Couldn't resist trying to rope the INTJs in. I figured than as long as it's clever (or at least trying to be clever) then there's a chance that I'll get a genuinely enthused subscribe or alternatively a sympathy subscribe ~ Nathan
That and I like to "leave things better than when I arrived." So if our futures part at some point, I will be happy to know that they benefited from my presence. - INTJ getting mushy gushy
First sign that I (an INTJ) that I like you is that I know your name. Seems simple enough, but I have plenty of acquaintances whose names I can’t remember. I know that sounds rude, but it’s true.
Honestly same. There was this one girl my sibling was friends with, I met her at least half a dozen times, and each time was like the first time... I had no idea who she was, didn't remember her name or face. To this day I can't recall her name or face. So if an intj remembers someone, they should feel pretty accomplished tbh.
I'm an INTJ and I find it absolutely disrespectful to give the least effort to know someone's name. Their name is their identity. Neglecting someone's name would be the same as to not give a fuck about their existence. I get irritated when I see someone who treats their peers or subordinates with neglect.
The "quality time" aspect here is very accurate in my experience of dating an INTJ- he really values his alone time, so when he goes out of his way to include you in his schedule, it means you're truly special and you should never take that for granted. It's actually quite easy to tell if an INTJ likes you because they're not the "people pleaser" type at all, and they'll rarely ever waste their time on people they're not fond of. In other words, they won't suck up to you or try and gain your approval if they don't like you, so if they show affection, likely it's genuine. I'm an INFP, to anyone who's curious.
This is very accurate and I appreciate the fact that another person understands. You know it's facts when you're making me feel things. Those overrated mediums humans call emotions.
@@MJAY-N7129 Lol, I guess you could say feelings are one of my strong suits as an INFP. We tend to be quite good at reading people, even the mysterious, seemingly-cold-and-detached-at-first-glance INTJs.
@@RMX2017 I think what you said about opening up would very much resonate with my INTJ boyfriend. It's difficult for him to be vulnerable with someone, so if he faces any level of rejection or betrayal as a result of doing so, it can be nearly impossible for him to recover from that blow. Emotions comes to me more naturally as an INFP so I don't always understand where he's coming from with his reluctance to talk about them, and it can cause clashes, but we both try to be more patient with each other, and generally speaking we share a wonderful relationship.
As a female INTJ: getting "a lot" more patient with them, trying to discover them, sharing our deeper thoughts with them, asking for their advice, maybe actually using their advice, playfully annoying or challenging them Thanks for the video
I have an INTJ sister. You can tell how much she likes someone by how often she compliments their intelligence! I swear it’s her way of saying “I love you”. 😂❤️
We think robotically, but we don't feel that way. Just read Nietzsche for a good example of an inner world of an INTJ. We're deeply romantic about our thoughts, that's why we're so driven to the future. Careful and tiresome (for others) analysis is often mixed with bursts of emotion at our epiphanies and discoveries, which we then crave to share or put into action.
This is why ENTP/INTJ are a great pair. They encourage us to try and actually achieve something, and we can help them navigate society with their lack of Fe.
Same. I find when I really like someone( not that it’s often) I can’t help but want to be around them as much as possible. Idk how people just never go near their crush lol
yep and I just want to be with them all the time, because I'm like " wow I found someone with whom I enjoy talking I need to know everything, figure them out, solve all their problems" lol, I get laser focus on them
No, we don’t like talking to people, even those we know if the conversation doesn’t have a purpose. E.g is this to solve a problem. We don’t do small talk. I am not talking to you about random life things because those conversations happen internally due to dominant introverted intuition. But if I’m just talking to a person about stuff, it is because I really like them
INTJs take a long time to decide whether a potential partner is the one. They observe, analyze, and evaluate whether they can see a positive future together. Once their mind is set, it's solid as long as new information doesn't contradict their initial findings.
My INTJ fixed my entire life and I'm INCREDIBLY grateful for this. I was such a mess before him. He also said that it feels really nice to help me because I actually listen to his advice, try my best improve my life and return all this love to him in double size haha. - ENFP
my INTJ husband is the back bone of the family, and I am the ENFP wife that puts colours in our life. We are so different. Yet so complimentary. Everything i lack, he brings them in. everything he lack, i fill them in. But it's true, we have very different ways to show our love, but after years of being together, we know each other like the back of our hands. And we can count on each other always.
@@user-pk5pl7ox1e that's a great question. and it does happen when he would sound very dismissive over my feelings. and it's true that sometimes it hurts. but i would tell him that it does, after things cooled down of course. to be honest, he is actually very sensitive. more so than some people might think. it's just that his wall of logic is just so thick that it seems heartless. at the end of the day though, he is doing what's best, even though it might not be the nicest way to do it. and this only happens when all else fails. but it's true, he isn't one to sit down to talk about petty girl issues, which to be fair isn't always fun. so for that, i have my infj best friend lol
When an INTJ likes someone as a good friend: 1. They usually tend to ask them lots of questions to be more familiar with them and because they're genuinely interested in developing the connection. 2. They easily make jokes or can behave in a playful manner with them at times. 3. They don't feel reluctant to request them for advice or their feedback on something e.g. asking them what they think a certain dream they've had could mean etc.
So... I'm "sorta" dating this ENFP. He's not into mbti at all, but he was able to intuit my type after a few conversations. Anyway, I suggested he change something about his communication to help me feel more comfortable. He did it right away and, embarrassingly, I turned into a mushy ball of *outwardly* positive emotions. 😅 The poor guy was confused as hell, disbelieving that I could be that soft (lol). But it's true. I think we place a lot of value in improving people and things, so when someone listens and does what we say, it validates our intelligence and reassures us that we're not *wasting time* on thinking about this person and including them in our future. It's a roundabout way of saying that "time spent" is our primary love language, even if that time is majorly comprised of streams of thought, rather than physical. And yes, Nathan, I do like you. I even shared a few of your videos on my dummy FB account.
ENFPs rock. I'm married to one! They're willing to work with our idealism and crazy goals. Very supportive. But they also are a great source of creativity and great people to brainstorm with.
Nice! Comment section is full of ENTPs with INTJs😂 I just want to say, I can't also believe that Intj's can be soft like that. I'm also glad that I follow her advice to improve my life(even if it's sooo hard to bend my sensitive personality). 😂💕 Happy Enfp here😂💕
My coworker is an INTJ and I'm beginning to see he likes me. If he's explaining something, I like listening because he actually makes sense and he can tell I understand him. INTJs honestly rock, and even if they might not like it, big hugs from this INFJ.
My husband is an INTJ and I started cutting his hair during the pandemic. He literally loves everything about this new development. We're saving future AND present money (since clearly this means I'll be cutting his hair and all of our future hypothetical childrens' hair in perpetuity), its productive quality time and I (an ISFJ) am improving at something when I cut his hair every 2 weeks. It truly is the little things!
Ahaha! This, this is painfully accurate. Basically, if I like you, I try to help you succeed and achieve your goal because I image that is important to you and would make you happy. I’ll probably overthink a series of potential problems and try to minimise them by offering you some potentially helpful solutions and schedule time to spend with you. The only thing I might disagree with is the “pointless” statement when it comes to doing things just for fun - I generally do tend to see most of them as pointless but I changed my perspective on that, I figured, if doing those pointless activities brings the person I care about joy and works towards the goal of forming and maintaining a stronger connection with them, then it’s not entirely pointless ~ INTJ
Me as an infj who has been uninterested in dating men my whole life... came across an intj man who has awakened my senses in every way. It’s scary but exciting. If he’s not the one, then I will seriously start to doubt my purpose for being here.
Good for you!!! If hoy havet he same goals and purposes in life, I wish you all the happiness. I recomend you read for your financial inprovement Poor dad, Rich dad from Robert Kiyosaki. But the cashflow game if you can🍀
If you tell an INTJ your goals and they like you, they'll start to plot for you...lol i kind of do that all the time although now im not sure whether one actually wants to receive that help! You' ve perfectly described us yet again Nathan!
taking out sugarcoatings, I (an INTJ) usually don't like wasting my time but if I like you, I can totally disregard it. Like any INTJ, I like improving myself. If I can improve myself to make our relationship better, I will certainly do it but please reassure me that you will do the same too.
Im INFJ with a couple INTJs in my life...its so hard to find realistic info, its usually"they're icy, inhuman robots" which is just stupid. This video was helpful more in retrospect, like, "That's why I'm always getting unsolicited advice!" So thank you, with only 1 function different, I feel so much better understood by the INTJs in my life than any other type Ive met and I want to return the favor by understanding them better.
INTJs actually tend to understand INFJs very well than reverse (sad but true) - mostly because if INTJ care about any person like that, they care much deeply and their Te has absorbed too much of knowledge about you, and Ni has been simulating you in their heads. (Even sometimes literally, INTJs actually speak with their own heads and imagine their close people in among those at receiving end of their convo) But the Fi Vs Fe becomes a big problem after a while, as INTJs tend to actually care more and have a deeper feeling for the INFJ than reverse. INTJs tend to be the ones who first passively attracted the INFJ to themselves through their insightful and intuitive ideas and conversations, but after the conversations started happening regularly, INTJ started caring about the INFJ, and started to obsess over them. Fe is always a shallow feeling function that ends usually by misjudging the feelings of a tertiary Fi user like INTJ, and INTJs start to feel the pain of it in a while. It is same for ISFJs too - but with ISFJs, INTJs can just remember some social cues and rules to behave so that they can be more amicable. With an INFJ, especially one who is not in their best version of themselves, INTJs have literally no clue on how to behave enough to make INFJs feel the same about an INTJ. Turns out, Fe will win in the end. Having possibly just one or two close person to talk to at any point in life, INTJ might actually been trusting a lot the INFJ to understand their feelings and not judge them, but who can stop Fe, especially with an Ni dominance. And INTJs usually cannot open their mouth in such a position to fix the INFJs because they don't want to lose the one person they put months of their life on.
Hi! INTJ female here, engaged with my INFJ partner of the last 6 years and à half. I do find that we understand eachother much better then most other types. We, INTJS are just more organized and direct then you guys. But we are the same on so many levels. Really enjoying that connection. We bring a lot to eachother
I've never been "romantically" interested in anyone, but if I like you, I want to get to know you. I want to know all the details, figure out how your mind works, and I want you to take the time to figure out how mine works too. I'll remember your birthday, or random details most people would miss. Basically if I like you as a person I want to study you, and I want you to take some sort of interest in me and how I perceive the world, beyond just the way I look and act.
As an ESTP raised by an INTJ mother, saying it hasn't always been easy would be an understatement. She's controlling, critical, never satisfied and all business (almost). As an ESTP I'd say I'm impulsive, take too many unwarranted risks and although somewhat successful, I'm definitely not very future based. Probably not what most INTJs would want their son, or daughter for that matter to be like. Our personalities definitely clash. With that being said, she's really been an amazing mother. What she lacks in tact or charm, she has made up for and more with pure substance. Extremely dedicated, caring, loving and thoughtful. She's also wanted a better future for all of her loved one's and has done her part to make sure of it, deservingly or not
I bought a coworker a charger because he kept forgetting to bring his and was always borrowing mine but often forgetting to return it. Sigh~ I even anticipated his bad habit.
Yeah ...in high school I bought an extra special folder for forgetful ENTJ friend because this one teacher was going to reject all essays without that special folder and my Ni knew she was going to forget it.... I wanted her to succeed and all it took was a folder. -intj
I like INTJ’s but they really cramp my style. Every time I get an unsolicited progress report from some app I’m using, I know there is an INTJ behind it.
Holy SHI- I'm amazed at your understanding and ability to succintly describe these notions, Nathan. You aren't my favourite MBTI youtuber for nothing ;)
High praise indeed! I find it so alien and uncomfortable to ramble or have redundant words in the videos, I really don't know how people do it. Some people can just riff for hours, I don't think this is something I will ever be able to do when it's just me talking to the camera! Either way, extremely glad to hear that you like it ~ Nathan
I like to have fun. It’s just my idea of having fun is grinding in a video game in order to get better. Speed running animal crossing without time traveling is super fun. Nothing quite like gaining as much progress per day as you are able and unlocking everything as fast as possible. Grinding and optimization is fun!
i'm an INFP and INTJs are my favorite type!!! They're great! Whenever I'm with an INTJ long enough for both of us to come out our shells, we totally get each other! I find their determination and "get shit done" attitude very admirable, mostly because I'm terrible at planning things out and the details that entail. I personally enjoy their company better than Te-doms (no judgement!), probably because one, theyre introverted like me, and two, they are often very motivated by their tert Fi, which I find appealing and easier to communicate with. The ability to take your dreams and put them into reality is so important, and INTJs seem to be ready to take on the challenge. edit: formatting because I'm that bitch
I really love your videos, theyre well explained and objective compared to most intj youtubers that seem just a bit extreme(Im an intp thats trying to dissect what different btw me and my intj friends) ：）
@Daniel Spajic There's a great amount of controversy regarding LiJo's type. I recommend reading this recent Reddit post I've linked below. In summary, a good number of people in the typology community believed that she fakes her type as an INTJ and in reality is an ESFP. I don't have too much of an opinion on her type. Her content quality is generally high, but I don't agree with some of her views of typology itself. Post: www.reddit.com/r/intj/comments/k8i44q/the_business_of_the_mistyped_intjs_lead_by_lijo/
We do more than fix. We are also really good at listening and bringing/finding you the things you enjoy. We are really good at noticing a thing and passing along this thing to whom we know might truly enjoy it. Bonus if the thing brings us curiosity. Example, I was talking to a dude that interested me. He was big into DnD, I knew nothing about it but was curious. I invited him to a DnD improve, musical theatre gig. All of which, brand new experience for me and I got to see my new human in a happy place...with a strange girl who asked a million questions. I'm am excellent human concierge.
My ISFP friend coined it as an observation towards my uncanny ability to find and connect specific people...I failed to notice this was something endearing about me. Now it is my work-in-progress as far as being less rogue-alien. Still single AF but more friends and meaningful connections.
Sometimes my partner comes to me with a problem and within two minutes I'm like "Here, I have the answer for you on a silver platter. No, no please, take it. You're welcome." (I don't quite say it like that). Then when I check in a week later and they still haven't done the thing, it completely baffles me. I wonder what possible reason could they have for not using the solution that's RIGHT THERE. I'm trying to be better at discussing it with them, rather than getting frustrated. Often they have a reason that I genuinely never considered, because it's something that isn't an issue for me, but is for them. You would think by now I would stop overlooking that other people process things differently than myself, but it still trips me up.
They're pale, because they spend most of their time inside alone, plotting. They wear all black, because it's simple, classic, and choosing different colors and outfits is a waste of time. They're disgustingly honest. They know they're usually right and everyone should listen to them. When the chips are down and no one else can do the job properly, they will morph into an ENTJ and take the leadership role. Favorite phrases include: "that's wrong", "that's stupid", "no, like this", "I refuse", "actually", "trust me", "it's better this way."
@@philmstud2k You are mostly describing an immature INTJ with the comments they may make. I did that when I was 16, but when I got more life and business experience I learned to be more humble, I will never call someone stupid, everyone starts somewhere. Anger will cloud your creativity, always be positive. People will not listen when you are putting them down, its better to uplift them and show the way, also never assume that you know more than the other person, everyone you meet knows something you don't.
@@madbros5613 I agree with you! I was that arrogant before becoming 19 and after becoming a leader for some projects, I learnt to be more patient with others and never jump to conclusions that I strongly believed in too fast, and to ACCEPT that some people do things better when it's extremely close to deadlines.
I had an INTJ confessing that he likes me, being INFP, I like relationships to flow naturally, you might or might not be more than friends, it can grow deeper or fall apart as you get to know each other better but this INTJ was quite forceful, he was determined to make me his girlfriend, and turn me into his version of an ideal girlfriend. I already take criticism personally but he would always point out my insecurities and my weaknesses, lecturing me how to be better. I find that he lacks tactness and understanding to deal with me, while I am too emotional and soft for him. When I broke things off, he sent me an essay on how I must stop being a loser and improve before jumping on my next relationship. Their need to fix their partner is taxing for me personally. Never again for this INFP.
Aw I’m sorry! I know that not all INTJs are like that. Being an INTJ, I think I am a lot more considerate and have grown more in respecting other’s emotions/feelings.. due to choosing to push myself to work with more feeler types. Some Intjs are more developed than others.. I would say you could meet another intj guy that is able to appreciate who you are and give you space for that.. if you’re meant to be with one again.
@Hannah Jones Exactly. I don't know about you, but I realise I need someone enjoys driving through scenic routes and smell the flowers with me. I always feel most at home with another INFP. When I was with the INTJ and once with an ENTJ, life always felt like a rush, too fast, too demanding, a great learning experience though. Both were obsessed with fixing me, though the ENTJ was more subtle, because he is pretty good with people being an extrovert.
i feel you. INFJ here. it's even more difficult when you realize their criticism is their form of "love." the most important thing you can do for your own self growth and the growth of others is to realize when a relationship is doing more damage than good. sometimes the best solution and the biggest act of love (even in the INTJ sense) is to know when it is best to walk away.
As someone who has an INTJ best friend, I get you. I think he is an INTJ but an EXTREMELY toxic one,heck pretty sure his just toxic cause you don't need to be an INTJ to be over controlling and abusive. INFP takes a LOT of time to be comfortable around people, so is INTJ, the right INTJ wouldn't immediately try to fix you cause they don't feel like your worthy enough, they also take time to get genuinely comfortable around someone. I wanted to take the life of my INTJ friends cause we use to genuinely hate each other guts but now we're out here hanging with each other on daily bases. Don't stop dating an INTJ because of that one bad apple, from my experience their very loyal, caring and genuine people and they try to fix people they care cause that's what they do to themself (like my INTJ bff who put effort in reassuring me that we're friends after she learns I constantly have trust issue and doubt, she doesn't get why that's an issue but she does it anyway even though its a hassle cause I told her it's important to me) , they try not to be hypocritical Relationship with an INTJ takes lots of time and effort and fixing but it's worth it in the end (took me 2 years to finally be actual friends with my INTJ buddy but I think it's a good trade for a friendship of a lifetime)
This is absolutely accurate, and as an INTJ myself I'm allocating some of my own time to tell you that I appreciate the fact that your video was short and concise. That uses up my one comment per month limit. Goodbye
I typed as an INTJ for most of my life. I viewed people who partied and indulged in short term pleasures all the time as animalistic and mediocre because they weren’t willing to put in the effort and time to achieve their goals. Things got interesting tho after i went through a series of spiritual awakenings. I now type as an ENFP. Now people just seem like people with no dominator hierarchy. I have increased Fe and Se it seems but I still have retained my strength for strategic problem solving like a regular INTJ. Awesome video Nathan :). Very accurate from my pov.
I am ENFP who loves the differences and distinctions in every person and I would like to say that I really love your eyebrows. They are so unique, they add character to your face and they just suit you.
Intj female here. This is sooo accurate. (Long text next) I am the older sister. Now, I am more focused in life that when I was younger. Sometimes my advice could be "heartless" and cold, but they are not lies. I really care about my family. If you hurt them, you better run or die. But this is so true about "fixing". I push my little sister to be a better person and she often ask for advice about people around her because I never go wrong about them. I have the abbility of "guessing" people's intentions and weaknesses. And "predict" their movements/reactions. I had to learn how to talk to people. I am direct and harsh, so I had to take lessons about communication and other soft skills. That is my area of improving. I sucked, at least now, I don't hurt people in the moment, rather I oriented them making realize that it was their idea.... I have to get better. I had to go to therapy because of childhood traumas too. I am a romantic soul, but I hate this hook up culture. And I think having long relayionshios just being boyfriend anda girlfriend is a waste oficina time. I want to ver married, but I rather choose an arraged marriage that dating and having "puppy love". So now, I am preparing myself to be a traditional wife: taking baking lessons, etiquette courses, dancing, personal training. I want to have a happy and healthy family, to achieve that, I have to choose the right partner and I can't do it if I am not in my optimal health (physical and mental) condition. So, when a close friend asked me about why I didn't have a boyfriend and I explained that I want a legacy and a family with purpose, she freaked out.... I have to keep improving my people communication skills😅 I live in an occidental country, the probabilities of having an arranged married are very low... And muy parents don't understand why I want one. So ah least I have to improve myself and move in the social circles that a good partner could be. If I can reduce the probabilities of getting a wrong match, I will do it.👌
Im an Intj when my exe first started hitting on me ..he liked how aloof and standoffish I seemed..I was like a challenge he had to conquer ..so when I started to like him back ( which involves me spending hours with him..talking on and on abt future ideas that involve both of us ..surprising him with gifts ..writing poetry ..pushing him to apply for jobs and attend auditions and being very goofy around him )he said he didn't know me that way and he left ..people really think intjs don't have feelings and end up feeling overwhelmed when we love them its sad.
I see life pointless sometimes. Like that 'fun' you talked about. Like it comes from nothing and goes to nothing. All of the life time we sacrifice to gain something that will keeps us to be afraid to die in the end...It hunts me :(
Same. No one talks about it. Distractions inbetween total oblivion. Life is pointless in a way (doesn't have to be a bad thing) so you need to come up with sth yourself. This thought isn't always this present to me, but there are periods where I'm very conscious of it, and it's bizzare and depressing to walk around society, with this in mind: Lifes that are so caught up in societies distractions, making up meanings for themselves. I'm not sure how many people think about this/ talk about this, but I haven't had one conversation about this. It's hard to bring this up, when all the people just seem to be very interested in drama, and as an INTP I kind of have a hard time with people and also with expressing my own thoughts. So I'm kind of alone, not knowing what to do with these thoughts, not being able to relate to others and vice versa... so I came here, and am glad to see similar concerns. I adore the INTJ, much love -INTP
It is objectively pointless/meaningless, but since that only leaves one with subjective meaning,,, well, paradoxical ambition makes sense within a senseless framework, so any meaning of it all is tacitly ignored. And then it's over, or maybe I should say back to normal, since we were all dead for billions of years before we were born (and note: it didn't bother us the least). If it makes you feel better, consider life as the beeping of a slumbering alarm clock. Whether it feels good the moment you can ignore it, or just good to ignore because you know it made no sense wake up in the first place, you'll soon be back to sleep no matter how you slumber.
INFP here and I adore INTJ’s so much. Such a fascinating type with beautiful minds. I wish I could listen to them talk about their passions thoughts and ideas for hours
I hate it. I don't understand that. When I go to someone and open up about something, I'm expecting some advices. Because as a good INTJ that I am, I'm also after the benefits of opening up, outside of just opening up. If I notice someone is only using my time to run in circle I cut contact.
@@minir.3182 Same. Like, why even bother telling me your problems if you don't want advice? Don't waste my time hearing out your issues if you don't want a solution. I know that sounds unfeeling, but if I didn't care about you, I wouldn't bother with you at all. Keep that stuff to yourself if you don't want my take and let's go do something entertaining.
I rarely comment in public forums but I adore you and you’re so insightful when it comes to this personality type. It feels like I’m finally understood by someone. Keep up the good work!
I had to get my INTJ partner of 15 years to watch this. A 3 min long video turned in 15 mins of listening to him go on about the topics in the video. lol When my hubby met me as a 22 yr old INFP, he tried to improve me in every way he thought I needed. When I was a young INFP man, who was exploring the world for myself for the first time, it was a bit much hearing everything he felt I did wrong or could improve upon. From the music I listen to, to where I was going in my life. In one way it felt like he was sharing his knowledge with me and trying to make me the best person I could be. In another if felt as if he was trying to mold me into what he wanted me to be. He just didn't know what was me and what could change. It took its toll on my self esteem. There was more going on than just that, but it all came together and wore me down, made me frustration and out right furious. I had to learn to take his input and tell him when to back off. That was a lesson he needed to learn for himself, too. When is his advice is wanted and when it's best to back off. With other people I still see him push his opinion of what someone should do and I have to tell him to back off a bit. At the end of the day, if every personality took some INTJ advice, they would be a lot better for it. The real issue with trying to improve someone is the hypocrisy in it. Like you said, an INTJ knows they can improve, but they only know how to improve in their own way and when they can't see the value in someone's advice, well how do you expect anyone to see the value in yours? It's give and take, especially in a relationship. It took awhile for my partner to see the value in heeding my advice and applying it to his life. Him being older and me being younger didn't help matters, but if he could tell every INTJ, the benefits of opening their minds, he would. Just like I would tell every INFP we could do the same. Despite the hard road we travelled the first few years of being together, I couldn't imagine my life without him. We made each other better people. He's able to see my talents and push me into a direction. I have two businesses I am working on solely because he pushed me and gave me direction. I have a 1000 ideas and there's nothing like the laser focus of an INTJ to make those ideas come to fruition.
@@lovewho for saint True, it would be worthy also reflect a sexual side if Intj... Of shadow Queens...so, Nathan, i extremly looking forward for opinion of masculine intp type about intj female sexuality.
Yea, very true about wanting someone to improve in areas lacking. The gag is, I want them to be intuitive enough to do it on their own without telling them to do anything because I don’t want to boss anyone around. Sure I communicate needs but, if not met, I’ll feel the need to move on and work on myself and or find someone else who can do it better. The ultimate goal for at least myself is, find the one to grow old with, be happy and live a balanced life. But aren’t we all?
You are spot on about the INTJ. Also: I was waiting for this call to action to follow with the note - if you want - and here it is :) For those who don't like being told what to do - it's giving them a choice which is a form of showing respect. Thanks for that :)
The classic workaholics (although it should be workics; they're not addicted to workahol). My INTJ brother-in-law does not know how to "play." He works when he goes on vacation. OTOH, as an INTP, for me, not working comes naturally.
(INTP... For context, sake) I enjoyed this video, as I do all your other work. The more I watch this channel, the more I encourage my friends and aquaintences to take the M-B test and immediately report back to me, their findings. This way I can gain insight about how to deal with these people in any number of scenarios in the future. I'm not kidding. Keep it up Nathan and Lu. Fantastic content.
Those two get along great, until the INTJ hurts the INFJ's feelings and the INFJ slams the door in the INTJ's face. What's up with all the door slamming, my sweet little INFJ's
You know, I was surprised when I first time watched you. Never felt more understood. I even come here to test my theory. Thanks for your willingness to provide best content. -INTJ.
I really like this video... it sort of assumes an INTJ audience, but it also sort of assumes an audience of people who would very much like to be liked by an INTJ. I am a proud ENFP in love with an extreme INTJ, and I've found some articles on why INTJs and ENFPs are a good match. The only thing more fun than work is... ME! My INTJ sweetheart agrees. I might like more information on the INTJ-ENFP match.
INTJ here and yes: I spent a lot of my time watching your videos, so you know that I genuinely like your content! (The accuracy in the way you exposed me of being responsible of wanting to improve people once I grow attached to them...)
The simple fact that people arround me operate in a different layout was a chock to me. Why this explaination is it so close to the Core behaviour of INTJs if MBTI is wrong. Another strike right in the heart well done !!!
When people start talking about their struggles, I ask them some easy questions and they might get surprised they had just spelled the solutions to their problems by answering them. If they abide, it makes me happy I end up engaging in work that out with them. If they keep making excuses, I either walk away slowly or just change the subject... I have my struggles and work hard to fix them. I just don't like insisting with people to fix their own perceived issues.
As an INTJ, I have to say, sometimes it's better not to waste time "fixing" something that works, especially if there is nothing apparent that is wrong with it.
I'm rewatching all of your INTJ videos and I decided to comment just to thank you for this one. Sometimes I feel bad about all that 'fixing-goal-setting' stuff and I know I do do that only if I care enough about someone to bother to do that at all and i KNOW that people often are angry I try to lecture them. But in one of your other INTJ-videos you mentioned 'social skills is something an intj needs to aquire' - and I realised that the thing I've always missed was telling the person I really care about... that I give them advises because I want them to be happy, not because I think they're somehow incompetent. When I grew older I realised that... well. Most of the things I had told people in the past was right but lots of times I had used the wrong words and sometimes the only thing you need to not be seen as a smart ass bitch is to add "I'm not judging you. I care about you and I want you to be happy/succeed. If you need help, I'll help you, if you want to ask something, do that". When I was younger I thought it was obvious but it seems it wasn't obvious at all since most of people arent' INTJ xD On the other side - I tend to get angry and dissapointed when someone gives me advise and doesn't care at all if I follow it (or if I'm even able to do do what they told me to do...)
"To the INTJs watching: you've already given me your time, so I'll assume you like me" Well, tbh I watch TH-cam when I'm working out 😅 but I like you, I subbed.
My INTJ is so precious, I can be such an moment ruining asshole but she still keeps me around and gets my humor, she even made me a necklace herself I try my best to treat her right. She's like... every good thing in the world. -ENTP
Yes, true, but.. where do I find fellow INTJ's to work with toward shared goals?? And how do I avoid those people who put high value on that "fun" stuff...?
Find some CEO - he is ENTJ, which is close enough. Both strategic, future-oriented, working like hell on the goals. Also, all the 4 basic cognitive functions are the same, just in slightly different order.
@@brownin329 ah, that's too bad! My husband and I are both INTJs, as well as my best friend. Best relationships I've ever had! It's nice to do an activity together, and not have to talk or explain yourself -or even entertain them!
My best friend is an INTJ and I have to say she has done all of these! And also I have an INTJ brother and just by the things he says I can figure all these... This never ceases to excite me and make my day no matter how many times I watch it!!! - an ENFP with stars in her eyes out of happiness!!
Point 3 really resonates. The thought of a day out at Thorpe Park or Alton Towers theme park just seems to zap my energy even thinking about it. Fixing up a boat and sailing / cruising around the world seems more appealing. Weird innit - all the expense and effort to fix up a boat to essentially roam the seas with no clear goal really inspires me, yet I can’t be bothered to spend a single day at a theme park. The paradox of being an INTJ....
I don't think it's a paradox. For one, theme parks aren't fun unless they're at least half empty. Two, the boat scenario has multiple purposes: fixing something for future use, learning new sailing techniques and finally, leisure time. Sailing is more purposeful, therefore more attractive.
Well. That's not so weird. I mean, you're just having a hard time articulating what you intuitively see: The sailing takes you away from the zombie apocalypse; the theme park puts you right in the middle of it.
The first point is indeed a very poignant issue...When I was younger, as a intj, I almost applied these on almost every person I met. I approach them with all good wishes but got a feedback of eye rolls, to say the least. But I eventually recognized how this manner is officious and realized thinking isn’t enough if I can’t feel for that person with the very panorama of her awareness/consciousness - similar to the idea in this saying “people don’t care what you think if they don’t think you care about them”. Costly to learn.
Get to know the real you with mindmymind - dub.sh/lovewho
Any other INTJs really appreciate how short the INTJ videos are? Thank you for understanding us so well!
I know that the INTJs aren't going to settle for inefficiency ~ Nathan
@@lovewho 😍
I was thinking the exact same thing! I was searching through other videos. However, they were to long for my efforts. This fit it nicely.
It is a rare gift to be understood.
@@alyciagoode3564 Agreed, despite it's rarity it is valued.
You can tell an INTJ likes you, when you suddenly interrupt their plans and they don't kill you (but get angry ofk)
Lmfao
Yes
Accurate
@craterdigger omg as an ENTP . I LOVE THAT AHAHAAA
Lol so true.
"To the INTJs watching: you've already given me your time, so I'll assume you like me." 😆😏😉
Clever, Nathan.
Couldn't resist trying to rope the INTJs in. I figured than as long as it's clever (or at least trying to be clever) then there's a chance that I'll get a genuinely enthused subscribe or alternatively a sympathy subscribe ~ Nathan
I literally laughed out loud and thought to myself "Sneaky. Got me on that one. I better not make that mistake again."
Yeah. Clever and accurate 🖤
-from another INTJ
@@lovewho You got me, man. (INTJ who just subbed.)
1. I did indeed appreciate the cleverness.
2. I realised as you said it that it's true.
im an intj meh
"I will fix you." --INTJs in love
*help
It's like a big bowl of warm cuddles.
"I need to be fixed"-- ENTP
Personally, I'd rather not put the time and energy into that, so my favorite people are the ones who already have it all figured out 😆
But we wouldn't really fall in love with people who need to be fixed, that's just waste of time.
INTJs seem to be the most optimized group of people ever - from an admiring INFP
INFPs seem to be the most adorable group of people ever - from an admiring INTJ.
@@riverunconfirmed well played!!!
@@riverunconfirmed agree!
@@riverunconfirmed agreed
Other types are too but with Ni dominant it makes us relentless at solving problems. INFJs do too but the Te of INTJ helps in problematic settings
I call it merging futures. If I'm serious about someone their future becomes my future.
Yes!
That and I like to "leave things better than when I arrived." So if our futures part at some point, I will be happy to know that they benefited from my presence.
- INTJ getting mushy gushy
"Merging Futures" that's a really nice way of describing it ~ Nathan
In a way, it allows them to live on vicariously through their loved ones. They figure out a way to control the uncontrollable, respectively
@@dacksonflux exactly...
First sign that I (an INTJ) that I like you is that I know your name. Seems simple enough, but I have plenty of acquaintances whose names I can’t remember. I know that sounds rude, but it’s true.
My best friend (ENTJ) does the same... Unbelievable!
- INFP
Honestly same. There was this one girl my sibling was friends with, I met her at least half a dozen times, and each time was like the first time... I had no idea who she was, didn't remember her name or face. To this day I can't recall her name or face. So if an intj remembers someone, they should feel pretty accomplished tbh.
I was wondering how I could remember so much about a person but not the name, glad to know I'm not broken is a strange way :D
I don't remember names well but I didn't connect it to being an INTJ. A side effect of weak Fe maybe?
I'm an INTJ and I find it absolutely disrespectful to give the least effort to know someone's name. Their name is their identity. Neglecting someone's name would be the same as to not give a fuck about their existence.
I get irritated when I see someone who treats their peers or subordinates with neglect.
The "quality time" aspect here is very accurate in my experience of dating an INTJ- he really values his alone time, so when he goes out of his way to include you in his schedule, it means you're truly special and you should never take that for granted. It's actually quite easy to tell if an INTJ likes you because they're not the "people pleaser" type at all, and they'll rarely ever waste their time on people they're not fond of. In other words, they won't suck up to you or try and gain your approval if they don't like you, so if they show affection, likely it's genuine.
I'm an INFP, to anyone who's curious.
Great comment! ~ Nathan
Yes indeed
This is very accurate and I appreciate the fact that another person understands. You know it's facts when you're making me feel things. Those overrated mediums humans call emotions.
@@MJAY-N7129 Lol, I guess you could say feelings are one of my strong suits as an INFP. We tend to be quite good at reading people, even the mysterious, seemingly-cold-and-detached-at-first-glance INTJs.
@@RMX2017 I think what you said about opening up would very much resonate with my INTJ boyfriend. It's difficult for him to be vulnerable with someone, so if he faces any level of rejection or betrayal as a result of doing so, it can be nearly impossible for him to recover from that blow. Emotions comes to me more naturally as an INFP so I don't always understand where he's coming from with his reluctance to talk about them, and it can cause clashes, but we both try to be more patient with each other, and generally speaking we share a wonderful relationship.
As a female INTJ: getting "a lot" more patient with them, trying to discover them, sharing our deeper thoughts with them, asking for their advice, maybe actually using their advice, playfully annoying or challenging them
Thanks for the video
YES, I'm a female INTJ and using someone else's advice is a sure sign that I am close to that person.
@@elenawong4431 I have been happily married to an INTP for 12 years.
If I purposefully annoy you, I like you.
I'm so happy I found some INTJ females
I'm a female intj yes I agree with what you said, I randomly go into this epiphany mode at times too and just go on tangent about random things
I have an INTJ sister. You can tell how much she likes someone by how often she compliments their intelligence! I swear it’s her way of saying “I love you”. 😂❤️
That's a smart observation of her. As a female INTJ I do the same as your sister. 😊
I'm an INFJ but close to being an INTJ and I'm the same way with people I like. I'm generally more drawn to the N/T or N/J types 😊
Yesss 🥰❤
“They will start fixing you”
*Sweats in lazy -intp
I can feel that
-infp
Lol same
-fellow intp
This so funny🤣🤣🤣🤣
Pls no routines pls
-infp
I felt that to my core - entp here
This makes me appreciate INTJs even more, they’re very loyal, giving and I cannot tolerate the whole “robotic” umbrella they’re stuff under- INFP-T
Well, Dam
We think robotically, but we don't feel that way. Just read Nietzsche for a good example of an inner world of an INTJ. We're deeply romantic about our thoughts, that's why we're so driven to the future. Careful and tiresome (for others) analysis is often mixed with bursts of emotion at our epiphanies and discoveries, which we then crave to share or put into action.
True🌸
INTJ friend is the best, their so loyal and genuine, feels good man :)
-also an INFP
I can see how much we INFPs appreciate INTJs qualities 🤭
This is why ENTP/INTJ are a great pair. They encourage us to try and actually achieve something, and we can help them navigate society with their lack of Fe.
That is indeed an absolutely epic duo ~ Nathan
Yeah need me an INxJ, unfortunately they're so g-d- rare >:(
Fe must be destroyed at all costs...
-resident INTJ
Or lack of Fi for that matter
ENTP-INTJ are ideal matches.
INTJ:
1st ENTP
2nd INTP
3rd ESFJ
ENTP:
1st INTJ
2nd ENTJ
3rd ISFP
tbh it isn't very hard to recognise that I like someone... I just talk with them. it isn't the case with most people.
Agreee
Same. I find when I really like someone( not that it’s often) I can’t help but want to be around them as much as possible. Idk how people just never go near their crush lol
yep and I just want to be with them all the time, because I'm like " wow I found someone with whom I enjoy talking I need to know everything, figure them out, solve all their problems" lol, I get laser focus on them
Yes absolutely.
No, we don’t like talking to people, even those we know if the conversation doesn’t have a purpose. E.g is this to solve a problem. We don’t do small talk. I am not talking to you about random life things because those conversations happen internally due to dominant introverted intuition. But if I’m just talking to a person about stuff, it is because I really like them
Amazing. INTJ here. I just sent this to my husband with an apology note. lol
Haha! This comment made me laugh, hopefully he enjoyed it! ~ Nathan
❤❤
INTJs take a long time to decide whether a potential partner is the one. They observe, analyze, and evaluate whether they can see a positive future together. Once their mind is set, it's solid as long as new information doesn't contradict their initial findings.
“They’re going to start fixing you.” 💯
Humans are fun puzzles to solve ~ Nathan
Agreed!
Or try their very hardest
@Trihardious Maximus what's her personality type?
@Trihardious Maximus she must be an infj
My INTJ fixed my entire life and I'm INCREDIBLY grateful for this. I was such a mess before him. He also said that it feels really nice to help me because I actually listen to his advice, try my best improve my life and return all this love to him in double size haha. - ENFP
why did you leave him?
@@peterkimani3364where did u get that info?
my INTJ husband is the back bone of the family, and I am the ENFP wife that puts colours in our life. We are so different. Yet so complimentary. Everything i lack, he brings them in. everything he lack, i fill them in. But it's true, we have very different ways to show our love, but after years of being together, we know each other like the back of our hands. And we can count on each other always.
This is the cutest
Okay mood
Loved it!! ❤❤
Wow thats great. Does your feelings ever get dismissed or do you have others in your network who fulfill that indicator? Just curious
@@user-pk5pl7ox1e that's a great question. and it does happen when he would sound very dismissive over my feelings. and it's true that sometimes it hurts. but i would tell him that it does, after things cooled down of course. to be honest, he is actually very sensitive. more so than some people might think. it's just that his wall of logic is just so thick that it seems heartless. at the end of the day though, he is doing what's best, even though it might not be the nicest way to do it. and this only happens when all else fails. but it's true, he isn't one to sit down to talk about petty girl issues, which to be fair isn't always fun. so for that, i have my infj best friend lol
When an INTJ likes someone as a good friend:
1. They usually tend to ask them lots of questions to be more familiar with them and because they're genuinely interested in developing the connection.
2. They easily make jokes or can behave in a playful manner with them at times.
3. They don't feel reluctant to request them for advice or their feedback on something e.g. asking them what they think a certain dream they've had could mean etc.
So... I'm "sorta" dating this ENFP. He's not into mbti at all, but he was able to intuit my type after a few conversations. Anyway, I suggested he change something about his communication to help me feel more comfortable. He did it right away and, embarrassingly, I turned into a mushy ball of *outwardly* positive emotions. 😅
The poor guy was confused as hell, disbelieving that I could be that soft (lol).
But it's true. I think we place a lot of value in improving people and things, so when someone listens and does what we say, it validates our intelligence and reassures us that we're not *wasting time* on thinking about this person and including them in our future.
It's a roundabout way of saying that "time spent" is our primary love language, even if that time is majorly comprised of streams of thought, rather than physical.
And yes, Nathan, I do like you. I even shared a few of your videos on my dummy FB account.
ENFPs rock. I'm married to one! They're willing to work with our idealism and crazy goals. Very supportive. But they also are a great source of creativity and great people to brainstorm with.
Nice! Comment section is full of ENTPs with INTJs😂
I just want to say, I can't also believe that Intj's can be soft like that. I'm also glad that I follow her advice to improve my life(even if it's sooo hard to bend my sensitive personality). 😂💕
Happy Enfp here😂💕
Lots of love to all INTJs out there!! From a buddie that close but far
-INFJ^_________^
And lots of lalalalove to both of you from an ENFP ^------^
Infjs are the cutest ppl ever
@@MariMari-ie6fc thanks!😊
@@ezpz4646 I'm just saying that although we have different personality types, we're not as different as one would expect us to be.(^^)
I have an infj best friend and an enfp one. Totally click with them for some of our shared traits and tendencies. Maybe it's the intuition....
My coworker is an INTJ and I'm beginning to see he likes me. If he's explaining something, I like listening because he actually makes sense and he can tell I understand him. INTJs honestly rock, and even if they might not like it, big hugs from this INFJ.
you know that an INTJ is broken when they ask for help, this is speaking from personal experience.
My husband is an INTJ and I started cutting his hair during the pandemic. He literally loves everything about this new development. We're saving future AND present money (since clearly this means I'll be cutting his hair and all of our future hypothetical childrens' hair in perpetuity), its productive quality time and I (an ISFJ) am improving at something when I cut his hair every 2 weeks. It truly is the little things!
As an ENTP, I find INTJs the most interesting and appealing of the types.
ENTPs and INTJs make an extremely impressive duo ~ Nathan
INTJ-ENTP are ideal matches.
Never met an ENTP
I can attest for the combo as someone in an ENTP INTJ relationship
I’m an INTJ and my lady is an ENTP. Long story short: 3 years in and it’s going great.
Ahaha!
This, this is painfully accurate.
Basically, if I like you, I try to help you succeed and achieve your goal because I image that is important to you and would make you happy. I’ll probably overthink a series of potential problems and try to minimise them by offering you some potentially helpful solutions and schedule time to spend with you. The only thing I might disagree with is the “pointless” statement when it comes to doing things just for fun - I generally do tend to see most of them as pointless but I changed my perspective on that, I figured, if doing those pointless activities brings the person I care about joy and works towards the goal of forming and maintaining a stronger connection with them, then it’s not entirely pointless ~ INTJ
You're right. An intj did that to me.
Infp~
I mean... Why do we rush so much just to slow down? 💭🤔😉
if you like someone will you just go and tell them?
Exactly how I felt about the last point 🙌
Exactly how I felt about the last point 🙌
Me as an infj who has been uninterested in dating men my whole life... came across an intj man who has awakened my senses in every way. It’s scary but exciting. If he’s not the one, then I will seriously start to doubt my purpose for being here.
Good for you!!!
If hoy havet he same goals and purposes in life, I wish you all the happiness.
I recomend you read for your financial inprovement
Poor dad, Rich dad from Robert Kiyosaki. But the cashflow game if you can🍀
It's been 2 years since you wrote that comment... Did you date him?
So, is he the one?
Nathan, as an INTJ I'm laughing and being impressed at the same time, at how you can call us out like this. Beautiful. And very true 😅❤
"Laughing and impressed" this is the perfect reaction ~ Nathan
If you tell an INTJ your goals and they like you, they'll start to plot for you...lol i kind of do that all the time although now im not sure whether one actually wants to receive that help!
You' ve perfectly described us yet again Nathan!
Yes!
I'm an intj and I don't do that. Their goals are theirs to achieve, so unless they want my help I'm not going to interfere :)
taking out sugarcoatings, I (an INTJ) usually don't like wasting my time but if I like you, I can totally disregard it. Like any INTJ, I like improving myself. If I can improve myself to make our relationship better, I will certainly do it but please reassure me that you will do the same too.
Yes🌸
If I like someone, my cold, rational side takes the back seat and I listen to what they have to say.
Im INFJ with a couple INTJs in my life...its so hard to find realistic info, its usually"they're icy, inhuman robots" which is just stupid. This video was helpful more in retrospect, like, "That's why I'm always getting unsolicited advice!" So thank you, with only 1 function different, I feel so much better understood by the INTJs in my life than any other type Ive met and I want to return the favor by understanding them better.
Female INTJ here. Totally agree about the INTJ tendency to give unsolicited advice! 😅
That’s so sweet ❤️, thanks
INTJs actually tend to understand INFJs very well than reverse (sad but true) - mostly because if INTJ care about any person like that, they care much deeply and their Te has absorbed too much of knowledge about you, and Ni has been simulating you in their heads. (Even sometimes literally, INTJs actually speak with their own heads and imagine their close people in among those at receiving end of their convo) But the Fi Vs Fe becomes a big problem after a while, as INTJs tend to actually care more and have a deeper feeling for the INFJ than reverse. INTJs tend to be the ones who first passively attracted the INFJ to themselves through their insightful and intuitive ideas and conversations, but after the conversations started happening regularly, INTJ started caring about the INFJ, and started to obsess over them.
Fe is always a shallow feeling function that ends usually by misjudging the feelings of a tertiary Fi user like INTJ, and INTJs start to feel the pain of it in a while. It is same for ISFJs too - but with ISFJs, INTJs can just remember some social cues and rules to behave so that they can be more amicable. With an INFJ, especially one who is not in their best version of themselves, INTJs have literally no clue on how to behave enough to make INFJs feel the same about an INTJ. Turns out, Fe will win in the end. Having possibly just one or two close person to talk to at any point in life, INTJ might actually been trusting a lot the INFJ to understand their feelings and not judge them, but who can stop Fe, especially with an Ni dominance. And INTJs usually cannot open their mouth in such a position to fix the INFJs because they don't want to lose the one person they put months of their life on.
Hi! INTJ female here, engaged with my INFJ partner of the last 6 years and à half.
I do find that we understand eachother much better then most other types.
We, INTJS are just more organized and direct then you guys. But we are the same on so many levels. Really enjoying that connection. We bring a lot to eachother
I've never been "romantically" interested in anyone, but if I like you, I want to get to know you. I want to know all the details, figure out how your mind works, and I want you to take the time to figure out how mine works too. I'll remember your birthday, or random details most people would miss. Basically if I like you as a person I want to study you, and I want you to take some sort of interest in me and how I perceive the world, beyond just the way I look and act.
Yes
I'm an ENFP dating an INTJ for 2 years now and.... this is the most accurate thing I've ever heard. Wow.
As an ESTP raised by an INTJ mother, saying it hasn't always been easy would be an understatement. She's controlling, critical, never satisfied and all business (almost). As an ESTP I'd say I'm impulsive, take too many unwarranted risks and although somewhat successful, I'm definitely not very future based. Probably not what most INTJs would want their son, or daughter for that matter to be like. Our personalities definitely clash. With that being said, she's really been an amazing mother. What she lacks in tact or charm, she has made up for and more with pure substance. Extremely dedicated, caring, loving and thoughtful. She's also wanted a better future for all of her loved one's and has done her part to make sure of it, deservingly or not
Balanced perspective
@Ana Sofía Torres just go ahead and enjoy yourself 😉
What does pure substance mean?
@Ana Sofía Torres There's something so impressively 'present' about them isn't there? And they're exciting :)
🌸🌸🌸
An INTJ friend bought me a spare phone charger, when I accidentally forgot mine at their house one time. As an INFJ, I greatly appreciated that.
I bought a coworker a charger because he kept forgetting to bring his and was always borrowing mine but often forgetting to return it. Sigh~ I even anticipated his bad habit.
🌸🌸
Yeah ...in high school I bought an extra special folder for forgetful ENTJ friend because this one teacher was going to reject all essays without that special folder and my Ni knew she was going to forget it.... I wanted her to succeed and all it took was a folder. -intj
I like INTJ’s but they really cramp my style. Every time I get an unsolicited progress report from some app I’m using, I know there is an INTJ behind it.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 why did I laugh so MUCH?
Holy SHI- I'm amazed at your understanding and ability to succintly describe these notions, Nathan. You aren't my favourite MBTI youtuber for nothing ;)
High praise indeed! I find it so alien and uncomfortable to ramble or have redundant words in the videos, I really don't know how people do it. Some people can just riff for hours, I don't think this is something I will ever be able to do when it's just me talking to the camera! Either way, extremely glad to hear that you like it ~ Nathan
A lot if people's favorite...
This is exactly it! Thanks for making us INTJs feel a little more understood
Glad you enjoyed it, we have plenty of INTJ videos on here if you haven't already seen them! ~ Nathan
I like to have fun. It’s just my idea of having fun is grinding in a video game in order to get better. Speed running animal crossing without time traveling is super fun. Nothing quite like gaining as much progress per day as you are able and unlocking everything as fast as possible. Grinding and optimization is fun!
I don't even watch video's about other mbti types, or parts thereof because that's just too much leisure for me #intj
Well I'm happy to have you here for the INTJ videos ~ Nathan
and even these intj vids are considered a waster for me...
i'm an INFP and INTJs are my favorite type!!! They're great! Whenever I'm with an INTJ long enough for both of us to come out our shells, we totally get each other!
I find their determination and "get shit done" attitude very admirable, mostly because I'm terrible at planning things out and the details that entail.
I personally enjoy their company better than Te-doms (no judgement!), probably because one, theyre introverted like me, and two, they are often very motivated by their tert Fi, which I find appealing and easier to communicate with.
The ability to take your dreams and put them into reality is so important, and INTJs seem to be ready to take on the challenge.
edit: formatting because I'm that bitch
Nathan ... I don’t think I’ve ever felt more exposed by another persons INTJ video than this one 😂😫🤬
I love you.
I really love your videos, theyre well explained and objective compared to most intj youtubers that seem just a bit extreme(Im an intp thats trying to dissect what different btw me and my intj friends) ：）
HAHA LiJo is here as well! wow!
you 2 should (set a goal) to collab LMAO
@Daniel Spajic There's a great amount of controversy regarding LiJo's type. I recommend reading this recent Reddit post I've linked below. In summary, a good number of people in the typology community believed that she fakes her type as an INTJ and in reality is an ESFP. I don't have too much of an opinion on her type. Her content quality is generally high, but I don't agree with some of her views of typology itself.
Post: www.reddit.com/r/intj/comments/k8i44q/the_business_of_the_mistyped_intjs_lead_by_lijo/
LiJo’s validation is all we need. - enfp
We do more than fix. We are also really good at listening and bringing/finding you the things you enjoy. We are really good at noticing a thing and passing along this thing to whom we know might truly enjoy it.
Bonus if the thing brings us curiosity.
Example, I was talking to a dude that interested me. He was big into DnD, I knew nothing about it but was curious. I invited him to a DnD improve, musical theatre gig. All of which, brand new experience for me and I got to see my new human in a happy place...with a strange girl who asked a million questions.
I'm am excellent human concierge.
Love the last sentence of this comment ~ Nathan
My ISFP friend coined it as an observation towards my uncanny ability to find and connect specific people...I failed to notice this was something endearing about me.
Now it is my work-in-progress as far as being less rogue-alien.
Still single AF but more friends and meaningful connections.
great🍀🍀
As an ENFP in love with an INTJ this is really helpful. It's hard to zoom out and remember the different ways we each think about/approach things
Sometimes my partner comes to me with a problem and within two minutes I'm like "Here, I have the answer for you on a silver platter. No, no please, take it. You're welcome." (I don't quite say it like that). Then when I check in a week later and they still haven't done the thing, it completely baffles me. I wonder what possible reason could they have for not using the solution that's RIGHT THERE. I'm trying to be better at discussing it with them, rather than getting frustrated. Often they have a reason that I genuinely never considered, because it's something that isn't an issue for me, but is for them. You would think by now I would stop overlooking that other people process things differently than myself, but it still trips me up.
Me a ENFP taking notes on how to spot a INTJ
Crafty ENFP... well played ~ Nathan
Love Who haha
They're pale, because they spend most of their time inside alone, plotting. They wear all black, because it's simple, classic, and choosing different colors and outfits is a waste of time. They're disgustingly honest. They know they're usually right and everyone should listen to them. When the chips are down and no one else can do the job properly, they will morph into an ENTJ and take the leadership role. Favorite phrases include: "that's wrong", "that's stupid", "no, like this", "I refuse", "actually", "trust me", "it's better this way."
@@philmstud2k You are mostly describing an immature INTJ with the comments they may make. I did that when I was 16, but when I got more life and business experience I learned to be more humble, I will never call someone stupid, everyone starts somewhere. Anger will cloud your creativity, always be positive. People will not listen when you are putting them down, its better to uplift them and show the way, also never assume that you know more than the other person, everyone you meet knows something you don't.
@@madbros5613 I agree with you! I was that arrogant before becoming 19 and after becoming a leader for some projects, I learnt to be more patient with others and never jump to conclusions that I strongly believed in too fast, and to ACCEPT that some people do things better when it's extremely close to deadlines.
"The idea of putting energy and thought into an activity that's not going to yield anything feels pointless."
YESSS, finally someone gets it
I had an INTJ confessing that he likes me, being INFP, I like relationships to flow naturally, you might or might not be more than friends, it can grow deeper or fall apart as you get to know each other better but this INTJ was quite forceful, he was determined to make me his girlfriend, and turn me into his version of an ideal girlfriend. I already take criticism personally but he would always point out my insecurities and my weaknesses, lecturing me how to be better. I find that he lacks tactness and understanding to deal with me, while I am too emotional and soft for him. When I broke things off, he sent me an essay on how I must stop being a loser and improve before jumping on my next relationship. Their need to fix their partner is taxing for me personally. Never again for this INFP.
Aw I’m sorry! I know that not all INTJs are like that. Being an INTJ, I think I am a lot more considerate and have grown more in respecting other’s emotions/feelings.. due to choosing to push myself to work with more feeler types. Some Intjs are more developed than others.. I would say you could meet another intj guy that is able to appreciate who you are and give you space for that.. if you’re meant to be with one again.
@Hannah Jones Exactly. I don't know about you, but I realise I need someone enjoys driving through scenic routes and smell the flowers with me. I always feel most at home with another INFP. When I was with the INTJ and once with an ENTJ, life always felt like a rush, too fast, too demanding, a great learning experience though. Both were obsessed with fixing me, though the ENTJ was more subtle, because he is pretty good with people being an extrovert.
i feel you. INFJ here. it's even more difficult when you realize their criticism is their form of "love." the most important thing you can do for your own self growth and the growth of others is to realize when a relationship is doing more damage than good. sometimes the best solution and the biggest act of love (even in the INTJ sense) is to know when it is best to walk away.
Lol my ideal type is ENFP/ENTJ (i want to challenge myself)
Honestly, my least ideal type is infp (sorry 🙏🏻)
-intj female
As someone who has an INTJ best friend, I get you. I think he is an INTJ but an EXTREMELY toxic one,heck pretty sure his just toxic cause you don't need to be an INTJ to be over controlling and abusive. INFP takes a LOT of time to be comfortable around people, so is INTJ, the right INTJ wouldn't immediately try to fix you cause they don't feel like your worthy enough, they also take time to get genuinely comfortable around someone.
I wanted to take the life of my INTJ friends cause we use to genuinely hate each other guts but now we're out here hanging with each other on daily bases. Don't stop dating an INTJ because of that one bad apple, from my experience their very loyal, caring and genuine people and they try to fix people they care cause that's what they do to themself (like my INTJ bff who put effort in reassuring me that we're friends after she learns I constantly have trust issue and doubt, she doesn't get why that's an issue but she does it anyway even though its a hassle cause I told her it's important to me) , they try not to be hypocritical
Relationship with an INTJ takes lots of time and effort and fixing but it's worth it in the end (took me 2 years to finally be actual friends with my INTJ buddy but I think it's a good trade for a friendship of a lifetime)
This is absolutely accurate, and as an INTJ myself I'm allocating some of my own time to tell you that I appreciate the fact that your video was short and concise.
That uses up my one comment per month limit. Goodbye
lol
Watching to make sure that he likes me ; also decided to say thank you to him for giving me advices on my big life decisions. ~ INTP
I typed as an INTJ for most of my life. I viewed people who partied and indulged in short term pleasures all the time as animalistic and mediocre because they weren’t willing to put in the effort and time to achieve their goals. Things got interesting tho after i went through a series of spiritual awakenings. I now type as an ENFP. Now people just seem like people with no dominator hierarchy. I have increased Fe and Se it seems but I still have retained my strength for strategic problem solving like a regular INTJ. Awesome video Nathan :). Very accurate from my pov.
I am ENFP who loves the differences and distinctions in every person and I would like to say that I really love your eyebrows. They are so unique, they add character to your face and they just suit you.
My brother is an intj and I'm an infp, we probably never had a day where we got along in our lives.
Intj female here. This is sooo accurate. (Long text next)
I am the older sister. Now, I am more focused in life that when I was younger.
Sometimes my advice could be "heartless" and cold, but they are not lies. I really care about my family. If you hurt them, you better run or die. But this is so true about "fixing".
I push my little sister to be a better person and she often ask for advice about people around her because I never go wrong about them. I have the abbility of "guessing" people's intentions and weaknesses. And "predict" their movements/reactions.
I had to learn how to talk to people. I am direct and harsh, so I had to take lessons about communication and other soft skills. That is my area of improving. I sucked, at least now, I don't hurt people in the moment, rather I oriented them making realize that it was their idea....
I have to get better. I had to go to therapy because of childhood traumas too.
I am a romantic soul, but I hate this hook up culture. And I think having long relayionshios just being boyfriend anda girlfriend is a waste oficina time. I want to ver married, but I rather choose an arraged marriage that dating and having "puppy love". So now, I am preparing myself to be a traditional wife: taking baking lessons, etiquette courses, dancing, personal training.
I want to have a happy and healthy family, to achieve that, I have to choose the right partner and I can't do it if I am not in my optimal health (physical and mental) condition.
So, when a close friend asked me about why I didn't have a boyfriend and I explained that I want a legacy and a family with purpose, she freaked out....
I have to keep improving my people communication skills😅
I live in an occidental country, the probabilities of having an arranged married are very low... And muy parents don't understand why I want one.
So ah least I have to improve myself and move in the social circles that a good partner could be. If I can reduce the probabilities of getting a wrong match, I will do it.👌
Im an Intj when my exe first started hitting on me ..he liked how aloof and standoffish I seemed..I was like a challenge he had to conquer ..so when I started to like him back ( which involves me spending hours with him..talking on and on abt future ideas that involve both of us ..surprising him with gifts ..writing poetry ..pushing him to apply for jobs and attend auditions and being very goofy around him )he said he didn't know me that way and he left ..people really think intjs don't have feelings and end up feeling overwhelmed when we love them its sad.
As an istp girl , this is exactly my biggest fear in relationships .
Ugh... this is so true. We open up, show our Fi we're so insecure about, only to get abandoned and ghosted. It really hurts...
@@grazynawolska8160So true
As an advanced INTJ I've already learned to split the difference between those, who seek an advice, and those, who come to gush about their problems.
Nathan asking INTJs to subscribe, since they have already watched the entire video makes me laugh 😂
I see life pointless sometimes. Like that 'fun' you talked about. Like it comes from nothing and goes to nothing. All of the life time we sacrifice to gain something that will keeps us to be afraid to die in the end...It hunts me :(
Same. No one talks about it. Distractions inbetween total oblivion. Life is pointless in a way (doesn't have to be a bad thing) so you need to come up with sth yourself. This thought isn't always this present to me, but there are periods where I'm very conscious of it, and it's bizzare and depressing to walk around society, with this in mind: Lifes that are so caught up in societies distractions, making up meanings for themselves.
I'm not sure how many people think about this/ talk about this, but I haven't had one conversation about this. It's hard to bring this up, when all the people just seem to be very interested in drama, and as an INTP I kind of have a hard time with people and also with expressing my own thoughts. So I'm kind of alone, not knowing what to do with these thoughts, not being able to relate to others and vice versa... so I came here, and am glad to see similar concerns.
I adore the INTJ, much love
-INTP
It is objectively pointless/meaningless, but since that only leaves one with subjective meaning,,, well, paradoxical ambition makes sense within a senseless framework, so any meaning of it all is tacitly ignored.
And then it's over, or maybe I should say back to normal, since we were all dead for billions of years before we were born (and note: it didn't bother us the least).
If it makes you feel better, consider life as the beeping of a slumbering alarm clock. Whether it feels good the moment you can ignore it, or just good to ignore because you know it made no sense wake up in the first place, you'll soon be back to sleep no matter how you slumber.
INFP here and I adore INTJ’s so much. Such a fascinating type with beautiful minds. I wish I could listen to them talk about their passions thoughts and ideas for hours
The more I learn about INTJs the more I understand and adore my sweet INTJ boyfriend (INFP here)
As an INTJ I learned that people that rant to me about their personal problems don't actually want to hear a solution, they just want to rant.
I hate it. I don't understand that. When I go to someone and open up about something, I'm expecting some advices. Because as a good INTJ that I am, I'm also after the benefits of opening up, outside of just opening up.
If I notice someone is only using my time to run in circle I cut contact.
@@minir.3182 Same. Like, why even bother telling me your problems if you don't want advice? Don't waste my time hearing out your issues if you don't want a solution. I know that sounds unfeeling, but if I didn't care about you, I wouldn't bother with you at all. Keep that stuff to yourself if you don't want my take and let's go do something entertaining.
I like you so I shall comment to boost the algorithm,
Much appreciated, I shall reply for the same reason ~ Nathan
@@lovewho I shall like for the same reason
I rarely comment in public forums but I adore you and you’re so insightful when it comes to this personality type. It feels like I’m finally understood by someone. Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much I really appreciate this! ~ Nathan
I had to get my INTJ partner of 15 years to watch this. A 3 min long video turned in 15 mins of listening to him go on about the topics in the video. lol
When my hubby met me as a 22 yr old INFP, he tried to improve me in every way he thought I needed. When I was a young INFP man, who was exploring the world for myself for the first time, it was a bit much hearing everything he felt I did wrong or could improve upon. From the music I listen to, to where I was going in my life. In one way it felt like he was sharing his knowledge with me and trying to make me the best person I could be. In another if felt as if he was trying to mold me into what he wanted me to be. He just didn't know what was me and what could change. It took its toll on my self esteem. There was more going on than just that, but it all came together and wore me down, made me frustration and out right furious. I had to learn to take his input and tell him when to back off. That was a lesson he needed to learn for himself, too. When is his advice is wanted and when it's best to back off. With other people I still see him push his opinion of what someone should do and I have to tell him to back off a bit. At the end of the day, if every personality took some INTJ advice, they would be a lot better for it.
The real issue with trying to improve someone is the hypocrisy in it. Like you said, an INTJ knows they can improve, but they only know how to improve in their own way and when they can't see the value in someone's advice, well how do you expect anyone to see the value in yours? It's give and take, especially in a relationship. It took awhile for my partner to see the value in heeding my advice and applying it to his life. Him being older and me being younger didn't help matters, but if he could tell every INTJ, the benefits of opening their minds, he would. Just like I would tell every INFP we could do the same.
Despite the hard road we travelled the first few years of being together, I couldn't imagine my life without him. We made each other better people. He's able to see my talents and push me into a direction. I have two businesses I am working on solely because he pushed me and gave me direction. I have a 1000 ideas and there's nothing like the laser focus of an INTJ to make those ideas come to fruition.
Amazing comment, thank you very much for taking the time to leave it! Hopefully he enjoyed the video! ~ Nathan
@@lovewho He loved it
"Work is more fun than.... fun"
I've never felt so understood😭
Well, work is more fun if it's more fun. 👍
I don't get it --INFP
Married to an INTJ and this is so spot on! 😂 Thank you!
Yuo deserve more than one Like...
Intj.
Thank you, you deserve more than one reply ~ Nathan
Yes you're both right
@@lovewho for saint True, it would be worthy also reflect a sexual side if Intj... Of shadow Queens...so, Nathan, i extremly looking forward for opinion of masculine intp type about intj female sexuality.
When you watch this video and that wasn't literally a waste of time....
High praise indeed ~ Nathan
Wow, I'm an INTJ. This is very accurate. He really understands the INTJ mind
Yea, very true about wanting someone to improve in areas lacking. The gag is, I want them to be intuitive enough to do it on their own without telling them to do anything because I don’t want to boss anyone around. Sure I communicate needs but, if not met, I’ll feel the need to move on and work on myself and or find someone else who can do it better. The ultimate goal for at least myself is, find the one to grow old with, be happy and live a balanced life. But aren’t we all?
Great comment, very well said indeed ~ Nathan
You are spot on about the INTJ.
Also: I was waiting for this call to action to follow with the note - if you want - and here it is :)
For those who don't like being told what to do - it's giving them a choice which is a form of showing respect. Thanks for that :)
I think this is the very best INTJ video I’ve seen. Thank you. I feel validated.
an INTj loves me and I love him.
Beautiful ~ Nathan
So would an ESTP
I like your videos very much, Nathan. Definitely worth my time. 🙂
Gratefully,
-- an INTJ
Thank you very much! ~ Nathan
The classic workaholics (although it should be workics; they're not addicted to workahol). My INTJ brother-in-law does not know how to "play." He works when he goes on vacation. OTOH, as an INTP, for me, not working comes naturally.
(INTP... For context, sake) I enjoyed this video, as I do all your other work. The more I watch this channel, the more I encourage my friends and aquaintences to take the M-B test and immediately report back to me, their findings. This way I can gain insight about how to deal with these people in any number of scenarios in the future. I'm not kidding. Keep it up Nathan and Lu. Fantastic content.
As an Infj I can see why I can go along very well with intjs. At least theoretically. I could never go along with a jerk intj :D
Those two get along great, until the INTJ hurts the INFJ's feelings and the INFJ slams the door in the INTJ's face. What's up with all the door slamming, my sweet little INFJ's
@@JoseRodriguez-pj4dp true story. Twice ; )
@@sarabovo2151 if you ever want to try an ESTP. Ebe0421@gmail.com
We INTJs pretty much all start out as assholes and learn to relate to others through hard lessons. Eventually we may become relatable human beings!
(INFP) This description laid out the framework of my relationship with an INTJ I once had to a degree of uncomfortable accuracy.
"Uncomfortable accuracy" is always my aim! ~ Nathan
You know, I was surprised when I first time watched you. Never felt more understood. I even come here to test my theory. Thanks for your willingness to provide best content. -INTJ.
I really like this video... it sort of assumes an INTJ audience, but it also sort of assumes an audience of people who would very much like to be liked by an INTJ. I am a proud ENFP in love with an extreme INTJ, and I've found some articles on why INTJs and ENFPs are a good match. The only thing more fun than work is... ME! My INTJ sweetheart agrees. I might like more information on the INTJ-ENFP match.
INTJ here and yes: I spent a lot of my time watching your videos, so you know that I genuinely like your content! (The accuracy in the way you exposed me of being responsible of wanting to improve people once I grow attached to them...)
It's always great to hear that the videos are accurate, thank you for this comment! ~ Nathan
The simple fact that people arround me operate in a different layout was a chock to me.
Why this explaination is it so close to the Core behaviour of INTJs if MBTI is wrong.
Another strike right in the heart well done !!!
Glad you liked the video! ~ Nathan
So...
Should I hate or thank you for revealing to my crush that I like her?
When people start talking about their struggles, I ask them some easy questions and they might get surprised they had just spelled the solutions to their problems by answering them. If they abide, it makes me happy I end up engaging in work that out with them. If they keep making excuses, I either walk away slowly or just change the subject... I have my struggles and work hard to fix them. I just don't like insisting with people to fix their own perceived issues.
As an INTJ, I have to say, sometimes it's better not to waste time "fixing" something that works, especially if there is nothing apparent that is wrong with it.
I'm rewatching all of your INTJ videos and I decided to comment just to thank you for this one. Sometimes I feel bad about all that 'fixing-goal-setting' stuff and I know I do do that only if I care enough about someone to bother to do that at all and i KNOW that people often are angry I try to lecture them. But in one of your other INTJ-videos you mentioned 'social skills is something an intj needs to aquire' - and I realised that the thing I've always missed was telling the person I really care about... that I give them advises because I want them to be happy, not because I think they're somehow incompetent. When I grew older I realised that... well. Most of the things I had told people in the past was right but lots of times I had used the wrong words and sometimes the only thing you need to not be seen as a smart ass bitch is to add "I'm not judging you. I care about you and I want you to be happy/succeed. If you need help, I'll help you, if you want to ask something, do that". When I was younger I thought it was obvious but it seems it wasn't obvious at all since most of people arent' INTJ xD On the other side - I tend to get angry and dissapointed when someone gives me advise and doesn't care at all if I follow it (or if I'm even able to do do what they told me to do...)
😘👍
LOL! This is me. I wrote my crush a letter detailing career advice and homeopathic health information. Truly romantic.
Brings a tear to my eye ~ Nathan
Please I want an INTJ so bad
😩
"To the INTJs watching: you've already given me your time, so I'll assume you like me"
Well, tbh I watch TH-cam when I'm working out 😅 but I like you, I subbed.
My INTJ is so precious, I can be such an moment ruining asshole but she still keeps me around and gets my humor, she even made me a necklace herself I try my best to treat her right. She's like... every good thing in the world. -ENTP
This was just so wholesome and adorable to read... - intj
May you make a video compares between ENTJ and ESTJ please?
Plus great video!!!
That's a great suggestion, I will add it to the list ~ Nathan
New subscriber here! You had me at... "Or just lurk in the shadows." 💕
Yes, true, but.. where do I find fellow INTJ's to work with toward shared goals?? And how do I avoid those people who put high value on that "fun" stuff...?
Find some CEO - he is ENTJ, which is close enough. Both strategic, future-oriented, working like hell on the goals. Also, all the 4 basic cognitive functions are the same, just in slightly different order.
I have never found another INTJ anywhere but online and I'd like to keep it that way. One of me in a room is enough.
@@brownin329 ah, that's too bad! My husband and I are both INTJs, as well as my best friend. Best relationships I've ever had! It's nice to do an activity together, and not have to talk or explain yourself -or even entertain them!
My best friend is an INTJ and I have to say she has done all of these!
And also I have an INTJ brother and just by the things he says I can figure all these...
This never ceases to excite me and make my day no matter how many times I watch it!!!
- an ENFP with stars in her eyes out of happiness!!
Married to an intj, we spend quality time almost every night unless he is too tired from work, then he'll pass out.
What a discernment you have on INTJs. I finally hit that subscribe button ~!
Point 3 really resonates. The thought of a day out at Thorpe Park or Alton Towers theme park just seems to zap my energy even thinking about it. Fixing up a boat and sailing / cruising around the world seems more appealing.
Weird innit - all the expense and effort to fix up a boat to essentially roam the seas with no clear goal really inspires me, yet I can’t be bothered to spend a single day at a theme park. The paradox of being an INTJ....
Fixing up a boat and cruising around the world....Totally in for that
I don't think it's a paradox. For one, theme parks aren't fun unless they're at least half empty. Two, the boat scenario has multiple purposes: fixing something for future use, learning new sailing techniques and finally, leisure time. Sailing is more purposeful, therefore more attractive.
Well. That's not so weird. I mean, you're just having a hard time articulating what you intuitively see:
The sailing takes you away from the zombie apocalypse; the theme park puts you right in the middle of it.
The first point is indeed a very poignant issue...When I was younger, as a intj, I almost applied these on almost every person I met. I approach them with all good wishes but got a feedback of eye rolls, to say the least. But I eventually recognized how this manner is officious and realized thinking isn’t enough if I can’t feel for that person with the very panorama of her awareness/consciousness - similar to the idea in this saying “people don’t care what you think if they don’t think you care about them”. Costly to learn.