Bro I’m a newbie here. Learnt more in this one video/ post whatever the terminology is, than hours with, let’s just say others. Easy to understand, great advice, well delivered, great job. New subscriber.
What do you do when they annoy and yell at everyone and make it everyone’s problem that they don’t wanna do things like getting dressed, bathing, brushing teeth?
It sounds like you need some support with scaffolding to improve behavior at home. This is covered in my series, Scaffolding Better Behavior & Self-Confidence, available at the ADHD Dude Membership Site.
@@ADHDDude : Can you please begin to include hyperlinks to specific pages that you reference in your comment responses? It would be a tremendous convenience/help to us subscribers of your Membership Site.
Yes I'd love to know how to get him to do simple things like dressing him. His shoes and socks not being perfect..... brushing teeth. It's literally almost impossible to have a peaceful morning. Everyone's life is struggeling because of this
I need help so bad!! I have a 15 yr old teen girl. I’ll start with the parent behavior training. I need to get educated and want the best for my daughter. This piece I just listened to was very helpful.
Omg! I'm realizing point #2 bc my 9yr old calls me for everything and I just started reminding him that he can do "that" himself... like get something to drink.
I feel like I'm enabling him by making my 13 year old breakfast but I'm the one that knows he needs a healthy breakfast whereas he will completely skip it if I don't...which is NOT okay by my husband or myself. Do you have suggestions on this? If I make it, he eats it. Which is worth it to me if needed, but maybe you have suggestions on how to move towards him making his own. I'm not talking cereal here. I'm talking protein. Eggs, Sausage or even yogurt and granola. He sees it as too much work even though he's capable.
We don’t remember when we’ve succeeded because we aren’t MADE aware. When things go right, we barely ever notice. When things go wrong, we notice EVERY TIME because we are made aware and now we have to fix it. So it’ll imprint more than any succession just because of how long it had space in your head.
Excellent point, thank you for sharing, just keep in mind that everyone's experience is unique. ADHD is not a "one size fits all" so your experience is not representative of all people with ADHD and vice-versa.
If it's an executive function delay, hiw in the world do drugs help to improve that? What prescription drugs are you referring to that are needed for ADHD?
The part regarding overdependency is very tricky to me. I'm a father of a 4 year olds girl and I feel very divided between the acknowledgement that she lacks executive control to deal with the lack of motivation for doing boring ordinary taks like brushing her teeths and the realization that she will "freeze" in front of her tasks and will demand help, in one hand, and the goal of not making her codependent on the other. Often she is stubborn and want us to do things for her and we insist in not helping her at all in a task she is perfectly capable of doing (and do most of the days), but the result is always catastrophic. Thanks for the great content! Getting very important knowledge from your videos.
Thanks Arthur, and to put this in context - with any of my content I do suggest adjusting it by age. That being said, I don't focus on her age only because I don't have much experience with that age group.
Your daughter is only 4, it’s ok to help her with a lot of things. I also have a daughter that age and older boys. My kids usually started doing everything themselves between 5-6 years old. I bet that she just feels loved when you help and needs your attention and that’s why she asks you to do it for her. Maybe these could be bonding moments for you and your daughter.
This describes my attitude as a kid perfectly. I could do tasks which I was really interested in without sleep or eating, but mundane tasks like cleaning the floor felt like something unfathomable. By the way at 32, I still feel the same way. Overdependency is a whole another ball game. I can write another comment on this topic, but I have to collect my wits about me.
The “don’t do things for them that they can do themselves” 😫 Like I know…. I know I shouldn’t get my 8 year old daughter a drink from the kitchen or hand her something she can’t reach at the moment or freakin dress her in the morning but I struggle with adhd as well. Like really bad… (I feel like we all think our ADHD is the worst 😂) But if I were to not get her the juice box from the fridge then I have to deal with the tantrum or arguing or whatever manipulation she’s in the mood for and sometimes I literally just can’t…. Like I can’t. I definitely going to be looking into the parent behavioral training…. I feel like Im setting her up for complete failure and I’m like the worst mom ever bc I can’t control my own emotions and sensory issues enough to make sure MY CHILD is going to grow up to be a happy and independent woman who loves her self… uggggghjjdkwnjdkfjfneifnfkskjsg
In Scaffolding Better Behavior I teach parents how to reduce parental accommodation which is what you're describing and not respond to emotional manipulation.
My 10 year old son have ADHD and I'm feeling like I dont know how to help him. He don't listen and he's very defensive and think he's always right. He was suspended from school and now lives with my sister 4 hours away to attend school. I want him home with me but I don't know how to help him behave.😢
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommended treatment for ADHD is Parent Training (provided through the ADHD Dude Membership SIte) in conjunction with medication management. Therapy is not a recommended treatment for kids with ADHD and no type of talk therapy has demonstrated efficacy in addressing ADHD-related challenges. Read the evidence here: www.effectivechildtherapy.org
If I ask my son to keep the dishes inside he picks up multiple in one palm and keepa dropping them. He thinks it isn't a big deal if the spoons drop on the floor. He thinks it's efficient use of time to take everything together🙄 he will make sure he does every work so bad that it is three times more work for us cleaning up after him
If he is genuinely doing things wrong so it creates more work for you then it's time to step into your parental authority and take back control in your home. These behaviors will not serve him well as he gets older, and will create more stress for your family if this does not change now.
I am just so confused … I homeschool my daughter but she only wants to game so wondering if I should put her in public school so she does something different and be with her peers
I couldn't answer that in a TH-cam comment, or without knowing the child's age but I cover this comprehensively in the Scaffolding Better Behavior webinar series.
@@ADHDDude : Can you please begin to include hyperlinks to specific pages that you reference in your comment responses? It would be a tremendous convenience/help to us subscribers of your Membership Site.
Cognitive Behavior therapy which is the go-to treatment for anxiety has demonstrated effectiveness for older teens and adults with ADHD, not kids. I would never tell anybody not to try it, however most of the families who I've spoken with have not found CBT to be helpful. What I find produces better results is teaching parents not to accommodate anxiety. For that I recommend SPACE. I have an interview with the creator of it here, Dr Eli Leibowitz.
Is your kid ok with their own actions? Do they like acting stupid and not understanding why? Would they rather have some way to help control obnoxious behavior? I know I did.
Hi, very informative video, thank you for your help. I really would like to know your thoughts on sports and adhd, more specifically on swimming. Can it help kids learn discipline, focus better? Thank you!
Nothing will help kids focus better except medication and brain maturity. What will help improve behavior is parents chaning how they do things which is why Parent Training is the evidenced-based treatment for kids with ADHD. As for swimming, I definitely recommend it for a multitude of reasons.
I've never heard of "ADHD group therapy", regardless group therapy is not a recommended treatment for kids with ADHD. Ther American Academy of Pediatrics recommended treatment is parent training (provided through the membership site) in conjunction with medication management. www.adhddudecourses.com is the parent training membership site.
I have checked various of your videos, my boy was diagnose with ADD, my boy is t very flexible on social situations, he call himself socially awkward, he completely block himself on situation that are not as stimulating for him. It made social live quiet difficulty, how can I help him being more flexible on situations that he is not to happy on?
What is it that the medication is supposed to do? I don't want to put my child on pharmaceutical drugs nor can I afford them. Surely there must be a dietic or holistic alternative
You can watch my video that came out yesterday and I strongly recommend you do your own research on this topic. The long-term outcomes for people with ADHD who go unmedicated are not good.
The fact that you just said, “individual therapy isn’t recommended ADHD.” is baffling. Clinical practice guidelines recommend a combination of pharmacotherapy and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for treating children and adolescents with ADHD. If you had to pick one or the other, CBT has better result long-term that pharmacotherapy on its own
Actually it's not "baffling", you're just not familiar with the evidence-based clinical guidelines at all, or the American Academy of Pediatrics ADHD treatment recommendations, which are also based on evidence. Know what you're talking about before leaving a negative comment next time. Read the evidence here: www.effectivechildtherapy.org
Thank you, the individual who left that comment is uneducated about the misinformation their sharing. You are correct - there is evidence that CBT can work well for adults and older teens as well.
That's understandable, have you done any of the research on the safety of ADHD medications? I would also strongly suggest you do some research on the long-term outcomes of people with ADHD who go unmedicated. The data is not good for people who unmedicated, the most concerning is it doubles their chances of developing a substance abuse problem. I follow the American Academy of Pediatrics treatment and recommendations which are medication management, in conjunction with parent training (which I provide through the ADHD Dude membership site.)
I totally relate. I realised that I was doing my kids more harm not putting them on meds. It's day one for us and I catch myself sobbing from time to time cuz I could've helped them sooner. They're homeschooled and for the first time the day is not as hectic as usual. Also in them getting diagnosed I too realised at the age of 33 that I've been living with ADHD untreated. Everything makes sense now. I'm starting my treatment soon. Mom of 2boys from south Africa❤️
I also struggled until my son was in fourth grade and I have regretted waiting ever since! He really needed that help chemically for his brain to focus better and I have seen the difference over the last 5 years! try it and you can always stop if it's not working, but dont wait.
Night and day difference! Once you see them function on medication you'll kick yourself for not medicating earlier. I cried this first couple of weeks because I could see such a difference and how settled and engaged my child was. I was in the same camp and it's has changed my child's life, friends, family, school, coaches all notice.
www.adhddudecourses.com My Parent Behavior Training program is called Scaffolding Better Behavior & Self-Confidence. You also get access to all of my other webinar series as well.
I wish I would have known about parent behavior training and thank you for all that you do for this community
Thank you :)
Bro I’m a newbie here. Learnt more in this one video/ post whatever the terminology is, than hours with, let’s just say others. Easy to understand, great advice, well delivered, great job. New subscriber.
What do you do when they annoy and yell at everyone and make it everyone’s problem that they don’t wanna do things like getting dressed, bathing, brushing teeth?
It sounds like you need some support with scaffolding to improve behavior at home. This is covered in my series, Scaffolding Better Behavior & Self-Confidence, available at the ADHD Dude Membership Site.
@@ADHDDude : Can you please begin to include hyperlinks to specific pages that you reference in your comment responses? It would be a tremendous convenience/help to us subscribers of your Membership Site.
@@ADHDDude ⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸y⁷⁸⁸
I have one like this. It's very frustrating.
Yes I'd love to know how to get him to do simple things like dressing him. His shoes and socks not being perfect..... brushing teeth. It's literally almost impossible to have a peaceful morning. Everyone's life is struggeling because of this
I need help so bad!! I have a 15 yr old teen girl. I’ll start with the parent behavior training. I need to get educated and want the best for my daughter. This piece I just listened to was very helpful.
I'd suggest starting with my "Start Here" playlist here at the channel. Thanks
Omg! I'm realizing point #2 bc my 9yr old calls me for everything and I just started reminding him that he can do "that" himself... like get something to drink.
Keep doing what you're doing, the more he realizes he can do for himself, the more confident he'll become.
@@ADHDDude Ok.. thank you. I'm going to check out your membership
The most helpful and useful channed about ADHD I ever have seen
Me too
I dont know how many times, as a kid, I told my mom I didn't know how to use the dishwasher and it worked lol
Exactly to my point! :)
I feel like I'm enabling him by making my 13 year old breakfast but I'm the one that knows he needs a healthy breakfast whereas he will completely skip it if I don't...which is NOT okay by my husband or myself. Do you have suggestions on this? If I make it, he eats it. Which is worth it to me if needed, but maybe you have suggestions on how to move towards him making his own. I'm not talking cereal here. I'm talking protein. Eggs, Sausage or even yogurt and granola. He sees it as too much work even though he's capable.
We don’t remember when we’ve succeeded because we aren’t MADE aware. When things go right, we barely ever notice. When things go wrong, we notice EVERY TIME because we are made aware and now we have to fix it. So it’ll imprint more than any succession just because of how long it had space in your head.
Excellent point, thank you for sharing, just keep in mind that everyone's experience is unique. ADHD is not a "one size fits all" so your experience is not representative of all people with ADHD and vice-versa.
This is so helpful !
You're welcome. I’m glad it was helpful.
If it's an executive function delay, hiw in the world do drugs help to improve that? What prescription drugs are you referring to that are needed for ADHD?
GOOD JOB! That last one really hit home!!!
Thanks, apppreciate it
Thank you for your depth and candor. So rare these days. So much snake oil and gimmicks.
Thank you so much, and yes there is quite a lot of snake oil and gimmicks out there thanks to social media!
The part regarding overdependency is very tricky to me. I'm a father of a 4 year olds girl and I feel very divided between the acknowledgement that she lacks executive control to deal with the lack of motivation for doing boring ordinary taks like brushing her teeths and the realization that she will "freeze" in front of her tasks and will demand help, in one hand, and the goal of not making her codependent on the other. Often she is stubborn and want us to do things for her and we insist in not helping her at all in a task she is perfectly capable of doing (and do most of the days), but the result is always catastrophic. Thanks for the great content! Getting very important knowledge from your videos.
Thanks Arthur, and to put this in context - with any of my content I do suggest adjusting it by age. That being said, I don't focus on her age only because I don't have much experience with that age group.
@@ADHDDude Thanks for the kind and quick reply!
Your daughter is only 4, it’s ok to help her with a lot of things. I also have a daughter that age and older boys. My kids usually started doing everything themselves between 5-6 years old. I bet that she just feels loved when you help and needs your attention and that’s why she asks you to do it for her. Maybe these could be bonding moments for you and your daughter.
This describes my attitude as a kid perfectly. I could do tasks which I was really interested in without sleep or eating, but mundane tasks like cleaning the floor felt like something unfathomable. By the way at 32, I still feel the same way. Overdependency is a whole another ball game. I can write another comment on this topic, but I have to collect my wits about me.
What about teacher management training? A father or mother is only with their child so many hours in a day depending on work schedule.
That's something that school administration needs to decide is worthwhile.
Excellent advise, thank you so much.
Glad it was helpful!
Fantastic video as always! Thank you!
Thank you!
This is good shit.
Thanks Corey!
Also what if I am divergent myself ( parent) but never been raised as such … I am missing huge amount of social skills myself
You can improve them at any age. Please check out the book: When good intentions aren't enough by Michelle Garcia Winner
keep up the good work Ryan
Thank you Simon!
The “don’t do things for them that they can do themselves” 😫
Like I know…. I know I shouldn’t get my 8 year old daughter a drink from the kitchen or hand her something she can’t reach at the moment or freakin dress her in the morning but I struggle with adhd as well. Like really bad… (I feel like we all think our ADHD is the worst 😂)
But if I were to not get her the juice box from the fridge then I have to deal with the tantrum or arguing or whatever manipulation she’s in the mood for and sometimes I literally just can’t…. Like I can’t. I definitely going to be looking into the parent behavioral training…. I feel like Im setting her up for complete failure and I’m like the worst mom ever bc I can’t control my own emotions and sensory issues enough to make sure MY CHILD is going to grow up to be a happy and independent woman who loves her self… uggggghjjdkwnjdkfjfneifnfkskjsg
In Scaffolding Better Behavior I teach parents how to reduce parental accommodation which is what you're describing and not respond to emotional manipulation.
Same here
Are you me? Seriously
My 10 year old son have ADHD and I'm feeling like I dont know how to help him. He don't listen and he's very defensive and think he's always right. He was suspended from school and now lives with my sister 4 hours away to attend school. I want him home with me but I don't know how to help him behave.😢
maybe therapy or medication works
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommended treatment for ADHD is Parent Training (provided through the ADHD Dude Membership SIte) in conjunction with medication management. Therapy is not a recommended treatment for kids with ADHD and no type of talk therapy has demonstrated efficacy in addressing ADHD-related challenges. Read the evidence here: www.effectivechildtherapy.org
If I ask my son to keep the dishes inside he picks up multiple in one palm and keepa dropping them. He thinks it isn't a big deal if the spoons drop on the floor. He thinks it's efficient use of time to take everything together🙄 he will make sure he does every work so bad that it is three times more work for us cleaning up after him
If he is genuinely doing things wrong so it creates more work for you then it's time to step into your parental authority and take back control in your home. These behaviors will not serve him well as he gets older, and will create more stress for your family if this does not change now.
@@ADHDDude 👍seems like a long journey🙄
How do I find parent training in UK?
www.adhddude.com we have members from all over the world
I am just so confused … I homeschool my daughter but she only wants to game so wondering if I should put her in public school so she does something different and be with her peers
That's what I would strongly recommend.
How can I find parent behaviour training? I live in Canada
www.adhdudecourses.com
What should parents do “in the moment” when I child is having big emotions and verbally and/or physically lashing out?
I couldn't answer that in a TH-cam comment, or without knowing the child's age but I cover this comprehensively in the Scaffolding Better Behavior webinar series.
@@ADHDDude : Can you please begin to include hyperlinks to specific pages that you reference in your comment responses? It would be a tremendous convenience/help to us subscribers of your Membership Site.
What if they have a dual diagnosis of ADHD and anxiety? Would therapy be helpful for the anxiety at least?
Cognitive Behavior therapy which is the go-to treatment for anxiety has demonstrated effectiveness for older teens and adults with ADHD, not kids. I would never tell anybody not to try it, however most of the families who I've spoken with have not found CBT to be helpful. What I find produces better results is teaching parents not to accommodate anxiety. For that I recommend SPACE. I have an interview with the creator of it here, Dr Eli Leibowitz.
What about parents who don’t want to medicate.
I would tell them to read the long-term research data on people with ADHD who go unmedicated.
Is your kid ok with their own actions? Do they like acting stupid and not understanding why? Would they rather have some way to help control obnoxious behavior?
I know I did.
Please post these studies because I am only seeing the negatives of medication long term.
Go to the Facebook ADHD Dude page and type in "unmedicated" you'll see posts with the link to the studies.
hi mr Ryan question sir are all ADHD meds for an 7 year old kid be taken after food or before food ?
I'm not a licensed medical professional and cannot give medical advice. Please speak with the prescribing physician about it.
Hi, very informative video, thank you for your help. I really would like to know your thoughts on sports and adhd, more specifically on swimming. Can it help kids learn discipline, focus better? Thank you!
Nothing will help kids focus better except medication and brain maturity. What will help improve behavior is parents chaning how they do things which is why Parent Training is the evidenced-based treatment for kids with ADHD. As for swimming, I definitely recommend it for a multitude of reasons.
is special education a good option for a student taking math his in a regular class and is an iep
Sorry I'm not exactly sure what you're asking
If you have an IEP you are already in special Ed…
How would I do this if I co parent for my daughter? Who also has apd.
Not sure what you're asking, sorry
Thoughts on OT for ADHD?
Someone doesn't need OT solely because they have ADHD. That would depend on the reason for OT.
I'm coaching kids sir ty for your feedback I appreciate you 🎉
I appreciate what you're doing, thanks
How do I find a local adhd group therapy for my 9th grader boy?
I've never heard of "ADHD group therapy", regardless group therapy is not a recommended treatment for kids with ADHD. Ther American Academy of Pediatrics recommended treatment is parent training (provided through the membership site) in conjunction with medication management. www.adhddudecourses.com is the parent training membership site.
I have checked various of your videos, my boy was diagnose with ADD, my boy is t very flexible on social situations, he call himself socially awkward, he completely block himself on situation that are not as stimulating for him. It made social live quiet difficulty, how can I help him being more flexible on situations that he is not to happy on?
Hi, I'm not exactly sure of what you're asking.
What is it that the medication is supposed to do? I don't want to put my child on pharmaceutical drugs nor can I afford them. Surely there must be a dietic or holistic alternative
You can watch my video that came out yesterday and I strongly recommend you do your own research on this topic. The long-term outcomes for people with ADHD who go unmedicated are not good.
How do you handle medication when there are only 1 that comes in a liquid
I'm not sure what you're asking.
The fact that you just said, “individual therapy isn’t recommended ADHD.” is baffling. Clinical practice guidelines recommend a combination of pharmacotherapy and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for treating children and adolescents with ADHD.
If you had to pick one or the other, CBT has better result long-term that pharmacotherapy on its own
Actually CBT is better used with adults with ADHD not children
Actually it's not "baffling", you're just not familiar with the evidence-based clinical guidelines at all, or the American Academy of Pediatrics ADHD treatment recommendations, which are also based on evidence. Know what you're talking about before leaving a negative comment next time. Read the evidence here: www.effectivechildtherapy.org
Thank you, the individual who left that comment is uneducated about the misinformation their sharing. You are correct - there is evidence that CBT can work well for adults and older teens as well.
Struggling w putting my child on meds. 😢
That's understandable, have you done any of the research on the safety of ADHD medications? I would also strongly suggest you do some research on the long-term outcomes of people with ADHD who go unmedicated. The data is not good for people who unmedicated, the most concerning is it doubles their chances of developing a substance abuse problem. I follow the American Academy of Pediatrics treatment and recommendations which are medication management, in conjunction with parent training (which I provide through the ADHD Dude membership site.)
I totally relate. I realised that I was doing my kids more harm not putting them on meds. It's day one for us and I catch myself sobbing from time to time cuz I could've helped them sooner. They're homeschooled and for the first time the day is not as hectic as usual.
Also in them getting diagnosed I too realised at the age of 33 that I've been living with ADHD untreated. Everything makes sense now. I'm starting my treatment soon.
Mom of 2boys from south Africa❤️
I also struggled until my son was in fourth grade and I have regretted waiting ever since! He really needed that help chemically for his brain to focus better and I have seen the difference over the last 5 years! try it and you can always stop if it's not working, but dont wait.
Night and day difference! Once you see them function on medication you'll kick yourself for not medicating earlier. I cried this first couple of weeks because I could see such a difference and how settled and engaged my child was. I was in the same camp and it's has changed my child's life, friends, family, school, coaches all notice.
Where can we cget parent behavior training?
www.adhddudecourses.com My Parent Behavior Training program is called Scaffolding Better Behavior & Self-Confidence. You also get access to all of my other webinar series as well.
Can I join your site I'm in London thanks
Absolutely, there's people from all over the world who are members. You can learn more at: www.adhddudecourses.com Thank you for asking!
Thank you
or grandson just started his so he takes half of a small pill
Thoughts on homeopathic Brilla?
My thoughts are if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is :)