Top 5 Symptoms of Mother Enmeshment in adulthood ( Covert Incest, Emotional Incest )

Hi everyone, In this video I will break down the top 5 effects of growing up in an enmeshed relationship with your parent.
Here are the top 5 ways mother enmeshment affects you in your adulthood.
1) Mental Health Issues aka personality disorders like borderline personality disorder, or bipolar personality disorder
2) Self esteem issues because of lack of identity and years of being humiliated by the enmeshing parent.
3) Boundary issues and this is huge one with those who suffered enmeshment because they grew up in an environment where their boundaries were violated 24/7 - 365 by their own parent or parents in some cases.
4) Unstable adult relationships because of the instability they encountered during their childhood.
5) Victim mentality- When an enmeshed parent refuses to take responsibility for their actions and enmeshing behaviors , not only is the child walking around with a confused state of mind , almost like in a fog, like I said earlier, but it also teaches the child to be just like them and walk with a victim mentality that’s filled with shame. This is especially true if there is elements of parentification involved in the child-parent relationship.

[@johnmills3163]

Very good ! ... Those are 5 top symptoms alright !
The selfishness shown by the parent to the child is huge, and is so wrong ! Very damaging !

[@jomymatthews]

True. And there is also the "neglect" part, which is also abusive. Thank you!

[@gojiberry7201]

Boundaries violated 24/7, 365 -- this really rings true for me.
I relate to ALL of it, actually, but yes, I also ended up in a friendship with a pathological narcissist after being enmeshed with my mom. So you definitely repeat the patterns.
Thank you for your video! Very well put together.

[@jomymatthews]

Yea, I am sorry for what you've been through. Both narcissism and enmeshment are truly hard to identify sometime when you are in it. So knowing the "problem" or the "patterns itself subsequently is sometimes a BIG step towards healing! Thank you so much for the kind words !

[@Vid7872]

Allergies. Mothers like to handicap their boys with allergies so they never participate in competitive sports and are terrorized by peanuts and ambient air. It stops them from group/vacation activities like sailing, scuba diving, hiking. I wouldn't be surprised if they suffer panic attacks and have trouble flying.
The best part is, no woman dreams of a husband crippled with allergies and anxieties so mommy will never be replaced.

[@jomymatthews]

The psychosomatic aspect of this type of abuse cannot be minimized. Very true. Appreciate your comment.

[@TS-wj4uh]

I can so relate to what you are saying.For 30 years
I am married to a man who had enmeshed relationship with his mother. She had 9 kids and said my husband is her ' favourite child'.She completely controlled and manipulated him all her life...despised me and our son...feigned illness to get his attention and asked him to come running to her at the drop of the hat whenever she wanted.Had firm control on his finances. After her passing away that place was taken by husband 's sister...Now sister controls his life, emotionally blackmails him,gives him validation for his wrong behaviour and in return he gives her validation and monetary help. Needless to mention,my family life has been hell.My husband shows extreme narcissistic behaviour.Justifies each and every action of his by blame shifting.Refuses to get therapy.
thanks for this video.Could you help regarding how can I make him realise how he is being used in these enmeshed relationships,that has totally ruined our own family life?

[@helenafagerstrom8970]

My mother definately suffers from victim mentality. My father is a workaholic and extremely emotionally absent/distant when it comes to family life. I've managed to overcome the enmeshment, but my older brother.is definately enmeshed with my mother. He has never married, is now 58 years old and has recently moved back home to care for our mother who has become ill with cancer. It's truly quite sad!

[@jomymatthews]

Great to hear you've overcome enmeshment, Helena! Yes, enmeshment is a suffocating feeling and so difficult to explain because it's trained since childhood. Good thing is you've been able to break that cycle of abuse and trauma, at least when it comes to enmeshment.

[@rebeccajones8628]

My ex MIL was enmeshed with her son. She would call on Sat mornings at 8:30 am for nonsense, just in case we might get romantic. Sick, sick family. She is sick and he is too.

[@diannetimpson6885]

My ex MIL called every night at 10pm. EVERY Night! I told him to disable the phone and he freaked out. No Way would he to be available for his mother 24/7/365.

[@justin2morton1]

My life story

[@Kayce429]

Is there always a sexual component in enmeshment?

[@jomymatthews]

Yes. I would say so. But narcissism "without CI" could also be enmeshing. But it's very hard to detect since CI is very insidious.

[@digitally_ascended_conscio6304]

This is so brootal.

[@digitally_ascended_conscio6304]

@@kimberlyhills3920 Wait, I'm not making fun of anyone, the term that something is "brootal" comes from the blackpill, a quite depressing filosophy, focused around genetic determinism, including psychology. Like this guy explais: www.youtube.com/@lordofgingers/playlists
Blackpillers use the summary "brootal" quite often, sometimes as dark humor meme, on the topic, not the person or making fun of accents or anything (I'm not english myself).