Bipolar Disorder & ANGER
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FROM THE VIDEO: "Something I've learned is that there's a BIG difference between “normal anger” and Bipolar anger. Appropriate or “normal” anger has a specific cause and a somewhat clear way to defuse it. For example, I might get pissed at a stranger that cut me off in traffic. Once the stranger is gone, I'm not angry anymore. Bipolar anger, especially during an episode, has no clear reason and no clear way to defuse it. For example, I might go from driver to driver - being angry at everyone on the road for reasons that don't make much sense to others in the car. I might start driving dangerously when I'd normally never do that.
Normal anger doesn't usually cause problems in my life. Bipolar anger scares the s*** out of me. I'm talking about that BURNING, unteathered, soul-sucking anger that consumes my thoughts. Where everything is a trigger and no one can reason with me. If some of this sounds familiar to you, you're in the right place!"
---My channel is completely dedicated to helping individuals, families, and friends who struggle with, or know someone living with Bipolar Disorder. My goal is to provide actual tools, tips, and discuss topics that can potentially help “Polar Warriors” grow to live a more balanced, peaceful, and fulfilling life.
-Rob Whittaker, Polar Warriors: Bipolar Support
HELPFUL LINKS & ADDITIONAL CONTENT:
-Check out my Partner, The International Bipolar Foundation for some amazing FREE Bipolar resources: www.ibpf.org/
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I'm so grateful that you all are here. What started out as a "weekend hobby" has turned into a beautiful community of Polar Warriors. I can't thank you all enough for watching, liking, and sharing my videos. We are in this TOGETHER.
Love you all
So grateful for this community you have helped me so much about being bipolar and techniques to help especially the anger hope you’re doing well
Polar Warriors this helps me a lot.
I felt this way this weekend. Everything just made me angry.
Anger shifts with the bipolar curve.
Just as how productive you are able to participate in your world. I really like cars. Have a bunch, sold most due to my condition.
Maybe I missed a video on that subject. Still I'd like to ask if there is better/healthier way to run with it. The best phase is being hypomanic - I might even be able to regulate myself. Manic - doing something is no problem, but stopping before it afflicts healt is super hard. On the depressive side I do not even go outside. Most of the time I am not super depressed but I am also super uninterested in leaving the tight space between bed and laptop. I would have been physically able to get stuff done the last weeks still I did not.
When I shifted back to hypomania I did not even want to touch my computer for the nice weather and all the stuff I have lying around.
This also connects to the issue of spendings.
This is my best index for how manic I am. From beeing totally uninterested even in my own cars to the buy all the cars/buy all the parts.
I am lucky to to be very well educated about the problems of beeing bipolar. So for the most part nothing bad happens anymore and I am also quite disciplined with my spendings.
It just happened now that I again float in hypomania, that I look back at my life, before the huge outbreaks. I had genuine fun doing stuff (there were depressive elements, nothing that stopped me from going on). Nowadays I wait like for two thirds of the year till the hypomania kicks in and I am "back".
Also talkativeness. All the words I am unable to get out in depressive times, they just come out endlessly now. So, sory for the long post.
@@SpaceShipDeathstar appreciate your comments. Since my anger, & mood flips, have driven almost everyone away from me I sometimes feel so misunderstood and alone. Having ability to feel connected and obtain confirmation & understanding that I just have a different normal...
So grateful to
BiPolar Warriors !!
Stigma decreases with understanding.
Thanks for all that you do
I find something pisses me off , then it stays with me all day. It wont shift from my mind its unbearable at times.
I feel your pain
Recognizable. Your mind gets its own live and you can't control. My solution is making myself force doing things. And brake the thinking circle. At certain time i ask myself: can i do something about it? Is it no, let it go.(easier said then done). Is it yes, make a planning what you gonna do and when. Remember its better to wait for some time, because then you are more away from " the splash" and its less emotional. Then you take action. The moment you arrange that you can let it go more. When "in the head spinning" is terrible i alway go for mindfulness or go bycing or swimming till i'm tired. Then i can "reset myself". Just like a dog training.
Wish you all the best&stay save. Your fellow warrior.
Same it can last days sometimes if severe weeks
That's a tough one. I tend to struggle with that too. Some things I can shrug off. I've noticed what gets to me is repeated behavior from an individual. The irony is that I do the same thing as well and it's that mirror that upsets me. I'm like, "ugh! That person acts just like I do."
@@QWERTY-ov9tm Exactly! I get so irritated I lose it! I have actually scared myself before!
My marriage is ending due to my husband's bipolar rages, mood swings, resentment, delusions and totally negative interpretations of me and life in general. He's also been told he's schizzoeffective, which might explain him hearing voices. I love watching these videos, and sometimes I could get him to watch, thinking it would help. These videos help me realize it isn't all ME like he likes to tell me .I feel bad for people with bipolar, truly, but it also has quite a bit of sad and hurtful fallout for their partner :(
I'm in the same boat right now. We have 3 adult kids who he's always been close to and a role model for. The 2 of us have been married 29 years and together 32. I guess we were lucky to know the man that didn't show symptoms of Bipolar till his forties. The kids and I rarely find that we want to be around him because of his negativity and mood swings. It feels like a death to me. I've lost someone I loved. I listen to bipolar warrior every couple of days and it has really helped me to understand his disorder but the person that really needs to hear this information is him and he refuses to listen. My husband is VERY self centered and I wonder this is a trait that goes with the disorder.
@@victoriaperea7860, in some ways being selfish is human. I have BP and my wife and I have been married going on 27 years. I am not (I will have my wife read this message as I have her read most that I send) as you describe your husband. I don't think that it's just a BP thing, but I do think that BP could very well make it worse and be more difficult for him to realize that he is not being reasonable with his actions and reactions. I have lost a couple of friends that I am pretty sure caught me in an episode before I knew that I was sick, sought help, and started medication. I expect that he will feel badly after he realizes what he has lost. I wish things were better for you and your husband.
@@tomcleverley18 Thank you for letting me know that this trait may just be accentuated by his BP. It really is the hardest thing for us to deal with. It seems like he only thinks of himself and doesn't do anything unless there is something in it for him. One of our sons lives with us he is visually impaired and often needs rides to appointments or to a friends house. My husband charges him gas money and like $10 each way! He hasn't worked in years and doesn't contribute to our household and you would think it is the least he could do is help out with giving our son a ride. It isn't even his car or his gas! LOL I'm feeling just a little bitter.
Being delusional is kinda part of having any mental illness.
We tend to project our negativity on others, so we don't have to face reality.
It's very hard to admit that you're sick. It seems to suck away all the good and accomplished sides of us.
Admitting that we're sick feels like reducing us to only our negative traits. So we tend to overcompensate.
It's nice to remind myself that I'm strong as an ox and near genius level smart. But i also have bipolar.
So there's that. Try to remind him of both his positives and negatives, when he's his normal self. And that it doesn't make him any less human.
It is so sad, but my ex won't medicate, won't listen, won't try to change. I had to get out after 10 years. He argues everyday with his narc mother. The rages are humongous. I have cancer and his out of control behaviour is not helping. I pleaded with him stop arguing with his mother, but it is like he craves the high it gives him.
I have so many issues with anger especially when I’m manic. I have driven crazy many times running stop signs, gotten in physical fights and said the meanest things to people. It’s because I’m scared out of my mind. The fear in my episodes in unexplainable.
My insane anger is also related to an uxexplainable fear, the fear is so intense & insane, in most cases of my anger...
Uhm, do you have random goosebumps and paranoia?
Fear even your close friends and family might turn on you?
If so, that might be from psychotic episodes.
Happened to me once about 2 years ago, but i blamed drugs at first.
Thank you for saying this. My gf of 12 years is going thru her 2nd manic episode. Her anger is so intense. Reading your words makes me wonder if her anger towards me is because she's afraid I'll leave her.
@@AncientEnergyEyesOpen could also be borderline
@@Sarablueunicorn that's my thought too. What Kras said up above made me think that. It seems more psychotic now than mania. We finally got a doctor to take us seriously, so we will see where it goes. Thank you
My anger episodes involve smashing things...or imagining awful scenarios where I can diffuse it. I’ve never before diagnosis had such a depth of anger
Same
You may want to ask a mental health specialist about BPD
Jacson C I was already diagnosed
Mine is at risk of ruining my life.
Mental health isn't something the British police have a lot of information about
and trying to explain it after the fact is pointless.
I can get quite violent too
and unfortunately I'm pretty good at it.
@@abegarfield543 oh my god I'm exactly the same 🤣
I destroyed the love of my life with anger. The relationship started beautifully and I wasn’t diagnosed, didn’t know how my anger would get control of me until everything is ashes now.
I'm so sorry
Kud Home I will have to disagree, as someone who fell in love with and married a man with bipolar disorder. He divorced me when he was abusing his meds and it ruined our love. He then obsessed over getting me back, and promised me the moon and the stars. We are together again now, but it isn't the same. Resentment and bitterness has turned us into a completely different couple. He still threatens to leave me again and again, depending on his mood swings or if he's properly medicating. Sometimes he blames our divorce on me, tells me I'm the one with problems, and has convenient memory loss when he's the one at fault. There are many days that I regret going back with him. Please don't put someone through this.
Sophie Vanderbilt thank you Sophie, that’s a sobering word. I wish it could be different but I’ve probably run out of chances. I’m still in a very confused state. She used to tell me I didn’t remember in arguments but sometimes I did remember and couldn’t get my perspective across. The whole thing became toxic but I’m left with this aching longing for what once was and it repeats and repeats and drives my depression. Thank you for your comment.
Theriver Jordan I'm truly sorry for what you're experiencing. I hope you find peace in whatever decision you make. I just wanted to bring light to how your relationship with her probably won't go back to how it was. I know my husband idolizes our dating/engagement phase (which was wonderful!) and he still longs for our younger years. But we can't go back to that, as we have broken trust and different feelings now that we're older. Time changes a lot of things. It's just different. I still love him very much, but it's a difficult life for us to be together. I wish you the best, really I do.
@@TheRiverJordan3613 This hits too close to home, bro..
I was undiagnosed too at that time. Killed a perfect relationship with toxic behavior and obsessions.
Needed a good year or two to get over it. I still occasionally think about all of it, but know it can't ever be the same again. At least that breakup triggered a psychotic manic episode, so it pushed me to get professional help.
Focus on understanding yourself and your ailment. Forgive her and yourself for everything that happened. You didn't know better at the time.
I go straight to anger when I’m off my meds-no matter if I’m manic or depressed.
@RainbowDreams30 so true
Losing my girlfriend scared the shit out of me. I didn’t realize I had bipolar till now , she loved me more than anything and I loved her back but my bipolar messed with my brain , I feel so bad for hurting her. She hates me now and I can’t stop feeling guilty for the damage that I did, I’m honestly a piece of shit and I take full responsibility for it. I didn’t deserve her, I knew since day one I would lose her one day, I always thought she deserved better than me . I’m a fucking idiot. I didn’t know what love was until I met her, I never saw real love, I saw abuse, fighting, anger, and cheating. I can’t believe I damaged such a good person and I was too fucking blind to realize I was in the wrong. No matter how many times I apologize, it’s not gonna work, she made up her mind. I’m going to get her a birthday gift and it’s farewell from there. I love you Sara and I’m sorry for not realizing I had a issue until the damage was done, you deserve the best life, you deserve so much more that
I could give, I love you and I thank you for the lesson you taught me. I didn’t know I could love again until I met you, I love you and I hope for the best . Fuck me for ruining the best real relationship I could have ever had. I’m currently getting in anger management and counseling. I need to fix myself
Where u at now brother. Can u get us an update on your life and ur age
🙏🙏🙏
Your story is so sad. I'm in a fairly new relationship with a bipolar man and I'm slightly terrified. So far it's going well but he keeps saying he's scared he's gonna end up hurting me cos he drives everyone away who loves him. I'm going to give it a shot tho. These videos and comments are immensely helpful. I hope your life is better now
Hope you feel better now, even when we speak we feel better,
Keep strong and positive is the better way.
Man u captivate it and explain it perfectly i couldn't even put it into words thanks for your work
Adam Quinn he absolutely did. This explains a lot.
Yes he really did! 🙌🏾
yes he does
How long does it typically take for the anger to die down?
I loved my husband one week, then I see him as being the problem to my being unloving towards him the next week.
He hasn’t changed, nor has he said anything unloving. I accuse him of being too fat, or not doing more, yet it is my own drastic shift in how I am becoming the one who blames without positive proof. When I “come back” to feel loving towards my husband. It is as if, I “left” him and became Jekyll.... Sick of such a pattern.
SHARON MENDES sounds like what I go threw with my Borderline Personality. Wishing you the Very best! Big hugs. Xx
I relate to you on this. I’ll be like “why do I even love him? Do I love him? I mean he isn’t like the best one out there” to “I cannot live without him. He is the best one”
I am Dr Jekyll during mania & Hyde when in exhaustion
You are very compassionate and unconditional! Good luck hope he gets help !
I totally feel you.. I have the same issue and I think I have the best man ever. I'm so scared of losing him
It's soul-sucking, and actually terrifying to be around the BP person who has this extreme anger. I was around it for years, finally left
I often have to warn people "Don't poke the snake." Some listen...
i have recently came to terms with that i am pissed off.. almost always.. and when im not i am absolutely ovet the moon about that, no feeling heavy, no feeling hopeless and no uncontrollable anger.. its in these moments ive learned what will push my "motherfucker button" also learned that you can know what will potentially set you off.. and you can educate family, friends and co-workers about this.. but it wount stop someone from going and pressing that button anyway. i hate this fkn disorder.. mainly cause i likr being in control or at least being to be avle to control how i react.. but that button overrides control and rasional reasoning.. and when it gets activated i get pissed off about the fact that i am pissed off and tgen pissed off at the fkr that activated it and then the actual trigger.. that shit spirals quickly and its so hard to stop and realize what is actually going on.. people should really think about what it takes us who is afflicted by this condition to not just "loose our shit" and fuck all the consiquences.. that for me is the hardest.. stopping the symptomatic me from taking over constantly being actively mindful of yourself and your surroundings and in order to stay what looks to other peoplr as "ok"....... im never ok.. not even close.. but if i can go a day with fighting just myself and not fighting with soneonevelse i call that day a win.. and btw.. the fact that i have to live like this and i see other peoole just going about their day all happy and shit. well.. that pisses me off to. i have learned tho that being angry and acting on it is not the same.. but when the notherfucker button is pushed all bets are off.. and then im back to being a controlles angry hostile asshole. i gotta say tho, these videos have hrkped me alot. i tend to sketch now when i feel an episode coming. it helps me focus on the now and calms me just a little bit.. cause to the paper i can talk to and say anything.. it doesnt care.. i can take all the issues ive sketched and throw it away after im done and it won't come back with hurt feelibgs or resentment.. this is hard to find in people.. cause they just dont get it.. and how can they.. i mean..im the one with this illness and i don't get it.. i do know is that i need an outlet.. 😳 a healthy outlet.. so.. step 1... find a healthy outlet.. step 2... use it
@@socialpsycho184 Are you bipolar one or two I am exactly like this and I need help my life is crumbling and this covid made uk mental health useless I'm suffering
My ex has such extreme rage everyday. I couldn't take it anymore.
Feed him lithium orotate, theanine and ashwaganda
When i have episodes, they usually don't get physical, but i start saying some rude and crazy shit and can't control it. I start shaking uncontrollably and it takes me about an hour to cool down.
I feel like I started out like this and got progressively worse
I do the same things but my heart starts to hurt when I get to over stimulated
For those who are bipolar, do you ever get SO mad crazy and feel like your whole body is gonna explode? And u feel like no one has ever felt that level of anger/rage that is eating u up inside and then you feel weak and...... GOSH I CANT EXPLAIN
Yes!
Absolutely!
Yes. Often over the smallest things, or for no reason. Or for things that happened years ago and I'm thinking about it again. I'm always pissed off tbh.
All the time
Yes. More than you could ever understand.
you know you got it bad when you start crying when your mad
Oh yeah! When I cry, I'm REALLY angry!
Me too
I’ll get annoyed first and then builds up to anger inside my safe space where I can use something to extinguish the anger
My husband gets his release by blaming everyone and says, "everyone is irritating me needs to leave me alone!!" And it's intense and the rest of us are confused and hurt. It's really tough living with him and deciding if he's being a true jerk or is this an episode.
I start slamming things if I get angry. I slam stuff in my bedroom, in the kitchen, etc, my spatula was bent, my pot was broken too. I kick everything secretly. Also, I said rude words to people close to me. You know, they just call my name and I shout to them. I always think my issue is anger management. I feel like it gives me a sense of relief. After that, when I have broken the relationship, I realized how bad I was.
I notice I'm way more paranoid than usual when I'm angry at something or having a bad day. Everything makes sense to me and I can't imagine how no one else understands and it's annoying. I get angry because I feel like "it's not a coincidence" when something happens or something like that
You must have been a fly on my wall as you posted this video. It's a struggle to know if the anger is legitimate many times. It's a blurry line between feeling confident in standing up for yourself and feeling the need to be heard and understood so desperately it turns ugly. It's human to have things you are always passionate about and sometimes mentally healthy and well adjusted people must be uncharacteristically confrontational to be heard. It's so important to be very self aware and trusting of the close relationships in your life. If not, it will be a lifelong battle to maintain your self esteem and happiness.
Bingo
So true. I can relate completely. You are not alone.
I agree with everything you said, I feel the same way
Hi Laura,how are you doing?
It’s strange that when I was diagnosed BP and got my meds in order, my road rage subsided. Now I drive like Hoke in Driving Miss Daisy.
Finally someone is talking about this. Thx
Yes, anger can be a major thing with me if I’m crossed by someone and yes it’s a burning anger that I hate and know it’s wrong! 😞
me, too: homicidal rage and hypersensitivity, staying angry for hours, like killer bees. Lamictal has really brought this out. So glad that I have my wits about me, recognize this and defuse it. I don't want to hurt anybody or wind up in jail for a momentary lapse in control.
My wife says it is "fun" to watch tv with me. I attack every commercial that comes on. My reasons for my anger are sound but others do not see why I get so angry . We dont watch much regular tv. I am basically pissed off at the whole world.
I absolutely love your videos. Since my diagnosis I’ve shared your videos with my mom to educate her. It’s made such a difference. Stay safe during this difficult time 😊🌸.
LunarHalo_ Studies* me too! With friends and such. Recently this was my diagnosis I was uneducated about it beforehand sadly.
I was recently diagnosed with bipolar type 2 a few months ago (I’m 24) I’m still learning about it
One of my friends has bipolar disorder. She can suddenly become angry, even in the middle of the night, and she often takes a taxi home. When I asked her what triggered these episodes during times of low mood, whether it was something I said or did, she honestly explained that the cause was not external but rather memories of childhood abuse from her parents resurfacing unexpectedly. She admitted that these memories make her feel angry towards everyone.
Exactly. And people don't help because they "help you find the reason why you are angry". I have always felt isolated, but at the same time every little thing annoyed me at some point. I thought I was cured again...of course it wasn't the case. I am trying to use mindfulness. We can make it :)
Yes we can Nicoletta!
I find that everything turns black and anyone trying to talk to me in that moment is like background noise, I’m so focused on the rage. My whole body shakes.
I had to distance myself from my adult daughter as she seems to be unaware of how much damage her behavior causes, her anger episodes being the most acutely damaging. One anger episode scared me with its sudden, random onset, and with the danger of her driving at the time with me as her passenger.
Hi, Rob offers one on one support on Patreon if you are interested. He also posts more personal information about his day to day struggles like his recent hospital stay. Take gentle care! 🙏
Sometimes we all need someone to talk to:
www.crisistextline.org/
teenlineonline.org/talk-now/
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
(H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
Can you please do a video on Ghosting, cutting someone off, ignoring someone that you cared about until..... Is that Mania? Can this be forever? How long does this usually last? Love your channel. Thank you for sharing everything that you do.
Yup! Me rn. It’s a consuming anger. Even people breathing around me angers me...which makes me wish I could make them stop breathing at some point. That’s when I walk away...
Robert, you've done it again! As usual you have really broached a very difficult symptom in this adventure called bipolar disorder.
I have recently been dealing with anger issues. Lately it hasn't taken much for me to get all worked up over other people's actions. I feel guilty when I catch myself being overly critical of people. It's been a real struggle to keep a balance view of things and people without getting angry. Sometimes I feel like it wants to consume me. But, I remind myself that the anger will pass if I allow it to. So far I'm managing but not without some difficulty.
Thanks Robert for a great video.
Same
I get angry for nothing and don’t realize it until i start to come out of it. Usually. And sometimes it’s coupled with paranoia and at the extremes delusions+paranoia+angry. But I can also be depressed at the same time, which even i don’t understand.
Thank you Sir for sharing . I was with 2 women who were Bipolar and I am no longer with them . One for 20yrs had a Beautiful daughter. She had episodes of Rage and was also very promiscuous and I could not deal. I dont cheat and the other lady was the same and I left and never looked back. Sad I'm 53 and with no one . Will not be with anyone ever again . I wish I had this info yrs ago I might knew how to deal with it . God bless you all. I love God and wish the best for everyone who is bipolar. I want ever be with another bipolar again. I hope with the info we have we can treat this sad disease.
White boy !
Anger is one of many reasons why I have chosen to be on my own for a number of years. I have bipolar disorder and feel it's better for me to not be with a significant other. It takes it's toll on relationships and with friends and family. Not many people can tolerate my mood swings and inconsistency of highs and lows. It's very confusing for a partner to see the person they fell in love with to seemingly change overnight into someone else. I don't want to put anyone else through that again. I've loved and lost so many people over the years through my own irresponsible actions which have resulted in a lot of heartache on both sides that it's better to be on my own. Fortunately I have a supportive family who try to understand the condition but it's not easy on them either. I'm 52 and can understand why you left your previous partners due to the hypersexuality and anger outbursts. It can make you question, "Was it me? Did I do something wrong? Was it them? Did they do it on purpose?" So many unanswered questions. Often it's neither of you. It's the condition itself which is the cause. It can be a difficult choice to walk away from someone with bipolar disorder. However, sadly the person with the condition can't walk away from the bipolar themselves and have to deal with it.
I wish people understood the difference between Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Intermittent Explosive Disorder.
What’s the main differences
Certain situations at work,trigger my anger,lies deceit,not taking responsibility for their messups,is driving me of the wall,
The sad reality of this channel is that more people who live with bi polar disorder are watching this than people who actually have it, it is so frustrating to see how some people dont want to confront there demons, i thank you for your videos and hope this message gets to the right people and believe me it helps.
I've described my anger like a shark smelling blood in the water. I go into a frenzy and cannot stop...until I exhaust myself. Anything can set it off, which is as disturbing to me as much as people around me. When I'm grandiose, it takes on another dimension.
Yeah so amplified that I've drawn up divorce papers twice and then I come to my senses. Welcome to my anger.
Sarah Smile same
Sarah Smile me too. I’ve tried over 19 years to divorce my husband 4 times and thousands lost in attorney fees. 😔
@@kellyhendrickson2178 the struggle is real girl. Hang in there
Same with me. Then I come to my senses in like 3-7 hours. Luckily my Fiancé is an angel!
Sara smile as in Hall & Oates :-)
I have a low threshold for frustration when im “normal”, so it’ll be “explosive”. I get mad, yell, then I’m over it and be perfectly fine (adhd type stuff).
I’m noticing now when I’m in a possible mixed episode (waiting for a diagnosis, but the puzzle pieces are fitting together), the anger is rage. Just pure rage bubbling underneath the surface BEGGING to come out. I’ll flip out over practically anything and I can’t cool off. I self isolate and tell my kids to not talk or come near me. I tell them “moms on one right now. It’s not your fault. I’m sorry I’m being like this but please give me my space.”
I’m not a confrontational person by any stretch. I’m super patient with strangers and service workers.
How I know I’m in the danger zone is when im PRAYING for a stranger to come at me wrong so I can just unload on them.
SMOKING - That's it! I stopped after 23 years smoking back in 2007 and boy believe me when I say that this heroic act was opening Pandora's box; it seems to me almost 2 decadres after that smoking (tobacco) kept everything under wrap, I felt good, I lost it year after year since stopping.
Hi! I quit smoking a decade ago and man are you ever right about quitting! By far the hardest thing I've had to quit!
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
When you said “when you don’t have that door to slam you’ll have anxiety because that outlet we’re used to is gone, which makes it worse”
that had me stop in my tracks-
my mom is an easy trigger for me, but now she moved out and I don’t have her anymore, and my anxiety and angry outbursts had been incredibly more frequent.
Now knowing and having insight into this is a big step to controlling it. I probably wouldn’t have figure this out if it wasn’t for your video, thank you
My boyfriend and I moved to another city after nine months of living together and everything tumblerred down in 30 minutes (yes, 30 minutes).
I suddenly found myself arrested and I lost everything (literally and figuratively).
I've been officially diagnosed and I'm taking medication, I was lucky and could keep my job. Have read lots of books and watched videos about bipolar disorder and my life makes much more sense now. I'm still in the recovery process for the rest of my material world but feel completely empty emotionally. I cry every day and recently have had very strong anger "episodes" (don't know if that's the best way to call them) I feel I can't control myself... It's exhausting!
I've been having these problems since I was in high school and I'm 21 now. I got diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder at age 16 and have found myself crying because it feels good to not be alone. My emotions may be magnified by my episode right now, but coming across these kinds of videos helps a lot.
Both mania and depression bring anger for me. Loneliness seems to be the core trigger; I can usually break it down after the anger episode and see that. I then blame myself for this loneliness, and the anger is turned inward.
God damn. YOU JUST DROPPED SOME KNOWLEDGE ON MY HEAD.
My eldest sister currently struggles with bipolar anger. The scenarios and behaviors you spoke about actually describe her! I really am just trying to understand her better. Thank you for all the good you do for people.
Ugh my daughter is bipolar it’s impossible to live with somebody so angry violent and crazy
I can relate! help her find a hobby that helps me I am into coins and currency it redirects my anger!
I have been the punching bag of an undiagnosed brother who was evicted for non payment from his condo and is living with me. Yesterday, I couldn't take the abuse anymore and kicked him out of my house. He is still here he said "to make my life miserable". He is always angry, obsessed, abusive. I see him now as someone who i dont know, as a stranger who invaded my life and is destroying it.
Mine isn't even anger anymore; its rage. I've broken things, screamed until I felt my head was going to explode, started huge unnecessary arguments without seeing that I started it, put holes in walls, caused hairline fractures and countless bruises, busted knuckles, left whole sections of skin covered in scratches, etc.. I hate it.
I keep trying to explain to my fiancé that most of it is a reaction and I'm having trouble repressing it.. People just think I'm not trying anymore.
The real issue is that there's no solving what started my rage. No one's going to apologize.
- has anything worked for you? I have the same problem but maybe even worse. I have 2 or 4 episodes every damn day and my voice and hands never get a chance to heal. Ive broken every dish, mug, door frame and window in my house and scream for about an hour non-stop, yelling words such as "kill me please! Make it stop! Fuuuuhhh, god please make it stop, i want to die! Help!" On and on with every breath i take, and it only stops about 40 minutes of endless uncontrollable rage and emotional agony (all these negative emotions of jealousy, remorse, grief, loss, injustice, anger) and then i collapse and my heart is beating 200 bpm and im sweating and bloody and can only lay there on the floor breathing rapidly and heavily. Feels like a heart attack at the end of every episode. I cant take any more of this. Please, has anything worked for you??
Only a minute and 40 seconds in and wow...i didn’t know anyone else could explain in such detail what i feel.The anger is just so hard to control,i lash out and do things i wouldn’t even think about doing when i calm down.
I am daughter of a bipolar woman with severe anger issues we have suffered most of our childhood, my siblings, and I due to her problem. I come to this video because I don’t know what else to do to help her. I’m tired of having to deal with her, and all of her issues have given every single one of us in the family emotional and mental distress. We are trying to give her one more chance. I hope all your advice can help us improve the situation a little ❤ thank you for making these types of videos
Hi there! I'm so glad you found Rob's channel! Your story is very common, you're not alone! In case you are interested Rob offers one on one support on Patreon and he has a support group for patrons only on discord where we have a lot of loved ones who attend. He also has a specific group for partners and family as well. Would love to have you there!
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
Thanks for the upload 👍
I was always an overachiever during the first 3/4 of my graduate studies in law, HEAVILY over-worked myself and was very ambitious with my goals, maybe because I usually experience very long lasting periods of “functional” hypomania. I kept this pace until I absolutely crashed and my life crumbled. Had to put my studies/work on hold for 5 years, which I’m actually thankful for, because I learned SO MUCH about my bipolar disorder.
I’ve been doing coaching and psychotherapy for 3 years now, as well as some yoga and meditation. And I’m finally back on my meds after having recovered emotionally from my beloved dog passing away last September.
Things are SO MUCH BETTER now. Especially since I discovered your channel. You’ve given me the beautiful gift of hope and being able to understand my condition while also offering specific advice and tools for managing my symptoms.
The only reason I mentioned a simplified version of my journey was to point out that I’m overjoyed by the fact that I was finally able to enroll back in school and I’m only one year away from graduating as a lawyer. I’ll be using what I can from my first paycheck to support your work on patreon, because I’m so grateful for you and your content.
Greetings from Colombia.
Thank you for putting out new episodes in these tough times, your work is greatly appreciated!
Thank you for another video
Thank you for all these!
You're doing Gods work!
Thank you for talking about the hard stuff!
Thank you again for another spot on video.
Great topic Rob. Thanks for the time you put into these videos.
Thank you for the insightful informative videos.
I appreciate your honesty and openness!!! So helpful. Thank you!!
You just explained a decade of anger in 5 minutes. Thank you.
Great video, Rob. Keep up the great work!
i think this was and is one of the best i have seen....you summed it all up. thank you
Thank you Rob and community for your help and understanding.
Much Gratitude.
Lisa in Florida♡♡♡
Wandered back over here and once again the vid I watch is pertinent right now thanks for forging ahead to help us do the same! Going to show this one to my caregiver!
Yes you summed it up perfectly. I am just learning to deal with anger. Thank you
Thank you, Rob.
I’ve never been able to put it into words, thank you this helps a lot.
Thanks Rob, As always I'm learning from you along the way. Its crazy to see how I act when manic. I've thought my anger was so over the top & could never figure out way. Now I'm learning to understand why & trying to identify the triggers. Thank you my friend.
Great job on this. My heartburn went away. I'm calm now. THX! :)
I’ve watched so many of your videos and I can’t get over on how perfectly you describe everything I go through. Just incredible. The more I listen to you' the more I realize how much help I need 😞😞 thanks so much for all you do.
Hey man, yesterday I had a really bad episode (after reading the article about “woka-cola” telling its employees to BE LESS WHITE) and a dark, evil shadow fell over me and I was so goddamn angry I was seeing white (if you’ll forgive the pun).
My wife left me 6 years ago this May and I have been alone raising my 6 year old son all by myself.
Within the last two months I’ve reconnected with a childhood friend, she and I are making a go of it but with the perfect storm of external agitations (not just woka-cola but an entire host of unbelievable hardships shit down my throat for no reason) I experienced yesterday put me in a bipolar rage I did my best to subdue but failed miserably. I warned my girlfriend that I am bipolar and don’t take my medicine (because as we with BP know it’s fucking awful) but I don’t think she was ready to see it in all it’s hideous form. I essentially sabotaged myself and put myself in great danger of losing her, but luckily she is very understanding. I forwarded her this video this morning after she asked what she needs to know to understand/help me. I feel like you did an amazing job of explaining what it is we go through, in fact I sobbed a little bit because I am so familiar with this anger but was never able to understand it myself. Now I do, and I feel like this is an invaluable resource for anyone experiencing the misery of day to day life with this terrible disease.
THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, I love you brother.
Appreciate the content, glad there is a channel that can articulate the struggles of being bipolar.
Thank you for the great work
Thanks Rob - excellent video
I'm really grateful - I really look forward to your videos. Stay well during this bonkers time Rob 💖
Thank you for this video. I'm having my mom and my brother watch this video so maybe they can see what I go through and understand why I can't let go like they do.
Thank you for this, this was rly helpful to me in a time of need. Hope it was for others as well
I'm so happy I found your page
Was diagnosed in July . I'm finally understanding myself
This...hurts. It hurts to finally get an answer to why so many people i cared for would do this. It sounds exactly like them and it hurts but it helps me understand and process what i saw them going through. Thanks for this.
5:22 you just enlightened me... thank you
This video in particular helped me to understand A LOT of my actions and mindset(s) from over the years. I couldn't even put these things into words properly for my therapist until I watched this. I really appreciate you taking the time to make this vid. I have only seen a handful of your vids so far but yeah, this is great stuff. Thank you again.
I cried in relief just feeling validated. thank you.
This video is extremely well timed. Woke up angry. Needed to be reminded that it amplifies everything and have to be mindful.
Thank you for making this video, you did a excellent job at explaining things, so that others may understand, I could never explain my self properly after a episode when I felt bad, I thought people thought I was just a crazy ass hole
Amazing video. Great job articulating feelings and situations. Better than any Dr on the internet.
Thanks Rob! This is a video that will be watched often. Still getting a place just for me to cool off and pull myself back together.Thank you so much for sharing your challenges and of your Victories too. I know we all have different challenges, Right now with all that's going on i have to remember what's most important to me and stay away from triggers and manage my emotions. Thanks Rob! 👍
Just had to listen to this again. Thankful you are “here”
I really cant thank you enough for this channel. You have helped so very much.
Happy to hear that!
I find myself trying to not talk or engage with others like at church because i don't want to say the wrong thing or get triggered.
Thank you so much for this video.. looking back it seems as if I've had issues with anger all my life, even childhood. As an adult my friendships, relationships were affected negatively by anger. But once my medications were stabilised my mood has improved and I have less anger,now. By then my life has become null. Very few friends,now. But I've learned to differentiate between manic rage, manic anger and anger. This video brings so much clarity. Thank you.🙏🏾
Thank you.. I needed to know that I am not alone.. Most people only address the manic high and depressive low..
Thank you for this! This is my 1st video of yours to watch, and you already make more sense of what I'm going through than my psychologist. I'm 45 and was recently diagnosed as BP1, but have been misdiagnosed for 45 years, so I'm finally about to get to see a psychiatrist about meds and so forth. Thank you, again, for the explanation of what I couldn't say in words myself because of the anxiety, anger, etc...!
Another great video. Always gives me hope. I also show these to my family and partner. You can explain things in ways I can't express to them sometimes and it helps. Thank you.
I love how you described it as anger that scares the shit out of you because it's such a scary and honest truth and hits home with me for sure.. thanks for being a voice and bringing awareness to people
Robert, thanks again for all the effort you put into all the BP Warrior videos. We are all better off for your efforts. I'm not often in this situation, but I can recall (especially before I started medication) some times when I had misdirected anger or was more angry than justified. I have said before that we who suffer with BP need to do our best to be good to those we love when we are well, and try very hard to minimize our bad when we are not well. Take care and GOD BLESS.
Thanks for giving me understanding