you probably dont care but does any of you know a tool to get back into an instagram account? I was stupid lost the password. I appreciate any assistance you can give me!
I've heard from their podcast - you are not supposed to forget. Forgive yes. Forgetting might cause you and your marriage to stumble on the same issues/that you had
It's the hardest thing in life besides death.. especially from someone u never would expect it from .. I'm currently going thru this and it ruined my life
The pain…the refusal to give full disclosure…the repeated D days…the trauma starting at zero all over again over three years…It ruined my mental and physical health. Started dissociating. Forgot who I was. Got lost driving. Killed my spirit. Went to different doctor who wasn’t even aware of my mental state and she could see my spirit was gone-dead. You never forget even after you choose to leave. Their shadow still hurts.
I’m so glad I found this video. I was planning to devote my entire future to hurting my wife the way she hurt me. But it’s true, no matter what I do, I’ll never know if she truly feels the pain I do. I’ll only become the villain of my own story. Forgiveness and healing isn’t about knowing your partner won’t do it again, it’s about how you have changed yourself inside to accept reality, forgive your partner and create a new and better marriage than you had before.
I am struggling because I really want to forgive him . I can see all the growth he’s made as a person and I don’t want to give up on him, but I can’t stop hurting over this affair after he broke my trust. I’m still struggling to look at him the same way
One thing I’ve noticed is that my physical body holds me back from my spiritual future. My life on earth is nothing compared to what my eternal life will be. Carrying myself with a pure heart and honest intentions is all that matters. Evil is everywhere in this world, it’s our job to not pay attention to it an focus on the good. The saying is true “this too shall pass”.
I want to forgive and let it go. I truly believe my husband is sorry. I am Just do angry and feel out of control when I triggered. I think I am ok then like a punch the pain is there.
How did you know? A movie that won't end in my head. I picture them together, laughing, making love, cuddling on the couch, talking....its a nightmare. It won't stop. My husband says hes left her. I believe him. He tells me he wants me and the kids back and he made a huge mistake. I haven't let him come home yet. He's staying with his Aunt. I want to believe him but it's hard. I don't want to get hurt again. AND THAT MOVIE in my head....it will not stop! It makes me cry. It hurts me. I want to make him hurt like he hurt me...sure there are other guys willing for a one night payback time but that's not who I really am. I'm scared I'll just end up hating myself if I go through with it. I don't know what to do:(
Set some tough conditions for him to fulfill for you. If he fulfills your conditions then he is really loves you and regretting from what he did to you and children and then you allow him to come back home.
Cheat on him with his friends :) make out with them infront of him but don’t sleep with them that way you will always have the upper hand 🤚 then allow him to see his kids give him a little taste of his own medicine see how he likes it and give him the mental picture
Dr Joe I don’t know if you will see this but I want to say thank you to you. Your videos are a really big deal to me and help me more than I can articulate. Even your voice is brings comfort while watching. I have never experienced pain like I’m going through and hope never to again. I have/feel hope again. 25 yrs married and I thought we were so happy, picture perfect marriage but that is not how she feels, obviously. I simply cannot stress enough how reassuring and comforting your videos are. Your voice. Like a very wise grandpa dispensing words of wisdom and hope during a very dark and painful time. I am grateful to you for providing these videos.
I never forgave her and was never sorry for having not done so. We had an explicit agreement on the actions that are deal breakers and infidelity was #1 on the list. No regrets. There are too many decent woman out there who deserve a chance for me to give a second chance to someone who does NOT deserve it.
I guess there wasn't much on the table in the first place? How about kids? What about her? In my opinion everyone does mistakes and only the ones that do have a chance to learn to never do it again. So in this kind of thinking don't you think you're better to find a person who have already been unfaithful to some other person and then you can have good relationship? What are the guarantee that the person who have never cheated won't do it? No one marries just to cheat on them. We're all flawed humans, that's part of life.
I think if I haven’t found this Channel I would have gave up of my broken marriage already! So many knowledge words, so much I didn’t know! Funny that people say that to save a marriage both need to want. I’m learning so much and having hope, nothing like professionals who have been in the same situations and show that it’s possible! Working on my forgiveness, great tips! But also when we start praying for that person we start having compassion and is easier to forgive 👍
I was at rage last night because of anger to my husband and the affiar partner. And think of revenge. This morning I watched your video. And it sink in to me that anger swallowed me. I would try my very best to follow all your advice. Thank you.
Video was an eye opener. My marriage is just about broken. I’m having a really hard time forgiving when I never had to forgive to this extent in my life. The question is how do I forgive?
My wife has told me that our marriage is over because of broken trust. I hope i can convince her to watch your video series and possibly the marriage course. Thank you so much, you’ve given me hope when I felt there wasn’t any.
Did she forgive you, if so, can I talk to her I'd like to know how. I can't live with myself anymore, I just want someone to tell me what I can do to get through this.
This was beautiful.... I have to watch it a few more times to internalize... But it's hard my friend... I"m still so blinded by pain. This is a great direction. Thank you
This is indeed inspiring and an eye opener that no matter how bad situations are in a marriage,,there is hope that with such information, things will work out for the better
My wife chooses to be with another man. I choose to stay marry, i keep blaming myself all the time and that never goes well. I always end up in tears. I need to control myself i don't want to end up homeless. I miss my wife and kids.
Your videos gives something which every human being needs at some point of their lives.."HOPE" and Hope is sometimes the only reason to stay alive. God Bless you all 🙏❣️
Glad I found this. Forgiving is extremely difficult when you are so broken and broken from the person you put all your trust in (besides Jesus of course). Deciding divorce and me move across country or remain and work on marriage. I am sooo lost
Just think about something else - yeah right. I've meditated since 2017 and dday was Oct 2023. All the mindfulness in the world doesn't help a traumatized brain from ruminating on the dysfunctional memory caused by the betrayal.
it's been 3 months and no remorse. We had our 17 yr wedding anniversary last month, and nothing. I think I forgave him and just want him to feel sorry for hurting me...I wish he could say a kind word or ask if I am ok. Anything to show that our life together wasn't a mistake. 😔
Aug07broken I truly understand your pain. I’m going through it myself. I believe he will be sorry in time. I wouldn’t want to be the betrayer because he will have to live with the guilt of what he’s done.
Pray for him, keep praying! Same happened to me, he hated me to found out his limerence, just because they didn’t have physical contact he didn’t see anything wrong, omg! I wanted to kill him! It takes time, he finally realized, and also how much I’m hurt, it’s horrible, it’s painful!! I prayed a lot for him to soft his heart and to realized! Also therapy is helping, it’s a long road.. but eventually he will see it how fool he is being! Be patient and pray
khawaja Mazhar I have been watching so many of these videos, so for me I feel it takes as many sorrys as the betrayed needs. Sorry I hurt u, sorry I was made u sad, sorry I made u cry, sorry I was late, sorry I wasn't there, sorry I only got 2 lemons when u asked for more....u did the worst thing that a married person can do. It's our worst nightmare! Show some compassion and kindness and love. I won't treat u like a slave husband, u r not at my mercy, well, not totally anyway.
I have tried to move on with my wife that cheated and she has done alot of good things but just shuts down when im hurting and to respond to a comment on here i believe that the unfaithful should be willing to take and accept those days that the betrayed spouse is insecure and just nothing they (the unfaithful) say or do if anything at all is good enough. They should be open to take that heat knowing that if they want to save the marriage they and only they made the choice to cheat. I am not saying that when an affair happens there aren't problems within the relationship but to choose to step away and out on the one person you have in so many cases build up so much with like homes, kids, assets, etc. Then you the unfaithful should be willing to understand that the betrayed is so hurt, does not feel trust nor safety within the marriage, and the betrayed are constantly worried about another BOMB of new information being dropped or found out that puts recovery back to ground zero.. I have been trying with my wife but her lack of empathy and her ability to turn the affair blame around on me has me ready to give in. It's been 4 months and I really feel so much anger more so now then ever. Yes I go to therapy she goes to therapy but nothing is improving other then I don't believe she is still seeing him but what do I know. I caught her in a picture from her phone 2 weeks ago with her wedding ring and engagement ring off and she was wearing a gold ring I have never see before. Maybe This should be a sign that I should truly just move on where did she get that ring was it from him? It makes me so angry how she can be so great one day and then the next this type of stuff. We have been married nearly 14 years and have 2 kids with one in highschool and she (my daughter) found out about my wife cheating because the things she was doing so i also have that side of it too... My kids just want me to divorce her isn't that so sad. They have asked me their dad to leave their mom so they can live with me and they want her to move out. What am I doing? What should I do I am so lost ??????
Be the best person you could be put yourself . Mentally and emotionally and physically. Make her see what she lost. No more fighting nor chasing. If it doesn't work you will be the better person for someone who deserves you.
Forgive your spouse but dump them immediately. The work that has to be done is way to much snd is not worth the while. The cheater can have another chance but wuth somebody else. To stay with a cheater is detrimental for the betrayed spouse.
Prayer prayer and more prayer. Read your Bible Please if you can, watch this "fighting Words for wives" by Nicole And Lysa Terkeurst. They are both here on TH-cam I hope you will find some hope and strength. God bless you ❤️
I found out about my spouses infidelities while under stay at home orders. It sounds like hell, and it is. However: I firmly believe that it was a blessing. If life had been normal, we would not have been able to work it out. Instead we were forced to be with each other, speak with each other and fall back into each other. These videos were sent to me by God himself I am sure.
You can forgive your cheating wife but you can never forget what she did and she had to earned the trust in order to get full benefits of love and relationship
I already caught my husband in an emotional affair…. He says he regrets it and he wants to work on the marriage but also wants space to “figure things out” we still live together and I am having major issues trusting him. I still suspect he is either seeing her or someone else. I don’t know what to do. I’m working on my PIES but I am worried that I’m just wasting my time seeing if he is actually wanting to stay in this marriage.
Much more thanks for this video. I've seen lot of videos but all of them in the middle age or young people. You are a doctor and old too. So you can say how can manage the situations. Because you have life experiences. Actually my friend in this situation, I want help him. Thanks again - love from kerala - india
It has been 30 years my husband cheated and I still remind him of it ever so often....I don't really care of what he thinks....he says it was a mistake....I disagree Christians don't make mistakes they sin willfully...he wanted to do it and then says if GOD can forgive him who is me...all I tell him is I AM NOT GOD.
I challenged the affair partner many times after she lied to him and tried to make me a bad person. He just put his eyes to the ground and avoided me like the plague. He is a character ridden coward. She is a horrible person.
Pardon, exonerate, absolve, making allowances for, and letting go, all seem to be better terms than “forgive”. I can’t forgive the betrayer and the affair partner but I can make allowances for what happened and, for my own sanity, I can and must let go. Sad that my wife could not be me, even momentarily, to feel the love and adoration I had for her before discovery.
Forgiving my wife is so difficult. I have so much anger and resentment towards her and the guys she cheated on me with. I fight every day to get my revenge. Yet I want to save our marriage at the Sametime, this is the most hardest thing I've ever had to go through in my life. I don't get how someone can exchange vows in front of God and then have the audacity to betray me like nothing is wrong about it. I'm so lost.
What if your spouse won’t admit to the affair? I’ve never found concrete evidence and I think without it he’ll never admit to the affair. Am I just supposed to continue on as normal? I don’t feel right about living a lie. How can we move forward if he’s not going to admit and continues with it?
Two rights don't make a left either. I say do what you gotta do and leave the relationship immediately. Then stay single and heal however that takes place. Don't rush into a relationship again so fast next time. Live your life the way you want to. I'm all for hurting the other person back in a way that is legal and moving forward.
I want my husband to heal and forgive me. He had an emotional affair, I had a physical affair and now he had a physical affair. He doesn’t for give and is still in his affair.
I'm going thru this right now my wife cheated on me, and it was because she believes I cheated on her physically with another woman and I never seen that woman ever in my life
So my wife has left and I know their is someone else and my emotions have been up and down I know that Jesus Christ is going to walk with me through this. I could have taken revenge but I didn’t cause I’m better than that mess plus we have two girls and I want to set the example of what a real man/husband they should look for when they grow up. Now she filed for divorce and I’m going to drag it out so she can see the pain and how hard this path is because it is hard for me living at home and taking care of all the debit we both have rack up and she doesn’t pay
i really want to forgive and i am doing everything to be likeable so he will forget her but still in my mind i am doubting that maybe he is still seeing her.
Forgiveness is hard forgetting is impossible. That's something a cheater would want to happen. Some of us are not cheaters and the rest of us are and you want us to forgive every little thing that you do. Maybe we can but we would never forget and we will die broken.
Its better to thank a person who cheated you because he ended your illusion. I think its better i forgive myself for choosing him... i don't want to suffer myself while he is enjoying multiple relationships...
Help me he got issues n problem it’s his Lustful spirit I forgave he never apologize I always work n he lie to God about loving me here I’m 21 yrs later finding 10 yr affair he has a double life n still chose her n left us
I'm in the process of reconciliation and there's a lot of days when the Conversation is very good then it goes back to days of no communication how Address these setbacks
Let me put it a little differently: pre meditated in a conspiracy with third parties malevolant actions aimed at benefiting those third psrties at the expence of your "loved" ones, achieved by hurting those loved ones and destroying their lives. Oh, I forgot to put the word "forgive" into that defenition. Can anyone help me place it there?
i knew my husband is flawed, often makes a mistake. but how do I face him after I know he's cheating on me and he ruined the trust I gave him? how to not cry when I face him? how long will it take for me to forgive him? it hurt so bad I dont want to see his face
Do you offer help to unfaithful spouses who feel remorse and shame, yet who left the outside relationship to hopefully restore a very unfulfilling marriage and now just live with a thousand regrets? It’s such a feeling of loss and hopelessness. Back to the same old problems with a spouse who is happy enough, but you have illicitly experienced something better. Punishment is living in the hell of what you have done, but also knowing what you have lost.
This is a good lesson to learn about delusions, distortions and greed. What was done was done. It is not for regrets. I am sure if you knew it was like this, you would not have done it. There is always something better....Being content is a gift and lesson to be well learnt. Not just on relationship, being content with everything you have is a VIRTUE !!!! Pray for you to move forward and don't look back. Focus on what are delusions, distortions, greed and being content. Bless you.
Forgiving is hard....forgetting is the hardest.
going thtrough the same phase
you probably dont care but does any of you know a tool to get back into an instagram account?
I was stupid lost the password. I appreciate any assistance you can give me!
I am struggling on this
Actually I think the forgetting part is impossible.
I've heard from their podcast - you are not supposed to forget. Forgive yes. Forgetting might cause you and your marriage to stumble on the same issues/that you had
It's the hardest thing in life besides death.. especially from someone u never would expect it from .. I'm currently going thru this and it ruined my life
Any update? Did u stay with her? I’m going through the same thing right now
It ruined me right now 😭
Same any update?
The pain…the refusal to give full disclosure…the repeated D days…the trauma starting at zero all over again over three years…It ruined my mental and physical health. Started dissociating. Forgot who I was. Got lost driving. Killed my spirit. Went to different doctor who wasn’t even aware of my mental state and she could see my spirit was gone-dead. You never forget even after you choose to leave. Their shadow still hurts.
Shame lm going through this right now😢
I’m so glad I found this video. I was planning to devote my entire future to hurting my wife the way she hurt me. But it’s true, no matter what I do, I’ll never know if she truly feels the pain I do. I’ll only become the villain of my own story. Forgiveness and healing isn’t about knowing your partner won’t do it again, it’s about how you have changed yourself inside to accept reality, forgive your partner and create a new and better marriage than you had before.
Hello I know of someone who can help you he helped me get my ex back and he can also help you as he did mine too
Whtspp him
+,,,,2,,,3,,,,4,,,,8,,,,1,,,,5,,,,6,,..8....9.....6,,..4,..,.3.,..6
So true
Simp.
I am struggling because I really want to forgive him . I can see all the growth he’s made as a person and I don’t want to give up on him, but I can’t stop hurting over this affair after he broke my trust. I’m still struggling to look at him the same way
Im going through the same thing now after finding out a month ago. Has it gotten any better for you?
@@Hisarahkim what happened with u?
Same here. He is trying to win me back but it is hard.
SaMe here 😢
I found out two weeks ago, and I’m still struggling very hard.
One thing I’ve noticed is that my physical body holds me back from my spiritual future. My life on earth is nothing compared to what my eternal life will be. Carrying myself with a pure heart and honest intentions is all that matters. Evil is everywhere in this world, it’s our job to not pay attention to it an focus on the good. The saying is true “this too shall pass”.
I love your wise words
You can pass right into my DMs :) I could use a buddy to help me heal.
❤ Amen ❤
This was beautifully written!
I want to forgive and let it go. I truly believe my husband is sorry. I am
Just do angry and feel out of control when I triggered. I think I am ok then like a punch the pain is there.
This is something you can work on and your partner can help you with.
@@jenniferwhite2402 I feel the same way
How did you know? A movie that won't end in my head. I picture them together, laughing, making love, cuddling on the couch, talking....its a nightmare. It won't stop.
My husband says hes left her. I believe him. He tells me he wants me and the kids back and he made a huge mistake. I haven't let him come home yet. He's staying with his Aunt. I want to believe him but it's hard. I don't want to get hurt again. AND THAT MOVIE in my head....it will not stop! It makes me cry. It hurts me. I want to make him hurt like he hurt me...sure there are other guys willing for a one night payback time but that's not who I really am. I'm scared I'll just end up hating myself if I go through with it.
I don't know what to do:(
S.L. Griffin right it’s all I can think about
Set some tough conditions for him to fulfill for you. If he fulfills your conditions then he is really loves you and regretting from what he did to you and children and then you allow him to come back home.
@@faithocomments it was her step dad that got h
er. P. G. .OK.
@@mursal4024 If he REALLY LOVED , why would he keep cheating?
Cheat on him with his friends :) make out with them infront of him but don’t sleep with them that way you will always have the upper hand 🤚 then allow him to see his kids give him a little taste of his own medicine see how he likes it and give him the mental picture
Dr Joe I don’t know if you will see this but I want to say thank you to you. Your videos are a really big deal to me and help me more than I can articulate. Even your voice is brings comfort while watching. I have never experienced pain like I’m going through and hope never to again. I have/feel hope again. 25 yrs married and I thought we were so happy, picture perfect marriage but that is not how she feels, obviously. I simply cannot stress enough how reassuring and comforting your videos are. Your voice. Like a very wise grandpa dispensing words of wisdom and hope during a very dark and painful time. I am grateful to you for providing these videos.
I never forgave her and was never sorry for having not done so. We had an explicit agreement on the actions that are deal breakers and infidelity was #1 on the list. No regrets. There are too many decent woman out there who deserve a chance for me to give a second chance to someone who does NOT deserve it.
Forgiveness is not the same thing as reconciliation. You can forgive someone and not have them back in your life.
I guess there wasn't much on the table in the first place? How about kids? What about her? In my opinion everyone does mistakes and only the ones that do have a chance to learn to never do it again. So in this kind of thinking don't you think you're better to find a person who have already been unfaithful to some other person and then you can have good relationship? What are the guarantee that the person who have never cheated won't do it? No one marries just to cheat on them. We're all flawed humans, that's part of life.
@@silkus cheating is not making a mistake she or he made a choice to being unfaithful.
Cheating is not a mistake.
It's a DECISION!
Forgive, forget, let go and move on with out them.
Don't be an Insurance Policy
Fear, doubt, and mistrust are the enemy.
I think if I haven’t found this Channel I would have gave up of my broken marriage already! So many knowledge words, so much I didn’t know! Funny that people say that to save a marriage both need to want. I’m learning so much and having hope, nothing like professionals who have been in the same situations and show that it’s possible!
Working on my forgiveness, great tips! But also when we start praying for that person we start having compassion and is easier to forgive 👍
I miss my wife. I believe in prayer. God is in control.
God forgive
I don't.
His voice is so soothing
Yes, that's why I love listening to him, he helps me cope with the loss of my marriage....x
Yes!!!!! Omg I was just about to say this
I was at rage last night because of anger to my husband and the affiar partner. And think of revenge. This morning I watched your video. And it sink in to me that anger swallowed me. I would try my very best to follow all your advice. Thank you.
Video was an eye opener. My marriage is just about broken. I’m having a really hard time forgiving when I never had to forgive to this extent in my life. The question is how do I forgive?
Are things better now?
I’m currently going through finding out my husband had an affair. Thank you for this ❤️
Same like you
Same
Same
Me too 😢
Same... It's breaking me into pieces. When you've done everything to keep him happy yet he still chose to cheat on you. 🥺
I will never forgive or forget but I am learning to find peace and live in the present. It’s hard but not impossible.
Thank you so much for these videos. You are providing hope and tools during a very hard time.
Going thru the same thing right now. Hope also to forgive.
Thank you for video. These always inspire me that things will get better.
thanks
My wife has told me that our marriage is over because of broken trust. I hope i can convince her to watch your video series and possibly the marriage course. Thank you so much, you’ve given me hope when I felt there wasn’t any.
Did she forgive you, if so, can I talk to her I'd like to know how. I can't live with myself anymore, I just want someone to tell me what I can do to get through this.
I want to know how to forget, how to trust again. How??
Love hurts the most ,,, yet it’s the best
This was beautiful.... I have to watch it a few more times to internalize... But it's hard my friend... I"m still so blinded by pain. This is a great direction. Thank you
This is indeed inspiring and an eye opener that no matter how bad situations are in a marriage,,there is hope that with such information, things will work out for the better
My wife chooses to be with another man. I choose to stay marry, i keep blaming myself all the time and that never goes well. I always end up in tears. I need to control myself i don't want to end up homeless. I miss my wife and kids.
Sorry to know this. Surely, it is painful to imagine that.
@@iamblessed3377 It was painful, but I overcame it. I am now single
@@elindigeno1215 happy to know that time healed you.
@@iamblessed3377 Most definitely. A year ago It was rough with depression and suicidal thoughts. Now I look back and laugh at the situation.
@@elindigeno1215 good luck for your future brother now I'm facing a similar situation in my life ....I don't know what to do .
Your videos gives something which every human being needs at some point of their lives.."HOPE"
and Hope is sometimes the only reason to stay alive.
God Bless you all 🙏❣️
Glad I found this. Forgiving is extremely difficult when you are so broken and broken from the person you put all your trust in (besides Jesus of course). Deciding divorce and me move across country or remain and work on marriage. I am sooo lost
I don't have the strength anymore to forgive...am just not willing to give my kids a broken home even if am not happy
Just think about something else - yeah right. I've meditated since 2017 and dday was Oct 2023. All the mindfulness in the world doesn't help a traumatized brain from ruminating on the dysfunctional memory caused by the betrayal.
Well said!
it's been 3 months and no remorse. We had our 17 yr wedding anniversary last month, and nothing. I think I forgave him and just want him to feel sorry for hurting me...I wish he could say a kind word or ask if I am ok. Anything to show that our life together wasn't a mistake. 😔
Aug07broken I truly understand your pain. I’m going through it myself. I believe he will be sorry in time. I wouldn’t want to be the betrayer because he will have to live with the guilt of what he’s done.
Pray for him, keep praying! Same happened to me, he hated me to found out his limerence, just because they didn’t have physical contact he didn’t see anything wrong, omg! I wanted to kill him! It takes time, he finally realized, and also how much I’m hurt, it’s horrible, it’s painful!! I prayed a lot for him to soft his heart and to realized! Also therapy is helping, it’s a long road.. but eventually he will see it how fool he is being! Be patient and pray
khawaja Mazhar I have been watching so many of these videos, so for me I feel it takes as many sorrys as the betrayed needs. Sorry I hurt u, sorry I was made u sad, sorry I made u cry, sorry I was late, sorry I wasn't there, sorry I only got 2 lemons when u asked for more....u did the worst thing that a married person can do. It's our worst nightmare! Show some compassion and kindness and love. I won't treat u like a slave husband, u r not at my mercy, well, not totally anyway.
I have tried to move on with my wife that cheated and she has done alot of good things but just shuts down when im hurting and to respond to a comment on here i believe that the unfaithful should be willing to take and accept those days that the betrayed spouse is insecure and just nothing they (the unfaithful) say or do if anything at all is good enough. They should be open to take that heat knowing that if they want to save the marriage they and only they made the choice to cheat. I am not saying that when an affair happens there aren't problems within the relationship but to choose to step away and out on the one person you have in so many cases build up so much with like homes, kids, assets, etc. Then you the unfaithful should be willing to understand that the betrayed is so hurt, does not feel trust nor safety within the marriage, and the betrayed are constantly worried about another BOMB of new information being dropped or found out that puts recovery back to ground zero.. I have been trying with my wife but her lack of empathy and her ability to turn the affair blame around on me has me ready to give in. It's been 4 months and I really feel so much anger more so now then ever. Yes I go to therapy she goes to therapy but nothing is improving other then I don't believe she is still seeing him but what do I know. I caught her in a picture from her phone 2 weeks ago with her wedding ring and engagement ring off and she was wearing a gold ring I have never see before. Maybe This should be a sign that I should truly just move on where did she get that ring was it from him? It makes me so angry how she can be so great one day and then the next this type of stuff. We have been married nearly 14 years and have 2 kids with one in highschool and she (my daughter) found out about my wife cheating because the things she was doing so i also have that side of it too... My kids just want me to divorce her isn't that so sad. They have asked me their dad to leave their mom so they can live with me and they want her to move out. What am I doing? What should I do I am so lost ??????
Be the best person you could be put yourself . Mentally and emotionally and physically. Make her see what she lost. No more fighting nor chasing. If it doesn't work you will be the better person for someone who deserves you.
I really appreciate the amazingly kind words of optimism
Thank you for your advice. Hoping I can handle my problem right now. Hope & pray that I will be healed. Help me.
I got all the advice I needed form Carrie Underwood “before he cheats”
Forgive your spouse but dump them immediately. The work that has to be done is way to much snd is not worth the while. The cheater can have another chance but wuth somebody else. To stay with a cheater is detrimental for the betrayed spouse.
True
You forgot to add that we have to also forgive ourselves.
Excellent advice on how to move forward into a better life. Thank you!❤
Simp training 101. never forgive a cheater
I am so broken 😭 dont think can heal ever.
God will heel u . read your bible as much as u can . on TV watch. T,B,N like I do . good bless u . l love u .
Prayer prayer and more prayer. Read your Bible
Please if you can, watch this "fighting Words for wives" by Nicole
And Lysa Terkeurst. They are both here on TH-cam
I hope you will find some hope and strength. God bless you ❤️
I'm with you
Did you ever heal? I'm in this situation rn
Thank you Dr. Beam...your words are like medicine for my heart and mind...many thanks!
I CHOOSE TO FORGIVE
So did I
I found out about my spouses infidelities while under stay at home orders. It sounds like hell, and it is. However: I firmly believe that it was a blessing. If life had been normal, we would not have been able to work it out. Instead we were forced to be with each other, speak with each other and fall back into each other. These videos were sent to me by God himself I am sure.
Getting rid of them is the best way
I feel bitter as a soldier that has come from deployment
Phenomenal information for a better YOU. Thank you!!!
You can forgive your cheating wife but you can never forget what she did and she had to earned the trust in order to get full benefits of love and relationship
I already caught my husband in an emotional affair…. He says he regrets it and he wants to work on the marriage but also wants space to “figure things out” we still live together and I am having major issues trusting him. I still suspect he is either seeing her or someone else. I don’t know what to do. I’m working on my PIES but I am worried that I’m just wasting my time seeing if he is actually wanting to stay in this marriage.
This is the exact thing is happening to me.
Same here
A cheater will always a cheater
Much more thanks for this video. I've seen lot of videos but all of them in the middle age or young people. You are a doctor and old too. So you can say how can manage the situations. Because you have life experiences.
Actually my friend in this situation, I want help him. Thanks again - love from kerala - india
Literally the pain I feel right now going to send me to church
It has been 30 years my husband cheated and I still remind him of it ever so often....I don't really care of what he thinks....he says it was a mistake....I disagree Christians don't make mistakes they sin willfully...he wanted to do it and then says if GOD can forgive him who is me...all I tell him is I AM NOT GOD.
I think I can free myself from the hurt AFTER I’ve inflicted equal or greater damage to them, but not before. I’ll be patient.
I challenged the affair partner many times after she lied to him and tried to make me a bad person. He just put his eyes to the ground and avoided me like the plague. He is a character ridden coward. She is a horrible person.
I'd love to stop thinking about it, but right now.I'm not sure if there are multiple men involved, please pray for me
Thank you Dr Joe you are the best.
This gave me reassurance for my marriage
Pardon, exonerate, absolve, making allowances for, and letting go, all seem to be better terms than “forgive”. I can’t forgive the betrayer and the affair partner but I can make allowances for what happened and, for my own sanity, I can and must let go. Sad that my wife could not be me, even momentarily, to feel the love and adoration I had for her before discovery.
Forgiving my wife is so difficult. I have so much anger and resentment towards her and the guys she cheated on me with. I fight every day to get my revenge. Yet I want to save our marriage at the Sametime, this is the most hardest thing I've ever had to go through in my life. I don't get how someone can exchange vows in front of God and then have the audacity to betray me like nothing is wrong about it. I'm so lost.
Thank you for the video very very informative ❤
What if your spouse won’t admit to the affair? I’ve never found concrete evidence and I think without it he’ll never admit to the affair. Am I just supposed to continue on as normal? I don’t feel right about living a lie. How can we move forward if he’s not going to admit and continues with it?
Same Problem
Wait, he’s having an affair that you can’t validate with evidence or proof? Is he allowed to accuse you of being unfaithful with no proof or evidence?
Two wrongs won't make a right. You either forgive them and step out of it. Or takes the time and work necessary to forgive them.
Two rights don't make a left either. I say do what you gotta do and leave the relationship immediately. Then stay single and heal however that takes place. Don't rush into a relationship again so fast next time. Live your life the way you want to. I'm all for hurting the other person back in a way that is legal and moving forward.
I want my husband to heal and forgive me. He had an emotional affair, I had a physical affair and now he had a physical affair. He doesn’t for give and is still in his affair.
Love all your videos! Always with lot of information.
How do they get consequences, I hope he gets so filled with pain He still cheating everytime every day todas dias
Amazing learning lessons thanks alot 🙏
Without forgiveness,
you are only harming yourself.
How do you deal with when u actually seen it with your own eyes because they recorded them cheating on you
Leave.
It’s so hard to not hurt them because I don’t think I’ll ever love them the same . Or nearly ever as much .
Having the same problem
Divorce. The trust is NEVER going to be restored.
I'm going thru this right now my wife cheated on me, and it was because she believes I cheated on her physically with another woman and I never seen that woman ever in my life
My spouse won't acknowledge it and do it over and over I don't get a chance to forgive him.
So my wife has left and I know their is someone else and my emotions have been up and down I know that Jesus Christ is going to walk with me through this. I could have taken revenge but I didn’t cause I’m better than that mess plus we have two girls and I want to set the example of what a real man/husband they should look for when they grow up. Now she filed for divorce and I’m going to drag it out so she can see the pain and how hard this path is because it is hard for me living at home and taking care of all the debit we both have rack up and she doesn’t pay
I don’t know how to forgive him for abandoning us. Not just the infidelity.
You are a very nice grandpa, thank you sir!
Thank you so much. Much appreciated
i really want to forgive and i am doing everything to be likeable so he will forget her but still in my mind i am doubting that maybe he is still seeing her.
what if the spouse keeps on cheating even after once or twice promising to not to do it again?
Just find god may not think hes real but what if he is
Then you just move on, this time without cheating bastard in your life!
I'm not married but I have a hard time forgiving anyone. I usally break up with my partner. I stay stuck in this state of anger and bitter.
Not forgiving or forgetting. He started cheating eight after my son's funeral and treated and treats my like an old shoe.
awesome work
Forgiveness is hard forgetting is impossible. That's something a cheater would want to happen. Some of us are not cheaters and the rest of us are and you want us to forgive every little thing that you do. Maybe we can but we would never forget and we will die broken.
How can I repair our marriage while my husband left us
Maybe it is something I'm doing wrong. When I click on the Harvard link a page come up that says 404 link not found ?
Its better to thank a person who cheated you because he ended your illusion. I think its better i forgive myself for choosing him... i don't want to suffer myself while he is enjoying multiple relationships...
I’m sorry God 🙏🏼💔☹️
It hurts so much, I don't know what to do. Please help help
Help me he got issues n problem it’s his Lustful spirit I forgave he never apologize I always work n he lie to God about loving me here I’m 21 yrs later finding 10 yr affair he has a double life n still chose her n left us
Hi, im currently struggling because my wife cheated on me, and i don’t know what to do and where to start.
Who says I want a happy life after what she did.
Very wise man
I'm in the process of reconciliation and there's a lot of days when the Conversation is very good then it goes back to days of no communication how Address these setbacks
Am much more relieved now and willing to forgive
Happy Life Unhappy Cheating Wife
What great advice
my wife cheated me but she realised and she told me about even i didn't know about it so what i have to do
Thank you so much.
Please help 😢😢😢😢😢😢
Let me put it a little differently: pre meditated in a conspiracy with third parties malevolant actions aimed at benefiting those third psrties at the expence of your "loved" ones, achieved by hurting those loved ones and destroying their lives. Oh, I forgot to put the word "forgive" into that defenition. Can anyone help me place it there?
i knew my husband is flawed, often makes a mistake. but how do I face him after I know he's cheating on me and he ruined the trust I gave him?
how to not cry when I face him? how long will it take for me to forgive him?
it hurt so bad I dont want to see his face
Leave. It’s that simple. If your wife wants another man that means you weren’t the 1st option and never will be. Leave
Wisdom only wise person this is
My husband dont do anything to mend, no actions, harsh words always, am the one to be blame, of how i think.
I love therapists who give a cheating woman a free pass, they have to excuse horrible behavior because they need the money.
Easy: don't. F 'em. Move on with your life.
Do you offer help to unfaithful spouses who feel remorse and shame, yet who left the outside relationship to hopefully restore a very unfulfilling marriage and now just live with a thousand regrets? It’s such a feeling of loss and hopelessness. Back to the same old problems with a spouse who is happy enough, but you have illicitly experienced something better. Punishment is living in the hell of what you have done, but also knowing what you have lost.
khawaja Mazhar I hope and pray for that 20x a day. Thank you.
This is a good lesson to learn about delusions, distortions and greed. What was done was done. It is not for regrets. I am sure if you knew it was like this, you would not have done it. There is always something better....Being content is a gift and lesson to be well learnt. Not just on relationship, being content with everything you have is a VIRTUE !!!! Pray for you to move forward and don't look back. Focus on what are delusions, distortions, greed and being content. Bless you.