I just found out about the second cheating event with another nameless stranger. I packed his stuff for him. I’m over it but he won’t go. I’m done. I gave him an ultimatum with a whole host of things I want to reestablish trust. Including turning on his location and he still hasn’t done it. We will talk tonight. I’m seriously done. I deserve better and more respect. I don’t think he is bad but he obviously has a problem with his morals and values and they don’t align with mine.
Repeat offenders need to be let go; especially if they are not willing to fulfill every single request from you to reestablish trust and welcome in a therapist. They won't change with you; perhaps with a future partner they will. They've established their methodologies for cheating and know how to cover up the lies.
Yes and amen. That is why Christ is supposed to be in the center of your marriage. You can get through the pains. If you are still thinking about the feelings of not being the same or you won't forget, that means you haven't forgiven and got over it properly. Means you haven't repented to God and given him the burden. If you had, then you would be able to accept what happened, doesn't make it right or okay. It means you accept and move on in God's name and with him. That is why it is important to have a partner who shares faith and trusts God and puts God in the centre or you don't have much of a chance getting through adultery or other sin. @@user-ix9yw9xi2m
Forgiveness can happen over time; within honoring our own pain and seeking constructive coping tools. However, forgiving a spouse for cheating does NOT mean reconciliation of the marriage. There is a reason why God makes it clear that adultery is the valid reason for divorce. Adultery destroys trust.
Leave him. God has no problem with leaving someone who betrayed you. He does not love you like you love him. You're probably addicted to him. You need to break the addiction and move on.
@@mygirldarby I hope your husband or wife would stay with you if you were lied to and fell into addiction. God talks about separating to be at peace, then forgiveness and reconciliation. One flesh means one flesh. If one is hurt so is the other so it is best to go to the Bible together as one and figure it out.
I have offered forgiveness. But forgiveness requires repentance to have any effect. I told her i forgave her for the lies and hiding of things and all the rest, but if she doesn't stop doing it theres nothing i can do.
Someone once told me that forgiveness is a one way street, and reconciliation takes two. The point of the video is in opposition to your offer- that you don’t wait for the opportunity to make it happen, you do it anyways. Their repentance is a separate ordeal, but forgiving starts from your end. You can’t for-GIVE by HOLDING onto those things that happened to you. “That doesn’t sound fair & they should know what they did wrong.” Its not just for them, its for YOU. Forgiveness is for you and it’s effect for them is mercy. Condemnation is not the spirit of God. John 3:17 shows how His heart for us even when we were the cheating spouse. So with that said, you have the right to feel the way you do, but you’re not obligated to hold onto that pain nor them if they want to continue. That’s the power of free will.
Well you didn’t tell us how. I have no need to forgive. To forgive they have to be sorry and I’m not going to beg for that. I’ve let it go. This sure is some Pollyanna non-advice …all fluff with no substance.
Forgiving is shown intergenerationally with example. Just eant to tell women don't wait 30 to 40 years waiting for forgiveness is already passed and its better to redo uour life. If you see in 57years of divorce and your partner remarried don't wait till death to re do your life. Is not gonna happen even old couples i'd seen they rather end their 75 and 85 solo and die alone rather than reunite
My wife cheated on me and I'm through this difficult process. With all the pain I'm getting through, I don't hate woman and I will advice the same you're mentioning in your comment. I don't know if I ever going to forgive my wife but still i will never wish her any bad.
I dont feel your advice is apt, being faithful in long marriage and suddenly finding out you have been betrayed hurts a lot, the whole narrative of your explanation is more labouring point on how the one who has been betrayed should do more, they deserve sympathy and support and not a justification for the cheating, i think you are cashing on weakness and making them more weak in a relationship journey, not sure your philosophy will ever work, always good to move on take up new challenges in life rather than trying to fix broken things, broken things wont last despite anyones best efforts.
Subscribed today. Enjoy tour content and points of view. They are making me think about my feelings and my repsonses to my marriage and how to address my issues and my marriage. 😊
I think that someone who repeats the behavior over and over even though they know how hurtful their behavior is, is a evil person
I just found out about the second cheating event with another nameless stranger. I packed his stuff for him. I’m over it but he won’t go. I’m done. I gave him an ultimatum with a whole host of things I want to reestablish trust. Including turning on his location and he still hasn’t done it. We will talk tonight. I’m seriously done. I deserve better and more respect. I don’t think he is bad but he obviously has a problem with his morals and values and they don’t align with mine.
It's an honesty and selfishness issue with him. You're right, you deserve better. Still acknowledge your hurt and then forgive. For YOU.
Repeat offenders need to be let go; especially if they are not willing to fulfill every single request from you to reestablish trust and welcome in a therapist. They won't change with you; perhaps with a future partner they will.
They've established their methodologies for cheating and know how to cover up the lies.
Forgiveness is the path to healing
I agree that it won’t work being one sided
Hopefully he will also address his faults and save your marriage
Who told you that you deserve bettter?
Cheating sucks. It's painful to try and heal when you feel that level of betrayal. 😭😭😭
you can forgive and even if they make amends, you're never going to forget, no matter how much inventory you write down
If you give it to Jesus & put your marriage in Jesus hands he can restore your marriage if you have faith.
@angelopiton jesus cant replace the hugs that i used to feel!
@@mjperfume1523 Yeah. It feels like if you already lost that wonderful feeling.
Yes and amen. That is why Christ is supposed to be in the center of your marriage. You can get through the pains. If you are still thinking about the feelings of not being the same or you won't forget, that means you haven't forgiven and got over it properly. Means you haven't repented to God and given him the burden. If you had, then you would be able to accept what happened, doesn't make it right or okay. It means you accept and move on in God's name and with him. That is why it is important to have a partner who shares faith and trusts God and puts God in the centre or you don't have much of a chance getting through adultery or other sin. @@user-ix9yw9xi2m
I have no needs for vengeance. I’m better than that and that is giving the situation more energy than it deserves.
Forgiveness can happen over time; within honoring our own pain and seeking constructive coping tools. However, forgiving a spouse for cheating does NOT mean reconciliation of the marriage. There is a reason why God makes it clear that adultery is the valid reason for divorce. Adultery destroys trust.
I’m in Gods word daily several times a day to help me forgive and help me heal.
Same
Amen and Hallelujah
Leave him. God has no problem with leaving someone who betrayed you. He does not love you like you love him. You're probably addicted to him. You need to break the addiction and move on.
@@mygirldarby I hope your husband or wife would stay with you if you were lied to and fell into addiction. God talks about separating to be at peace, then forgiveness and reconciliation. One flesh means one flesh. If one is hurt so is the other so it is best to go to the Bible together as one and figure it out.
The book of Psalms has helped me through this too.
Nope, idc what anybody says. If my spouse cheats, she goes
Smart man.
I have offered forgiveness. But forgiveness requires repentance to have any effect. I told her i forgave her for the lies and hiding of things and all the rest, but if she doesn't stop doing it theres nothing i can do.
Someone once told me that forgiveness is a one way street, and reconciliation takes two.
The point of the video is in opposition to your offer- that you don’t wait for the opportunity to make it happen, you do it anyways. Their repentance is a separate ordeal, but forgiving starts from your end. You can’t for-GIVE by HOLDING onto those things that happened to you.
“That doesn’t sound fair & they should know what they did wrong.” Its not just for them, its for YOU. Forgiveness is for you and it’s effect for them is mercy.
Condemnation is not the spirit of God. John 3:17 shows how His heart for us even when we were the cheating spouse.
So with that said, you have the right to feel the way you do, but you’re not obligated to hold onto that pain nor them if they want to continue. That’s the power of free will.
Well you didn’t tell us how. I have no need to forgive. To forgive they have to be sorry and I’m not going to beg for that. I’ve let it go. This sure is some Pollyanna non-advice …all fluff with no substance.
They don't have to be sorry for you to forgive them. Forgiveness is for you, just like he said.
I pray to the Lord to help me see my husband through His eyes and help me love him the way the Lord loves him. I’m extending Grace daily.
That's the way tp go dear sis
Thank you
He doesnt give a sh. about me. He keeps hurting me physically
You need to get out if it's physical.
Forgiving is shown intergenerationally with example. Just eant to tell women don't wait 30 to 40 years waiting for forgiveness is already passed and its better to redo uour life. If you see in 57years of divorce and your partner remarried don't wait till death to re do your life. Is not gonna happen even old couples i'd seen they rather end their 75 and 85 solo and die alone rather than reunite
My wife cheated on me and I'm through this difficult process. With all the pain I'm getting through, I don't hate woman and I will advice the same you're mentioning in your comment. I don't know if I ever going to forgive my wife but still i will never wish her any bad.
Thank you for this video
That will NEVER hapoen!!!!
I dont feel your advice is apt, being faithful in long marriage and suddenly finding out you have been betrayed hurts a lot, the whole narrative of your explanation is more labouring point on how the one who has been betrayed should do more, they deserve sympathy and support and not a justification for the cheating, i think you are cashing on weakness and making them more weak in a relationship journey, not sure your philosophy will ever work, always good to move on take up new challenges in life rather than trying to fix broken things, broken things wont last despite anyones best efforts.
I forgive on a daily bases
But these flawed people ARE evil
Subscribed today.
Enjoy tour content and points of view.
They are making me think about my feelings and my repsonses to my marriage and how to address my issues and my marriage. 😊
Don't. i mean seriously. from experience. Just don't.
I cannot forgive what he has done
Then you don't deserve to be forgiven as well
Its a little confusing... Which one of the courses i need to take to try to forget an infidelity?
Hon...you will NEVER forget. You will always remember and still hurt from it...even if you forgive them for their choices.
Seems you tell us why to forgive, but no method to forgive
Please any woman who husband cheated and still staying wirh him for the children sake please send me your number I need help