The 6 Things Abusive Churches Say

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.ย. 2024
  • This is what abusive spiritual leaders say to control and manipulate you.
    02:01 First Thing They Say
    03:28 Second Thing They Say
    05:07 Third Thing They Say
    07:57 Fourth Thing They Say
    08:51 Fifth Thing They Say
    11:09 Sixth Thing They Say
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ความคิดเห็น • 329

  • @Lottiedottie827
    @Lottiedottie827 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    Abusive churches confuse condemnation and conviction.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  ปีที่แล้ว +6

      True. I didn’t think of that 🤔 A lot of Christian confuse those as well. Good Christians. Well-meaning. And the devil uses that against them.

    • @Lottiedottie827
      @Lottiedottie827 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@AaronJDaigle I am 56 years old and grew up in a cult like church, from age 8-16. Because of their teaching I have had life long confusion of deciphering my conviction from condemnation. The Bible talks about there is no condemnation in Christ. I hold to that believe when I feel the devil is using my past teachings against me..

    • @michaelmerck7576
      @michaelmerck7576 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I was involved with a college ministry where they were big in having the idea of discipleship and each church member had an elder who was supposed to meet once e a week to have that elder make sure you were studying the bible and various other things they were concerned earne.he was overall a good teacher but sometimes i sensed i was being misled to do things that would benefit the church but not always backed up by scripture and if I resisted their leadership I was told I was disobeying God because according to him whatever he told me it came from God .I eventually left but still followed Jesus but am very cautious about doing something just because an elder says it's true.i did learn to study the Bible on my own that how I k ew this man didn't always get his inspiration from scripture

    • @dr.kellywheeler
      @dr.kellywheeler 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It's great to see how God is using your life, Aaron! We are doing well, thank the Lord! We pray you and your wife are too!

    • @briancarroll4460
      @briancarroll4460 9 วันที่ผ่านมา

      When you tell the members how dirty and sinful they are but you don’t tell them about the finished works of Christ and that you are free from sin or tell you how bad you are but not how to get out of the situation

  • @Wannagobackto1980
    @Wannagobackto1980 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I just left my church 7 months ago. It was hard cause I was there for 36 years. The original pastor went home in 1998 and his son took over. Well I saw the signs years ago but noone else in the church would do anything or anything because of EXACTLY what you said about "Touch not mine anointed and do my prophets no harm." So he went and dismantled the things his father had set up that WORKED!! He demoted my father which the original pastor put in charge of the maintenance of the church and spoke hateful to him when he did it. The turning point with me was when the piano player which was a good friend of mine passed away last July. I played the drums and my father had passed away 2 years before. I was still grieving my father and then my friend passes away that I played drums with for 32 year's. So he called me one Saturday and asked me why I didnt play the drums the week before. I told him I needed a break. I was having a hard time with my deddys death and now the piano player so.... I just need some time. Well he responded by telling me first off how he felt about the piano player dieing and just made it about him. Then the kicker for me was him saying "I'll tell you one thing, if you dont play the drums, GODS gonna allow bad things to happen to you!!" That really got me. I was done after that. I'm just sorry I didnt realize who he was 25 years ago!! Now I'm at a awesome church that reminds me of what my old church was like before he showed up on the scene!!

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You have a been through so much. I’m baffled at the lack of understanding regarding your need for space after your friend passed away. But then to follow that up with the type of threat he used against you is appalling. I know it feels like a waste. Why didn’t I leave sooner type of thing. But your wisdom and experience has increased because of what you went through. God knows how to work all things together for good….. And I’m truly happy that you’ve found a new church home. One that is a better fit for you. Keep the faith my friend. And stay in the good fight 👍

  • @Futurfirstofficer
    @Futurfirstofficer ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is the reality of the church and i'm not ok whit that. It's not about Jesus anymore but everything is about God. They use your personaly issues to controlle you. Very sad! In our church you have to call the pastor Dad. If you say Pastor is like you are rude, very strange hein! I agree an all you are saying

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hey Mariza. I can’t imagine what you’re experiencing there. I am sorry you are having to go through this. I promise there are genuine churches with great pastors. It does sound like you’re not in one right now though. I pray you have the courage to leave. You can end it all, today. And then you’ll need the courage to trust again and connect to a healthy church. God will give you strength (and see Matthew 23:9-11 on the whole “dad” thing.)

  • @OnlyJesusMatters83
    @OnlyJesusMatters83 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I know of a ministry that had a member commit suicide due to whatever was going on there.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That is very, very sad indeed. I am sorry to hear this.

  • @vanessaschneider2596
    @vanessaschneider2596 ปีที่แล้ว

    I can't read me bible
    Or go to a church...without resenting it...feel forced

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I’m sorry Vanessa. If I could ever help somehow, please let me know. Use my email from the description.

  • @52Jess
    @52Jess ปีที่แล้ว +66

    You voice a problem and you become that problem. 😞😢🙏

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Yes. That tactic is used to prevent you from voicing it. Be empowered. Do it kindly. But speak up.

    • @mollyr9149
      @mollyr9149 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      It's called DARVO. Deflect and reverse victim and offender.

    • @deborahgloria3867
      @deborahgloria3867 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It says to mark them and separate

    • @michellee2990
      @michellee2990 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yep !

    • @ShmaAdonaiEhad
      @ShmaAdonaiEhad 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Oh I know. This happened to me also. That spirit of control is consistent.

  • @WalkerSmallEnginePerformance
    @WalkerSmallEnginePerformance 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +50

    Most of this abuse boils down to keeping people coming and collecting their tithing. It’s about control and money.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  7 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      In some contexts, yes. Motives differ across the board. Some do it on power trips. Others, to use their congregation as a means to become a big name pastor. Still others from a deep place of hurt, not even realizing what they are doing to others.

    • @dougarters2691
      @dougarters2691 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Just like the world.

    • @michellee2990
      @michellee2990 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I totally agree !

    • @ExoticGTRX
      @ExoticGTRX 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Tithing has nothing to do with money but food. The wolves in sheep's clothing doesn't want people to find that out.

    • @ELIEL626
      @ELIEL626 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@dougarters2691THEY ARE OF THE WORLD ? THAT TELLS A TRUE CHRISTIAN EVERYTHING HE NEEDS TO KNOW ( MATT 7:16-20 ) AND YE SHALL KNOW THEM BY THEIR FRUITS .

  • @franprudhomme4506
    @franprudhomme4506 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    1. You’re the problem
    2. You need to be planted there
    3. Fear tactics. You’re not loyal to the vision , so you’re suffering for it. This keeps u in your place.
    4. Info they know will be used against you
    5. I know what’s best for you because I know the Scripture
    6. They have a purpose for you but anything outside of that is unacceptable.
    4.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yes. Thank you!

    • @carolblair2845
      @carolblair2845 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@AaronJDaigleI have no idea why it’s so hard to leave a bad church…. I’ve been going to mine for over 40 years, but if I want to leave…. would just stop going!

    • @fionaginsbury9633
      @fionaginsbury9633 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Purpose being is exploitation!

    • @ShmaAdonaiEhad
      @ShmaAdonaiEhad 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      You don't belong to an organization. You belong to Christ.

  • @alexandramartinez7855
    @alexandramartinez7855 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    Omg , God Bless you. I left a Spiritual Abusive Church… 1 year ago. It took me a whole year to feel free in Christ . May God continue to help shed light on this unhealthy situation.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      God bless you too. And yeah. I know what you mean, about it taking a year to heal. It’s real trauma. Just bc it’s been swept under the rug doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I pray God continue leading you forward, into His full plan for your life and your relationship with and in His real church.

    • @jeffreydotson4842
      @jeffreydotson4842 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Glad you got away in only a year. I was in bondage for 21 years.

  • @geoffstokes
    @geoffstokes 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +31

    It's called control and comes from a spirit of witchcraft

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Spot on. I plan to delve into that at some point on the channel. It’s specifically a jezebel spirit (which yes, is linked to witchcraft, which yes, is about control and manipulation). Many people have an oversimplified idea of this spirit as being some promiscuous woman. Not the case at all. Again, you’re hitting the nail on the head, and I do believe expounding on this topic (and linking it to the context of these videos) is in order. 👍

    • @geoffstokes
      @geoffstokes 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@AaronJDaigle excellent

    • @geoffstokes
      @geoffstokes 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Actually, Derek Prince has some really good teaching on this subject and how to deal with it. It's a really good series I was directed to years ago.

  • @nickbarton3191
    @nickbarton3191 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Stuff I've shared in confidence comes up in their sermons, usually in a negative context.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Man that’s painful, and embarrassing. Not cool. I’m sorry to hear you had to go through this man.

    • @nickbarton3191
      @nickbarton3191 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@AaronJDaigle I survived.

    • @Freedom20241
      @Freedom20241 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      We’ve experienced this.

    • @nickbarton3191
      @nickbarton3191 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@Freedom20241 Sorry to hear that. It's pretty troubling. I learnt to ignore it, and stop being honest with any kind of leadership, bad I know. For me, this is far in my past, but I've lost so many "friends" by removing myself from former churches. By leaving, I became one of the "black sheep", and not the only one by far.
      I hope that you find a good path through.

    • @midnightthoughtsss
      @midnightthoughtsss 20 วันที่ผ่านมา

      this is real - Philippines

  • @lashawnw.
    @lashawnw. 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    It’s like they follow a play book on how to hurt people. They never take responsibility for their actions.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sadly 🤦‍♂️

  • @goviralgo6418
    @goviralgo6418 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    Another way that can be abusive is when only the pastor and there family sing song play instruments teach preach and pray and no one else can do it. No one else can use there talents

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  ปีที่แล้ว +13

      We are all one body and each member has a role 👍

    • @geoffstokes
      @geoffstokes 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Very true. That happens a lot. "You can do anything else in church but you're not preaching" type of thing.

  • @JonathanGrandt
    @JonathanGrandt ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Listen people:
    You
    Will
    Never
    Get
    Anywhere
    With
    An
    Abusive
    Person.
    Sitting down with such a pastor will NEVER be worth your time and breath.

  • @Vandweller66
    @Vandweller66 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +80

    A Pastor actually has zero authority over you. Only the Word of God (Bible) has authority. Jesus is running the show.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      👍

    • @musicguy9101
      @musicguy9101 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      AMEN!

    • @geoffstokes
      @geoffstokes 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      True. The Lord is my Shepherd not the pastor

    • @atamani725
      @atamani725 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      BEWARE..Both Wolves & Shepherds love MUTTON...😢

    • @bonezbaaaby
      @bonezbaaaby 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Amen. People who are narcissistic, enablers, or the ignorant or deceived will always come against this

  • @janiced.hatcher1272
    @janiced.hatcher1272 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    When a church body mistakes loving all for supporting a abuser. Extending more kindness and support to the abuser than the person they abused.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes. Those things can often be so one-sided. And skewed.

  • @jbcowgill
    @jbcowgill 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    It is great to hear someone talking about this. Most churches will not touch this issue.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Thank you my friend. I won’t say I didn’t hesitate, but truth must be spoken. It just needs to be done in the right spirit. And that’s the balance I sought before making the video.

    • @jbcowgill
      @jbcowgill 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      You are very welcome.@@AaronJDaigle

  • @hemasaravanan188
    @hemasaravanan188 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Respecting and giving first priority to rich people.
    You will become broke if you don't tithe.
    You will lose your job or you will fail your exams if you don't attend church on Sunday.
    Is family , money, sickness, job , education, job interview, etc more important than God.
    These are the few guilt trips.
    Jesus is our only mediator. No man is worthy to take his place. We need Jesus Christ not a pastor.
    These pastors are the pharisees and sadducees mentioned in the Bible.
    Is money more

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Hey Hema! Thank you so much for sharing. Yes, these are some great examples of things used against people in the cult-like churches we are discussing. Such good insight!

  • @denise_sandy_
    @denise_sandy_ ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I am so grateful for this series on church hurt and spiritual abuse as I've been experiencing it. I was told a multitude of things from "you're the problem", "you're not submitting/humble", "it doesn't make sense for you to fast" and "you'll never grow". And yes I have been thinking I was crazy and 2 days ago I decided to check TH-cam to see if anyone else had been/is going through this. One of the negative seeds planted in my spirit by my leaders was when one of them told me that it didn't make sense for me to fast and since then it had been a struggle for me to fast. I used to be excited to fast and then I lost the zeal.
    One time I also tried to express to one of them that I didn't like the way they spoke to people, I felt they were too harsh and quite frankly rude and I was instead shut down and told that I had a spirit of offense and that I didn't know how to accept correction because I'm not humble and not submitting.
    I don't have an issue accepting correction, I just don't think that people have to be rude to prove a point that they're in charge. I believe we should correct in love, as the Bible commands. What are your thoughts?

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Thank you for sharing your story Denise. I am so sorry you’re experiencing this. It sounds like you’re doing your best to honor God by respecting the leaders but that they’re taking advantage of this and using it against you. As for what was said to you about fasting, I’ll share the principle with you that I live my life by. The Bible always wins. What I mean is that when I want, think, hear something, but that Bible contradicts that, I go with the Bible every time. That said, Jesus said “When you fast…” (Matthew 6:16). He didn’t say “if you fast.” He didn’t tell his disciples “some of you will fast but some of you won’t.” He said, “when” you do it. Therefore, Jesus assumes we will fast. So in your case, the person who discouraged you from fasting is wrong. And God (through His Word) is right. The principle is - what does the Bible say? This can be applied to all areas of life. And to spiritual abuse for that matter.

    • @denise_sandy_
      @denise_sandy_ ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@AaronJDaigle Hello, thank you. That's a great principle and that's what all believers ought to do. I think some of us place so much trust in our leaders...because we're kinda supposed to because these are the people who are supposed to guide us and help mould us into greater spiritual beings in Christ, then when they do wrong or say wrong (especially stuff that contradicts the Bible) we ignore it and tell ourselves "Nah, that's a man/woman of God...they're holy and righteous and therefore they are right and I am wrong", but sometimes they're just wrong. What I've come to also realize in the past few days while spending time assessing my situation and talking to God about it was that if they are made of flesh then they can operate in it. Far too often we label spiritual leaders as "they can do no wrong" but they very much can. It's good to ask questions and be concerned so in the event that they are contradicting God's word or operating under a different spirit, we won't be deceived and led astray because we failed to do due diligence and check back with God and His word.
      And it's all the more difficult as a new believer. It's so confusing. Imagine being told I was prideful because I didn't apologize for something I didn't do but yet when my spiritual leader does something wrong they just brush it off. They don't apologize. If they speak to me harshly and degrade me they never circle back and say "hey, my attitude was uncalled for and I'm sorry for the way I spoke to/treated you". That's what I expected from believers when I joined the church. How can y'all preach God's word and can't even humble yourselves to apologize when you're wrong? That seems prideful to me. I thought I was going crazy. I kept asking God if He was seeing and hearing the way they spoke to me. I didn't even know leaders could treat people this way. I thought some would be better and actually obey the word of God and all it's commands of showing love and not being proud, etc.
      Also, one of the most maddening things for me was that I had no one to talk to so I would just go to God in tears but I felt like He didn't say anything back. I couldn't speak to anyone in the congregation because they follow blindly and it would be awkward to say what I'd experienced. I also didn't want to come across as a gossip er or anything of the sort but I really wish I just had someone to tell all to. Because I've been hurting and it's gotten to the point where I'm depressed and don't even want to attend church events anymore.
      I will remember your principle in these times though, no matter what any flesh says (Pastor or otherwise), I will go to God and His word and if what man says/does contradicts the word of God...I'll reject and rebuke it too. Thank you, my brother. Blessings to you!

    • @SuperMichelleDJ
      @SuperMichelleDJ 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      If these church leaders knew their Bible, it would say that every church Christian should fast at some point. It is necessary for the Christian life. But no, they wouldn't know that because most church leaders don't even read the Bible.

  • @rubinachanis4074
    @rubinachanis4074 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    We’re the rebellious ones!

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  26 วันที่ผ่านมา

      It’s always turned against you 🤦‍♂️

  • @kasigloss8381
    @kasigloss8381 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I was told that if I did not dress in a manner that exposed my figure and wore make-up, according to the pastor's wife, I would not be permitted to worship. I am a poor, disabled 69 year old woman who was saved 40 years ago.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I am so sorry this happened to you. Very inappropriate and definitely non-Biblical. I pray you find a home in a healthy church where God can work through you and where you can expedite all the great things the body of Christ has to offer 🙏

    • @viviandaviss
      @viviandaviss 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      What the heck, normally it's the opposite

    • @Iris-2023gh
      @Iris-2023gh 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      The bible has the dressing code, which is modesty. It does not say we must go after the pastor's wife dressing or dressed up to kill, revealing a lot of flesh to attract attention like you are going to the beach.

    • @Nina-vv3ev
      @Nina-vv3ev 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      They were jealous of your beauty & you probably look great for your age… take it as a compliment & not as an insult… EVEN WHEN IT HURTS… I’ve been there sis

  • @imanii4u
    @imanii4u 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Our Lord is so kind. He allows us to make our own decisions. It’s called free will. Any human who strives to control every aspect of another’s life is creating of themselves god-status. That is a false gospel.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Wow. Yes. Very well said. Some people share a minute’s worth of content in an hour long message. You, my friend, have shared an hour’s worth of content in a minute long message!

  • @geoffstokes
    @geoffstokes 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    You have to really know you have heard from the Holy Spirit and be strong enough to follow through on that. Its tough. I've experienced a lot of what you're talking about. But I grew in the Lord to the point that I knew I wasn't the problem anymore. I personally don't tolerate it anymore

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Man you’ve developed quite a bit of understanding from your experiences. And I love the use of the word “tolerate.” Going back to my reply on your other comment (in that we’re dealing with witchcraft/jezebel), God told one of the 7 churches in revelation that He had this issue with them - that you tolerate that spirit Jezebel (in other words, they were letting something - through someone - manipulate and control them) Good insight my friend.

    • @geoffstokes
      @geoffstokes 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Thanks for your comment. Despite having been through a lot, it doesn't necessarily get any easier. I can still get caught. These spirits are also so slippery that sometimes you've been 'had' before you realise it. They seem to know how to isolate you and strike when you least expect it. Keep up the good fight and warning/educating people

  • @colejohnson777
    @colejohnson777 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Ive been told I appear lazy by a friend cause I work evenings and couldnt handle 3 areas of serving on Sunday so I had to quit one. They said I appear to go back on my word even thought I told them before I was serving other areas. And recent I was basically called prideful because I as a single man desired to have a wife and it hasnt happened yet. When I was telling a friend I knew for awhile about it who was a girl they questioned if I was too prideful even though I trust God the feeling of lonliness is still there and its a struggle. It hurt me seeing she thought I was sinning cause I basically wasnt trust God enough in her view.
    Im having thoughts of changing churches because we have no young adults, no one reaches out, and for me most of the fellowship is gone. I feel outcasted and alone. What should I do?

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I’m sorry to hear that you are going through this. I suspect when you are in the right church, you have a sense in your spirit that you know it’s right for you. In your case, you seem unsettled and for some obvious reasons. Those are just some thoughts that may help guide you in the right direction. And as a side note: it is not prideful to want a wife. A wife is a good thing. That’s what the Bible say about her 👍

    • @jeremiahsmith4876
      @jeremiahsmith4876 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Went through something similar

    • @SuperMichelleDJ
      @SuperMichelleDJ 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Always go back to your Bible and if it contradicts the advice you are given, just tell whoever spoke to you, that you will follow the word of God first before following advice from other people about spiritual matters. Wanting your wife should be a good thing. it's up to you, but if that was me I'd be changing churches. Totally up to you though.

  • @GodsDaughterEmpress
    @GodsDaughterEmpress 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Cried watching this…thank you for posting…Went through #1, #4, #6.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Smiled reading this. Not that you had to go through it, but that seeing the video surfaced up the areas God is wanting to heal inside you. Covering you in prayer today.

    • @GodsDaughterEmpress
      @GodsDaughterEmpress 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@AaronJDaigle Amen! Exactly that. Thank you for your obedience in sharing!

  • @SharlaMontgomery
    @SharlaMontgomery 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I'm here today , this is happening right now. 😢 I don't want to go back to this church.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Hey Sharla. I am sorry to hear you are experiencing this right now. As soon as I read your message, this came to me… You have a choice. I know it doesn’t feel like a choice you want to make. And the “what’s next” part of choosing is concerning. But for what it’s worth, I truly felt to tell you this… You have a choice.

    • @SharlaMontgomery
      @SharlaMontgomery 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@AaronJDaigle thank you so much for responding. I know God doesn't want me to feel bad leaving His house. You are right! I do have a choice. Church is not supposed to hurt.

    • @ahsiekli3004
      @ahsiekli3004 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Seek the Lord. There ARE real pastors out here who take God seriously at His Word. Be encouraged ❤

    • @deannang455
      @deannang455 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I am so sorry. It's supposed to be a safe space.
      It got so bad and I left and took a while to recover. Prayed and God helped me find better friends.
      Really creative ways they did church - coffee shop Bible studies, Christian Seders, prayer on the bus, the park, malls and stores. Doesn't have to be in a stain glass building with wooden benches.
      God bless and keep you.

  • @jeffreydotson4842
    @jeffreydotson4842 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Oh, man, this is exactly what I experienced at my former church. Something they would use against me is the verse about where much is given, much is required. Basically, they told me that the more they taught, the more "jacked-up" I would get if I left. Such torment.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      That is the most out of context use of that scripture I’ve ever heard. Truly. Wow. Man I’m sorry you had to experience this. For real.

  • @v4756nb1rs
    @v4756nb1rs 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I think it's really important (especially for new Christians) to be weary of unintentionally committing idolatry by putting pastors on pedestals and not comparing everything church leaders say against Scripture. 1 Thessalonians 5:12 teaches us to "test everything," and since new people lack discernment and familiarity with Scripture, it's really important to talk about these issues (like you are). Thanks for making this video! God bless!

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Very well said. And true. Hence the personal responsibility we have to study the scriptures on our own. Preaching should be the dessert to a well-balanced, daily consumption of the Word. Not the main dish.

    • @v4756nb1rs
      @v4756nb1rs 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@AaronJDaigleOooo! Love that!! 🙏✝

    • @rachell4492
      @rachell4492 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I think it’s more complicated to discern because there are also scriptures on submission and obedience. Most the time these ministries /leaders seem to be doing good and Godly things.

    • @v4756nb1rs
      @v4756nb1rs 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@rachell4492 This is a really good point!

  • @lindarosebuchanan1650
    @lindarosebuchanan1650 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    God sent you. It is unbelievable what has been said to me. Directly and indirectly. It caused my PTSD to be reignited, I was given inappropriate inattention by a clergy which caused rage and caused me to be treated as a pariah. I had been homeless, stayed in a shelter, got a job, and got an apartment. and looked forward to returning to my faith. They almost brought me down. Did they not see the flirting of this individual toward me in front of everyone? My No was not taken well. The Lord orders my steps. Thank you.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Hey Linda. I’m sorry you had to experience this. It sounds like it didn’t destroy you though. Knocked down but not defeated. God has a purpose for your life. And He will guide you into it. With the right people at the right church at the right time.

  • @carolemmwilliams-UK
    @carolemmwilliams-UK ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Brother Aaron, thank you so much.
    Jehovah God has used you to open my eyes re Church Abuse.
    I was led to click on your channel and you have mentioned, many situations,
    that I have seen and heard.
    May the Lord continue to bless you and keep you and your family and also your powerful
    Ministry. ✝️

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you Carole for your support and kind words. I pray God strengthen you and bless you after what you’ve gone through. My heart and prayers are with you.

  • @johnmckenna1776
    @johnmckenna1776 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Abusive churches tend to give more weight to personal experience than the scriptures themselves. That or they twist the scriptures to make them say what they want them to say, or they take a few scriptures out of context, to give a false sense of authority to their teachings & practices. These abusive churches also have no accountability for the leaders, but demand 100% accountability from their people. Many times the leaders would rank high on the scale of narcissism, and often are liars both pathological & opportunistically. I've also noticed that they love to read out of Christian books more than they do the scriptures. They give the impression that no one can understand the Bible unless they read a huge number of books, that help explain what the Bible says quite clearly. God makes simple, man complicates things.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      You raise many good points. Especially the demand for accountability but the lack of it in their own lives. Personally I’ve gotten quite a bit from Christian books and do enjoy learning from others. However, I do read the Bible too so my case may be different than your point. Again man, good stuff and very insightful. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us!

  • @RaChElRoBiNsOn1555
    @RaChElRoBiNsOn1555 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I said I wanted to cut down my hours working for the church and they said it was spiritual warfare and I was letting the devil win 🤦

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Or, letting your family win. Or your health win. That’s an option too 👍

  • @deannang455
    @deannang455 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Went and worked in ministries like Thyatira and Laodicea: narcissists, no support during hard times, yet they manipulated members into giving and volunteering while barely scraping by, paid in criticism.
    Being fired and losing friends when I lost a loved one was actually a blessing in disguise.
    My new church is active in reading the Old and New Testament and members care for each other.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I know what you mean. It's painful to lose it all after investing so much. But then in retrospect we see, like you said, that it was truly "a blessing in disguise." I"m also happy to hear you've found a new place to connect with other believers and fulfill God's purpose on your life. Keep the faith, and fight the good fight my friend.

  • @michaelkistner6286
    @michaelkistner6286 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Seems to me there is always plenty of sin to go around on both sides of a conflict. I've gotten into scraps with church leaders and, even though I remain convinced I was in the right, I have to admit that my motivation and conduct were tainted by my innate pride and selfishness. What I've come to realize is that none of us are yet completely free of our self-love. That means I have to listen carefully to what I'm told and try to figure out how much of it is true. And of course some of the criticism winds up being justified. Fair enough. But that doesn't change anything really. If a body has to be perfect in order to point out a mistake the church is making, we're doomed. What mystifies me is the consistent lack of reciprocity on the part of church authorities. I'm more than willing to admit my flaws and they seem incapable of doing so themselves. That makes transformation impossible because it sets up an adversarial zero sum game where there can only be a winner and a loser.
    And Jesus weeps.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Man you’ve condensed so much truth in so few words. A very mature outlook on most of the situations indeed. I’d concur that being delivered from self-love and blinding pride this side of heaven is a goal worth striving towards while constantly understanding that we reach for the ideal, but we live in the real. Much love and respect Michael.

  • @dpr2011
    @dpr2011 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    The church is not a building. It is the Christians that go to that building that is the church We are all in one Chruch of Jesus Christ no matter what building you attend. WE are the Church what diffidence does it make where you worship our Lord? Once again man thinks his is god. It our way or no way. Church that has no accountably is abusive

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes, we are the church.

  • @talicialee
    @talicialee 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Everything you’re saying is 100% correct. This is happening because they want to be God’s themselves.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I see what you mean. If you'd ask them, they'd respond truthfully that they do not believe that to be the case. But when you observe how they act, it's ask if they replace God in people's lives. So yes.

  • @Free2Dream
    @Free2Dream 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    This is do good!!! Been through some of these exact situations!

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you. And I am so sorry you experienced this. Not cool. I pray you find your way through and walk into everything God has for you.

  • @jocelynbumpers5141
    @jocelynbumpers5141 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I'll be purchasing your book on church hurt when it comes out. Thank you

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you Jocelyn. I pray in the meantime the videos have ministered to you in your situation.

    • @jocelynbumpers5141
      @jocelynbumpers5141 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@AaronJDaigle They have and I bless God. Your perspective on being in leadership and being abused by leadership assisted me in concluding my research. Many outside of this role can name the same things but they don't understand the biblical decree of honoring your leadership (so any form of organized religion seems like a cult to them.) This, along with digging into my word & searching commentaries was what I needed. Thank you. P.S. I am a clinical therapist so the shame of justifying what was so clearly abuse will take time and humility to heal from.

  • @godsmanpodcast
    @godsmanpodcast 3 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Learning to say no was he hardest thing i learned, but the most freeing thing i ever did. God's will is most important, not their will.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      It takes these types of experiences to teach us the hard lessons in life. And yes, learning to say “no” is one of those lessons.

  • @dorinda799
    @dorinda799 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

    We were part of a church for many years, which initially was a blessing but later became toxic and abusive. So many people left and it was always their fault never the church. After being gang stalked and bullied by the leadership we also decided to leave and it’s been the most painful thing ever. Trying to heal and build my relationship with God again but am thinking of writing a book to encourage others going through the same thing🙏🏾

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I’m sorry to hear that you experienced this. It’s so hard to go through. And people who don’t experience it have no clue what it’s like. So we feel so isolated after. I encourage you to write the book. This is an idea (no insight from God just my personal opinion). You may want to wait for a season. Let God heal you. Then write it. (But write an outline of the events now so you have a record of it when you return to write the book). You want to write it from a place of experience, not a place a pain. So write it. But do it later. Again though, that’s my quick knee-jerk reaction. I don’t know your context and I don’t feel this from the Holy Spirit to share with you. It’s just my opinion. May God show you how and when. And may he bless others through your story.

  • @buck-intrends8850
    @buck-intrends8850 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I was told to submit to the deacons or leave. This was after confidential discussions with my pastor were then shared with the deacons and it was all over a theological issue. I left.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Good for you. You made a call and got to where you need to be 👍

  • @Isaiah-ft5nx
    @Isaiah-ft5nx 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    The term pastor means shepherd. It’s a servant, who provides, protects, and watches over the flock. Just because one is a shepherd doesn’t necessarily mean they own the flock. Shepherds who abuse the flock will be removed and cast away.
    It’s not a position of authority, it’s a gift of the spirit. Jesus owns the flock. Woe to those who dress as sheep but inside are ravenous wolves.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      That is 💯 accurate 👍

  • @evanjames8748
    @evanjames8748 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    UPCI leadership as a whole functions in this manner.

  • @godsmanpodcast
    @godsmanpodcast 3 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Thanks for sharing this. Many need to hear this today.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Unfortunately. Yes.

  • @janiced.hatcher1272
    @janiced.hatcher1272 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Your gift is less important than theirs, your testimony is boasting, their boasting is a testimony, and the Lord speaks to them about you but the Lord doesn't speak to you, and somehow doesnt speak to them about themselves.

  • @Will008
    @Will008 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Fake pastor’s like David E. Taylor is a prime example of what you’re speaking about in this video. Thank you for making this, it will help a lot of people get set free from the spirit of control.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I pray it does. And thank you for being a part of the community. 👍

    • @alankoziol2741
      @alankoziol2741 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That devil IS thee worst!!!

  • @JonathanGrandt
    @JonathanGrandt ปีที่แล้ว +1

    In one sentence you mentioned that pastors use old covenant ideas… and in the next you said the heart is deceitful and wicked. But that is also an old covenant declaration against disobedient and hardened Israel. The believer does not have a deceitful or wicked heart. ❤

  • @anthonystroman8407
    @anthonystroman8407 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Sir you are speaking facts but you a man can't free anyone from anything only God can.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you for your insight. I know you mean well. Jesus told us to cast out demons (among many other things). We use the authority God gave us to accomplish His will (in this case, setting someone free). To claim one can do this from his own source of power is humanism. To do it with God’s authority backing you is Christianity in action.

  • @pastorsimonshahbaz2212
    @pastorsimonshahbaz2212 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Sir would you pls share this in a Leadership seminar

  • @garrett5214
    @garrett5214 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The whole "you need to be planted in the house..." line is such a misuse and abuse of the Word of God it's not even funny. That has nothing to do with a specific church, but more to do with the fact of being in the congregation of the righteous at large (i.e. amongst fellow believers who actually believe in the Word of God and not their own false doctrines) It is unbelievable how much spiritual abuse occurs because they want you to take the punches and roll with it, when in fact they are just mishandling their church and the pain is a sign to leave. You cannot fix everyone, and especially when the leadership is the majority of the problem, then you have no church. It will fail fundamentally, and staying longer than necessary is a common misconception of Christians thinking they have to tolerate abuse because they don't want to displease God. That is not a proper understanding of God or his expectations whatsoever. The early church was mostly just house churches, and the Apostle Paul constantly talked about avoid false teachers or expelling those who are causing destruction in the congregation like those who claim they are brothers yet they are openly practicing sexual immorality. The American church is often too complacent, or they are extremely controlling, so anyone looking for a church needs to understand how to determine when the church staff is too far off the deep end. And what one person can put up with, is not the same as another, and additionally, what one person experiences isn't even necessarily the same as another even at the same church. I have seen some people go completely ignored, then others be targeted by spiritual abusing leaders which is quite sick and disgusting. I don't understand why Christians think they have to be so capricious instead of being bold and listing off their complaint and leaving if the church is a dead one because of bad leadership.
    I am really tired of spiritual abuse, especially in charismatic churches or less traditional ones. They try to manipulate and use "God told me..." or some other lie like that to control people, when they are plain wrong. The premise of so many of their beliefs are also just wrong

    • @garrett5214
      @garrett5214 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Also the amount of backwards ecclesiolgoy in the church is ridiculous. Some claim that just because they are a pastor they have some sort of superior or secret knowledge (almost like gnostics) of the Bible that you don't, even though that is fundamentally flawed because every Christian is supposed to have an extremely good grasp of the Bible... Pastor's and ministers have a gift to be able to share the Word of God with others to edify and uplift them, not to domineer over them or EVER tell them what to do when something is left in a Christian's own decision making and volition by God (i.e. who to marry, where to work, what church to go to on Sunday, etc...)
      Additionally, many churches think that you owe all your effort time and energy to volunteering for the church, when that is a completely manufactured concept not mentioned in the Bible at all. The types of serving that is mentioned in the Bible is the use of your gifts from a personal autonomous willingness to help others in the body, as each member is meant to be a blessing to the body as a whole. Notice how the Body is NOT A SPECIFIC church building or congregation. It literally referring to the Body of Christ as a whole, even in the context of the passage the Apostle Paul mentions this in.
      Additionally, the Apostle Paul was SO INCREDIBLY against the idea of burdening other members of the body of Christ, he even ignored asking for them to help support his ministry financially in some cases (you can read the context to better understand why), and then he also worked a huge number of his years in ministry as a Tent Maker to make a living for himself then went and preached on the Sabbath. Placing no burden on anyone to support him, but rather honoring God first, and respecting the people.
      There is no requirement by God to volunteer in a church, but rather God's expectation is to simply use your gifts (in whatever capacity you discern is fit) to help the body at large. That means you do not owe anything to any individual church. If a church does not have enough people to complete a ministry task they either 1. Need to pray about it and ask they God bring people who have the heart of that ministry 2. Question if the ministry they are trying to push is even God's will or just something they invented and think is good because it seems good in a natural sense to them out of religion 3. Balance the budget better, and hire someone to do the task they are asking instead of expecting others to give their time and energy away for free, which is not just nor right in a proper just Biblical concept when practicing good exegesis
      Helping others in the a body of Christ is not to be done out of necessity (as the Apostle Paul talked about not giving out of necessity), but rather comes from someone's Christian character and compassion as they make their own volitional choices as to how they will help others - the amount of Free Agency that the abusive church attempts to circumvent by confusing people about their own free will is unbelievable and a danger from hell... There is a difference between wisdom and good instruction, and the abusive dictation of toxic church leaders, members, and churches

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  หลายเดือนก่อน

      You’ve added quite a bit of insight here. I especially agree with the faulty use of scripture. The so-called interpretation of the verses is used as a weapon to arm the abusers and disarm the abused.

  • @vickyjohnson2704
    @vickyjohnson2704 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    That’s so bad. I was told I’m a Jezebel from my pastor… he’s 55 to my 79. Oh yes. He was pouring his second beer as he spoke. …. No honour for an older woman at all… what a rat 🐀

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      While I have no context to know if you have that spirit or not, his age does not disqualify him from pointing it out in you if you do. Given his propensity for inebriation, however, I’d certain seek out a second opinion before assuming he’s right.

    • @vickyjohnson2704
      @vickyjohnson2704 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@AaronJDaigle Thankyou. Appreciate your advice. The beers didn’t help my opinion of him… especially as he told me he needs to pray for me.. I try to walk in a humble way with God… so I didn’t leave… and I said to him… if he sees something in me I would bring it to the Lord in prayer.

  • @EdwinSmith-hd2nt
    @EdwinSmith-hd2nt ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My Sunday Teacher his control issues if he is not there we must get prosisom to have class
    But I feel that if someone wants a class we should have a Bible class

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I’m sorry man. Not cool

  • @ShukriAbdulle-w6u
    @ShukriAbdulle-w6u 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Wonder we're I have seen this😂

  • @Gary-s7o
    @Gary-s7o 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    What about these Word Of Faith preachers like Benny Hinn where he curses those who speak against him,?

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Im not exactly sure of the question. And I’m not personally aquatinted with Benny Hinn. I’m sorry. But to curse someone who speaks against you is witchcraft.

    • @Gary-s7o
      @Gary-s7o 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@AaronJDaigle That's what it is.

  • @Nostalkingwelcome
    @Nostalkingwelcome 3 วันที่ผ่านมา

    But how do we leave a church like this?

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      While the simple answer is to just leave, I understand that’s not the easy answer. It’s honestly one of the best questions to ask. And one I intend to put together as its own video and speak to here on the channel.

  • @seameology
    @seameology 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    A pastors wife once said " why does God only send broken people to our church"? DUH

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  26 วันที่ผ่านมา

      So only the righteous can get saved?? 🤦‍♂️

    • @Odelot-p2j
      @Odelot-p2j 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@seameology what she was referring to ,was their bank account

  • @Letthemtalkhes
    @Letthemtalkhes 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I have to get your book. Because my family have definitely experienced attempted fear tactics. On and off the church campus, by and elder who I have very little contact with. Maybe 15 mins. Who was instructed to harass myself and children.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I am so sorry to hear this. Wow. Like, not cool. As of now, I haven’t done the book. I do have multiple videos on the Church Hurt playlist that are available now if you haven’t had a chance to check those out. Again, I’m sorry to hear that you had to experience this. To intentionally harass someone (and to do it to their children too), I can’t even 🤦‍♂️

  • @Odelot-p2j
    @Odelot-p2j 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I don't put stock in man only Jesus

  • @pastorsimonshahbaz2212
    @pastorsimonshahbaz2212 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Im pastor at A G Church

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      May God use you in your ministry.

  • @deborahpayne3656
    @deborahpayne3656 3 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Very good, Amen!

  • @banelemcin
    @banelemcin ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I started going to a church in April. I felt God telling me to move but i was so happy to be in a church and under a prophetess who could help me grow. I was told i had all these different spirits or demons and i needed deliverance and then was ignored and avoided. From, an unclean spirit to a soul tie to lust, to spiritual spouse then completely ignored. My father was a satanist(no one knew in the family) and had sacrificed me somehow so i knew i needed some kind of deliverance but i wasn’t a baby christian. My husband and i volunteered to serve in hospitality and never, not even in nice were led and directed. We took initiative and then we’re completely left out of anything to do with the events and serving. I tried not to be offended and took a step back and waited for direction, it never came so i went back then being a regular church goer. The Prophet(who invited me and my family to church) started avoiding me, she full on roll her eyes and almost look like she wanted to run away when she’d see me. I was so hurt and cried so much. I thought we had built a relationship and she was my spiritual head/mentor.
    My husband the the Pastor started doing business together(amidst all of this hurt and confusion) and i knew nothing about any of their dealings(partly because my husband just never shared his business dealings(a whole other story). Now i don’t know if we should leave. My husband isn’t bothered by what’s happened and i don’t feel ok really sharing with him because of them doing business together. It’s so confusing. I pray for Gods correction all the time and maybe i’m just being a big needy baby.
    After all my “spiritual diagnosis”, i felt so dirty and unclean and just ashamed of who i was, maybe that’s why they didn’t want me serving? I’ve pledged a large sum of money too and feel like if i left it would be wrong? like i’d be stealing from the church? Do i still give when i leave?😭😭😭 It’s so hard

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Hey my friend. Thank you so much for sharing your story and being so vulnerable. I know it’s not easy to post this on a public comment so I can see that you are desperately reaching out. Let me preface my response by pointing out that you are dealing with two major issues, not one. The first is the situation in your church. The other, your marriage. I’m not just talking out my head when I tell you this, my wife and I own a marriage and family coaching company, see couples together, and she is a licensed marriage and family therapist. I highly encourage you and your husband to seek marriage coaching. And NOT from anyone inside your church. You said multiple things that are glaring red flags. I pray you take my words to heart and not overlook this suggestion. Now, on to your other issue. You need to get out. What you described it not healthy. And no you don’t give that money when you leave. I wouldn’t even give it while still there. You can’t steal from the church when what you’re attending is a cult, not a church. There are also many red flags in what you said about this “church.” Spirit souses, is just one example. That is not a real thing. It is a demonic conception that is used to entangle people in darkness, making you believe that you’re stuck. The mere fact that a “prophetess” is linking you to this is an indication that she may be a “prophetess” alright, just not one for the Holy God we serve. When the scripture says that Satan will appear as an Angel of light, that doesn’t mean he’ll show up in your bedroom in a white robe and 6 wings. It means he will work through people who claim (and actually believe) they are God’s chosen ministries, but aren’t. Once you get out, and I pray you do, it will be hard. You will question yourself. You will feel like you did something wrong. And you’ll be scared God will punish you. But He won’t. And then you’ll start to heal. And then you’ll look back on all this with increased clarity and see how crazy and ungodly it is. Please go to your husband in the softest spirit posible, pray beforehand, and ask him with everything inside of you to go get outside help from someone who can walk y’all through this. Because you need to leave. And it would be best if the two of you could come into agreement on this. I know. Easier said than done. But getting it done isn’t impossible. You will get through this and you will get through it with you marriage in tact. 🤍👍

    • @banelemcin
      @banelemcin ปีที่แล้ว

      @@AaronJDaigle Thank you so much!! I feel the right thing to do is leave because it’s so toxic. I prayed all night and God told me to say my goodbyes. I’m spoke with my husband and he said we should continue going but he had already seen all the red flags but mostly because Only the Pastor and his wife(the prophetess) are in a leadership role. There are no other leaders. I told him about meetings i’ve been called to and told to not tell him about which God strictly told me to share with him but he still thinks we should stay. Do i take my kids(two girls) and leave and allow him to keep going alone(i believe this is only because he still wants to see some business deals through).

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      If at all possible, yes take your kids out too. But do it in agreement with your husband, not in conflict. If your husband sees the problems in the spiritual side of things, why does he trust them with business deals? Shady here, shady there. If he hasn’t done so already and is willing, perhaps you two could watch through the videos on this church Hurt playlist. Use them to spark dialogue between the two of you, and come up with a game plan (hopefully an exit strategy) together. Ideally, we don’t want one spouse in a cult and the other out. That’s not a recipe for long term success. I will put your guys to prayer over the next few days.

    • @banelemcin
      @banelemcin ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@AaronJDaigle Thank you so much🙏🏽. We’ve watched the videos. I’m hoping he says something soon but he recognises my feelings and is ok with me and the kids leaving. I will keep praying about the business dealings😔🙏🏽

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Sounds good. Many blessings to you and your family. My prayers are with you. Keep the faith and may God lead you on.

  • @dougarters2691
    @dougarters2691 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Luke 22:25-26.

  • @pastorsimonshahbaz2212
    @pastorsimonshahbaz2212 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Im from Pakistan

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well if your culture is as good as your food then I’m sure its amazing!

  • @rodericksmith1482
    @rodericksmith1482 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Exactly.... Going through this stuff right now

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Not an easy season of life to be in. I pray God give you direction.

    • @rodericksmith1482
      @rodericksmith1482 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@AaronJDaigle me too. Plus I'm new there and I just want to do the right thing. It does trigger my anxiety nowadays. I'm thinking maybe I should just take a month away and just personally sit with God.

  • @mellymartinez7996
    @mellymartinez7996 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for sharing!!!! unfortunately, this is something that is happening more and more often. I pray that the Latino community will also open up and speak their truth.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you! And yes, el abuso no discrimina 👍

  • @juliemoss1517
    @juliemoss1517 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Gaslighting

  • @victoriaarmstrong6498
    @victoriaarmstrong6498 16 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I was told since my husband and I were leaving their church I would be responsible for my husband’s downfall.
    Telling everyone on the pulpit the qualifications to be a Sunday school teacher and denying me the position because I supposedly did not take all of the classes. I retook the classes and was still denied.
    The biggest one was the pastor’s wife commenting on my Facebook post that our marriage was unauthorized after my husband and I made our announcement of our marriage.
    So much control, unfairness, and fakeness

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      As to your first paragraph, witchcraft. The second paragraph, passive aggression. The third, overstepping the confines of pastoral authority. And the fourth, sounds like it.
      I’m sorry you had to go through this.

  • @nickbarton3191
    @nickbarton3191 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    There only 3 ways to leave this church.
    1. Sent for a purpose with leadership's anointing
    2. Allowed to leave with leadership's blessing
    3. Just leave (implied disapproval of leadership)
    I just left.
    And actually, so did the lead elder.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      That’s usually the options. Although in most cases, option 3 is the only one on the table.

  • @gabrielamontenegro8090
    @gabrielamontenegro8090 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Goodness a lot of these signs reminds me of UPCI church I remember one day I went to church at UPCI church and the preacher said to the congregation “listen you will never be more spiritual than your pastor” I thought it sounded like a red flag even though I couldn’t think of scripture to back up why that didn’t sit well with me 🚩

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well suffice it to say, that should not have set well with you. (There are certain responsibilities a pastor fulfills in the body of Christ that others won’t fulfill. just like in a company, every person has their role. But that doesn’t mean “more spiritual.” It simply means different)

  • @kieranswift9427
    @kieranswift9427 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    if you understand the Bible you realise there are no pasters apostles or any man has control over you 2 Tim says a lot then on to universal salvation the bible metions the word ALL and ALL will be saved but some as through fire, chose to believe the massive thing that he acheived on that cross. God was in christ reconciling the word unto himself not not imputing their tressprasses unto them 2 cor5:19 1 Tim 2:4 who (GOD)will have ALL men to be saved, and come to the knowledge of the TRUTH.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes, no body has control over you. Yes, Christ died on the cross that all would be saved. It’s up to each individual to accept that sacrifice and become saved. God wants everyone to do so. Not everyone will unfortunately.

  • @guardianmeister6650
    @guardianmeister6650 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    here are some methods/techniques i've watched:
    -preacher speaks in a such a way that his sanctification is ASSUMED IN PERPETUITY while everyone else's sanctification is QUESTIONED IN PERPETUITY (this is a way of creating hierarchy by "tipping the see-saw"
    -"he's a great man of God" ... another hierarchical see-saw technique ... i've watched so many "great men of God" with zero afflictions of Christ who are only buoyed upward socioeconomically from ministry money ... consider the fact that before he came to Christ, saul of tarsus was only going up socioeconomically and after he came to Christ Paul the Apostle only went down socioeconomically
    -using johnnie to shame jimmy (usually johnnie is a shameless yes-man)
    -partner with a ministry that feeds the poor (this way you have no idea what anyone's heart for the poor is really like and the guy implementing that can completely obscure the fact that he has zero heart for the poor) ... contrast that with the man who IS THE MINISTRY THAT FEEDS THE POOR and who has a light in his eye and a spring in his step in remembrance of the poor
    however, perhaps the sneakiest means of abuse has to do with all the counsel of God that is WITHHELD in the preaching while men prepare sermons with their own carefully crafted agendas and personal ambition embedded in them ... the whole counsel of God puts everything in its proper perspective and makes it between difficult and impossible to implement personal agenda in preaching ... the one passage in the NT that speaks to this in the most concentrated form is in Acts 20 ... give it a good read, line by line, paying attention to every detail of what Paul says to the Ephesian elders
    finally, prepared sermons are a setup for the flesh and the wolves ... i am beginning to become firmly convinced that the best preaching is actually spontaneous ... see Steven's sermon in Acts 7 and Paul's sermon at Mars Hill (Acts, forget the chapter) ... both were completely spontaneous and delivered out by the leading and control of the spirit without personal ambition or agenda

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You’ve brought up some certain tactics used, mostly the ones from the pulpit. One would hope the pulpit, even more than the church itself, would be safe. In many places, it is. In some, not.

  • @cheriecarpenter3529
    @cheriecarpenter3529 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I went through literally years abuse and hindrance in my ministry. For sever tears my husband and I traveled in ministry foryears, then at the end ofwould help in the ministry what w kit, but the situation

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Hey Cherie. It sounds like you guys experienced a lot of heartache on your journey while traveling through the years to do God’s work. I pray you find your footing after what you’ve been through. And that the ugly in others not stifle the good in you and your husband.

  • @hanichay1163
    @hanichay1163 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    When I had a legit question after a lifetime of unthinking service and obedience, a church leader said to me, quit studying the gospel so much and go home and iron your husband’s shirts.” Classic!

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      If they’d read the gospel themselves, they’d know that a woman’s role in society far surpasses ironing shirts.

  • @JonCardwell-u7u
    @JonCardwell-u7u 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    There is a pesto in Montgomery Al who has completely compromised my identity bank account my YMCA membership and I told him I was a victim of molestation when I was younger and he kept on. My daughter Anna grace cardwell went to agape baptist church in Jackson county al and someone said something to her and she didn't want to go back. I've been to three of those here iin Montgomery Al. I'm 48 years old. I have been involved twice too. Over a dispute like this with people who were after a storage unit of my heirloom after all these years. I was adopted. In 1975 in north Carolina and people I've known ally life after the woman died that adopted me Saud they hated me my entire life. Sad

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      What you have experienced is not just spiritual abuse, it is criminal. Particularly the first sentence you wrote. I’m really sorry you’ve had to go through these things. Given your childhood context on top of that, it’s not an easy experience to endure.

  • @SuperMichelleDJ
    @SuperMichelleDJ 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I don't dislike Jesus. I dislike the followers of Jesus. The people who say they follow Jesus but really they don't. It's not Jesus doing the wrong thing. It's the people who represent Jesus or say they represent him, that does the wrong thing. People are welcome to twist it around and say that it's a reflection on me, but that just proves my point even further because I'm not talking about myself. If I was, I would be saying stuff directly about myself. I'm not stupid and I wasn't born yesterday.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Hey Michelle! Thank you for sharing your ideas and contributing to the conversation. While you may be mixing two vastly distinct groups of people into one (those who love God, serving Him from a legitimate place of respect for what He teaches and those who profess Christianity with no actual life transformation to accompany their claims), I would not think that you are the problem. You’re simply stating a problem for what it is.

  • @annaburns2865
    @annaburns2865 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Too many people blame God when they should be blaming people. We respect the church as Gods bride, but that doesn’t mean that it’s infallible. And more so, we are all Gods bride, not just church staff.
    Church staff isn’t any more the church than you.
    They are just the ones making money off of it.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes, we are all God’s fallible church

  • @chiquitora82
    @chiquitora82 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Wow this is exactly what I’m going through in my church. I made a decision to not go back to this church but I am in a difficult dilema because my husband decided he will continue to attend along with our children. I ask that you please help me pray and if you have biblical advice that goes with my current situation please share it with me.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I am truly sorry to hear that you’re having to go through this. The challenge you’re experiencing in your home as a result isn’t easy to navigate. It’s hard to offer advice off the cuff without full context. I do one-on-one coaching if you’re interested in working through this together. If so, use the email in the description to connect rather than a reply here on the comments. I will pray over you and your family whether I hear from you there or not. It’s a delicate situation and I trust God will guide you and your family through this.

  • @biblethumper1624
    @biblethumper1624 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    BRO: You said, "I free you, I free you." BUT you never said I free you "in Jesus name. That's not good, Bro!

  • @MarshLady-tj6if
    @MarshLady-tj6if 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I was told that my depression is sin in an evangelical church and was told by a Catholic therapist that I was not in a state of grace because of anxiety, depression and a freeze response due to trauma. Thank God for videos of correct information.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Thank you for sharing your story. And I’m sorry. If I may offer an idea, something we tell our clients in our mental health facility, it’s not “your” depression. It’s “the” depression. It’s hard to explain it here the way we do in session, but in a nutshell, you struggle with something that affects you. But it’s not who you are. This small change in wording makes a lot of difference in people who struggle with depression. So I’m just hoping to be a blessing to you in that.

  • @hybridmastiff
    @hybridmastiff 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I left a pentecostal church because they were very controlling. God delivered me from a drug and alcohol addiction then gave me the desire to become a counselor to help others out and testify to them but pastor said no I couldn't go to college to become a counselor. We had to ask permission before doing anything. If we disobey our pastor we were out of the umbrella protection from God

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I’m glad you’re out. And I hope you’ve gone get that counseling degree. There are addicts and hurting people out there who are depending on you to fulfill God’s purpose on your life.

  • @atamani725
    @atamani725 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Preach on JC Cleansing of Temple...it will back fire on you, like it did on me 😁 cos Leadership claimed i referred to them...

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Sometimes people hear what’s preached through the eyes of their own guilt

  • @yirmeyahuM
    @yirmeyahuM 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you so much for this. I need help. Do you provide 1-on-1 counseling?

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Hey Jeremy. I do 1-on-1 coaching. There’s an email in the video description. Hit me up. Looking forward to walking this out together.

  • @parislekoko4412
    @parislekoko4412 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    How to leave a church in a right way after you have noticed some of the things you mentioned and in your spirit you feel it's time to go?

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      In normal circumstances, I’d encourage you to meet with the pastor and tell them. One meeting. Then leave. But in extremely unhealthy cases, that may not be possible. At least without some grand fiasco ensuing. In that case, I would use an email. Send them a message stating your decision. Don’t respond to the games if they reply with questions to suck you in. Also, if you are responsible for certain departments/areas of ministry, make sure they have what they need to continue without you (passwords, item locations, etc), but only to a moderate degree. It’s not your job to fully fulfill and train your position out. It’s hard to say exactly without context but this is the gist of how I’d handle it. I truly hopes this helps.

  • @iamafollowerofChrist
    @iamafollowerofChrist 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I had a similar experience. It was in a very difficult period in my life and I decided not to attend for a few weeks on Sundays because I wanted to concentrate on my last exam at university. So I disconnected from phones and social media. They didn't accept this, they saw it as putting Jesus in the background (yet on the contrary my bond with Jesus intensified during the period of isolation) and after about a month they blocked me and removed me from the church. I don't think it was Christian behavior because instead of talking to me about what was bothering them, they opened up behind my back and together decided to throw me out without even asking me how I was. This is what happens when you have a cold and merciless arrogant leader in a church who always thinks he is right. The doctrine was right but the attitudes were wrong.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      This is wrong on so many levels. I’m truly sorry you had to experience this. Moses spent 40 years in the desert, Jesus 40 nights. Just 2 of many examples of God ordained, temporary seasons of isolation. What’s worse, even if they were right (which they weren’t), you don’t handle it like that. Jesus said to confront them, not to gossip about them. At the end of the day though, I must say. I love your profile name here on the platform. They took a lot from you, but not your relationship with Christ.

    • @iamafollowerofChrist
      @iamafollowerofChrist 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@AaronJDaigle yes absolutely. Thank you so much for you response and God bless u. I was so hurt that I didn’t sleep that night but now I know that the only thing that matter is Jesus Christ. I love your channel btw keep going my brother ☺️

    • @iamafollowerofChrist
      @iamafollowerofChrist 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@AaronJDaigle and also they use the excuse that church is the body of Christ so I didn't have to abandon it because it's as if I had put Jesus on hold... totally nonsense

  • @sallynhlanhla
    @sallynhlanhla 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My husband and wish to connect if you guys can. We are in South Africa. Thank you brother

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Hey Sally! Thank you for reaching out. Please, email me using address in the video description with a brief overview of what you’re looking for.

  • @yakojjy
    @yakojjy 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My brother was on drugs and he went to a Christian rehab and they are doing this stuff to him. He has been there for almost 5 years and no plan to leave.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Wanted to add, I’ve prayed for your brother during this season - that God will help him. And direct him. Next time you see him, with him my best!

  • @madelynhernandez7453
    @madelynhernandez7453 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My pastor told me that my horrific trials and problems are all in my head and I am bringing them about.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I wouldn’t know how to respond to that without context. Do know that I hear what you’re saying and I care.

  • @DenshaOtoko2
    @DenshaOtoko2 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It's the church vs the world. There is no point in life for our home is in heaven not earth.

  • @healingstreams1663
    @healingstreams1663 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I was hindered by music leaders but I felt God put me under hard leadership at times to refine me.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      There’s a lot of wisdom in what you just said. Church hurt is real. It is wrong. But God allows us to walk through some very real and very wrong circumstances to prune us into His image. Carry the cross 👍

  • @heatherk886
    @heatherk886 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Im struggle with this im praying for the will of God i feel defeat and hopeless

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I am so sorry to hear this. God is not the author of confusion. When you are in His will, you will have a peace about it. I have often found that when I am restless, questioning God's will in prayer, vacillating - that I am outside of the will of God. He will lead you by confirming in your spirit if you're in the right place. And He will lead you out by impressing on your spirit that you need to leave. Heather I know this may not be all you need (it's obviously hard to process this out typing) but I will pray for you today, that God give you clarity and help you find victory. And hope again.

  • @lW9497
    @lW9497 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Please list the 6 points in the description. Good Work!

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Done. I went back and put the timestamps for easy navigation 👍

  • @DenshaOtoko2
    @DenshaOtoko2 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Another pastor said that I have an attitude problem and to fall in line.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Whether you have an attitude or not, idk 🤷‍♂️ I wasn’t there. But we’re to align with God, not fall in like behind someone else.

  • @spiritwalker6153
    @spiritwalker6153 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I have experienced most all of which you speak. Especially the current pastor telling me, in not so many words, that he is better equipped and more knowledgeable about the Scriptures. He has also told me that I am divisive and that the vision that God gave me for a dynamic men's ministry was not from God. He has called me lazy and deceitful yet he was anything but truthful to me when we hired him on as our pastor.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This is not an easy situation to be in. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this and pray that God give you clarity as to how to move forward.

    • @spiritwalker6153
      @spiritwalker6153 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@AaronJDaigle I have moved forward. I have found a new church that is much more scriptural and the pastor does not seem as controlling. God is good even in the difficult times.

  • @OhGosh360
    @OhGosh360 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Wise words from someone with a lot of experience in the matter...

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you. 🙏

  • @AlexanderDunn-cj5me
    @AlexanderDunn-cj5me 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Trouble is that once you see it you cant unsee it and it makes you question Gods word.
    Everything you mention i had it worse than you.
    Maybe we should talk.....

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Man it sounds like you went through a lot with this. God’s Word actually reveals that these things will happen. In some ways, church hurt can offer more evidence that God’s Word is true. I pray you walk into even more of God’s perfect will for your life despite the circumstances you’ve had to endure.

    • @AlexanderDunn-cj5me
      @AlexanderDunn-cj5me 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@AaronJDaigle Thanks I didn't end up losing my faith but I have met the wolves in sheepskin clothing.

  • @chiquitora82
    @chiquitora82 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I told my pastor that I would not continue to accept the manipulation and that I was not coming back to the church and he said I was going to destroy myself because I needed to be internally healed… I rebuked this prophesy from him in prayer before we actually had this meeting

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      While this was not easy, I’m sure you’re super proud of yourself for taking this stand. You have a backbone which is why you ended the abuse. I like to think of it this way… the devil has no right to prophesy to me. Sounds like you maintain the same philosophy.

    • @chiquitora82
      @chiquitora82 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@AaronJDaigle Amén

  • @juliuscaesar6748
    @juliuscaesar6748 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My own earthly father did some of these things.

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You know, I didn’t hit any of this from a family dynamic. Focused on churches. But tomorrow I’m putting out a video of how control and manipulation play out in the home. As with the church, it’s sad that this happens. But it unfortunately does. I’m truly sorry to hear that you experienced these things with your own father in your own home.

  • @amberfelis3078
    @amberfelis3078 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for sharing. So much!

  • @juliemoss1517
    @juliemoss1517 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    If they hurt your kids, leave

  • @marygarrett9724
    @marygarrett9724 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I was told the devil is using me

    • @AaronJDaigle
      @AaronJDaigle  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sometimes, that’s what the devil says to us through the mouths of the people he’s actually using.(And sometimes it is us. I wouldn’t know without context. So please, take my thought as a grain of salt)