How You Can Support a Loved One Through Cancer | Diane Thomas | TEDxEustis
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ก.พ. 2020
- In this insightful talk, recorded at TEDxEustis 2020, Diane Thomas brings compassion and gentle humor to the moment a friend says “I have cancer.” Drawing from experience as a survivor, Thomas details strategies you can utilize to support your friend and the things you can say or do that will help you not only mean well, but do well.
Diane Thomas holds two research degrees, and has nearly a decade's experience in both the mortgage industry and in human resources reporting and analytics. Since becoming a financial advisor several years ago, she has been able to combine her two great loves, research and math, with a lifelong commitment to service. She finds deep satisfaction in working with individuals to help them understand the unique pieces of their goals and how they fit together into a coherent whole. Having encountered various personal challenges along the way, Diane is passionate about leveraging experience to positively impact the next conversation and the people with whom she comes in contact. Her husband of 16 years has the near-impossible task of preventing her from volunteering too often, and tolerates her continuous "Have you ever wondered..." questions. Their energetic daughter keeps them both tired and amused, and is the light of their lives. Diane Thomas holds two research degrees, and has nearly a decade's experience in both the mortgage industry and in human resources reporting and analytics. Since becoming a financial advisor several years ago, she has been able to combine her two great loves, research and math, with a lifelong commitment to service. She finds deep satisfaction in working with individuals to help them understand the unique pieces of their goals and how they fit together into a coherent whole. Having encountered various personal challenges along the way, Diane is passionate about leveraging experience to positively impact the next conversation and the people with whom she comes in contact.
Her husband of 16 years has the near-impossible task of preventing her from volunteering too often, and tolerates her continuous "Have you ever wondered..." questions. Their energetic daughter keeps them both tired and amused, and is the light of their lives. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
To those who have a family member or a friend with cancer,.just be there, no judgement, no pity, be patient, be kind... Just be there for them.
I found out last month that I have a glioma brain tumor. Two weeks ago, I was informed that the biopsy revealed that it is a grade 4 glioblastoma, and that I have a year, at the most. When I first found out I had a brain tumor, with the strong possibility of it being cancerous, my "friends" and family acted all supportive.
They would tell me, "Oh, we need to get together next week!" or "Do you want to do something (insert day of the week here)?" Time and time again, I would either get an excuse as to why they couldn't meet up with me, or they simply ignored me. I'm dying, and the people I thought were close to me treat me as though I'm already dead.
I'm not afraid to die. The only thing that scares me is the thought of leaving my baby girl without a dad, and without emotional and financial support. She doesn't deserve to lose her daddy at such a young age. I don't deserve to be treated as if I'm already dead. Most people turn into heartless monsters, when they find out you're dying. If I didn't have my daughter, I would have already killed myself. But I would never do that to her.
If you know someone with cancer, a simple phone call or an invitation to dinner would mean the world to them. No one with cancer deserves to be shunned and ignored.
I am so sorry to know that friends started to avoid you instead of helping
This makes me so sad. I've faced the same with my terminal cancer diagnosis last year. Sending you strength and Angel hugs. 💖💖💖
Rosehart Studio prayers for you🙏
@@calebosbourne9677 thank you. My angels are with me and my treatment is working. I'm working within on many things but it tough with so much going on but I'm trying my best as the four agreements recommend and I am desperately trying not to take it personally as well. I think facing englightenment with a full plate is how I'm supposed to roll. 😊💖👼
Thank you 🙏 I am sorry your friends are unskilled how to be with your cancer. Much love and prayers.
Thank you. As a person battling cancer for the second time we need to have these conversations. ❤️
Cancer? I haven't had a decent fight in a while
May the lord keep u in his protection
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that everyone who believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.
@@henryplays6251 oh, another jesus beater!
Thank you. Great talk. I’m calling my friend now to ask what day I can bring dinner. And will lay off the medical focus!
Was it a good idea?
To all the friends who want to support, do not judge, it is better to just listen, offer helps needed without them asking and give a hug. When I found out my mom has ALL leukemia, my husband tried to comfort me by saying my mom's type of cancer's survival rate is high. I know he had good intention but I feel absolutely isolated when I heard what he said. Cause when you make a judgement like that, I feel you are saying "OK, this is no biggie. So you can handle it on your own". Also, later on I read a paper and found out that my mom's leukemia's survival rate is only 10%( cause she is over 50 years old and has ph+). So do not judge even if you thought it is "good news"! Be patient, be kind, take actions to care, not just sit there and say "Let me know if you needs help".
As a mom of a cancer survivor… I cannot thank you enough for sharing this! Such good information we are working so hard to help others now who have to walk the same walk, thank you for this content!
I got full thyroidectomy. Radiation therapy is undergoing. Motivation is what makes me keep going.
Wonderful! Practical and to the point. I agreed cancer is a process that may last many years. The treatment. Chemotherapy and/or Radiotherapy and other adjuvants have horrific side effects and complications also depend of the individual own body and chronic conditions.
Worthy!
Thank you, it is very helpful to know to offer help in a way that will be not overwhelming.
Thank you for sharing your story and your hints of how to approach close ones affected by cancer. Just thank you.
Cancer? I need a good fight
Cancer is something that I would never wish on anybody. I fought it myself, as did many of my loved ones. It also stole way too many good people from my life. It sure as heck sorts out your fake friends. So many can't run out of your life fast enough.
I still dont.understand why they run away, ignore you when you are sick and vulnerable. That happened to me and it was hard.
@@carpediem8752 A lot of people are fair weather friends, sadly. I'm sorry that you went through it all. I hope that you are doing okay now.
The blessing is that you find out who cares about you. I went through this myself. It does hurt though.
@@arteblack13 Yes indeed you do. I see it as the thing that opened up my eyes to people and their motives, so I'm grateful.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that everyone who believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.
Diane is amazing!
Excellent and well addressed topic. I suffer from chronic autoimmune disease and can totally relate to the subject and I think your suggested discussion points can fit to other diseases as well, not just cancer.
Are you turning to stone?
Mario Janušić Certain autoimmune diseases are caused by dairy
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that everyone who believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.
I have chronic autoimmune diseases as well as many other chronic health conditions and disabilities. I agree with you. I have cancer now and it’s no different for me…
Great talk. Life is always changing and it is awesome to see you thriving in the face of challenges and change. I really took away some solid points, not just about talking cancer but in dealing with life in general. Don't forget the Flipper's double cheese and green bell peppers as an very occasional treat. Best to you and family.
You helped me so much with your advice, thanks, I wish you the best!
thank you for this incredible lesson ... of have heart failure and just got a transplant.
its the same mechanism for people suffering from serious chronic illness.
people have no idea how to react to illness ... and sometimes we are expecting things they don’t actually know how to give. it’s really hard not to judge them badly for it, but I try as hard as I can.
thank you for also addressing the question of is jeter people’s struggles, I keep on telling my friends « it’s not a competition » but it’s hard for them to understand that we actually want to hear about their everyday struggles and victories, just as we used to.
Completely agree. I was born disabled and over the years I have developed other chronic health issues. Now I have cancer but I am being treated no different than before. No one knows how to react… not saying they’re bad people though. ❤ Hope you are doing well.
Phenomenal message.
My boyfriend was diagnosed with lymphoma at the end of November & is about to be done with his last round of chemo. I wish I had known some of these things because I know I made mistakes or didn’t support him in the way he needed.
I'm a recent survivor myself of throat cancer. You really do care, you just didn't know how to express it. Many people in my life were like that. I don't hold it against them. Cancer is an extreme and personal issue both for the patient and loved ones. Remember, we don't have to be perfect. Bless your kind heart.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that everyone who believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.
@@arteblack13 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that everyone who believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.
Thank you very much for sharing!
This is inspiring. Thank you so much 🙏
This was extremely helpful!
Thank you Diane! Love you, Vicki
Thank you for the talk x
Well said
Since I knew I have cancer.. I didn't have peace.. alot of confusion problems from my home.. it have been more then a year now.. I feel I want to leave everything.. no mercy on this world.
I wish people would understand that every cancer is different. Don't think that you know because you had cancer....My treatment is VERY different than others. I'm unable to work, I require home health care for over a week after each infusion. I need help going to the bathroom and eating. I have 14 months of this, in addition radiation and multiple surgeries. Just because you had cancer doesn't mean you know what another person with cancer is going through. So happy for those who had a simple lumpectomy and went back to work, I wish that was me but it's not.
Ty
Word to your mother sweety
A nice option to see how I can help, for real. It is still So hard
Nice
I didn’t want her to stop talking
❤
Going through this now with mom i try to not bring up the cancer talk so much just act regular laugh joke etc sometimes talking about it all the time is draining
alt yazı ekleseniz, daha çok insana ulaşasanız ii olmaz mı bu tür videolarda.
The amount of views says it all
Resonance therapy, the hope for end-cancer patients
Professor Tan Jiewen, Department of Rehabilitation, Sun Yixian Affiliated Hospital of Sun Yat-sen University, Guangzhou, uses energy-reflex belts to help end-stage cancer patients; no morphine, no pain in three days; normal life after three months.
Lütfen videoları altyazılı şekilde hazırlayın.
Cancer? Good. I haven't had a good fight in a while.
*..കമന്റ് തൊഴിലാളീ കീ......*
Like from kerala,INDIA
4930
Hi god
Where da captuon sweety
What causes cancer?
Carcinogen agents
I believe it to be caused by irregularities in dna after being replicated improperly, normally after being replicated a great amount of times, causing uncontrolled rapid cell division.
It's a matter of chance, mostly. But smoking, drinking and bad eating habits increase the chances drastically. And by "drastically" I mean that some cancer types develop multiple times more often. But the chances are still very low.
@@whitewizard7514 that's a perfectly valid answer, but I don't think that was the point of the question)
💙
3rd comment
ΓΕΓΟΣ οι
Cool I'm number one
What do you say? Sure, but explain why?
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Hello tech support?
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that everyone who believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.
2 years to late. :(. Sorry.
Damn these comments are full of sad and/or weak . When god pulls your card it's time dont be afraid
No it's not full of sad and weak people. All spirituality teaches kindness, compassion and unconditional love without JUDGEMENT. We create our own karma through cause and affect of our actions, thoughts and words. Toltec wisdom teaches the four agreements the first of which states we must be impeccable with our words. We should not use them against ourselves or others as we do ourselves a disservice. My nan always said if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it. Freedom of speech does not excuse ignorance, bad manners or poor keyboard equiette. We are all part of one concious collective here to learn our karmic lessons in life. When the creator throws us a challenge we get to choose our mindset and how we proceed through freewill, making peace with it. And we take away from it, grow and learn. I absolutely know my angels, the divine, ancestors and spirit guides are protecting me and will be there when it's my time, because they answered my prayers. I have no fear of death, no one should, its just the beginning. But I also had to go through this to show people there's no such word as terminal. Because I am healing, blessed, miracle, Destiny? yes, or maybe we have the answers within us to heal. Death and rebirth. Death is a stripping away of all that is not you, so that you may become your authentic self and the person you were destined to be. To become awake to the illusion that is the plain in which we exist. The secret to life is to die before you die. And not be so full of ego and drama that we think we can possibly have all the answers and comprehend the meaning of our existence. May you find peace, love and kindness in your heart and may you be blessed with discernment. 'Judge not lest, ye be judged'. To judge another person shows pride. Only God knows what is in a person's heart and the effort it takes to function there. Let us stop passing judgement on one another. Instead make up your mind, not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.
@@rosehartstudio holly guacamole
wow ... how can anyone be so full of hate ? must be grueling for you.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that everyone who believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.
@@rosehartstudio For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that everyone who believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.
A lot of Bull she...