How Do I React To My Best Friend Being Diagnosed with Cancer? | Kristien Hemmerechts | TEDxHilversum
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ธ.ค. 2016
- And then the diagnosis hit her hard: breast cancer. But not just her, Belgian author Kristien Hemmerechts, it also impacted her friends, family and fans. But in a different way than she expected. Quickly she found out that it is a binary world out there: those of the healthy people and those who have cancer. This translates in the awkward situations, and Kristien feels we can all learn from her experience.
And then the diagnosis hit her hard: breast cancer. But not just her, Belgian author Kristien Hemmerechts, it also hit her friends and family and students* and neighbours and fans and other people who know her. But in a different way than she expected. Quickly she found out that it is a binary world out there: those of the healthy people and those who have cancer. She discovered that people found it very difficult to cope with the situation. More difficult than she expected. “The unclearness of the situation has to do with it”, she says. “You do not look ill, you do not act ill. You do not feel ill. But there is a devastating disease in your body at work and you are terrified.” When Kristien lost two sons, reactions were warm. “We can all relate to that. And the response is accordingly.” Her mentally ill sister always told her: “Kristien, you have no idea what it feels like to have a mental illness”. Kristien: “I understand that better now.”
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
My best friend has cancer and my heart hurts so bad, to their face I’m strong brave and not showing how upset I am, but behind closed doors I’m so scared and worried
Thank you , thank you, thank you !! Many people should watch this. Every time I bring up my cancer its usually "You don't look like you have cancer" or " Everybody has something wrong with them" ... Its awful how people can be so heartless and act like they're invincible.
My best friend a week ago was diagnosed with very advanced cancer. She'd had no warning, no symptoms, until all at once she did. Malignant ascites has already begun, multiple organs, distant lymph nodes. It's worse case scenario and horrible. I just keep telling her that unless the day comes that the doctors sit us down and tell us they've exhausted all options then we won't focus there and instead will hope for a miracle. We'll hope the chemo works shockingly well. Even though she appears to be only the 10th ever person on recorded history with this presentation and the other 9 only lived weeks to 18 months post diagnosis the reality says she doesn't have long. We won't give up hope until they tell us. She's so young w such a young child they plan to do everything possible. Praying for a miracle.
I’m praying for your best friend’s safety and recovery
I met a friend at work. She’s the sweetest person you will ever meet. She told me she had leukemia. Even now I still don’t know how to feel, and how to talk about it. I try to be nonchalant about it when it’s brought up. I cry at home. When I see her I try to make her feel good. Making her cakes, driving 40 minutes just to see her. It’s hard to know how to act, or know if you’re doing the right thing
MY best friends at first where supportive, until I lost control of my life, my finances, my family, and ended up in a psychiatric hospital, and now they laugh at me and abandoned me. IAM SO DEPRESSED ND ANXIOUS BECAUSE of how it has affected my kids, and has destroyed our family, and we ae all bar 1 are in poverty
Let them Express their pain and just be there if it's to hold them or to sit by them just be there with them. I just got my diagnosis and I'd give anything if anyone would just stop being in denial about it so I can Express myself and openly and honestly talk with somebody. To not cause them "pain" when my insides feel like they are screaming yet the "dont talk about it as if it's going to go away" makes me panic that much more. No one wants me to talk about it or say that I'm scared of death or scared of the pain I must undergo aside from the healthy ups and downs that automatically come with it. JUST LET THEM TALK ABOUT IT!!! PLEASE DONT SHUT THEM UP OR MAKE THEM INTERNALIZE.
Have Stage 4A Ductal Prostate Cancer. Went into remission nine months ago but just today I had to get a MRI of my brain. Thank you for speaking how it feels to have (advanced) Cancer and the emotions associated with it. Family and friends are critical to staying sane. Sometimes you need a shoulder to cry on. You are correct, the ill said word hurts. To those people:
No prostate cancer is not the good cancer;
No, it is not my fault that it was not found until it already diagnosed (have a rare type that is hard to detect)
Yes, even though I have my hair I am still fighting for my life.
Update: The MRI found that I have an egg sized tumor. The battle continues...
No cancer is a good cancer. I wish you the best of health and the support you need.
I wish you all the best.
I will pray for you. 🙏
❤️🤲
I'll pray for you! I hope all is well. It's a super tough battle no matter the severity. Cancer sucks.
Absolutely adorable! Bravo!
Thank u for having this talk
I'm currently working through potentially having cancer. I might not have it but it's really looking like I do. I might send this to my friends. It's hard though cuz we're still kids and everyone we've known with cancer was our dead grandparents and people on TV. I want them to be sensitive but I also want to be sensitive of how they'll feel. It's hard for them but it's hard for me y'know?
thanks for this!
She speaks truth 100%
I completely agree with this, I have a friend who is going through this at the moment. We were living quite close to each other so I could come over and hang with her and be with her. However sadly we both had to move quite far apart and financially I am not that well off so I have not been able to see her. My weekends are filled with people coming over and visiting or travel or my daughters friends coming over then i’m working 12 hour days Monday - Friday. I’ve felt so guilty about not seeing her but I’m also struggling myself with a lot financially.
I was hoping she would get some news that the cancer is treatable but sadly I don’t think that is the case. I have been thinking about her a lot and bought her a gift to try and sort of keep her spirits up that aligns with her christian faith. But I didn’t send it as I wanted to add more to the gift. However I’m not even sure if it’s worth sending the gift now? Will it brighten her day or will it just be a useless piece of nothing in the grand scheme of things.
At what point do we step back as friends?? Or is this a selfish question, should I be taken work off for her?
We aren’t best friends but we grew close & I think she has a wonderful spirit and personality. How do I support her to the best of my ability with everything that is going on in my life?? Am I being selfish for saying that??
Can't you speak to her over the phone often?
Phone calls! And send a card now and then. We don't need more things.
Yes i received the bad news yesterday my boyfriend has liver cancer
I feel broken what should i do ?tell me please
Hanna Hanna how is he?
im so sorry how is he now?🥺
I react by giving my friend the cure.
.
Lmao based
She talked way too much without saying anything.
You ask for empathy however you are less than empathic towards those around you, who are also very confused and hurting with the situation. You were not capable to share with your friends how you were feeling they were failing you and now you talk to the whole world how everyone failed you. Not a very good friend also... maybe you need to review your definition of friends. I’d be very appreciative of everyone spending time thinking about me, even if it resulted in a 2 word email, which you don’t know (or care) but may e it required more effort and time than you value. you are being superficial, like only if it’s a book expressing how devastating your cancer is, than it has value... welcome everything people are willing to give and if not enough, be honest to your friends and family.
Be patient with a cancer patient please🙏