Things you HATE when you’re an INFJ
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ส.ค. 2020
- #infj #16personalities #mbti
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I hate to open up just to discover how superficial the person in front of me actually was.
Yes!!!!!
oooooh gooood don't even get me started on that
Yea this is an awful feeling indeed ~ Nathan
I hate to open up. Period.
Oh yeah that's called being "emotionally slutty" 😂 not a good feeling at all
Also being physically touched by not very close people.
Agree!
Yessss!!!! This is one good thing for me during the pandemic: no touching!!
I'm doing just fine during the covid crisis because nobody wants to touch me. 🥰
Oh interesting, I've never heard INFJs mention this one before but there seems to be agreement with it ~ Nathan
Agreed. I don’t enjoy hugging culture. It feels like fake closeness. A simulation of connection. It’s bollocks.
My bestie who is an INFJ said this: People don't love me because I'm nice to them, they love the version of them that I bring out. I make them feel comfortable and worthy of love. They love me because I make them feel loved.
But when they discover that I'm in love with helping people out in general and they are not special, I get called cold, cruel and manipulative at times, and that's what I hate.
Hmm... There must be something within that helping he does, that isn't pure, otherwise they wouldn't end up being hurt...
@@tillywontspeak 😂 maybe.
It's just that she'll make you feel like you're the best person in the world and so, naturally, a lot of people gravitate towards her.
She sounds more like an ENFJ
@@shazamohamadadam3420 I agree.
@@aaloobaingan9457 I think you're friend is an ENFJ. Seems more likely.
Other things that drives me mad:
1. When people don't say what they want, but you can feel that they want something.
2. When nobody knows what they want, but don't take any of my suggestions
Nickie Yes to 1. I’ve learned to accept its ok not to push them for the answer as they are probably trying to be polite by not speaking the truth.
2. Most people don’t know what they want (in business type projects, but they know IT when they see it.). If you show them IT, they will keep coming for your services.
Oh that drives me insane! My daughter is INFP and does this to me and it drives me nuts. I constantly tell her to just tell me what she wants without subtly implying it or beating around the bush. Just be straight up with us.
@@theveganvillainess2404 hahah my INFP little sister does the same 😂
What if what they want is none of your business?
Asking for a friend.
That’s called a hidden agenda....
These people usually think they are smart, but if they really are they shouldn’t be asking help anyway
Hypocrisy. In any and all forms, the more subtle , the more my rage will boil over
PM Lover soulmate.
We're all hypocrites though. It is merely impossible to not contradict yourself atleast a couple of times throughout your life. Saying that you are not a hypocrite, makes you a hypocrite. A person who isn't hypocritical is perfect. But guess what? Nobody is perfect. I think a better way to solve this dilemma, is to be more forgiving of hypocrisy. -INFJ
me too and I know we are all hypocrites to a degree but some are so blatant and carefree about it -urrrrggghhhh
Yes, I hate hypocrisy. But we all have our contradictions and blind spots that can make us act like hypocrites once in a while.
Some people at least try their best to not act like that. And they do acknowledge it when they are being dishonest and try to improve from that.
Others don't. And I think that is the kind of hypocrisy I truly hate is when it is blatant hypocrisy with a lack of integrity.
True.
infjs are the kind of people who flirt without realizing it lmao. they don’t intend to but nobody gets that some people are just very sweet and comforting. i always get scared people think i like them but im really just being myself 😂
Me too.
All my friends of my first year of middle school can confirm LMAO.
Out of Jokes:
In my first year of middle school, everyone thought I was flirting with my only two friends. Also, the past year my classmates thought I was flirting with a boy in my class, also this year there's a boy they think I'm flirting with, they even thought I flirted with the boy that bullied me on elementary school. I literally can't interact with people without anyone thinking that I'm flirting
I GIVE UP
*Leaves and goes to eat a sandwich *
XD
Yes! I’m not telling people they’re special because I want them. I just like making people happy.
I think that might be true in a sense.
I agree 😊
I hate unfairness & injustices inequalities more than anything.
People(strangers or aquiantances) who invade personal space.
Fake & dramatic people.
People who disregard others without a reason.
-INFJ
These are great. The fake and dramatic people part is something I totally agree with, ultra-draining ~ Nathan
Haha are u a libra?
@@forest9132 Pisces
I agree with you on a another level people who are too dramatic draines my energy a lot
Fake, dramatic, personal space. PLEASE DON'T. HATE IT.
infjs are always uncomfortable when someone shows the same love they give to them back.
Whoa, whoa what?! Do you not know how rare that is?! That's the makings of a great friendship, minimum. That sh*t is gold.
Fr fr uncomfortable af
Agreed. That could just be my attachment style, though (fearful avoidant)
omg this! i get confused, uncomf, and surprised when someone reciprocates that instead of appreciating them more, i get cold.
Infj don't like being showed care ...they always want to be the one taking care of pple ...they feel they are stressing you ...its hard for an infj to accept love unless they love you first then u just hit jackpot
Drama Queens and Kings.. Their a complete waste of our limited Energy.
100%!
I see a lot of INFJs mentioning this one ~ Nathan
My ENFP self after reading this comment :*Does a small spin before dramatically fainting to the ground*
Any other INFJ here who sometimes feels like their friend is only hanging out with you because they want that feeling of being special by just being with you and are not necessarily there for you?
Wow, I imagine that a lot of INFJs agree with this one ~ Nathan
I wouldn't have any idea. I don't have any friends.
Angelus_Solus me too.. I’m good with everyone but I don’t have any close friend. Sometimes it’s sad and sometimes kinda refreshing.. I guess I’m not that important for someone. If I were to feel like been used I would become distant..
@@alis8095 I guess that's just it. I had a group of "friends" about 13 years ago, and a girlfriend even. I didn't realise it at the time, but I was just a source of one thing or another for them, and freely gave it because it made them happy. It all came to an end in the spring of '07 when I fell into a deep depression and my gf told me to leave because I was "being too negative". I had no idea what was happening to me and had no idea until two years later when I was diagnosed with schitzoaffective disorder. I ended up moving back to my mum's, who loaned me a small plot to set a tiny home on. I've been single and friendless since then. It gets lonely sometimes, especially when the darkness falls, and I have to compartmentalise my thoughts and feelings since I have no confidant to share them with, but it could be worse. I could be in a relationship where I'm constantly being used.
Is your profile picture from vampire Knight?
It is said that INFJ are quick to adapt to a new environment and are future oriented. But one thing I HATE is change! I hate it when my apps are updated without my permission. I don’t change my screen wallpaper. I don’t want to follow/unfollow new accounts on instagram. I don’t like it when someone doesn’t put something back in the right place because my brain panics and thinks that this thing has disappeared. I don’t like it when things are not where I expect them to be. Can any INFJ relate ro this?
my son the INFJ can!
I think it really depends on what kind of change we are talking about. INFJs love a change of scenery and routine occasionally, but those pesky everyday things to have to adjust to, that's that inferior Se difficulty with details, details, details. See if you don't relate to this (funny!), starting at 6:10 th-cam.com/video/-9SJrXRUsbg/w-d-xo.html
Lola To'lqinjonova what does that have to do with you not liking “change”? It has nothing to do with change. You don’t like things being done for you, you like to think for yourself and resent anyone and anything that tries to think for you. You resent that this can even occur with something like an app, because what this tells you, is that in order for the app maker to think they can get away with this, is because they ARE getting away with this, which also means other people don’t seem to give a shit about the underlying principle, which is that these app makers, are exploiting the fact that we probably won’t notice or even care enough to stop them, to some degree, and this, to us, is mindless. We see the big picture of the slippery slope that can come from any form of exploitation, and to us, this is wrong, on all levels, in principle. We value our personal liberties and the liberties of others. However, I do think change can be a challenging transition for INFJS, but I still think we seek change because of the greater rewards of personal growth that come with change. We perceive so much and to such a degree, that anything that alters our external environment is very disruptive at first, and for a while. But this is not like it the “transition” that comes with change at first, because we are very sensitive to all stimuli, that’s all, but is not at all a dislike of “change” itself. I think we value the concept of change very deeply, and this changes as we get older and more comfortable in our own skin.
Wow Thanks for your insight! I never thought about it from this perspective. Maybe as you said, I am not afraid of change and I simply hate when someone tries to change my “comfort”. I want to do everything my way.
more like, can Ni-Se relate?
INFJ insecurities and their perceptions of how they think they are perceived would be an interesting topic
'Insecurities" would actually be an amazing thing to talk about for each of the types. Thank you for this suggestion, I'm pretty sure I will go ahead and do this! ~ Nathan
@@lovewho thanks. It's funny how much just being considered is important to me and some other types. That might be an interesting topic as well 🤔
@@lovewho please do! I'd love to see it!
They are not insecure they are overly sensitive about the perception of others ...an infj would be very happy if they were the only person in the world...u have no idea how independent an infj is ...an infj doesn't care if they are alone
@@akintyo29 I think your perception of INFJs are heavily skewed then.
And that is why an INFJ that live with their siblings is a very tired INFJ.
Yesssss
Yup
100%
I dislike obligation from needy people. Depleted my energy. I will go above and beyond for them, but when they want more, I have no energy to give it.
Melanie H maybe it isn’t that you don’t have the energy to give it, but that you don’t want to waste your energy on what you can see is a pointless and futile use of time. That, as you get older, as an INFJ, is the actual truth. You aren’t going to participate in something that feels manipulative, and anyone who seeks so much externally, is obviously selfish, and it will never truly fill the massive hole inside of them.
Has Good Spot on. Agreed. I dislike obligation in general; It feels like manipulation of good will. I will give everything I have to those who do not demand it. I care deeply about people, but as I get older, I’m beginning to realise that the focus has been misplaced. I don’t believe in the betterment of the world anymore. I strive, and hope, but am beginning to accept the effort is futile.
The most crazy thing about being an infj is that people will call you sensitive even if they're clearly the ones who are sensitive. I constantly have to sugarcoat stuff so people won't feel hurt and rejected by me and even if I sugarcoat it in multiple layers and sprinkle it with candy powder they still get hurt. If someone asks me a favor I can't even say no without that person having a mental breakdown! And I'M the one sensitive?!
We live in a world we're up is down and down is up..
that sounds like a narcissistic person for sure, best to get away from them
The arrogant, and prideful person. Those folks who enter a social setting and begin to work their way up to Alpha status by identifying and manipulating the weak through words and body mechanics. Talk about messing with the harmony. When I sense this I begin the subtle work of opposing them. Opposing them passively if they’re the “obnoxious” person as you mentioned and aggressively if their actions and words stifle or subdue the talents and contributions of the meek. You nailed it with this video.
July of 78 we hate politics, gossip, social climbers. Networking.
Those reasons are why I hate Trump. I have no opinion of him as a president, because I have no political leanings, but as to what technically classifies him as a "human", he's a bigoted waste of oxygen and the reason why America is more divided now than it was during the War of The Great Secession. His own arrogance, inconsideration and greed are what fuelled it.
July of 78 I am assuming you also get the vibe straight by meeting them, then it churns in your stomach ?
So basically an unhealthy ESTP
Why is this so accurate? I really don't like arrogant behaviour, I hate it especially when you talk trash about other people, usually defenseless people or people who didn't deserve it. There's always this innate want to speak up for the victim and against the bully and put them in their place.
As an INFJ there's something very enjoyable in organizing chaos when mental energy is at a good level. I've been told that I'm good in fast paced situations because of this. On the same token - I'd rather not have to use these skills?
Exactly, there is an irony to it. Often it seems to be the case that people have skills, maybe even their strongest skills but have to operate from a place of discomfort in order to use them ~ Nathan
Things I hate:
- Disorder is one of the big ones, or yes, chaos. I can't stand disorganized people or environnements, and my first instinct is to immediately start organizing when confronted with disorder, either physically (by clearing and tidying the environment) or mentally/logically (by encouraging direction and planning a clear course of action). I don't tend to be a leader by default, but when I realize that everything is in chaos and no one knows what they're doing, I always step up and take control.
- Pushy people: people who can't take no for an answer, people who don't respect your boundaries, people who try to pry you open forcefully.
-Indecision. This one kind of relates back to disorder. When someone is initially indecisive about something, I don't mind it so much, because I'm also indecisive when I'm weighing my options. However, after I am given the impression that a decision has already been made about something, if you try to go back and start talking about the other options again, after we already discussed it in length, I will get very annoyed. Or, if the decision is just taking way too long to make, and the discussion starts to become circular, I'll also be very irritated. This can definitely be a downside in some situations, because whenever I make my mind up about something, it's a bit difficult to change it (especially if you're a pushy person).
- People who are just needlessly rude, cruel, or insensitive. For almost everything you do, there is a pleasant way to do it and an unpleasant way to do it. I don't like it when people choose the unpleasant way. If you're one of these people, you're usually instantly on my bad side. The only time I ever use the unpleasant way is when I've used the pleasant way so many times that I realize I need more extreme measures, AND only when the person has crossed my boundaries after I've made it very clear.
-Gossip, talking ill about other people behind their backs, making speculations about their thoughts or feelings, making assumptions about their life
- People making assumptions or judgements about me based on external factors, or really anything else that isn't warranted.
-Inconsiderate behavior. When people do things without thinking about how it may affect others
- Lastly, laziness. People not doing their job right, in particular. If you stay at home all day in your pajamas and read books or watch TV, I don't really care much (because I do that too), but I'm talking about if someone is paying you to do something and others are relying on you to do your job, and to do it well, you better do it.
Lulu Raheem you are my soul sister
I forgot a major one:
Talking to me with MY HEADPHONES IN. Just don't. Please. It's invasive and rude.
Infjs are not the tidiest pple dou 🏃🏽♂️🏃🏽♂️🏃🏽♂️ they are infact the most disorganised organised people...they may come off disorganised but in thier head is a calm and organized setting..they know where everything is and at work they may have files in different places and when they need them they would meticulously pick the pieces together only when the need arises
I think you were an isfj from your comment,infjs are not so good in day to day works and often unorganised because their se is on fourth slot....and they are good at procastinating because of their love for perfection...
@@adonai6256 @Akintayo Usman
For me, my head is a disorganized mess, that's why I need the order in my external environment. For perceivers, it's the opposite - their heads are more organized, that's why they don't mind their environments to be as messy. Also, I can be a major procrastinator, exactly because I am a HUGE perfectionist. I'm definitely not ISFJ, I know that I am an Ni dom for sure.
You reminded me of that time when I unapologetically and relentlessly flipped the switch on an obnoxious vibe disturber. The whole group became silent and drowned in shock because they have never seen me this vicious before. It was like they were watching a new unfamiliar movie genre lol. Great video as usual.
I've done that before too, lol
It's quite startling when INFJs do it to be honest since it seems to come from nowhere (aka the depths of hell) ~ Nathan
What specifically have you done?
the unexpected
Also as an INFJ, I rarely get angry but when I do, it is almost always a feeling of righteous indignation at injustice, mistreatment, or misunderstanding.
I hate when someone puts the spotlight on me in social situations. I never feel like I'm fully prepared to answer them in a way that they would understand. Like when someone obnoxiously asks "why are you so quiet", Especially when it seems like it comes from a place of personal attack or ridicule rather than actual curiosity. It just seems extremely rude to me when I feel like I have to explain myself, whilst I accept everyone else.
Vibe disruptor is a great term. I can't tell you how many times I've said, "Great! My day just got hijacked." I had plans with myself.
Could you give an example for vibe disrupters?
@@ashuranero5721 for me, someone who interrupts my alone time where I'm in a great mood, doing my thing, and I don't get to finish what I planned to do because they need me to do something else. Or when someone comes around in a bad mood and brings you down.
@@annland781 i can relate to this soo much. I don't even pick up my phone or will be hesitant to if I am in a middle of something. Whether it's something related to studying or even watching a movie!
Wasn't prepared for that level of accuracy. I am now flustered.
Well I'm glad to have...uh... flustered you? ~ Nathan
@@lovewho haha
I hate stinginess towards those in dire need, especially when the person is capable of helping but makes all sorts of despicable excuses for why they can’t or don’t want to. There is no excuse for letting someone go without necessities if it is within our power to help.
BTW, you’re right on with all those.
What do you do to those people?
The things we hate:
Conflict
Controversy
Chaos
Hypocrite
Immature
Unfairness
Unequal
Injustice
Bully
Authority(bad)
Gossip
Rude
Unnecessary drama
The people that challenge us
and lastly...
The people that hurt the one we love.(Absolutely hate it)
This might be related to "vibe disruption", but I get very frustrated when my internal world gets disrupted. For instance, when I walk my dog I use that as a time to just be in my head. I don't listen to music or anything like that. I just think about whatever it is that's on my mind. But every time another dog walker approaches, there's a kind of mandatory interaction. Sometimes we just nod and say hi, or sometimes the person will try and start a conversation with me. Either way, it breaks my thought stream and triggers me. It actually makes me angry. That person hasn't done anything wrong, but I can't help but feel annoyed at them. Basically, any situation where I'm happy in my head and someone yanks me out of it. I relate heavily to the things mentioned in this video as well.
Same!!!!
@@stephanieabutler It's super annoying right?! :P
Getting yanked out of my skull when I'm deep in thought is so jarring it's almost painful, and I've definitely roared at innocent people accidentally and then spiral into a thousand awkward apologies 😅
@@jaimiehorton9669 I think I'm too anxious to actually have a go at anyone, but it certainly does piss me off.
Probably the person is super fake... and you have to fake it too 🤣
I am an infj and often experience second hand embarrassment when I see people act stupid or ridiculous I feel so embarrassed as if I were the one causing the scene or the embarrassing situation🤷🏻♀️
The way he said "INFJs bad books....not a good place to be" lmao that's true tho
An infj taught the devil vengeance...when an infj comes for blood they get blood.. they would tear u apart to the smallest u can be .. if u offend an infj do well and avoid them totally...they never forgive or forget...and if an infj offends you you can capitalize on that for years cos they would always feel bad when u remind them
@@akintyo29 well I think u dont really an infj
people who talk about frivolous stuff all the time, or just try to fill up space with their words?
The worst! ~ Nathan
Yes! This is too accurate.
That was really accurate! I also hate making mistakes, waiting, stagnation, regress, wasting time, situations that I have to make fast decisions and be spontanous, my perfectionism because of which I do everything too slow... there is a lot of things like that :D
Perfectionism is definitely an issue for INFJs! ~ Nathan
Infj might be spontaneous...but trust me they have been planning things they do for years or months
An infj doesn't believe anything is a mistake they feel pple are like them and they think things through
I hate as an INFJ, that I can't help but mirror people. I don't really notice it until the interaction is over, and when I do notice mid-conversation, it's like i'm watching my body, mind, and mouth move on its own. I constantly pick up the mood of the people around me against my will, even when i'm not talking to them. It's also a pain to understand in life we're bound by a bunch of social cues. It feels like playing a big game or reading scripts.
Putting the two together as turned me into a people-pleasing marionette
When i'm completely alone, I feel like i'm most like myself. Energy goes up, it's like i'm hanging out with myself!
Unfortunately, there comes a point where I have to get back out there or get in touch with a friend so I don't become (more) insane, hahaha.
Currently we've been working on being comfortable with upsetting people & saying what i'm REALLY thinking. This year wasn't ending in vain!
I really hate when someone insists they are right, and then interrupts and talks over me before I can even get half of my explanation out as to why they were mistaken.
I also hate it when people jump to conclusions and (once again) insists they are right. And (once again) won't let me explain what I actually ment by what I said, because, ya know, they obviously know what I ment waaaaaaay better then I do. . . I'm not in a great mood at the moment.
Sincerely Guardian Blade.
I feel you man.
@@robertwindshade7629
Thank you.
YES, they don't let you finish your reasoning because they want to "beat you" in a conversation. You start like "I believe..." and they "but why? how did you came to that conclusion". LET ME TALK I WANT TO EXPRESS MYSELF. They don't respect you or other people.
I immediately had flashbacks when you were going on about obnoxious people.
One thing I absolutely hate as an INFJ, when people constantly ask me for help and they can't even say thank you and keep taking advantage of my kindness. This is where I have no problems being completely blunt with telling people to sort their own shit out.
My INFJ partner is a man of few words, so often well thought out and gentle. But if someone is disrupting the VIBE lord help us. He will slice you in half with as few words as possible. He also doesn't have time for those who disregard others' and seek only personal gain. One of my closest friends/family members is a fairly unhealthy ENTJ and they do not get along, to put it lightly.
What exactly does he do?
I hate people who gossip, and I hate people with stupid believes
Wish i could like this multiple times
Broken ENFJ female waltzing into my friend group, disrespecting the other females, being two faced and fake, going for the guys in the group even if they are taken, then pretending she doesn't know why she can't last in any groups after repeating this pattern so many times. She has now been ghosted without explanation. Enjoy your indefinite time-out.
That is one brutal Enfj
She sounds funny. Sign on the times with this generation's females. ENFJs can be real characters.
I've witnessed this a few times. It may seem confusing to other types as to why we wouldn't be ok with letting an ENFJ into our inner circle. It's only one letter, after all ! but such a huge difference between a healthy or semi healthy infj and unhealthy ENFJ
Agree with all of this, socially reckless people really piss me off because i try to be very thoughtful with words and actions. Its interesting though that i enjoy watching others be reckless in situations where they aren't hurting anyone socially or otherwise. Because even living in the moment is something that appeals to me and often something i lack because of low Se.
Amen to this! ~ Nathan
Yes, I try so hard to not hurt people or made them sad with my words and actions, because I want to give a good experience or advice, them I see people who don't care because they live only for their opinion withou any respect for others, and that just pisses me off.
omfg this made me happy cuz you actually mentioned us as being angry for once which others dont do. The vibe disrupters obnoxious ppl ugh.
Another thing, people who underestimate us.
As an INFJ I can't stand: A coward bully - one who picks on people because they know they will win. They are lowest of the low.
Agreed. I have absolutely no good will towards that sort of person. Anyone who perceives that they have an advantage over someone and then abuses it is scum.
Manipulative behaviour should be on the list too. Considering how we absolutely hate control and are kind of good at knowing where the person is coming from , being manipulative should be the last thing to try around us😅
I think INFJ type is one of those that can be manipulative a lot :) There are other types that hate control much more than INFJ's.
@@VilkanVisions People often hate traits they have themselves, so it would make sense that manipulative people hate other manipulators. INFjs also in this comment section mention they hate people who do not speak their mind. However, INFJ's hardly can have the tendency themselves to not speak their mind themselves. They just seek people who are different from what tehy're like themselves (which I think most of us actually desire)
@@PowerRedBullTypology There is a lot of true in what You are saying :)
u do know u can engage in emotional manipulation? it could be used for good tho, ..., i'm not saying u're lying or that ur half-statement is wrong, it's urs anyway, but do consider ALL manipulative behaviours.
@@VilkanVisions i kinda agree but i would say that they probably always know that their being manipulated and just sometimes let other manipulated them for some reasons.. at least thats what i noticed
Thank you for taking the time to create this content. As for something else INFJs hate, I’d have to say “people latching on too hard”. I’ve found immature people become infatuated and codependent towards us INFJs. We will burn ourself out helping that person and never having our personal space. Slowly, resentment builds until we must rip them off of us. Luckily I’ve learned how to manage my distance from these energy leaches, so this isn’t much a problem for me anymore.
Agree! But I have come to realize it was very much at my own fault for lackning proper skills in setting clear boundaries. When those immature people get a chance to grow on their own they can become interesting people to hang out with. When the boundaries are really clear. Living and learning!
@@tuvei yes this is absolutely true. That's one of the ways I manage my distance with them. Setting boundaries... creating space for myself, and defining who I am individually- rather than who I am in that relationship. All great ways to navigate those relationships.
As an INFJ, I hate it when people are disrespectful of time, of mine most of all. If you are late..it bothers me, if you don't show up at all, God help you. It all comes down to courtesy and manners
Wow, yes definitely, especially if they do it multiple times and don't even apologize
As an INFJ I dont enjoy casual dating as its impossible to get to know someone on a deep level. Also I hate over using my extroverted sensing. Ie clubs, concerts, sporting events. I find it impossible to think and shut down.
Omg... Vibe disruptors!!! Yes yes yes This is exactly how I feel. Thank you!!! 🙏 I have not been able to verbalize why I really dislike certain people that are actually nice, good people lol They are vibe disruptors! I'm an INFJ btw. One thing that really sets me off is being underestimated! Ahhhrgg!! It makes me crazy! Possibly an INFJ thing?
Stephanie Butler how do you know they are “good” people? You sound like me before the age of 34. If they annoy you, who cares how good they are? Adios.
Because they are super fake if you tend to them you will be dragged too 🥴
@@quintuplebanned4267 Good as in they really mean no harm... so one of these people is part of the family so I've been trying to reconcile my feelings. Otherwise I couldn't care less if I dont like them 🤣🍻
@i .candy I meant "is being super annoyed by being underestimated" an INFJ thing, not that INFJ s are underestimated. I have some close INFP friends and I totally see how they could be underestimated too. They just don't get as pissed about it as I do 🤣
I hate violence, yelling, loud noise, chaos. People who lie. And a lack of responsibility. you covered it very well!
Something that I hate is that I feel uncomfortable using too much my ''mind reading'' because I feel like I'm manipulating others and it's ''bad'', paradoxally people seem to seek it.
That and the more I'm in love with someone the more it impares my ability to read their emotions and intentions and I overthink and misinterpret everything... like I can just use those talents for other people benefits not mine... it even makes me act stupid and weird and an emotionnal mess, I hate it.
Syndie Ouellet you must be under the age of 35. You aren’t manipulating anyone. You can’t help that you have a goddamn gift? Can you? I questioned this when I was younger. Don’t waste your time questioning the morality of it, it is always correct, and you genuinely are not trying to do this, you just happen to be gifted in this way, and you will doubt it constantly. Except when you don’t. And those moments are the correct ones. Trust me. It’s a waste of your valuable life to think that you might be manipulative, because that hurts your heart, and it simply isn’t true.
@@quintuplebanned4267 Thank you for taking the time to write this.
@@quintuplebanned4267 So trueee!! Thankyou, that was comforting. 😍💜
i hate the passive agressive. i want to know what they think or feel but their words just have 3% truth and 97% mystery
I tend to hate people when I tell them or discuss with them something that I am very passionate about, which is usually good for most of people and they are not able to match my intensity or energy and then I feel like why did I bother to open my mouth to them, such a waste to share my feelings.
ENTP: Is this an attack?
Chaos is sometimes better than order, if things are in order, there is no work left to do.
Also, I think we are able to see solutions in chaos faster than anyone else.
Sorry I'm a bit late to the discussion - I just discovered this amazing channel recently! As an INFJ, another thing that can be hard to tolerate is being interrupted when speaking. We take a lot of time and care to make sure our thoughts are clear before speaking them. It is also quite nerve-wracking to speak up, so this in itself feels like a huge effort. When someone louder or more forceful jumps in and interrupts, it feels like a form of disrespect because they are not taking the time to hear our full and complete thought. As well... we may feel too shy or not find the opportunity to jump into the conversation again.
I totally LOVE to organize chaos... So true!
That was interesting and true.
To add to the lists of things/attitudes I cannot stand :
- Narcissits and manipulative people
- Disrespect (of my or others boundaries, person, values, choices, opinion, lifestyle, etc.)
- Judgmental/prejudiced statements and behaviors
- Blatant hypocrisy/lack of integrity
- The "brutally honest" attitude of people who CHOOSE to be rude and insensitive to others. You can be honest and still choose to be nice about it.
- Gaslighting
- When someone refuses to take responsibility for their mistakes
- Any kind of bullying
- etc.
Inactivity and blind followers too!
My favorite INFJ content. It's well thought out and accurate; not so one sided or stereotypical. Thanks again Nathan!
That’s really awesome to hear, thank you for this comment! ~ Nathan
Dishonesty, disloyalty, invasion of privacy, blind judgment, false gossips
they're all very annoying..
YESSSS.....you nailed it. As an INFJ I forever find myself stressed by conflict and dread it but will when I deem necessary head straight into it to clean the room of trouble makers or lies so that I and anyone else can move on smoothly in my high hopes....I am known for being a fighter by those who do not like me setting records straight. Yet I always have known that I loathe arguing or conflicts....drains me terribly but I will do it and especially when no one else will and if they will I will support them in the right and good cause. I fight usually over truth and fairness.....I have also gone many days in continued debates online once they start but I dread them all the way as I am stressful my nature....I never enjoy debates or conflict but rarely ever quail from them. I have that unhealthy martyr complex that says somebody has to do it.
People who cannot tend to themselves. It's not their awkwardness that's problematic because I do have a few awkward friends and we get along well, it's the fact that they basically deny any kind of responsibility and because of their condition or situation they just ask (and expect) from other people to carry them (e.g.: being very poor, they use that as an excuse to constantly ask for money and just spend it all rather than even try to manage it).
Dishonesty or better said, misalignment between what someone says and what they do. One quick way to end on the pre-banlist is to expose your true self through your actions that do not reinforce your spoken intentions or promises (following up on the previous example, someone keeps promising they will no longer ask for money but they keep doing it over and over and over again, it becomes obvious that there's no stopping and refusal to give or even lend money is the best approach because it's going to get wasted anyway, I'm not ok if that person is going to waste my money, I'd rather waste it myself. In contrast, I have no problem giving away money if I see that person actually make something out of it, go to a courses, buy some books, I want to see a general improvement because of that given resource and to add honey on top of sugar, if they come back saying how much that meant to them and reinforcing it with a gift they made themselves, even a personalised thank you note will do, then they get on whitelist pretty high up, since I'm using that terminology). I said pre-banlist because I generally issue a fair clear warning that if that person continues that way, I will ban them from my life. Simple words anyone can understand making it obvious that it is their choice whether they want in or not.
I think this one goes to the obnoxious person, people who either try to force their own view of the world upon the group or just projecting their own issues unto the group. Instead of reaching out and maybe opening up a bit so maybe the group might have something helpful to say or do for this person, instead they just project on the group which indirectly tells that this obnoxious person perceives the group to be hostile, in some way, towards them. I could be their friend and actually listen to what they are going through, but instead I'm used as a reflection for their projection which makes me sort of the bad person in their view when that is not what I am (yet).
Along the lines in the previous paragraph, throwing out loaded words in the wrong context just to allude that someone is having a hidden agenda or behaviour or something like that when it's not the case, even more so when they don't really know the person they are talking about (it's similar to gossiping which I also dislike a lot). It's unbearably shallow and I think that's what bothers me more about people stirring up some conflict or some drama. If they are shallow and the conflict/drama they start is hollow and pointless, then it just disturbs the vibe for the sake of disturbing the vibe. On the other hand, when people do cause conflict or drama and there is an underlying theme, a real problem that needs to be addressed, I actually get more intrigued and interested in understanding that because it is something worthwhile for me. I think this falls in the conflict aspect that is mentioned in the video. I don't generally like conflict, but if it is to improve the situation or better understand an issue, it is more than necessary, and I will even go seeking it (quite odd for someone who does not like conflict).
Epic comment. Thank you for leaving it ~ Nathan
I have a serious issue with actions not following words. It incurs rage 🤣
@@MmmMulholland it's not rage for me, it's disappointment
I don't like when people don't respect my boundaries or boss me around :)
Tempting fate yea some extroverts tend to do that with me only to get surprised for which they'll likely never forget. I don't like social types that have it in themselves to not only decide what it means to be human but go so far as to being the manager/boss Karens towards everyone else depriving them of choice outside of the collective control.
I hate scandalous people, it really upsets me. My ex husband was a narcissistic abuser and he knew I hate to call attention and he used to do scandals on street. I wanted to disappear. I hated that
I think what bothers me the most is arrogant people. I hate when I see them treating people like their are stupid or dumb. You can be logical, you can be rational, you can contradict or scold me if I feel that you are being humble, honest and respectful, but, if you are arrogant, I instantly loose all my respect for you and I don't wanna be around you anymore.
I remember once when a classmate told me I was dumb because I was bad in math even studying a lot and his brother was smarter even without any try. I was like, 17 and I cried a lot because I was always trying to help everybody and couldn't understand why he said that, just to hurt me. Since that day, I started to be more aware of arrogant people and they started to bother me more.
Also, people too prideful, people who can't accept they are wrong and don't regret, or don't think about their own actions.
We can be very trusting but once you’ve broken that trust, not just you are going to earn it again big time or not at all. Door slam is real for us people. Also, I can really relate with love and hate relationship with chaos. I’m good at organizing when I see chaos.
I dislike bullies. They are the manifestation of evil.
As an INFJ I really hate doing things which are a waste of time or an imposition on my free time e.g. requests to work late on pointless tasks. I also hate superficiality and dishonesty.
Nathan. Good video. Great video. What perturbs me:
Adults that have low or no self-awareness as to how obnoxious they are by chronic interruptions
People who speak, but are actually not saying anything, such as using ambiguous language. To me, it sounds like just noise. (See no self awareness above)
Highly egotistical people (hope I’m not one 😱. I realize that I can come across that way at times, but its more out of being exposed to the above low self-awareness peeps)
Having to keep my mouth shut in these situations (hard to do and I’ve paid the price at times).
People who cannot admit they are wrong especially on the most inconsequential of things.
When you can see what’s coming but it’s difficult to make others believe it. So you have to sit back and let people learn the hard way, and try to bite your tongue for the 1000th time to not say I told you so.
Catch-22 situations due to any of the above.
It takes a lot of energy to navigate the above situations and not say anything to make it worse.
That first one is a real big one for me too! ~ Nathan
Admitting to wrong is so important for progress. When that is lacking, watch out for the switch from F to T. I don’t want to do it but the wrong behaviour lead by wrong thoughts and ideas has to be sliced.
this is why I'm most terrified of INFJs (and ISFJs) ~oblivious INFP
I’m an INFJ and my mother is an INFP. We’re currently estranged due to her ineptitude as a human. INFP’s infuriate, but also a part of us melts for you.
I'm an INFJ, and have two INFP friends, I found out it's a strange relationship. As time went by I tried to make them more aware of the consequences of their actions in others, sometimes I'm like their mom telling them that running away from someone can hurt their feelings. It takes a lot of time, but they hear me at the end. INFJs always try to go through the diplomatic way first, as long as you hear us everything is fine.
Yea INFJs always manage to make me feel like some terrific hot chaotic mess without even saying much. I really respect you guys but find myself running away from you all the time. Feel too judged! It's just that look on your faces - kind, worried, and disturbed! It's usually the same the other way round too in my experience. Usually the INFJ will find me "lovely" but "self-absorbed" and "incompetent" (both true), but don't really want to intrude too much either since the ones I know don't think it's in their place to give advice, and hold back. You can tell they are doing their Ti thing in their heads though...Plus I always imagine they have some long-term Ni-vision of me in the gutter. So both sides kinda just like each other and keep our distance.
Don’t worry, we don’t bite 😈
- an ISFJ
This comment is excellent! ~ Nathan
As an infj, I really do not welcome superficial friendship or comments on my sns especially when someone makes empty promises or congratulations to get some reaction.
It feels like a lot of these apply to an ENFJ as well. Or, again, maybe I've slid way more introverted. I know you mention near the end: the fight against Chaos is real.
Personalities don't work that way. Perhaps you've slipped into your INFP shadow.
@@t5396 I've tested as INFJ and ENFJ at various points in my long life. But please explain myself to me some more.
@@christineherrmann205
INFJs have a direct, responding, and movement interaction style. ENFJs are direct, initiating control. ENFJs are natural leaders of people. INFJs are behind the scenes.
While INFJs aspire to be a leaders, they are insecure about performing poorly, constantly. ENFJs, however, are insecure about their intelligence, constantly.
Sorry if I was rude. INTJ here. I love love love ENFJs and INFJs. If you want to know more check out CS Joseph. I am not affiliated with him in any way.
Fake - we hate fake and contrived, disingenuous, low quality things and people. And, yeah, you don’t want to be on the receiving end when the switch flips. Thankfully, that doesn’t happen often, but it’s visceral. Other than that, we are super-warm, compassionate, hyper-aware and caring individuals.
Always Learning if someone is on the receiving end of our switch flip, you can bet they’ve needed it for a long time. We just don’t want to be the ones to do it, but if it needs to be done, we are great at it. And fuck em, if they don’t like it. The reason we feel badly sometimes, after we do this, is because of the reaction in the room, or the group. They are visible stunned. And that freaks us out. We feel like we fucked up or something, but we didn’t. It makes sense people would feel this way. They always underestimate us.
@@quintuplebanned4267 yep....
How can you be sure you're not an INFP?
I hate it when someone covers up their true agenda with something that is helpful, kinda like giving me anaesthesia as they prepare an electric seat IN FRONT OF ME
It sounds like the normal "lying to your face" thing but it's ultra unsettling because they're also taking it upon themselves to decide what's good for you
As an INFJ I have to remind myself that not all people are as attuned to others as I am and so I have to be forgiving of the "oblivious" types to an extent. However, because I watch so closely and see how they affect others I only have patience for so long. Not everyone who doesn't intuitively know what others need in a given situation is rude.
People assuming what I'm thinking, yet almost always wrong. Being misattributed as a artist when I'm more of an engineer. Being treated like a child, when it's clear to me that the other person is the one being the child. Being told I have to do something a certain way, even though I see a better way. Being used as a model of how other people should be; no one should be like me, I need permission to do nearly everything I want to do, which arguably also makes me the worst nerd on the planet. Also really hate it when others of opposing perspectives can't empathize with eachother, why do I always have to feel compelled to bridge the gap? Also really hate seeing an unlikely and sometimes unpleasant future, not being able to do anything about it, and seeing that seemingly unlikely scenario somehow realized. How did I see that coming? Yet again. 🙄
Most of the population is unintelligent. What do you expect?
My 4 Month old granddaughter hates her vibe interrupted. I predict she will be infj. Poor baby. 😂
You have the rarest granddaughter ~ Nathan
Dishonesty and ignorance is our worst fears and what we despise most.
Dude, I was agreeing with all that you said and then you hit the chaos line and you nailed it. The thing I love about a dirty car, a filthy house, an overgrown lawn, a disorganized combat site (I'm a vet), a broken comm circuits (I'm a data dude), dirty floors, disorganized closets.......they all can be improved and when I get done, I'm like, "BAM!! I DID THAT SHIT!!", and I pat myself on my head and know I did a great job!
In those rare moments that I am out of chaos, I kinda miss it cause I feel like I'm not needed. I'll bet if all the crime and bad things stopped happening in Metropolis, Superman would be sad and not know what to do with his time as well.
Anyways, good stuff!!!!
I do find the things that keep me up at night are people sowing chaos. Everyone lies at different intervals at different levels, and actually I don't mind most lies, because the person is often trying to protect themselves. But people lying to get out of responsibility or over-crediting themselves and their position when they clearly don't know what they are doing (or are clearly exploiting others) puts them in my target zone. Likewise, people in positions of power (especially spiritual leaders) who are willfully manipulative generally get high on my hit list. Although I am sensitive to social structures and politenesses, I actually HATE and can not very well tolerate clique behaviors and attitudes. Nothing irritates me more than people who credit others with recognition on the simple basis of who they know or are connected to, or because they have earned a certain rank. If you have great ideas and insights, you have my respect - no matter where you are on the social scale. I really hate social snobbery and group think, which kind of seems opposite of FE - but I think INFJs protect the tribe by guarding individuality within the tribe.
dude, YES! spot on with everything! and yes, i absolutely thrive in chaos because i am able to keep things moving along in an orderly fashion as much as possible, but let me tell you, as soon as i’m out of that chaotic situation and can let myself breathe i completely break down
As an INFJ when someone talks down to someone based on their job, is obnoxious or thinks they are better than everyone else because they may have more money or status...these people tend to irritate me- and i simply cut them out of my life if i feel like i have talked to them about the issue and they don't seem to want to change their behavior.
I'm an INFJ and hate it when people try to control other humans. I think that has something to do with fairness and respect.
Ungratefulness also.
It goes in the group of unfairness anyway.
Your first point on the vibe disruptor one really reminded me of the time when I was uncharacteristically hostile to one of my friends. The tension and dramas she caused over trivial things were really pushing my buttons and also the whole group, so I called her out one day, after struggling with my boiling anger for the whole night beforehand. It wasn't a pleasant sight.
What specifically did you do to call her out?
@@ashuranero5721 Well she texted me when she noticed I wasn't being myself (I was missing for half of the day). I don't remember what she said, but it ended up with me telling her sth along the line of 'let's talk, I want you to say that to my face.'
One of my personal hates is anyone patronising me. My Fe will grin and bear it, if its coming from elders, or someone who I know isnt very bright,..I'll aquiesce and bite my tongue,..but if its from someone who's just throwing their authority or intellectual weight around, my own inner Cobra comes out and I like to lay a verbal trap for them, lead them down a path where I know they're going to make a logical mistake, and then deliver the coup d etat. Petty? yes, mean spirited? Yes, but it gives me so much satisfaction. ;)
Yes, YES! Excellent, Melissa. A+!
The dark side of the INFJ!
Ray: "NEVER cross an INFJ."
I'd love to make a longer commentary delineating strategy (one example: the imperceptibly SLOW door slam of a work colleague) but being (INFJ) secretive I will not. There's about a dozen that can be employed in the workplace. What helps is our chameleon ability -- that we present a trustworthy persona to people, but meanwhile, out in the weeds ....
People have no idea what we are capable of, especially sensors.
As you grow older, with experience, you'll learn to turn to the dark side, yet be able to come back.
An aspect, that I dare say, even Nathan doesn't fully realize.
Good work. 🐍♥️
god this is so true. if someone is being purposefully annoying or causing chaos they will receive my wrath lol
People who lack any sense of individualism are the type of people I find revolting to be around
A phony person will upset me every single time. This usually goes hand in hand with disloyalty. If I trust you enough to tell you something about myself only to hear it from someone else, then the friendship is over. I used to give second chances, but now I just walk away. If I admire a business or an entertainer only to find out they've been phony or disloyal they are also done.
INFJ but for some reason don't feel as strongly or annoyed about things I'm supposed to hate. I rather spend my energy on pursuing my thoughts and knowledge, experiences. Doing my own thing in my own space in calm quiet and peace. Fuck with that and yeah I'll get fierce.
I don't like it when people I'm interested in don't directly say what they really want which leaves me thinking of a minimum of 5 possibilities and assumptions what and why.
I'm an INFJ and this is 100% true 🤣
Glad to hear it! ~ Nathan
When people misinterpret my behaviour and feel a need to defend themselfs.
Wow as an INFJ, everything you said, all true! Sensing inequity in situations disturbs me greatly. It's something so automatic. And the looks I've gotten upon pointing something out about a situation. People don't understand how you know something, you just know. I think INFJ's greatest gifts is to see the truth beyond the illusion. Like an X-ray machine. And other people just don't get that. Even feel threatened by it.
INFJ here and we are often aware of how stupid we look in public sometimes, so that's why we keep our mouths shut. We rely on rationing decisions based on moral value or what's best for ourselves in the moment and in long term. I do get really impatient with people when they're rude or rambunctious, so we are always not the best dissolver of bad situations. we hold intellect to an important value among people because we like to ramble about the future and stuff. So when I talk to someone who's interested in the same thing, or has a similar mindset, I go all in to make a good impression of myself.
Types of people who frustrate me (hate...is a strong word):
-People who are loud or make constant noise where it isn't warranted (people who fake laugh loudly, whistle everywhere, chew with their mouth open knowingly, talk on speakerphone in public, listen to their music at insane volumes in public, etc) --this probably ties into the notion of not being aware of their surroundings and how their actions affect other people around them
-People who manipulate others for their benefit or fortune
-People who are rude to others ( _especially_ to those that are serving them)
-People who bully others, or point out others' mistakes/inadequacies/differences, and _especially_ when this occurs in public and isn't done out of the intention to help them, but to embarrass them
-People who are unclear, dishonest, or circumnavigate telling things as they are
-People who speak over me, speak for me, or speak over or for others (people who steal others' voices because they think theirs is more important)
-People who are self-absorbed and focus only on their circumstances/experiences/memories/emotions/thoughts/needs (example: when talking about your experience, they overshadow it with their own negating the fact that their experience is not yours)
-People who are unwilling to admit their own faults in a situation even when it is pointed out to them
-People who assume that I don't have desires/wants/needs/dreams/opinions/thoughts/feelings simply because they've never bothered to ask
-People who refuse to acknowledge the two sides to everything, that everyone has their own way of viewing the world, their own perspective, and this is not inherently wrong just because it doesn't align with their own
-People who are willfully ignorant or closed-minded
-People who are cruel to animals, children, or the defenseless
-People who assume things about other people's character without ever giving them the chance to defend themselves against that assumption
-People who gossip or start rumors
-People not doing what they said they will do, not holding up their word and their deeds even if it doesn't benefit them
Your videos are so on the point it's scary haha- thank you for the great work! I'm an infj and another thing I don't particularly like or find it hard to deal with is when people don't communicate honestly (like surface conversations and stuff like that?) because I find it hard to understand who a person is and where they're coming from if we don't talk "below the surface".
Dude you are hella smart, the observation that the four xNxJ types need a sense of direction really hit me. Also the way you phrased the “if you take the time to leave a comment you may as well subscribe” ;)
I actually handle obnoxious people better... because they know what they are doing, they can be steered away from it--just give them the attention they want, tell them the non-verbal equivalent of "yes, you're very smart" and steer them away from their quarry--you can hint that you outweigh them in the area of social skills, and a lot of times they'll shut up (because they don't want to be embarrassed) whereas the oblivious people are, like he said, exhausting. Of course, if the nice approach doesn't work on the obnoxious ones, the gloves come off...
Personally , people who are really full of themselves , who think highly of themselves when they clearly have no qualities or have done nothing to make themselves think that
I cant think while surrounded by chaos. I get swallowed up in it and lose myself. Then i feel like im going in circles and overthink things and get frustrated etc.
When people message you or like contact you and they literally make no effort in keeping the convo going?? Like bruh! You were the one that messaged me... why the heck are you not saying anything or tell me what you want ASAP. I really hate trying to guess, just cut to the chase. I do like mystery but not to the point where that is everything you have to offer. Im also super patient but don’t test me. You’ll regret it when I am no longer speaking with you.
neonchild but do they? I mean, really, do they even know well enough to regret it? Are they even capable of this kind of depth? Y’know? They probably just go on with their simple, relatively dumb lives, doing dopey things, not really noticing one way or another. Don’t ya think? I mean, I don’t want to believe this, but honestly, there are so many dimwits in the world. And I know, calling them names is just my INFJ defense, because the second these morons are in trouble, and if I’m around, and I can see it happening, of course I’m gonna get all empathetic and have to “Do something”, but shit, it kind of gets old. Because once it’s done, they go back to being all dopey.
INFJ male here, I feel this comment on every level.
"Organize chaos" bro u just explained me during exams -infj