Needed this. I am a 23 year old woman who has BPD, PTSD, MDD AND ADHD. I am also a mom to two children ages 2 and 9 months. My last DBT session we spoke about my want for things to be perfect. Causing me to freeze and avoid completely. I have an immense fear of failure. I have avoided starting work or schooling postpartum in fear of failing/quitting. I have had 12 jobs from ages 15-20. Quit all of them. Longest job I have held was 5 months long. I have been a stay at home mom for 2 years now. I have done a-lot therapy and self work/become more self aware during these 2 years. I want to go to school to have a career but terrified of failing. It is esthetician school and its a year long commitment for part time. There are more factors holding me back but ultimately its my fear of failing, low confidence in myself, my core beliefs and fixed mindset. I appreciate your content. A safe space to receive education on mental health + BPD. You have taught me so much. Thank you.
I am a procrastinator/perfectionist with both BPD and ADHD, this couldn't have been more timely. I have such trouble getting over the 'hump' to do a task but once I manage to, I can usually stay focused and get things done. But getting over that hump feels almost paralyzing. Thanks for another informative video!
I love your videos. I just found them this morning and I've gone through a bunch and I subscribed and please don't stop making videos thank you so much❤
Thank you for these videos! I have lived this way all my life. With quiet BPD. And it’s always with men relationships. I do have anxiety but it makes me do things right away. So that is different. Thank you for all this information!!’
Learned helplessness is often the result of being the scapegoated child. This stuff carves ruts in you neural pathways and stays there. I was closing up someones cottage with my oldest brother. The "helpful" brother, in fact. But he dealt with our family narcissism with sub-clinical OCD and by withholding helpful advice as a way of feeling control over the emotional disorder that our mother transferred to her sons. Anyways, I got up early one day and started making coffee which is something I've done all my adult life. He jumps out of his sleeping bag and frantically asks: "What are you doing. Don't do that. You'll wreck it. I'll do it. Wait." There is no other human being on this planet that would provoke this over the top reaction from him. He'd simply make a second pot if it were truly bad. He was well over sixty years old and I was in my late fifties. It was an astonishing reminder of how I ended up as a Quiet Borderline. And he is the least destructive of my brothers. I can't start talking without my closest in age older brother making a snort of contempt. He never has a point. He just HAS to do it. Neither of my parents nor any of my siblings would ever object to this rudeness. If I raised concerns over this harrassment I'd be dismissed, gas-lit, insulted or mocked.
Is it different for high functioning BPD? I'm polar opposite to this. Taxes, vets etc have to be done instantly. The theory behind that is that's now off the anxiety list. Procrastination causes me massive anxiety so I don't do it.
Random but: could you do a video on how taking the contraceptive pill (in case you’re taking it) has an effect on your mental health especially with quiet bpd & anxiety? Does it have an effect at all? I’ve had a rough week & today I was feeling very low & suicidal & just angry/irritated/exhausted. It’s hard to be like “oh yea right I’d usually have my pill break rn” (that’s why I’m not doing the pill break, otherwise it would be even worse & last longer) & separate my feelings from my identity if that makes any sense. It might be also other factors (stress at work etc.) but my god I’m so over these ups and downs. I wish I could be genuinely happy and motivated for a longer time. This is just bs…
Good video, a lot of the things you mention I have. I knew I procrastinate a lot, but my therapist says it is avoidance (Avpd). What is the main difference between procrastination and avoiding?
My husband will take months to fold a laundry basket . I cant use the basket and its gotten to the point of me just throwing out the clothes. I do the other 5 loads a week. I work full time and do the housework, yardwork, repairs. He cant do his 3 loads a month?
Should I watch this video, or should I not... I could watch it later but then I might forget so I should watch it now. She's Canadian and has cats so should I even watch it at all..? 🤔. Just joking, thanks for the info you impart, all very relatable.
L-Dopa + L-Tyrosine > adderal. ADHD & bad both have huge dopamine issues, and dopa/tyro are building blocks for it. I was on addy for over a decade, and it spikes the impulsive BPD anger something fierce.
Procrastination is the addiction to experiential avoidance
Thank you very much!
Needed this. I am a 23 year old woman who has BPD, PTSD, MDD AND ADHD. I am also a mom to two children ages 2 and 9 months.
My last DBT session we spoke about my want for things to be perfect. Causing me to freeze and avoid completely. I have an immense fear of failure.
I have avoided starting work or schooling postpartum in fear of failing/quitting. I have had 12 jobs from ages 15-20. Quit all of them. Longest job I have held was 5 months long. I have been a stay at home mom for 2 years now. I have done a-lot therapy and self work/become more self aware during these 2 years. I want to go to school to have a career but terrified of failing. It is esthetician school and its a year long commitment for part time. There are more factors holding me back but ultimately its my fear of failing, low confidence in myself, my core beliefs and fixed mindset.
I appreciate your content. A safe space to receive education on mental health + BPD.
You have taught me so much. Thank you.
Glad this was helpful ☺️
I hear you and see myself. God bless you for putting this info outside 🙏
I am a procrastinator/perfectionist with both BPD and ADHD, this couldn't have been more timely. I have such trouble getting over the 'hump' to do a task but once I manage to, I can usually stay focused and get things done. But getting over that hump feels almost paralyzing. Thanks for another informative video!
Of course ☺️
I love your videos. I just found them this morning and I've gone through a bunch and I subscribed and please don't stop making videos thank you so much❤
Thank you for these videos! I have lived this way all my life. With quiet BPD. And it’s always with men relationships. I do have anxiety but it makes me do things right away. So that is different. Thank you for all this information!!’
This is so accurate!
Learned helplessness is often the result of being the scapegoated child. This stuff carves ruts in you neural pathways and stays there. I was closing up someones cottage with my oldest brother. The "helpful" brother, in fact. But he dealt with our family narcissism with sub-clinical OCD and by withholding helpful advice as a way of feeling control over the emotional disorder that our mother transferred to her sons. Anyways, I got up early one day and started making coffee which is something I've done all my adult life. He jumps out of his sleeping bag and frantically asks: "What are you doing. Don't do that. You'll wreck it. I'll do it. Wait." There is no other human being on this planet that would provoke this over the top reaction from him. He'd simply make a second pot if it were truly bad.
He was well over sixty years old and I was in my late fifties. It was an astonishing reminder of how I ended up as a Quiet Borderline. And he is the least destructive of my brothers. I can't start talking without my closest in age older brother making a snort of contempt. He never has a point. He just HAS to do it. Neither of my parents nor any of my siblings would ever object to this rudeness. If I raised concerns over this harrassment I'd be dismissed, gas-lit, insulted or mocked.
Sounds like me. I have putting of my assignments for over a month 😅
Is it different for high functioning BPD? I'm polar opposite to this. Taxes, vets etc have to be done instantly. The theory behind that is that's now off the anxiety list. Procrastination causes me massive anxiety so I don't do it.
I think it really depends from person to person but I can definitely see how high functioning BPD might cause you to do things instantly!
Random but: could you do a video on how taking the contraceptive pill (in case you’re taking it) has an effect on your mental health especially with quiet bpd & anxiety? Does it have an effect at all?
I’ve had a rough week & today I was feeling very low & suicidal & just angry/irritated/exhausted. It’s hard to be like “oh yea right I’d usually have my pill break rn” (that’s why I’m not doing the pill break, otherwise it would be even worse & last longer) & separate my feelings from my identity if that makes any sense.
It might be also other factors (stress at work etc.) but my god I’m so over these ups and downs. I wish I could be genuinely happy and motivated for a longer time. This is just bs…
Good video, a lot of the things you mention I have. I knew I procrastinate a lot, but my therapist says it is avoidance (Avpd). What is the main difference between procrastination and avoiding?
Great question, let me make a video about this ☺️
@@onthelinecommunity Cant't wait, thanks! 😄
@@brethil2255 look up PDA. Pathological Demand Avoidance. It's associated with autism. It's horrible.
My husband will take months to fold a laundry basket . I cant use the basket and its gotten to the point of me just throwing out the clothes. I do the other 5 loads a week. I work full time and do the housework, yardwork, repairs. He cant do his 3 loads a month?
Should I watch this video, or should I not... I could watch it later but then I might forget so I should watch it now. She's Canadian and has cats so should I even watch it at all..? 🤔. Just joking, thanks for the info you impart, all very relatable.
Thank you!
L-Dopa + L-Tyrosine > adderal. ADHD & bad both have huge dopamine issues, and dopa/tyro are building blocks for it. I was on addy for over a decade, and it spikes the impulsive BPD anger something fierce.
Plus 5-HTP around bed time as well.