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Much love! This really really resonated so hard with me, I'm self diagnosed, late. Years and years and years of masking. Practically every thing you've said has really struck a chord with me. I'm on my own individual journey, it's been horribly hard. The negativity I've faced and still face even from people I don't know at all is wild. Most don't even know outright that I'm autistic, still they'll treat us horribly. Please continue to make this kind of content!! ❤️

I've all but given up trying to explain my experiences as a late diagnosed autistic man. I'm not convinced that a lot of people can comprehend that people's brains or ways of thinking are different to their own; perhaps because this challenges their own experiences of reality & personal beliefs. A lot of people are reluctant to engage with such thoughts until they're struggling internally themselves.

The times I,ve wanted to run away from a group,everyone talking at once , or on a crowded bus where you cannot escape😩🫣🤯.Now at 77 I know why ,but these problems are still there to be coped with.😢All very exhausting and each day is like stepping onto a stage to perform!

this is horrible and sad...

It's like you're telling my story, brother. I, myself, don't drink anymore, but when I did it was for similar reasons, to be normal, to shut my brain off and stop seeing all the things that all the normal people didn't see and were blissfully unaware of. Glad I stumbled across your channel.

Society. You gotta have a job to have a status. A status to get a bitch, and a bitch to look like you care

Just turned 55. Lived my whole life how you are describing. Just hearing you describe it brings back so many bad memories. I don't see much point in getting a diagnosis at my age. I'm just slowly shutting down and shutting out. The way I see it, I'll only have to do this for another 20 years or so. It's nice to hear I'm not the only one, though. Cheers, mate.

YES, my birthday....I HATE IT, for the same reasons you do: I do NOT want the extra attention!! It's just another day, period! I had a friend who always used to INSIST on celebrating my birthday, and I was expected to return the attention and accolades, and it just drove me crazy! As far as working, well....due to a serious and permanently disabling injury years ago, I can no longer work, but I still manage to do my own chores, walk my dog, etc., because I still cannot sit for long. Animals, I LOVE animals, and they seem to always gravitate to me Just like you, I don't want to get married, have kids, etc. Also, I don't take vacations/holidays because I prefer not to travel, I hate it, actually... nor do I have the money to do it anyway. Now, I DO have a "fancy" luxury car, an older 4-door sedan, but only because I hate to drive, I absolutely HATE it! I can't stand to drive with windows down because I hate road noise, so that means I need a car with A/C. I'm also VERY irritated by bumps, pot holes, road imperfections, engine noises from the car, rattles, squeaks, vibrations, etc., so that means a senior citizen-style older luxury car, like a Caddy, Lincoln, or Buick; I absolutely LOVE the quiet-as-a-tomb serenity of a softly-sprung freeway cruiser!

I do wonder if that puzzle Vs infinity symbol thing isn't all about some admins of such groups simply having some merch with infinity symbol to push

That resonated so much having a background in fire safety and SHEQ, including having designed developed and implemented an integrated ISO management systems, across a Group of companies and troubleshot nationally, when problems/systems broke down occurred in other people’s patches. And spent years on the road. I'm glad that I don't have to go to London anymore. Maybe the ASD helped me map out the ISO standards like a web, not only where the standards said there was a link, but I saw links like a spiders web all over each standard, then stacked the standard on top of each other and mapped them like a web vertically as well as horizontally across the ISO management standards. Systems were logical, so made sense.

Can you imagine the penny dropping in your late 50’s. Dyslexia was diagnosed nearly 30-years ago, in my late 20’s when I tried doing some further education at my local college and my English teacher asked me if I had dyslexia (neurodivergence No. 1). 30-years on, I now suspect that I also have ASD, ADHD, alexithymia and prosopagnosia as well, and have recently been put on the waiting list for an ASD assessment. Could there be other related neurodivergence that I’m not aware of yet, as I’m still in the learning and discovery phase? It explains so much throughout my life. Not only I haven’t known about it and masked all of my life as a survival mechanism, ASD and ADHD have overlapping reinforcing traits (even if they have very different causes) which can amplify traits if both are triggered at the same time, but also opposing traits which clash and via for supremacy, so very confusing. It’s like I’ve turned up to a cross country event every day, but haven’t received the message, everyone is stood there in their running vests, shorts and cross country running spikes (to get the best grip), but I’ve got a blindfold on, knew that it had been raining so was going to be wet and muddy, so am wearing my wellies as I didn't get the message about what I’m meant to do and can’t see why I’m different from the others, but the ADHD constantly drives and compels me to put in far more effort, like I’m a machine or driven by a motor, and beet the crowd! As I get older, my resilience is lower, my mask(s) have slipped or cracked, stuff is leaking out and I’m becoming very exhausted from subconsciously and now also consciously masking all of the time.

Thanks mate, a bit heavy for me so im going to keep coming back to this vid.

Do you have ASD level 1 without Aspergers?

Wow! Nothing wrong with that mate. Lovely song and you sing it so well. All singers worry about their voice. When you sing, what you hear includes your voice resonating in the sinuses in your head. Nobody else can hear that. When you hear your recorded voice it doesn’t sound like you. Most people think they sound bad in recording. All you can do is listen to what other people say about your voice and your song. My opinion is that your voice sounds great and your song is lovely. I listen to music for around 8 hours a day every day. That’s a lot of music. I really like your song and I’ll be listening to it more. Have you put your stuff on Spotify etc?

Thanks for the video.

I haven’t even gotten through the whole video and I’m just broken down in tears.. this really hit home for me. Thank you for making this video, I’m subscribing. I know it’s not my video or my words but damn I feel heard through watching this.. I relate so much that it’s overwhelming. I got diagnosed at 21. I’m now almost 23. The last few months I’ve been in complete burnout. Mixed with major depression and generalized anxiety I’ve been diagnosed with way before autism ever came into question. I just lost the motivation I guess to really live life.. Since I’m a bit later diagnosed than a lot of people as well, the people in my life like my family don’t really address my autism ever. I think they feel a bit uncomfortable maybe because they have this idea of what it looks like, and to them I just am normal person with severe anxiety and depression and go through spurts of time where I don’t get out of bed for months. Not out of laziness, because I promise I’m one of the hardest working 22 year olds I’ve met at least. But it gets so bad to the point where I don’t wanna live anymore and everybody is just wondering what’s went wrong with me, and question when they will just get the “old” me back. Idek who the old me is tbh, and the “old” me doesn’t know who she was either. I just did what everybody else did that seemed to be functioning well, with some intense empathy added into the mix. Somehow I just didn’t come off right to most people even then.. I’d get burnt out so quick. When people meet me they think I change and dislike me after so many months because that’s usually the time the depression, or burnout hits.. and I become a shell of myself until I finally bounce back just a little.. enough to be the me they want.. I’m trying to find myself and I thought the diagnosis would finally make me free from my problems because it was supposed to help me figure out who I am. But now I’m even more lost than before.. and it doesn’t help when even the councilors at school or people who are supposed to help those with disabilities are so quick to jump in when I talk about what I’m going through, just to try to disprove my diagnosis, or make my problems seem less than what they are, or knock it down to “just depression”, or “just adhd” or “just anxiety”…. But the autism diagnosis has seemed like my enemy lately. Because nobody believes me and wants to say my problems aren’t a result of autism, or tries to study my every move and response to determine in their mind if I’m autistic enough. I’m sorry I’m rambling, I just wish people understood.. I wish I was understood for once in my life.. and not misjudged or mistreated.. hardly ever has anybody actually tried to listen or understand or learn.. or want to.. Thank you again for sharing this.

I was diagnosed about 10 years ago. Yes I had many ahah moments. But went into a depression and spun out quite a bit for many years.

66 and now retired, I have gone to full unmask. It's a long process to unwind all those years. Anyway, I've likened us to an ethnic racial minority group that has transparent skin color. It's legal to discriminate against us and all noticeable skin color groups of people are free to discriminate against us any way they choose. Bullied as a child. Whipped by teachers. And the whole workplace crap just to have a safe place to recover each day... Yep, the transparent race. The invisible disabilities.

Thank you for this video. My husband and I are 30. Our daughter was diagnosed with high functioning autism. My brother has lower functioning. After doing research on her, my husband and I felt like we did too and sure enough, we now how a whole family of autism. It’s nuts. I always felt so different and now I know why. I just wish I got help earlier. It would have helped me so much. So much with ocd, anxiety, depression, etc. I can’t take back all the bullying, called weird, annoying, felt so left out in life. It makes sense why my husband and I get along so well because we are both autistic and never even knew. He’s the only person in my life I’ve ever gotten along with.

When I was first diagnosed at 45 with Autism still my IQ was higher case workers suddenly told me I needed caretakers and social training like a 5 year old. They don’t refer me as a “you”person or acknowledge your you they talk to loved ones as a “he”and don’t respect me as a person and ignores me when I speak my voice and frustrationHorrible. I agree with your video 100%.

What?! Those blokes on Reddit need to get a grip, I’m autistic and I’ve had many people be interested in me but I could never really tell lmao. Many non autistic people do wanna date autistic people indeed

This particular video is superb, it's been very helpful. ❤

I feel empathy far, far too strongly. I feel it for people, animals, plants, and even inanimate objects. I have turn it down, on purpose, because it's exhausting. I can hear someone's sad story, from a random meeting, and I am still upset about it years later. Sad. Helpless. Hurt. From a chat with a stranger, where I felt enormous, paralysing, overwhelming empathy. Because I have put myself in their shoes, and thought.. How on earth would I feel, if what happened to them, happened to me? And that, surely, is the definition of empathy? If it's not, I've misdefined the word!! 😂

I resonate so much with you, idk if I have autism, probably a bit, ... always feel like I don't belong... had a really hard time growing up. Now however I became really strong and independent as a result and I kind of like that now... and trust, fairness are so important to me, it really tilts me if something is unfair. However I don't really drink alcohol unless I go party or such. But I do need a lot of alone time to recharge and feel well.

Yet another powerful video

Amen, Brother. I have gotten into the habit of telling family and friends to NOT ask my opinions on things unless they really want to hear it. I've always been an honest person, but now I am just not willing to hold back like I used to. So, they've been forewarned. lol. If you don't want me to be the real me, then stay away.

Couldn't keep a job for more than 3 years at a time. Always would clash with someone in power.

Me: Cult survivor, autistic, ADHD, CPTSD -- high functioning/high masking. My therapist: cult survivor, autistic, ADHD -- high functioning/years of eliminating mask. I'm the one driving the cart. She's the one helping me navigate. Anything less doesn't work.

Actually that polo shirt rocks

In my experience, it seems parents and adults have always been intimidated by the clarity and intelligence afforded by my unique perspective. Everyone belittled and gaslighted me for being too sensitive and dramatic growing up… thankfully I’m 35 now and refuse to be fake for everyone else’s comfort lol😂 Just by being myself, my autism triggers peoples’ deepest insecurities.. that’s why I stay alone and don’t socialize… it’s completely futile trying to be understood. 😂

Really enjoyed that vicarious trip to Barcelona, it looked very much like one of mine - research the chuff out of it! I also thought I didn't like the idea of a room without windows, but I'm thinking I might ask for one next time!! 😅

Keep calm and Carrie Grant. 😘

I don't know if you'll read this but I just want to thank you. Just got my diagnose a month ago (at 36) and I can see myself reflected in your videos. Thanks a lot.

I like your analogy with the cutlery, sp agreeing with your point overall! You come across as very likeable, i'm sure if i met you in university or the workplace i'd be comfortable in your company/talking to you about subjects or being there without talking. Keep up the good work/yoir videos! Cheers

Paul I just love u mate, this channel is a gem❤

Wow. 100% relatable 💗

I have to eat all of my least favorite, then continue that order until I get to my favorite....every...single....time.

37. Haven't had an official diagnosis, but, have taken myriad online tests all coming back as strong probability, have been deep diving the dsm-5 and videos like this and other resources; everything you are saying hits home way too hard with me. I am also currently struggling with insomnia, recently had a minor heart attack, and have just been through it. But, holy crap your words sound like my life. A lifetime of acting. Absolutely understand this, brotha. It had been an interesting couple of months coming to this realization.

Just found your channel! You're great to listen to and thank you for sharing!

yes! my father was told i was asd when i waa 8 and hid it from me. I'm female and high-masking but I have been through the mill over and over got a diganosis as an adult along with an EDs diagnosis only to learn I had a diagnosis all along....

I feel every bit of this mate...

I just got my late autism diagnosis on the 22nd of may 2024. Just 8 days ago. I'm 43 years old. I'm forever grateful for autistic youtubers like you. It means the world to me. Thank you. 🏆❤

I never thought the fact I don’t get jealous of people was due to autism 😮😮😮😮

Umm, im not a doctor but pain in one side, going through to the back and constant urination sounds like kidneys to me. I would suspect kidney infection, but im sure you were tested for this. Hope its all sorted now

I am one of those who can do a pretty decent job, but still crumble under the scrutiny of the interview... I found that a neurotypical beats me out of a job 9 times out of 10... it might be because I can't hide what i'm feeling and my depression becomes visible for a split second or I lose my confidence mid interview... Why the hell do I have to be the living embodiment of confidence to get a fucking job that I'm perfectly qualified for? Why can't an interview be more like: Interviewer: "so here are what we require, and the expectations of this job are... do you understand what is expected, and can you do it?" me: "yes, I believe I can. With proper job training I'll probably have your job someday." Interviewer: "Sounds great. so we got some paper we need you to fill out. When can you start?" Why TF do I have to put on the face of someone else in order to get someone to consider me for employment? Why should I have to? Why should I have to decline my own mental health in order to survive, when I'm already borderline suicidal (almost full on(not sure it ain't full on now)) to begin with? Honestly, I really don't know what is keeping me alive anymore... I see a lot of people who have everything they want and still complain about completely meaningless and insignificant, stupid problems that could be solved easily, While I'm stuck in poverty without the means to get anything I need or want, and it pisses me off to see these people complaining when they don't realize that they got it so fucking easy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why should I have to suffer a life of undeniable, complete rejection? And what's it going to take to make a lasting change that isn't for the benefit of the neurotypicals in the workplace? What about us, huh? what about the autistics who can't work because they can't help but show exactly how they feel written on their face 24/7, and because what's written on my fucking face isn't confidence but anxiety and desperation? the only reason I ever had a job was because they couldn't hire anybody else cuz nobody showed up and filled out an application except for me... I just want to drop dead... I wish I didn't have to work even though I still want to... I wish I could make the choices that led me here again... I'd do so much so differently...

Simply getting an assessment is a huge cost for autistic people. Time, huge emotional effort, mental effort to deal with the waiting times and inaccessible processes. And if you want to avoid some of this, it costs a lot of money. People rarely talk to me on the train.

What a powerful video ❤ thank you very much. I’ve found that it’s really hard trying to explain those things to people who are not autistic, in fact I’m watching this video right now cause I can’t sleep after having tried to explain my train of thought to someone I’m positive is not autistic. It’s so overwhelming and draining

73 and undiagnosed but so recognize aspects of everything you say here. The eating habit cracks me up. Yup. That's what I do. Always have.

Wow! Stumbled on your channel, sounded like me talking…I mean the thoughts. Finding years of masking has drained me to the point I find it harder and to rebuild myself. At 57, I just don’t have the energy to be everything the world needs me to be. Thanks for this straight talk, all of it so true.