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You won't believe how relieved I am for what you have said today. I have never understood some labels assigned within the autism community or why some things are wrong to say or why you had to say it this way. All I knew was that I was autistic and I didn't really care for all the "complicated" such as why the puzzle piece isn't something good to use or why it's adults with autism to autistic adults. To be frankly honest, it really doesn't matter to me because like what you've been saying the struggle is so real, so prominent in my life, I have larger problems to deal with and mitigate, a puzzle piece is so trivial to me like a grain of sand floating in the vast wideness of space. I'm so glad to hear you bring this up, I was wondering if I simply was malfunctional beyond the neurodivergent and neurotypical level since I clearly didn't always fit within even the neurodivergent thinking construct. details

Yup, 48, crazy, my wife was the 1, not me.

Just got diagnosis autism and adhd and ocd and I just turn 48. Crazy and it's been hard 2 wrap my brain around all it. My wife was the 1 who thought I need tested.

69 years old. Have never gotten a formal diagnosis. It’s only 2 years since I began to even think it might be why my life has been so hard. Why relationships die. Why I never fit in the way others do. I’m so lonely, afraid, poor and confused. Life is just getting harder when I imagined that someday it would get easier

Thank you so much for this. 💗

You talk a lot of sense. Very relatable!

Man. I relate to all this so much. For decades, I questioned myself. What the fuck is wrong with me?!? I identify. I acknowledge it now as a condition. There is NOTHING wrong with me. It is my condition. I'm at ease. At peace. With harmony.

My daughter is in bits and looks exhausting. Her nana’s sister died in America. She visited her Nana, brought her flowers and watched the funeral on zoom. She didn’t even know the great aunt in America. But I can see it took so much out of her, she is irritable and can’t desl with small things at the moment. But she is going to her course. Condolences on the loss of your lovely friend. Sounds like ye had a great buzz. My daughter has no friends and ahe is lovely.

On some level though, this is a "leave me alone with my pathology-type" mentality. Everyone wears masks in life. What labels do sometimes is, they separate us from our struggles, so we can say "it's not me, it's my ASD." Most of the kids w/ASD who I see, cannot talk, they cannot tend to basic ADLs, they have meldowns & unawareness of others continously. I'd love it if they would be able to reach the functional level of the guy in this video. I'd love for them to even be able to have the ability to mask at all.

News flash: no human is perfect & we all have weird hang-ups in life. Everyone has ASD if we compare ourselves to pure perfection. According to any online autism test, we all score like we have it. Everyone seems to! There are some people who are definitely more socialized than others & people with various likes / dislikes, quirks, & sizes of comfort zones. What is normal?

Thank you for sharing. I can honestly say our lives have a strange mirroring affect. You have said and pointed out some of my own struggles.

I don’t want to self-diagnose, but I’ve been struggling to make sense of myself lately. Mistakes feel like the end of the world to me, and something as small as a phone call can ruin my entire day and leave me anxious. When I drink, even a tiny bit, it’s like my whole brain flips-I get angry, overwhelmed, and my thoughts spiral out of control. I smoke a lot of weed and drink a lot, and I’ve always had trouble sleeping. Growing up, I was overly observant, sensitive to loud noises, and terrified of things like balloons. My dad was really rough on me, calling me a 'pussy' and beating me whenever I couldn’t handle situations like that. I’ve been thinking: if I had a diagnosis, would it make sense of all this? Like, would people see that I’ve been managing life with something bigger going on and appreciate my effort? I feel like a soldier everyday, but they all see me as this little retarded fuck tard whose better off dead

I wish they'd have just left it as Asperger's Syndrome. They could've easily just renamed it if people were so upset about the origin of the name instead of throwing it and several other issues all into the "spectrum". If I say I have Asperger's, most people don't know what it is and don't really make any assumptions. If I say I have autism, people either don't believe me because it's not as severe as they've seen before or, if they don't know me well at all, assume I must be developmentally disabled in some way and talk to me like I am which drives me mad.

Diagnosis at 47 because my wife said I had autism. Yup! Thanks.

I never thought I would see a male version of me. I thank you for doing this. I am not the only one.

I like your video so far but I'm not going to sit here and listen to you victim blame people for being in debt. Sometimes it is a choice and sometimes it's not. He said it's not right to paint people with a broad brush when they have autism, you should look into not doing the same to other people with other challenges simply because it's not a challenge for you personally. That's what neurotypicals do to us all the time

Thank you

i like being in the bath, but i hate the whole process of getting out. I hate having wet hair, a wet body, it’s cold and horrible. I hate having to brush my hair when it’s wet, the water just drips everywhere. Sensory nightmare. I also don’t like the process of washing my hair and my body and shaving. Yet if I don’t do it i have the sensory issue of feeling gross and unclean and i hate having greasy hair. Also the whole process of running a bath and getting it ready. I occasionally shower but i feel enclosed and restricted like i can’t move around as much whereas in a bath i can just lay and chill, it should be easier when we get a large walk in shower but i am sad that my bath routine will be gone, even though i hate parts of it, it’s still a routine i’m used to. Ahhhhh

My psychologist told me I'll wait years to be formally diagnosed so I don't know what to do I'm 45 and I know I'm definitely autistic.

I love my birthday because it's 12/12 and number patterns make me feel good lol. However, I struggle so much with saying thank you when it's grand gestures of gratitude. If someone praises my work or gives me an amazing gift or tells me how much they appreciate me, I clam up 😐 That type of attention (although I feel blessed for it) makes me sooooooooo uncomfortable.

Im 53, no friends just neighbours, i shop at 7am or 8am when they open, never go to dinners or do's, or anything social, i orefer my own company, like being home, no tight clothes, no labels, no loud noises, people avoidance, social anxiety, general anxiety disorder, no relationships ever last due to the other half being too clingy, my therapist suggested i do an ASD test as she couldn't work out where my people avoidance xomes from, il be out and not look at people directly, just focus on my task, she was helping me for social anxiety and now as my daughter is autistic, I feel I should have the ADOS asessment too

Thank you so much for this video! It really helped me understand myself. The first one about lost friendships really resonated with me. People just ghost me and I have never been able to keep friendships. I have struggled with thinking there is something wrong with me. This video really made me feel better about myself ❤️

I’m just 26, didn’t know I was autistic till I was already an adult. Fucked up part is that I got diagnosed at 8 and neither of my parents chose to tell me. To this day I have an intense need to plot out methods of escape before even entering a situation. I felt like a piece of shit growing up. Went from being “Very Bright” to “lazy and unfocused”. I felt like a burden my whole life and never knew why. Autism just wasn’t brought up around me, the only time I’d ever hear it was as an insult. You grow shameful of who you are, and just because others say “You’re autistic, so that’s normal.” doesn’t change the shit people got away with and how it affected us. Does that toxic positivity change all the times your peers called me “retarded”? Does it change the fact that I was forced to do math on a timer next to hundreds of those same peers when I just couldn’t do it? Every month, I begged and begged my parents to let me stay home just to avoid the shame and harassment. I’d lie, hurt myself, try and make myself get sick, all to avoid it. But even when I “won”, it’s not like it prevented people from hitting, mocking, and assaulting me. You can’t grow up learning how to survive in such a revolting and cruel world and just magically step out into the light free of those chains. I’ll die “locked up” and seeing so many people shrug off that fact just disgusts me. We exist, just because the world’s better now doesn’t mean we’re not still here and still hurting. I’m willing to push ahead for the future, but we’re always going to be stuck in the past and no amount of social reconstructing will take away the shit we faced during such a significant development period. In younger then most the people commenting, so I have to assume I had it better then most. I’m sorry so many of the younger autistic voices pushed you guys away. Honestly, fuck then. You’re valid just as much as they are.

The memories of meltdowns of long past scare the shit out of me. So close to doing things that woulda put me in prison for life. Devine intervention? Luck? These memories have become a leash to navigate my life around certain triggers.

IF they are going to jail for what they say. No wonder they hide behind masks and fake accounts. They have no freedom of speech.

Brilliant, absolutely BRILLIANT! You need to get into advocacy, for all of us oldies. (And please, never change your into, or your extro) …you keep smiling, Paul 😄

Thanks!

Wow! You get it for sure! And I can't wait to listen to some of your music! This was so relatable. Thank you! I feel this guilt about my adult sons, especially with only just being diagnosed (at 60) and their recently sharing how I hurt them in some ways growing up. And now, grandchildren, and how I am disappointing or hurting them about being a grandmom. OUCH. I feel like I am giving everything I have, but it isn't enough for them. They don't understand. I ask for forgiveness, but I feel I am being seen differently. And, just today, I made a mistake, and now I am being cut off by someone. I can't not be autistic! And, as you said, I really like who I am, communication, social, and sensory differences and all. But I am bound to have social, communication, and sensory issues! So that cut-off really hurts... but what can I do. I must admit, I said something fiesty back, and that only fueled the fire... Yes, above and beyond because of the guilt... The guilt gift. I laughed out loud at that. I totally do that... I can't do the friend thing easily, either. I like to walk with a friend, but just hanging out and small talking? What is the point of that? I am facing the "we are all family" comments too. Another Ouch. YES, IT MADE SENSE! Thank you! I know it has been a while since you made this video, but it is still giving support, and I wanted you to know!

those job interviews 😤 what a nightmare, and sometimes they ask such abstract questions or things that have nothing to do with the job. I've had the same job for 5 years and can't quit cause the interview is the farthest I can go, they never call back. I'm the best and most hard working person at my current job, but it doesn't matter. I don't have a neurotypical facial expression and body language, I'm uncomfortable talking to strangers about myself, means I wouldn't be good for the job. One time during some test I found a mistake in the test that no one else noticed 😂 That means I'm smart right? 😅 Give me more of that, a way to show my skills. I really don't demand to get paid a lot. I just want to work alone or with nice quiet people, and please let the neurotypicals talk to the clients. But I'll never say it, no one knows I'm autistic and I do the most talking with clients, nervous every time, even though there's a more extroverted talkative coworker, but because she has less experience I have to do that. 🙄 I will talk about work and she will talk about everything else 😂 Because she loves talking but kinda sucks at the job.

I remember a few moments in life when someone told me "you're rocking like some orphan child" or "why are you dance-walking", I wasn't aware of doing that but now I stop myself if I notice I'm doing something weird even though it feels nice and doesn't hurt anyone.

I like how you manage to have an open discussion when it is only you talking. This is a great skill. I don't like being talked at, but I do like learning and being given other points of view. I would encourage you to find the original meaning of gaslighting. For some reason it has gotten very watered down from its origin. My understanding is that it came from the movie where the bad guy husband was trying to make his wife think she was going crazy, so he would say things had happened or hadn't happened that completely contradicted reality and she began to doubt her own perceptions. So gaslighting isn't really just persuasion, it is saying something like 'grass is always pink' that makes a listener doubt their own understanding of the color pink or what grass is or reality in general. Even more effective if two or more people say the lie. I'm new to understanding my own autism and it feels like a puzzle piece fell into place. I don't know what the infinity symbol is supposed to make me feel. I think the group Autism Speaks (a problematic group in the US, not sure about the UK) use the puzzle piece - but why does that mean you or I can't like it? I agree with so much of what you say. I want a group that allows me to think independently and come to my own conclusions. I hate being forced to learn buzzwords or jargon or be in lockstep with groupthink. The 'realworld' does enough of that! Anyway, I've said before that you have a calming voice. I'd listen to an audiobook read by you. Not just because I'm American or autistic.

wow. 18 and up? for me 24 and up is too hot but I guess it's different for women. but I hate cold, below 15 is cold! my coworker's autistic son is always warm in winter like you.

omg the teeth. I know many people will judge me but I don't brush my teeth in the evening. I'm kinda chronically depressed (dysthymia), when I brush my teeth I feel like my hand hurts and my mouth too, and it's exhausting, I need to sit down and listen to music when I do it in the morning. I sometimes go to sleep very late cause I can't force myself to shower, and I have a rule, I won't go to work if I haven't showered before, and in the morning I'm a zombie, so it's better to do it even as late as midnight than to get up 15 minutes earlier in the morning. my mum says I eat weird, first meat, then potatoes with salad (cause potatoes alone are terrible unless they're fries). my parents eat everything with every bite and drink during the meal. I never drink before I finish eating.

I haven't been to hairdressers for years cause it's so uncomfortable, as a woman the hairdressers are always women too and they love to talk to you... My mum cuts my hair, it might not be the best haircut that's why I've had a bun literally everyday for many years. Food deliveries...😑 it happens so quick yet it's stressful. First I need to put on a bra and make my hair look decent and wash my face and wear clean clothes 😂 And the tip of course, I usually don't tip so there's the feeling of shame, I assume they think I'm a greedy bish.😐

So the reason for losing friends is they just didn't like you and needed to use you for some time? Because that's my whole school experience.

You sound a little bit like Tyson Fury. Found you through Woodshed theory. I'm a Mancunion autist. Subscribed 👍

What I think brings me the most happiness are the select few people close to me and my special interests. Especially when I make tangible progress on them.

Answer to the video title: Yes But the fact this is even a title to a video speaks volumes.

Have you ever thought like maybe during the Salem witch trials and other witch trials, some of the people they accused of being witches were just autistic people? I just thought of that after watching some stuff about the witch trials... and knowing that a lot of autistic people are recluses and just like to live alone in the woods with their animals. Not only do autistic people get bullied, but I think autistic girls get sexually assaulted more because they don't understand social cues and what not.

you just spoke to my soul bro 💯‼️

Listening to you speak and how you think, is encouraging to me. I have said many of the same things, and think similarly. I could care less what people own or wear or drive. I care about who a person IS. I have been in rooms with many people and I do find that to be more isolating. Why another human being would dislike another human being because of their race makes no sense to me. I enjoy logical solutions that take multiple variables into consideration.

Thanks for making this,

"Autism and..." because intersectionality is vital to having a full picture of what autism means. Asking people to separate themselves into sections that don't overlap is denying them the ability to show up in conversations as their authentic selves, which is the opposite of a safe space. The overlap in identities tells a different story that is important to be part of the conversation about autism.

Regarding the study that prompted this essay, I would think the premise is severely threatened by study of autism in identical twins. Same genes. More or less same environment (same womb at least, same home). Aside from butterfly effects, identical twins raised together have the same genes and same environment and still one may have a very disabling expression of autism while the other less so. I would like basically every autism researcher I know of world over to pause, step back, convene a convention of autistic adults, then go back and raise money for the research we say is important. The real problem is the funding, sad to say. The scientists can only do research someone will pay for. Often that is very wealthy parents of autistic children who have certain predisposed ideas about autism as an inconvenience and unwanted surprise, and lean into "cure" and "prevention" mentality. The irony is many of those wealthy parents of autistic children who fund the horrible autism research have a higher likelihood of being autistic themselves. It's this idea that's been kicking around in my head a few weeks now that the biggest threat to autistic people are wealthy autistic people who are trying to eradicate autism. Perhaps I project this because my mother seems to be a powerfully autistic-hating autistic person. And if she had a lot of money to donate to universities, she would be looking for a "cure" or "prevention" so that others don't have to live through the hell she did (me) /s.

Totally relate to the animal thing. I have snakes....big ones. My biggest male is a rescue and was in bad shape when I found him.... after 2 years of gaining his trust I am now able to hold him. Someone online offered me $10,000 when they saw a video I posted of him. And I would never even consider giving him up. He's my favorite child... And my human kids know it and accept it.

Leg might have yo get chopped offff😂😂 I so get how the mind went from hoping it heals soon to just chopped off. Some may see this as just negative talk but its also humor. Write the story awsome

My step Brothers high func autistic. He KICKS dogs & cats ! He doesn't want anyone knowing his birthday because if they give him a gift he'll have to spend money on the person that gave them a gift for their birthday..he's very cheap. But he wears all Ralph Lauren clothes and Ralph Lauren shoes underwear and socks !!!

What I also find a weird social construct is how romantic relationships are always considered as the pinnacle of relationships. Maybe it’s because I’ve not been in a romantic/sexual relationship… but… I don’t see it. I don’t see why it should be inherently worth more than friends or family. Being ‘more than friends’. I get what that means, kind of. I think it seems important that your partner is your friend first and foremost. But my small bunch of platonic friends are super valuable to me. I don’t see why one should be inherently worth more than the other.

Diagnoses destroy lives. Period.

✝️📖🛐🕊❣️ Psalm 139:14 says "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." Also read in the Bible 2 Timothy 3:16 and 2 Peter 1:20-21. Our life hear on the earth is temporary, we need to learn all about our existence and what we are supposed to be doing nomatter wherever you are at. Learn about The Lord Jesus Christ (John 14:6) that he is the way the truth and the life no man cometh onto the Father but by me. Also read. Hebrews 9:8-12. ❤️