Hi Paul. Sorry to hear you've been unwell and I'm glad you're feeling better. I just wanted to say how much I appreciated your channel. I've recently had a diagnosis at age 36 and much of the mainstream/popular content on autism doesn't really resonate with me and I struggle to connect with it. Your perspective, on the other hand, is the closest I've come to my own and it resonates deeply. Your channel has really helped my feel less alone and gain insight into myself and my "version" of autism. Thank you mate.
Hi Derek Thanks for that, it's much appreciated. Glad it can help in any way. And the reasons you give are the reasons I started my own channel, as I couldn't find anyone to listen to. Just glad some of the nonsense that falls out my face hits with the right people 👍🏻
I can so relate to this. I am 46 years old on short term disability. I just broke. I finally realized that I am autistic. I took a bunch of online tests, talked to people who knew me in my childhood, talked to my NP and counselor. I am shocked to come to terms that I am autistic. My knowledge of autism is very limited. Your videos have really helped. Thank you.
I can't tell you how helpful this video has been. Its the first time I have have found a creator where I feel like someone, at least 1 person, knows how this feels. Thank you so much for all your work in producing this content on your channel ❤
Hey Paul! Sorry you had to suffer being ill on your holiday, glad your better. I hate going back out when i've stayed in for awhile. It can give me so much anxiety that it feels like someone is standing on my chest. Thanks Paul! Still smiling.
You might enjoy living as a farmer. I’ve left the city/suburbs for life in the countryside. Fresh air, no traffic. It’s exactly perfect for me and just like Sarah Hendrickx suggests, a “low arousal” life. Peaceful as possible. Your George would like it too.
Hey Paul hope you doing well man. See when you said about you give so much of yourself to other so you can blend in, that you don't feel like there's nothing else of yourself left. And you feel like a background character. That hit me so hard it cause iv never been able to find those words Be proud of yourself helping others
Hello, Paul. I realize this video has been posted for a while, but it touches on almost everything I struggle with, and I just wanted to say it makes me feel better to know I’m not the only one. Appreciate the content you make. Thank you. Waffle on.
Welcome back! I missed your big [ugly] face. It saddened me to hear you were so unwell. Thank you for surviving. It's been a lot of work trying to remember to remind myself to keep smiling. 😜 I liked the back-story of the beard. My leg hair has a similar one, though it's definitely not enhancing my appearance any. 😆 I might be the only one on planet earth who wants to work, and I feel like I've reached the point of giving up. I like structure and routine. I like having a place to go and a thing to do that earns me money and gives me a bit of independence, but being taken advantage of and breaking my back and burning out over and over again just doesn't seem worth it anymore. So I make sure I get out in the world every day to interact with people. Using cash only helps with that. I spread out my grocery shopping to give me frequent destinations, because if I don't engage with the world, I forget how. Dealing with cashiers is very predictable and scripted, but it's better than nothing. Even this sort of interaction doesn't really help because typing and speaking are two very different functions. Really, I'm just talking to myself in my head as I type these words. I can't imagine speaking to you face to face. I would probably feel self -conscious and worry about the wrong thing coming out of my mouth and get flustered when it did. But I think you would laugh at me with me, so it would be ok. 🙃🙂
'If I don't engage with the world, I'll forget how'...that is the best way of putting it. Exactly how I am. I like your style of being out in the world too picking predicable, low risk events to keep the cogs turning. And don't worry, I can only speak to a camera...People on a personal level, not so much!
Hi Paul, nice to see you back on! Though I guess it hasn’t been that long really. I am exactly the same way. I typically work two days and then have four days off. In that short time I dread having to go back. I feel the same. Can’t be myself, out of sync and tired. Always so tired after work. Glad you are recovering from Covid. Really sorry to had to go through it twice!
Hi Bryan, let's just hope I don't get it again anytime soon! It's like we have to stay dialled into work to keep the motion going, as when we get time to slow down, the harder it seems to start back up.
“Always so tired after work” More like completely zapped. Physically I’m tired but mentally I’m just completely fried. It goes beyond tiredness in my case
My husband has a goatee for the same reason his face is oddly round, he looks like a teenager without it lol. I'm a stay at home mom/caregiver at the moment but when I do return to the workforce I'm not going to work the same hours I was putting in. I hate shitty drivers too. Turn signals aren't optional!! Hope you're feeling better, Paul. Take care!
Haha, good to hear of another round headed gentleman out there. And I agree, trun signals are not optional! People driving death machines and I'm just meant to guess what you're doing? Nope!
I've got the same problem with work or anything I give it 110%. Someone asked what is good about being autistic and I said we give thing 110% and put so much thought into anything it's good but it's bad as then it can effect us mentally and physically. Luckily I'm my new employment I can buy holidays. I really struggle with going back to work after being off it's more because I've been at home and not had to "people" ive recharged by not going out and just taking my time. To then having to go back into that fast paced environment which isn't just work it's my brain constantly thinking and me constantly on the go 😞
We do. We give as much as we can...and give emotion with it too. Unfortunately, it isn't taken the right way for some reason, and what caused me stress and to leave the last two workplaces. Buying holidays is always a perk. I can do it where I am now, but they only allow 3 extra days, whereas the last two places allowed 5 extra days. It always blows my mind when people have holidays left at the end of the year! How can people have annual leave left?!
Aw sorry about the lingering effects of Covid but I’m glad you’re on the mend. Totally agree that if everyone acted respectfully of everyone else instead of pushing ahead and only thinking of themselves, this would be a much better planet. And it’s true that when we sink into our comfort zone it’s hard to get back out again. This was a fun waffle, like always 🙂 Take care!
You are definitely not the only one. I think it definitely gets harder with age. I find that after Christmas & New Year (my birthday in the middle) i really struggle to get back out into the world in January. Always thought it was just me. Just wanted to say i had a late diagnosis at 54 and just recently found your channel. Really enjoying your videos. 😊
Hi Paul! 😁 So glad to see you! (which sounds like a small-talk norm thing to say, but I actually mean it 😂). Once again, I couldn't relate more if I tried!! I'm gonna try to remain calm and keep my excitement of how strongly I relate under control 🙈 But it's like the very issue I've just been thinking about is the exact issue that you make a video about shortly after 🥳 You're definitely not out of sync with me, I can assure you of that at least 😂 Ofc the fact that we're coming out of the festive period is why 'returning to the world' is a lot of our issues right now, but I was only telling myself earlier that I dread leaving the house and people-ing so much more when I haven't had to for a while. I absolutely dread it full stop, but going back after extra me time? It's almost a "how much do I really wanna be alive?" level of anxiety, honestly. I do wonder if a lot of it is my difficulty with transitions and my PDA, to name just 2 of my 99 problems 🙃 Even if I've just missed 1 weekend at my weekend job, it's so much more anxietifying to go back the following weekend. It's near impossible to find people who want to treat you with actual respect too, so people-ing in general is an adrenaline stress-fest. I so relate to how you talked about your nerves and your odd reaction after working for ages and your brain needing a reboot. Every job I've ever had (all 4 of them 🤦🏻♀️) have been so unsuitable for me for one reason or another, though admittedly my main issue has been how I'm treated by people I work with/for. My major burnout that I'm still not recovered from, what I call "The great burnout of 2020" lol, felt so much like how you've described your nerve reaction. Also just chronic fatigue, like gravity was, erm, more 🤷🏻♀️ In the minus numbers of spoons. Anyway, I too could waffle all day but I'm gonna leave you with "I relate to the lot!" Watching my fellow autistic folk sharing their experiences on this accessible platform is saving my life tbh. Thank you again, you have no idea how helpful it is to hear from you! It's not just waffle, it's changing things for the better for so many of us. Speaking for myself only though, just thank you so much!!! Shower beautiful George with all the love and affection in the world from me! 😁🥰 Tell him he's wonderfloof 💖 Tell Dexter he's great too, haha 🥰 I know cattos are more independent 😸🐾 Glad you survived this festive AND disease-ridden time of year!!
I get everything you said. Especially the returning to work when you miss a weekend. The number of jobs I didn't return to when I was younger because I had 'the break', and due to the anxiety just boiling over, needed to walk away so I could feel I could breathe again...and now I have to stay as dialled in as possible to keep anxiety reduced? I'm a conundrum to me at times. It would be a different world if we has 'Respect Day', and people had to treat others with regard. Maybe I'd even venture out to take part. I'm good at that bit after all!
Hi Paul, I've stayed up late to watch your video even though I am giddy with tiredness. You said you would rather talk about silly things at work well I agree. Where I work (I told you in a recent email) we are some of us creatives and I am sure others are ND and some of us ( mainly me 😄) like to talk our fair share of bat shit crazy talk to help get through the day. So I come up with a strategy, I call it " boring but true" 😄 I have a thing where I heckle to a few colleagues who I know will indulge me when I have some seemingly uninteresting but interesting random facts or storeys that I just need to share or blurt out and they will usually listen and even Sometimes join in! which is great because it kind of "normalises" my otherwise odd behaviour. It helps that a lot of us have all worked where I work for so long and are familiar with each other. One guys theory is that where we work isn't really our work place and that we are all actually in patients trapped in an asylum disguised as a real company doing real work because the place is so bloody crazy! 😆 Anyway thanks for the video and the advice and for making me laugh. Zoe
Haha, that's a good way of viewing a workplace. I have hidden things in the same sense...such as I think I work directly for my friends, so I want to make sure we all get where we need to be, together. That way when times are hard and busy, I feel as if it's us against the world and we fight though together. And you know what? It helps. It's not real though, but the reality is much more bleak!! But if it works, it works 👍🏻
It’s not just you…and now see the struggle of experiencing the world quite differently is real, in relating to so much of what you, et al. have shared openly, with such candor. TY much appreciated 🙂
for ear, try hydrogen pero xide. Pour about 1 tbsp into your ear with your head tipped towards your shoulder. You should hear bubbling and crackling inside your ear, when it stops, tip your head the other way to dump the h2o2 out. Repeat several times a day. The h2o2 will either loosen the wax so it comes free, or at the least, it will soften the wax so it is easier for the dr to remove it. I've had this several times, and it hurts, but it's over in a flash. DO NOT STICK ANYTHING IN YOUR EAR. You could make it a lot worse.
Paul it is so great to see you back on TH-cam. Sorry you are ill again! You are in our thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery. I agree with you about transitioning back into society after having time alone; it is quite difficult for me as well. I’m curious - did you make any New Year’s resolutions for 2023? What is your biggest goal this year?
Hi Rebecca, No resolutions this time. Last year it was to row the distance of a marathon on a rowing machine...then ended up with my damaged knee in Feb or March playing with the dog. So I'm not telling the universe in case it causes another injury somewhere! Maybe I try tricking the universe and say I want to be poor, so it let's me win the lottery instead since it likes to give me the opposite of what I want 😂
I definitely line up. It's hard to get back out again after a good break. Nit tasting was the worse! Texture was awful... The only thing I could eat was chicken noodle soup, because I could kinda taste the salt in it. Life is legitimately pointless if you cant taste food! And I had it for over a month and kept having fevers for months after. During that time I isolated in our bedroom and I really got to know me and relized i probably had ASD. It was a video of toddlers and what to look for in asd. I watche dit because my daughter is off from the social norm. And i started crying because i remember doing all these things myself when i was that age. I felt like myife was stollen from me. Being forced to sit still or getting hit for moving around to much. Covering my ears because the person yelling at me hurt me ears and getting hit for it. I wasn't trying to be rude your loud. Or not looking at people when they talk to you. So having someone grab my face and firce it to look at them... Masking doesn't even begin to cover what my brain had to do to cope! Anyways being alone for a month got me on the journey to figure out who I was. And youve helped so much. I know i go on.. and i comment on nearly every video, but I can't press how helpful your words are. 😅 God I don't even know where I'm going with something I'm saying sometimes. It becoming harder to go back out in the world was made me crashed and had a complete breakdown. My brains totally trash and going out makes me cry and have panic attacks. Thank God my husband has income because I can't work anymore. And i LOVE my job. I was good at it and the bosses loved me. I'm very loyal to them. But i just can't do it anymore. Besides my physical limitations now, masking takes all my coins. And since I live with my family my coins are already gone before I've even left the house. I'm not looking for sympathy or trying to defend myself. I'm good my family is very supportive and good, but damn sometimes man... I NEED to be alone! And even when i get a minute alone its never long enough to actually take off my masks, because I'm not even comfortable with it or myself. It sounds like a laptop battery that's can only fully charge so many times till it doesn't hold one anymore.
Oh Paul what a wonderful video. I have been feeling anxious about going out tomorrow to help at an allotment, which I do once a week. I have been trying to think why I never want to go and what's wrong with me. It's only for two hours. It's like your video says, it's about not wanting to go out into the world where its so hard and tiring for you to cope. I had not realised this. You are helping me to have insight into my own life. Thank you so much.im going to watch all your videos.
Hi Paul, I missed all these back when they dropped. So sorry you went through the nasty c experience. Had my own similar but instead of loosing the sense of smell mine morphed into the everything smells and tastes like dying rotting meat and lost a ton due to repulsion. The smell eventually normalized took months for me. But I still can’t eat all of those foods I loved back then my brain identified what I was eating…. all my favorite foods were the enemy not the c virus. Darn it! Developed an Oxalate sensitivity and things snowballed like an avalanche of destruction. Still trying to recover a year and a half later. So thanks for validating the reality of how this thing can take some of us down town for a booking trauma experience not a death penalty and not a quick in and out on bail… but a hold no don’t. It is hard to go back to the real world after a hold lol. Suddenly life and freedom seems more important than all those petty work “issues” eh? It all just seems so ill-relevant (pun intended) to what matters… a life worth living. Good to see you again! I like the way you process. Yes… stop it… stop acting like my existence in the road isn’t worthy 😂😂😂😂 Designing a car that detonated when someone hits the honker when it isn’t a safety issue. Start there and humanity will evolve to a better place 😊
Hi Paul I have always had the same problem with annual leave, I think the main problem for me is that I’m breaking my work routine, as much as I like having time off work I find it extremely difficult to get back on track when I return to work almost to the point that I feel that I have got to relearn things that I have been doing for the past 30 years. Sorry to hear that you had to pay out £25 for a battery for your watch, have you ever looked at the citizen eco drive watches they are fantastic and you will never have a battery issue again, well at least not in the next 20 years.
Hi Jason, That's how I am with work too, even when I took a couple of extra days, I forgot my password! So relearning is what I need to do because remembering is out the question. I was never into watches, then one caught my eye and I bought it. But would have avoided it if I knew the batteries would be silly prices.
Excellent discussion especially the part about being in-sync. Early in the covid shutdown I participated online for work and also on Zoom with some people I know in an interest group I'd been part of in person, they then started to increasingly become a social group which was my least favorite part. I gave up the Zoom group, since with my autism it was disorienting. It's hard enough to interact with a group of people in person, but on Zoom, for me, it's like the uncanny valley for a group, especially social stuff. Zoom accentuates the out-of-sync experience for me by a lot. I'm now in a different Zoom group, more on-topic, for a different interest, but usually keep my camera off, as do a few others in the group (hooray). I don't keep tuned in to the visuals continually and try to do other routine tasks (sort my mail, etc) and that leads to less burnout. I can still follow the audio portion. Most often the first part of the meeting (weekly) is chitchat, so sometimes I'll be a little late to miss that part. I'm not usually late, but this helps me stay more balanced. Still, socializing minimally on Zoom like this takes a toll and I usually am exhausted and fall asleep before bedtime due to that. Wondering if I should continue with these type of groups in the future. I suspect some autistic people do better on Zoom than in person, but not me. Perhaps because I'm a very visual person.
I have to use Zoom to deliver training. I find it much more difficult than delivering face to face training. I need to 'read the room' when I train, and it's impossible when people have their cameras off. I know full well some people put their training on, then turn the camera off, and walk away from it. It's the same with phone calls, I struggle as I need to see the person I'm talking to so I can pick up the social queue of when I'm to speak etc.
Wow! Absolutely everything you said; well except for the babies. I love everything baby… people, animals… their smell (yup, weird, but I embrace that weirdness! LOL) When I was younger I did lots of hours and mega availability. Most employees are happy to receive that but not as generous in giving back when you need it reciprocated. I rarely took vacations…no point, I didn’t do anything anyway (how I didn’t understand!) I left work because of Covid and am in my third year of being home. Going back out there… I will have to I know, but now I want a job where I don’t have to deal with any customers (I was previously a nurses’ aide) nor do I wish to work with other employees 🤦🏼♀️. The thought of having to deal with anyone else’s drama… 🤯🫣 Sorry you were sick… when it’s bad I hear it’s baaaddd. Glad you are on the mend! Appreciate the video. Take care.
I know exactly what you mean...I gave everything, but when I wanted 1% of something back, it was seen like I was expecting the world. I learnt my lesson, and in times where it needs more than the work role, I make sure my employer knows that if I give, I expect to return in equal measure. The reason I do what I do now for a living is because I can't work in customer care anymore because... I don't care about the customer. If someone speaks to me like an idiot, they're talking to the person and not a job role, so they shouldn't be surprised if I start cracking my knuckles.
I just cant go back. Clairempathy and partial OBE cptsd have kicked in. I came back to kansas, USA. Under the advice of karra. Found some healing. And greater psychic ability. And some added injury. I came back because, in part, due to greedflation and couldnt afford to live where i was living. Also because of substandard housing that wouldnt allow me control triggering variables that caused me to be distegulated. I returned to build a small eco-friendly house. A small sanctuary as karra calls it. But my stupid boomer parent suddenly dont want me too. I guess they dont want me to heal or get out of poverty. Karra is working on a plan.
❤️It’s not just you, Paul. If you’re not working & are aware of *Meetups App, there’s a ASD Social Group that some talk some just listen. I’m not sure if it’s possible to get connected in the UK though? *Do What Helps You* Is not always understood by many individual here in the states
I am glad things like that exist for those who feel they may need them, but I don't do well in other peoples company...even Autistic people who fully understand what I am feeling. I am the ultimate recluse! 👍🏻
Oof, last christmas I got a terrible cold (not covid, how rebellious, right!?) and had to book a private clinic as public places were not open on holidays. There was a similar situation with my left ear. The doc said it's a common after-cold problem and described some testosterone nasal drops. I know it sounds weird 😆 But they resolved the issue in two days (my ear had been blocked for two WEEKS, so it was a huge relief).
I just love that word “fancy”. I do fancy giving them a watch and it isn’t background noise to me it’s a nice word stim 😘 Fancy fancy fancy fancy… Reba Macintyre… red velvet dress and a locket that said to think is self be true… I was once. Young country and western Texas girl that would belt that song when it came on the radio every hour for royalties for the gentlemen. Be nice to the gentlemen fancy nail be nice to you. Every word a lyric every lyric a memory ❤❤❤ When you say if you fancy given them a watch I just start singing fancy and listen to a real gentleman talk not like those gentlemen she was talking bout 😂❤❤❤❤ It’s not background “noise” it’s a whole song and dance stim 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼😆
Hi Paul. Sorry to hear you've been unwell and I'm glad you're feeling better. I just wanted to say how much I appreciated your channel. I've recently had a diagnosis at age 36 and much of the mainstream/popular content on autism doesn't really resonate with me and I struggle to connect with it. Your perspective, on the other hand, is the closest I've come to my own and it resonates deeply. Your channel has really helped my feel less alone and gain insight into myself and my "version" of autism. Thank you mate.
Hi Derek
Thanks for that, it's much appreciated. Glad it can help in any way. And the reasons you give are the reasons I started my own channel, as I couldn't find anyone to listen to. Just glad some of the nonsense that falls out my face hits with the right people 👍🏻
I also feel that way Derek. Wanna start a introverts club? 🤣
@Joy Grassman a club? Nah, sounds too people-y 😂
@derekbudd1476 rules of the club- Never show up for a meeting. If you show up, its grounds for being thrown out. 🤪
I can so relate to this. I am 46 years old on short term disability. I just broke. I finally realized that I am autistic. I took a bunch of online tests, talked to people who knew me in my childhood, talked to my NP and counselor. I am shocked to come to terms that I am autistic. My knowledge of autism is very limited. Your videos have really helped. Thank you.
Happy to help where I can 👍🏻
I can't tell you how helpful this video has been. Its the first time I have have found a creator where I feel like someone, at least 1 person, knows how this feels. Thank you so much for all your work in producing this content on your channel ❤
I appreciate your kind words, thank you 😁
Hey Paul!
Sorry you had to suffer being ill on your holiday, glad your better.
I hate going back out when i've stayed in for awhile. It can give me so much anxiety that it feels like someone is standing on my chest.
Thanks Paul!
Still smiling.
Hey Joseph,
It is tough, for me I feel like I'm trying to walk through mud. Everything is harder than it was before to start with 👍🏻
You might enjoy living as a farmer. I’ve left the city/suburbs for life in the countryside. Fresh air, no traffic. It’s exactly perfect for me and just like Sarah Hendrickx suggests, a “low arousal” life. Peaceful as possible. Your George would like it too.
The only reason I play the lottery is to buy my freedom and live with 'low arousal'. George just thinks everything is a dog and wants to play.
Green acres here I come. Found some healing, without the help of my stupid boomer farmer parents
I like the way you say "Y'Alright" if feels like you really care to know.
Y'Alright 👍🏻
Hey Paul hope you doing well man.
See when you said about you give so much of yourself to other so you can blend in, that you don't feel like there's nothing else of yourself left. And you feel like a background character.
That hit me so hard it cause iv never been able to find those words
Be proud of yourself helping others
Hi Matthew, thanks for that. Appreciated 👍🏻
I found you on spotify. The video comment made me want to find you on you tube. You are great on both formats
I appreciate that 👍🏻
Hello, Paul. I realize this video has been posted for a while, but it touches on almost everything I struggle with, and I just wanted to say it makes me feel better to know I’m not the only one. Appreciate the content you make. Thank you. Waffle on.
Thank you, I appreciate that 👍🏻
Welcome back! I missed your big [ugly] face. It saddened me to hear you were so unwell. Thank you for surviving. It's been a lot of work trying to remember to remind myself to keep smiling. 😜
I liked the back-story of the beard. My leg hair has a similar one, though it's definitely not enhancing my appearance any. 😆
I might be the only one on planet earth who wants to work, and I feel like I've reached the point of giving up. I like structure and routine. I like having a place to go and a thing to do that earns me money and gives me a bit of independence, but being taken advantage of and breaking my back and burning out over and over again just doesn't seem worth it anymore. So I make sure I get out in the world every day to interact with people. Using cash only helps with that. I spread out my grocery shopping to give me frequent destinations, because if I don't engage with the world, I forget how. Dealing with cashiers is very predictable and scripted, but it's better than nothing. Even this sort of interaction doesn't really help because typing and speaking are two very different functions. Really, I'm just talking to myself in my head as I type these words. I can't imagine speaking to you face to face. I would probably feel self -conscious and worry about the wrong thing coming out of my mouth and get flustered when it did. But I think you would laugh at me with me, so it would be ok. 🙃🙂
'If I don't engage with the world, I'll forget how'...that is the best way of putting it. Exactly how I am.
I like your style of being out in the world too picking predicable, low risk events to keep the cogs turning.
And don't worry, I can only speak to a camera...People on a personal level, not so much!
Hi Paul, nice to see you back on! Though I guess it hasn’t been that long really. I am exactly the same way. I typically work two days and then have four days off. In that short time I dread having to go back. I feel the same. Can’t be myself, out of sync and tired. Always so tired after work. Glad you are recovering from Covid. Really sorry to had to go through it twice!
Hi Bryan, let's just hope I don't get it again anytime soon!
It's like we have to stay dialled into work to keep the motion going, as when we get time to slow down, the harder it seems to start back up.
“Always so tired after work”
More like completely zapped. Physically I’m tired but mentally I’m just completely fried. It goes beyond tiredness in my case
I know I never have enough energy to ever consider doing anything that involves leaving the house.
Hope you feel better every day Paul. I hated going back to work after a holiday too and I didn't like finding out what had changed while I was away.
Thank you. I rarely find things change for the better unfortunately.
My husband has a goatee for the same reason his face is oddly round, he looks like a teenager without it lol. I'm a stay at home mom/caregiver at the moment but when I do return to the workforce I'm not going to work the same hours I was putting in. I hate shitty drivers too. Turn signals aren't optional!! Hope you're feeling better, Paul. Take care!
Haha, good to hear of another round headed gentleman out there. And I agree, trun signals are not optional! People driving death machines and I'm just meant to guess what you're doing? Nope!
I've got the same problem with work or anything I give it 110%. Someone asked what is good about being autistic and I said we give thing 110% and put so much thought into anything it's good but it's bad as then it can effect us mentally and physically. Luckily I'm my new employment I can buy holidays. I really struggle with going back to work after being off it's more because I've been at home and not had to "people" ive recharged by not going out and just taking my time. To then having to go back into that fast paced environment which isn't just work it's my brain constantly thinking and me constantly on the go 😞
We do. We give as much as we can...and give emotion with it too. Unfortunately, it isn't taken the right way for some reason, and what caused me stress and to leave the last two workplaces.
Buying holidays is always a perk. I can do it where I am now, but they only allow 3 extra days, whereas the last two places allowed 5 extra days.
It always blows my mind when people have holidays left at the end of the year! How can people have annual leave left?!
@@AdultwithAutism it shocks me when people don't use them and lose them and do fight at all 🤨
How people are okay with losing them is beyond all my comprehension. I'm already planning all my dates and need more.
Aw sorry about the lingering effects of Covid but I’m glad you’re on the mend. Totally agree that if everyone acted respectfully of everyone else instead of pushing ahead and only thinking of themselves, this would be a much better planet. And it’s true that when we sink into our comfort zone it’s hard to get back out again. This was a fun waffle, like always 🙂 Take care!
Thanks Marie. I'd be dangerous if I had a clue what I was talking about half the time when waffling 😂
You are definitely not the only one. I think it definitely gets harder with age. I find that after Christmas & New Year (my birthday in the middle) i really struggle to get back out into the world in January. Always thought it was just me.
Just wanted to say i had a late diagnosis at 54 and just recently found your channel. Really enjoying your videos. 😊
Thank you 👍🏻
Hi Paul! 😁 So glad to see you! (which sounds like a small-talk norm thing to say, but I actually mean it 😂).
Once again, I couldn't relate more if I tried!! I'm gonna try to remain calm and keep my excitement of how strongly I relate under control 🙈 But it's like the very issue I've just been thinking about is the exact issue that you make a video about shortly after 🥳 You're definitely not out of sync with me, I can assure you of that at least 😂
Ofc the fact that we're coming out of the festive period is why 'returning to the world' is a lot of our issues right now, but I was only telling myself earlier that I dread leaving the house and people-ing so much more when I haven't had to for a while.
I absolutely dread it full stop, but going back after extra me time? It's almost a "how much do I really wanna be alive?" level of anxiety, honestly.
I do wonder if a lot of it is my difficulty with transitions and my PDA, to name just 2 of my 99 problems 🙃
Even if I've just missed 1 weekend at my weekend job, it's so much more anxietifying to go back the following weekend. It's near impossible to find people who want to treat you with actual respect too, so people-ing in general is an adrenaline stress-fest.
I so relate to how you talked about your nerves and your odd reaction after working for ages and your brain needing a reboot. Every job I've ever had (all 4 of them 🤦🏻♀️) have been so unsuitable for me for one reason or another, though admittedly my main issue has been how I'm treated by people I work with/for.
My major burnout that I'm still not recovered from, what I call "The great burnout of 2020" lol, felt so much like how you've described your nerve reaction. Also just chronic fatigue, like gravity was, erm, more 🤷🏻♀️ In the minus numbers of spoons.
Anyway, I too could waffle all day but I'm gonna leave you with "I relate to the lot!" Watching my fellow autistic folk sharing their experiences on this accessible platform is saving my life tbh.
Thank you again, you have no idea how helpful it is to hear from you! It's not just waffle, it's changing things for the better for so many of us. Speaking for myself only though, just thank you so much!!!
Shower beautiful George with all the love and affection in the world from me! 😁🥰 Tell him he's wonderfloof 💖 Tell Dexter he's great too, haha 🥰 I know cattos are more independent 😸🐾
Glad you survived this festive AND disease-ridden time of year!!
I get everything you said. Especially the returning to work when you miss a weekend. The number of jobs I didn't return to when I was younger because I had 'the break', and due to the anxiety just boiling over, needed to walk away so I could feel I could breathe again...and now I have to stay as dialled in as possible to keep anxiety reduced? I'm a conundrum to me at times.
It would be a different world if we has 'Respect Day', and people had to treat others with regard. Maybe I'd even venture out to take part. I'm good at that bit after all!
Hi Paul, I've stayed up late to watch your video even though I am giddy with tiredness. You said you would rather talk about silly things at work well I agree. Where I work (I told you in a recent email) we are some of us creatives and I am sure others are ND and some of us ( mainly me 😄) like to talk our fair share of bat shit crazy talk to help get through the day. So I come up with a strategy, I call it " boring but true" 😄 I have a thing where I heckle to a few colleagues who I know will indulge me when I have some seemingly uninteresting but interesting random facts or storeys that I just need to share or blurt out and they will usually listen and even Sometimes join in! which is great because it kind of "normalises" my otherwise odd behaviour. It helps that a lot of us have all worked where I work for so long and are familiar with each other. One guys theory is that where we work isn't really our work place and that we are all actually in patients trapped in an asylum disguised as a real company doing real work because the place is so bloody crazy! 😆 Anyway thanks for the video and the advice and for making me laugh. Zoe
Haha, that's a good way of viewing a workplace. I have hidden things in the same sense...such as I think I work directly for my friends, so I want to make sure we all get where we need to be, together. That way when times are hard and busy, I feel as if it's us against the world and we fight though together. And you know what? It helps. It's not real though, but the reality is much more bleak!! But if it works, it works 👍🏻
It’s not just you…and now see the struggle of experiencing the world quite differently is real, in relating to so much of what you, et al. have shared openly, with such candor. TY much appreciated 🙂
for ear, try hydrogen pero xide. Pour about 1 tbsp into your ear with your head tipped towards your shoulder. You should hear bubbling and crackling inside your ear, when it stops, tip your head the other way to dump the h2o2 out. Repeat several times a day. The h2o2 will either loosen the wax so it comes free, or at the least, it will soften the wax so it is easier for the dr to remove it. I've had this several times, and it hurts, but it's over in a flash.
DO NOT STICK ANYTHING IN YOUR EAR. You could make it a lot worse.
Good to know 👍🏻
Paul it is so great to see you back on TH-cam. Sorry you are ill again! You are in our thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery. I agree with you about transitioning back into society after having time alone; it is quite difficult for me as well.
I’m curious - did you make any New Year’s resolutions for 2023? What is your biggest goal this year?
Hi Rebecca,
No resolutions this time. Last year it was to row the distance of a marathon on a rowing machine...then ended up with my damaged knee in Feb or March playing with the dog. So I'm not telling the universe in case it causes another injury somewhere!
Maybe I try tricking the universe and say I want to be poor, so it let's me win the lottery instead since it likes to give me the opposite of what I want 😂
I definitely line up. It's hard to get back out again after a good break.
Nit tasting was the worse! Texture was awful... The only thing I could eat was chicken noodle soup, because I could kinda taste the salt in it. Life is legitimately pointless if you cant taste food! And I had it for over a month and kept having fevers for months after. During that time I isolated in our bedroom and I really got to know me and relized i probably had ASD. It was a video of toddlers and what to look for in asd. I watche dit because my daughter is off from the social norm. And i started crying because i remember doing all these things myself when i was that age. I felt like myife was stollen from me. Being forced to sit still or getting hit for moving around to much. Covering my ears because the person yelling at me hurt me ears and getting hit for it. I wasn't trying to be rude your loud. Or not looking at people when they talk to you. So having someone grab my face and firce it to look at them... Masking doesn't even begin to cover what my brain had to do to cope! Anyways being alone for a month got me on the journey to figure out who I was. And youve helped so much. I know i go on.. and i comment on nearly every video, but I can't press how helpful your words are. 😅 God I don't even know where I'm going with something I'm saying sometimes.
It becoming harder to go back out in the world was made me crashed and had a complete breakdown. My brains totally trash and going out makes me cry and have panic attacks. Thank God my husband has income because I can't work anymore. And i LOVE my job. I was good at it and the bosses loved me. I'm very loyal to them. But i just can't do it anymore. Besides my physical limitations now, masking takes all my coins. And since I live with my family my coins are already gone before I've even left the house. I'm not looking for sympathy or trying to defend myself. I'm good my family is very supportive and good, but damn sometimes man... I NEED to be alone! And even when i get a minute alone its never long enough to actually take off my masks, because I'm not even comfortable with it or myself.
It sounds like a laptop battery that's can only fully charge so many times till it doesn't hold one anymore.
Oh Paul what a wonderful video. I have been feeling anxious about going out tomorrow to help at an allotment, which I do once a week. I have been trying to think why I never want to go and what's wrong with me. It's only for two hours. It's like your video says, it's about not wanting to go out into the world where its so hard and tiring for you to cope. I had not realised this. You are helping me to have insight into my own life. Thank you so much.im going to watch all your videos.
Really glad the video was useful 😁
Hi Paul, I missed all these back when they dropped. So sorry you went through the nasty c experience. Had my own similar but instead of loosing the sense of smell mine morphed into the everything smells and tastes like dying rotting meat and lost a ton due to repulsion. The smell eventually normalized took months for me. But I still can’t eat all of those foods I loved back then my brain identified what I was eating…. all my favorite foods were the enemy not the c virus. Darn it! Developed an Oxalate sensitivity and things snowballed like an avalanche of destruction. Still trying to recover a year and a half later. So thanks for validating the reality of how this thing can take some of us down town for a booking trauma experience not a death penalty and not a quick in and out on bail… but a hold no don’t. It is hard to go back to the real world after a hold lol. Suddenly life and freedom seems more important than all those petty work “issues” eh?
It all just seems so ill-relevant (pun intended) to what matters… a life worth living.
Good to see you again! I like the way you process. Yes… stop it… stop acting like my existence in the road isn’t worthy 😂😂😂😂
Designing a car that detonated when someone hits the honker when it isn’t a safety issue. Start there and humanity will evolve to a better place 😊
Hopefully you'll recover, and hopefully put it behind you, as that doesn't sound fun at all!
Hi Paul
I have always had the same problem with annual leave, I think the main problem for me is that I’m breaking my work routine, as much as I like having time off work I find it extremely difficult to get back on track when I return to work almost to the point that I feel that I have got to relearn things that I have been doing for the past 30 years. Sorry to hear that you had to pay out £25 for a battery for your watch, have you ever looked at the citizen eco drive watches they are fantastic and you will never have a battery issue again, well at least not in the next 20 years.
Hi Jason,
That's how I am with work too, even when I took a couple of extra days, I forgot my password! So relearning is what I need to do because remembering is out the question.
I was never into watches, then one caught my eye and I bought it. But would have avoided it if I knew the batteries would be silly prices.
Excellent discussion especially the part about being in-sync. Early in the covid shutdown I participated online for work and also on Zoom with some people I know in an interest group I'd been part of in person, they then started to increasingly become a social group which was my least favorite part. I gave up the Zoom group, since with my autism it was disorienting. It's hard enough to interact with a group of people in person, but on Zoom, for me, it's like the uncanny valley for a group, especially social stuff. Zoom accentuates the out-of-sync experience for me by a lot.
I'm now in a different Zoom group, more on-topic, for a different interest, but usually keep my camera off, as do a few others in the group (hooray). I don't keep tuned in to the visuals continually and try to do other routine tasks (sort my mail, etc) and that leads to less burnout. I can still follow the audio portion. Most often the first part of the meeting (weekly) is chitchat, so sometimes I'll be a little late to miss that part. I'm not usually late, but this helps me stay more balanced. Still, socializing minimally on Zoom like this takes a toll and I usually am exhausted and fall asleep before bedtime due to that. Wondering if I should continue with these type of groups in the future.
I suspect some autistic people do better on Zoom than in person, but not me. Perhaps because I'm a very visual person.
I have to use Zoom to deliver training. I find it much more difficult than delivering face to face training. I need to 'read the room' when I train, and it's impossible when people have their cameras off. I know full well some people put their training on, then turn the camera off, and walk away from it.
It's the same with phone calls, I struggle as I need to see the person I'm talking to so I can pick up the social queue of when I'm to speak etc.
Wow! Absolutely everything you said; well except for the babies. I love everything baby… people, animals… their smell (yup, weird, but I embrace that weirdness! LOL)
When I was younger I did lots of hours and mega availability. Most employees are happy to receive that but not as generous in giving back when you need it reciprocated.
I rarely took vacations…no point, I didn’t do anything anyway (how I didn’t understand!)
I left work because of Covid and am in my third year of being home. Going back out there… I will have to I know, but now I want a job where I don’t have to deal with any customers (I was previously a nurses’ aide) nor do I wish to work with other employees 🤦🏼♀️. The thought of having to deal with anyone else’s drama… 🤯🫣
Sorry you were sick… when it’s bad I hear it’s baaaddd. Glad you are on the mend! Appreciate the video. Take care.
I know exactly what you mean...I gave everything, but when I wanted 1% of something back, it was seen like I was expecting the world. I learnt my lesson, and in times where it needs more than the work role, I make sure my employer knows that if I give, I expect to return in equal measure.
The reason I do what I do now for a living is because I can't work in customer care anymore because... I don't care about the customer. If someone speaks to me like an idiot, they're talking to the person and not a job role, so they shouldn't be surprised if I start cracking my knuckles.
@@AdultwithAutism 100% agreement there. I can handle dementia but not “normal” people being nasty!
True. If people can be nasty for no good reason, they're far from normal!
It's soccer becasue you sock it 😝
I struggle with that too. Thank for the vid
Haha, I like it 👍🏻
I laughed so hard within the first two minutes 😂
Glad I could help 😂
I just cant go back. Clairempathy and partial OBE cptsd have kicked in. I came back to kansas, USA. Under the advice of karra. Found some healing. And greater psychic ability. And some added injury. I came back because, in part, due to greedflation and couldnt afford to live where i was living. Also because of substandard housing that wouldnt allow me control triggering variables that caused me to be distegulated. I returned to build a small eco-friendly house. A small sanctuary as karra calls it. But my stupid boomer parent suddenly dont want me too. I guess they dont want me to heal or get out of poverty. Karra is working on a plan.
❤️It’s not just you, Paul. If you’re not working & are aware of *Meetups App, there’s a ASD Social Group that some talk some just listen. I’m not sure if it’s possible to get connected in the UK though? *Do What Helps You* Is not always understood by many individual here in the states
I am glad things like that exist for those who feel they may need them, but I don't do well in other peoples company...even Autistic people who fully understand what I am feeling. I am the ultimate recluse! 👍🏻
Oof, last christmas I got a terrible cold (not covid, how rebellious, right!?) and had to book a private clinic as public places were not open on holidays. There was a similar situation with my left ear. The doc said it's a common after-cold problem and described some testosterone nasal drops.
I know it sounds weird 😆 But they resolved the issue in two days (my ear had been blocked for two WEEKS, so it was a huge relief).
Testosterone nasal drops?! Never have I ever heard of such things!
But I do need them, sooo I'll have to have a look around!
I just love that word “fancy”. I do fancy giving them a watch and it isn’t background noise to me it’s a nice word stim 😘
Fancy fancy fancy fancy… Reba Macintyre… red velvet dress and a locket that said to think is self be true…
I was once. Young country and western Texas girl that would belt that song when it came on the radio every hour for royalties for the gentlemen.
Be nice to the gentlemen fancy nail be nice to you.
Every word a lyric every lyric a memory ❤❤❤
When you say if you fancy given them a watch I just start singing fancy and listen to a real gentleman talk not like those gentlemen she was talking bout 😂❤❤❤❤
It’s not background “noise” it’s a whole song and dance stim 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼😆
Haha, can't beat a good word stim!
Don't you ever think : Some people need a chock collar, and I need the remote ? ;-)
That would be a fun day indeed 👍🏻