I live in the US, unfortunately. I got my diagnosis last October, at the age of 65. I'm relieved that I no longer have to deal with work and all the BS that goes with it. Monthly staff meetings were always unbearable for me, and everyone knew it. The absolute worst was when I worked nights (11 pm - 7 am). Even though the meetings were always scheduled for early afternoon, I was still required to be there. 😠 If I had known back then that I am autistic, I'm not sure how I would have handled various work situations. Kudos to you, Paul! I imagine it takes a lot of effort to advocate for yourself. My respect for you has increased. 😉i
Just going to tell you that they'd most likely fire you. Of course not for your diagnosis, but for some inane reason (That's %100 because now they have "Others" you). I'm not sure I plan to tell my new employer anything about this. Just have to find a way to survive.
The birthday thing is so recognizable. I absolutely not want to celebrate my birthday, as it's just a day as any other to me. Yeah, I was born on that day all those years ago... so what? I see no reason to act cheerful and social... and give people an opportunity to be hypocrites.
The time of covid will be a scar on so many. It broke multiple people i know, and two have now been diagnosed autistic. People shouldn't need trauma to get noticed they are struggling.
'People shouldn't need trauma to get noticed they are struggling' - absolutely right. Unfortunately, it seems to be a common route to an autism diagnosis.
I'm going through this battle, myself, and it's wild to see which of the people you work with will expose themselves as undercover dirtbags the second you stand up for yourself and ask for reasonable accommodations for your disability. I'm so happy you finally got your adjustments. I remember you mentioning them a long time ago.
What a difference it makes having an accomodating employer, it seems to make or break keeping a job. Finding that person who listens seems to be like finding a needle in a haystack!
Hopefully you can do TH-cam full-time Paul, I can see it happening you've got good insight and you're a great speaker. Hope to see you back soon! Hi to George and kitty cat
My son is 32 being assessed for Autism! He is really struggling with a young family & there is nothing out there for Autistic Dads with toddlers! Such triggers..if you here of any other fathers out there struggling to be a dad Paul please let me know! ☺️
Yep. Don't like it known in the office either. At the end of your videos you say "keep smiling" and it always puts this song in my head "Keep smilin', keep shinin' Knowing you can always count on me for sure That's what friends are for For good times and bad times I'll be on your side forever more That's what friends are for" 😅
I can definitely relate. I finally got my ADHD and ASD diagnosis last week. I had to set boundaries at work after being taken advantage of and do what I'm paid to do (and do it well) but that's it. We had a day long team building event at work for the past two years. It was the worst experience. I'd rather work a full day no breaks than ever do that again.
Hi Paul, I've got reasonable adjustments eventually with my company, I'm a gas engineer at medical centres. They're a bit old school, so no electronic devices. I was struggling to fill timesheets in, as we write mileage down from the medical centres I visit. Now I just put misc for activities at each place, and I can get one done in about an hour, instead of four. Also I don't carry my work phone around with me, they were annoyed about being able to get in touch, but I arranged I'd check it every hour! I hate talking on the phone and will just reply with a text as to what they want from me.
Texting has been a Godsend for me. Back in the early mobile phone days only folks like us preferred texting when it was press through options to get to the character you needed. I got a BlackBerry to make my texting more efficient before modern smartphones.
I wish we had this in the US. I had to wear sunglasses in doors in a particular meeting environment and I just told people it was due to migraines. I had not prepared for someone to offer me medication advice!
Hi Paul this is a very important topic, and you expressed it very well , i like how you explain each reasonable adjustment in detail , it helps both you and your employer. I also think more employers need to be aware of how to give reasonable adjustments to Autistic people such as ourselves. I hope you and George the dog are keeping well.
I really wish reasonable adjustments were accepted where I live. Unfortunately, I live in a very impoverished country with little to no care or resources. If I tried to bring up any kind of mental illness or mental conditions at work, like ADHD or autism, I'd be flagged as crazy and weird. I really hope to find a workplace that will accept my autism (and ADHD) but where I live I doubt it will happen.
I hate to say that I live in one of the richest countries in the world and the private sector has no accomodations even when the CEO is autistic. I am not sure if the US FedGov gives any accomodations to their workers. I think the public school system gives accommodations to churn out as many masking workers as possible here.
Thanks for an informative podcast. Only just discovered you Paul, wonder if there can be mire on what reasonable adjustments other people have asked for ( and hopefully got)?
This is AMAZING 😍 I also need those extra days and your company GAINS because you helped them see what you need to not burn out. Which means they get your best work which probably surpasses most employees they've had before.
I hate my birthday too. "It's got nothing to do with me, the day I was born - I just fell out of someone that day" - LOL! Funny and true. If you ever need another intermediary, just let me know. :)
Hi Paul, that last one is interesting because I often used to book an extra day's leave to recover after attending a work-related conference that I had to travel to, but if there were more than five people already booked, I couldn't take the leave. I never even realised it could be considered a reasonable adjustment.
To have been able to think all that through, identifying your needs and advocating in such a powerful way, I am in awe of you. Thankyou for sharing it so well with your examples. I related lots to your experiences, we push through for so long, finally you had enough. I hope i can advocate half as well as you soon. It's so hard. Thankyou ❤
I just escaped my full time central London role. Even one day a week in the office is too much because it means living within an easy commute to the office. No thanks. I'll make a video about it ... and agree, hate being centre of attention (no birthday singing! ever!)
Very informative. I think this video is helpful for people with autism and also those who have trouble speaking up and demanding respect in the workplace in general. It's very easy to slip into the mindset that you should just be grateful to have a job, and not advocate for yourself. Thank you for sharing your perspective. Also, you calling people a potato makes me laugh. Cheers, mate.
Mate, thanks for your videos. They make me feel so normal :P Not in like, this guys weird, I'm well normal by comparison, but that's how I think, another human thinks like this :) And you're in the UK as well, which is helpful for those little micro cultural things :) Feels like getting back to work might actually be a possibility.
I’m alright, thnx fur asking Paul! How about you? Explaining myself to *some* others can be Exhausting! Are you able to start your own business as a 🔥 fire inspections yourself or no? (I’m Not sure how that happen in England though. if it would be possible or impossible or too stressful? You appear to Really appreciate what you do :) 🚧🛑🔥
I have actually read company ethics standards and burst out laughing; it always is just on paper, never in practice, until they're threatened with legal action
If the private thought doesn't match the public statements, employers need to be called out for it. If legal action is the way to call it into check...I'm all for it.
@@AdultwithAutism Easier said than done, when one has dealt with either gaslighting or bullying in one form or another from the age of six, mostly by freezing up and not responding. It's hard enough to sort when people intend to make sense. We need advocacy.
Hi Paul , the birthday thing is something I’m going to implement, made me laugh hearing you describe that one , I’ve said before I have twins on the spectrum and now I’m convinced I’m on the spectrum also , so many of the subjects you raise I relate too , well done getting the adjustments , do you think employers would say you need formal diagnosis to agree to adjustments
Does an employer need to see an official diagnosis report? I only ask as i have recently become aware that I am autistic but will probably have to wait a long time for a clinical diagnosis appoinment.
It depends on the employer, but generally what you make official on your medical record is only needed to be clarified when it comes to reasonable adjustments. Good employers trust you and want you to be comfortable to achieve the job you are employed to do.
I live in the US, unfortunately. I got my diagnosis last October, at the age of 65. I'm relieved that I no longer have to deal with work and all the BS that goes with it. Monthly staff meetings were always unbearable for me, and everyone knew it. The absolute worst was when I worked nights (11 pm - 7 am). Even though the meetings were always scheduled for early afternoon, I was still required to be there. 😠
If I had known back then that I am autistic, I'm not sure how I would have handled various work situations.
Kudos to you, Paul! I imagine it takes a lot of effort to advocate for yourself. My respect for you has increased. 😉i
Just going to tell you that they'd most likely fire you. Of course not for your diagnosis, but for some inane reason (That's %100 because now they have "Others" you).
I'm not sure I plan to tell my new employer anything about this. Just have to find a way to survive.
The birthday thing is so recognizable. I absolutely not want to celebrate my birthday, as it's just a day as any other to me. Yeah, I was born on that day all those years ago... so what? I see no reason to act cheerful and social... and give people an opportunity to be hypocrites.
The time of covid will be a scar on so many. It broke multiple people i know, and two have now been diagnosed autistic. People shouldn't need trauma to get noticed they are struggling.
'People shouldn't need trauma to get noticed they are struggling' - absolutely right. Unfortunately, it seems to be a common route to an autism diagnosis.
I'm going through this battle, myself, and it's wild to see which of the people you work with will expose themselves as undercover dirtbags the second you stand up for yourself and ask for reasonable accommodations for your disability. I'm so happy you finally got your adjustments. I remember you mentioning them a long time ago.
What a difference it makes having an accomodating employer, it seems to make or break keeping a job. Finding that person who listens seems to be like finding a needle in a haystack!
It is like finding the needle in the haystack, absolutely. Hence why I am on probably my fortieth employer...I don't stay anymore if it is unbalanced.
Hopefully you can do TH-cam full-time Paul, I can see it happening you've got good insight and you're a great speaker.
Hope to see you back soon!
Hi to George and kitty cat
Thank you
Paul I’ve just been listening to these lasses regarding therapy & how it can be damaging for autistic adults! Worth a look lad! ☺️
My son is 32 being assessed for Autism! He is really struggling with a young family & there is nothing out there for Autistic Dads with toddlers!
Such triggers..if you here of any other fathers out there struggling to be a dad Paul please let me know! ☺️
@kaymiller9767 um yes hi there. Lol I am 28 and a dad of 2 toddlers and I struggle with them sometimes. We exist lol
I really commend you for the way you conduct your life and your essential interactions with others.
I get the birthday thing too!
Yep. Don't like it known in the office either. At the end of your videos you say "keep smiling" and it always puts this song in my head "Keep smilin', keep shinin'
Knowing you can always count on me for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for" 😅
Thank you so much for this video Paul. It really helped me preparing my own meeting with my boss 😊
Glad it was helpful
I can definitely relate. I finally got my ADHD and ASD diagnosis last week. I had to set boundaries at work after being taken advantage of and do what I'm paid to do (and do it well) but that's it. We had a day long team building event at work for the past two years. It was the worst experience. I'd rather work a full day no breaks than ever do that again.
I understand that feeling. It's in my adjustments to not attend team days for just that reason.
Hi Paul, I've got reasonable adjustments eventually with my company, I'm a gas engineer at medical centres. They're a bit old school, so no electronic devices. I was struggling to fill timesheets in, as we write mileage down from the medical centres I visit. Now I just put misc for activities at each place, and I can get one done in about an hour, instead of four. Also I don't carry my work phone around with me, they were annoyed about being able to get in touch, but I arranged I'd check it every hour! I hate talking on the phone and will just reply with a text as to what they want from me.
Texting has been a Godsend for me. Back in the early mobile phone days only folks like us preferred texting when it was press through options to get to the character you needed. I got a BlackBerry to make my texting more efficient before modern smartphones.
* relabelling various people I have met as “absolute potatoes”*
They sure are.
I understand your sentiments about London. I’ve been miserable living here so I’m moving back home very soon.
I wish we had this in the US. I had to wear sunglasses in doors in a particular meeting environment and I just told people it was due to migraines. I had not prepared for someone to offer me medication advice!
This has given me hope to ask for considerations...thank you
Hi Paul this is a very important topic, and you expressed it very well , i like how you explain each reasonable adjustment in detail , it helps both you and your employer. I also think more employers need to be aware of how to give reasonable adjustments to Autistic people such as ourselves. I hope you and George the dog are keeping well.
Thanks Gemma. Hope you are okay.
Just found your channel, and I'm so glad that I have. Thank you!
Welcome
I really wish reasonable adjustments were accepted where I live. Unfortunately, I live in a very impoverished country with little to no care or resources. If I tried to bring up any kind of mental illness or mental conditions at work, like ADHD or autism, I'd be flagged as crazy and weird. I really hope to find a workplace that will accept my autism (and ADHD) but where I live I doubt it will happen.
I hate to say that I live in one of the richest countries in the world and the private sector has no accomodations even when the CEO is autistic. I am not sure if the US FedGov gives any accomodations to their workers. I think the public school system gives accommodations to churn out as many masking workers as possible here.
Thanks for an informative podcast. Only just discovered you Paul, wonder if there can be mire on what reasonable adjustments other people have asked for ( and hopefully got)?
This is AMAZING 😍 I also need those extra days and your company GAINS because you helped them see what you need to not burn out. Which means they get your best work which probably surpasses most employees they've had before.
Exactly 👍🏻
I hate my birthday too. "It's got nothing to do with me, the day I was born - I just fell out of someone that day" - LOL! Funny and true. If you ever need another intermediary, just let me know. :)
Cheers dude, much appreciated as always. Hope you have a good easter break.
@@AdultwithAutism Thank you. Just got back from Chesterfield. Eerily quiet - I loved it! Hope you had a good one too.
Hi Paul, that last one is interesting because I often used to book an extra day's leave to recover after attending a work-related conference that I had to travel to, but if there were more than five people already booked, I couldn't take the leave. I never even realised it could be considered a reasonable adjustment.
To have been able to think all that through, identifying your needs and advocating in such a powerful way, I am in awe of you. Thankyou for sharing it so well with your examples. I related lots to your experiences, we push through for so long, finally you had enough. I hope i can advocate half as well as you soon. It's so hard. Thankyou ❤
Thank you
I just escaped my full time central London role. Even one day a week in the office is too much because it means living within an easy commute to the office. No thanks.
I'll make a video about it ... and agree, hate being centre of attention (no birthday singing! ever!)
Very informative. I think this video is helpful for people with autism and also those who have trouble speaking up and demanding respect in the workplace in general. It's very easy to slip into the mindset that you should just be grateful to have a job, and not advocate for yourself. Thank you for sharing your perspective. Also, you calling people a potato makes me laugh. Cheers, mate.
They are potatoes, or cabbages. I don't know why my human insults are food related. Think it is to stop me swearing...
@robylintjables,
Couldn't agree more. 🙏🏼❤️💐
Accommodations are the absolute minimum. Any employer that can’t achieve this absolute minimum does not deserve our talent and time.
Well said
Mate, thanks for your videos. They make me feel so normal :P Not in like, this guys weird, I'm well normal by comparison, but that's how I think, another human thinks like this :) And you're in the UK as well, which is helpful for those little micro cultural things :) Feels like getting back to work might actually be a possibility.
I’m alright, thnx fur asking Paul! How about you? Explaining myself to *some* others can be Exhausting!
Are you able to start your own business as a 🔥 fire inspections yourself or no? (I’m Not sure how that happen in England though. if it would be possible or impossible or too stressful?
You appear to Really appreciate what you do :) 🚧🛑🔥
I have actually read company ethics standards and burst out laughing; it always is just on paper, never in practice, until they're threatened with legal action
If the private thought doesn't match the public statements, employers need to be called out for it. If legal action is the way to call it into check...I'm all for it.
@@AdultwithAutism Easier said than done, when one has dealt with either gaslighting or bullying in one form or another from the age of six, mostly by freezing up and not responding. It's hard enough to sort when people intend to make sense. We need advocacy.
Hi Paul , the birthday thing is something I’m going to implement, made me laugh hearing you describe that one , I’ve said before I have twins on the spectrum and now I’m convinced I’m on the spectrum also , so many of the subjects you raise I relate too , well done getting the adjustments , do you think employers would say you need formal diagnosis to agree to adjustments
🎉 Happy Birthday 🎉
Well. 1 in 282 chance.
Haha
The first one. Urgh. Just mentioning it made me uncomfortable. Believe me, mate, I get it
Does an employer need to see an official diagnosis report? I only ask as i have recently become aware that I am autistic but will probably have to wait a long time for a clinical diagnosis appoinment.
It depends on the employer, but generally what you make official on your medical record is only needed to be clarified when it comes to reasonable adjustments. Good employers trust you and want you to be comfortable to achieve the job you are employed to do.