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Yes, that’s exactly right! I love the term “radical acceptance”. I wish I’d thought to mention it 🖤

Yes, this is exactly the way I saw this challenge, too. Therapy is the perfect example 🖤

You’re very welcome! And yes, Galadriel is a great Mage example. What is it about the gender neutral names that bothers you so much, if you don’t mind me asking?

@@Betwixt_App I think gnr is a very confusing and harmful concept. (I'm trying to word this in a way that'll pass the filters and it's quite complicated when you're also trying to be as succint as possible). I think sticking to sex is the best course of action in order to stay in reality. I was taught from very early on both by society and my family that boys like blue, play with trucks and wear their hair short, while girls like pink, play with dolls and wear their hair long.(Not exactly like that, but I think you get my point). I then rejected my own needs and my own personality traits, and my own sexual orientation, in order to not be perceived as a monster (whenever I acted in certain ways or expressed interests that could be deemed as potentially gay, my father would react very negatively. He thought gay people were some kind of monstrous aberration, and I deeply internalized that, leading to caustic levels of self hate from which I still haven't recovered). Then, I was presented with the same ideas (boys do X, girls do Y) in a different packaging when I came into contact with the gnr idea, which I embraced and accepted as valid, at first. This gnr idea just posed the very same dogma: if you don't behave like a walking stereotype of a man, then you surely must be something else. You're not a "true" man. And thus I was led down a path that inevitably led to the trap that is the tns idea. I hated myself very deeply, and even though I had already come out as gay at that point, there was still a part of me that perceived me as wrong for being homosexual. So, thanks to the gnr idea, I started to flirt with the possibility that maybe I was actually a girl, instead of a boy, because I didn't fit 100% to the stereotype of what a man is supposed to be. Thankfully, I snapped back into reality at around age 25 (funnily enough, that's the age when the brain finally stops developing) and realized that I was just as valid as a boy as any other despite whatever personality traits, likes or dislikes I had, because the only thing that makes one a boy or a girl is their bye ah l@ gee. I would have fallen hard down a very painful cliff, if the idea of gnr had been introduced to me earlier, because I would have jumped into it and gone "tns", as a way to avoid my sexuality: no longer a gay boy, but a "straight girl".

Oh wow. That was not the answer I was expecting. Thank you for sharing, and I’m very sorry to hear about the struggle you had with this. From how it sounds to me, I think we both take issue with the same thing - the unrealistic and rigid traditional gender-related expectations forced upon people - but we have contrasting ideas about how to tackle that problem. As someone who has never connected with the gender associated with my biological sex (although I haven’t struggled with this), I feel as though anything that shakes up the way we’re expected to perform our gender is a good thing. I’d like to see us moving forward into a world where children don’t suffer from feeling as if they don’t fit their sex, which I don’t see happening by doubling down on the division of roles. But that’s just my opinion. Thank you so much for your open and honest comment 🤍

​@@Betwixt_App You're very welcome. Thank you for being open-minded enough to have this discussion, I often get shut down immediately whenever I express this opinion, I deeply appreciate your opnenness. "I’d like to see us moving forward into a world where children don’t suffer from feeling as if they don’t fit their sex, which I don’t see happening by doubling down on the division of roles. But that’s just my opinion." Oh, I wholeheartedly agree! I 100% share this vision. However, to me the problem is that currently, both with traditional (in my opinion, outdated and rancid) ideas about sex roles, and with gnr I dee ugh low gee (sorry, otherwise I can't pass the filters) we're very much telling people the same thing: conform, or you're not really a "true man" or a "true woman". As I see it, it's the same idea enveloped in different wrappings. Old: Boys don't show emotion. If you show emotion you're a sissy. New: Boys don't show emotion. If you show emotion as a boy, then your gnr is something else, because we know that boys don't show emotion. In the spectrum of gnr a true 100% boy, doesn't show emotion, so if you show emotion, you're _something else on the spectrum._ And thus, we get the nb idea as well as the tns idea. If we simply threw the whole concept of gnr out the window, this wouldn't be a problem. No one would have "gnr" dysphoria (which is really sex dysphoria). There's nothing wrong with being a butch Crone, or a Queen with short hair, or a feminine King or Mage. The words merely differ in order to refer to the sex of the person. They aren't imposing certain roles in and of themselves, just because they're sex specific. Being a woman is a beautiful thing, and so is being a man. We're all either or, and if we learned to accept that, along with the fact that there's no one-size-fits-all to be the sex we are, the world would be a place with a lot less suffering.

It’s curious, because I agree with absolutely everything you’re saying. It’s just that, for me, there’s space for enby people in your future vision too (and I would love that world!) Interestingly, I have a female friend (lesbian, butch, in her late 40s) who holds exactly the same opinion as you. She believes she would have transitioned had she been born 30 years later. She sees non-binarism as non-feminist, basically, because (her words) so many more AFAB people identify as enby, and she sees it as a rejection of the whole gender and would rather we just embraced all the many different shapes and sizes of “woman”. Unfortunately, I think the rejection-of-female point is exactly right. Women, femininity and feminine traits are in the cultural shadow, and as a result, men repress their femininity so much they unconsciously project it out onto the women they marry and end up abusing them as a result. And girls and AFAB people (myself very much included) grow up with their femininity equally relegated to the shadow, but also “not allowed” to be boys/masculine, so we’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. Really, what is love the most would be for us to do what you mentioned earlier end delete gender entirely. That would be wonderful.

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Agreed!

it depends on what they are trying to do.. youb COULD just let them, but could you live with yourself knowing you let them do that to someone you cared about???

@@CastleHassall this will be hard to hear, but I’m from a school of thought where we create our reality, regardless if it’s on purpose or not. But yes, I’m still human and would cry my heart out in a tragic loss of a loved one.

Yes, definitely.

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Oh, yes, I should have included the Serenity Prayer in this vid as it’s a perfect description of this kind of wisdom, and the strength required to _not_ rush in to fight every battle in the headstrong Warrior way. And I love your comparison of the roles here, too. I like the idea that we must be able to move between all these modes in different situations depending on our status/experience of whatever context we’re currently in. For example, a therapist doesn’t have to be elderly to need to be able to slip into the Mage’s mode of non-involvement (this is the choose your battles thing, of course). Thanks for this comment! It’s really made me think!

@@Betwixt_App I wasn't thinking about therapist when I mentioned non-involvment, but yes, there are definitely dynamics where non-involvment is appropriate for people who are still very much active in their communities. I was thinking more parent-child, employer-employee, government-governed, etc... situations. I appreciate these videos. They're insightful and give us alot to think about.

Yes, I totally agree. And you’re welcome. I enjoyed your comment, too. Thank you 🙏🏼

Great question!! The answer is that the passive shadow withholds power and experience in a way that doesn’t contribute to their role as mentor. The positive-change Mage resists the temptation to manipulate or control others _while_ also empowering and supporting them. It’s a tough balance to achieve, tbh.

🖤💔🖤

Ooh, say more! I don’t know enough about Rastafarianism to get the reference

I’m so glad it made sense for you! I find these last two legs of the journey just so magical and powerful 🖤

Argh, yes. This is exactly the struggle. So, so hard 😤

Sometimes we have to love people from a distance.... 😞💜

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it's not always wise to always be submissive and to never try to stop things you feel are bad actions by others if someone breaks into your house and starts to attack your kid you'll see the flaw in your approach of always letting people be what they want without any resistance to them at crucial times

Say more!!!

@@Betwixt_App in my experience, the Thelemic practices are always the best in such endeavors.

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Haha! Oh no!! I really don’t think I’d be any good at that (far too much leaving the house and being an official-looking human). But I _really_ appreciate the compliment!! 😍

@@Betwixt_App relatable 😸

😂😂😂

I love this reflection/analysis! Thank you! 🩶

If you’ve never deeply grieved before… it is a lot. It is death while living.

Yes, so interesting! I find Jung’s theories on the Collective Unconscious and myth/archetypal content being an outward projection of what pre-existed internally to be fascinating, though, and maybe that means that our internal reality is just as real or even more real than the swirling mass of atoms we interpret as “reality”.

I absolutely agree. The man was a real-world Mage, and his work on archetypes and the collective unconscious opened the door to something truly magical. I’m sorry to hear about your struggle, btw. I hope you come out the other side soon 🖤

@@Betwixt_App Thank you.

Thanks so much! 😍

I’m glad to have helped and wish you luck with the conundrum!

(Blushing) Thank you!

I’m so glad this helped! There are so many books on archetypes… the ultimate is Jung’s _Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious_. It’s a little dense, but truly magical.

@@Betwixt_App It is for sure dense! :) 695 pages!! At least in the Brazilian digital version. I have just bought it! Thanks!

Greens come when you “get rid of yellow”, which doesn’t mean cutting those people out, by the way. It means deciding to be honest and authentic with them. That way, all the yellows will show their true colours, and some may well be green already. You just don’t know it (if they’re yellow) because that means you’re not showing up authentically. They haven’t met the real you yet, and you probably haven’t met the real them, either.

@@Betwixt_App wow, that was a really deep reply. I didn't get that originally from the video, but I understand what you were saying now. I think I can never be that authentic, it's a very risky thing.

Yeah, it is risky, which is why we don’t do it automatically (we’re too afraid of rejection, criticism, or of realising our longstanding friendships are actually orange), but imo, in the long term, the damage done by self-compromise far outweighs the discomfort of a friendship coming to an end or of someone’s disapproval. That’s not to say it’s easy, though! And you’re not the only one not to get that from the vid! This is by faaaaar my most misunderstood post. It’s the trouble with speaking in metaphor, I suppose 🤦🏻‍♀️

Thank you!!

It really is hard work! I wish you so much luck with the new venture 🖤✨🖤

It _is!_ It’s so totally worth it 🖤🩶🤍