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Every video you make together is so interesting! I'm always looking forward to the next one!

This discussion was very helpful. I don't know other resources out there which have discussed the role of food with a highly sensitive nervous system. Thank you.

Thank you for this conversation :) "Brain over binge" Kathren Hansen please :)

My husband is like Mike, and I can relate to everything you said about how you ended up choosing him as a mate. I have healed a lot because of my husband's steadiness (not in everything, he's not perfect, but in the things that matter most). There is a huge amount of safety I feel with him. He sees and understands me in a way that I never felt growing up, not because he is smooth or something, but because he had the character (trust in God) and patience with me.

Girls, this was so profund ! I had to listen to it twice, bc (first, english isn't my mother language, and) I felt smg was itching and I couldn't point what it is. You made me ask myself questions I never asked before. I realized a lot of things : * when I was in my deep deep restriction (A.N.) phase, I thought I had no emotions. Remember The Vampire Diaries ? "Turn off your emotions" . That was my mantra * now, without considering the angle of food, what bothers me the most is : I am independant and have always been. Never needed a relationship, just allowed some to occur here and then, only if it didn't ask me too much efforts. So, basically, I'm in the avoidance group. BUT I also have insecure attachment, bc I tend to be attracted by (or seek a bit of attention, or be attached to) people that I am ABSOLUTELY NOT allowed to (at work - can't give more details). Does this unsecure (and unsafe !) attachment pattern still puts me into the avoidance group ? ? 🤔 Thanks a lot 🙏❤

Thank you very much for your experience! Greetings from Poland 🇵🇱 ❤️ 🤗

The advice you share is valuable helpful and appreciated😊 You are doing a great service for me and others ❤

My feeling is that men (not all, but most) are body neutral because they get their social status from work/achievement, and not how they look. For women, its terrifying to let go as we are the "objects" and so we feel our value lies in how our bodies look.

Obesity is a risk factor for cancer, especially breast cancer which will affect 1 in 8 women. The reason is that fat cells release estrogen & excess estrogen can stimulate breast cancer cells to grow. No one ever told me this until after I had breast cancer. In every other respect I was “healthy”…blood pressure, blood sugar, & triglycerides were all normal. Obesity was my issue that I have struggled with for 20 years. I’m trying to heal my relationship with food. I have lost weight, but I am still obese & going through cancer treatment. Once you know this fact about the relationship between obesity & breast cancer, you can’t deny the impact of obesity on women’s health any longer. I should mention I have no family history & carry no genes that would have predisposed me to breast cancer.

This was a beautifully nuanced discussion, well done ladies.

I am a mother of four boys. My husband and I are both in college, and I work as a massage therapist. It is so challenging to find ways to practice self-care. I have learned that I have to make it very intentional and prioritize my schedule around self-care, instead of just trying to fit it into my schedule. So I actually put some things in my calendar that allow me to practice self-care. One of the things, and this may seem silly, is playing the legend of Zelda. I’ve noticed that during my semesters I never make time for that and it’s something I really thoroughly enjoy. It’s like a mental escape for my brain, and it is so needed when I’m in school. The gym is another thing. Also waking up before my kids get up and having my time Neuro cycling, reading the Bible and practicing EMDR therapy. Meal prepping has also become a part of my self-care because when I don’t have healthy meals planned ahead for myself I end up just eating whatever I can grab and then I end up not feeling well or energized, and it affects my studies. So now, using my Calendar as a way to put the self-care practices in and carving out time for these different things has allowed me to prioritize self-care in a way where I don’t feel guilty about it because it is so intentional. I think that as a mother, it can be really difficult to realize that self-care is essential. For me, I feel a lot of pressure from society and my husband’s family to be a certain kind of mother. It’s almost like when you’re a mom, being tired And completely burnt out proves that you’re a good mom. If I could go back and do the baby days over again, things will look a lot different! My son, who is now 10, was diagnosed with leukemia when he was four years old. During that time, I did not prioritize self-care at all. I did not even know what that looked like. I experienced severe burnout, caregiver burden, and trauma as I faced my worst fear. My son is recovered now and I am still healing from that trauma. It’s really awesome that you guys are talking about this topic because it can help a lot of people, especially new mommies, and people experiencing caregiver burden who do not realize the importance of prioritizing self-care. I’ve really enjoyed listening to your episodes. I am recovered from every eating disorder that exists, still in recovery from BDD. Your podcasts are really helping me as I am practicing exposure therapy. I am in school for psychology and hope to use my degree to help other people. Maybe I will have a podcast one day too, who knows. but for now, I really appreciate what you beautiful (and hilarious) woman are doing. Love from New Jersey ❤️ -Rach

The discussion of three levels of indulgence is so helpful.

If this issue comes from parents making you eat everything on your plate, why doesn't the rest of my family members have disordered eating, why just me?

A perfect storm is the the perfect wording for this issue

Thank you for reviewing this from an ED perspective. I, too, would have once read this book (read them all!) and been excited by a new plan (This will be the one that works!) 😂 Now I know that blueberries are awesome but I also want the bloody gummy worms. And if I am stressed out and want to regulate myself with a whole packet, it's going to work a lot better than fruit.

It's bladder spasms. The brain sends signals.

I think it is quite interesting what you are talking about about around 26:30, about how you think it is actually a psychological change in perspective that is producing the blueberries being preferred over the gummy worms. But do you think that purposefully changing your perspective in this manner to prefer healthier foods is bad for some reason?

Loved the insight. This is a wonderful topic and I thank you both for talking about permission and freedom to eat. It's a very complicated thing even though it sounds simple. After severe restriction, permission to eat can feel like opening the floodgates and I've struggled with so much weight gain listening to this permission to eat (from Tabitha Farrar for example). Even on this podcast it is inferred to that when one gives themselves the permission to eat one will eventually choose not to overeat. But what if the original permission to eat caused someone to become obese because there was always some lingering form of restriction involved for fear of even more weight gain? I am talking about myself and it would be lovely if this could be discussed in a future episode - this being - Going from a normal weight to obese in quasi recovery, starving and binging an upwards of 50 kg, really wanting to get out of the restrict, binge, restrict cycle, but giving myself permission to eat in an obese BMI body seems unfathomable. (and just to note, I hate the BMI but had to use some reference point.) @iamstefaniemichele: Simply sharing my thoughts and giving honest feedback...I do sense restriction in your last example (I'm not saying you were restricting, this is just what gets triggered in me). If it made sense for you to have protein for breakfast since last night's meal was carb heavy, then why not have waffles with eggs? and perhaps a dollop of peanut butter on the waffles? There's your protein. Also, I believe that thinking one must have actual protein every day is diet culture (there's amino acids in other foods) and carbs causing brain fog can be an infliction of clean eating culture telling us eating carbs will cause brain fog and such and such feelings and we end up feeling what is suggested that we feel. And at 35:33 I heard a Freudian slip of "you're allowed to enjoy" aka you're allowed to have waffles even if you think your body needs protein. Much love to you both and to all here ❣

I am in my 50s. I have lived in both worlds. not enough information and too much information. I have no idea what is the right way to go now, none whatsoever. diets don't work for me but neither does fuck it. feeling lost and sinking.

I so loved your gripe, Sarah, about BED being considered as less important than Anorexia and Bulimia. I don't know the figures, but BED probably affects way more people than the other 'proper' or 'real' or 'important' eating disorders. BED affects millions, but constantly slips under the radar as the 'not really a thing' disorder. Millions of people are living in misery with this, often for decades but it still isn't seen as worthy of attention or treatment. Bravo to you for saying that.

36:46 This reminded me of a book I read recently called “The End of Craving” by Mark Schatzker. It was an interesting book that, similar to this one, wasn’t helpful for recovery, but he did talk about the difference between wanting and liking and how they can change our relationship with food. It had some strange takes and some not so good advice but was enjoyable overall and had some interesting history along with a few good points, I’d recommend reading it if you haven’t! This was a great episode, thank you guys❤️

I like the sense of humour applied to this review haha 👍

Glenn Livingston has a new and updated book called defeat your cravings that is basically just never binge again but updated. Might be better to do that book to be honest.

I am a new listener! 27 year old woman from the midwest. Thanks for putting so much work into this content. It is DEFINITELY making a difference in my life.

Love your chemistry and I love your honesty! You two have helped me look at food differently which is a good thing!❤️

I couldn't love this more. Thank you 💗

Hunger feels like the nervous buzz in the pit of my stomach. It feels like I need to run. It feels like I need to fight. It feels like the panic attacks I struggle with. I totally relate.

Thank you so much for this review. I liked the tools he lays out in the book and use them daily. I did find his examples very lacking as well and the logical oversimplification was glaring. I have been on the recovery road from BED for a long time and now was dealing with habitual emotional eating and I liked his RAIN tool. It helped a lot. I agree that if I was still in the throes of BED that this book would not have been helpful. It’s suitable to people w/o an ED. The most important thing I learned is to have curiosity and I really use the noting practice. I’m so pleased you reviewed this book. I value your opinion and I agree with your conclusion.

37:54 😂 "Ok, now I am done"

I haven't read this book, I think you made great points of view, I liked them.

As a survivor of horrific abuse and torture (from cult setting in family) I struggle with multiple triggers, mental/emotional pain and flashbacks; this is reality of my life most days. It has taken me 60 years to get to the place I am today, working daily on my EDs and their roots, and facing the gravity my life story and how it has shaped me....one day at a time. I see a therapist and belong to a 12 step group, but am finding the 12 step group difficult and unrealistic at times.

Apologies everyone! The recording quality wasn't great on this one! We tried a new recording platform, which we WILL NOT be using again.

Off topic: I am curious about the word at 41:04 I think I'm.... I cant understand it, even with subtitles :) thanks

This is in my top ten favorite episodes.

Awesome Conversation! ❤ The guest has a very nice voice.

Loved this conversation- wow I was inspired by this recovery transformation!! Just good to hear from someone who has freed themselves of so many shackles. Thank you for sharing.

Great Podcast! I tend to gravitate to skinny guys because I assume that they're not too interested in food and that appeals to be because i feel like i give food way too much headspace and i don't think it's an attractive thing to be obsessing about food all the time. I really enjoyed this episode ❤

great conversation!

What is safety in your body?

Id be interested in learning about the kind of retreat Sara went on. Was it a silent retreat? Or a yoga retreat?

Every episode is so interesting and you are both always so careful to be as sensitive as possible to all listeners ❤

Thank you so much for this episode. It’s really good to know there are others “like me”. I’m approaching 50, the menopause and 30 years of eating disorders. It started with anorexia for me too and developed into bulimia. I still have problems with my body image, and disordered thoughts surfacing again with weight gain due to age. Wish I’d known some of this stuff about bingeing and restricting when I first lost control of my eating. It definitely helps to reduce some of the shame.

May I suggest a trigger warning for the Michael Phelps story? Even just mentioning it in your info above might be helpful.

This was really interesting, thank you all 💗

My absolute favourite trio 🥰