I took several classes from Matt Draper at Utah Valley University. He was my favorite professor. A man of great empathy and compassion. I have the highest regard for this wonderful teacher. God bless you, Matt! ❤️
I've also been his student and now his friend. His capacity for love and resilience in the face of adversity is awe inspiring. The world is a better place with him in it.
What a brilliant orator and storyteller. He uses words to paint scenes in a way that invites the listener to feel his pain, joy, and everything in between.
@@jbkg5898 Just because he's Mormon doesn't mean his pain isn't real. Just because he knows his way around the English language better than the average joe doesn't mean his story is less real than yours. I'm sorry you live such an uncolored life that you feel it necessary to make others as such.
WOW "Therapy is not about curing a diagnosed mental illness. Instead, it is how to love, relate, and help others cope in the face of what a broken world gives them." (I paraphrased a bit) Chills, thank you for sharing.
I agree. This is often true. I am a grieving parent. I cannot be fixed. I don’t want to be fixed. I just need my therapist to listen to me and then reframe my thinking so perhaps it’s a bit more logical. For a while. I just need her to sit with me in my pain. This episode of SWU was and will continue to be the apex of this channel.
His entire being was on display for us. I have never felt so much more than I did today. Your story was infinitely felt and so impactful. Thank you, Mark, for choosing this man's story. ❤
This is one of the most profound interviews I have heard on this channel. The image of God not being on the throne at the top of the mountain, but beside people saying “I know this hurts. Let me know when you want me to help you” (I’m paraphrasing) is so powerful. It reminds me of Psalm 23, that when we walk through the darkest valley, God is with us. His rod and staff comfort us.
I don't believe in god at all but I can 100% get behind what you wrote. In end it doesn't matter. As long as we share compassion and love and undertanding and acceptance we can happily live together on earth :)
@@rumbatumblajambomambo6241. Wow, l am blown away by those that cannot see very clearly that their IS a Creator. Study cosmology, biology, look at the natural world ALL around you and tell me this is ALL random! The ruling psychopaths have done a number on humanity and our objective reality…it’s called mind CONtrol and you are brainwashed. May the Creator bliss you out of your grand delusions!
I had to bury a 2 yr old son in 1987 and cremate a 41 yr old daughter in 2020. My culture is Choctaw. We are story tellers. If we were not telling our family or personal stories we were reading books. My fav part of pow wows as a child was the story telling circles and Dancing. When I grew older I told stories in my dancing and my art. Each time my children died I found ways to express these new chapters of my story, to set them down in expression. You are a most fantastic story teller. I could listen to you for hours. My heart goes out to you …
My great grandsons born two months early on my deceased daughter’s (her daughters twins) birthday in May on the 13th 2024 their names are Asaiah and Amaziah. Home now and healthy. This is amazing in itself but three years ago 6 months after my daughter died her first grand child was born ON HER BIRTHDAY May 13th 2021 a grandson (her son’s son) his is is Xairo. Miracles. What else could three babies in three years born on their young deceased grandma’s birthday?
The son of my deceased daughter’s who had her first grand child was born with his heart backwards and the valves placed wrong. At 7 days old he had open heart surgery. He lived. My little brother was born with a teratoma. We didn’t know until it was discovered he had kidney cancer and next to it in the area where there should of been a healthy kidney was the teratoma tumor. He couldn’t have the cancerous kidney removed safely. So they flew to another state and had surgery to remove the cancer from his kidney. It was successful. It has not returned. When I was in my mid 30’s they found what they said was a fatty tumor in my back but they removed it they found basal cell cancer cells in it and went back in and cut out more to give me clean edges around the tumor area. They also found basal cell skin cancer on my nose. They said it was caught very early … I am from the San Fransisco Bay Area and Stanford did those surgeries. U.C San Francisco did my grandson’s heart surgery l, the famous medical examiner who had a movie made about him (with Will Smith) who discovered the connection with brain damage and football players he did my daughter’s 2nd autopsy after strangers and family and friends donated to a go fund me account so we could pay him and transport my daughter’s body to the Central Valley. That autopsy gave the cause of why we lost her. She was another victim of one of the pandemics that has hit our world. My son drowned do to a bad baby sitter when I was 27..This is a convoluted telling of part of my walk with loss and losing. My faith is not Christian or Muslim or any well known organized religion. I have had people say similar things to me about the loss of my kids, my husband, my mom etc. big hugs
From one Utahn to another and from another human who also lost faith in the magic, your story hit me profoundly. You told your story so exquisitely and I could feel the pain in your word. This is one of the best interviews I have yet to see.
As an avid Tolkien reader, man of faith, and love for people and specifically those that can articulate their story so incredibly captivating yet succinct… all I can say is… Wow.
Such an eloquent, intelligent, articulate, educated, and passionate storyteller. His delivery was profound! It was like listening to an audiobook. Amazing! Lots of powerful messages to our society. I'm sorry for his loss and pain, but he has persevered.
Wowza! Such strong words “The world that we have given them is fractured. So how do we care for people in a fractured world because the world has a way of fracturing us.”
I’m not religious but what he is saying about grief is the realest thing I’ve ever heard. I lost my daughter in 2022 and I still get crippled with grief almost daily. I also loved how beautifully he said “I don’t want you to imagine this” because I used to get mad when people said “omg I can’t imagine” when in all facts this is my reality. But he’s right. We shouldn’t HAVE to imagine it. It’s unnatural to lose your child. I’m so very sorry for his loss and the family’s.
I'm sorry you lost your daughter. I am raising my 12 year old son on my own after losing my wife a little over two years ago from a pulmonary embolism. You are very strong, because I don't think I could live if I lost my son.
@@gdash4187 so sorry about your wife. That’s a terrible way to lose her. Losing my daughter killed a huge part of me. I’d like to go on this channel and tell my story one day.
Stunning interview!!! I, too, am in crisis with a child - 6 years of crisis. I have completely lost my (old) faith. But faith is a shapeshifter. It morphs into something else when you least expect it. This was the bare truth that he discovered as well. I will never forget this guy.
That is so true! My faith shifted to be more pure! Less religious! More loving! ❤ I am so sorry that you are in crisis! Hoping and praying that you and the child can find peace!
"I may have lost my faith in magic. I may have lost faith in the way my profession does things but I have not lost my faith in hope. I have not lost faith in love. So to all of you out there for whom the magic did not work, for those of you who have lost loved ones, I get it. And there are so many of us out there. You know, Hemmingway wrote in 'Farewell to Arms', "For whom the world does not kill, it breaks" and it breaks the very lovely, the very kind, and the very capable. One thing you will find when you hold to the faith, in kindness & love, is that your heart will be cracked so wide that others can walk in and find shelter there. May we all have broken hearts that we may provide shelter for one another." Profound.
Thank you Matthew. In few days it will be one year since my little sister took her life. She lived through hell here on earth. I tried to help her, save her for long time while caring for my children and my husband. Since her passing my life has been minimized to surviving day after day. Numb and lonely and more and more guilty. Therapy hasn’t worked for me. Even though I really don’t have community I, for the first time in a year, can feel light. Thank you for this. This interview made huge difference.
This is my absolute favorite interview I’ve ever watched on any platform. Amazing. I hope his family finds as much peace and comfort that can be allowed in the circumstances.
@@anncarter1663yes, exactly! Brilliant and compelling. Many other of these "interviews" are not really interviews. Mark is not an interviewer but a gifted photographer who has the time, energy, courage and interest in helping folks share their stories.
This man speaks so eloquently. It is not his grief that intrigues me. On the contrary, it is his words. How he chooses to use them that grabbed my attention. Like many of the people who share their stories on this platform, I find them comforting. I hope this man finds it therapeutic in telling his story. It's a very compelling one. May it help him, the way it helps me. I admire his strength and courage in reliving this most difficult experience. My friend, you and your family are in my prayers. Consider writing a book. It would serve you well. Many blessings.
I worked in a children’s cancer clinic for many years. I was completely captivated by the story of his grief. His articulation of grief as a parent was perfection. It was a job I have held in my heart and miss every single day. Everything else pales in comparison. We loved and fought for them all. Most of them made it or I couldn’t have done it. Healthy coping mechanisms are a necessity. I bet his son’s journey touched many lives of his caregivers too.
Losing a child. No words. Just devastating. Came close with my granddaughter. And still medically fragile. Your heart hurts. Tough stuff. Thank you for telling your story and pouring out your guts. So much pain. Broken heart open to shelter others. Beautiful.
I'm so lucky to know this man and his family since 2008. It's all true. He's a blessing to all who know him. He's comforted me because of his deep grief and compassion. So much love to you and Miriam and the Diamond Princess and the Goblin King. ❤️ I'm in awe of you and you have my loyalty forever.
Thank you for sharing this incredibly important and difficult story. I lost my 24 year old son. He wasn’t able to speak but we could read each others thoughts. On the day he was diagnosed with renal failure I felt the tiredness in his eyes, his body and his beautiful soul. We stayed by his side and like your family helped comfort him in his final few days. I am so thankful to have heard your story. “Sinking into the crashing waves” resonated with me beyond words. Wishing you peace and love.
This is the most profound interview and telling I have ever encountered. Thank you, Matthew and Mark. I love you Matthew. And will always carry the life lesson you have gifted me with today. I am grateful for your ability to relive this trial. And will remain diligent, in my love for all things living, forever and ever, Amen.
It's a rarity that I'm without words to describe how something impacted me. I'm simply without words and left sitting grateful that I had the opportunity to hear this incredible mans experience and views.
It does sound like a nice quote huh? What I get from what he said, is what a lot of people are saying nowadays; that they are gods and worship yourself because you are god. That's where many people are going wrong in this world, the created being worshipping itself instead of worshipping and glorifying the one who created them.
@@labyrinthoflies4438 and abandoned them or put them through trials they did not deserve. That is exactly why we need one another. You really did not understand what Matthew said. Not one bit.
My son passed away 4 yrs ago and I lost all faith when our prayers for him to recover went unanswered. I still struggle with my anger at god for letting my son be killed. Losing a child is a heartbreak that never heals.
As a non religious person I could never understand how people can have an unrelenting faith in god when kids are dying or suffering. Thank you for sharing x
My heart breaks for you ❤ Like you I struggled with my anger towards my Christian concept of god. It’s only when I realized that concept of god did not exist, did I find peace. I hope you find your way to heal, to be free. Hugs
What stood out to me the most was that even though Jotham was going through so much, he had so much love in his heart...so much faith... that his last communication was a prayer. He believed. I am inspired by his heart. And God did heal him. Not in the way that we all want. But, He gave him everlasting life with no sorrow, no pain, no disappointment. Matthew, you and your beautiful family will be with Jotham again one day. And what a beautiful day that will be.
Mark, wow this was an amazing interview. I could sit and listen to this man all day every day he has a eloquent way of telling a story. Heartbreaking and felt his pain but glad to hear he stood in his faith. Much love and many blessings to Matthew , his family and all who are here
That’s the most amazing story you’ve recorded yet. What a remarkable man. His description of grief, especially the loss of a child, is like non I have ever heard.
This man is so incredibly inspirational. Last July I lost my mom. The grief I’ve suffered is immense. To suffer grief is to love unconditional love. That is what I’ve been told. I have struggled so much in the last year. So many times during this interview I wished I could have hugged him.
I'm not trying to be confrontational at all, and I wish men could. Every time I have been emotional or vulnerable with a woman I was in a relationship with, they have thrown it back in my face any arguments that happened. After it happening three times since my younger days, I've learned to keep it internalized.
@@gdash4187 the reason "men don't cry" was passed on generation to generation is because it actually harms our reproductive capacity (it is unattractive to women)
Jotham was incredibly lucky to have you as his father . He is still with you because the soul never dies . Thank you for sharing your story of utter heartbreak and bravery . Sending love and light to your family 💕🌸.
I resonate so deeply with this eloquent man’s story. All the levels. The belief in the “magic”. The desperation of soul to end the suffering of your innocent child and the breaking open of your heart that others might find shelter there. Brother, I hope I meet you one day. In the crucible of affliction comes life’s grandest epiphanies. My son passed at age 9 after nothing could be found to save him from the seizures that stole him from us.
I lost my oldest son in 2010 so i know this pain. I pretend every day to move forward and being ok. This is what those who don't know this pain expect. The hardest part of my life today... Being a phony. not my true self as they know nothing about. I can't hardly wait to run from this life but just for today i will pretend one more day. Thank God for my 2nd son who is the only one here that knows this rarely spoken pain losing his only brother.
I took a class from Matt Draper at UVU and it was honestly my favorite (and hardest) class from my entire undergrad degree. I never knew this part of his story. Jotham sounds like he was an amazing person. I hope you guys will get to be together again. Thank you for the light and compassion that you bring into this world. We need more people like you, Matt.
Thank you, Matthew, for baring your soul here, and for showing us-all The Way forward-especially those of us who have lost a child. This comes at a particularly-important time, as it was three years, last week (July 13), that we lost our son, Jordan, in a swimming accident. In the time since, I thought it was impossible to articulate the “11” level of pain, and didn’t even have a label to put on it, but now, I do. THANK YOU! Hundreds of thousands, or more, will hear your testimony, and will now be able to understand. Much love to you and your family, sir.
An absolute incredible interview that sent me into an emotional spiral! What a great speaker with a philosophy born of pain, perception, faith and growth. Very impressed!
My wife and I lost our first son Oliver during the pregnancy, we went on to lose 6 more over the course of 5 years total. When the pastor of our family church came over to comfort us it was very kind but my faith was long gone. We went to church at some point after the loss. It felt as if everyone was staring at us. Thankfully we had eachother and discovered an excellent grief councillor. We're also blessed to have finally had a healthy and happy boy! Thank you for sharing your story, may your Son rest in peace and free from pain.
Matthew Draper delivers one of the most profound, and moving elegies for his son Jotham, and I am inspired by his words to reflect deeply on his message of compassion.
Could be because I’m PMSing… but I’m only 8 mins through Matthew’s story here and I’m already in tears. The love for Tolkien and GOOD in this world… and I can almost hear his Father’s voice saying, “there are jobs for people like you, and they’re called psychologists.” Thank you Matthew. I have found recently that is my calling as well. Unfortunately I never had a father-figure tell me that. I’m discovering it on my own later in life. Thank you for your uplifting spirit and share. Thanks for reminding me of my love for Tolkien as well, and a less “broken” version of myself: the nerd at 14 that re-read The Lord of the Rings 4 times, each time making the last page more wet and mascara-stained with my tears. Bless
Words cannot adequately express my gratitude for your talk Matthew. I cried for your son Jotham and my father, whose death broke the magic in my world. Thank you for your time and ability to put this pain in words.
Dear Matthew I do not know if you will ever see this message but I would really like to express my sorrow for your loss and would like to express my gratitude for sharing such an intimate experience in your life in such a heartfelt, candid and incredibly eloquent and articulate way. I was so moved by your words and just sobbed with you final statement " May we all have broken hearts that we may provide shelter for one another " That phrase touched something very deep within me. I wish you and your family much love and healing across the miles.
Powerful testimony Thankyou for explaining God so perfectly. My heart was also broken and I now have a spring of compassion and love. Thankyou sir you moved me to tears. You have the gift of a healer ❤
I wish life was fair and your son would be able to live. I’m sorry for your loss. I’m struggling so much with my situation that your words have a great impact to help me try to understand it. Thank you for sharing. I hope to hear more from you.
Mark, each time I’ve think I’ve seen the best interview on the channel you put out something that tops it. Thank you for letting Matthew share his story and his pain.
Wow, this is one of my favorite videos. This gentleman is in so much pain over the passing of his son. 5 min into the video I was captivated with his story. Will be praying for your family.
This is such a profound account of an experience no parent should ever have to endure. I don't want to thank you for sharing, but I want to acknowledge I see you, and your love for your gifts in life.
I think this might be the most important interview you’ve done, especially in light of a body of work that shines a light on the depth of human suffering. May we with broken hearts be a shelter for others.
On a rainy and dull saturday morning, I find this episode of Mark's. So hugely profound, emotion and thought provoking beyond imagining. We say it sometimes too often or with superficial intent, but here I go, thank you Matthew, for sharing this part of your experience with the world in such an eloquent and enthralling way.
I had a good friend lose her 16 year son in the last few weeks. I've been struggling to find the words to comfort her. But I reach out each day. Her faith has carried her the last few weeks. Yesterday in our daily connection . I felt this feeling come over for me. I felt like she was feeling inside that she couldn't cry or grive.. because of her faith. She keeps saying as long as I devote my entire life to God I will be reunited. It's keeping her going and for that I'm so thankful but I couldn't help but think she needed to break down and cry. To feel her loss but her faith won't allow her. God bless this man. Thank you so much for this share mark. I needed this so much.
You're a great friend! A lot of people feel uncomfortable with grief. They don't want to be reminded of their own mortality I think😢 Even if you can't find the words she appreciate it when you call❤❤❤❤
16-17 minutes in and I’m already bawling. I could listen to this man read the most dry toast book on the planet. People like this man, restore my faith in humanity.
I HAVE SHARED THIS EVERYWHERE> YOU HAVE REACHED THE PINNACLE OF WHAT CAN BE DONE ON SOFT WHITE UNDERBELLY. LOVE and PAIN ..made me think this: "Humans are emotional creatures " Grateful for Mathew Draper and this channel.
Another amazing story of pain and suffering and love,,,,,, we need more people like this,, beautiful people inside and out,,, hopefully his pain is less severe today
"When you hold to the faith in kindness and love, your heart will be cracked so wide that others can walk in and find shelter there" This statement was extremely profound to me. Sending love to all the broken hearts caused by grief of a loved one❤️❤️❤️
Usually I cannot sit through a video without my attention wondering off, I sat through this whole video hypnotized. Such a great storyteller!❤️ when you are ready let me help you up we will walk together❤️🥲
This man is an astounding storyteller. It must have been really wonderful for you to have been able to relax and just let his spirit flow so beautifully and profoundly. Thank you for finding this man and giving him such a perfect forum to share his truth.
Lost my parents to cancer as a teenager and watched my siblings and I fight to cope.... This video resonated deeply with me and my experience of love and faith. Thank you for this moving video.
Many times I truly believe God has forgotten me and my oldest son. But then something reminds me HE is with me. The Lord is with this man and his family. I pray you’re suffering lessens and never stop speaking of your beautiful boy 🙏🏽❤️
Wow how wonderfully profound and inspiring even from all your pain and heartbreak. I can’t fathom hearing those words after losing your wonderful boy. Thank you so much for sharing yours and your family’s story in such a truly beautiful way.
Thank you for sharing your families story, seeing how painful it was I’m sure you are helping a lot of ppl in their grief!! You are a wonderful storyteller just as your father….the last line is one I will think about for years to come “when you are ready let me help you up, we will walk together!” Truly amazing….💙💙
This is one of your best interviews. This man is amazing. I could listen to him for hours. Amazing speaker and the way he describes his grief is gut wrenching. I am so sorry for your loss and Thank you for sharing your story.
That man should have NEVER said you didn’t have enough faith. I am so sorry this happened to your son and your family. Thank you for sharing your story
I had to pause it at the part where someone in his congregation told him his faith just wasn’t strong enough. I was already in tears before that, but the audible gasp I let out surprised even me. My son is autistic, and parents of autistic kids spend a lot of time coping with the fact that the ideal situation would be to outlive our children. But not by this much, and most definitely not this way. I pictured my son when he was speaking about his, and I am so heartbroken for this man. My son has been written off many times by doctors and professionals, for much smaller things of course, but it seems to be a trend amongst autistic individuals that they will be written off.
Being highly empathic is a gift for everyone around you and a curse for yourself. That's my feeling. This was the best interview I have ever seen. I hear you man, much love.
This touched my soul. I have too lost faith in the magic. I lost my mom a few months ago despite everything I tried to do to keep her here. I feel responsible because the doctors missed a lot of things. I can definitely relate to everything you’re saying and I appreciate you being so real, vulnerable, and honest. Some people won’t get this, and for that I am grateful because I wouldn’t wish this type of pain on anyone. I have learned there is purpose in the pain I’ve been through, and that is so that I can better relate to others going through the same thing and be there for them in any way I can. Thank you sir for your words of wisdom. 💜💜💜
This was so very heavy. What a wonderful story teller. When he said his dad was a wonderful story teller I thought to myself that his dad passed that wonderful trait down to him. I can only imagine being one of his children listening to his stories & insight. Captivated the entire time with his big presence & profound love of language. All while holding space and sharing his warmth, heartbreak & kindness! You sir have made me stop today to take a deep breath & look around to be grateful for all that I love. Thank you for being here & sharing your magic 🫶🏼
Matthew, thank you so very much for sharing your story. You are an amazing speaker, you had me hanging on your every word. I am so sorry for all the heartache in your life, I have lost 2 children, I feel your pain. I'd like you to know that, for me, your words gave me some strength. You are an amazing human. And Mark, thank you very much for doing what you do best..... just letting people tell their story. Thank you
Wow. He is such a good storyteller. The words he use, his tone, his voice, his authenticity... I have ADHD so I really have to try to focus when I watch these interviews but he's so captivating, he actually distracted me from my phone.
I took several classes from Matt Draper at Utah Valley University. He was my favorite professor. A man of great empathy and compassion. I have the highest regard for this wonderful teacher. God bless you, Matt! ❤️
I've also been his student and now his friend. His capacity for love and resilience in the face of adversity is awe inspiring. The world is a better place with him in it.
What a brilliant orator and storyteller. He uses words to paint scenes in a way that invites the listener to feel his pain, joy, and everything in between.
Correct, a storyteller. Fiction at its best here.
A very exhausting storyteller, you see.
@@jbkg5898 Just because he's Mormon doesn't mean his pain isn't real. Just because he knows his way around the English language better than the average joe doesn't mean his story is less real than yours. I'm sorry you live such an uncolored life that you feel it necessary to make others as such.
WOW "Therapy is not about curing a diagnosed mental illness. Instead, it is how to love, relate, and help others cope in the face of what a broken world gives them." (I paraphrased a bit) Chills, thank you for sharing.
Agreed completely
Those are some real healing words right there!!
I agree. This is often true. I am a grieving parent. I cannot be fixed. I don’t want to be fixed. I just need my therapist to listen to me and then reframe my thinking so perhaps it’s a bit more logical. For a while. I just need her to sit with me in my pain. This episode of SWU was and will continue to be the apex of this channel.
Yes, and so well said.
His entire being was on display for us. I have never felt so much more than I did today. Your story was infinitely felt and so impactful. Thank you, Mark, for choosing this man's story. ❤
Mark Laita, we need more interviews like this. So totally real. So extremely deeply felt.
Yes please
Yes double please with a cherry on top 🍒
I'm glad you were entertained.
No, we don't
Agree!!
This is one of the most profound interviews I have heard on this channel. The image of God not being on the throne at the top of the mountain, but beside people saying “I know this hurts. Let me know when you want me to help you” (I’m paraphrasing) is so powerful. It reminds me of Psalm 23, that when we walk through the darkest valley, God is with us. His rod and staff comfort us.
I don't believe in god at all but I can 100% get behind what you wrote. In end it doesn't matter. As long as we share compassion and love and undertanding and acceptance we can happily live together on earth :)
@@rumbatumblajambomambo6241. Wow, l am blown away by those that cannot see very clearly that their IS a Creator. Study cosmology, biology, look at the natural world ALL around you and tell me this is ALL random! The ruling psychopaths have done a number on humanity and our objective reality…it’s called mind CONtrol and you are brainwashed. May the Creator bliss you out of your grand delusions!
“May we all have broken hearts that we may provide shelter for one another…”
Matthew Draper
I had to bury a 2 yr old son in 1987 and cremate a 41 yr old daughter in 2020. My culture is Choctaw. We are story tellers. If we were not telling our family or personal stories we were reading books. My fav part of pow wows as a child was the story telling circles and Dancing. When I grew older I told stories in my dancing and my art. Each time my children died I found ways to express these new chapters of my story, to set them down in expression.
You are a most fantastic story teller. I could listen to you for hours. My heart goes out to you …
My great grandsons born two months early on my deceased daughter’s (her daughters twins) birthday in May on the 13th 2024 their names are Asaiah and Amaziah. Home now and healthy. This is amazing in itself but three years ago 6 months after my daughter died her first grand child was born ON HER BIRTHDAY May 13th 2021 a grandson (her son’s son) his is is Xairo. Miracles. What else could three babies in three years born on their young deceased grandma’s birthday?
The son of my deceased daughter’s who had her first grand child was born with his heart backwards and the valves placed wrong. At 7 days old he had open heart surgery. He lived. My little brother was born with a teratoma. We didn’t know until it was discovered he had kidney cancer and next to it in the area where there should of been a healthy kidney was the teratoma tumor. He couldn’t have the cancerous kidney removed safely. So they flew to another state and had surgery to remove the cancer from his kidney. It was successful. It has not returned. When I was in my mid 30’s they found what they said was a fatty tumor in my back but they removed it they found basal cell cancer cells in it and went back in and cut out more to give me clean edges around the tumor area. They also found basal cell skin cancer on my nose. They said it was caught very early … I am from the San Fransisco Bay Area and Stanford did those surgeries. U.C San Francisco did my grandson’s heart surgery l, the famous medical examiner who had a movie made about him (with Will Smith) who discovered the connection with brain damage and football players he did my daughter’s 2nd autopsy after strangers and family and friends donated to a go fund me account so we could pay him and transport my daughter’s body to the Central Valley. That autopsy gave the cause of why we lost her.
She was another victim of one of the pandemics that has hit our world. My son drowned do to a bad baby sitter when I was 27..This is a convoluted telling of part of my walk with loss and losing. My faith is not Christian or Muslim or any well known organized religion. I have had people say similar things to me about the loss of my kids, my husband, my mom etc. big hugs
@lisaweatheral4458 🪶💞
@@lisaweatheral4458I’m so sorry for your losses .
@@lisaweatheral4458I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I’m hurting for you, but I’m happy you’re here.
"As heavy as the lead is in your bones, it is the source of your power". I've never heard more profound words. I love this man!
Thanks industrial pollution for adding lead to our bones!"
@@CH-lc4zi I want to be Cyclops
I don’t understand?
From one Utahn to another and from another human who also lost faith in the magic, your story hit me profoundly. You told your story so exquisitely and I could feel the pain in your word. This is one of the best interviews I have yet to see.
As an avid Tolkien reader, man of faith, and love for people and specifically those that can articulate their story so incredibly captivating yet succinct… all I can say is… Wow.
Yes. Just wow.
Such an eloquent, intelligent, articulate, educated, and passionate storyteller. His delivery was profound! It was like listening to an audiobook. Amazing! Lots of powerful messages to our society. I'm sorry for his loss and pain, but he has persevered.
May we all have broken hearts so that we can provide shelter for others.
I wouldn’t wish a broken heart on anyone. Not all of us can process this way 💔
Yes!
Wowza! Such strong words “The world that we have given them is fractured. So how do we care for people in a fractured world because the world has a way of fracturing us.”
I think I'll pass, if it's all the same to you. Life has kicked the shit out of me quite enough.
I’m not religious but what he is saying about grief is the realest thing I’ve ever heard. I lost my daughter in 2022 and I still get crippled with grief almost daily. I also loved how beautifully he said “I don’t want you to imagine this” because I used to get mad when people said “omg I can’t imagine” when in all facts this is my reality. But he’s right. We shouldn’t HAVE to imagine it. It’s unnatural to lose your child. I’m so very sorry for his loss and the family’s.
I'm sorry you lost your daughter. I am raising my 12 year old son on my own after losing my wife a little over two years ago from a pulmonary embolism. You are very strong, because I don't think I could live if I lost my son.
@@gdash4187 so sorry about your wife. That’s a terrible way to lose her. Losing my daughter killed a huge part of me. I’d like to go on this channel and tell my story one day.
@@iluvjt94 Thank you. Mark has answered every email I have ever sent him. You should contact him.
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He would be awesome for audio books... his voice is perfect
Ol Doctor D is his TH-cam channel
He certainly is a great story teller.
Im in terre haute Indiana!
His voice is like butter. It soothes my soul.
Stunning interview!!! I, too, am in crisis with a child - 6 years of crisis. I have completely lost my (old) faith. But faith is a shapeshifter. It morphs into something else when you least expect it. This was the bare truth that he discovered as well. I will never forget this guy.
That is so true! My faith shifted to be more pure! Less religious! More loving! ❤ I am so sorry that you are in crisis! Hoping and praying that you and the child can find peace!
"I may have lost my faith in magic. I may have lost faith in the way my profession does things but I have not lost my faith in hope. I have not lost faith in love. So to all of you out there for whom the magic did not work, for those of you who have lost loved ones, I get it. And there are so many of us out there.
You know, Hemmingway wrote in 'Farewell to Arms', "For whom the world does not kill, it breaks" and it breaks the very lovely, the very kind, and the very capable. One thing you will find when you hold to the faith, in kindness & love, is that your heart will be cracked so wide that others can walk in and find shelter there. May we all have broken hearts that we may provide shelter for one another."
Profound.
I wrote this entire part down as well! SO GOOD! ❤
He is correct. That is what I do. I try to lift others because I know what it feels like to fall. ❤😢❤
Wow. Did not plan on crying this morning 😢 god bless this man and his wife and Jothams siblings. My problems seem so much smaller today.
My tears just flowed, listening to this story - my goodness 🩶
Thank you Matthew. In few days it will be one year since my little sister took her life. She lived through hell here on earth. I tried to help her, save her for long time while caring for my children and my husband. Since her passing my life has been minimized to surviving day after day. Numb and lonely and more and more guilty. Therapy hasn’t worked for me. Even though I really don’t have community I, for the first time in a year, can feel light. Thank you for this. This interview made huge difference.
This is my absolute favorite interview I’ve ever watched on any platform. Amazing. I hope his family finds as much peace and comfort that can be allowed in the circumstances.
I agree. My absolute favorite.
This is not an interview. It's a well-rehearsed monologue. And he is indeed a captivating and moving storyteller. ❤
Yes, it seemed like a brilliant actor delivering a monolog---not that I doubt the story. Not at all. Interesting.
@@anncarter1663yes, exactly! Brilliant and compelling.
Many other of these "interviews" are not really interviews. Mark is not an interviewer but a gifted photographer who has the time, energy, courage and interest in helping folks share their stories.
Consider it a gift to be able to take your life experiences and orate to others in a way that can offer some solace and help to other people.
I noticed that too
yes, very performative
I’ve never known a more compassionate person, teacher, and mentor. Unbelievably grateful to continue learning from and working with Matt.
This man speaks so eloquently. It is not his grief that intrigues me. On the contrary, it is his words. How he chooses to use them that grabbed my attention.
Like many of the people who share their stories on this platform, I find them comforting. I hope this man finds it therapeutic in telling his story. It's a very compelling one. May it help him, the way it helps me. I admire his strength and courage in reliving this most difficult experience.
My friend, you and your family are in my prayers. Consider writing a book. It would serve you well. Many blessings.
I worked in a children’s cancer clinic for many years. I was completely captivated by the story of his grief. His articulation of grief as a parent was perfection. It was a job I have held in my heart and miss every single day. Everything else pales in comparison. We loved and fought for them all. Most of them made it or I couldn’t have done it. Healthy coping mechanisms are a necessity. I bet his son’s journey touched many lives of his caregivers too.
Losing a child. No words. Just devastating. Came close with my granddaughter. And still medically fragile. Your heart hurts. Tough stuff.
Thank you for telling your story and pouring out your guts. So much pain. Broken heart open to shelter others. Beautiful.
His description of grief was beautifully articulated. It is so hard.
I'm so lucky to know this man and his family since 2008. It's all true. He's a blessing to all who know him. He's comforted me because of his deep grief and compassion. So much love to you and Miriam and the Diamond Princess and the Goblin King. ❤️ I'm in awe of you and you have my loyalty forever.
Thank you for sharing this incredibly important and difficult story. I lost my 24 year old son. He wasn’t able to speak but we could read each others thoughts. On the day he was diagnosed with renal failure I felt the tiredness in his eyes, his body and his beautiful soul. We stayed by his side and like your family helped comfort him in his final few days. I am so thankful to have heard your story. “Sinking into the crashing waves” resonated with me beyond words. Wishing you peace and love.
This is the most profound interview and telling I have ever encountered. Thank you, Matthew and Mark.
I love you Matthew. And will always carry the life lesson you have gifted me with today. I am grateful for your ability to relive this trial. And will remain diligent, in my love for all things living, forever and ever, Amen.
It's a rarity that I'm without words to describe how something impacted me. I'm simply without words and left sitting grateful that I had the opportunity to hear this incredible mans experience and views.
“Divinity is found in the face of the other.” I needed to hear that. Thanks for sharing, Matthew. Sending love and positive thoughts your way.
It does sound like a nice quote huh? What I get from what he said, is what a lot of people are saying nowadays; that they are gods and worship yourself because you are god.
That's where many people are going wrong in this world, the created being worshipping itself instead of worshipping and glorifying the one who created them.
@@labyrinthoflies4438 and abandoned them or put them through trials they did not deserve.
That is exactly why we need one another.
You really did not understand what Matthew said. Not one bit.
This man is absolutely incredible at telling his story. Im blown away...its like reading a fantastic book (altho so sad about his son).
My son passed away 4 yrs ago and I lost all faith when our prayers for him to recover went unanswered. I still struggle with my anger at god for letting my son be killed. Losing a child is a heartbreak that never heals.
As a non religious person I could never understand how people can have an unrelenting faith in god when kids are dying or suffering. Thank you for sharing x
My heart breaks for you ❤ Like you I struggled with my anger towards my Christian concept of god. It’s only when I realized that concept of god did not exist, did I find peace. I hope you find your way to heal, to be free. Hugs
No
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We live in a fallen world where Satan is in charge. You can't blame God for your sons death🩵🙏
What stood out to me the most was that even though Jotham was going through so much, he had so much love in his heart...so much faith... that his last communication was a prayer. He believed. I am inspired by his heart. And God did heal him. Not in the way that we all want. But, He gave him everlasting life with no sorrow, no pain, no disappointment. Matthew, you and your beautiful family will be with Jotham again one day. And what a beautiful day that will be.
Amen!
Amen and hallelujah I can't wait for the day that I'm back with my little girl who didn't get to come into the world her name was Sarah Sarah Ruth
Amen 🙏
Amen. 💕🙏🙏🙏
Mark, wow this was an amazing interview. I could sit and listen to this man all day every day he has a eloquent way of telling a story. Heartbreaking and felt his pain but glad to hear he stood in his faith. Much love and many blessings to Matthew , his family and all who are here
Ol Doctor D is Matthew’s TH-cam channel
"May we all have broken hearts, that we may provide shelter for one another" Thank you Matthew
"The world that we have given them is fractured". That's the perfect description of the world we have created and given our children.
That’s the most amazing story you’ve recorded yet. What a remarkable man. His description of grief, especially the loss of a child, is like non I have ever heard.
Stories like these make the world better. bring faith back to humanity from humanity.
This man is so incredibly inspirational. Last July I lost my mom. The grief I’ve suffered is immense. To suffer grief is to love unconditional love. That is what I’ve been told. I have struggled so much in the last year. So many times during this interview I wished I could have hugged him.
I don't believe that he lost the magic. He realized that love is the magic, and that his heart is big enough to comfort others.
Amen. God is love ❤
So beautiful ❤
I wish more men would tap into there emotional side as this beautiful soul has done. 🙏🏽
I'm not trying to be confrontational at all, and I wish men could. Every time I have been emotional or vulnerable with a woman I was in a relationship with, they have thrown it back in my face any arguments that happened. After it happening three times since my younger days, I've learned to keep it internalized.
@@gdash4187 the reason "men don't cry" was passed on generation to generation is because it actually harms our reproductive capacity (it is unattractive to women)
You say that but you don’t actually mean it, that’s not what you NEED, it’s a goofy modern WANT
@@gdash4187that unfortunate.
Until the emotional side grows to become uncontrollable. Being overly emotional is a burden.
Wow the end was so so powerful… it’s said many times on this channel - but this was truly one of the strongest videos yet. What a special human being…
My heart hurts for this man. I feel his pain because I too lost my son and my faith was cracked at its foundation.
I wish I didn't understand, but I do.
Jotham was incredibly lucky to have you as his father . He is still with you because the soul never dies . Thank you for sharing your story of utter heartbreak and bravery . Sending love and light to your family 💕🌸.
I resonate so deeply with this eloquent man’s story. All the levels. The belief in the “magic”. The desperation of soul to end the suffering of your innocent child and the breaking open of your heart that others might find shelter there. Brother, I hope I meet you one day. In the crucible of affliction comes life’s grandest epiphanies. My son passed at age 9 after nothing could be found to save him from the seizures that stole him from us.
I lost my oldest son in 2010 so i know this pain. I pretend every day to move forward and being ok. This is what those who don't know this pain expect. The hardest part of my life today... Being a phony. not my true self as they know nothing about. I can't hardly wait to run from this life but just for today i will pretend one more day. Thank God for my 2nd son who is the only one here that knows this rarely spoken pain losing his only brother.
I took a class from Matt Draper at UVU and it was honestly my favorite (and hardest) class from my entire undergrad degree. I never knew this part of his story. Jotham sounds like he was an amazing person. I hope you guys will get to be together again. Thank you for the light and compassion that you bring into this world. We need more people like you, Matt.
Thank you, Matthew, for baring your soul here, and for showing us-all The Way forward-especially those of us who have lost a child.
This comes at a particularly-important time, as it was three years, last week (July 13), that we lost our son, Jordan, in a swimming accident.
In the time since, I thought it was impossible to articulate the “11” level of pain, and didn’t even have a label to put on it, but now, I do. THANK YOU!
Hundreds of thousands, or more, will hear your testimony, and will now be able to understand.
Much love to you and your family, sir.
An absolute incredible interview that sent me into an emotional spiral! What a great speaker with a philosophy born of pain, perception, faith and growth. Very impressed!
My wife and I lost our first son Oliver during the pregnancy, we went on to lose 6 more over the course of 5 years total. When the pastor of our family church came over to comfort us it was very kind but my faith was long gone.
We went to church at some point after the loss. It felt as if everyone was staring at us. Thankfully we had eachother and discovered an excellent grief councillor.
We're also blessed to have finally had a healthy and happy boy!
Thank you for sharing your story, may your Son rest in peace and free from pain.
Congratulations 🎉🎈🎊
Intense grief brings a time warp. Suffer 1000 deaths. Congratulate yourself--you made it. And still together 💕 blessings
Matthew Draper delivers one of the most profound, and moving elegies for his son Jotham, and I am inspired by his words to reflect deeply on his message of compassion.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful man and his
Heartbreaking story.
This man is a true gem and genuinely one of the most beautifully spoken people I’ve ever had the pleasure of listening to. ❤
I lost my 15 year old Son in 2021 and Matt describes child loss SO perfectly. Learning to breathe underwater. 💔💔
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I'm so sorry for your loss. That really is an incredible metaphore.
My dear 😢
Could be because I’m PMSing… but I’m only 8 mins through Matthew’s story here and I’m already in tears.
The love for Tolkien and GOOD in this world… and I can almost hear his Father’s voice saying, “there are jobs for people like you, and they’re called psychologists.”
Thank you Matthew.
I have found recently that is my calling as well. Unfortunately I never had a father-figure tell me that. I’m discovering it on my own later in life.
Thank you for your uplifting spirit and share.
Thanks for reminding me of my love for Tolkien as well, and a less “broken” version of myself: the nerd at 14 that re-read The Lord of the Rings 4 times, each time making the last page more wet and mascara-stained with my tears.
Bless
@@Tricia-mi1pv you think he’s a “bulshit artist” and fabricated this story?
Words cannot adequately express my gratitude for your talk Matthew. I cried for your son Jotham and my father, whose death broke the magic in my world. Thank you for your time and ability to put this pain in words.
Wow.
I’m saving this video to share and to listen to over and over again. I have no words to express how this interview made me feel.
@truesavings1988 Same❤
Dear Matthew I do not know if you will ever see this message but I would really like to express my sorrow for your loss and would like to express my gratitude for sharing such an intimate experience in your life in such a heartfelt, candid and incredibly eloquent and articulate way. I was so moved by your words and just sobbed with you final statement " May we all have broken hearts that we may provide shelter for one another " That phrase touched something very deep within me. I wish you and your family much love and healing across the miles.
Beautiful.
Powerful testimony Thankyou for explaining God so perfectly. My heart was also broken and I now have a spring of compassion and love. Thankyou sir you moved me to tears. You have the gift of a healer ❤
I wish life was fair and your son would be able to live. I’m sorry for your loss. I’m struggling so much with my situation that your words have a great impact to help me try to understand it. Thank you for sharing. I hope to hear more from you.
Mark, each time I’ve think I’ve seen the best interview on the channel you put out something that tops it. Thank you for letting Matthew share his story and his pain.
I agree❤❤❤
Wow, this is one of my favorite videos. This gentleman is in so much pain over the passing of his son. 5 min into the video I was captivated with his story. Will be praying for your family.
This is such a profound account of an experience no parent should ever have to endure. I don't want to thank you for sharing, but I want to acknowledge I see you, and your love for your gifts in life.
I think this might be the most important interview you’ve done, especially in light of a body of work that shines a light on the depth of human suffering. May we with broken hearts be a shelter for others.
Theres nothing stronger than a fathers love for his son 🙏
@@deanjohnson3660 or a Mother’s beg to differ ♥️
Facts
An amazing job at telling a heartwrenching story of loss. I pray for your grief. God bless you sir.
On a rainy and dull saturday morning, I find this episode of Mark's.
So hugely profound, emotion and thought provoking beyond imagining.
We say it sometimes too often or with superficial intent, but here I go, thank you Matthew, for sharing this part of your experience with the world in such an eloquent and enthralling way.
I had a good friend lose her 16 year son in the last few weeks. I've been struggling to find the words to comfort her. But I reach out each day. Her faith has carried her the last few weeks. Yesterday in our daily connection . I felt this feeling come over for me. I felt like she was feeling inside that she couldn't cry or grive.. because of her faith. She keeps saying as long as I devote my entire life to God I will be reunited. It's keeping her going and for that I'm so thankful but I couldn't help but think she needed to break down and cry. To feel her loss but her faith won't allow her. God bless this man. Thank you so much for this share mark. I needed this so much.
You're a great friend! A lot of people feel uncomfortable with grief. They don't want to be reminded of their own mortality I think😢
Even if you can't find the words she appreciate it when you call❤❤❤❤
16-17 minutes in and I’m already bawling. I could listen to this man read the most dry toast book on the planet. People like this man, restore my faith in humanity.
All I can say is Damn! This man took me on his journey and I felt every single step of it. I actually feel changed in a way.
I HAVE SHARED THIS EVERYWHERE> YOU HAVE REACHED THE PINNACLE OF WHAT CAN BE DONE ON SOFT WHITE UNDERBELLY. LOVE and PAIN ..made me think this: "Humans are emotional creatures " Grateful for Mathew Draper and this channel.
Another amazing story of pain and suffering and love,,,,,, we need more people like this,, beautiful people inside and out,,, hopefully his pain is less severe today
"When you hold to the faith in kindness and love, your heart will be cracked so wide that others can walk in and find shelter there" This statement was extremely profound to me. Sending love to all the broken hearts caused by grief of a loved one❤️❤️❤️
Usually I cannot sit through a video without my attention wondering off, I sat through this whole video hypnotized. Such a great storyteller!❤️ when you are ready let me help you up we will walk together❤️🥲
This man is an astounding storyteller. It must have been really wonderful for you to have been able to relax and just let his spirit flow so beautifully and profoundly. Thank you for finding this man and giving him such a perfect forum to share his truth.
My 3-1/2 yr old boy passed away on 1-18-23 and everyday has been difficult since then to make since of my life , I feel your pain…
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Lost my parents to cancer as a teenager and watched my siblings and I fight to cope.... This video resonated deeply with me and my experience of love and faith. Thank you for this moving video.
Hands-down the best thing I have ever seen on this channel.
Agree. I have been engaged by many of them. Nothing like this though.
The beauty of this channel is that we get to hear stories from people who would have otherwise remained nameless.
Many times I truly believe God has forgotten me and my oldest son. But then something reminds me HE is with me. The Lord is with this man and his family. I pray you’re suffering lessens and never stop speaking of your beautiful boy 🙏🏽❤️
This was exquisitely beautiful and profound. Thank you for sharing it this way.
Wow how wonderfully profound and inspiring even from all your pain and heartbreak. I can’t fathom hearing those words after losing your wonderful boy. Thank you so much for sharing yours and your family’s story in such a truly beautiful way.
What a profound statement from a father about broken hearts… this man IS grace. ❤ he is wonderful.
Yup. He definitely needs to be a regular. He’s even left Mark speechless. So darn good. He needs his own wing on SWU. Much luv to all
Thank you for sharing your families story, seeing how painful it was I’m sure you are helping a lot of ppl in their grief!! You are a wonderful storyteller just as your father….the last line is one I will think about for years to come “when you are ready let me help you up, we will walk together!” Truly amazing….💙💙
This is one of your best interviews. This man is amazing. I could listen to him for hours. Amazing speaker and the way he describes his grief is gut wrenching. I am so sorry for your loss and Thank you for sharing your story.
Wow what an incredible story…shared in such a compelling way.
He has the gift of story telling ❤ what a powerful story he has to tell. Thank you Mark and Matthew
What an amazing father. Your son must be so proud. Never let words of others stone your soul.
This is one of my favorite soft white underbelly interviews. Thank you for taking the time to share your story and also thank you Mark!
That man should have NEVER said you didn’t have enough faith. I am so sorry this happened to your son and your family. Thank you for sharing your story
I had to pause it at the part where someone in his congregation told him his faith just wasn’t strong enough. I was already in tears before that, but the audible gasp I let out surprised even me. My son is autistic, and parents of autistic kids spend a lot of time coping with the fact that the ideal situation would be to outlive our children. But not by this much, and most definitely not this way. I pictured my son when he was speaking about his, and I am so heartbroken for this man. My son has been written off many times by doctors and professionals, for much smaller things of course, but it seems to be a trend amongst autistic individuals that they will be written off.
If that ain't proof theys demonic beings amongst us, ill eat your hat.
Beware of revealing your grief at "church," you will be abused. My experience, reality, "normal."
Being highly empathic is a gift for everyone around you and a curse for yourself. That's my feeling. This was the best interview I have ever seen. I hear you man, much love.
This touched my soul. I have too lost faith in the magic. I lost my mom a few months ago despite everything I tried to do to keep her here. I feel responsible because the doctors missed a lot of things. I can definitely relate to everything you’re saying and I appreciate you being so real, vulnerable, and honest. Some people won’t get this, and for that I am grateful because I wouldn’t wish this type of pain on anyone. I have learned there is purpose in the pain I’ve been through, and that is so that I can better relate to others going through the same thing and be there for them in any way I can. Thank you sir for your words of wisdom. 💜💜💜
This was so very heavy. What a wonderful story teller. When he said his dad was a wonderful story teller I thought to myself that his dad passed that wonderful trait down to him. I can only imagine being one of his children listening to his stories & insight. Captivated the entire time with his big presence & profound love of language. All while holding space and sharing his warmth, heartbreak & kindness! You sir have made me stop today to take a deep breath & look around to be grateful for all that I love. Thank you for being here & sharing your magic 🫶🏼
Matthew, thank you so very much for sharing your story. You are an amazing speaker, you had me hanging on your every word. I am so sorry for all the heartache in your life, I have lost 2 children, I feel your pain. I'd like you to know that, for me, your words gave me some strength. You are an amazing human. And Mark, thank you very much for doing what you do best..... just letting people tell their story. Thank you
Wow. He is such a good storyteller. The words he use, his tone, his voice, his authenticity... I have ADHD so I really have to try to focus when I watch these interviews but he's so captivating, he actually distracted me from my phone.
I wish my father loved me this much❤❤❤❤❤❤
Matthew's story is heart breaking and beautiful at the same time. I've never heard grief described like this and his words are so impactful.