This helped me a lot. Everything you mentioned gave me so much clarity. When you embrace your life it’s bizarre how much love and empathy flows out of you. We all have flaws.
i'm so sorry. i know it's tough to deal with shame. here is a series on our site on shame: www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/infidelity-recovery-understanding-the-paralysis-of-shame thanks for watching and posting. im glad you're here.
You just described my husband and most of his anger if not all he takes it out on me in for of emotional and psychological abuse. He embraces anger and shame as they were his best friends. Thanks for this great video
very welcome.. did you read the shame series yet? it's here just in case: www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/infidelity-recovery-understanding-the-paralysis-of-shame
My husband has built a self imposed prison of shame, embarrassment and remorse...he doesnt want anyone to be kind to him or show their love for him...excluding me...ALL of my family was angry, forgave him and want to show love and caring and he is not accepting it...he takes total blame for everything but it doesn't feel like its counteracting his shame prison...how can I help him?
Going to send this to my unfaitful husband. He gets into what I guess you would call a "shame spiral" where he feels like I SHOULD rage at him or punish him and then he turns to drinking which just makes it worse because then he feels guilty for drinking too much as well (he's got a drinking problem which contributed to his affairs a bit). It's heartbreaking for me to witness because I'm doing everything I can to let him know that even though I'm hurting...that I choose to stay with him and work on this TOGETHER...But when he starts this self hatred party it makes me feel so bad for showing my emotions to him or leaning on him for support. Almost like I'm having to heal myself while also holding him up. I'm not angry about it....just so incredibly sad.
Thank you all so much at Affair Recovery you save me every single day. I’m struggling with my mornings. I might go to bed ok and I might not even dream but when I wake up I start flooding and asking a bunch of what if questions. I almost throw myself into a panic attack. Do you have a video that covers this? I feel I’ve asked a bunch of questions and he’s answered, so now that I’m out of questions I ask the same ones a different way or I start going down the road of, “imagine you would still be doing this if I didn’t catch you.” “Imagine if I didn’t see the phone bill” “there must be more I just know it just tell me” I’m going to group, individual and couples counseling so I’m sure I’ll get better but in days like today how do I get through?
I have no idea, I stuggle with the same things. Mornings are always the worst. I wake up in a frantic, anxious, and emotional panic. In the morning my shame is overwhelming. Nothing is what I thought it was. I am literally blind to all of the good in my life, all I can see is ALL of my broken dreams and the torture of the abuse I suffered in childbirth. Because I was raped and abused as a child using porn and my husband ended up being a porn addict on top of the fact that I was raped by my brother in law the summer I turned 13 and my husband cheated with my sister. So yeah every single morning of every single day the nightmare that is my life becomes real again. The only peace that exists is in unconsciousness.
This helped me a lot. Everything you mentioned gave me so much clarity. When you embrace your life it’s bizarre how much love and empathy flows out of you. We all have flaws.
The comments about hopeless isolation made me feel like you were speaking directly to me. The shame has been my biggest barrier to moving forward.
i'm so sorry. i know it's tough to deal with shame. here is a series on our site on shame: www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/infidelity-recovery-understanding-the-paralysis-of-shame thanks for watching and posting. im glad you're here.
This is it. This is the video that, when i first watched it a few weeks ago, helped me move past my shame. Thank you so much for your words, Sam!!
I needed to hear this today. I woke up wanting to avoid the shame and loneliness and found this to help reinforce that decision.
You just described my husband and most of his anger if not all he takes it out on me in for of emotional and psychological abuse. He embraces anger and shame as they were his best friends. Thanks for this great video
very welcome.. did you read the shame series yet? it's here just in case: www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/infidelity-recovery-understanding-the-paralysis-of-shame
My husband has built a self imposed prison of shame, embarrassment and remorse...he doesnt want anyone to be kind to him or show their love for him...excluding me...ALL of my family was angry, forgave him and want to show love and caring and he is not accepting it...he takes total blame for everything but it doesn't feel like its counteracting his shame prison...how can I help him?
Tbh I wish I could embrace the anger and shame. At least anger would be better than just the shame of it all.
Going to send this to my unfaitful husband. He gets into what I guess you would call a "shame spiral" where he feels like I SHOULD rage at him or punish him and then he turns to drinking which just makes it worse because then he feels guilty for drinking too much as well (he's got a drinking problem which contributed to his affairs a bit). It's heartbreaking for me to witness because I'm doing everything I can to let him know that even though I'm hurting...that I choose to stay with him and work on this TOGETHER...But when he starts this self hatred party it makes me feel so bad for showing my emotions to him or leaning on him for support. Almost like I'm having to heal myself while also holding him up. I'm not angry about it....just so incredibly sad.
Thank you all so much at Affair Recovery you save me every single day. I’m struggling with my mornings. I might go to bed ok and I might not even dream but when I wake up I start flooding and asking a bunch of what if questions. I almost throw myself into a panic attack. Do you have a video that covers this? I feel I’ve asked a bunch of questions and he’s answered, so now that I’m out of questions I ask the same ones a different way or I start going down the road of, “imagine you would still be doing this if I didn’t catch you.” “Imagine if I didn’t see the phone bill” “there must be more I just know it just tell me” I’m going to group, individual and couples counseling so I’m sure I’ll get better but in days like today how do I get through?
I have no idea, I stuggle with the same things. Mornings are always the worst. I wake up in a frantic, anxious, and emotional panic. In the morning my shame is overwhelming. Nothing is what I thought it was. I am literally blind to all of the good in my life, all I can see is ALL of my broken dreams and the torture of the abuse I suffered in childbirth. Because I was raped and abused as a child using porn and my husband ended up being a porn addict on top of the fact that I was raped by my brother in law the summer I turned 13 and my husband cheated with my sister. So yeah every single morning of every single day the nightmare that is my life becomes real again. The only peace that exists is in unconsciousness.
If people was ashamed of cheating they wouldn't be doing it so don't do that