I thank you for this topic. My wayward stays in his shame that keeps him from working his steps. I point out to him when he starts down that rabbit hole. It has helped him a bit to stay sober, but not to get off of it enough to work his steps and healing.
Hi Sam, We are somewhat new to the affair recovery process. I keep thinking that if my spouse is feeling shame that he will definitely not do this sort of thing again. but from what you're saying it is counter intuitive. I will definitely pass this video along to him!! Thank you for all you do.
Samuel.. are you still doing Videos? I truly haven't seen you lately. But,, this topic is Right On. My husband has gone through incredible pain for 3 years now. He is not depressed and lashes out. He is not affecting his Health and says he wants to die. I feel I can't do anymore for him, he hasn't done any work to help himself. I have shared his videos to him, but I feel there should be more about this topic. Both of us Have been affected by his own Shame and Guilt.
Yes SHAME =BLAME=STUCK IN YOUR PAIN!!! CYCLE! RIGHT ON Samuel Unforgiveness brings torment! Keeps you chained to the pain! 🎯 Stuck in toxic shame. 😢 JesUS took your SHAME, give Him your pain. You are worth it, He died to set you free!! Repent and surrender the strongholds and lies. His Grace is Amazing! 🛐✝️
We are walking this now. I just asked him to watch Rick's story again there are so many parallels. We are stuck. He wants to put it in a closet and nail the door shut and never bring it up again. I cannot, and when it comes up he gets angry (he never was angry before) We are coming up on 4 years and he has not moved forward we are just existing. No he doesn't follow through on help. He feels like a failure and doing nothing to improve other than going to work and coming home to a rent house. (Because we lost everything). He says he loves me and sorry but is always on the defense when I speak about anything. I can't talk to him and have no one. I read, watch the videos (we did the weekend) and study and both of us are thankful for Jesus. One thing he says all the time is "Our whole life was not bad nothing was wrong with it, stop thinking it wasn't real. We loved each other." Then why??? It is not the same but he sure wishes it was.
Is something wrong if the betrayed doesn’t see any shame from the unfaithful. Is it possible the unfaithful just simply puts it behind them not thinking about it again?
they may try Julie, but it's not possible. sometimes shame shows itself different ways. it's typically there, but perhaps not tapped in to or discussed. is the unfaithful in your situation open to getting help?
My anger toward something is complex. Has anyone ever gotten so _tired_ of someone they see constantly? I feel we see my mom's sister more than my two other aunts (marital), and I think I'm annoyed because...they're my favorites over the maternal aunt. I get to see the aunt I'm most annoyed with (secretly) than the aunts I enjoy, and I guess I feel that's not fair. It's her, her, her, her, her. Sisters can be SO annoying, especially as moms (with their sisterly comparisons). Besides, I think I resent their relationship a bit because I'm a brother with only sisters, and I feel brothers are less important than sisters? You know, brothers are for brothers and sisters are for sisters? This is a partial reference to our not seeing my mom's brothers as much, so it's sisters before misters. Like I said, it's complex. Is it possible I'm feeling is actually normal, so I'm not being an irrational bigot toward my one and only blood aunt (without her knowledge)?
I thank you for this topic. My wayward stays in his shame that keeps him from working his steps. I point out to him when he starts down that rabbit hole. It has helped him a bit to stay sober, but not to get off of it enough to work his steps and healing.
So glad I can help. Is he open to doing more work? We have a variety of ways we can help if he's open to it?
He finished sex addiction 101 and is now in 102. If you have other ideas please help.
He finished sex addiction 101 and is now in 102. If you have other ideas please help.
Great video. My class starts Tuesday night. I cannot wait to get started. Thank you for all the help along the way Samuel.
so glad I could help. the course will be awesome!
Hi Sam, We are somewhat new to the affair recovery process. I keep thinking that if my spouse is feeling shame that he will definitely not do this sort of thing again. but from what you're saying it is counter intuitive. I will definitely pass this video along to him!! Thank you for all you do.
Samuel.. are you still doing Videos? I truly haven't seen you lately.
But,, this topic is Right On. My husband has gone through incredible pain for 3 years now. He is not depressed and lashes out. He is not affecting his Health and says he wants to die. I feel I can't do anymore for him, he hasn't done any work to help himself. I have shared his videos to him, but I feel there should be more about this topic.
Both of us Have been affected by his own Shame and Guilt.
He is Depressed. (TYPO)
HE IS VERY DEPRESSED
Yes SHAME =BLAME=STUCK IN YOUR PAIN!!! CYCLE! RIGHT ON Samuel
Unforgiveness brings torment! Keeps you chained to the pain! 🎯
Stuck in toxic shame. 😢 JesUS took your SHAME, give Him your pain. You are worth it, He died to set you free!! Repent and surrender the strongholds and lies. His Grace is Amazing! 🛐✝️
Thank you Samuel been watching since 4 yrs ago , Thank you for this message needed to hear….
that's awesome. thanks so much for watching. so glad the message helped my friend.
Favorite video so far. Thank you all again.
Great content and keep up the great work!
Is there a way I can send you a private question? I desperately need to talk to someone…
We are walking this now. I just asked him to watch Rick's story again there are so many parallels.
We are stuck. He wants to put it in a closet and nail the door shut and never bring it up again. I cannot, and when it comes up he gets angry (he never was angry before) We are coming up on 4 years and he has not moved forward we are just existing. No he doesn't follow through on help. He feels like a failure and doing nothing to improve other than going to work and coming home to a rent house. (Because we lost everything). He says he loves me and sorry but is always on the defense when I speak about anything. I can't talk to him and have no one. I read, watch the videos (we did the weekend) and study and both of us are thankful for Jesus. One thing he says all the time is "Our whole life was not bad nothing was wrong with it, stop thinking it wasn't real. We loved each other." Then why???
It is not the same but he sure wishes it was.
Thank you for your videos! I do have a question! So is it possible for the emotional affair partner to be a sibling?
I would appreciate seeing a video which explains in detail what the terms 'healthy' 'unhealthy' and 'sober' mean.
Is something wrong if the betrayed doesn’t see any shame from the unfaithful. Is it possible the unfaithful just simply puts it behind them not thinking about it again?
they may try Julie, but it's not possible. sometimes shame shows itself different ways. it's typically there, but perhaps not tapped in to or discussed. is the unfaithful in your situation open to getting help?
How do you get into group work?
My anger toward something is complex. Has anyone ever gotten so _tired_ of someone they see constantly? I feel we see my mom's sister more than my two other aunts (marital), and I think I'm annoyed because...they're my favorites over the maternal aunt. I get to see the aunt I'm most annoyed with (secretly) than the aunts I enjoy, and I guess I feel that's not fair. It's her, her, her, her, her. Sisters can be SO annoying, especially as moms (with their sisterly comparisons). Besides, I think I resent their relationship a bit because I'm a brother with only sisters, and I feel brothers are less important than sisters? You know, brothers are for brothers and sisters are for sisters? This is a partial reference to our not seeing my mom's brothers as much, so it's sisters before misters. Like I said, it's complex. Is it possible I'm feeling is actually normal, so I'm not being an irrational bigot toward my one and only blood aunt (without her knowledge)?
❣