How To Listen More and Talk Less

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ต.ค. 2024
  • For just one day, try this challenge. Listen more and talk less. Listen to understand. Listen to learn. Listen to empathize. Listen to validate. Listen to connect.
    Don’t worry. You won’t become invisible, powerless or less impactful. In fact, you’ll become more visible. You’ll stand out as someone who cares about what others think, in a world where, generally, people are busy pushing their agenda, selling their ideas or jockeying for position.
    Keeping our mouths shut is hard. So, try these three techniques to listen actively.
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ความคิดเห็น • 153

  • @laulaushouse
    @laulaushouse 3 ปีที่แล้ว +105

    1) mirror the speakers message, paraphrase what you’ve heard
    2) empathy with the speakers emotion, use phrases like “oh I’m so sad about that” “that’s so cool”
    3) confirm that you understand what they mean through their eyes, appreciate what they’re saying and try to show it

    • @yukierblx
      @yukierblx ปีที่แล้ว

      Screenshot

  • @piandao6804
    @piandao6804 4 ปีที่แล้ว +165

    I need to do this. No one likes "me" persay. So I'm trying to learn how to stop talking and being annoying. I'm trying to adopt the "don't speak unless spoken to" saying.

    • @ruyaakbas1618
      @ruyaakbas1618 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Pian Dao same here. I think everyone sees me as the annoying loud one, but I’m not just that

    • @AsadKhan-xh2rz
      @AsadKhan-xh2rz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Same here

    • @The_G_Edits
      @The_G_Edits 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      How you doing?

    • @samanthaj7840
      @samanthaj7840 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yup.

    • @michaelbrawls1410
      @michaelbrawls1410 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Exactly.No body likes me and always makes fun of me because I'm a talkative

  • @chilip7386
    @chilip7386 6 ปีที่แล้ว +413

    I have ADHD so I want to learn how to talk less and listen more.

    • @janetanael5563
      @janetanael5563 6 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      Me too, that's why i'm searching for a natural way of curing it. May be i should also try the yoga😂

    • @chilip7386
      @chilip7386 6 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Jane Tanael Yeah haha. I’ve heard meditation does things for ADHD but I haven’t tried it myself.

    • @CornbreadJenkins34
      @CornbreadJenkins34 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@chilip7386 in the words of a wise man Do-it

    • @beastorjett6084
      @beastorjett6084 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      I'm ADHD AS WELL AND I CAN'T EVER Shut up and I always shake it sucks

    • @afterburned06
      @afterburned06 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@beastorjett6084 Eat healthy, sleep well, and exercise. Make lists and reminders to ease stress and anxiety. This should help you focus better. When you struggle to focus and stay on task you talk more to cope with the anxiety it causes. Technically ADHD and ADD are symptoms of other issues and not a standalone diagnosis even though they treat it as such to push the stimulant market instead of rooting out the less profitable core issue. Causes can be as simple as bad sleep or bad vision and as extreme as undiagnosed bipolar disorder.

  • @manopinket8553
    @manopinket8553 3 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    I keep talking about myself only to later realize that I was probably being annoying

    • @perryh.5306
      @perryh.5306 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I love when ladies talk about themselves more than anything else!

  • @DiamondCrushIvory
    @DiamondCrushIvory 4 ปีที่แล้ว +94

    Im going to try this for a day, one day at a time. Im the worst person ever to talk to because im an ineffective communicator who has nervous energy and I don't like when there is ANY silence. I started trying to be an effective communicator 20 yrs ago and haven't mastered too many days of being quiet. One day I'll get it, thanks for the video, just one of these days I'll get it.

    • @teressamooregriffin186
      @teressamooregriffin186  4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      What matters is that you keep trying. Good for you!

    • @MrPumpkin8ter
      @MrPumpkin8ter 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      you are not alone.

    • @gracegrace3205
      @gracegrace3205 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Exactly, its like you read my thoughts, especially "nervous chatter and hating silence" i know im annoyng because no calls me and avoids my calls except one friend. She is more anxious than i am and it's the only time i'm actually silent during a conversation because she never takes a breath.lol Im 62 been doing all my life so its a very hard habit/flaw to break.

    • @DiamondCrushIvory
      @DiamondCrushIvory ปีที่แล้ว

      @@gracegrace3205 😂😂😂Right, I’m with you. I have started 2023 with more determination of trying to listen effectively by channeling that nervous energy. I am grounding my feet on the ground for 10-30 mins a day, burning white Sage, using my Singing Bowls, and meditating more and it’s starting to work. I’m learning that SILENCE is good🤗🤗🤗so I’ll keep trying and so will you, yes? We can do it!!!

    • @CarlosSantana-we6ts
      @CarlosSantana-we6ts ปีที่แล้ว

      Diamond- crush ivory You have 2 ears and 1 mouth so listen twice as much as you speak..

  • @Ubon_abasi02
    @Ubon_abasi02 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I was once told that I am hyperactive and I wasn’t too cool with that cos I was becoming predictable. Gladly, there’s a change now.

  • @create4changeempowerers778
    @create4changeempowerers778 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Listen more.. learn to love being silent, let go of the urge by talking to your own self !! .. no one understands u better than yourself and it’s a great reflection.. easier said than done , however practising daily, this video gives a great technique, thanks

  • @jasudarai8999
    @jasudarai8999 4 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    I can't shut and keep listening i wanna change it

  • @perryh.5306
    @perryh.5306 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I already do this with my Mom and little sister. I listen to what they say and tell me to do....and in their presence, I only talk when spoken to!

  • @nazikiwe8259
    @nazikiwe8259 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Thank you for these tips. I will try them. I really want to be a better listener and shut up sometimes, so that I can stop feeling stupid afterwards and i can LEARN more.

  • @petermitchell9699
    @petermitchell9699 6 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Thank you. Now I have the tools to be a better listener and how to talk less.

  • @sunmoonstar124
    @sunmoonstar124 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I'm listening to this video today because I realised today that I'm too serious with people and I always try to push my agenda on to other people's advice

  • @IcecreamCat23
    @IcecreamCat23 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I get excited and love to talk, so I really want to learn how to listen more to my friends

  • @KandyKidraver15
    @KandyKidraver15 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    A helpful tips is to listen to the last sentence someone said and ask them a follow-up question.
    When possible ask a question with the word How.
    Examples:
    How did your meeting go?
    How did you learn how to do that?
    How did that make you feel?
    How long do you have before your next class?

  • @Dan5819
    @Dan5819 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Boy do I need this! I found my mind wandering to my own thoughts instead of LISTENING to what she was saying -- which was the reason I was playing the video in the first place. PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE. I'll have to work on this quite a bit.

  • @rachealbesong6992
    @rachealbesong6992 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    All the points in this lesson are very important. The most important point to me is paraphrasing what you understood, as this helps to clarify and or correct any misunderstanding. This reminds me of taking a telephone order from a doctor, you always read back the order to make sure it is correct.

  • @JANETKELLIOTT
    @JANETKELLIOTT ปีที่แล้ว

    This a goal I will have for myself, I am definitely more of a talker, than a listener. After watching this video, I realize I interrupt people to get my point across. I will strive to do better with listening.

  • @annettedeas9092
    @annettedeas9092 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Something I can definitely use at work and with family.

  • @SergioMolan
    @SergioMolan ปีที่แล้ว

    Very classy and intelligent lady. Thank you for sharing!

  • @dflow7630
    @dflow7630 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Every word in this video was so clear and concise. Grateful for the time that was put into making something so informative and helpful 😇

  • @Marie-reine
    @Marie-reine 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Guys she’s only got 540 subs??? What’s going on??? If we enjoy her content, which seems like a lot of us are benefitting from, we should at least show her some support!

    • @Marie-reine
      @Marie-reine 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well it’s growing 😆✌🏾

  • @MinnieFerguson-gd6nz
    @MinnieFerguson-gd6nz ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Love this! I am going to start practicing right away.

  • @bethannsmith4969
    @bethannsmith4969 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Listening to validate stood out to me. That is really key to letting others know they have been heard. Thanks for a well done video.

  • @JamesT777
    @JamesT777 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you! I need to start today...now..

  • @schawnettarobinson8584
    @schawnettarobinson8584 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I will definitely practice all three sequentially.

  • @bahir66377
    @bahir66377 ปีที่แล้ว

    - paraphrase what they said
    - empathise with their feelings "I can see that you're upset, you sound happy, you sound scared, seems like you're disappointed"
    - given the info that you just shared with me, I can tell why you feel that way.

  • @GwenLeavens
    @GwenLeavens ปีที่แล้ว

    I know when I am not paying attention to what I am doing I tend to cut people off to get MY point across.
    So I am trying to slow down and really listen to what is being communicated to me. Through this I have learned a couple of things about myself. One, if I wait for the other person to finish there isn't as much conflict and two I am a very visual person. If you bring a problem to me verbally I will listen however if I can actually see what the problem is I can usually figure out what needs to be fixed and how to fix it. As far as my clients go empathizing their frustration and telling them that they are right(if they are) and letting them vent before I speak allows the client to calm down and feel heard. Then we can work together to resolve the issue.
    Good Video.

  • @ralfwashington1502
    @ralfwashington1502 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Careful with these tips. For me it bugs me because it feels like talking to a shrink.
    "Oh wow I can see that this hurt you and makes you mad" "oh really that's cool so tell me more...."
    It feels so prescripted and makes it sound not genuine. However I have used it on others and they lite up and happily continue.
    Some people it works on others will tick them off.

  • @nombulelomdoda9438
    @nombulelomdoda9438 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you so much this is very helpful i came here because i know that i talk a lot and so i want to practice to listen more and talk less 🤗🤗🤗

  • @soulyogaelena6786
    @soulyogaelena6786 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Love it 😀 thank you for putting it out there

  • @TamiRabold
    @TamiRabold 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great reminder in the world of fast paced healthcare.

  • @mark78750
    @mark78750 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thanks for this encouragement... I need to listen better

  • @tski007
    @tski007 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Very true. I read books on Client Center therapy, and it emphasized Active listening Reflections and validating others. I find it immensely powerful in this day of age, where people attention span is smaller then a gold fish

  • @BeanBag_shorts
    @BeanBag_shorts ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I love this

  • @aichirosina8440
    @aichirosina8440 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I want you to know you've inspired me ...
    Thank you

    • @teressamooregriffin186
      @teressamooregriffin186  4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you for letting me know. I so appreciate the feedback, and the knowledge that my work helps others.

  • @realcorkdan
    @realcorkdan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    brilliant advice and so simple 👍👍

  • @lionesss06
    @lionesss06 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I really need this change of behaviour as I tend to let out too many things 🙄
    Anyone who has further links about this topic can please share with me or any experience that I can learn from?

  • @Ravenwoods
    @Ravenwoods ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for the reminder

  • @theshark84724
    @theshark84724 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    The more of anything, the less it’s worth. There are exceptions, but generally it’s true. The more words you say, the less important they are. Why don’t parents teach that to children?

  • @ThePeterDislikeShow
    @ThePeterDislikeShow 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I'm watching because I'm trying to prepare for the awkward moment after I return to work when my coworkers bring up opinions about COVID19 and the 2020 elections, which I have very minority opinions that I want to avoid leaking out.

  • @bigkj2.027
    @bigkj2.027 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I feel like I needa do this alot more

  • @mosesengel2239
    @mosesengel2239 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Boy she's pretty!!

  • @jamiecee4960
    @jamiecee4960 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    My mother asked me what I was drinking yesterday...😆😆 Obviously, I can talk to much..🤭🤫🙄They say an Empath can talk a lot and interrupt. Seems I do both..😔Will try this.

  • @returnoftheluddites
    @returnoftheluddites ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Knowing you are ENOUGH AS YOU ARE will help you reach this goal, observe more and just know the above….

  • @tahir1156
    @tahir1156 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Beautiful

  • @raek8940
    @raek8940 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you! I got a lot from your take on listening.

  • @AkwaIbomDoll
    @AkwaIbomDoll 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    needed this!

  • @murphsviews
    @murphsviews 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Well said and good advice, thanks. 👌

  • @Marie-reine
    @Marie-reine 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for this, I believe your advice will help me.

  • @chrispham4347
    @chrispham4347 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Damnit I got distracted during the video and have to rewatch it

  • @Andrew-mn4ow
    @Andrew-mn4ow 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    i talk too much i want to change.thank for your teaching.👍

  • @gavinbhattacharya9457
    @gavinbhattacharya9457 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks Teresa

  • @Angell_Lee
    @Angell_Lee 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you so much!

  • @TiberiusStorm
    @TiberiusStorm 6 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    I want to do this but if I don't say a certain amount of words in a day, I literally start to feel angry. Not sure why?!

    • @kurokami8400
      @kurokami8400 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Shaine MacDonald I feel you I become angry also

    • @DiamondCrushIvory
      @DiamondCrushIvory 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Tip Jar🎯🎯🎯🎯I become depressed and fidgety.

    • @mizzvxn
      @mizzvxn 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      It's because you have a deep need to be heard and understood. Explore other ways of meeting those needs other than verbal communication.

    • @tomratliff3349
      @tomratliff3349 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@mizzvxn such as? That's why I am here.

    • @mizzvxn
      @mizzvxn 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Tom Ratliff - I can relate. Expression was not a luxury as a child so I find myself fighting to express myself but honestly noone gives two fucks. So my outlet is writing and creating a podcast.

  • @georgi1690
    @georgi1690 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I cant do this without people coming at me like, why are you suddenly being so quiet? Or, whats with the mood change? Or even, are you trying to be more quiet so people will like you? Im afraid of what people will think of me

  • @topfoxbox4379
    @topfoxbox4379 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you

  • @daniii8920
    @daniii8920 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    thank you for this!

  • @longshotny
    @longshotny 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank U sis💪🏿

  • @rosiesbitsandbobs4085
    @rosiesbitsandbobs4085 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you!

  • @AyeshaKhan-so9yi
    @AyeshaKhan-so9yi 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Whine less ,breathe more. talk less,say more.hate less,love more.and all good things will be yours

  • @jenniferdigbori7914
    @jenniferdigbori7914 ปีที่แล้ว

    I hv not been diagnosed but I know I hv ADHD coz all the symptoms dey matches with my struggle.. but no one understands it and they think I'm saying things but they don't know how I'm struggling every day of my life 😥😥 I used to be calm but growing up the symptoms became obvious now I find it hard to control my mouth from speaking it's like it has a mind of its own 😒💔😥

  • @tahir1156
    @tahir1156 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Lovely 🌹 msg

  • @pepper1188
    @pepper1188 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Every geriatric person needs to remember this!

  • @laurakeller3365
    @laurakeller3365 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Taking the challenge of being aware of becoming more of an active listener. Let the other person speak and seek out understanding of not only what they are saying but also what is not being said in words. Emotions are there, just have to pay attention.

  • @schawnettarobinson8584
    @schawnettarobinson8584 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks beautiful..

  • @godrhmf307
    @godrhmf307 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    personally i’m a very quiet person, i just want to learn to listen more

  • @paulopaulo3774
    @paulopaulo3774 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    •paraphrase
    •validate
    •empathize

  • @taniadenise5145
    @taniadenise5145 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are a beautiful woman inside & out!

  • @annerotich7234
    @annerotich7234 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    God I can talk non stop, atimes I have to pinch myself to remind myself that I need to stop! I tend to be hyper I tend to seek attention where unnecessary, it's really frustrating 😞

  • @neesee520
    @neesee520 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Oh man I'm going to need some masking tape. :) Just kidding.

  • @mahiboksh7688
    @mahiboksh7688 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    In the whole video she was talking non stop and i was silent

  • @shanzakhan3377
    @shanzakhan3377 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    i want to be better listener i talk alot to my self and its hard to focus on what other say

  • @heehee975
    @heehee975 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thankyouu

  • @afufu-b5k
    @afufu-b5k 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Music was kinda distracting hehe

  • @samusande6461
    @samusande6461 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

  • @tuyikundechantal1073
    @tuyikundechantal1073 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I though i was too talkative and i was always regretting what i said and why did i talk after meeting people....but for sure talking too much is annoying my husband talks too much he never listen he want to speak only without listen like the one who is making a speach and he made me being so quiet because i see how it is not nice i m always controlling my self and i hope i will be totally quiet

  • @samuelyorpor1018
    @samuelyorpor1018 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Me am talking paradox & I need
    I mistickly say my precious SECRET unknownely

  • @quantumx9924
    @quantumx9924 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    This chick looks like some sort of pirate woman with a golden doubloon on her chest helping me improve myself.

  • @sahelbarekzay11
    @sahelbarekzay11 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Plz add subtitle idk english too much

  • @baatein_kuch_unkahi_si
    @baatein_kuch_unkahi_si 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

  • @aurora7224
    @aurora7224 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I talk less i can never think of anything to talk about i am in secondary shcool at the moment and I don't have many friends

    • @shanika2188
      @shanika2188 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm experiencing this same problems omggg

  • @DarthUmbreon
    @DarthUmbreon 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Whenever I’m with a girl I can’t help but talk all about myself 💀. Don’t be me lol

  • @therego.pj_
    @therego.pj_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    the secret is to become a capricorn guys😉

    • @dmiaadln
      @dmiaadln 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      im a cap but i kept talking abt myself. even my bsf point it out

  • @captainthunderjrjdharra4364
    @captainthunderjrjdharra4364 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    What she said

  • @Samara077
    @Samara077 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    So that means I’m gonna have to lie half the time Lool. Cause a lot of the time I don’t understand where my generation are coming from

  • @yukierblx
    @yukierblx ปีที่แล้ว

    Whatever I say, sometimes it offended ppl 😅 yeah.. sorry my friends.

  • @TJB-zt9tx
    @TJB-zt9tx 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    How? Stay as far away from Demonrats as possible. You're welcone.😉

  • @silentguy5772
    @silentguy5772 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    .......

  • @LizaS191
    @LizaS191 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    N.

  • @bstr-ey6wl
    @bstr-ey6wl 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    you are beautiful .

  • @MewtRandell-
    @MewtRandell- ปีที่แล้ว

    thank you

  • @LizaS191
    @LizaS191 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    N.

  • @LizaS191
    @LizaS191 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    N.

  • @LizaS191
    @LizaS191 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    N.