It started from childhood. All adults around us demanding us to behave in ways that pleased them and did not make them feel upset. We felt responsible for their feelings and tip toed our way around ....and it followed us into adult until we eventually....hopefully... get to the point when we say 'I REALLY DON'T CARE..'
Very true. I feel sad that so many can't have insight like that. It's taking me so much time! - I'm almost 70, but I'm starting to "get it". It's been a tough life, but by the time I pass on, I will be free.
@@victoriajarvis2260 yea, if we can help others learn this from as young as possible, life would be so much easier for them...however we are never too old or young to learn/realise..if we can find ways to show this point of view to others not by the thousands and thousands but just everyday people you come across your doing the world a great service!
@@FunchieBaby THIS IS NOT ABOUT EGO, IT IS ABOUT HAVING UNCONDITIONAL SELF LOVE......PLACING NO ONE ABOVE YOU......FOR NO ONE IS ABOVE YOU.....UNLESS THEY ARE PLACED THERE BY THE INDIVIDUAL....
I think it's very important to truly get to know yourself first.I would not want to force myself to be a talkative person if in my essence I'm not. My goal would rather be to feel comfortable as an introvert then chasing the extrovert persona that does not comes naturally to me. Figuring out your true self is not as easy as it seems, but it's essential.
So true, once , the only reason I spoke was for attention from a male .... But it made me be an actor. If I didn't like him I would if been an introvert then. I'm an extrovert naturally though when a man loves me so much without me seeking attention lol
So much fun! If what other people think of us are made-up in our own head anyway, why don't we make something up that uplifting and motivates us to become a better version of ourselves.
Aw hope you got rid of it now. It really sucks especially when you try to find your identity in teemage years. Its never late though. Love ya take care💙
It really made me feel better to turn the question of 'what does this person think of me?' to 'what would be the consequence of this person not liking me?' and then dismantle any hypothetical answer that arises from that.
I'm 23 and I'm struggling to go out and live my life because of this. I feel by my presence I make people uncomfortable. 😪 I'm also terrible or scared of showing my emotions around people. This is ruining my life.
Questions To Ask Actively On Your Own 1) What do I think of them? 2) What do they think of me? 3) What do I think of the situation? 4) What do they think of the situation? My takeaways from this video: Your brain will always search for an answer so you have to feed it the answer you want. When you think of what other people think of you, you start to act differently based on their opinions. You don't see the problems caring what other people think of you creates in your life. It slows down your progress.
it's an interesting way of quieting the mind and it does help to refocus your inner efforts on being more confident and freeing up your mind for other things
It took me 43 years to realize this. I now see the mistakes I've made, and why I haven't been as successful in life as I thought I would be. It's for this very reason. I'm hoping that I can push past this. I guess being aware of it is the first step...
I hope you're faring well on your journey since making this post. I'm also 43, and also just now arriving at this information, and seeing how my past has been dictated by this concept of validation. Mind blowing... yet, we press on, right?
2 minutes in I had the thought that you brought up in the end. I am super critical of people as well as myself. I know I have a habit of "projecting" (adjusting my behaviors based on what I think someone else thinks). It is a very bad habit, especially in relationships where you can just ask what they think instead of leaving it to your imagination to"fill in the answers" (which is usually not the true answer). But for me that extends to strangers as well...(i.e. people I can't just ask). I have hobbies and things I want to do in public that I cannot do because of fear of what complete strangers might think of me even though there is absolutely no basis to my thoughts, nor should I give a crap what strangers think.
Thank you for this. I'm a youtuber and I've become consumed with what my viewers think of me and my content. I believe , for me, this stems from having a very critically sarcastic, self centered, judgmental parent that says whatever, whenever, and however without any regard to the impact. I'm a grown woman and it's still a big part of me.
Wow, I'm so glad this was helpful for you!! It takes time for sure, but overcoming the fear of what others think of you is sooo powerful. Pretty life changing. Keep on keeping on!!!
Just found you this morning and so glad I did! My life has been destroyed in so many ways because of being CONSUMED by exactly what you're talking about. Have read so many self help books, watched videos, etc to find the answer. Your solution is simple but makes so much sense. THANK YOU!!
We are all the staring cast member in our own minds and the rest of the world are supporting cast members. The reality is, your not as important as you think you are and no one else is as concerned about you as you may think.
Thank you so much for this video. I took notes all the way through the video and now I am putting it into action. I can’t tell you how much better I’m feeling already. What a relief this is for me.
I have watched countless hours of self help videos and this Video was by far the most helpful to me. Easily explained and gave me a lightbulb moment. Thankyou!!
Great video!! That has basically been my whole life. I am also an introvert, grew up very shy. I have always been too concerned with what others think of me and have ruminated about it way too much analyzing every word and look. It makes one basically self-apologetic and self-effacing, but feeling resentful about it. It makes one feel at the bottom of the social ladder, poor self-esteem and little assertion, and rather angry about it. So it does also make one more negative, critical, and resentful of others. I think having high expectations and being perfectionist is often part of it, thinking that about others and believing they think that way about you too. That leads to being disappointed, critical, negative, and resentful. Also the fear of failing, criticism, rejection.
Wow this is such a great perspective on this problem! I never thought about it as an unanswered question but it makes a lot of sense. We search for closure in a lot of areas of life: broken relationships, past traumas, ways of thinking, careers. But we don’t often get it. Or, we don’t accept the answer we are given because it doesn’t provide any relief. It makes sense that we need to answer the question for ourselves to gain that closure and move forward, instead of remaining stagnant and waiting for the answer to find us. Thank you. 🙏🏼
Ive watched many videos on this topic. This video way and above 'hits the nail on the head' and the help we need ion worrying about ourselves and what others think of us! Thankyou!! :D
Simple and direct as this video was..and some may never know just how severe this can be.. but I feel this video is THE place to start for me . This issue has spiderwebbed into so many other thingsalso. . Where I was getting at .. I feel this is going to change my life. Thank you 🙏
I find his word so powerful and helpful whenever I start to feel negative in my head I just open his video and makes me not to worry about what others think of me
This is definitely one of the best videos I've watched. From someone who overthinks a lot I've never looked at it from this perspective. So thank you so much for this impactful video ❤️
Hey I really want to thank you for making this video! I’ve suffered for years and still do! However you are giving me so much hope! I’m 43 now; I hope I can let these negative habits of being so critical about myself and over analyzing others cause I’m afraid of what they think of men
During my childhood my mom is what got me into thinking this way. She lived life in a way to please others and would ask me what would they think if I did a certain thing
My friend is dealing with this s*** right now. She swears the neighbors are talking about everybody. I keep telling her who the f*** cares with these assholes think. They have no power over our lives unless you give it to them.
I must say i never give my opinion on videos. But you went right to the point. Thanks for explaining this in a so easy way. I think i am blocking myself most of the time. Your recommendations are practical and concise. Thanks for this.
Thank you so much. yes just happening me, i do not know from where it started but it happened to me. but i really going to use this technique calming down my mind.
This is truly awesome! I love the part about making up your own mind game and seek yourself as who you want to be! As an INFJ I constantly over analyze everything and it causes a lot of anxiety and keeps me from reaching my goals!
Looking for more ways to improve your life? Get my FREE guide. How to Rebuild Lost Trust In a Relationship: 3ke.to/Trust
It started from childhood. All adults around us demanding us to behave in ways that pleased them and did not make them feel upset. We felt responsible for their feelings and tip toed our way around ....and it followed us into adult until we eventually....hopefully... get to the point when we say 'I REALLY DON'T CARE..'
Very true. I feel sad that so many can't have insight like that. It's taking me so much time! - I'm almost 70, but I'm starting to "get it". It's been a tough life, but by the time I pass on, I will be free.
@@victoriajarvis2260 yea, if we can help others learn this from as young as possible, life would be so much easier for them...however we are never too old or young to learn/realise..if we can find ways to show this point of view to others not by the thousands and thousands but just everyday people you come across your doing the world a great service!
@@victoriajarvis2260 qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq
Yessssssss!!!!!! Sooooo trueeee
Well I'm never going to get to that point.
I definitely over analyze people too much and I’m very hard on myself 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ I’m starting to change that 🎯
Same.
Tbh I think age really plays a part of why we care so much of others think of us
How ?
@@abrahampalmer8761 yeah in highschool
Same 😢
RULE #1....PLACE NO ONE.....ABOVE YOU
I love that
How do you balance that with humility and religious beliefs
@@FunchieBaby NO RELIGION
@@FunchieBaby THIS IS NOT ABOUT EGO, IT IS ABOUT HAVING UNCONDITIONAL SELF LOVE......PLACING NO ONE ABOVE YOU......FOR NO ONE IS ABOVE YOU.....UNLESS THEY ARE PLACED THERE BY THE INDIVIDUAL....
Rule #2 do not become a narcissist. Lol
I finally got the way to get rid of what others think about me. 4.02 exactly as a teenager I suffered alot and I m not studied well due to wotam.
I think it's very important to truly get to know yourself first.I would not want to force myself to be a talkative person if in my essence I'm not. My goal would rather be to feel comfortable as an introvert then chasing the extrovert persona that does not comes naturally to me. Figuring out your true self is not as easy as it seems, but it's essential.
Im having massive trouble figuring that all out
So true, once , the only reason I spoke was for attention from a male .... But it made me be an actor.
If I didn't like him I would if been an introvert then.
I'm an extrovert naturally though when a man loves me so much without me seeking attention lol
This comment was at the second top, so it must be vital , it's what I also thought
Chasing, yeh, it's pretty much a rat race, attention seeking etc lok
and that's why most social media is poison
Some of it, not all
So much fun! If what other people think of us are made-up in our own head anyway, why don't we make something up that uplifting and motivates us to become a better version of ourselves.
Would you really believe it? I honestly have trouble believing things I know I made up...
I have *never* heard anyone put it this way. Thank you.
it great
@@helenbostock2350 it awesome
Yes,my thoughts exactly....thank you for enlightening me on this problem that has been hanging in my head for the past 50 years.....
Yes perfect
"Play a better mind game" Yeah, because why not! :) I love that.
It really makes a difference - let us know the changes you notice!
Me too
I always cared what people thought about me. I'm 50. And it does effect you. Was worse for me when I was a Teenager...
Aw hope you got rid of it now. It really sucks especially when you try to find your identity in teemage years. Its never late though. Love ya take care💙
.e too. I'm 57 and I am still trying to figure it out 😊 work in progress 😊
This made my day... you had me laughing, crying, smiling, and relieved. Thank you.
His voice wen he laugh😂
I want to cry. This puts it so clear.
It really made me feel better to turn the question of 'what does this person think of me?' to 'what would be the consequence of this person not liking me?' and then dismantle any hypothetical answer that arises from that.
I'm 23 and I'm struggling to go out and live my life because of this. I feel by my presence I make people uncomfortable. 😪 I'm also terrible or scared of showing my emotions around people. This is ruining my life.
You might like Abraham Hicks
Questions To Ask Actively On Your Own
1) What do I think of them?
2) What do they think of me?
3) What do I think of the situation?
4) What do they think of the situation?
My takeaways from this video: Your brain will always search for an answer so you have to feed it the answer you want. When you think of what other people think of you, you start to act differently based on their opinions. You don't see the problems caring what other people think of you creates in your life. It slows down your progress.
y
Z😅
think more like "i don't need to care about what these people think in five seconds cuz they can't be no Einstein, Tesla or Tyson"
it's an interesting way of quieting the mind and it does help to refocus your inner efforts on being more confident and freeing up your mind for other things
Not just feeding it the answer but also believing on it!
It took me 43 years to realize this. I now see the mistakes I've made, and why I haven't been as successful in life as I thought I would be.
It's for this very reason.
I'm hoping that I can push past this.
I guess being aware of it is the first step...
I hope you're faring well on your journey since making this post. I'm also 43, and also just now arriving at this information, and seeing how my past has been dictated by this concept of validation. Mind blowing... yet, we press on, right?
Hi I’m 18, can you share how it hurt you?
Never to late
me too. 42 years
@@safekicker Im 40 yo and just today realized i have this issue my entire life and thought it was normal!
Basically being cocky when thinking of what people think about you and you will be more confident because you will believe in yourself more 🙌
2 minutes in I had the thought that you brought up in the end. I am super critical of people as well as myself. I know I have a habit of "projecting" (adjusting my behaviors based on what I think someone else thinks). It is a very bad habit, especially in relationships where you can just ask what they think instead of leaving it to your imagination to"fill in the answers" (which is usually not the true answer). But for me that extends to strangers as well...(i.e. people I can't just ask). I have hobbies and things I want to do in public that I cannot do because of fear of what complete strangers might think of me even though there is absolutely no basis to my thoughts, nor should I give a crap what strangers think.
This is the reason why I am so unproductive at times. Thank you for this.
I really needed this, thank you. I have been stuck in my head for years and I am praying I get better
Same
I quit worrying about that last week! Rejection is divine protection!
Rejection is protection, I love that!!
Thank you for this. I'm a youtuber and I've become consumed with what my viewers think of me and my content. I believe , for me, this stems from having a very critically sarcastic, self centered, judgmental parent that says whatever, whenever, and however without any regard to the impact. I'm a grown woman and it's still a big part of me.
Wow, I'm so glad this was helpful for you!! It takes time for sure, but overcoming the fear of what others think of you is sooo powerful. Pretty life changing. Keep on keeping on!!!
One of the most brilliant concepts I have listened to
Keep smiling and making these videos because you’re amazing for smiling while you talk about the issues you do
Just found you this morning and so glad I did! My life has been destroyed in so many ways because of being CONSUMED by exactly what you're talking about. Have read so many self help books, watched videos, etc to find the answer. Your solution is simple but makes so much sense. THANK YOU!!
Ahhh, feeling so relaxed now.
Obviously those people are thinking how wise I am and they wish if they could be anywhere close as to my level 😉.
We are all the staring cast member in our own minds and the rest of the world are supporting cast members. The reality is, your not as important as you think you are and no one else is as concerned about you as you may think.
Thank you so much for this video. I took notes all the way through the video and now I am putting it into action. I can’t tell you how much better I’m feeling already. What a relief this is for me.
Seriously so glad to hear that! :)
Love this!! Make up positive thoughts about yourself.
Exactly Michelle!
And then they'll manifest even if they're not 100% accurate
I have watched countless hours of self help videos and this Video was by far the most helpful to me. Easily explained and gave me a lightbulb moment. Thankyou!!
You are a very charismatic and warmhearted person. And I love your message.
Great video!! That has basically been my whole life. I am also an introvert, grew up very shy. I have always been too concerned with what others think of me and have ruminated about it way too much analyzing every word and look. It makes one basically self-apologetic and self-effacing, but feeling resentful about it. It makes one feel at the bottom of the social ladder, poor self-esteem and little assertion, and rather angry about it. So it does also make one more negative, critical, and resentful of others.
I think having high expectations and being perfectionist is often part of it, thinking that about others and believing they think that way about you too. That leads to being disappointed, critical, negative, and resentful. Also the fear of failing, criticism, rejection.
Wow this is such a great perspective on this problem! I never thought about it as an unanswered question but it makes a lot of sense. We search for closure in a lot of areas of life: broken relationships, past traumas, ways of thinking, careers. But we don’t often get it. Or, we don’t accept the answer we are given because it doesn’t provide any relief. It makes sense that we need to answer the question for ourselves to gain that closure and move forward, instead of remaining stagnant and waiting for the answer to find us. Thank you. 🙏🏼
I'm in broken friendships camp because of dumb things I did.
It makes sense Micaela. Doesnt it?
Yes well put and It’s not just a thought that matters ,but the power we give them!!
peace🙂
May the Lord bless the creator of this video and the viewers. Thanks alot I feel better 🔥😎😊
Ive watched many videos on this topic. This video way and above 'hits the nail on the head' and the help we need ion worrying about ourselves and what others think of us!
Thankyou!! :D
Simple and direct as this video was..and some may never know just how severe this can be.. but I feel this video is THE place to start for me . This issue has spiderwebbed into so many other thingsalso. . Where I was getting at .. I feel this is going to change my life. Thank you 🙏
I find his word so powerful and helpful whenever I start to feel negative in my head I just open his video and makes me not to worry about what others think of me
This is definitely one of the best videos I've watched. From someone who overthinks a lot I've never looked at it from this perspective. So thank you so much for this impactful video ❤️
Wow, thanks Adarsh! :) Glad it was helpful for you!
Hey I really want to thank you for making this video! I’ve suffered for years and still do! However you are giving me so much hope! I’m 43 now; I hope I can let these negative habits of being so critical about myself and over analyzing others cause I’m afraid of what they think of men
Thank you this is what I needed, I'll be watching this a few more times so it sinks in
I love this! You did such a great job explaining!!!!!
This is so true. I need to fix this immediately and teach my kids how to as well.
Good plan Wendy! Good job.
did you succeed?
so true. I am always looking for approval from people.
@@gailland8681 did you succeed ? I am extremely struggling with seeking approval atm would love to know your tips
I never thought of it this way. This is the video I needed to watch. Thank you.
Finally i got a term to explain my mental condition
Love your take on things👌👏👏my answers are great now👌
Wow this was so helpful! I struggle to say no to people and I’m a real ‘people pleaser’ so this is great! I think your fabulous thanks
Thank you. The most striking, concise and helpful explanation for this behaviour and the most effective solution to end it.
Thank you man
During my childhood my mom is what got me into thinking this way. She lived life in a way to please others and would ask me what would they think if I did a certain thing
So very true. Very well presented. Thank you!
I am 24 years old and didn't know how much I needed this information until today
YAYYYY! Yes! You’re all so handsome and beautiful and the Force is with ALL OF US!!!
Thankyou sir, you give me so much hope as I am also an introvert
Omg this makes so much sense. Thank you!
I’ve enjoyed your videos for years. I am always happy and excited to come back and refresh my mind by re-watching your videos! 😊❤📚
Loved it! Did I mention I love it😊 helped me so much😊
OMG YOU ARE RIGHT ON...I HAVE BEEN CRITICAL AND I SO GET EVERYTHING NOW THANKYOU THANKYOU!!!
This is amazingly helpful.
THANKS SO MUCH!!!!!!
This made me cry. Thank you for helping me heal ❤️
really, realy inspirring (btw: does anyone mind my typos? Of course not, they love them!)
But seriously i didn't notice it till you pointed it out lol
I can confirm that I do love them
This problem is destroyimg me because I have made so many mistakes in my past.
True empathy exactly works that way. It is impossible to take care of a baby correctly if one doesn't have that ability.
I needed this on this Sunday morning
My friend is dealing with this s*** right now. She swears the neighbors are talking about everybody. I keep telling her who the f*** cares with these assholes think. They have no power over our lives unless you give it to them.
I must say i never give my opinion on videos. But you went right to the point. Thanks for explaining this in a so easy way. I think i am blocking myself most of the time. Your recommendations are practical and concise. Thanks for this.
you are really highly sensitive and Empathy person, that's why you made this video.. 💐💐💐😌😌😌😌😌😌🌷🌷🌷🌷
I heard so many similar topics but nobody can explain this issue like the way you do, thank you
Thanks really nice presentation😊
I been dealing with this my whole life things are starting to Change this last couple weeks training my self to not give a duck
Wow, thanks, said and placed in such a great way to look at things like this and best for you as an individual to apply it to your everyday life
Thank you so much. yes just happening me, i do not know from where it started but it happened to me. but i really going to use this technique calming down my mind.
So happy to of come across this channel!! Thanks 3 KEY👍
What I have been through today made me realise this and this has just put a stamp on it. Thank you👍🏻
Needed this today!! Thank you!!
GREAT VIDEO I WILL TRY THIS RIGHT AWAY. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
EXCELLENT! -Thank you sir concise- uplifting- humorous - straight to the point. Makes the world a better place.
Dudes brilliant
Your videos always make me feel so understood! I can't wait to let go of measuring people and see how much energy it frees up!
I'm so glad to hear that! You've got this 👍
Thanks very much for this video
This is truly awesome! I love the part about making up your own mind game and seek yourself as who you want to be! As an INFJ I constantly over analyze everything and it causes a lot of anxiety and keeps me from reaching my goals!
I was driving crazy and this video was super helful to me
Impressive, totally enjoyed this one. You got a new subscriber!
Excellent. I should try this.
Second page particularly got me with the right words. Thanks 🙏
i love this session u really helped a lot
Thank you brother
This man has the answers
You put the ball back into my court. Okay create my own realities via what I choose to focus on.
Thank you!!!! Awesome, awesome video.
This helped me so much today thank you. I can finally put an end to all this madness my own mind created for the past 5 years
amazing. best advice on this problem i have ever learned
What works for me is I drink a couple of shots of whisky and then I don't care what people think. Liquid courage.
But can we rely on that all the time😂
This can help someone mental health thank you
Beautiful video sir 😊 Thank you
Spot on Sir..
Woww so true. I’m sooo critical of myself
Thank you for this!
I love the way he enjoys delivering the topic! Thank you. I needed this.
Thank you Kirk!!!