ไม่สามารถเล่นวิดีโอนี้
ขออภัยในความไม่สะดวก

What's The Worst Thing That Ever Happened To Your Butt?

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 มิ.ย. 2020
  • Fresh AskReddit Stories: What's the worst thing that ever happened to your butt? --- LIKE AND I WILL UPLOAD MORE REDDIT STORIES!
    ▶ Want to watch more amazing Reddit stories? Check out our playlist! • Uploads from UE Stories
    😀Check out our second channel for even more r/AskReddit videos! / @ontapstudios
    #Reddit #Updoot #AskReddit

ความคิดเห็น • 273

  • @ethanelliott1832
    @ethanelliott1832 4 ปีที่แล้ว +103

    Weirdest thing that happened to me- I bought a pack of gum, a big one, like, 45 pieces. I swallow my gum, and wiped out the pack I’m less than 12 hours. When I took a shit it felt minty.

    • @avrilraven5499
      @avrilraven5499 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Have you ever wanted your mouth to burn? I have a way to do that. I was a bored 16 year old girl with two packs of gum. One Big Red Cinnamon gum, and one Ice Breakers Ice Cube gum.. first i wanted to see how many pieces of mint gum I could put in my face before it hurt. I got to 12. Then I wanted to see what would happen when I mixed cinnamon and mint gum. Hypothosis- it would cancel each other out and just taste funny.
      Actuality- IT. BURNED. But it burned so good.

    • @melissacooper4282
      @melissacooper4282 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I feel the burn the next day after I've eaten anything with jalapeno peppers!

    • @yeemawheaver1387
      @yeemawheaver1387 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      When you passed gas did it blow a bubble

    • @EpicB
      @EpicB 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Probably no different as to how hot food eventually makes your ass burn too.

  • @hopedeloach5790
    @hopedeloach5790 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    When I was in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy, I went a solid 8 days without any poop. I waddled my pregnant self to the grocery store and bought some colace (stool softener). It was one of the few on the approved list from my OBGYN. I get back from the store and I guess walking around the store was enough of a laxative. I barely made it back home without pooping my pants. I made the mistake of taking the colace in the store parking lot. That poo is truly the worst thing to ever happen to my booty. Most painful thing I've ever experienced. 8 days worth of backed up poo

  • @mariemarie7829
    @mariemarie7829 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    first off, DON'T EVER EAT MORE THAN 2 OR 3 SUGARLESS CANDIES AT A TIME! that same thing happened to me while i was working. luckily, i made it home in time, but i really spent probably 5 or 6 hours on the toilet. the regret! but at least i know better.
    second, i've broken my tailbone before and the only thing i can say is that it is constant and unremitting pain from the time you fall on the floor until 6 weeks later when/if it heals right. the pain was nearly unbearable, and BMs will make you scream and cry.

    • @0_dearghealach_083
      @0_dearghealach_083 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Don't tell me- sugar-free Gummy Bears, eh?
      Those are evil.

  • @jaykneegarner2479
    @jaykneegarner2479 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Started with gall bladder removal, followed up with a complete halt of my intestines for a the majority of the day. I’m in pain, I’m dehydrated from being nauseated and for the most part out of it from the meds. My surgery was outpatient. By midnight I was in so much pain I was vomiting. Pretty much every drop of liquid I had managed to get down ended up coming back up. Ended up in the ER. Triage nurse takes my vitals and I’m taken back immediately. Severe dehydration! 3 bags of IV fluids later all hell broke loose! See the reason why I was so damn dehydrated was that every spare oz of fluid available had been diverted to my intestines. The excessive pain I was feeling was not the surgery site but rather the extreme stretching and swelling of my intestines. 4 AM and all hell broke loose. I was in a shared room, sitting on a portable commode with no TP! I was in too much pain to make it to the regular bathroom and when the dam broke there was no stopping. The smell was awful I apologized to my room mate. While asking if they could hit the call button as I needed help but couldn’t reach my call button. Pain subsided significantly after that. It was 3 days of frequent bathroom runs before it stopped. My ass is still sore and it’s been several months!
    Well at least I’m not having mind searing pain that comes with gallstones!

  • @grmpEqweer
    @grmpEqweer 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I ate this yummy glop at an Indian restaurant. It was good.
    About 30 minutes later I found out two things:
    1) the yummy glop had dairy in it.
    2) going vegan two years prior had cost me the ability to eat dairy products.
    Hellooooo toilet, think I'll have a seat...

    • @LiamNajor
      @LiamNajor 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Dairy is hard to digest for humans at large, let alone those who abstain. I'm sorry for your agony.

  • @h.stryker5519
    @h.stryker5519 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    My junior year of high school I experienced what I like to call "a storm of spider bites". From September to Christmas I was bit around 17 times (give or take) by the same type of spider (wolf spider I suspect) but not THE same spider (we bug bombed the house after the first bite and then I cleaned my room really well and I found the body of a decent sized wolfie in a box in my room). IDK why these spiders kept biting me, but the bites always seemed to happen through the night because I'd be fine when going to bed then wake up in the morning, have an itchy spot somewhere, scratch it, experience stinging pain, a welt would appear and I'd spend the next week or so going between letting it fester and trying to dig the pit of it out. I was bit on my knee, my stomach, fingers/hands, a boob, a leg, and the last two were on my buttcheek and in my buttcrack. Apart from the first and worst bite which had been on my left knee (you can still feel how deep it went if you rub your finger over my scar), I hadn't gone to the doctor for any of the bites and had managed to fish the cores of the bites out myself. But then the butt-bites attacked. All I'll say is that mothers are amazing people.
    What makes it suck all the more is that I didn't even get spider-powers out of this.

  • @skyeproductions5900
    @skyeproductions5900 4 ปีที่แล้ว +102

    I broke my butt once and had to go to the hospital. There I was warned no more crazy stunts or I could end up like a guy in an iron butt. So I was terrified of the outdoors and refused to go outside. My best friends Sandy and Patrick tried numerous things to get me to go outside, but I was perfectly content with my snail Gary and my two new friends Penny and Chip. I finally got up the courage and went outside when they were attacked by a sea bear.

    • @elijareddish6871
      @elijareddish6871 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      *They had us in the first half ngl*

    • @Hekeda
      @Hekeda 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Spooneobob

    • @hemlockolympic
      @hemlockolympic 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      it was a gorilla you uncultured swine. And don't forget about him riding off into the sunset.

    • @dianasoto7011
      @dianasoto7011 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Gorilla

    • @saminam2228
      @saminam2228 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I thought it was a gorilla

  • @yanisp.4892
    @yanisp.4892 4 ปีที่แล้ว +106

    These are getting worse and worse...

  • @speed65752
    @speed65752 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Once, when I was little, I didn't crap for 3 days (usually I have at least once a day).
    When the time came my parents started considering to bring to the hospital. It was so big that I cried for more than 15 minutes, trying to give birth.
    Rinse and repeat for 4/5 times before my bowels turned back to their usual routine.

  • @melkiorwiseman5234
    @melkiorwiseman5234 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    I can answer that question with a single word: Cancer.
    For those of you not satisfied with a single word as the answer, it was lower bowel cancer. Radiation therapy and two rounds of chemotherapy with a major operation in between them and I'm still alive years later, although for unrelated reasons I question whether or not it was worth the bother. Also, consider what it feels like to poop while you have what amounts to a severe sunburn where the sun never shines. Now multiply that by at least ten and you're starting to get the idea.
    Oh, and I effectively no longer have a butt, at least in the traditional sense.

    • @grmpEqweer
      @grmpEqweer 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Glad you're still here.

    • @stephaniebaker6001
      @stephaniebaker6001 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That must have absolutely SUCKED. I cannot imagine how painful that had to have been! I'm glad you survived and are okay now, but wow, I don't think any other answer could be worse. 😔

    • @melkiorwiseman5234
      @melkiorwiseman5234 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@stephaniebaker6001 Verily, thou art not cognisant of fifty percent of the facts pertaining thereunto.
      (At least I still have something resembling a sense of humour).
      (That was the long version of "you don't know the half of it")

    • @stephaniebaker6001
      @stephaniebaker6001 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@melkiorwiseman5234 This is true. I am very sorry that you suffered so and it was Hell. I'm glad that you're ok now; please take care and keep your butt safe! 😉🙂❤

    • @0_dearghealach_083
      @0_dearghealach_083 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Jesus Christmas- I'm so very sorry to hear that.

  • @zachcrawford5
    @zachcrawford5 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    When I was 10, I was camping and took a crap in the woods and ended up using poison ivy (or something like it) to clean up. Life sucked for about 10 days after that.

    • @fnafplayer6447
      @fnafplayer6447 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      You should have just used Flowey

  • @hogonalog406
    @hogonalog406 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    When I was a kid we instituted Friday as “Butt Kicking Night” after watching that one episode of Spongebob. It was a lot of fun as we would take opportunities to gently, and playfully bump each other’s booties with the sides of our feet. Well, of course, two of my brothers started getting way to intense with their swings and it all came to a head when one of then rammed his shoed foot right into my tailbone. Needless to say, it hurt to sit down for the next 6 months and Friday was demoted back to movie night.

  • @zoeplayz8674
    @zoeplayz8674 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I got stung on the butt by a wasp when I sat down on a bench at the swimming pool. I think I was about five or six at the time. I've hated wasps ever since.

  • @gabrielbruce1977
    @gabrielbruce1977 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Probably both of the gigantic abcesses. The first one, I was a toddler just starting to wear pull-ups, and a mosquito bit me on the bum... right where it could rub against the edge of my pull-up and get irritated. Within eight hours I could no longer waddle around so to the ER we went. Four grown-ass men holding me down and a load of sedatives later, the abcess that resulted from the bug bite was gone, and I remembered none of it. I later asked why we went to the hospital to get a popsicle because to my child brain, that seemed like a lot of work for a popsicle.
    Second one... I was nineteen, working as an usher at a local cinema. It started as an ingrown hair. I was unaware of it. It developed. It burst, twice, and I was too embarrassed/busy working to consult a doctor. The absolute monster of an abcess that resulted from neglecting it was so painful I could no longer stand in place to do my job. So a strange doctor I'd never met sliced my buttcheek open, drained it, and packed it. Then my parents decided this was a great time for a grocery run- while I had an open wound on my buttcheek. It started leaking, of course. So On top of having a doctor I've never met see me naked from the waist down and joke about it, I was now walking around a grocery store looking like I had shat myself. Still haven't forgiven my parents for that.

  • @PandaMom9230
    @PandaMom9230 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Every mom will tell you: the first poop after giving birth is terrifying!

  • @happyian1752
    @happyian1752 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Irritable bowel syndrome is the worst thing that has ever happened to my butt

  • @RealBradMiller
    @RealBradMiller 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    The stepdad standing on the old chair.... That one got me.

    • @gwendolynross1674
      @gwendolynross1674 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The chair decided it would have none of that 🤣🤣

  • @ameliamae9227
    @ameliamae9227 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    My husband had an abscess at the top of his buttcrack....he went to urgent care and they wouldnt drain it, next day he goes to the ER and they wouldnt drain it because it was too deep so 2 days later we finally went to a surgeons office and by then that sucker was HUGE and as soon as the dr made the incision a geyser exploded!!!! I got to record it and it was awesome but I nearly puked due to the smell!!!!!

    • @KaileyB616
      @KaileyB616 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      My ex-boyfriend had the same thing. It's called a polynidal (sp?) cyst.

    • @fnafplayer6447
      @fnafplayer6447 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Please tell me you still have the video

    • @KnakuanaRka
      @KnakuanaRka 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@KaileyB616Pilonidal cyst.

  • @raptorfae.6645
    @raptorfae.6645 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Appendicitis that became a septic abcess that almost killed me,I didn't know feaces came in so many colours and shapes.

  • @Kassiopeia1326
    @Kassiopeia1326 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    In 5th grade, my school had a program for outdoor school. All 5th graders and their teachers went up into the mountains and we stayed in cabins. Throughout the 3 days, we had been going hikes that way we were prepared for the upcoming super long hike. During one of these preparation hikes, I was walking just fine then I stepped on a round rock. The rock then dislodged from its dirt home, made me fall like I had slipped on a banana peel, and I fully landed on it with my tailbone taking all of the force. It luckily didn't break but it felt like it. I remember bursting out into tears in front of everyone. Outdoor school had more stories but they're a different can of worms.

  • @selkirkswift
    @selkirkswift 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Omg “your point needed the coins to pay the ferryman” Jesus Christ 😆

    • @raptorfae.6645
      @raptorfae.6645 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Why does it sound like they got a fisting by a surprisingly helpful sewer demon that lived in the hospital plumbing,one that had a surprisingly deep reach ?

  • @the_g4bbo137
    @the_g4bbo137 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Well I once was fighting with my sister (13 at the time) and at one point she started playing dead. So 11 year old me decided it was a good idea to wake her up by letting a giant drop of saliva in her open mouth. I did. I ran. But I wasn't fast enough and sure enough she slapped me so hard that I couldn't sit for a week.

  • @AspieGirlArianaHale
    @AspieGirlArianaHale 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    3:12 - “unfolding my fart-flaps” is the moment I lost it! 💀😂

  • @rwdplz1
    @rwdplz1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    ghost pepper chicken wings. Only thing worse than eating them is expelling them.

  • @gnarthdarkanen7464
    @gnarthdarkanen7464 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Okay, I'll play... I got 2...
    1 "Internally"... While I will cook with about any of them, the hottest pepper I've ever eaten "as is" was a Naga Jolakia... AND I thought it was Hell going down. WRONG!!! The next three days were probably the worst in my entire life, and three entire bottles of "Pepto Ultra" scarcely took the edge off.
    2 "Externally"... It was winter, and my half-brother's trailer had lost the porch to a tree in a win storm. He's older than me and has trouble enough getting around, so I'm gathering and loading tools in the back of the truck to go help him. On a trip with a sawz-all in a steel box in one hand and a bucket, caddied for tools and boxes of nails and screws, in the other my foot hit a slick spot... Suddenly, both feet were up in the air and I crashed down on my tailbone/coccix
    AND (of course) the sawz-all came crashing down on my face.
    The crack in my nose and split over my eyebrow were mere irritations... The shear agony that stole away my breath at nearly every step made stairs all but impossible, and let the entire universe laugh at my feeble efforts with or around ladders. It was as close to hell as I've ever been, and I felt mostly useless on top of it. ;o)

  • @jessiejeanne9717
    @jessiejeanne9717 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Pooping on a toilet is the wrong way to poop. I guess we're supposed to crouch, but since we aren't animals, sit down, put your feel up on a step STOOL(haha), and relax. Gravity will work for you and it's glorious...

  • @kendra7697
    @kendra7697 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Embarrassing to admit this, but once I had a very severe case of constipation. I strained myself by pushing so hard, that I tore something. Thankfully, the bleeding wasn't serious and only lasted a couple hours. Although, I felt really uncomfortable down there for the rest of the day. I know it's not as bad as some stories, but I have never had been that badly constipated before.

    • @Devin-eg8ms
      @Devin-eg8ms ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Gosh that sounds painful

  • @Hunter-vp3he
    @Hunter-vp3he 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    The euphemisms for pooping and butthole make me laugh so hard.

  • @andreamagyar7776
    @andreamagyar7776 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Low calorie ice cream.. because of the sweetener. Hemorrhoids guaranteed.

  • @carmenemeney1455
    @carmenemeney1455 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Mrsa a few times on my right butt cheek. Dated someone with an infection on his arm, and it spread to me through skin contact somehow.
    My favorite accidental rejection line to a guy at a bar; “I have a hemorrhoid the size of a quarter”, before waddling off.
    A couple inches off the mark, but my first Pap smear. I went in for itchiness and major swelling. It was so bad it looked like I grew little purple-red balls. What happened? I peed on poison oak.

  • @darklycan4583
    @darklycan4583 4 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    Not me but my dad
    It was like midnight and he used the restroom about two minutes later I hear screaming coming from the restroom I run over and open the door.
    There was a wasp in the toilet bowl when my dad sat on it he got stung in the ass 13 times

    • @alyeseroberts1292
      @alyeseroberts1292 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      THIRTEEN?!!?!

    • @darklycan4583
      @darklycan4583 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Alyese Roberts yes 13 that wasp was going for the kill

    • @darklycan4583
      @darklycan4583 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Akame Muro yeah pretty funny when ya think about it

    • @SasukeUchiha-tc9xx
      @SasukeUchiha-tc9xx 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      How does a dang wasp get in the toilet

    • @darklycan4583
      @darklycan4583 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      SasukeUchiha 2002 very good question it must have gotten in the house and was getting a drink of water when he sat down that's the only way I can think of

  • @LMA629
    @LMA629 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Lol at that guy going insane after only going 3 days without pooping. That's normal for me. I only go every 3 days, maybe every 2 days at most. Not constipated. That's how my body has always naturally been.

  • @tremorchristlester4688
    @tremorchristlester4688 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    As a kid I can't remember if I had problems with bowel movements or just scared to crap but it got bad and clogged up I had to go to the hospital and get the friendly little Enema up the waste hole and was relieved afterwards..

  • @phs125
    @phs125 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    For a bad sinus infection, I got probably the strongest antibiotic of all of them.
    Killed of all my gut bacteria,
    I didn't fart for a month.
    My poop smelled like the worst smell ever,
    And that smell lingers on.
    On my clothes, around the entire house etc.
    My parents forced me to poop 100m away from house, because they couldn't stand the smell of it inside the house...

    • @adelerodriguez2432
      @adelerodriguez2432 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Prebiotics probably would've helped you

    • @anthonykhan1676
      @anthonykhan1676 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      100 meters is insane

  • @grandmaashley
    @grandmaashley 4 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    Grandma approved

    • @diplyfishstink6884
      @diplyfishstink6884 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thanks grandma

    • @daratheresa
      @daratheresa 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Ay thanks grandma ashley

    • @intelligentchad5175
      @intelligentchad5175 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      wheres grandma hellen?

    • @eggsbenedictoes
      @eggsbenedictoes 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@intelligentchad5175 she said she couldn’t make it, she was going to deliver some pie to a friends house

  • @matthewlabbe8395
    @matthewlabbe8395 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Freshman year of college I fell going down the stairs of the English building. My rear end was bruised for weeks and it hurt to sit down.

  • @KF-hf4nt
    @KF-hf4nt 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The clawed hand description had me howling. I’d read a novel about this guys poops

  • @EpicB
    @EpicB 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    One time I somehow dislocated my tailbone or something like that. I don't really know what happened, but it stuck out in such a way that made it awkward to sit. Just as mysteriously, it eventually popped back into place shortly after.

  • @0_dearghealach_083
    @0_dearghealach_083 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You ever ate a whole bag of spicy Fiery Cheetos, drink milk and also drink coffee?
    I'm pretty sure I made napalm.

  • @rabbitunicorn9535
    @rabbitunicorn9535 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I fell butt-first into the dishwasher once. I was little and couldn't see what was on top of the fridge (I thought there was cake or something) and backed up to get a better look not knowing the dishwasher was open. It was empty but I fell right where the knives usually go. That could have ended very badly had it been full! My parents never left the dishwasher open again after that (I don't think they left it open if it was full anyway but they kept it closed regardless ever since).

  • @dawnclark4635
    @dawnclark4635 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I was walking downstairs and was texting when I missed the last two steps and came down straight on my butt. I was going to pick up dinner and I had to sit in the car,I cried in the restrurant bathroom,went home,my mom kept asking if she wanted me to look,and I kept telling her,"No." After a few days I went to the doctor. He told me I had a massive bruise on my butt and he says my tailbone healed incorrectly. To this day I still can't sit for long periods because it makes me uncomfortable.

  • @lorijohnson1478
    @lorijohnson1478 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Had a wart in the crease of my butt cheek. Kept getting irritated by underwear. So went in to have it frozen off. I was in the Army at the time. This big, male SSG was standing over me, while I'm on the table, ass in the wind, and I get the giggles. I was thinking if anyone saw this they'd have to laugh too. We both got to laughing. Finally got under control and done. Even better, later, my 10 year old daughter had to change my bandage twice a day, while I'm bent over the back of the sofa. Lots more giggles too.

  • @fnafplayer6447
    @fnafplayer6447 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    When I was like 15, once I slipped and fell next to my grandmothers pool... on my tailbone. Cue the next several months with a painful feeling in my but, it was the worst flying to Florida and back cause of the seats.

  • @sleepy_clover7361
    @sleepy_clover7361 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I can actually tell two stories for this question-
    Story one: Once when I was a little kid I was holding our family cat and he was squirming, so being a kid, I just dropped him and he landed on his feet and walked away. My stepsister (now ex-stepsister) saw this and decided to pick me up and drop me- straight onto the tile floor 'to see how the cat felt'. But see, I am not a cat. I did not land on my feet. I landed instead on my tailbone and it hurt for like, two months afterwards. Quite certain I must've broken it or something.
    Story two: One day when I was a teenager, I went to take a crap and it didn't come out so I decided 'no biggie, I'll try again later'. So a week goes by and we go out to dinner for my brother's birthday and I eat way too much food. During the car ride back, I was clenching my asscheeks together so hard because I could feel the turtle head trying to peep out. As soon as we got home I ran to the bathroom, and: nothing. I give up and go to bed. 10:30 hits and I'm sweating. I went and took the biggest shit of my life- I mean- y'all ever take a shit so big it tears your asshole and you start bleeding?
    Definitely the two worst things to happen to my ass.
    Also pinworms. 0/10 would not recommend.

    • @BBB-Schmuck
      @BBB-Schmuck 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Stop the anal sex.

  • @jamesbriggs5740
    @jamesbriggs5740 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I took the medication for a colonoscopy and went to bed. I felt like I had to poop. I pooped all the way through the house, finally getting to the bathroom. What a mess! Then I had to clean it all up.
    Kathy B.

  • @angiehernandez642
    @angiehernandez642 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I too, like putting tacos up my rectal cavity

  • @butthandles
    @butthandles 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    That photo of 3 tacos is very misleading

  • @claiomhsolais3812
    @claiomhsolais3812 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Well this one time I made mapo tofu, and I added a bunch of dried reaper chili to it.. Pain ensued.
    But a week and plenty of blood, sweat, and tears later I was back to normal

  • @rodneykingston6420
    @rodneykingston6420 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I got depressed and self-medicated with food, gained 90 lbs, then lost it. Once cute little bubble butt now looks lumpy and of shape and probably always will.

  • @stephaniebaker6001
    @stephaniebaker6001 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    About a week after having major surgery on my lower back for a ruptured disc (my 3rd back surgery, different ruptured disc 😖) I was attempting to walk down the stairs and lost my footing near the top and flew about half way down before landing on my ass. The injury was MASSIVE; a bruise the size of a softball where the hematoma formed and some swelling for good measure. I went to see my surgeon just in case and as I dropped my knickers, all he could do was laugh at my misfortune (yeah, he was kind of a jerk.) Right after this happened, adding insult to injury (literally) I ended up getting the stomach flu that my mom had caught from my 4 year old niece. Sitting on the can was VERY painful for 2 obvious reasons. My bum is still mad at me. 🤬

  • @terry3906
    @terry3906 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    2:00 concludes with some of the most powerful emotional imagery I've ever read.

  • @PinkAgaricus
    @PinkAgaricus 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The one about the trip from CAN to NYC, I wonder if it isn't really the food that caused it, but what was being used to "knock it down". If that person drank cola type soda then yea that would cause a lot of bleeding. Don't drink soda when you have protruding, painful, inflamed, and ready to burst hemorrhoids...that is going to cause some major hemorrhaging from your butt. (only when that thing is ready to blow) This is the one of those times I suggest drinking lots of water, lots and lots of water.
    Hmm, I think I just figured out why they are called that. Very interesting.
    Source: This happens to my mother when she drinks coke or pepsi. It follows sometimes after, even if the food is healthy food.

  • @Mintman83
    @Mintman83 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I had to have a highly attractive urgent care doctor check my prostate after having bloody poos. Very embarrassing.

  • @DragonMaster32200
    @DragonMaster32200 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This question is strange and I love it.

  • @rapunzelmane9592
    @rapunzelmane9592 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "....unfolding my fartflaps". 🤣

  • @PKSkeith
    @PKSkeith 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    16:58 Crêped your pants twice lol

  • @dreadnaughtswake
    @dreadnaughtswake 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    16:50 I had a similar experience, except it was sugar free chocolates.

    • @bluiz9648
      @bluiz9648 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'm a diabetic and have learned to stay away from that stuff..

    • @anthonykhan1676
      @anthonykhan1676 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Don't mess with the sugar free stuffs.

  • @nocount7517
    @nocount7517 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    8:27 Why would you do that!?
    I feel lucky the worst thing to happen to my butt so far was getting a giant splinter from turning on a wooden bench. Hurt like a bitch.

  • @user-ex9yq9vw2q
    @user-ex9yq9vw2q 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Well this is odd.

    • @amanimango
      @amanimango 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      oh hey again! lmao
      didnt expect you to watch the same stuff I did haha

    • @user-ex9yq9vw2q
      @user-ex9yq9vw2q 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      D1n0_0n1D
      Oh! Haha! Didn't know either

    • @amanimango
      @amanimango 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      but seriously the odds of going to a random video and seeing someone you replied to by accident is probably pretty low since ive never seen it happen before

    • @amanimango
      @amanimango 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      um... i think i just cut myself. i made a small cut on my knee. is it considered cutting?

  • @ashleyervin602
    @ashleyervin602 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I had a freaky experience when I was a teenager. I ate some smarties before work. I start working and feel a sharp biting sting around my anus. I had to wait three hours to check myself out. Every time I moved I felt a biting and scraping sensation. Three hours pass and finally I go to the bathroom, by this point I am sensitive and raw.
    With heart racing and being scared out of my mind, I pull down my pants and out falls my smarty wrapper. No idea how that happened.

    • @anthonykhan1676
      @anthonykhan1676 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Plot twist: You unconsciously stuffed the smarties wrapper in your pants

  • @michellezavala1355
    @michellezavala1355 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I ate 2lbs of grapes 🍇 in the span of one day. Explosive diarrhea for 3 days! Butthole hurt like freaking crazy 😅

  • @Crazy-Cat-Lady-of-CA
    @Crazy-Cat-Lady-of-CA 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Ate a whole bag of sugar free mint chocolate ice cream candies. I was on the toilet for nearly 24 hours once they hit.

  • @hugosinclair6798
    @hugosinclair6798 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    4:13 I'm dying of laughter, i can't fucking breathe XD

  • @mauricethegecko9700
    @mauricethegecko9700 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    That first one was.. interesting..

  • @Ryukuro
    @Ryukuro 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "Spontaneous Combustion" hot sauce.

  • @nafaiglen4029
    @nafaiglen4029 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It amazes me how some sentences can register over a room of talking people and leave absolute silence in its wake. The title of this video is one such example, and was easily the hardest I have laughed in a long time. Bless you Autoplay, I really needed that. Brightened up the whole day!

  • @vicerichter1163
    @vicerichter1163 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Worst thing is between tacobell and stomach virus; i was shooting from both ends and felt like someone was twisting my insides.

  • @Shagayajahayjaj
    @Shagayajahayjaj 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Jumped into the pond and there was a metal post in there and somehow it just cut my cheek and now I've got like a 3 inch scar on my butt

  • @EmilyElfmore-bk5it
    @EmilyElfmore-bk5it 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    When I was 5, my parents built an addition on our house. There was a balcony with a very tempting banister. I looked at it and thought about it while it was fenced off and the men were working on it.
    On my 6th birthday, my Daddy took me to see Mary Poppins.
    With that magnificent banister game, sliding Up the banister really intrigued me.
    I got home and couldn't figure out how to mount this bottom of the banister...so I used a chair on the balcony to mount the top...slid about a foot before I *noticed* the splinters entering my butt and other sensitive areas. Couldn't stop. Screamed all the way to the bottom. Spent the next 3 hours across Mom's lap, having hundreds of splinters removed.

  • @mysteryminx2619
    @mysteryminx2619 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Well ... there was either the rotavirus I had for 11 days before my wedding, We weren't even sure I was going to be able to make that walk. I eventually just moved into the bathroom because it saved time, and thank god for indoor plumbing, lost 9 pounds and looked great in the wedding pics. Then there was the horrifying episode of the "trapped really large Keystone" that I nearly went to the ER for and was actually so frightening I had to take a Xanax and spent an hour and a half lying down, sweating and gasping. And then there was the full on siege that is still referred to as "The Johnstown Flood." Just know, you're not alone.

  • @walkingman8943
    @walkingman8943 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Water in a tribal part of Mexico. Take a few gulps, baddabing baddaboom, liquid shits and vomiting for days.

  • @peepo6034
    @peepo6034 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Went 3 weeks whithout pooping had a masive crap that my ass hurt for almost a week 1/10 would not recomend
    Edit: almoust fainted btw

  • @devinwilkerson5504
    @devinwilkerson5504 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I feel the medicine ones. Adderall makes your colon close up shop.

  • @Tiresias55
    @Tiresias55 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    0:15 This one is just hilariously disgusting. And I love the stuffed gorilla toy at 24:43. So cute.

  • @courtneyholmes705
    @courtneyholmes705 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    accidently collided with a classmate in gym class in ninth grade landed on my rear. English class was torture with those hard chairs

  • @QueenSunstar
    @QueenSunstar ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Worst thing to happen to my backside? That would be the time Niagara Falls was diverted through my bowels. Ended up going by ambulance to the ER because it was suspected I might have an intestinal prolapse starting.
    I still feel bad for the sudden projectile expulsion out my backside that splattered all over the nurse.
    Two industrial grade anti diarrhea meds later, Niagara Falls was stopped up enough for a more through investigation.
    Yep. My lower intestine was in danger of slipping out. One minor laparoscopic surgery later, two shiny stitches held my intestine in place while a piece was removed for further investigation in the lab.
    C-Diff was ruled out along with cancer. It was a simple flu virus.
    I never vomited nor felt much nausea. It was all in the intestines.
    (Yes, I was vaccinated. It’s probably why my stomach was not affected.)

  • @jennybolt8420
    @jennybolt8420 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Beware the sugar-free Amazon gummy bears

  • @grung701
    @grung701 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    well it all started after i came out as bisexual in prison....

    • @harrymack3565
      @harrymack3565 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Oh no.............

    • @raptorfae.6645
      @raptorfae.6645 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      An F for respects for you my fellow human.

  • @phs125
    @phs125 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My friend thought he'd be sitting on the ledge outside the building,
    Instead he placed his tailbone perfectly on the corner of the ledge.
    He broke his butt.
    Slept prone for couple months after that.
    Couldn't sit at all

  • @ghadrackpotato960
    @ghadrackpotato960 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Did vodka and hot sauce shots on a bet, a lot of them, then had a banana milkshake before passing out. Woke up at 3 am with fire diareaha, had what felt like chemical burns on my sphincter.

  • @SasukeUchiha-tc9xx
    @SasukeUchiha-tc9xx 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I got food poisoning from undercooked chicken. I spent 3 hours in the bathroom as my GI tract committed suicide from both ends. Oh the pain.... 10/10 would not recommend

  • @samalhotra8484
    @samalhotra8484 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    4:13 sounds like a shit that goes like this 🥴🥴🥴 then it feels nice af

  • @forever_398
    @forever_398 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Was at Austrian amusement park, crap spilled onto sidewalk and shoe after ride. Got home *without* underwear.

  • @catherinebirch2399
    @catherinebirch2399 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Having a sphincteroplasty that didn't work very well. The throbbing pain and oozing blood went on for a fortnight.

  • @MauveMimi
    @MauveMimi 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I was listening to this while doing my night routine, could not stop laughing and almost spit my mouthwash out too early.

  • @JohnSydney225
    @JohnSydney225 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    7:59 I feel like there should be patient consent for this kind of stuff. I would be pretty upset and mad if a bunch of random ass medical students just waltz-ed in when I would only want to keep whatever problem I got between myself and the doctor.

  • @coolerrocket
    @coolerrocket 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    When I was seven years old I sat on a banana and of course that changed my life

    • @idontwannalive5386
      @idontwannalive5386 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I always sit on my dumbbells. I leave them laying on the bed and forget lmao

    • @anthonykhan1676
      @anthonykhan1676 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Hey, I just wanna say that you're a great father and your kid will be invited to MENSA and create the most groundbreaking inventions this world has ever seen

  • @lillyfairy2311
    @lillyfairy2311 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    NEVER EAT TOMATOES AND SPICY FOOD FOR A WEEK STRAIGHT-

  • @Screaminglemon631
    @Screaminglemon631 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Dude used peppermint shampoo on me instead of lube on accident. I cried. He laughed. That was the end of that friendship.

  • @Iimesour
    @Iimesour 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I accidentally ordered the wrong noodles. Ended up getting the worlds spiciest noodles.
    (Despite me being Mexican, I cannot tolerate spicy food as it actually feels like a knife is cutting into my tongue. We joke around and say I have the tongue of a white person)
    I said fuck it and ate them. Surprise surprise I couldn't feel my tongue through all the pain, I lost all taste in my tongue for a while, and threw up a little bit. Next morning I had the worst shit I have ever taken.

  • @rebekahdecavit2354
    @rebekahdecavit2354 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    milk of magnesia is terrible. it tastes terrible, and after enough of it, you crap bile every time you eat...

  • @CreditR01
    @CreditR01 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I fell on an ice patch at a ski lodge. Bruised my tail bone badly. Owie.

  • @user-ed3yv4er5o
    @user-ed3yv4er5o 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Charlie horse in the middle of the night, it was leg day and we did 300 squats
    With just the bar followed by the 5min man squatting your own body weight for 5min straight and you can’t drop the bar

  • @amadonbeanz9631
    @amadonbeanz9631 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I've also lost five pounds from a monster duce.

  • @chocorocky5705
    @chocorocky5705 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    8:10 Dont they need to ask your permission for that?

    • @englishruraldoggynerd
      @englishruraldoggynerd 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      They said that it was over thirty years ago..... nowadays definitely. Don’t be put off people, we all have one too!

  • @happypiano4810
    @happypiano4810 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    23:26 is ALMOST EXACTLY my story, but mine was 3 hours instead of 20 min.

  • @Legacy-sw7bv
    @Legacy-sw7bv 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Slid down a small planter hill and perhaps gave my ass a fault on the asphalt. Never got it x-rayed, but it sure hurt quite a lot.

  • @jimbaker8243
    @jimbaker8243 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    DARN!!! No stories involving really spicy foods

  • @danieldurfee4901
    @danieldurfee4901 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Blood clot on the rim. Drs said it was a hemorrhoid, I told them I had hemorrhoids in the past and this is definitely not one. They sent me home. 12hrs later im in the ER getting prepped for emergency surgery 🙄. Told you it wasn't a hemorrhoid.

  • @someguy2297
    @someguy2297 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I was whatching this and I thought dang...I need to s**t