@@joshiek7839you watch porn that degrades us and you see us as objects .You don’t deserve us or our pity .You are whining about not being treated as a special snowflake by us and then accuse US of self pity ? 🤣😂
@@joshiek7839you’re complaining that we don’t pay attention to your issues when you have been treating us like objects and second class citizens for millennia ? 🤣😂
T he patriarchal man is also egotistic and out of touch with Nature's times and seasons, with her rhythms. He has a distorted relationship with birth and death, both of which fall within the mother's area of life: he hides birth from society's eyes, and views death as a personal enemy to men. His talk of "real life" reflects his male-centric focus on life in which women's experiences and history for instance, is silenced and buried. He is used to the social spotlight being on him, and today with this spotlight moving more towards women, he feels neglected and aggrieved.
@@LuxBro-um2fu they are trying to portray stuff that happened 100's of years ago like it still matters. Sure in medevil times women where over shadowed by men but i think most men dont give two cents about it. They say women are reacting to generational putting down when in reality its a bs excuse to be a misandrist. Men are reaction towards the hate today not 500 years ago. These people are intolerabe morons. Also wheres the Equality in doing the same to men as what supposedly happended to these hypocrate misandrists?
Will tell you what patriarchy did to me: my grandfather married my grandmother for her dowry. My grandmother her entire life served my grandfather. My mother was raised in a secluded environment because she was a woman. The same she did to me. I was forbidden from dating forbidden from having friendships going out. The only thing i was allowed and obliged was to study so i can advance socialy cause that s what my mother wanted. And in general i had to obey my parents. I was called immoral by my mother cause i wanted to date. Till this day i am 45 year old now she does not let me have a boyfriend. She does not let me have kids unless it is with someone rich or educated. My parents have broken off an engagement in my late 20s and called in the house of my boyfriend in my 20s or ring my doorbell for hours to see if i was inside with a boyfriend in my 40s. The situation with her will never stop and i wish God will bring me a kid somehow so i have family too. Also my last boyfriend s family his dad and grandma were telling him to cheat on me use me and dump me as his grandma was telling him because i was older than him and that i will make autistic kids as she was saying to him. Aka the notion of men only going with younger women the notion of women must not have sex cause if they do they are immoral beings the notion women must stay at house and be obidient has destroyed my life and my mental health
Im so sorry this happen to you and so many women have bought into this an treat there daughters like second class citizens its very sad our own mothers will harm us so bad, we have to dismantle patriarchy we women have to because men really dont care.
Look at the bright side. Read "Bad men: the roots of sexual deception" by David Buss and you will find that your life, if you would have gotten pregnant buy a broke/poor/stupid/lazy man would have been far worse. Most men are ephebophiles anyways.
I feel like you have coloured in more of the picture of why girls and women are brought up to be pleasing and put our own needs behind others and specifically men. Seeing how this fits into patriarchy is so helpful. Thank you.
Don't know why but how about adopting an approach of meeting people as unique souls first than all the compartmentalizing and labeling that happens sometimes. We can approach animals like this too, as souls. Bringing in the perspective of past lives as souls having been both women and men in all scenarios and dynamics and karma, I wonder if would smooth feathers if contemplated about. Appreciate your full sensitivity, spectrum and scope and freedom of expression!
Likely due to my mother's experiences, I wasn't raised that way, so thought and acted differently (authentically) from the women you describe. Have been punished ever since. 😅
After 70 years as a woman navigating the patriarchy, still struggling for every millimetre we take up in the world, I am only now beginning to despair. Thank you for your clear and insightful analysis - and please continue to speak up.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 That was not attitude, she is describing her emotions and state of mind based on her lived experience. This knee jerk invalidating and insinuating that she is not in "reality" clearly show you DO NOT belong to that category of good men you referring to
@@GoldieBrown-pc6mb Dude I don't care about being "a good man" cause Society & not all but some Women reward bad men while acting like women are somehow morally Superior & so heroic Utter Bs, also I'm Not invalidating Anything I'm questioning Her cause I cannot just Believe her without hard Evidence people lie constantly.
@@theodorathompson2034 How are you navigating the "Patriarchy"?? What even is The patriarchy?? most men don't have power is that's What you mean, only a few Men do.
@@GoldieBrown-pc6mb Dude Im not invalidating anything I'm just questioning her & the guy in the videos beliefs about this so Called "Patriarchy" cause I don't Buy into it.
I'm from India and people here follow patriarchal ideas. I'm a guy who is empathetic and ethical by nature which have made me constantly at odds with the existing system. I support women rights since my childhood and support LGBTQ rights even before I knew about these concepts. It was part of my nature. But I considered my nature as a weakness for a long time. But reading books and understanding evolutionary psychology enabled me to understand myself better. And now in the recent weeks I am understanding the root cause which is PATRIARCHY. Glad to see a guy's perspective about this topic. One good thing you talked about is the plight of so called weaker men in a patriarchal system which even feminists aren't talking about that much.
More men should talk about that for sure! Especially the men who experience it. Feminist have their plates pretty full as it is, navigating in a patriarchal society, & advocating for women as a woman.
It was never weakness it was strength! strength to see beyond the bs fed to you. We would be enjoying an advanced civilization if more men were like you. But today the best thing is for MEN to speak up and join the fight for the truth/ justice/evolution
@gowtham7231 dude I'm in India currently. The men are happy being in charge and the women are happy staying in their own lane. Patriarchy is what built civilisation without it we wouldn't be this advanced
The 1st rule of the patriarchy, is don't talk about the patriarchy. Some men deny it even exists, & some deny that they have any privilege. Conveniently, blaming women for the unrealistic unachievable standards that a patriarchal society expects from them. It's why men invented religion, to maintain power & control. How do we urgently speed up evolution?
How many women you know, are breadwiners for their men and children? How many women you know, pay alimony to fathers with children? How many women are drafted now to army, and how do they perform? Do they fulfill the same standards as men or are the standards separate? 🤔
@@Wargulpartalthe only answer to that question that would make you happy would be none. The better question is why are you comparing yourself to women. Who you guys have said over and over again they are beneath you.
@@herelookinatu The feminist try to play victimhood Olympics and establish themselves as an ultimate victors of that game, making their perceived victimhood the token highest moral highground. I found this tactic dishonest and lacks nuance, if not any remote grasp of reality. Feminism is a supremacy movement targeting its hate and grievence at all men (hence "patriarchy"), making them a favorite scapegoat for all evil of the world and all women failings, ignoring fact that men provided all civilized goods, prosperity and safety, and all of it thanks to traditional male talents and virtues condemn by feminist as "toxic". It's beyond unfair, dishonest, injust, counterproductictive and dare I say suicidal on global scale. For leftists diversity is only skin deep, as if people born the same amd must behave the same way always. Equity and sameness, being the leftists fetish called "egalitarism", require limit of individual action and choice to even try pull this of. Need establisment of socialism. But socialism is a bedrock of totalitarism and tyranny. Socialism promising free stuff, guaranteed access to wares and services, conveniently omitts in its propaganda the necessessity of slavery providing those goods, which leftist call "rights". It never will stop being true to say, those who trade freedom for safety, will not be free nor safe. But the women, being solipsystic as they are, they give in the temptation for promised safety. This is what Adam and Eve parable told about: subjective morality, magical thinking, gnosticism... Evil can't create new things, only steal and corrupt what is created by good. So does all the good fruits of patriarchy being spoiled by feminism in the name of "inclusivity" and "tolerance", which are codenames for mediocrity, envy and grievance.
I know many many women who are breadwinners. Men pay alimony because men still are better rewarded by society and women are still expected to stay home with the kids. There is no draft. Women are not the warriors. Men are. Because men are the ones that start the evil wars. If women were in charge, there would be no wars. There you go. A little logic goes a long way.@@Wargulpartal
@@herelookinatuwhy is he comparing himself to women? Umm because that's the loosely discussed topic here? Lol. What he says is true. As a matter of fact women have more privileges than men. And to be honest "patriarchy" has giving you the platform to speak against it whether you wanna believe that or not. Patriarchy has built the world around you. You benefit from "patriarchy". It is what it is.
I am a very self-aware woman and yes, I have spent my life fighting against this patriarchal system, along with many other women. I am a writer now and will change the world of patriarchy in my stories. Thanks for a great introduction to patriarchy Alexander 🍎
Also I can understand your friend wanting to protect his son from the poisonous kick backs in this patriarchal society. It takes a lot of talking as our children grow up, and constant awareness, and open communication. A challenging task. Not passing it on is probably the best task of parenthood.
Oh! That's incredible! I love writers who write with narratives that revolve around subverting patriarchal tropes! I would love to read some of your works! ❤
I appreciate you talking about this, but you didn't really get down to the root. There are some very interesting feminist books that discuss this, but it very obviously has to do with reproduction and reproductive power over women (as well as their sexuality- the two go hand in hand). E.g. men try to exert extreme dominance over women to ensure that women only bear their children (even though 1 in 25 fathers, as of today, still has, unbeknownst to them children that are not theirs). It's interesting to me that you made the definition of patriarchy all about men, even though patriarchy is more like an obsession with women and the control men long to have over them. Toxic masculinity is a way for men to enforce other men to control women.
Lions kill cubs that aren’t theirs. What you describe of men’s behavior sounds tame by comparison; and just as rational. I can see why women don’t like it, but I also see why men do it… but if things are really as you say, it is merely a power struggle: in which case there is little incentive for men to enable female ‘freedom’, and (more crucially) no moral ground from which women can demand it either. Just war.
Men are also afraid of women. Deep down they know that women have a power and a connection to the life force and its nurturing, creative forces. Not that men would ever want to understand it or have it themselves because control, violence and destruction are their own superpowers and are much more fun and interesting to them. Sorry but this is just how primitive the things we're discussing are.
This subject has many roots another one I feel is the inability of men to produce life and this is why they created a male god. Religion is the foundation to which patriarchy justifies its rule.
I don't think men will ever give up Patriarchy willingly. It will happen as time goes on as women are getting better educated and self supportive. It will morph into a much more equal relationship as time goes on. Men will have to learn to identify as men without putting women in a degraded place. They will no longer use that to feel bigger or better about themselves.
Most men love & care for women that love & care for them, men are great people who will die for you, build you a whole city & go to great lengths to do great things sad you cannot see that.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 >"Most men love & care..." >"Men are great people" Decide on which it is first. Most or all? Bc generalizations for each gender are foolish. It's not all of them.
@@rockinrollin8306 Men typically subconsciously and some purposefully will only hear a mans perspective. Its ingrained through generations of fathers, " head of households" it seems. I know many times Ive given a point of view or a solution to a man and they brush it off to only have another male come say the same thing and its now a good idea.
It's all about narcissism. Power and control through manipulation. Patriarchy is also related to not dividing the family estate and property. The first born got it all in old times. Nowadays, most narcissistic men are the ones who hate feminism the most and they are usually right wing, fascists or incels. They don't want to lose their privileges.
Narcissism in women often takes form of borderline (women are diagnosed more often than men with this form). In other words: it is dihonest to contribute narcissism/toxicity with only one gender.
@@melm295 Yes, it does, just diffrent form. Grandiose narcissism belong to cluster B personality disorders with histrionic and borderline. Grandiose form is mostly diagnosed in men, borderline form in women, both sexes can manifest both forms. According to dsm.
Firstborn son got the lagacy in past, because, there was no contraception and paternity tests before. It is more propable, that firstborn son is biological of husband. Men want taking care of their biological offspring before anyone else. If women thinks it should not be the case, let me propose an offer: Let your newborn child be separated fromyou after birth, and accept the child of stranger for adoption. If you don't accept that offer, then stop calling patriarcjal men "toxic" and "narcissistic".
I find that women tend to uphold patriarchy. The system wouldn't work if women didn't support it. Once women as a collective challenge it, then things will change.
It needs time to find the balance. You can't change the world from one day to the other as it hadn't changed out of the sudden before. It is a process. I don't support patriarchy for example, but I am one of billions.
I agree with this. Some (not all) woment buy right into the idea that women should have a secondary role to men. This is especially prevalent in religious communities. We have met the enemy and it is us.
Some women are even more diehard supporters of patriarchy than the general men. As women they tend to actually be able to recognize the existence of the system, while some men can’t even see the injustices for they aren’t the ones who face the constant suppression (I’m still seeing men being confused and frustrated about this “feminism thing” that seems in their eyes come into existence for no good reasons-because they simply can’t see what is the problem). The women who defend patriarchy could be straight up cruel to other women who aren’t willing to submit to the system. They’re more like knowing compliance compared to men who are most likely proud ignorant (either intentionally or unintentionally)
Always appreciate when I see a man who’s done/doing the work of unpacking patriarchy, and teaching other men about it too. Thank you. As a woman, I’ve had patriarchy mansplained to me by patriarchal man (I prefer to say that rather than toxic) and it’s maddening that they can’t see it and deny it even exists sometimes ! Hopefully in generations to come things will improve but so many get indoctrinated fully without their knowledge. Cultlike. But it lives and breathes in all of us unless we unpack it.
What exactly is wrong with patriarchy?? it's made society great & gave women equal rights and advanced technology, built Housing and better living conditions are you saying all that is bad??
@@Leonhart_93 Bruh the patriarchy was meant To be about love & protection Not calling anyone "inferior" don't project that on others Cause misandrist women think men as such, don't lower yourself to their level.
@@Leonhart_93 That attitude only makes you as bad as the sexist women in these Comment sections, the patriarchy was never a tool for oppression it was something women & men made, to survive.
It’s so sad for me as a woman. I’ve been sexually assaulted many times by those kind of men. It really hurt me and I still struggle and have to work on myself REALLY HARD because of it. But to be fair, I’m glad to be a woman. We (most of us) don’t look at people as less human, we’re empathetic and we’re able to show emotions, which is very human🙂 and yet, we’re looked at as less human. How crazy is that? 😉
( By most of us) you mean women right?? I hate to disappoint you but you're defintley wrong, also I'm sorry you had that happen to you those people that did that to you aren't men they are bad people from a fallen state.
I disagree women are not looked at as "lower humans" that's a lie, men most defintley did see women as that & put their lives on the line for women that indeed is seeing People as human.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 Hi there and thank you. Yes, I said most of us (women). It’s definitely both genders but unfortunately a lot of unhealed men treat women as „something” they can touch, comment on, catcall… and then women start seeing themselves as those objects as well. Just look what’s going on online, look at social media like Instagram or TikTok, look at porn. I think it’s very sad. And I didn’t say that all men are bad. I have a partner who is a great man. But I still struggle with how I see myself and I work very hard on it because of how unhealed men treated me in past. Also strangers. If you’re a good man, please don’t take to yourself what I said above.
@@pattataj It's not only men that act that way Yes some do, but women do this as well me & people closest to Me were both treated bad by some women who couldn't Keep their hands to themselves.
For thousands of years (basically all of “civilization”) there has been an implicit social contract, which is patriarchy. “If you respect your place in the (male) hierarchy, obey your betters, show up ready to fight when called up to war then you are entitled to a free slave (wife)”. Sometimes you even get paid (dowry) to take this slave. You can treat this property however you see fit (including murder and torture). If you (men) keep up your part, we (male led society) will enforce this bargain on women by legally restricting them, to such a degree that they cannot survive without being owned by a man. This social contract has been torn up, in most of the west in the last 50 years. In response some men are angry and behaving violently, and women (finally realizing they are free and can flourish without an owner) are opting out of interacting with those angry, violent men. Which makes this subset of men more violent.
@@dharma6481 Everything you said I believe is False, men loved women also did women not have power too?? you act as if all women were just victims & every man is a Boogeyman that just oppressed them for no Reason then "power or control" It's completely 1-sided and viewing men as pure evil men were oppressed as Well.
@@dharma6481 "These subset of men" live in You're head they are caricatures and you do not understand why things happened in the past both Genders cooperated, you act as if no man did anything good and as if all women are victims & had No power, so there were no queens or mothers with influence everything You're saying is just incorrect.
My ex was like this. Very abusive, controlling, thought very low of women and if he had a female manager he would end up getting fired because he couldnt handle them telling him what to do. He said women were stupid etc. He grew up watching his mother belittle his dad and i remember him saying he never wanted to be spinless like him. Everyone thinks he is wonderful on the outside. I have certainly seen this in the workplace too, as a female manager ive even had hand written notes telling me i cant tell them what to do... so disempowered. Its damaging to everyone. If there are ways to help everyone in this cycle, that would be great
So a man who endured buse from women with power in his formative years has trouble with women with power over him? Or trouble with similar toxic feminism? Just for clarification.
@I-md6mq he did have abuse from his childhood but that isn't an excuse to abuse others and it doesnt mean the females he then abuses as a result deserve it. Everyone is responsible, male and female, for healing themselves so they don't project their pain and biases of the other sex, onto others. For example he also was abusive to his daughter and me. It says that he has an issue with women generally from that unhealed part of him.I hope that helps
So he's the bad guy in you're eyes?? I think he's just adopted his mother's badness, you become who you hate, I don't think he has a "low view of women" whatever that means he's just become his mom & his dad.
I didnt hear a more sensible and coherent explanation about masculinity, patriarchy, and femininity (even if its a little bit) until now. Thank you. I think i need to listen to the video again to sement this im my brain
Patriarchy is entitlement to physical existence and needs of security, food and sex. Some forms of patriarchy are politics, democracy, religion, white supremacy, tribalism, capitalism, colonialism, Freemasonry, slavery and imperialism. Patriarchy controls labs, science, research, technology, society, economics and psychologically manifests as Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, Psycopathy and Narcissism. If you don't submit to their interpretation and organization of truth, like university degrees, they disqualify you for life and personal creativity. Patriarchy is when men live by their Suprachaismatic nucleus and amygdala brains of violent regulation of physical satisfaction.
Men working together for effective protective and aggressive violence benefited the whole community. That did come at the ecpense of women and some men. This presentation appropriates women's grievances in the service of beta makes. This is not about empowering women but yo unseat dominant makes and take their place.
@@inetstrydom8787 yeah, it benefitted white people against innocent Afrikans. That's why Pope Nicolas V sanctioned slavery and colonialism. Toxic Patriarchal Masculinity, Narcissism.
There is some pretty staunch male black power on women too, there are also black free masons you know?!! Biggest thing is for us females of all color, were the first slaves and traded as livestock. Raped and pillaged, burned at stakes. We need to pull together, no matter our color of skin, it's only an organ to protect our bodies. But our hearts and spirits for thousands of generations have been under a type of dominion that needs to end, for males to grow and their spirits be changed, we too must be open to fostering those trying to develop and rewire. Of course with boundaries.
Typical feminist response. Women can never do wrong in your eyes because you're so brainwashed. You can't accept the fact that men and women are not supposed to be equal. You probably don't even identify as a woman anyway. Some kind of "non binary... insert, insert insert" type of thing the lgbtqwysdtam community got you to believe.
I like when you said that the more you're aware of this patriarchal system depends on your place in the system. Your unbiased view is refreshing. Thank you.
Hey Alexander! Where are you sourcing/citing your information from? It would be super cool if you could provide some information/links! Great video! Thank you for providing it in such a digestible and open-minded manner!
Wow. As a girl who always knew she was getting the short end, all I can say is wow. Thank you for telling me that was self awareness. It's been very painful but I stole their knowledge so good for me!🎉
Yes, I have. And I am on a tight rope, the seeing men as dangerous. I thought before I shift my mindset to stay safe, I am going to learn about it first before I make my mind up. This will be part of my healing to learn WHY because I'm starting to blame myself.
Also another thing is thinking for yourself opening your mind, and taking responsibility for your own life. Don't let these people think for you. Acting like a victim will only affect your own life negatively. It's like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Everyone is brainwashed so the first step is to acknowledge it and detach from it. If you look outside and see reality you will see that this guy is putting words in the mouth of the people on that side. Everything he is saying I can confirm this is nothing we think of. I know because I'm a man. I see the side of men aswell do the same thing the algorithm feeds you what you want to hear not what is actual. Even if it was it still wouldn't be reality. Bless your hearts.
Dr Carol Gilligan and Naomi Snider's research around why this is still going on, because humans are wired to resist infection, something damaging. They have TH-cam videos and interviews around their findings and book "Why Does Patriarchy Persist?" . I am so glad this is being discussed by men, now too. Thank you for your courage and leadership...as Dr. Jackson Katz has pointed out in his work. The importance of pointing out patriarchy, the bystander approach.
Even though there are more and more prominent women in films, they still portray strong women through the lens of patriarchy. That’s not good either. Being emotional is still seen as weakness.
hmm if a "strong female character" is basically only the one that takes on masculine characteristics doesn't that mean that there's no other way for women to be strong?
@@elongatedmanforever1252 just like sigma, alpha or anything like that is, concepts disproven by science, yet so many men swear on it. It's just astrology with a primarily male following, a power fantasy promising greatness and superiority.
I have another experience of patriarchy and masculinity: my grandfather was born in a small italian village and started working as he was 12 and retired at 65. He was working in a factory but every morning he was waking up at 4 since he had to take care of his animals ( chickens, rabbits, turkeys , geese,pidgeons) and his relativly small field where he cultivated potatoes, wheat, grapes , olive trees etc.after work he used to spend a couple of hours in the field and whith his animals again. When he retired he started working no stop in his fields,even on sunday managing to increase their yields exponentially. My grandmother was taking care of the house . She was coocking and cleaning. My grandfather never raised his voice against her. He used to call her " my Queen" and he treated her as such.She was yelling at him all the times. He never screamed back. Not a single time.My father started working at 14 and managed to have a good career. He was working no stop. My mother was an housewife and took care of my father and of their children quite well. My father never raised his voice against my mother. He always showed the utmost respect towards her and other women.She was constantly yelling at him even if she loved him.He never complained. This is the experience I have with patriarchy. I never raised my voice against a woman, I never hurt one. A couple of times I risked my life to protect women I did not even know. I just did what my father and my granfather would have done in the same circumstances. This is my experience of patriarchy and masculinity. I tried to follow the example of my father and grandfather: I worked hard and I got married because I was in love. My ex wife was quite successful as well even if I earned 5 times more than her. She wanted a villa with swimming pool. I bought her one. She wanted to go out and eat in expensive reastaurants almost every evening. I did it. She wanted exotic vacations. I took care of that. I did her foot massage every single night, even when I was completely exhausted from work. I never raised my voice against her, I never criticised her. In exchange she was constantly insulting and yelling at me. When she started cheating on me I divorced whitout even blaming her. I took the entire responsibility of our failure as a couple.I am still an old fashioned gentleman, and I am thankfull to my humble but strong father and and grandfather because they showed me by example how to be a man and how to respect women. Even when they do not respect you.
@@dainagrn7030 you are right, totally right. But I was ( and partially still I am ) deeply influenced by the experiences I had in my family. For me being a man meant to be strong , protective and responsible. Even if my ( russian ) wife was abusing me I wrongly assumed that she had just a bad temper and that I was strong enough to stand her. Eventually when I was divorcing her she was chasing me and she told me " I love you because you have the balls to leave me ". I always had balls, but she did not notice them since I was kind and patient with her. Now I am happily divorced, I take good care of my kids and have a good life. My bad experience with my ex wife did not impact on my behavior vis a vis other women. I still behave as a gentleman, in every circumstances. But I will never be abused again. And you are right, many Italians of my generation are extremely kind with their women. Sometimes too much.
@DiogenesNephew my father and grandfather were highly respected by their community. My grandfather fought 5 years first in the italian army in Russia and in the Balkans, then as a freedom fighter against the Germans. My father started working when he was 14 and became later a successful manager.They both could not care less about women rants and antics, they just ignored them. Arguing with them was considered as arguing with a 3 years old child: a waste of time.They let them rule in the domestic space, but they obviously took all the important decisions.This model is obsolete of course, but it worked well for women, who were always protected, and satisfied since they felt important at home, and for men, who were basically living outside for working and other activities and came back home just for dinner. Men and women were living parallel lives, with little or not interference in the respective spaces. This was patriarchy in Italy and in other mediterranean countries. Each gender had a specific role in society, but there was no widespread gender violence since hitting a woman was considered a dishonorable act.
@DiogenesNephew indeed. I just wanted to show that the patriarchal society in Italy was quite protective of women. The division of roles was very strict : women stayed home and men were living outside for work and other activities. But domestic violence was rare because hitting a women was considered a dishonorable act. Paradoxically, men were quite linient with their wives as long as they accepted their role, and could not care less about their antics. They just ignored them. Once I asked my grandfather why was si standing my grandma's rants. He answered that arguing with a woman is like arguing with a 3 years old child. A waste of time.
If you go door to door in our nation and talk to citizens about domestic violence, almost everyone will insist that they do not support male violence against women, that they believe it to be morally and ethically wrong. However, if you then explain that we cannot end male violence against women by challenging patriarchy, and that means no longer accepting the notion that men should have more rights and privileges than women because of biological difference or that men should have the power to rule over women, that is when the agreement stops. There is a gap between the values they claim to hold and their willingness to do the work of connecting thought and action, theory and practice to realize these values and thus create a more just society.” ― bell hooks, All About Love: New Visions
@@rwalters5803 nice quote. But it does'nt explain why Italy, Greece and Poland, which are quite traditionalist, patriarchal countries, have a femicide rate much lower than in the UK , in Germany and in the Scandinavian countries. The official statistical data are available online and they speak for themselves: obviously correlation is not causation but the only conclusion we can draw is that in more socially advanced european countries , where the gender equality is almost reached, more women are killed by men than in backwards european countries.
From 20:37 to 20:58, it says it all! 👏 .. I have a question, please @21:00 Please address to us where in the Qura'n it's stated that women should serve men! Thank you
I agree with some of your points, but I don’t understand why you keep making reference to trans people. Trans are an extremely powerful group, who have the authority to direct policy, legislation, and even language. This is pertinent to biological adult males, who identify as women. That is a perfect definition of toxic masculinity, yet you continue to describe them as weaker members of society.
Oh my gosh :( I just made a post on my local Reddit about two men trying to grope and hug me on my morning walk and random Men doing nothing and even giving him money afterwards and I mostly got discrediting comments calling me crazy or giving props to these men
I like that you are talking about this topic and defining it so clearly. I find that it’s rare for feminist thinkers to actually define these terms in any clear way. I appreciate your intellectual honesty in doing so. In my experience most feminists define patriarchy as “anything I don’t like about how my culture does gender.” So this is a relief. I agreed with most of the body of what you said, however I disagree with almost all your underlying assumptions. I think you came to some good conclusions starting from some incorrect places. Let me explain: First, I’m going to accept your definition of the toxically masculine patriarch: Ranking men as dominant over women, and strong men over week men Successful (i.e. competent). Emotionless (stoic) Inexpressive Sexually aggressive Attacks those who are different Untethered aggression Using morality as a manipulative tool Tribalistic Now I’m not an anthropologist. But I am a psychotherapist, and one of the techniques that I use when I see a pathological behavior is to refrain from judging that behavior, but to instead become curious about how that behavior is adaptive. So let’s ask ourselves, under what circumstances is this list of traits adaptive. Under what circumstances would this expression of masculinity be helpful to get a man through his life and to help to establish his status and wellbeing in his community? You describe these behaviors as “weird.” They are NOT weird. WE are weird. We are: “Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich and Democratic.” In MOST of human history, indeed in most of western history, we lived in tribal and clan based relationships. In these societies, the men (i.e. the disposable members of society) needed to band together, form dominant hierarchies and go to war to protect the women and children (the essential members of society) from the neighboring tribes. This arrangement ended when we evolved the social technology known as the state. State systems outsource violence and protection from the tribe to the bureaucracy of the state system (a.k.a the police force). The status and sexual access of what you call patriarchy is the bribe that men were paid in order to have them be willing to sacrifice their bodies and comforts to protect the tribe. Women and children respected men and looked up to them because they were the ones who took the risks and made the sacrifices to protect the society as a whole. Women preferentially chose men who were good at this. MANY women still do preferentially choose men based on these traits. So female sexual preference is also an incentive in this process. Another consequence of this was that people with psychopathic tendencies often rose to positions of prominence because they were the ones who asserted their dominance the best and who were the best killers. Much as successful psychopaths become CEO’s today (read the book snakes in suits). Now you may think that we have grown beyond this sort of thing, but that is only true locally. There are still lots of places in the world where what you characterize as patriarchal “toxic masculinity” is still very adaptive to the local social environment. In addition, cultures change over time, and what may be “toxic” today may be highly sought after tomorrow if the police aren’t there to help you protect yourself, having an effective tribal warlord is the next best thing. So, again, thank you for being clear in your approach. I think it might be helpful for you to consider how these qualities in a man are valuable and not be so quick to throw the baby out with the bath water. For more on this topic I would encourage you to check out some books on the subject such as “why men are the way they are” by Warren Farrell. Patriarchal belief is not a pathology. It is a part of the the cultural tool kit that our for fathers have passed on to us. It's both good and bad. But then, so is feminism. Be well.
14:20 What TV were you watching though? Every male figure on TV I saw was kind and did his best to help people: Hardcastle and McCormick Katts and Dog Columbo MacGyver The Incredible Hulk (when he wasn't hulking out - which was always thought of as a bad thing) Frickin Fred Flinstone Don Johnson in Miami Vice Inspector Wexford in Ruth Rendell Mysteries Dr. Who I could go on. You're describing the villains in all those TV series. You've got it backwards, sir.
As a therapist who specializes in men's psychology, I find that any therapist/psychologist that uses the term "toxic masculinity" is practicing unethically because "toxic masculinity" comes with preconceived negative attitudes against men and masculinity. It's also harmful to young men. Instead of calling masculinity toxic, it's better to talk about healthy versus unhealthy behaviors.
этот термин "токсичная мужественность" предвзят только с точки зрения патриархальных взглядов. однако вы правы, термин неэтичен, т.к касается индивида клиента которого вы терапевтируете.
Masculinity in itself isn't toxic. Toxic masculinity is. The controling and demanding, not nurturing, protecting and empathetic kind. The one that needs to put women down to feel masculine - not work with them, love them, or just accept them as equals. The masculinity of a mob boss is different from that of a loving family father. Both are masculinity. But one of them is harmful. The other is a creating and nurturing force. That's just the truth. If people were more educated, they'd know people who criticise toxic masculinity Don't criticise masculinity in general. Wrong words are being put into feminist's mouth. That's what radicalizes young men.
I see the video failed to mention that patriarchy tells that men are responsible and supposed to put the needs of others above his own, that mens lives are less worth than females so he isso expected to sacrifice his life and posessions to the benefit of women, that he is not supposed to hit back when assaulted by a woman and that he is not worthy of empaty nor has the right to express emotions because of another point the video forgets to mention is that the ranking of men are mostly done by the sexual preferences of the women. If you look at the characteristics for ranking the video lays out, these are the exactely same characteristics that makes men more sexually desirable. Success power money agressiveness body strenghth (specially height) assertiveness and being basically full of themselves is what women rank men in dating, and all the stats supports that, men without those traits know they are lower in the hierarchy because women make sure to show them that they simply are not desirable, and basically dont exist as a man. So maybe all this talk about taking down the patriarchy should start to talk about how they will make women feel sexually attracted to short depressed fat men that make less money then them, are agreeable to the point they say amen to all women say and just stay home taking care of the kids while she provides for him, because without breaking down this hierarchical structure mosltly imposed by the mating selection of women, i don´t see something good comming out of this anti masculinity crusade.
Exactly. That's why as a man I am against patriarchy but I am not a feminist. They are really blaming it all on men when men suffer equally if not less.
No, just no. There are no absolutes. Should really stop saying everyone and all. Can only be a 100% sure that you cannot be 100% sure of anything. But i am 110% certain you’re 100% wrong about everything you said. Congrats.
Really? Mysagony - violence towards women is ok because men go to war?? It is like saying I can take your wallet just because my hair is brown! Huh....
If "true man" are SO successful, SO strong, SO indipendant, why they need to be provided by someone "weak" like whining boys, thats doe's not make sense.
True. But 'toxic masculinity' tends to be more destructive as a general rule compare to 'toxic feminity'. Is it surprising that it tends to concern people more?
10:47 Are you just describing a cartoon villain? This could be Lex Luthor or KingPin or the Austin Powers guy? This is not the ideal patriarch and everyone knows that.
Toxic masculinity doesn't exist . When he began saying " my definition of Toxic masculinity" He already lost credibility. The wokeness is strong with this one.
главное ничем не подкреплять свои слова, токсичной маскулинности нет и все, просто потому что ты так сказал. банально и не интеллектуально, твои слова не ценнее воздуха в таком случае, братишка, хехехе, это реально выглядело неубедительно, ты вообще анализируешь слова и как они будут выглядеть прежде чем их сказать? тухло,чел, тухло
@@cannabis__000 No it's because it doesn't Exist & makes it that it Isn't men as individuals Making good or bad decisions It's treating them as a monolith.
omg i cant believe that this was real. Totally thought this was going to be satire. Kudos to this guy for doing it, I personally wouldnt be ok with publicly demonstrating my complete lack of testosterone. Nice to see a comment section who thinks who dont or have never had an ounce of agency or important place in society. gross bigots.
веруны в тестостерон как определитель мужственности даже в англо среде их дофига, ниче себе, оказывается по ту сторону океана тупиц просто дофига😁даже как то жалко что имея доступ к науке и публикациям на англ.языке вы не знаете банальных вещей, не стремитесь узнать, и пишете высеры абсолютно не имеющим отношения к обьективности. позор сплошной ахахахха
I can tell you that if I were a movemotional to my woman After a while she will get annoyed End will dump me.... It is not natural for a guy to cry like a woman. Because man and woman are built Differently
You won't listen to sociologist's definitions of the issue either, so why would it make a difference? Same people to listen to the alpha/sigma stuff that has been scientifically disproven. The irony is real.
As the timeless Ouroborus would suggest, patriarchy is a tail-end extension of its own matriarchal head, where one can not exist without the other as each follows the other throughout the course of all eternity. Spiritually speaking (gender aside), matriarchy can begin with an understanding of the cyclical nature of reality (God). Represented by the snake in many creation myths, the living cycle has a trinity of a beginning (head), a middle and end (tail). As above so below, the sexes were created in the image of God's cyclical nature where Mother is the head and opening to all beginnings and Father holds the tail to all endings (through which the sowing of seeds allow for the next great matriarchal rebirth).The joining of the two (symbolized by the Ouroborus or the marriage ring) is the sacred union needed in assuring the creation and continuation of new life cycles. To speak of the present day God as "Our Father" is simply an admission to our collective positioning within the bigger cycle. As all mothers have direct experience with the creator quality of birthing, so is the direct experience of rebirthing the divinity within (baptism) belong to that which is spiritually matriarchal. (John 3, verse 3-8). Sekhmet statues (ancient Egyptian) carry most of their weight in symbolic memory of what was a mother culture dedicated to the direct experience of baptism. As the leg shaped hairlocks extend from maternal breasts to the womb of rebirth, the lioness's head proportions are such that they highlight the bust of a second animal figure. The Lioness's ears as eyes and eyes as nose (nostrils) brings to life the figure of a reptile. 'Neath the halo headress of the solar egg, the lioness's egg fertilization process being internal (Set) and the reptile's egg fertilization process being external (Setting), such being key components to the safety of entering the trans-egoic or "born again" state. The life threatening fear associated with the predatory nature of a lion and/or crocodile encounter are reflective of the intense ego death experiences associated with the transpersonal awakening process. In spiritually matriarchal times, illumination could be seen as wearing the false beard (ancient Egyptian funerary "ego" death mask) as the high state of cyclical self knowing; high awareness of both our upper matriarchal half and our lower (later) patriarchal half (compared with a mini lower body replica, an "as above so below" tail end beard extension); in full recognition of her civilizational Underworld; her inevitable cyclical destiny. The male pharaoh wears his beard tapered in reverse, indicating a pointing upwards towards the patriarchal head, divine representative of God's tail end cycle. Mary's anointing and wiping of Jesus's feet with her hair can then be seen as "Head to tail" (toe) imagery as she descends her matriarchal head to his patriarchal feet, thus reenacting the high understanding of the divine cyclical process. (John 12, verse 3) To carry the Ankh (now the female symbol ♀️) was perhaps to symbolically carry that upper and lower understanding. As the upper matriarchal womb symbolised the fertile birthing of civilization, below, the now Christian cross is carried to place emphasis on the lower (later) "End Times" Father principle of the great cycle. Lord Ganesha, the elephant headed Hindu diety, displays a cyclical head to trunk symbolism and points to the Mother head of his matriarchal elephant society. Ganesha (like the elephant) wears God's cyclical nature on his face. A whole temple was dedicated to Hathor (ancient Egyptian diety), who is the matriarchal "Uterus" personified. th-cam.com/video/J0m0zJSEFK0/w-d-xo.html "See all women as mothers, serve them as your mother. when you see the entire world as the mother, the ego falls away. See everything as Mother and you will know God." - Neem Karoli Baba "My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother." - Proverbs 6 : 20
The way males and females tend to be has to be evolution continuing to succeed with it in survival. Making differences in society can move evolution to tend to equality and less fear.
Some of the feminist groups need to be more balanced in their approach. It is going to take time to unravel and foster men with love and healthy boundaries. ❤️
Nietzsche's philosophy was misused by the N+zis and the term "Übermensch" has nothing to do with such ranking systems of human groups. It rather means that humans must transcend what they are now and become beings devoid of any metaphysical needs which are in Nietzsche's view nihilistic.
With great privilege comes great responsibility............. Meaning, most women i know that complain about the "patriarchy" want the privileges that they believe the patriarchy provides to men (power, control, wealth, status, etc), but very few of those women can take an ounce of criticism or responsibility for poorly made choices derived from their decision making, and often look for someone else to blame for their situation or to save them from their situation. True egalitarianism absolutely requires men and women to act in their own respective strengths and be acknowledged by both for those strengths. And each being accountable equally for decisions and consequences, not by just blasting patriarchy.
You say that like women are excempt of criticism and consecuences when you couldn't be further from the truth. You will be judged, scrutinized and sidelined if you're female. Even women in jails paying higher prices while men get a tap on the wrist for doing far worse. And most women are there for self defense, because of a man. *typos, not my first language
Bruh nothing this guy is saying is true, im honestly saddened that so many women buy into this narrative, that men universally oppressed women & hated them when many men would die for women & protect them with their lives, men fought to free slaves which were women & men, men wanted to make the world a better place because They lived in a society, where slavery was common as a person washing their hands people always talk about how "women fought for their righs" but men fought with their lives & for others to be free, a lot of that goes unoticed & men are treated as pure evil supervillains out to get women at every corner its insane & sad that men only get credited when a woman is mistreated or victimized but a Man giving up his life or men loving The women in their lives is ignored or treated as a "rare occurrence".
How does a woman not fight for her life if she fights for her right to not get assaulted so badly she dies? How does she not fight for her sisters? Her mother, her grandmothers, her daughters? And how do men who fight for others most of the time not fight for things they themselves started?
@@felixklauk4410 Because men would all have power If patriarchy was real, but that's not True at all in fact many women had Power in the past, like being a queen Or a mother who would influence Generations.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 Yeah! I was agreeing with you. Maybe I should have worded that better. I also see that some feminists are presenting a version of history where men are portrayed as oppressing women for no reason beyond power or control. This particular narrative oversimplifies complex historical dynamics. It is not only inaccurate in a historical context but also harmful to public discourse, as it unfairly blames men in general. Even though men are the primary targets of this distorted view, I don't see how women stand to benefit from it. Vilifying the opposite sex doesn't seem to solve anything-it just reinforces divisions.
Very true, thank you so much. How tragic that with patriarchy, men can never grow up, mature and become true human beings. The biggest failure of mankind. Glorifying violence, insensitivity oppression and great ignorance.... frankly.... this is where it got us. Great job, wish more men and women awake to toxic masculinity.
"How tragic that with patriarchy, men can never grow up, mature and become true human beings" - If you have a loving father, big brother or other males of that sort around you, you would see that they are loving, and caring human beings. That disproves your view of "patriarchy", doesn´t it?
21:11 There definitely is some nasty behavior from men (and there will always be) and it seems you are generalizing a bit too much. The backlash is mostly against being made to think that beingale is a disease that needs treatment. There is a large scale over correction in society and this is erasing the kind of men we all want in society. Now all we have are rudderless men roaming around. I believe those are the people who could sincerely use your help.
I strongly disagree that men and women that want to enforce mysoginistic policies are unaware that they were ingrained with these ideas. They are fully aware, fully believe them. And, in the case of minorities: they do it in spite of it effing themselves over. Because the ideal they uphold is more important than their well being as well as the others that suffer under these ideals. Calling these people unaware is a disservice, and makes them devoid of responsibility for their actions somehow. They are not toddlers.
I don't believe in the word "Misoggony" it's vague & is mostly used to paint Men as inherently against women from beginning of time, like men never treated women with any respect?? Utter Bs.
Mr. Butler is not the guru for you. His knack for over simplification and gross streo typical condemnation is not going to help you in life or having desirable relationships. Follow him out to the leafy glade as he yammers away at your own peril.
You talk about patriarchy the same way Christians talk about sin. You are a preacher, preaching a false religion. We see through your unsubstantiated claims.
Hon. masculinity is simply the fact of being a man. No more and no more less. You had nothing to do with that accident of birth. How could that be a virtue? That's an oxymoron. And this is moronic.
Look at definitions of virtue and morals. Masculinity is not a virtue or a moral. Morals don't change. The use of masculinity certainly can be toxic, just as Feminity can be.
@fup723 "Masculinity bad. There are no distinctions between genders and everything is nothing." You will continue to push away rationality by refusing to operate from at least an acknowledgement of basic realities.
The word woke talks about being aware of the importance of civil rights in regard to racial equity. Use of the word on any other context is incorrect (which I think we know but choose to ignore). Your automated reaction is boring af.
@@BeforeWarTheBookoh so you think black women are not equal to fight for our rights? Original white feminists where also RACIST. This world thrived of misogynoir and that time is OVER.
For thousands of years (basically all of “civilization”) there has been an implicit social contract, which is patriarchy. “If you respect your place in the (male) hierarchy, obey your betters, show up ready to fight when called up to war then you are entitled to a free slave (wife)”. Sometimes you even get paid (dowry) to take this slave. You can treat this property however you see fit (including murder and torture). If you (men) keep up your part, we (male led society) will enforce this bargain on women by legally restricting them, to such a degree that they cannot survive without being owned by a man. This social contract has been torn up, in most of the west in the last 50 years. In response some men are angry and behaving violently, and women (finally realizing they are free and can flourish without an owner) are opting out of interacting with those angry, violent men. Which makes this subset of men more violent.
Most women crave this dynamic. They’ve been “free” for 50 years and absolutely miserable because they are directionless. They need patriarchal structure to gain purpose and safety.
@@dharma6481 You're whole comment is just Wrong & misandrist, you aware Most men were restricted too?? you act as if all women had no Rights or freedoms and that's Not even true & you're acting Like men are just bad and just want to be over women but Why though just because they are men??
@@dharma6481 Dude you're vilifying men & not Trying to understand them, men Had restrictions just like women did, women had control over others in cases too & thought patriarchy was good, you're removing the nuance Of history & just say men bad just Because.
A man speaking on this topic gives me so much hope.
Most women will never fully understand the struggle of everyday men because they wallow in a pool of self pitty
@@joshiek7839you watch porn that degrades us and you see us as objects .You don’t deserve us or our pity .You are whining about not being treated as a special snowflake by us and then accuse US of self pity ? 🤣😂
@@joshiek7839stop watching porn and seeing us as objects and feeling sorry for yourself for starters .
@@joshiek7839you’re complaining that we don’t pay attention to your issues when you have been treating us like objects and second class citizens for millennia ? 🤣😂
@@KrisGill-n6o as I said - your wallowing in a pool of sellf pitty. thanks for proving me right.
T he patriarchal man is also egotistic and out of touch with Nature's times and seasons, with her rhythms. He has a distorted relationship with birth and death, both of which fall within the mother's area of life: he hides birth from society's eyes, and views death as a personal enemy to men. His talk of "real life" reflects his male-centric focus on life in which women's experiences and history for instance, is silenced and buried. He is used to the social spotlight being on him, and today with this spotlight moving more towards women, he feels neglected and aggrieved.
So says the selfish narcassist aka modern whamen
@@kriispyskinzthank you
As if men's problems aren't buried over women's complaining
@@LuxBro-um2fu they are trying to portray stuff that happened 100's of years ago like it still matters. Sure in medevil times women where over shadowed by men but i think most men dont give two cents about it. They say women are reacting to generational putting down when in reality its a bs excuse to be a misandrist. Men are reaction towards the hate today not 500 years ago. These people are intolerabe morons. Also wheres the Equality in doing the same to men as what supposedly happended to these hypocrate misandrists?
@@LuxBro-um2fu and thank you sir
Will tell you what patriarchy did to me: my grandfather married my grandmother for her dowry. My grandmother her entire life served my grandfather. My mother was raised in a secluded environment because she was a woman. The same she did to me. I was forbidden from dating forbidden from having friendships going out. The only thing i was allowed and obliged was to study so i can advance socialy cause that s what my mother wanted. And in general i had to obey my parents. I was called immoral by my mother cause i wanted to date. Till this day i am 45 year old now she does not let me have a boyfriend. She does not let me have kids unless it is with someone rich or educated. My parents have broken off an engagement in my late 20s and called in the house of my boyfriend in my 20s or ring my doorbell for hours to see if i was inside with a boyfriend in my 40s. The situation with her will never stop and i wish God will bring me a kid somehow so i have family too. Also my last boyfriend s family his dad and grandma were telling him to cheat on me use me and dump me as his grandma was telling him because i was older than him and that i will make autistic kids as she was saying to him. Aka the notion of men only going with younger women the notion of women must not have sex cause if they do they are immoral beings the notion women must stay at house and be obidient has destroyed my life and my mental health
Im so sorry this happen to you and so many women have bought into this an treat there daughters like second class citizens its very sad our own mothers will harm us so bad, we have to dismantle patriarchy we women have to because men really dont care.
You didn't loose anything, you only won a better life, trust me
This isn’t patriarchy. Your parents have real issues. You should probably get a restraining order.
Look at the bright side. Read "Bad men: the roots of sexual deception" by David Buss and you will find that your life, if you would have gotten pregnant buy a broke/poor/stupid/lazy man would have been far worse.
Most men are ephebophiles anyways.
And the pervasive concept that the absolute highlight of a woman's achievement is her wedding.
I feel like you have coloured in more of the picture of why girls and women are brought up to be pleasing and put our own needs behind others and specifically men. Seeing how this fits into patriarchy is so helpful. Thank you.
Don't know why but how about adopting an approach of meeting people as unique souls first than all the compartmentalizing and labeling that happens sometimes. We can approach animals like this too, as souls. Bringing in the perspective of past lives as souls having been both women and men in all scenarios and dynamics and karma, I wonder if would smooth feathers if contemplated about. Appreciate your full sensitivity, spectrum and scope and freedom of expression!
How about leaving women alone 🎉 we're not going to listen to you !@@stonedoliveees
As it should
Likely due to my mother's experiences, I wasn't raised that way, so thought and acted differently (authentically) from the women you describe. Have been punished ever since. 😅
@victoriawilkinson
Yes cause no man ever has
put their needs aside, or
sacrifices himself for
others??
After 70 years as a woman navigating the patriarchy, still struggling for every millimetre we take up in the world, I am only now beginning to despair. Thank you for your clear and insightful analysis - and please continue to speak up.
This attitude is dividing you from
good men & the world of reality
at large.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 That was not attitude, she is describing her emotions and state of mind based on her lived experience. This knee jerk invalidating and insinuating that she is not in "reality" clearly show you DO NOT belong to that category of good men you referring to
@@GoldieBrown-pc6mb
Dude I don't care about
being "a good man" cause
Society & not all but some
Women reward bad men
while acting like women
are somehow morally
Superior & so heroic
Utter Bs, also I'm
Not invalidating
Anything I'm questioning
Her cause I cannot just
Believe her without hard
Evidence people lie constantly.
@@theodorathompson2034
How are you navigating the
"Patriarchy"?? What even is
The patriarchy?? most men
don't have power is that's
What you mean, only a few
Men do.
@@GoldieBrown-pc6mb
Dude Im not invalidating anything
I'm just questioning her & the guy
in the videos beliefs about this so
Called "Patriarchy" cause I don't
Buy into it.
I'm from India and people here follow patriarchal ideas. I'm a guy who is empathetic and ethical by nature which have made me constantly at odds with the existing system. I support women rights since my childhood and support LGBTQ rights even before I knew about these concepts. It was part of my nature. But I considered my nature as a weakness for a long time. But reading books and understanding evolutionary psychology enabled me to understand myself better. And now in the recent weeks I am understanding the root cause which is PATRIARCHY. Glad to see a guy's perspective about this topic. One good thing you talked about is the plight of so called weaker men in a patriarchal system which even feminists aren't talking about that much.
More men should talk about that for sure! Especially the men who experience it. Feminist have their plates pretty full as it is, navigating in a patriarchal society, & advocating for women as a woman.
It was never weakness it was strength! strength to see beyond the bs fed to you.
We would be enjoying an advanced civilization if more men were like you. But today the best thing is for MEN to speak up and join the fight for the truth/ justice/evolution
This is the silliest comment I've read on this topic.
@@KD400_ What's the silliest thing that you noted??
@gowtham7231 dude I'm in India currently. The men are happy being in charge and the women are happy staying in their own lane. Patriarchy is what built civilisation without it we wouldn't be this advanced
The 1st rule of the patriarchy, is don't talk about the patriarchy. Some men deny it even exists, & some deny that they have any privilege. Conveniently, blaming women for the unrealistic unachievable standards that a patriarchal society expects from them. It's why men invented religion, to maintain power & control.
How do we urgently speed up evolution?
How many women you know, are breadwiners for their men and children? How many women you know, pay alimony to fathers with children?
How many women are drafted now to army, and how do they perform? Do they fulfill the same standards as men or are the standards separate? 🤔
@@Wargulpartalthe only answer to that question that would make you happy would be none. The better question is why are you comparing yourself to women. Who you guys have said over and over again they are beneath you.
@@herelookinatu The feminist try to play victimhood Olympics and establish themselves as an ultimate victors of that game, making their perceived victimhood the token highest moral highground. I found this tactic dishonest and lacks nuance, if not any remote grasp of reality.
Feminism is a supremacy movement targeting its hate and grievence at all men (hence "patriarchy"), making them a favorite scapegoat for all evil of the world and all women failings, ignoring fact that men provided all civilized goods, prosperity and safety, and all of it thanks to traditional male talents and virtues condemn by feminist as "toxic".
It's beyond unfair, dishonest, injust, counterproductictive and dare I say suicidal on global scale.
For leftists diversity is only skin deep, as if people born the same amd must behave the same way always. Equity and sameness, being the leftists fetish called "egalitarism", require limit of individual action and choice to even try pull this of. Need establisment of socialism. But socialism is a bedrock of totalitarism and tyranny. Socialism promising free stuff, guaranteed access to wares and services, conveniently omitts in its propaganda the necessessity of slavery providing those goods, which leftist call "rights".
It never will stop being true to say, those who trade freedom for safety, will not be free nor safe. But the women, being solipsystic as they are, they give in the temptation for promised safety. This is what Adam and Eve parable told about: subjective morality, magical thinking, gnosticism...
Evil can't create new things, only steal and corrupt what is created by good. So does all the good fruits of patriarchy being spoiled by feminism in the name of "inclusivity" and "tolerance", which are codenames for mediocrity, envy and grievance.
I know many many women who are breadwinners. Men pay alimony because men still are better rewarded by society and women are still expected to stay home with the kids. There is no draft. Women are not the warriors. Men are. Because men are the ones that start the evil wars. If women were in charge, there would be no wars. There you go. A little logic goes a long way.@@Wargulpartal
@@herelookinatuwhy is he comparing himself to women? Umm because that's the loosely discussed topic here? Lol. What he says is true. As a matter of fact women have more privileges than men. And to be honest "patriarchy" has giving you the platform to speak against it whether you wanna believe that or not. Patriarchy has built the world around you. You benefit from "patriarchy". It is what it is.
I am a very self-aware woman and yes, I have spent my life fighting against this patriarchal system, along with many other women. I am a writer now and will change the world of patriarchy in my stories. Thanks for a great introduction to patriarchy Alexander 🍎
Also I can understand your friend wanting to protect his son from the poisonous kick backs in this patriarchal society. It takes a lot of talking as our children grow up, and constant awareness, and open communication. A challenging task. Not passing it on is probably the best task of parenthood.
Oh! That's incredible! I love writers who write with narratives that revolve around subverting patriarchal tropes!
I would love to read some of your works! ❤
thank you fellow woman, i'm also a writer. and have been a feminist since childhood :)
@@BL-sd2qw Thank you ❤
@@MichelleSmith-gt1py Thank You ❤
Thank you so much for breaking this down for those that pretend it doesn't exist or that they don't understand what women are talking about.
It doesn't though, most men are
not benefitting & suffer the same
if not worse then women.
Women have been lied too
& men are trying to wake
Them up.
I appreciate you talking about this, but you didn't really get down to the root. There are some very interesting feminist books that discuss this, but it very obviously has to do with reproduction and reproductive power over women (as well as their sexuality- the two go hand in hand). E.g. men try to exert extreme dominance over women to ensure that women only bear their children (even though 1 in 25 fathers, as of today, still has, unbeknownst to them children that are not theirs). It's interesting to me that you made the definition of patriarchy all about men, even though patriarchy is more like an obsession with women and the control men long to have over them. Toxic masculinity is a way for men to enforce other men to control women.
Lions kill cubs that aren’t theirs. What you describe of men’s behavior sounds tame by comparison; and just as rational. I can see why women don’t like it, but I also see why men do it… but if things are really as you say, it is merely a power struggle: in which case there is little incentive for men to enable female ‘freedom’, and (more crucially) no moral ground from which women can demand it either. Just war.
Men are also afraid of women. Deep down they know that women have a power and a connection to the life force and its nurturing, creative forces. Not that men would ever want to understand it or have it themselves because control, violence and destruction are their own superpowers and are much more fun and interesting to them. Sorry but this is just how primitive the things we're discussing are.
This subject has many roots another one I feel is the inability of men to produce life and this is why they created a male god. Religion is the foundation to which patriarchy justifies its rule.
Toxic masculinity isn't real. Your word salad is ridiculous.
Could you give me some titles, maybe? I'd like to read more about that
I don't think men will ever give up Patriarchy willingly. It will happen as time goes on as women are getting better educated and self supportive. It will morph into a much more equal relationship as time goes on. Men will have to learn to identify as men without putting women in a degraded place. They will no longer use that to feel bigger or better about themselves.
From my cold, dead hands.
As a man I agree men won't cause
it's the world's greatest achievement
tell me, if women ruled would it be
any better?? I don't think so.
Most men love & care for women
that love & care for them, men
are great people who will die
for you, build you a whole city
& go to great lengths to do
great things sad you cannot
see that.
@@elongatedmanforever1252
>"Most men love & care..."
>"Men are great people"
Decide on which it is first. Most or all? Bc generalizations for each gender are foolish. It's not all of them.
@@rockinrollin8306
Men typically subconsciously and some purposefully will only hear a mans perspective. Its ingrained through generations of fathers, " head of households" it seems. I know many times Ive given a point of view or a solution to a man and they brush it off to only have another male come say the same thing and its now a good idea.
It's all about narcissism. Power and control through manipulation.
Patriarchy is also related to not dividing the family estate and property. The first born got it all in old times.
Nowadays, most narcissistic men are the ones who hate feminism the most and they are usually right wing, fascists or incels. They don't want to lose their privileges.
Narcissism in women often takes form of borderline (women are diagnosed more often than men with this form). In other words: it is dihonest to contribute narcissism/toxicity with only one gender.
@@Wargulpartalborderline personality disorder is not narcissistic personality disorder.
@@melm295 Yes, it does, just diffrent form. Grandiose narcissism belong to cluster B personality disorders with histrionic and borderline. Grandiose form is mostly diagnosed in men, borderline form in women, both sexes can manifest both forms. According to dsm.
Firstborn son got the lagacy in past, because, there was no contraception and paternity tests before.
It is more propable, that firstborn son is biological of husband. Men want taking care of their biological offspring before anyone else. If women thinks it should not be the case, let me propose an offer:
Let your newborn child be separated fromyou after birth, and accept the child of stranger for adoption. If you don't accept that offer, then stop calling patriarcjal men "toxic" and "narcissistic".
@@Wargulpartal I have it. We can exhibit narcissistic traits but for diff reasons than narcs. We are very aware of our self hatred. Narcs are not.
I find that women tend to uphold patriarchy. The system wouldn't work if women didn't support it. Once women as a collective challenge it, then things will change.
It needs time to find the balance. You can't change the world from one day to the other as it hadn't changed out of the sudden before. It is a process. I don't support patriarchy for example, but I am one of billions.
I agree with this. Some (not all) woment buy right into the idea that women should have a secondary role to men. This is especially prevalent in religious communities. We have met the enemy and it is us.
Religion has been a huge part of this continued issue.
Some women are even more diehard supporters of patriarchy than the general men. As women they tend to actually be able to recognize the existence of the system, while some men can’t even see the injustices for they aren’t the ones who face the constant suppression (I’m still seeing men being confused and frustrated about this “feminism thing” that seems in their eyes come into existence for no good reasons-because they simply can’t see what is the problem).
The women who defend patriarchy could be straight up cruel to other women who aren’t willing to submit to the system. They’re more like knowing compliance compared to men who are most likely proud ignorant (either intentionally or unintentionally)
Women generally are too busy dragging each other down.
Always appreciate when I see a man who’s done/doing the work of unpacking patriarchy, and teaching other men about it too. Thank you. As a woman, I’ve had patriarchy mansplained to me by patriarchal man (I prefer to say that rather than toxic) and it’s maddening that they can’t see it and deny it even exists sometimes ! Hopefully in generations to come things will improve but so many get indoctrinated fully without their knowledge. Cultlike. But it lives and breathes in all of us unless we unpack it.
What exactly is wrong with
patriarchy?? it's made society
great & gave women equal rights
and advanced technology, built
Housing and better living conditions
are you saying all that is bad??
@@hallofmirrorsnetwork
Mansplaining oof you're one
Of those f-menists dear Lord
I feel bad for any man that
is near you, I feel ashamed
For you.
The more I learn about patriarchy the more I realize how based it is. I have no interest in rubbing elbows with those that are inferior to me.
@@Leonhart_93
Bruh the patriarchy was meant
To be about love & protection
Not calling anyone "inferior"
don't project that on others
Cause misandrist women think
men as such, don't lower yourself
to their level.
@@Leonhart_93
That attitude only makes you as
bad as the sexist women in these
Comment sections, the patriarchy
was never a tool for oppression
it was something women & men
made, to survive.
It’s so sad for me as a woman. I’ve been sexually assaulted many times by those kind of men. It really hurt me and I still struggle and have to work on myself REALLY HARD because of it. But to be fair, I’m glad to be a woman. We (most of us) don’t look at people as less human, we’re empathetic and we’re able to show emotions, which is very human🙂 and yet, we’re looked at as less human. How crazy is that? 😉
( By most of us) you mean
women right?? I hate to
disappoint you but you're
defintley wrong, also I'm
sorry you had that happen
to you those people that
did that to you aren't men
they are bad people from
a fallen state.
I disagree women are not
looked at as "lower humans"
that's a lie, men most
defintley did see women
as that & put their lives
on the line for women
that indeed is seeing
People as human.
How are you seen as less than human""?? where is the evidence
?? both genders have that behavior
not just men.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 Hi there and thank you. Yes, I said most of us (women). It’s definitely both genders but unfortunately a lot of unhealed men treat women as „something” they can touch, comment on, catcall… and then women start seeing themselves as those objects as well. Just look what’s going on online, look at social media like Instagram or TikTok, look at porn. I think it’s very sad. And I didn’t say that all men are bad. I have a partner who is a great man. But I still struggle with how I see myself and I work very hard on it because of how unhealed men treated me in past. Also strangers. If you’re a good man, please don’t take to yourself what I said above.
@@pattataj
It's not only men that act that way
Yes some do, but women do this
as well me & people closest to
Me were both treated bad by
some women who couldn't
Keep their hands to themselves.
For thousands of years (basically all of “civilization”) there has been an implicit social contract, which is patriarchy. “If you respect your place in the (male) hierarchy, obey your betters, show up ready to fight when called up to war then you are entitled to a free slave (wife)”. Sometimes you even get paid (dowry) to take this slave. You can treat this property however you see fit (including murder and torture). If you (men) keep up your part, we (male led society) will enforce this bargain on women by legally restricting them, to such a degree that they cannot survive without being owned by a man.
This social contract has been torn up, in most of the west in the last 50 years. In response some men are angry and behaving violently, and women (finally realizing they are free and can flourish without an owner) are opting out of interacting with those angry, violent men. Which makes this subset of men more violent.
Exactly this! They are livid that women have rights too.
@@SC-sn3xs
No they are not, men
fought for that to happen
cause most love women
and care for them.
@@dharma6481
Everything you said I believe is
False, men loved women also
did women not have power too??
you act as if all women were just
victims & every man is a Boogeyman
that just oppressed them for no
Reason then "power or control"
It's completely 1-sided and
viewing men as pure evil
men were oppressed as
Well.
@@SC-sn3xs
You guys are livid that men did
great things so you act as if
they do nothing good that
is oppressive is it not??
@@dharma6481
"These subset of men" live in
You're head they are caricatures
and you do not understand why
things happened in the past both
Genders cooperated, you act as
if no man did anything good and
as if all women are victims & had
No power, so there were no queens
or mothers with influence everything
You're saying is just incorrect.
My ex was like this. Very abusive, controlling, thought very low of women and if he had a female manager he would end up getting fired because he couldnt handle them telling him what to do. He said women were stupid etc. He grew up watching his mother belittle his dad and i remember him saying he never wanted to be spinless like him. Everyone thinks he is wonderful on the outside.
I have certainly seen this in the workplace too, as a female manager ive even had hand written notes telling me i cant tell them what to do... so disempowered. Its damaging to everyone. If there are ways to help everyone in this cycle, that would be great
They have to become aware that they have a “problem”. The problem is they see no reason to change for the better.
So a man who endured buse from women with power in his formative years has trouble with women with power over him? Or trouble with similar toxic feminism?
Just for clarification.
@I-md6mq he did have abuse from his childhood but that isn't an excuse to abuse others and it doesnt mean the females he then abuses as a result deserve it. Everyone is responsible, male and female, for healing themselves so they don't project their pain and biases of the other sex, onto others. For example he also was abusive to his daughter and me. It says that he has an issue with women generally from that unhealed part of him.I hope that helps
@@AngCJ-18444
You wouldn't be saying
That if his genders were
flipped sadly, a lot of
people defend women
when they act a certain
way.
So he's the bad guy in you're eyes??
I think he's just adopted his mother's
badness, you become who you
hate, I don't think he has a "low
view of women" whatever that
means he's just become his
mom & his dad.
I didnt hear a more sensible and coherent explanation about masculinity, patriarchy, and femininity (even if its a little bit) until now. Thank you. I think i need to listen to the video again to sement this im my brain
This is a gem of a video, and should be shown in classes all over america.
Hell no
@@elongatedmanforever1252 then why are you even here
Patriarchy is entitlement to physical existence and needs of security, food and sex. Some forms of patriarchy are politics, democracy, religion, white supremacy, tribalism, capitalism, colonialism, Freemasonry, slavery and imperialism. Patriarchy controls labs, science, research, technology, society, economics and psychologically manifests as Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, Psycopathy and Narcissism. If you don't submit to their interpretation and organization of truth, like university degrees, they disqualify you for life and personal creativity. Patriarchy is when men live by their Suprachaismatic nucleus and amygdala brains of violent regulation of physical satisfaction.
Wow
"BINGO"! "BRAVO"!
I could not have said it better!
Thank you for this excellent post! Your wisdom is greatly appreciated!
Men working together for effective protective and aggressive violence benefited the whole community. That did come at the ecpense of women and some men. This presentation appropriates women's grievances in the service of beta makes. This is not about empowering women but yo unseat dominant makes and take their place.
@@inetstrydom8787 yeah, it benefitted white people against innocent Afrikans. That's why Pope Nicolas V sanctioned slavery and colonialism. Toxic Patriarchal Masculinity, Narcissism.
There is some pretty staunch male black power on women too, there are also black free masons you know?!!
Biggest thing is for us females of all color, were the first slaves and traded as livestock. Raped and pillaged, burned at stakes. We need to pull together, no matter our color of skin, it's only an organ to protect our bodies. But our hearts and spirits for thousands of generations have been under a type of dominion that needs to end, for males to grow and their spirits be changed, we too must be open to fostering those trying to develop and rewire. Of course with boundaries.
It's amazing to get this informed video from a man. You are doing great job here!!
Just the fact he would be listened to because he is male is another form of patriarchy.
Patriarchy...Hence, why the world is in the condition it's in now. 💔
Patriarchy - the one size fits all scape goat
Current civilization - Would never have been created without the "patriarchy" seeking to create easier ways of life for women and children.
@@joshiek7839
What they don't talk about is
how this so called patriarchy saved
the world & evolved it, it saved
lives.
Even when guys are great they still show signs of internalized misogyny
@@BharaniBharani-wf5wd misandry is a reaction to misogyny
@@BharaniBharani-wf5wd well aren’t you the sicko
Typical feminist response. Women can never do wrong in your eyes because you're so brainwashed. You can't accept the fact that men and women are not supposed to be equal. You probably don't even identify as a woman anyway. Some kind of "non binary... insert, insert insert" type of thing the lgbtqwysdtam community got you to believe.
So even when they are good they
are still bad to you?? yeah with
that attitude men won't want
to improve give them some
Credit.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 stop being defensive.
I like when you said that the more you're aware of this patriarchal system depends on your place in the system. Your unbiased view is refreshing. Thank you.
What's wrong with the patriarchy??
Hey Alexander! Where are you sourcing/citing your information from? It would be super cool if you could provide some information/links! Great video! Thank you for providing it in such a digestible and open-minded manner!
Thank you, for addressing this subject.
I bet your longest relationship and the man you will always have in your mind is a toxic masculine man
This is absolutely great!
Great video !!!! This is the kind of content I pay my I internet bills for.
Wow. As a girl who always knew she was getting the short end, all I can say is wow. Thank you for telling me that was self awareness. It's been very painful but I stole their knowledge so good for me!🎉
@@patludwig1971
Don't believe this guy he's not
Talking about the complexities
Of the past.
Yes, I have. And I am on a tight rope, the seeing men as dangerous. I thought before I shift my mindset to stay safe, I am going to learn about it first before I make my mind up. This will be part of my healing to learn WHY because I'm starting to blame myself.
I appreciate this content so much, thank you!
THANKS FOR SPEAKING TRUTH! I hope you can inspire a lot of men and people in general with this.
Also another thing is thinking for yourself opening your mind, and taking responsibility for your own life. Don't let these people think for you.
Acting like a victim will only affect your own life negatively. It's like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Everyone is brainwashed so the first step is to acknowledge it and detach from it.
If you look outside and see reality you will see that this guy is putting words in the mouth of the people on that side. Everything he is saying I can confirm this is nothing we think of. I know because I'm a man. I see the side of men aswell do the same thing the algorithm feeds you what you want to hear not what is actual. Even if it was it still wouldn't be reality. Bless your hearts.
This was incredibly insightful. I enjoyed listening to every word and ready to go to the next video of this topic. Thank you!
Dr Carol Gilligan and Naomi Snider's research around why this is still going on, because humans are wired to resist infection, something damaging. They have TH-cam videos and interviews around their findings and book "Why Does Patriarchy Persist?" . I am so glad this is being discussed by men, now too. Thank you for your courage and leadership...as Dr. Jackson Katz has pointed out in his work. The importance of pointing out patriarchy, the bystander approach.
Even though there are more and more prominent women in films, they still portray strong women through the lens of patriarchy. That’s not good either. Being emotional is still seen as weakness.
hmm if a "strong female character" is basically only the one that takes on masculine characteristics doesn't that mean that there's no other way for women to be strong?
The patriarchy is made up bs
it's not real, it's a myth created
by activists.
@@cunjoz
Feminists love these characters
Though, every time men criticize
It they are called "sexists".
Bruh patriarchy is just a catch all
term, it can mean anything that
People feel like, it's extremely
inconsistent.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 just like sigma, alpha or anything like that is, concepts disproven by science, yet so many men swear on it. It's just astrology with a primarily male following, a power fantasy promising greatness and superiority.
I have another experience of patriarchy and masculinity: my grandfather was born in a small italian village and started working as he was 12 and retired at 65. He was working in a factory but every morning he was waking up at 4 since he had to take care of his animals ( chickens, rabbits, turkeys , geese,pidgeons) and his relativly small field where he cultivated potatoes, wheat, grapes , olive trees etc.after work he used to spend a couple of hours in the field and whith his animals again. When he retired he started working no stop in his fields,even on sunday managing to increase their yields exponentially. My grandmother was taking care of the house . She was coocking and cleaning. My grandfather never raised his voice against her. He used to call her " my Queen" and he treated her as such.She was yelling at him all the times. He never screamed back. Not a single time.My father started working at 14 and managed to have a good career. He was working no stop. My mother was an housewife and took care of my father and of their children quite well. My father never raised his voice against my mother. He always showed the utmost respect towards her and other women.She was constantly yelling at him even if she loved him.He never complained. This is the experience I have with patriarchy. I never raised my voice against a woman, I never hurt one. A couple of times I risked my life to protect women I did not even know. I just did what my father and my granfather would have done in the same circumstances. This is my experience of patriarchy and masculinity. I tried to follow the example of my father and grandfather: I worked hard and I got married because I was in love. My ex wife was quite successful as well even if I earned 5 times more than her. She wanted a villa with swimming pool. I bought her one. She wanted to go out and eat in expensive reastaurants almost every evening. I did it. She wanted exotic vacations. I took care of that. I did her foot massage every single night, even when I was completely exhausted from work. I never raised my voice against her, I never criticised her. In exchange she was constantly insulting and yelling at me. When she started cheating on me I divorced whitout even blaming her. I took the entire responsibility of our failure as a couple.I am still an old fashioned gentleman, and I am thankfull to my humble but strong father and and grandfather because they showed me by example how to be a man and how to respect women. Even when they do not respect you.
@@dainagrn7030 you are right, totally right. But I was ( and partially still I am ) deeply influenced by the experiences I had in my family. For me being a man meant to be strong , protective and responsible. Even if my ( russian ) wife was abusing me I wrongly assumed that she had just a bad temper and that I was strong enough to stand her. Eventually when I was divorcing her she was chasing me and she told me " I love you because you have the balls to leave me ". I always had balls, but she did not notice them since I was kind and patient with her. Now I am happily divorced, I take good care of my kids and have a good life. My bad experience with my ex wife did not impact on my behavior vis a vis other women. I still behave as a gentleman, in every circumstances. But I will never be abused again. And you are right, many Italians of my generation are extremely kind with their women. Sometimes too much.
@DiogenesNephew my father and grandfather were highly respected by their community. My grandfather fought 5 years first in the italian army in Russia and in the Balkans, then as a freedom fighter against the Germans. My father started working when he was 14 and became later a successful manager.They both could not care less about women rants and antics, they just ignored them. Arguing with them was considered as arguing with a 3 years old child: a waste of time.They let them rule in the domestic space, but they obviously took all the important decisions.This model is obsolete of course, but it worked well for women, who were always protected, and satisfied since they felt important at home, and for men, who were basically living outside for working and other activities and came back home just for dinner. Men and women were living parallel lives, with little or not interference in the respective spaces. This was patriarchy in Italy and in other mediterranean countries. Each gender had a specific role in society, but there was no widespread gender violence since hitting a woman was considered a dishonorable act.
@DiogenesNephew indeed. I just wanted to show that the patriarchal society in Italy was quite protective of women. The division of roles was very strict : women stayed home and men were living outside for work and other activities. But domestic violence was rare because hitting a women was considered a dishonorable act. Paradoxically, men were quite linient with their wives as long as they accepted their role, and could not care less about their antics. They just ignored them. Once I asked my grandfather why was si standing my grandma's rants. He answered that arguing with a woman is like arguing with a 3 years old child. A waste of time.
If you go door to door in our nation and talk to citizens about domestic violence, almost everyone will insist that they do not support male violence against women, that they believe it to be morally and ethically wrong. However, if you then explain that we cannot end male violence against women by challenging patriarchy, and that means no longer accepting the notion that men should have more rights and privileges than women because of biological difference or that men should have the power to rule over women, that is when the agreement stops. There is a gap between the values they claim to hold and their willingness to do the work of connecting thought and action, theory and practice to realize these values and thus create a more just society.”
― bell hooks, All About Love: New Visions
@@rwalters5803 nice quote. But it does'nt explain why Italy, Greece and Poland, which are quite traditionalist, patriarchal countries, have a femicide rate much lower than in the UK , in Germany and in the Scandinavian countries. The official statistical data are available online and they speak for themselves: obviously correlation is not causation but the only conclusion we can draw is that in more socially advanced european countries , where the gender equality is almost reached, more women are killed by men than in backwards european countries.
What a refreshing perspective! I agree and I see from this perspective as well.
From 20:37 to 20:58, it says it all! 👏
..
I have a question, please @21:00
Please address to us where in the Qura'n it's stated that women should serve men!
Thank you
This is a great video! Very interesting and informative.
Thank you so much for this video, is it so clear, thank you again
I agree with some of your points, but I don’t understand why you keep making reference to trans people. Trans are an extremely powerful group, who have the authority to direct policy, legislation, and even language. This is pertinent to biological adult males, who identify as women. That is a perfect definition of toxic masculinity, yet you continue to describe them as weaker members of society.
Yes! It’s queer “patriarchy.” I commented on that too! I thought I was the only one who noticed about it.
These kinds of “men” wanted to take the role of women as an escapism to be a real man. That’s so wrong 😭
Well done. I’m sending this to my male friends.
Thanks Alexander- A really interesting summary of something we all know, but seldom analyse.
As a lady: thank you
As a man I got to ask why
Do you believe this stuff??
Love your babies they do return love got nothing do with privilege being mom wouldn’t be here unless birthed meant be loved not mistreated
Oh my gosh :( I just made a post on my local Reddit about two men trying to grope and hug me on my morning walk and random
Men doing nothing and even giving him money afterwards and I mostly got discrediting comments calling me crazy or giving props to these men
Are you telling the truth??
cause people can lie about this stuff.
What a load of bullshit
I like that you are talking about this topic and defining it so clearly. I find that it’s rare for feminist thinkers to actually define these terms in any clear way. I appreciate your intellectual honesty in doing so. In my experience most feminists define patriarchy as “anything I don’t like about how my culture does gender.” So this is a relief.
I agreed with most of the body of what you said, however I disagree with almost all your underlying assumptions. I think you came to some good conclusions starting from some incorrect places.
Let me explain:
First, I’m going to accept your definition of the toxically masculine patriarch:
Ranking men as dominant over women, and strong men over week men
Successful (i.e. competent).
Emotionless (stoic)
Inexpressive
Sexually aggressive
Attacks those who are different
Untethered aggression
Using morality as a manipulative tool
Tribalistic
Now I’m not an anthropologist. But I am a psychotherapist, and one of the techniques that I use when I see a pathological behavior is to refrain from judging that behavior, but to instead become curious about how that behavior is adaptive. So let’s ask ourselves, under what circumstances is this list of traits adaptive. Under what circumstances would this expression of masculinity be helpful to get a man through his life and to help to establish his status and wellbeing in his community?
You describe these behaviors as “weird.” They are NOT weird. WE are weird. We are: “Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich and Democratic.” In MOST of human history, indeed in most of western history, we lived in tribal and clan based relationships. In these societies, the men (i.e. the disposable members of society) needed to band together, form dominant hierarchies and go to war to protect the women and children (the essential members of society) from the neighboring tribes. This arrangement ended when we evolved the social technology known as the state. State systems outsource violence and protection from the tribe to the bureaucracy of the state system (a.k.a the police force). The status and sexual access of what you call patriarchy is the bribe that men were paid in order to have them be willing to sacrifice their bodies and comforts to protect the tribe. Women and children respected men and looked up to them because they were the ones who took the risks and made the sacrifices to protect the society as a whole. Women preferentially chose men who were good at this. MANY women still do preferentially choose men based on these traits. So female sexual preference is also an incentive in this process.
Another consequence of this was that people with psychopathic tendencies often rose to positions of prominence because they were the ones who asserted their dominance the best and who were the best killers. Much as successful psychopaths become CEO’s today (read the book snakes in suits).
Now you may think that we have grown beyond this sort of thing, but that is only true locally. There are still lots of places in the world where what you characterize as patriarchal “toxic masculinity” is still very adaptive to the local social environment. In addition, cultures change over time, and what may be “toxic” today may be highly sought after tomorrow if the police aren’t there to help you protect yourself, having an effective tribal warlord is the next best thing.
So, again, thank you for being clear in your approach. I think it might be helpful for you to consider how these qualities in a man are valuable and not be so quick to throw the baby out with the bath water. For more on this topic I would encourage you to check out some books on the subject such as “why men are the way they are” by Warren Farrell.
Patriarchal belief is not a pathology. It is a part of the the cultural tool kit that our for fathers have passed on to us. It's both good and bad. But then, so is feminism.
Be well.
14:20 What TV were you watching though? Every male figure on TV I saw was kind and did his best to help people:
Hardcastle and McCormick
Katts and Dog
Columbo
MacGyver
The Incredible Hulk (when he wasn't hulking out - which was always thought of as a bad thing)
Frickin Fred Flinstone
Don Johnson in Miami Vice
Inspector Wexford in Ruth Rendell Mysteries
Dr. Who
I could go on. You're describing the villains in all those TV series. You've got it backwards, sir.
This is the beter Butler, making sense. Thank you for tackling this subject as a man!
As a therapist who specializes in men's psychology, I find that any therapist/psychologist that uses the term "toxic masculinity" is practicing unethically because "toxic masculinity" comes with preconceived negative attitudes against men and masculinity. It's also harmful to young men. Instead of calling masculinity toxic, it's better to talk about healthy versus unhealthy behaviors.
Exactly
этот термин "токсичная мужественность" предвзят только с точки зрения патриархальных взглядов. однако вы правы, термин неэтичен, т.к касается индивида клиента которого вы терапевтируете.
@@cannabis__000
It's a sexist concept, like there's
Something wrong with being
masculine?? Why is there not
a word called toxic feminity??
Toxic masculinity is sexist towards
Men, masculinity in no way is toxic.
Masculinity in itself isn't toxic. Toxic masculinity is. The controling and demanding, not nurturing, protecting and empathetic kind. The one that needs to put women down to feel masculine - not work with them, love them, or just accept them as equals.
The masculinity of a mob boss is different from that of a loving family father. Both are masculinity. But one of them is harmful. The other is a creating and nurturing force. That's just the truth.
If people were more educated, they'd know people who criticise toxic masculinity Don't criticise masculinity in general. Wrong words are being put into feminist's mouth. That's what radicalizes young men.
IMO, it began when there was a "great divergence" in adaptation as we developed higher emotions. Some were not capable of making the leap.
I see the video failed to mention that patriarchy tells that men are responsible and supposed to put the needs of others above his own, that mens lives are less worth than females so he isso expected to sacrifice his life and posessions to the benefit of women, that he is not supposed to hit back when assaulted by a woman and that he is not worthy of empaty nor has the right to express emotions because of another point the video forgets to mention is that the ranking of men are mostly done by the sexual preferences of the women. If you look at the characteristics for ranking the video lays out, these are the exactely same characteristics that makes men more sexually desirable. Success power money agressiveness body strenghth (specially height) assertiveness and being basically full of themselves is what women rank men in dating, and all the stats supports that, men without those traits know they are lower in the hierarchy because women make sure to show them that they simply are not desirable, and basically dont exist as a man. So maybe all this talk about taking down the patriarchy should start to talk about how they will make women feel sexually attracted to short depressed fat men that make less money then them, are agreeable to the point they say amen to all women say and just stay home taking care of the kids while she provides for him, because without breaking down this hierarchical structure mosltly imposed by the mating selection of women, i don´t see something good comming out of this anti masculinity crusade.
Exactly.
That's why as a man I am against patriarchy but I am not a feminist.
They are really blaming it all on men when men suffer equally if not less.
Amazing 👏 😊 🙏 thank youuuuu
I thought TH-cam wasn't pushing conspiracy theories like this?
Cant keep using smoke and mirrors to hide the truth
Evolution....is such a sloooooowwwwwww prooosessssssssss.....I want to press the fast forward button!!!!!!
No, just no. There are no absolutes. Should really stop saying everyone and all. Can only be a 100% sure that you cannot be 100% sure of anything. But i am 110% certain you’re 100% wrong about everything you said. Congrats.
Which part is wrong? Can you pls elaborate further?
Who's going to protect your country from the invaders, coach?
Really? Mysagony - violence towards women is ok because men go to war?? It is like saying I can take your wallet just because my hair is brown! Huh....
yes
If "true man" are SO successful, SO strong, SO indipendant, why they need to be provided by someone "weak" like whining boys, thats doe's not make sense.
There's no such thing as "toxic masculinity". There is simply, "toxicity".
True. But 'toxic masculinity' tends to be more destructive as a general rule compare to 'toxic feminity'. Is it surprising that it tends to concern people more?
@@Billpro25You just contradicted yourself.
"True, but..."
@@Billpro25 That may have been true in the past, but if you look around at what’s happening now, that’s quickly changing.
10:47 Are you just describing a cartoon villain? This could be Lex Luthor or KingPin or the Austin Powers guy? This is not the ideal patriarch and everyone knows that.
This dude is an absolute ninny wit
Toxic masculinity doesn't exist . When he began saying " my definition of Toxic masculinity" He already lost credibility. The wokeness is strong with this one.
главное ничем не подкреплять свои слова, токсичной маскулинности нет и все, просто потому что ты так сказал. банально и не интеллектуально, твои слова не ценнее воздуха в таком случае, братишка, хехехе, это реально выглядело неубедительно, ты вообще анализируешь слова и как они будут выглядеть прежде чем их сказать? тухло,чел, тухло
@@cannabis__000
No it's because it doesn't
Exist & makes it that it
Isn't men as individuals
Making good or bad decisions
It's treating them as a monolith.
It's a sexist term used against men
to shame & blame them for everything.
The moment when you cancel someone because it doesn't buy into your ideology. Oh the irony.
ur dumb
omg i cant believe that this was real. Totally thought this was going to be satire. Kudos to this guy for doing it, I personally wouldnt be ok with publicly demonstrating my complete lack of testosterone. Nice to see a comment section who thinks who dont or have never had an ounce of agency or important place in society. gross bigots.
веруны в тестостерон как определитель мужственности даже в англо среде их дофига, ниче себе, оказывается по ту сторону океана тупиц просто дофига😁даже как то жалко что имея доступ к науке и публикациям на англ.языке вы не знаете банальных вещей, не стремитесь узнать, и пишете высеры абсолютно не имеющим отношения к обьективности. позор сплошной ахахахха
👏❤🌲 🙏
I can tell you that if I were a movemotional to my woman After a while she will get annoyed End will dump me.... It is not natural for a guy to cry like a woman. Because man and woman are built Differently
Men are one trick ponies: the only emotion they have is anger. They are so emotionally stunted.
But men get annoyed by women crying too. I hear it all the time. Your point is?
When he said “my definition of…..” he lost credibility.
You won't listen to sociologist's definitions of the issue either, so why would it make a difference?
Same people to listen to the alpha/sigma stuff that has been scientifically disproven. The irony is real.
As the timeless Ouroborus would suggest, patriarchy is a tail-end extension of its own matriarchal head, where one can not exist without the other as each follows the other throughout the course of all eternity.
Spiritually speaking (gender aside), matriarchy can begin with an understanding of the cyclical nature of reality (God).
Represented by the snake in many creation myths, the living cycle has a trinity of a beginning (head), a middle and end (tail). As above so below, the sexes were created in the image of God's cyclical nature where Mother is the head and opening to all beginnings and Father holds the tail to all endings (through which the sowing of seeds allow for the next great matriarchal rebirth).The joining of the two (symbolized by the Ouroborus or the marriage ring) is the sacred union needed in assuring the creation and continuation of new life cycles. To speak of the present day God as "Our Father" is simply an admission to our collective positioning within the bigger cycle.
As all mothers have direct experience with the creator quality of birthing, so is the direct experience of rebirthing the divinity within (baptism) belong to that which is spiritually matriarchal. (John 3, verse 3-8).
Sekhmet statues (ancient Egyptian) carry most of their weight in symbolic memory of what was a mother culture dedicated to the direct experience of baptism. As the leg shaped hairlocks extend from maternal breasts to the womb of rebirth, the lioness's head proportions are such that they highlight the bust of a second animal figure. The Lioness's ears as eyes and eyes as nose (nostrils) brings to life the figure of a reptile. 'Neath the halo headress of the solar egg, the lioness's egg fertilization process being internal (Set) and the reptile's egg fertilization process being external (Setting), such being key components to the safety of entering the trans-egoic or "born again" state. The life threatening fear associated with the predatory nature of a lion and/or crocodile encounter are reflective of the intense ego death experiences associated with the transpersonal awakening process.
In spiritually matriarchal times, illumination could be seen as wearing the false beard (ancient Egyptian funerary "ego" death mask) as the high state of cyclical self knowing; high awareness of both our upper matriarchal half and our lower (later) patriarchal half (compared with a mini lower body replica, an "as above so below" tail end beard extension); in full recognition of her civilizational Underworld; her inevitable cyclical destiny. The male pharaoh wears his beard tapered in reverse, indicating a pointing upwards towards the patriarchal head, divine representative of God's tail end cycle.
Mary's anointing and wiping of Jesus's feet with her hair can then be seen as "Head to tail" (toe) imagery as she descends her matriarchal head to his patriarchal feet, thus reenacting the high understanding of the divine cyclical process. (John 12, verse 3)
To carry the Ankh (now the female symbol ♀️) was perhaps to symbolically carry that upper and lower understanding. As the upper matriarchal womb symbolised the fertile birthing of civilization, below, the now Christian cross is carried to place emphasis on the lower (later) "End Times" Father principle of the great cycle.
Lord Ganesha, the elephant headed Hindu diety, displays a cyclical head to trunk symbolism and points to the Mother head of his matriarchal elephant society. Ganesha (like the elephant) wears God's cyclical nature on his face.
A whole temple was dedicated to Hathor (ancient Egyptian diety), who is the matriarchal "Uterus" personified. th-cam.com/video/J0m0zJSEFK0/w-d-xo.html
"See all women as mothers, serve them as your mother. when you see the entire world as the mother, the ego falls away. See everything as Mother and you will know God." - Neem Karoli Baba
"My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother." - Proverbs 6 : 20
The way males and females tend to be has to be evolution continuing to succeed with it in survival. Making differences in society can move evolution to tend to equality and less fear.
Really interesting vid. Can you do one on misandry and matriarchy please?
Some of the feminist groups need to be more balanced in their approach. It is going to take time to unravel and foster men with love and healthy boundaries. ❤️
Nietzsche's philosophy was misused by the N+zis and the term "Übermensch" has nothing to do with such ranking systems of human groups. It rather means that humans must transcend what they are now and become beings devoid of any metaphysical needs which are in Nietzsche's view nihilistic.
This video is toxic
With great privilege comes great responsibility.............
Meaning, most women i know that complain about the "patriarchy" want the privileges that they believe the patriarchy provides to men (power, control, wealth, status, etc), but very few of those women can take an ounce of criticism or responsibility for poorly made choices derived from their decision making, and often look for someone else to blame for their situation or to save them from their situation.
True egalitarianism absolutely requires men and women to act in their own respective strengths and be acknowledged by both for those strengths. And each being accountable equally for decisions and consequences, not by just blasting patriarchy.
You say that like women are excempt of criticism and consecuences when you couldn't be further from the truth. You will be judged, scrutinized and sidelined if you're female. Even women in jails paying higher prices while men get a tap on the wrist for doing far worse. And most women are there for self defense, because of a man.
*typos, not my first language
ur dumb
Bruh nothing this guy is saying is
true, im honestly saddened that
so many women buy into this
narrative, that men universally
oppressed women & hated them
when many men would die for
women & protect them with
their lives, men fought to free
slaves which were women
& men, men wanted to make
the world a better place because
They lived in a society, where
slavery was common as a
person washing their hands
people always talk about how
"women fought for their righs"
but men fought with their lives
& for others to be free, a lot of
that goes unoticed & men are
treated as pure evil supervillains
out to get women at every corner
its insane & sad that men only
get credited when a woman is
mistreated or victimized but a
Man giving up his life or men loving
The women in their lives is ignored
or treated as a "rare occurrence".
How does a woman not fight for her life if she fights for her right to not get assaulted so badly she dies? How does she not fight for her sisters? Her mother, her grandmothers, her daughters?
And how do men who fight for others most of the time not fight for things they themselves started?
@@your_mom_is_my_dad how dafuq did the male slave got involved in his enslavement? That´s utter nonesense!
@@felixklauk4410
If women were actually oppressed
Though wouldn't they all be
Slaves?? Something to think
About??
@@felixklauk4410
Because men would all have power
If patriarchy was real, but that's not
True at all in fact many women had
Power in the past, like being a queen
Or a mother who would influence
Generations.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 Yeah! I was agreeing with you. Maybe I should have worded that better. I also see that some feminists are presenting a version of history where men are portrayed as oppressing women for no reason beyond power or control. This particular narrative oversimplifies complex historical dynamics. It is not only inaccurate in a historical context but also harmful to public discourse, as it unfairly blames men in general. Even though men are the primary targets of this distorted view, I don't see how women stand to benefit from it. Vilifying the opposite sex doesn't seem to solve anything-it just reinforces divisions.
Very true, thank you so much. How tragic that with patriarchy, men can never grow up, mature and become true human beings. The biggest failure of mankind. Glorifying violence, insensitivity oppression and great ignorance.... frankly.... this is where it got us. Great job, wish more men and women awake to toxic masculinity.
"How tragic that with patriarchy, men can never grow up, mature and become true human beings" - If you have a loving father, big brother or other males of that sort around you, you would see that they are loving, and caring human beings. That disproves your view of "patriarchy", doesn´t it?
You do know men did great things
In the past right?? That men fought
To keep women safe?? & Make
The world a better place.
21:11 There definitely is some nasty behavior from men (and there will always be) and it seems you are generalizing a bit too much. The backlash is mostly against being made to think that beingale is a disease that needs treatment. There is a large scale over correction in society and this is erasing the kind of men we all want in society. Now all we have are rudderless men roaming around. I believe those are the people who could sincerely use your help.
I strongly disagree that men and women that want to enforce mysoginistic policies are unaware that they were ingrained with these ideas. They are fully aware, fully believe them. And, in the case of minorities: they do it in spite of it effing themselves over. Because the ideal they uphold is more important than their well being as well as the others that suffer under these ideals.
Calling these people unaware is a disservice, and makes them devoid of responsibility for their actions somehow. They are not toddlers.
I don't believe in the
word "Misoggony" it's vague &
is mostly used to paint
Men as inherently against
women from beginning of
time, like men never treated
women with any respect??
Utter Bs.
Are you talking about Donald Trump?
Mr. Butler is not the guru for you. His knack for over simplification and gross streo typical condemnation is not going to help you in life or having desirable relationships. Follow him out to the leafy glade as he yammers away at your own peril.
The patriarchy is when the Titanic sinks and men go down with the ship while women and children get rescued on the rescue boats.
So they can go and birth more men to uphold their shitty systems 😂
rip
You talk about patriarchy the same way Christians talk about sin. You are a preacher, preaching a false religion. We see through your unsubstantiated claims.
So you believe that men can become women
Masculinity is a virtue. A virtue cannot be toxic. That would be an oxymoron.
😂😂😂 delusional
Hon. masculinity is simply the fact of being a man. No more and no more less. You had nothing to do with that accident of birth. How could that be a virtue? That's an oxymoron. And this is moronic.
Look at definitions of virtue and morals. Masculinity is not a virtue or a moral. Morals don't change. The use of masculinity certainly can be toxic, just as Feminity can be.
@fup723 "Masculinity bad. There are no distinctions between genders and everything is nothing."
You will continue to push away rationality by refusing to operate from at least an acknowledgement of basic realities.
Your premise that masculinity is a virtue is wrong. The masculinity most women experience is negative.
Woke culture began
actually wokeness is the opposite of feminism.
The word woke talks about being aware of the importance of civil rights in regard to racial equity. Use of the word on any other context is incorrect (which I think we know but choose to ignore).
Your automated reaction is boring af.
intersectional feminism is wokeness@@BeforeWarTheBook
Agreed. But feminism itself is not. It’s very simply the idea that women are people and deserve the same opportunities.
@@BeforeWarTheBookoh so you think black women are not equal to fight for our rights? Original white feminists where also RACIST. This world thrived of misogynoir and that time is OVER.
Patriarchy is the natural law of human civilization. Its just the day it is, im sorry if it makes you mad.
спекуляция тупая
Yup. This is exactly what Israel has been doing to Palestine.
What is the final solution to the straight white male question?
Stop judging people by their
Racial, gender characteristics
& Treat people as equal morally.
@thehighpoweredpodcast
For thousands of years (basically all of “civilization”) there has been an implicit social contract, which is patriarchy. “If you respect your place in the (male) hierarchy, obey your betters, show up ready to fight when called up to war then you are entitled to a free slave (wife)”. Sometimes you even get paid (dowry) to take this slave. You can treat this property however you see fit (including murder and torture). If you (men) keep up your part, we (male led society) will enforce this bargain on women by legally restricting them, to such a degree that they cannot survive without being owned by a man.
This social contract has been torn up, in most of the west in the last 50 years. In response some men are angry and behaving violently, and women (finally realizing they are free and can flourish without an owner) are opting out of interacting with those angry, violent men. Which makes this subset of men more violent.
Most women crave this dynamic. They’ve been “free” for 50 years and absolutely miserable because they are directionless. They need patriarchal structure to gain purpose and safety.
Very elloquently put; succinct and crystal clear. 👏
@@ivocorte1580
Wrong.
@@dharma6481
You're whole comment is just
Wrong & misandrist, you aware
Most men were restricted too??
you act as if all women had no
Rights or freedoms and that's
Not even true & you're acting
Like men are just bad and just
want to be over women but
Why though just because they
are men??
@@dharma6481
Dude you're vilifying men & not
Trying to understand them, men
Had restrictions just like women
did, women had control over others
in cases too & thought patriarchy
was good, you're removing the nuance
Of history & just say men bad just
Because.