Here’s a few thoughts… (from a 63 year old man). Set aside gender. Practice being a good human. Let go of the need to dominate. Let go of the negative connotations of being a man. We are here for a short visit. Practice harm free living. Embrace love of life and all things living. Turn away from influencers, following any influencer/ guru too close will create a copy at best. Develop a practice of turning off the outside noise to hear what comes from within. Discover what sparks for you. Bring it to life and live passionately. Do not believe all of the nonsense that is being pushed at you from all directions. We all have the equal right to live in peace. It is up to each of us, (humans), to take responsibility for our actions and create a reality worth living.
“Most men aren’t CEOs. Most men aren’t wealthy” Also: most men aren’t toxic, abusive, adulterers, nor living in their parents’ basement. But we hear a LOT about those men.
To be fair, we also hear a lot about sniveling women on Tik Tok who whine about the job they have, the guy they can't find, and pretty much everything else. Most women are not like that but I get your point.
Something not mentioned here: the advent of social media and dating apps have not only changed the social dynamic between men and women but also changed the source of 'fulfillment' for men and women. Many men don't get fulfillment from these platforms and actually feel rejected by them, which has a significant impact on mental health
trust me, women don’t feel fulfilled from dating apps either, they fear for their lives when trying to meet someone. Dating apps helps nobody, it’s just a way for you to spend money
@@quinniebe9775 Thank you for sharing your input. I'm talking about Social media and dating apps, both of which remove the personal aspect of interactions. Thus these things are unfulfilling in general, yet particularly they are unfulfilling for *different* reasons. Lets not assume that by stating an issue for Men that we are discounting the pernicious effect these platforms have on Women.
She has some good points in the issue. But the main driver is social media and online dating. Women are on about 4 different apps so they don’t want to settle with too many options available
As a guy, once I stepped out of the social media/online bubble and my screen time started to regularly be under 2 hours a day, I started to be much more optimistic about the real world. I don't think it's nearly as bad for us men as everyone wants us to think, so let's stop victimizing ourselves and start bettering our lives. Obviously there are definitely some challenges that need to be overcome, but it sure as hell felt a lot worse when I was spending too much time on social media.
Yeah! Turn a blind eye. I should not look at other people's suffering or I might feel bad. Out of sight out of mind. Everything is A-OK because I can't see it.
That’s such a weak white man mentality. Running from the world and cutting out everything that triggers you will make you just more coddled and more scared 🤷 like an antisocial chihuahua
Thank you for pointing out the obvious. Social media algorithms have much more to do with this issue and men's perceptions of being victims in this changing world.
Amazing analysis. Kudos to you for addressing the importance of masculinity for men without bashing women or feminism in the process. I’ve seen women who fall into that trap too.
Honestly it takes some bravery for creators to talk about this because of the backlash they'll no doubt receive. I can only respect her willingness to do it anyway. Gratitude for your care.
The fact that there is a fear of backlash for talking about men's problems shows how bad the problem is regarding society's views of men. Men experience real problems and society needs to acknowledge this and face it.
The root of the problem is economics. Men and boys without agency is a ticking time bomb. In history, organised young men have been the most unstoppable force. We are already seeing a coalescing of interests, politics and resurgent masculine thinking. The current era has bought itself to its own end.
Everyone is in denial of this, particularly women. Truth is, the violence and insanity of young men should not be underestimated. I'm really fearful for the future but no one will listen.
@@icespeaker81I've been saying this too for a while, people are ignoring the coming danger. Already right now, most fighting age men are single, childless and sexually frustrated, it's only a matter of time before these men go insane. Many of the young men are already starting to believe that the only way to restore marriage and family is to restore the patriarchy, that women's empowerment should never have happened. It really is a ticking timebomb.
It's better to not care too much about other's opinions on your masculinity and just focus on your own individual path to happiness. Write the book you want to read, make the music you want to hear, film the movie you want to see. Through those efforts you'll find your community and purpose. Develop a talent. Find a trade. Focus on fitness, finance and faith. The less noise you take in through media, TH-cam included, you'll clear your mind and find peace in yourself. Masculinity has been narrowly defined in recent times due to cultural shifts. It's our turn to make the rules and redefine masculinity on our own terms.
@@JulieAziza like the guy that goes to war and gets his face blown off, kids dying of cancer or the millions of homeless living on the streets getting spit on everyday... yeah a lot of path and purpose there.
Totally agreed. I have been told that I am not very masculine, but who are you to define my masculinity? I have embraced my emotional side and don't feel the need to dominate. I am an integrated man, a modern man if you will. I define my own masculinity. If you think I'm not manly, maybe you just have outdated gender roles in your mind. We should stop holding on to traditional gender roles and let everyone be themselves. Period.
Ehh, you do you follow your “truth” postmodernist masculinity isn’t that much of a solution. Many people don’t even know themselves and there should be some ground or definition to masculinity, even if it isn’t narrowly defined.
We are at a unique point in history where men are villainized for what their stereotype was, and yet are expected to uphold the stereotype. Don't be toxic and controlling (ok cool), but you're still responsible for the financial well being of the family. Be a leader, but don't lead. I'm sure the time will come soon when all the expectations are gone, and the family unit will function together without shame or blame, but we aren't there yet.
''Don't be toxic and controlling (ok cool), but you're still responsible for the financial well being of the family'' what does being toxic and controlling have to do with providing?
Usually you are already in a very financial privileged position if you can effort only one part being the provider. That is not the reality for most people. Having a partner, male or female however, to stay at home is a giant luxury. You need real wealth for that.
I’m pushing 30. I’ve never had a relationship and I’ve spent half my life seriously considering suicide every few months. And yet I have to watch women, who have access to sex, love and empathy just walking out the door tell me how privileged I am as a man. You try living 30 years without so much as a hug. Fuck this society.
That's the truth. Women are so incredibly privileged in the western world they cannot even grasp what MOST men go through, NOT having sex. love, touch or empathy at a moments notice. or at all.
I believe if you shared this perspective with others including women, you'd find out just how much people would identify with you and would want to be around you. not because of pity, but because everyone is searching for this type of genuinity and honesty. You shared it here, share it IRL too.
I think many men prefer solitude than having to deal with the various kind of "noise" in the world. They have not disappeared. They are just by themselves.
People, not just men, need good friends and family. Community that you can be physically there for, much more than something you get online. I believe this is what can fix a lot of people's problems/issues.
As soon as I come of age, it felt like my manhood was something I should feel ashamed about. I love being a man, but yet feel like I should somehow apologise for all of the wrongdoings of bad men from the past. Even the very topic of our struggles with mental illness and suicide are met with a kind of ambivalence and a general lack of empathy. And yet, we are still told we benefit from male privilege at every angle.
This isn't a black and white issue. There are some messed up things men have done over the millennia, and there's some messed up things being said to men who had nothing to do with that stuff in the past. I know one thing for sure, as history shows--you can't go back to what used to be. Time goes in one direction, and so does culture and social order...whether that means a social system has to reorganize and go through tough times, well...that's been shown as something that happens in history, too.
@rikk319 No way, it's quite clear that humans are very primal and the more society advances in comfort, the more they revert to their primal nature. Recent events are proof of this. Men had to be strong and enforce strict societal norms for a reason. Now, the moment they didn't, they aren't expected anymore. And it's all their fault.
I grew up before the internet fully took off and these discussions weren't really around, and what I felt when reaching adulthood was how appalling many men were. I've seen men doing horrible things I don't even want to repeat, and I seen other men simply stand and watch. I've seen it justified with "boys being boys" but that's nonsense. I came to the conclusion that I ought to be more aware of negative traits my gender often succumbs to so that I can either stop them or prevent repeating them myself. It doesn't mean you should be ashamed, just be aware and actually do something about it.
I really like and appreciate this perspective in a world full of voices against men. I am a couples therapist and something my mentor used to tell us in feminism studies was that in order to fight for women's emancipations/rights we do not have to take away men's. That would not be equality. Thank you for this thought-provoking video.
It is, it's kind of a revenge thing in a way. My sister's a feminist and for the last ten years or so she has ended up with guys who treat women like crap / feel they want some form of revenge on women, I said she's getting what she puts out there 😅 Now she doesn't speak to me but it was worth it.
@@RocketPropelledWombat Yeah I'm glad OP found a "feminist" mentor that was actually just an egalitarian, because actual feminist theory revolves around the idea of a power struggle between men and women and is based in Marxism. If people would stop equating feminism, and therefore implicitly Marxism, with equality we'd all be better for it. Feminism is about vengeance on a group of people who did nothing wrong, to call it anything else is to out oneself as delusional.
As a 24 year old guy, the world is so f* up that it looks useless to think about having a family in future. I had to quit my studies just after 10th grade and work to support my family. But my younger sister is a graduate and now aiming for masters. Now where should i complain about my lost teenage life. I'm working a low paying job with lots of debts and still not owning my own house. Everything, just looks faded.
stop taking care of other people and take care of yourself. when you get comfortable you can start selectively helping others be selfish now. focus on YOU and what YOU want.
Awesome video. I hope people don't just click away the moment they see a woman talking about these issues. As a man, I understand the urge to listen only to people who look like me, that's a human instinct. But, I'm really glad I fought that instinct, and I applaud Christine for being an outspoken female on men's issues and men's health today. I think because of that very same human instinct, it is important for women to be part of this conversation in helping create a new 21st century identity for men. It's time to end the idea that one sex must put down the other in order to succeed. Thank you for this incredible video and for your excellent work Christine!
We need to not just state where we are but how we got here and we didnt get here by design.Until there is a major dismanteling of the socieconomic structure in place then things will not improve. Redefining masculinity is applicable only if we presist with this current system because the complexities that are prevailent allows flexiblity whereas a few decades ago it couldnt afford it.
What are you talking about? The average male experience overall is much better than it has ever been in history. People aren't being sent to wars, dying of diseases, and suffering from poverty as much anymore.
@@arju6996 true but most cant get decent jobs, let alone buy own home or find a partner. all top jobs going to women or diversity quotas, most women flocking to top 10% guys. but we all reap what we sow.
@@arju6996 He's talking about today, not historically. Your point stands as correct but both statements can be true but you should not conflate the two.
@@arju6996 Hopelessness comes with the new mechanical abuse over men, and workfoce in general to be specific. People haven't gone through too much with modernization in this century, but it also come with the harms of the absolute control
I made a mental shift in my twenties. Rather than trying to find the right girlfriend, I focused on being the right boyfriend. What that meant was going to school, having friends, starting a career… because no girl wants to be with a man child who doesn’t grow up.
In my country, New Zealand, the marriage rate last peaked in 1971, by 2020 the marriage rate had fallen by over 80%, while the divorce rate rose in that time from about 15% to over 40%. Most of the fighting age men are single, childless, sexually frustrated and worse, they have almost no hope of ever having a family of their own. Yeah, our current way of life is doomed.
@@TyranyFighterPatriot Best place to survive is wherever your feet are standing. No matter where you are there is a balance of good and bad. Choose where you want to stand and live with it.
As a 🦖DINOSAUR 🦕 it looks like your video plays out to the people (and men) that spend to much time (in one way or another) on the internet …… I call the people (and men) in this group “The AVIATOR Crowd” ……. Better in “The Virtual World” than “The Real World” …… Bc in “The Real World” MOST (even if it’s just 51%) are doing just fine (and struggling is a NATURAL part of a MAN’S life) …..
@@franklinbruce7121 Struggling? more like slavery to death, most men won't have enough to retire and only the privileged can have access. The only way out is keeping it simple, and live frugal life.
Well, let’s think about it. For decades, regardless of what side of the political spectrum you stand, men have been told from nearly every direction that they are the problem. Men have been told that they don’t deserve their status or their position and are constantly bombarded with negativity. Eventually, this will have a impact. There has been a psychological warfare conducted on men for quite some time now and young men specifically suffer the most from that. If you are conservative, this leads men feeling isolated and views the world as their enemy. If you are liberal, this leads men to hate themselves and feel, again, isolated.
Sorry not sorry but men are the problem and always have been the problem. Much of it is biological but a significant portion is male culture, what you tell yourselves and each other. Men have to deal with reality before they can change it. That doesn't mean that you or my wonderful husband are part of the problem individually but even my husband says men are the problem. He says why do you lock your doors? Men.
Don’t forget society is also telling women they are goddesses who deserve 6’ 6figure 6pack abs and nothing less. Men are conditioned to suffer, women to be exalted. It’s going to hit the later much harder down the road.
Yeah and let's not forget that just because women are doing great professionally, financially, confidence wise etc. they are also isolated (at least, more than before) because they don't have the environment to have a proper family or a proper relationship. Both genders are failing each other.
“I do want men to thrive and flourish” this is the exact empathy more women need to have for this generation’s men. So many are just looking to find their place, but modernity is making it difficulty, for everyone unfortunately. A little bit of empathy from both sides will go a long way, certainly.
Plenty of women have empathy and see a man’s “potential” and in the end women are left with the short end of the stick because men dont want a partner-they want a wife who serves them. Men want empathy-but its one way.
'Protest' against what? Against women? Against their existence? Against them not doing what you want them to? They are not 'things' to make demands on; women are people, like you, who only want to be in relationships that are mutually respectful and kind. Why should they accept less? You wouldn't.
True. Many of them were raised by singel mothers and when people shame men for showing any sign of masculinity or what they call "toxic masculinity ", ofc they will listen to someone like andrew tate, bc thats the only place where at least some healthy and good masculine traits are being excepted and not shamed until you wanna end yourself.
@@progamer-df3be Andrew tate is garbage, not surprised men are getting hate. Ladies won't upfront with that nonsense anymore. Is not a shame to be a single mother , I a shame leaving your family, check your points
@@marte1376 My friend, the commenter never said they had an abusive mother. They are just saying that there are men out there who have definitely had abusive mothers. That is by no means misogyny.
"Safe areas for men... the industrial sector", you mean the workplaces workers fought hard to escape since they were incredibly dangerous and paid so little that their families could hardly get by? Yeah, such a shame they're gone.
she literally says "safe areas for men to work, for example, industrial areas" WTF?! When a woman who wants to "help" men thinks coal mines and construction sites are "safe spaces" then she's doing more farm than good.
Safe means job security here. Their jobs weren't at risk of being taken by women. So the jobs were guaranteed for men. That doesn't take into account the competition for the job among men themselves, but the point is they didn't have to compete with anyone other than other men for these jobs
My high school buddies, 4 of us gen X men, (all of us workplace leaders) have 4 daughters and 6 son's combined. All 4 daughters are working full time, graduated post secondary, full time post secondary, and no mental health issues. 4 of our sons are medicated for mental health issues (1 has commited suicide) 2 are in apprenticeships. None are in post secondary or have graduated post secondary.
There is a thin line between male protection and domination, the same between female care and control. It is essential to be aware of this line and be mindful of communication of personal boundaries. Maybe this way, the couples don’t fall into the trap of games and fighting. The balance is a key I think 🔐
Totally agree on this. The key is clear and honest communication because people truly believe their interpretations of '' how '' something is said vs the literal '' what '' is being said is the absolute truth. It's odd how scenarios in our heads supercede what is present in reality right in front of us. I can admit to doing this time to time.
@@painunending4610 That's LITERALLY impossible. You can expect women to protect themselves from other women instead of you the man having to beat up another woman for her putting you in danger legally speaking but you have to protect YOUR woman from other men. It's like a woman expecting you to give birth or breast feed.
Anti male extremism leads to male extremism. Potentially decrease sexism equally for better results. Now go one to dismiss this and call me sexist to keep the cycle alive.
Okay. So would you say anti-female extremism leads or female extremism? Bc women weren’t even considered people deserving of human rights until really recently. And still aren’t many places. And even in the places where they are on paper, they don’t experience that day to day. So…….. men can violate and subjugate women super mega extremely for decades…. And never change when anyone asks for rights. And only extremism even granted women basic human rights…. And now men are MORE EXTREME? I don’t see men as more extreme the more extreme anti-maleness gets. They were absolute dictators when the world was entirely pro-male. This video even shows how the more extreme anti-maleness is, the softer and more pathetic men get. Bc abuse works. That’s why extreme anti-femaleness worked for literal millennia.
What this take is missing is that even in the face of anti-male extremism, males still have a choice in how they behave. The world is not happening at you, or to you, it is happening inside your mind. And that, friends, is completely up to you.
I think of my father’s generation regarding masculinity. My father was of the WW2 generation, and they all had a sense of industry, modesty, and humility about themselves. They lived quietly, responsibly, and cared for their family and friends. After seeing so much trauma and heartbreak through the Depression and then WW2, they looked for peace and simpler pleasures. They were not full of themselves. We’re they perfect? Nope. But they were good, and they enemy of the good is the perfect. I often think that if men today remembered them, we’d be okay.
You're right, there's nothing more powerful than empathy. I think we need empathy from and for both sides as we think about this topic. We need to understand the struggles men are going through and the valid emotions they are feeling and social change they are experiencing. I also think in that same thought we need to empathize and acknowledge with WHY men are dismissed when they talk about their struggles and remember the whole picture. I myself am a woman, and was going down the bitter road, until I read Bell Hook's The Will to Change which gave me so much empathy for men and what they are going through without taking away from what women have gone through and continue to go through.
@@ForAnAngel It's difficult to hear the woes of the group that has dominated the other for centuries. It's hard to empathize with the group that have been and still are the oppressors and have had and still have so much privilege. Imagine there are two siblings, one had their college paid for, a large allowance, and great mentors that help them succeed. The other wasn't allowed to go to college, they weren't given an allowance or mentorship. Now, that first sibling is talking about how difficult their life is because someone took away their allowance, but they still have the free education and mentorship. How would you expect the second sibling to respond to their hardship? Would you expect them to only have empathy and support that first sibling? I'm not saying we shouldn't have empathy for men, I'm just saying it's sometimes hard to and I hope men can understand why.
@@haybale392 I hope you can understand that the men struggling today haven't "dominated" or been "oppressors" for "centuries". You can't treat a 20 year old as if they were around in the 1800's. Your question actually reminded me a lot of my own life. I'm actually a man with a twin sister. When we graduated from high school my parents couldn't afford to send both of us to college at the same time. So she went away to college and I got a job. I gave most of my money to my parents which they then sent to her since she was too busy with school and having a social life to also get a job. After she graduated I saved up money to start going to college but after just one semester, my mother got sick (ALS) and so I had to drop out of college to earn money. When she got real sick my father had quit working to take care of her full time and she couldn't work either obviously because she was dying. So there I was working 80 hours a week making minimum wage trying to support myself and both my parents. I did this from age 19 to 21 until she died. Where was my sister? Off living her life, she wouldn't even come visit let alone help out. So please don't tell me that because men had been in charge for centuries before I was born that means that I didn't deserve any help. You have no idea how hard some men have it. I lived my whole life and didn't even realize I was autistic until I was almost 40. You say you have sympathy for men but then you blame men alive today for everything men did for the last few centuries.
This video was pointless. It offered zero "solutions" to the "problem." A woman spent the whole time talking about how poorly men are doing and then closed by saying "Hey, women (duh), this affects us too." And that was basically the video.
I'm not saying men aren't in crisis, but I will say a few more positive and optimistic things now. (I am a 23 year old man myself so trust me when I say that I understand a lot of the issues). The shift in society is difficult, a lot of things are changing, dating life is changing with social media and dating apps, work life is changing with feminism, just like expectations of us as men is. Emotional maturity is valued more and more among people and I feel like lockdown contributed even more to people being more aware of their inner life. Sensitivity, openness, empathy, social skills etc. are more important than ever and almost necessary to live a normal healthy life. And a lot of men weren't exactly taught a lot of these skills when they were younger, or at least not to the extent that women were taught these skills. But we men are just as capable of them. With a changing society, the future might seem uncertain and confusing when it comes to which role we are supposed to fulfill. But I am optimistic that with a changing society, many new spots where men are needed, will come up. In fact I experienced that I am far closer with my male friends due to the shift in society, more vulnerable, more emotional, more connected and even hugging became more normal for me with male friends and not just with female friends. Think of things like ballroom dancing or choir. These are two examples where we as men are desperately needed... and I am sure there is much much more. We are not replacable, we are just simply not needed the same way we were needed before. When it comes to dating, women also feel conflicted oftentimes, just the other way round. Many women don't know what to expect from men and have way too high expectations, i.e. they also don't know their role anymore. The statistics provided in the video can be read like that too. When really what I learned through dating shows me that women, just like men, are really just looking for someone to truly connect with and who cares about them and who they can laugh with, cuddle with and share time with etc. Most women, from my experience, don't want a super swole, stoic, cold hearted, 7 figure earning man. And the ones who want such a man are going to end up as unhappy as the men who think that that's what all women want. Go out, be social, be kind to others and be okay with looking goofy or stupid while trying to find your place! I personally must say I don't feel much of the issues anymore that men are supposed to experience these days... By withdrawing from society you only really punish yourself ultimately. You miss out on life, not the others. Take care you guys, society needs you!
"Emotional maturity is valued more and more among people ...... Sensitivity, openness, empathy, social skill, etc. are more important than ever and almost necessary to live a normal healthy life" I think you nailed it. I believe what you said is highly relevant both in employment and the dating scene.
Imagine being shown a list of truly amazing qualities that 80% of people, if they spent 10 years of thier lives working on could not obtain. And then being conditioned into believing your only value is in how many other people will profit from your blood, sweat, and tears.
Here here. At the bottom of a stall at work, someone has written, in teensy tiny writing: "its all a lie". She doesn't get THAT bit. The slave solidarity of expendable labour
@@3rkid I can certainly try my best... Growing up young men are taught a great man is strong. An exceptional man is courageous. And an outstanding man is honest. The teacher will use the words great, exceptional, and outstanding because he understands the time, effort, and willpower it takes to truly embody a single one of these characteristics. And anyone can take a look around and see that the people who actually have these traits are few and far between. Then at some point Women saw a couple of these truly exceptional human beings and in stead of appreciating the hard work and sacrifices it took to gain these beautiful traits they decided that this is the new standard of what a man is. They say a man is strong as if someone can become strong without being beat down over and over and over again. They say a man is courageous as if finding something truly worth risking your life for is a simple task. They say a man is honest as if true honesty comes without years of hard work understanding yourself and the world around you. They have taken what we saw as a nobel and selfless gift and somehow turned it into a tax that we owe them.
@@3rkid I can certainly try my best... Growing up young men are taught a great man is strong. An exceptional man is courageous. And an outstanding man is honest. The teacher will use the words great, exceptional, and outstanding because he understands the time, effort, and willpower it takes to truly embody a single one of these characteristics. And anyone can take a look around and see that the people who actually have these traits are few and far between. Then at some point Women saw a couple of these truly exceptional human beings and in stead of appreciating the hard work and sacrifices it took to gain these beautiful traits they decided that this is the new standard of what a man is. They say a man is strong as if someone can become strong without being beat down over and over and over again. They say a man is courageous as if finding something truly worth risking your life for is a simple task. They say a man is honest as if true honesty comes without years of hard work understanding yourself and the world around you. They have taken what we saw as a nobel and selfless gift and somehow turned it into a tax that we owe them.
I can certainly try my best... Growing up young men are taught a great man is strong. An exceptional man is courageous. And an outstanding man is honest. The teacher will use the words great, exceptional, and outstanding because he understands the time, effort, and willpower it takes to truly embody a single one of these characteristics. And anyone can take a look around and see that the people who actually have these traits are few and far between. Then at some point Women saw a couple of these truly exceptional human beings and in stead of appreciating the hard work and sacrifices it took to gain these beautiful traits they decided that this is the new standard of what a man is. They say a man is strong as if someone can become strong without being beat down over and over and over again. They say a man is courageous as if finding something truly worth risking your life for is a simple task. They say a man is honest as if true honesty comes without years of hard work understanding yourself and the world around you. They have taken what we saw as a nobel and selfless gift and somehow turned it into a tax that we owe them.
I've rarely, or practically never seen a woman rationalize men's problems in a way completely in line with how female's instincts work when evaluating a man. And this case is no different.
It's a little wack to mention title 9 without talking about the lack of push to support men. Female graduation has been higher for a while without a proper reaction. I grew up with women-only career support opportunities. There were none for men. They focused on gender over people.
Already married, already had kids. Aside from providing income to them through the workforce, I am no longer useful to society as a man, only a consumer.
If you have a job thats somewhat useful to society, you can still feel useful. Otherwise find something useful to do if thats important to you. As I man your main job to society isn't providing seed anymore, humans are very very far from going extinct.
Now it's time to get involved in your community. You are not just a consumer unless that's what you want to be. But there is plenty of opportunity to be useful in your community, just find your niche and decide to what extent you want to get involved.
And how exactly do you think your wife can now contribute to society in a way that matters more?? If a "man's job" ist to work and to consume, and to provide for his family, doesn't that mean that the woman has one less thing to offer? Because she would not have to "provide". This makes no sense and just makes you sound very unsympathetic towards women who, derived from your statement, have even less "use" once they reproduced and got married.
Maybe "Toxic Feminism". These women encourage men to embrace their weak, shy and non-masculine side, then they refuse to touch them with a ten foot pole.
Society does value men, as long as they are valuable. Those who choose to contribute to the world around them, doing what necessary to remain capable of contributing, are valued greatly. Those who choose to only take from the world and expect things to be provided are not valued. Find the method of giving that gives you the greatest joy and make that your life's work.
@@catatonicbug7522 i agree, that's fair point, those who dont want to work shouldnt eat, and I dont encourage men to fall into victim mentality, but the analogy of what society is doing is like they making you work in exchange of a fake food, or they are making you work in exchange for an apple at the top of the mountain.. You get what im sayin? It's rigged bro.. Ive experience it, I was once a hard worker and optimistic. Now I let the women run the world, I dont even care anymore lol
@@catatonicbug7522buy bitcoin or gold and wait five years and you will have a greater return on investment than you can ever get with any other use of your money or time. That’s how much society values us- a pet rock with 0% yield and provable scarcity will be rewarded more than any of us will ever be. How do I know? It’s what I did, and it set me up for life. And it kills me to know that I could have even done similar returns by sitting on unopened pokemon cards. These things are all worthless, but our contributions are regarded even less.
@sneakykidugo How do you figure? We all have to bring something to the table to be valued by society. Different people value different things, so we attract the portion of society who values what we have to offer. That is one reason why more women than men are graduating from universities these days. Women in general are choosing to offer academic skills more and more, to attract the portion of society that values those skills.
I thought this was an amazing video. It was insightful, balanced, empathetic without pandering. I thought this was wonderful. Men ARE in crisis right now and it is bad for society. Men and Women need each other and we should elevate the gifts and talents of both. Thank you for your work, Christine.
One of the things that I haven't seen anyone really bring up is that traditional femininity has been demonised as much as masculinity in men. Its not that masculinity isnt being celebrated it is...but only when females display those traits. The identity crisis men feel is that we can't be praised publicly for acting in line within our instinctual nature which in a really fucked up way, feels like our identity was taken from us and now the world has stacked the deck so high in favour of women that theres fuck all point in trying to keep up and compete for most blokes. I'd argue that over 90% of men are pissed off with the system, with being silenced anytime one of us pipes up and then have our point deflected back to us and labelled misogynist. And thats why MGTOW has blown up. Why contribute to a society that doesnt appreciate you? Why trade your life for humanity when all you get is disrespect or are ignored? Its never been Men vs Women. Men LOVE women. Its Men vs The System and they de-fang us by chemical, societal and nutritional castration. And i feel sorry for the women who have been used and manipulated to be the weapon of this war
Putting Andrew Tate with Joe Rogan and Jordan Peterson as a package is like putting Marie Curie and Ada Lovelace with Kim Kardashian as examples of similar women. Not that Jordan and Rogan are that great but Tate, my god that's off the mark...
You're not listening to the constant, whining, subtext; everything Peterson says is laced with grievance and a sense of unfairness in the world. Poor him, he has to fight against all these oppressive forces... That's why so many of public appearances are designed to be combative ("watch him 'destroy' that woke person...." blah blah).
I absolutely agree that this topic should be discussed although I wish that the masculine is no longer defined in comparison to the femininity but on its own. Finding the meaning of one’s life and identity is responsibility of every human being, weather man, woman or else…
Masculinity and femininity are intertwined though. You cannot have one without the other or the person becomes "toxic" aka unbalanced. A leader has both of those traits in him/her, the masculine and the feminine. Has nothing to do with gender. Thinking and feeling are intertwined as well, you cannot have one without the other.
She has some good points in the issue. But the main driver is social media and online dating. Women are on about 4 different apps so they don’t want to settle with too many options available
I agree. The same goes for femininity being defined on it's own without the comparison. We'll probably find that both men and women have a lot of overlap in what we all desire as humans and that being human in general is a spectrum. What most of us have in common is the basics of wanting the right to earn a living, to take care of ourselves and our families, to contribute to society, etc. No one should be shamed for showing emotions, empathy and compassion. The same way no one should seek to purposely do harm to others. It all sounds simple until ego is brought into the conversation, which is where many problems stem from. Maybe we as humans should focus on questioning and examining ego on our way to discovering a fulfilling life.
Well, that would really suck if the community of men had become so weak that they need to have their story told them by a woman. She didn’t say anything that we haven’t already been saying for the past 25 years in the men’s community.
It is sometimes hard to discuss concerns about the education gap that has grown between men and women (acceptance rates, attendance and dropout rates) without sounding like a conspiracy throwing incel. Good to have collaborators that can help in the discussion.
What I don't understand is if the male to female ratio is about 1 to 1 how are 34% of women single and 63% of men single? I would think that for every single man there would be a single woman. Are multiple women dating the same man or are there many more gay women? What's going on there?
Asked myself the same. 😂 Indeed there are studies that over 80% of women are indeed bisexual. But you would see lesbian couples all over the place. Not true. Also there are not that much women into polyamory to get to that results.
Because women 18-29 date oolder guys compared to them, while men don't have the same chance. And because a little group of few men, the ones perceived as attractive, go with many women.
Yes, there are many many single men of all ages living alone these days. I live in a rural community where there are scores of such men living in little corners where rent is cheap or zero. They appear to be fundamentally content. But, what of their female counterparts? They are alone too in the towns and cities. My only exposure to them is in supermarkets where the blunt end of our changed society is revealed. I see a new expression of femininity - frumpy looking women within the age group 30 to 50. Rings in their nose and tattoos that they will one day hate and are obviously childless. They look confused and so they should be. They got their liberation, to what? This? Who to blame? Happiness and contentment come from within. We are what we feel, which changes like the weather. “Take Courage and be a Man” was the moto of my secondary school. I constantly remind myself of this. It starts by not blaming others for this very difficult life. Every one of us is good at something. Follow that path. No, I am not being sanctimonious. I learnt 3 days ago that my wife has been having affairs. I am writing to remind myself of what really matters, and to heal. I am now one of those single men, and not ashamed of it. This masculine strait is a treasure guys. Be strong. You know what kind of father your children would want. Be that.
you are the sucker that she trapped to pay for raising her children. men are sexual predators. women are financial predators. that is natural law(reality). For me I choose not to be a meal ticket to someone else.
a lot of men have wised up. the men a woman like this narrator sees, are the suckers who are still playing the conventional game and being used and exploited the "weirdos" that are alone are quite content and FREEEEEEEEE
Important topic to discuss. Reading the variety of comments, I feel real heartbreak. I hope that men and women, especially the younger ones, can establish healthy communities and can improve their ability to relate to each other.
Finally someone speaks my mind about these influencers. I see men getting the wrong image about being masculine, or they think men and women almost like different species, when in reality we are just HUMANS, and that means we both have human qualities like being emotional or craving for love. Be respectful and give everybody what they want, after you ASK them actually, don't assume something just based on their gender: "women need this, because of their nature..." says one of those influencer men. Well you aren't woman, you just THINK women need this, it is not a fact. And lot of women still think they live a harder life, just because they are women. Just treat each other as a fellow human being. Men need to be appriciated a lot too, feel needed and loved too, just as women.
Mgtow are not neets. We enjoy having checked out and have good careers and lives. I myself am a manager in one of the largest small arms manufacturers. We are earning for ourselves and leave women to do the same.
Exactly; this video was another let down by someone who refuses to change her flawed (feminist) premises. Every feminist who attempts to explain or understand why everyone is miserable invariably seems to follow the formula of "Women are doing better than men!!! Men are not capable of adapting!!!" as if empowering women implicitly dis-empowers men (power struggle and politics between the sexes), which is a typical feminist take. Annoying. MGTOW is the adaptation, and women seethe over it.
@@paratrooper508 get out of mindset that sole goal of any activity is to cater to women. Learn that they are not important and not the goal ever. Think bugger. To decide destiny of world and fate of civilizations. That's what men of past did. This advancement in which you are living happened because some men had focus much beyond catering to women. Many of them never bothered about women
How about an aspirational vision of femininity? We act like women and femininity are just fine but in reality they both have huge problems, including being the primary source of the "men are garbage" narrative. So myopic, how is this not on Little Think?
Literally 99% of conversations are on how men are bad and women have it so hard and need support. The second you have a (relatively badly done) video on how men might be struggling someone pops up “Kant wee tok li bi moha bout woooman?!”
She has some good points in the issue. But the main driver is social media and online dating. Women are on about 4 different apps so they don’t want to settle with too many options available
We just need to operate a meritocratic society instead of stacking the deck to place men at the bottom of the pack of cards and selecting everyone else from the top. Simple fairness to all regardless of sex, gender, race, disability or religion.
She seems to forget all of the societal discriminations that men face. Instead of acknowledging how society is geared to harm men, she places blame on the individual. "If men would just adopt a healthy masculinity we wouldn't have these issues". Thanks for the victim blame.
Lovely. What better way to learn about masculinity being attacked than to hear it from a woman. Like she would know. Not to mention, she makes it sound like it's our own fault.
@@riffz6065 pregnancy is a crazy thing with wild side effects that are often not discussed so yea actually I think it would be good to learn about. I get your point though, as a man you cannot fathom the process of giving birth. I still don't mind some acknowledgment from women regarding the subject because it's a problem for everyone, not just men. We're all in this together, after all.
I believe the words ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’ have become flexible, hard to pin down. I don’t think that’s bad, but we have to adjust. What we’re looking for is caring, responsible humans.
There are huge gaps in this story. I am not young. I work 65 hrs per week just to pay bills. No spare time, no spare money, no spare energy, youth has left the room, you don't have any answers!
The first part of the video describes a lot of real issues. When she begins to ask the question "where are those neets" her attitude doesn't match the reality of the situation anymore. It's possible that she just doesn't get what men are going through, because female reality and personality is just drastically different than those of males. Comparing JR and JP to Andrew Tate makes zero sense by the way, because neither of them, ever, tells people out there that they should adopt a victim mentality and blame the world. The opposite is what they've been advertising for, for a long while. So I don't know how this idea got to her. Andrew Tate is a different subject, he's far more complex to describe, but from my view, his moral code and messages don't produce a net good and aren't in line with JP and JR. So please don't put them all in the same boat. The conclusions towards the end of the video make sense, I agree fully with them. If one sex loses, both sexes lose. And we need to figure out how we bring men and women together again, if we want to prevent all of us losing.
Problem statement: where are all the men? Answer: incels, MGTOW, video games, and manfluencers. Solution: redefine masculinity. Implication that men haven't been able to define it themselves, so one can deduce who should be in control of redefining it.
Damn a brave woman with empathy, knowing the backlash she can face with this in todays age is courageous. Most men dont have it good, shes the first woman ive seen that seemed to grasp this concept. Like 10% of men have it good and get news covered on them( these men will foreber have it good because nature will kick in for many to reward men who already have it good so thats never going to end). Men dont have it good and a man getting bullied and abused is pretty bad as your isolated and won't get taken seriously and probably further bullying will happen. Many people can't seem to grasp this concept either.
Phenomenal video. Thank you Christine for being so kind and real about this topic. It goes a long way. My 2 cents: it seems to me that if gender is a construct anyway, why try to reconstruct it? I think Christine’s point about channeling the traits that often come out of testosterone in a positive direction is a good one, but at the same time, many men do not reflect those traits very strongly while many women do. Let’s change our paradigm from “how to be a good man” to “how to be a good human”. As Christine said in the video, neither gender likes to be boxed in. We don’t have to live up to someone else’s idea (or even our own idea) of what being a “real” man is. What if Einstein or Stephen Hawking or any of the big scientific or moral reformers of human history were fixated on these arbitrary traits of manhood? If Einstein were focused on getting big muscles and becoming an Alpha or whatever, what would the field of science look like today? Our value as men does not come from these traditional “manly” traits. Our value is inherent, and I believe it’s best for everyone if we free ourselves from others’ ideals and just work on being good humans while laying out our own path toward what we deem as valuable.
Imagine judging the opposite gender according to what you've seen online. Imagine being preoccupied with titles, power, and positions. Imagine never enjoying your life because the world tells you what to think and feel. Imagine being desperate to be seen and accepted by people who don't like you or know you.
Masculinity can be whatever you want it to be. You don't have to follow what others did. You get to practice it in a way that fits *you*. Bonus points if you can benefit others too
I realized that the secret to making a million is saving for a better investment. I always tell myself you don't need that new Maserati or that vacation just yet. That mindset helped me make more money investing. For example last year I invested 80k in stocks and made about $246k,but guess what? I put it all back and traded again and now I am rounding up close to a million
Thanks for continuing updates I'd rather trade the stock market as it's more profitable. I make an average of $42,500 per week even though I barely trade myself.
Well, a lot of women would never listen to a man talking about men's problems, so she might be bringing awareness to a more diverse demographic but I don't think that she's doing a good job of it.
Men are here to build, develop, protect, teach, and love. Male strength is not destructive. Masculinity is not toxic. Women are here to complete us, not to compete with us. Their rage come as a result of ages of mistreatment. We need to embrace it with empathy, not to fight it with hatred.
This understanding of men is largely predicated on urbanization. Once the wealth of this country runs out, the shifts what’s really important will prove disappointing with the progress we’ve made for equality between the sexes. Developing nations are just beginning what we have been through these last few decades and will struggle similarly as we are today.
One of the greatest things you can do to be a man is master your cell phone and internet usage.... distraction is one of the greatest challenges of our day.
It's sad to see this gender war unfolding... Another video showcasing women's answers to the man loneliness problem was mostly "Good for them!" , "Boohoo, poor men getting what they deserve" , or even "More of them should honestly unalive themselves" regarding a statement about male suicide rate going up... Men are definitely not getting the response and the empathy they seek and need. Thank you for this video and putting this message out there, sadly I have a suspicion that this problem is gonna get much worse before it gets better...
The fact that you lump joe rogan and jordan peterson in with the likes of andrew tate, tells me everything I need to know about the rest of this video. It isn't empathy. Toxic amounts of misplaced empathy is exactly how we got here. It's discipline and leadership that men are attracted to. Weak men seekout empathy.
It's almost like the world spent their whole childhood telling them how evil they were, and how women needed more than they did because they could DO more than they could, better, smarter, faster, and the men... believed them. IT'S ALMOST LIKE THE WORLD TOLD THEM THEY NEEDED TO STEP ASIDE AND LET WOMEN DO IT, SO THEY DID, AND NOW THAT SAME WORLD IS GRIPING ABOUT HOW THEY GOT WHAT THEY WANTED.
I'm grateful to you for your research, your book, and this video! As a mother of 3 boys, it's heartbreaking to see males talked about negatively and undervalued by the media.
I was waiting to hear what example they’d show of JP ‘speaking badly of women’ (knowing that he doesn’t) and when they finally got to the example it’s a clip of him talking about WOMEN’S STUDIES 😂🤦🏻♂️
This lady really came up here and said Jordan Peterson is telling men they're victims? Jordan bootstrap Peterson? Tell you have never listened to someone without telling me you haven't listened to them. F me, the ignorance in what shes saying with the confidence to make this video. Its like listening to a octopus talk about what birds go through.
Sorry, but i HAVE listened to Peterson, too much actually, and his entire schtick is based on grievances. Oh those woke people, they're so unfair to him (poor him); oh those professional standards people, demanding he live up to the expectations of his industry (poor him); Men have been so put upon psychologically, so culturally oppressed they need his special skills to 'bootstrap' themselves up from their lowly place.... EVERYTHING he says is laced with grievance and a sense of unfairness.
@LaurenWilson-cm8ic the irony. You have a good pastime of creating strawman, I see. None of that is factual. It's mischaractorizing his words and situations to your own biases. It's a form of projecting. Based on what you want him to be saying, instead of what he is actually saying. Oh, look, I made a better point than you, and I didn't have to use any immature snarkiness. Good luck. None of your points were close enough to the truth to be valid. So I'm not even going to correct them. Lol
I'm 50 years old, never had a longer relationship, and while I have identified the personal issues holding me back, I often ask myself: Is it really worth the struggle? What if I got finally through my emotional mess and childhood trauma, crawl out of my hole, only to find myself still unwanted, unseen, unlovable? What if my vulnerability and wish for intimacy is abused, and I end up in an even deeper hole than I am in now? What if I overcome my trust issues, just to get my trust shattered by the first person I open up to? As more I think about it, as cozier my current little hole appears. This world isn't made for me, I hate its rules, its stupid games and its ideals.
If you sit back and hyper focus on the bad things that might happen if you do this or that then you will be one very unhappy person.. get out there and start doings things
That was wonderful. Brilliant, and we should be grateful for this thinking being made so concise, that's no small thing. Here's a thing to think about in terms of how we get past this. We need to think about all the things that we do as a society - what actual work is required to do those things, how well we can automate them, and how well we can make this benefit everyone in the short and long term. We are absolutely capable of inventing a much better future.
Here’s a few thoughts… (from a 63 year old man). Set aside gender. Practice being a good human. Let go of the need to dominate. Let go of the negative connotations of being a man.
We are here for a short visit. Practice harm free living. Embrace love of life and all things living.
Turn away from influencers, following any influencer/ guru too close will create a copy at best.
Develop a practice of turning off the outside noise to hear what comes from within.
Discover what sparks for you. Bring it to life and live passionately.
Do not believe all of the nonsense that is being pushed at you from all directions.
We all have the equal right to live in peace.
It is up to each of us, (humans), to take responsibility for our actions and create a reality worth living.
Wow, this is actually great advice 🥰
Amen 🙌
Best advice on here
TLDR
Too Long Can’t Read 😒
Well said
“Most men aren’t CEOs. Most men aren’t wealthy”
Also: most men aren’t toxic, abusive, adulterers, nor living in their parents’ basement. But we hear a LOT about those men.
To be fair, we also hear a lot about sniveling women on Tik Tok who whine about the job they have, the guy they can't find, and pretty much everything else. Most women are not like that but I get your point.
Actually a lot of
Them
Do live in their parents basement and that’s in no small
Part bc society punishes them no matter what they do
@@robertd9850 you unederestimate how many entitled women are on tiktok and even those not on tiktok.
@@robertd9850the difference being those women out themselves. Whereas the basement dwelling mama's boy is a very rare sighting.
Agree to disagree
as a man this is what i want
--> A Job.
--> Friends.
You will have no problem finding contentment.
Do you have those?
as a boy this is what i want
--> A Job. (to get money)
--> Friends. (specially those that have a vagina)
I don't want a job. I just want to do whatever I want and live comfortably. Unfortunately, that requires money, and money requires a job.
@@abstract5249 Become a woman. Then a real man will take care of you.
Something not mentioned here: the advent of social media and dating apps have not only changed the social dynamic between men and women but also changed the source of 'fulfillment' for men and women. Many men don't get fulfillment from these platforms and actually feel rejected by them, which has a significant impact on mental health
Hell yeah, very good point
@@boogie1434
trust me, women don’t feel fulfilled from dating apps either, they fear for their lives when trying to meet someone. Dating apps helps nobody, it’s just a way for you to spend money
@@quinniebe9775 Thank you for sharing your input. I'm talking about Social media and dating apps, both of which remove the personal aspect of interactions. Thus these things are unfulfilling in general, yet particularly they are unfulfilling for *different* reasons. Lets not assume that by stating an issue for Men that we are discounting the pernicious effect these platforms have on Women.
I felt that way once. Then I turned off my phone.
The isolation and loneliness for men is real. Thank you for addressing these issues. We need to address these issues.
As an isolated and lonely man, I appreciate the sentiment.
Shut up and be stoic. Men don't cry. Go to the bar and drink with all the other men who aren't lonely
She has some good points in the issue. But the main driver is social media and online dating. Women are on about 4 different apps so they don’t want to settle with too many options available
Gender ratio is 50-50 so…
I agree. Women just want MONEY. Not MEN. These days. IMO.
As a guy, once I stepped out of the social media/online bubble and my screen time started to regularly be under 2 hours a day, I started to be much more optimistic about the real world. I don't think it's nearly as bad for us men as everyone wants us to think, so let's stop victimizing ourselves and start bettering our lives. Obviously there are definitely some challenges that need to be overcome, but it sure as hell felt a lot worse when I was spending too much time on social media.
Yeah! Turn a blind eye. I should not look at other people's suffering or I might feel bad.
Out of sight out of mind. Everything is A-OK because I can't see it.
you are right. people just dwell on social media all day taking in lies
That’s such a weak white man mentality. Running from the world and cutting out everything that triggers you will make you just more coddled and more scared 🤷 like an antisocial chihuahua
Thank you for pointing out the obvious. Social media algorithms have much more to do with this issue and men's perceptions of being victims in this changing world.
This is worst than "stop being poor" meme...good for you!
Amazing analysis. Kudos to you for addressing the importance of masculinity for men without bashing women or feminism in the process. I’ve seen women who fall into that trap too.
Honestly it takes some bravery for creators to talk about this because of the backlash they'll no doubt receive. I can only respect her willingness to do it anyway.
Gratitude for your care.
Cancel culture is a disgusting aspect of the ever creeping pestilence known as cuIturaI marx¡sm
The fact that there is a fear of backlash for talking about men's problems shows how bad the problem is regarding society's views of men. Men experience real problems and society needs to acknowledge this and face it.
@@jackaguirre8576 completely agree.
Did u miss the pat where she has a book to sell? Of course she wants to talk about it.
@@joseph2664 shhh. We're trying to reward the behavior we want repeated my brother.
She did a good job of reminding me why men need men to help men.
I'm nice to men and mean to women
😂😂😂 Exactly
That’s right. Another woman telling men how to be real men is certainly not the solution.
The root of the problem is economics. Men and boys without agency is a ticking time bomb. In history, organised young men have been the most unstoppable force. We are already seeing a coalescing of interests, politics and resurgent masculine thinking. The current era has bought itself to its own end.
This comment should have way more likes. The only comment that actually addresses the main issue.
Completely agreed. More people should see this.
Everyone is in denial of this, particularly women. Truth is, the violence and insanity of young men should not be underestimated. I'm really fearful for the future but no one will listen.
@@icespeaker81I've been saying this too for a while, people are ignoring the coming danger. Already right now, most fighting age men are single, childless and sexually frustrated, it's only a matter of time before these men go insane. Many of the young men are already starting to believe that the only way to restore marriage and family is to restore the patriarchy, that women's empowerment should never have happened. It really is a ticking timebomb.
In other words, men will take care of the problem.
It's better to not care too much about other's opinions on your masculinity and just focus on your own individual path to happiness. Write the book you want to read, make the music you want to hear, film the movie you want to see. Through those efforts you'll find your community and purpose. Develop a talent. Find a trade. Focus on fitness, finance and faith. The less noise you take in through media, TH-cam included, you'll clear your mind and find peace in yourself. Masculinity has been narrowly defined in recent times due to cultural shifts. It's our turn to make the rules and redefine masculinity on our own terms.
Preach
@@JulieAziza like the guy that goes to war and gets his face blown off, kids dying of cancer or the millions of homeless living on the streets getting spit on everyday... yeah a lot of path and purpose there.
Totally agreed. I have been told that I am not very masculine, but who are you to define my masculinity? I have embraced my emotional side and don't feel the need to dominate. I am an integrated man, a modern man if you will. I define my own masculinity. If you think I'm not manly, maybe you just have outdated gender roles in your mind. We should stop holding on to traditional gender roles and let everyone be themselves. Period.
Ehh, you do you follow your “truth” postmodernist masculinity isn’t that much of a solution. Many people don’t even know themselves and there should be some ground or definition to masculinity, even if it isn’t narrowly defined.
@@chibu3212 that’s the issue, masculinity is very broad but there should certainly be objective markers, like independence and ambition for example
As a man with a PhD, here is what I want.
--> My own home
--> Friends
--> A job where I am not underemployed
--> Purpose
Your purpose is to bring happiness to those around you and share in their joy and sadness alike.
@@reubenprasanth271 True, under my "friends" part :)
We are at a unique point in history where men are villainized for what their stereotype was, and yet are expected to uphold the stereotype. Don't be toxic and controlling (ok cool), but you're still responsible for the financial well being of the family. Be a leader, but don't lead. I'm sure the time will come soon when all the expectations are gone, and the family unit will function together without shame or blame, but we aren't there yet.
Very well said.
Responsibility without authority is slavery
The thing is even in a traditional family structure the women had more value.
''Don't be toxic and controlling (ok cool), but you're still responsible for the financial well being of the family''
what does being toxic and controlling have to do with providing?
Usually you are already in a very financial privileged position if you can effort only one part being the provider. That is not the reality for most people. Having a partner, male or female however, to stay at home is a giant luxury. You need real wealth for that.
I’m pushing 30. I’ve never had a relationship and I’ve spent half my life seriously considering suicide every few months. And yet I have to watch women, who have access to sex, love and empathy just walking out the door tell me how privileged I am as a man. You try living 30 years without so much as a hug. Fuck this society.
you are not alone buddy, we survive until we can, find peace in a thing that satisfies you, and ignore others for that peace
That's the truth. Women are so incredibly privileged in the western world they cannot even grasp what MOST men go through, NOT having sex. love, touch or empathy at a moments notice. or at all.
I believe if you shared this perspective with others including women, you'd find out just how much people would identify with you and would want to be around you. not because of pity, but because everyone is searching for this type of genuinity and honesty. You shared it here, share it IRL too.
Me too...
Man! Stay strong buddy❤
I think many men prefer solitude than having to deal with the various kind of "noise" in the world. They have not disappeared. They are just by themselves.
I'm one of those men. Being married has made me realize how much I valued my solitude.
Modern women are an embarrassment and militant in their equality.
People, not just men, need good friends and family. Community that you can be physically there for, much more than something you get online. I believe this is what can fix a lot of people's problems/issues.
Men think they are the omly people who feel lonely it seems.
As soon as I come of age, it felt like my manhood was something I should feel ashamed about. I love being a man, but yet feel like I should somehow apologise for all of the wrongdoings of bad men from the past. Even the very topic of our struggles with mental illness and suicide are met with a kind of ambivalence and a general lack of empathy. And yet, we are still told we benefit from male privilege at every angle.
You're not alone bro, a large section of men feels the same.
Don't apologize or think about apologizing, for nothing more than existing. If you do, you fell for their BS.
This isn't a black and white issue. There are some messed up things men have done over the millennia, and there's some messed up things being said to men who had nothing to do with that stuff in the past. I know one thing for sure, as history shows--you can't go back to what used to be. Time goes in one direction, and so does culture and social order...whether that means a social system has to reorganize and go through tough times, well...that's been shown as something that happens in history, too.
@rikk319 No way, it's quite clear that humans are very primal and the more society advances in comfort, the more they revert to their primal nature. Recent events are proof of this. Men had to be strong and enforce strict societal norms for a reason.
Now, the moment they didn't, they aren't expected anymore. And it's all their fault.
I grew up before the internet fully took off and these discussions weren't really around, and what I felt when reaching adulthood was how appalling many men were. I've seen men doing horrible things I don't even want to repeat, and I seen other men simply stand and watch. I've seen it justified with "boys being boys" but that's nonsense. I came to the conclusion that I ought to be more aware of negative traits my gender often succumbs to so that I can either stop them or prevent repeating them myself. It doesn't mean you should be ashamed, just be aware and actually do something about it.
Peterson and Rogan do not feed victimhood. That is exacltly what they they do not do.
On the outside, I would agree. But in the context of femininity and the movement of feminism, you do see them blaming women a great deal.
@Mostly_Honest_Abe and why would they do that?
I really like and appreciate this perspective in a world full of voices against men. I am a couples therapist and something my mentor used to tell us in feminism studies was that in order to fight for women's emancipations/rights we do not have to take away men's. That would not be equality. Thank you for this thought-provoking video.
It is, it's kind of a revenge thing in a way. My sister's a feminist and for the last ten years or so she has ended up with guys who treat women like crap / feel they want some form of revenge on women, I said she's getting what she puts out there 😅 Now she doesn't speak to me but it was worth it.
@@RocketPropelledWombat Yeah I'm glad OP found a "feminist" mentor that was actually just an egalitarian, because actual feminist theory revolves around the idea of a power struggle between men and women and is based in Marxism. If people would stop equating feminism, and therefore implicitly Marxism, with equality we'd all be better for it. Feminism is about vengeance on a group of people who did nothing wrong, to call it anything else is to out oneself as delusional.
As a 24 year old guy, the world is so f* up that it looks useless to think about having a family in future. I had to quit my studies just after 10th grade and work to support my family. But my younger sister is a graduate and now aiming for masters. Now where should i complain about my lost teenage life. I'm working a low paying job with lots of debts and still not owning my own house. Everything, just looks faded.
@@TheOne1One1One1OneYou didn’t need to post that stupid comment like 50 times bro
@@steven_king What did you major in?
Hang in there, bud. That's the only advice I can give you 😓. I only hope the best for you, and hope you can find happiness and strength in your life ❤
As a 34 y.o., it doesn't get any better.
stop taking care of other people and take care of yourself. when you get comfortable you can start selectively helping others
be selfish now. focus on YOU and what YOU want.
Awesome video. I hope people don't just click away the moment they see a woman talking about these issues. As a man, I understand the urge to listen only to people who look like me, that's a human instinct. But, I'm really glad I fought that instinct, and I applaud Christine for being an outspoken female on men's issues and men's health today. I think because of that very same human instinct, it is important for women to be part of this conversation in helping create a new 21st century identity for men. It's time to end the idea that one sex must put down the other in order to succeed. Thank you for this incredible video and for your excellent work Christine!
women can't understand what we go through, why should I ever listen to their opinions on us? They just demonize all of us anyway
some of those who didn't click away just came to troll without getting the message at all. something tells me they didn't even watch the video ...
We need to not just state where we are but how we got here and we didnt get here by design.Until there is a major dismanteling of the socieconomic structure in place then things will not improve. Redefining masculinity is applicable only if we presist with this current system because the complexities that are prevailent allows flexiblity whereas a few decades ago it couldnt afford it.
Top 10% of men have never had it easier to thrive. Bottom 90% have never had it harder. This applies economically and socially.
So you'd like to trade places with a serf or peasant?
What are you talking about? The average male experience overall is much better than it has ever been in history. People aren't being sent to wars, dying of diseases, and suffering from poverty as much anymore.
@@arju6996 true but most cant get decent jobs, let alone buy own home or find a partner. all top jobs going to women or diversity quotas, most women flocking to top 10% guys. but we all reap what we sow.
@@arju6996 He's talking about today, not historically. Your point stands as correct but both statements can be true but you should not conflate the two.
@@arju6996 Hopelessness comes with the new mechanical abuse over men, and workfoce in general to be specific. People haven't gone through too much with modernization in this century, but it also come with the harms of the absolute control
I made a mental shift in my twenties. Rather than trying to find the right girlfriend, I focused on being the right boyfriend. What that meant was going to school, having friends, starting a career… because no girl wants to be with a man child who doesn’t grow up.
🙌 amen
So wise and fair.
Bingo. You grew up.
Thats a power dynamic shift because of feminists orgs
That's not going to change anything. 99% of women nowadays are 304s with 500 bodycount. Stop being naive.
In my country, New Zealand, the marriage rate last peaked in 1971, by 2020 the marriage rate had fallen by over 80%, while the divorce rate rose in that time from about 15% to over 40%.
Most of the fighting age men are single, childless, sexually frustrated and worse, they have almost no hope of ever having a family of their own.
Yeah, our current way of life is doomed.
The side effect of feminazism
What would be best place for young isolated man in society to survive in New Zealand.
@@TyranyFighterPatriot Best place to survive is wherever your feet are standing. No matter where you are there is a balance of good and bad. Choose where you want to stand and live with it.
As a 🦖DINOSAUR 🦕 it looks like your video plays out to the people (and men) that spend to much time (in one way or another) on the internet …… I call the people (and men) in this group “The AVIATOR Crowd” ……. Better in “The Virtual World” than “The Real World” ……
Bc in “The Real World” MOST (even if it’s just 51%) are doing just fine (and struggling is a NATURAL part of a MAN’S life) …..
@@franklinbruce7121 Struggling? more like slavery to death, most men won't have enough to retire and only the privileged can have access. The only way out is keeping it simple, and live frugal life.
Well, let’s think about it. For decades, regardless of what side of the political spectrum you stand, men have been told from nearly every direction that they are the problem. Men have been told that they don’t deserve their status or their position and are constantly bombarded with negativity. Eventually, this will have a impact. There has been a psychological warfare conducted on men for quite some time now and young men specifically suffer the most from that. If you are conservative, this leads men feeling isolated and views the world as their enemy. If you are liberal, this leads men to hate themselves and feel, again, isolated.
Sorry not sorry but men are the problem and always have been the problem. Much of it is biological but a significant portion is male culture, what you tell yourselves and each other. Men have to deal with reality before they can change it. That doesn't mean that you or my wonderful husband are part of the problem individually but even my husband says men are the problem. He says why do you lock your doors? Men.
Don’t forget society is also telling women they are goddesses who deserve 6’ 6figure 6pack abs and nothing less. Men are conditioned to suffer, women to be exalted. It’s going to hit the later much harder down the road.
This is the future. Men have been too priveleged for too long. Finally women can be safe.
Makes sense... especially the liberal part. I think some men are just liberal out of guilt.
Yeah and let's not forget that just because women are doing great professionally, financially, confidence wise etc. they are also isolated (at least, more than before) because they don't have the environment to have a proper family or a proper relationship. Both genders are failing each other.
“I do want men to thrive and flourish” this is the exact empathy more women need to have for this generation’s men. So many are just looking to find their place, but modernity is making it difficulty, for everyone unfortunately. A little bit of empathy from both sides will go a long way, certainly.
You can see how much women care by the pure lack of female comments here….
Plenty of women have empathy and see a man’s “potential” and in the end women are left with the short end of the stick because men dont want a partner-they want a wife who serves them. Men want empathy-but its one way.
@ you’re projecting what women want
This toxic masculinity ain’t so toxic if all men stopped working as a protest
'Protest' against what? Against women? Against their existence? Against them not doing what you want them to? They are not 'things' to make demands on; women are people, like you, who only want to be in relationships that are mutually respectful and kind. Why should they accept less? You wouldn't.
Not just men that had no male figure, but also had a distorted projection from their bad moms
True. Many of them were raised by singel mothers and when people shame men for showing any sign of masculinity or what they call "toxic masculinity ", ofc they will listen to someone like andrew tate, bc thats the only place where at least some healthy and good masculine traits are being excepted and not shamed until you wanna end yourself.
But why didn't they have a male figure? Why do fathers leave so often?
LOL, you had the privilege to have a mom but put her down. Your father was the one being absent not your mother. Misogyny goes deep into this issues
@@progamer-df3be Andrew tate is garbage, not surprised men are getting hate. Ladies won't upfront with that nonsense anymore. Is not a shame to be a single mother , I a shame leaving your family, check your points
@@marte1376 My friend, the commenter never said they had an abusive mother. They are just saying that there are men out there who have definitely had abusive mothers. That is by no means misogyny.
"Safe areas for men... the industrial sector", you mean the workplaces workers fought hard to escape since they were incredibly dangerous and paid so little that their families could hardly get by? Yeah, such a shame they're gone.
u expected anything logical to come from a womans mouth? lol
That was a funny part ^^, must've been very safe, to lose your damn arm ^^
she literally says "safe areas for men to work, for example, industrial areas" WTF?! When a woman who wants to "help" men thinks coal mines and construction sites are "safe spaces" then she's doing more farm than good.
Safe means job security here. Their jobs weren't at risk of being taken by women. So the jobs were guaranteed for men. That doesn't take into account the competition for the job among men themselves, but the point is they didn't have to compete with anyone other than other men for these jobs
Sure ain't any women stepping up.
My high school buddies, 4 of us gen X men, (all of us workplace leaders) have 4 daughters and 6 son's combined. All 4 daughters are working full time, graduated post secondary, full time post secondary, and no mental health issues. 4 of our sons are medicated for mental health issues (1 has commited suicide) 2 are in apprenticeships. None are in post secondary or have graduated post secondary.
I am sorry to hear that, wish you all the best
So is it the girls fault they are more successful than the boys?
Why do you think that is, that your daughters flourish while your sons have not?
There is a thin line between male protection and domination, the same between female care and control. It is essential to be aware of this line and be mindful of communication of personal boundaries. Maybe this way, the couples don’t fall into the trap of games and fighting. The balance is a key I think 🔐
Totally agree on this.
The key is clear and honest communication because people truly believe their interpretations of '' how '' something is said vs the literal '' what '' is being said is the absolute truth.
It's odd how scenarios in our heads supercede what is present in reality right in front of us.
I can admit to doing this time to time.
Personally I want a woman who can protect herself and doesn't need me to do it for her
@@painunending4610 That's LITERALLY impossible. You can expect women to protect themselves from other women instead of you the man having to beat up another woman for her putting you in danger legally speaking but you have to protect YOUR woman from other men. It's like a woman expecting you to give birth or breast feed.
Yes, this comment!
What a sharp observation!
Anti male extremism leads to male extremism. Potentially decrease sexism equally for better results. Now go one to dismiss this and call me sexist to keep the cycle alive.
Okay. So would you say anti-female extremism leads or female extremism? Bc women weren’t even considered people deserving of human rights until really recently. And still aren’t many places.
And even in the places where they are on paper, they don’t experience that day to day.
So…….. men can violate and subjugate women super mega extremely for decades….
And never change when anyone asks for rights.
And only extremism even granted women basic human rights….
And now men are MORE EXTREME?
I don’t see men as more extreme the more extreme anti-maleness gets.
They were absolute dictators when the world was entirely pro-male.
This video even shows how the more extreme anti-maleness is, the softer and more pathetic men get.
Bc abuse works. That’s why extreme anti-femaleness worked for literal millennia.
Amen brother
What this take is missing is that even in the face of anti-male extremism, males still have a choice in how they behave. The world is not happening at you, or to you, it is happening inside your mind. And that, friends, is completely up to you.
@@minimcune :|
This comment should be at the top.
I support this lady for providing a mature and balanced perspective.
I think of my father’s generation regarding masculinity. My father was of the WW2 generation, and they all had a sense of industry, modesty, and humility about themselves. They lived quietly, responsibly, and cared for their family and friends. After seeing so much trauma and heartbreak through the Depression and then WW2, they looked for peace and simpler pleasures. They were not full of themselves. We’re they perfect? Nope. But they were good, and they enemy of the good is the perfect. I often think that if men today remembered them, we’d be okay.
Fought the wrong enemy
@@firstlast8258 Can only imagine who you think the "right enemy" was. sigh.
There is nothing more powerful than empathy. The sad thing is that if a man were to make these arguments he would immediately be dismissed.
You're right, there's nothing more powerful than empathy. I think we need empathy from and for both sides as we think about this topic. We need to understand the struggles men are going through and the valid emotions they are feeling and social change they are experiencing. I also think in that same thought we need to empathize and acknowledge with WHY men are dismissed when they talk about their struggles and remember the whole picture. I myself am a woman, and was going down the bitter road, until I read Bell Hook's The Will to Change which gave me so much empathy for men and what they are going through without taking away from what women have gone through and continue to go through.
@@haybale392 Why do you think men are dismissed when they talk about their struggles?
@@ForAnAngel How many times have women bashed "mens rights activists"?
@@ForAnAngel It's difficult to hear the woes of the group that has dominated the other for centuries. It's hard to empathize with the group that have been and still are the oppressors and have had and still have so much privilege. Imagine there are two siblings, one had their college paid for, a large allowance, and great mentors that help them succeed. The other wasn't allowed to go to college, they weren't given an allowance or mentorship. Now, that first sibling is talking about how difficult their life is because someone took away their allowance, but they still have the free education and mentorship. How would you expect the second sibling to respond to their hardship? Would you expect them to only have empathy and support that first sibling? I'm not saying we shouldn't have empathy for men, I'm just saying it's sometimes hard to and I hope men can understand why.
@@haybale392 I hope you can understand that the men struggling today haven't "dominated" or been "oppressors" for "centuries". You can't treat a 20 year old as if they were around in the 1800's.
Your question actually reminded me a lot of my own life. I'm actually a man with a twin sister. When we graduated from high school my parents couldn't afford to send both of us to college at the same time. So she went away to college and I got a job. I gave most of my money to my parents which they then sent to her since she was too busy with school and having a social life to also get a job. After she graduated I saved up money to start going to college but after just one semester, my mother got sick (ALS) and so I had to drop out of college to earn money. When she got real sick my father had quit working to take care of her full time and she couldn't work either obviously because she was dying. So there I was working 80 hours a week making minimum wage trying to support myself and both my parents. I did this from age 19 to 21 until she died. Where was my sister? Off living her life, she wouldn't even come visit let alone help out.
So please don't tell me that because men had been in charge for centuries before I was born that means that I didn't deserve any help. You have no idea how hard some men have it. I lived my whole life and didn't even realize I was autistic until I was almost 40. You say you have sympathy for men but then you blame men alive today for everything men did for the last few centuries.
This video was pointless. It offered zero "solutions" to the "problem." A woman spent the whole time talking about how poorly men are doing and then closed by saying "Hey, women (duh), this affects us too." And that was basically the video.
Richard Reeves lo hizo mejor.
Agreed
I'm not saying men aren't in crisis, but I will say a few more positive and optimistic things now. (I am a 23 year old man myself so trust me when I say that I understand a lot of the issues).
The shift in society is difficult, a lot of things are changing, dating life is changing with social media and dating apps, work life is changing with feminism, just like expectations of us as men is. Emotional maturity is valued more and more among people and I feel like lockdown contributed even more to people being more aware of their inner life. Sensitivity, openness, empathy, social skills etc. are more important than ever and almost necessary to live a normal healthy life. And a lot of men weren't exactly taught a lot of these skills when they were younger, or at least not to the extent that women were taught these skills. But we men are just as capable of them.
With a changing society, the future might seem uncertain and confusing when it comes to which role we are supposed to fulfill. But I am optimistic that with a changing society, many new spots where men are needed, will come up. In fact I experienced that I am far closer with my male friends due to the shift in society, more vulnerable, more emotional, more connected and even hugging became more normal for me with male friends and not just with female friends. Think of things like ballroom dancing or choir. These are two examples where we as men are desperately needed... and I am sure there is much much more. We are not replacable, we are just simply not needed the same way we were needed before.
When it comes to dating, women also feel conflicted oftentimes, just the other way round. Many women don't know what to expect from men and have way too high expectations, i.e. they also don't know their role anymore. The statistics provided in the video can be read like that too. When really what I learned through dating shows me that women, just like men, are really just looking for someone to truly connect with and who cares about them and who they can laugh with, cuddle with and share time with etc. Most women, from my experience, don't want a super swole, stoic, cold hearted, 7 figure earning man. And the ones who want such a man are going to end up as unhappy as the men who think that that's what all women want.
Go out, be social, be kind to others and be okay with looking goofy or stupid while trying to find your place!
I personally must say I don't feel much of the issues anymore that men are supposed to experience these days...
By withdrawing from society you only really punish yourself ultimately. You miss out on life, not the others.
Take care you guys, society needs you!
"Emotional maturity is valued more and more among people ...... Sensitivity, openness, empathy, social skill, etc. are more important than ever and almost necessary to live a normal healthy life"
I think you nailed it.
I believe what you said is highly relevant both in employment and the dating scene.
@@helens4037 women show up and shut up finally start listening stop blathering choose humility for a second... nope i'm not MISOGYNIST.
Imagine being shown a list of truly amazing qualities that 80% of people, if they spent 10 years of thier lives working on could not obtain. And then being conditioned into believing your only value is in how many other people will profit from your blood, sweat, and tears.
Here here.
At the bottom of a stall at work, someone has written, in teensy tiny writing:
"its all a lie".
She doesn't get THAT bit. The slave solidarity of expendable labour
Can you elaborate on what you mean here
@@3rkid I can certainly try my best...
Growing up young men are taught a great man is strong. An exceptional man is courageous. And an outstanding man is honest. The teacher will use the words great, exceptional, and outstanding because he understands the time, effort, and willpower it takes to truly embody a single one of these characteristics. And anyone can take a look around and see that the people who actually have these traits are few and far between.
Then at some point Women saw a couple of these truly exceptional human beings and in stead of appreciating the hard work and sacrifices it took to gain these beautiful traits they decided that this is the new standard of what a man is. They say a man is strong as if someone can become strong without being beat down over and over and over again. They say a man is courageous as if finding something truly worth risking your life for is a simple task. They say a man is honest as if true honesty comes without years of hard work understanding yourself and the world around you.
They have taken what we saw as a nobel and selfless gift and somehow turned it into a tax that we owe them.
@@3rkid I can certainly try my best...
Growing up young men are taught a great man is strong. An exceptional man is courageous. And an outstanding man is honest. The teacher will use the words great, exceptional, and outstanding because he understands the time, effort, and willpower it takes to truly embody a single one of these characteristics. And anyone can take a look around and see that the people who actually have these traits are few and far between.
Then at some point Women saw a couple of these truly exceptional human beings and in stead of appreciating the hard work and sacrifices it took to gain these beautiful traits they decided that this is the new standard of what a man is. They say a man is strong as if someone can become strong without being beat down over and over and over again. They say a man is courageous as if finding something truly worth risking your life for is a simple task. They say a man is honest as if true honesty comes without years of hard work understanding yourself and the world around you.
They have taken what we saw as a nobel and selfless gift and somehow turned it into a tax that we owe them.
I can certainly try my best...
Growing up young men are taught a great man is strong. An exceptional man is courageous. And an outstanding man is honest. The teacher will use the words great, exceptional, and outstanding because he understands the time, effort, and willpower it takes to truly embody a single one of these characteristics. And anyone can take a look around and see that the people who actually have these traits are few and far between.
Then at some point Women saw a couple of these truly exceptional human beings and in stead of appreciating the hard work and sacrifices it took to gain these beautiful traits they decided that this is the new standard of what a man is. They say a man is strong as if someone can become strong without being beat down over and over and over again. They say a man is courageous as if finding something truly worth risking your life for is a simple task. They say a man is honest as if true honesty comes without years of hard work understanding yourself and the world around you.
They have taken what we saw as a nobel and selfless gift and somehow turned it into a tax that we owe them.
I've rarely, or practically never seen a woman rationalize men's problems in a way completely in line with how female's instincts work when evaluating a man. And this case is no different.
💯🎯💯
It's a little wack to mention title 9 without talking about the lack of push to support men. Female graduation has been higher for a while without a proper reaction. I grew up with women-only career support opportunities. There were none for men. They focused on gender over people.
Already married, already had kids. Aside from providing income to them through the workforce, I am no longer useful to society as a man, only a consumer.
If you have a job thats somewhat useful to society, you can still feel useful. Otherwise find something useful to do if thats important to you. As I man your main job to society isn't providing seed anymore, humans are very very far from going extinct.
How come it is that you see getting married and having kids are the only way you can contribute to society? Do you really belive that's true?
Now it's time to get involved in your community. You are not just a consumer unless that's what you want to be. But there is plenty of opportunity to be useful in your community, just find your niche and decide to what extent you want to get involved.
And how exactly do you think your wife can now contribute to society in a way that matters more?? If a "man's job" ist to work and to consume, and to provide for his family, doesn't that mean that the woman has one less thing to offer? Because she would not have to "provide". This makes no sense and just makes you sound very unsympathetic towards women who, derived from your statement, have even less "use" once they reproduced and got married.
Or you know, he talked from his perspective and didn't consider the women's one because that's not the topic of this thread?
This is as impartial and wholesome a conversation as I’ve heard yet. Naturally it took a woman to convey this.
Well done Ms Emba.
Now, please do an episode called "Toxic Femininity" on the disappearance of women!
She won't cuz she's s hypocrite
Maybe "Toxic Feminism". These women encourage men to embrace their weak, shy and non-masculine side, then they refuse to touch them with a ten foot pole.
Why should she? Women and Men aren’t facing the same obstacles, that’s the whole point.
I dont wanna participate in a society who dont value men, you guys can have it, Ill do my own thing in my room.
Society does value men, as long as they are valuable. Those who choose to contribute to the world around them, doing what necessary to remain capable of contributing, are valued greatly. Those who choose to only take from the world and expect things to be provided are not valued. Find the method of giving that gives you the greatest joy and make that your life's work.
@@catatonicbug7522 i agree, that's fair point, those who dont want to work shouldnt eat, and I dont encourage men to fall into victim mentality, but the analogy of what society is doing is like they making you work in exchange of a fake food, or they are making you work in exchange for an apple at the top of the mountain.. You get what im sayin? It's rigged bro.. Ive experience it, I was once a hard worker and optimistic. Now I let the women run the world, I dont even care anymore lol
@@catatonicbug7522buy bitcoin or gold and wait five years and you will have a greater return on investment than you can ever get with any other use of your money or time. That’s how much society values us- a pet rock with 0% yield and provable scarcity will be rewarded more than any of us will ever be.
How do I know? It’s what I did, and it set me up for life. And it kills me to know that I could have even done similar returns by sitting on unopened pokemon cards.
These things are all worthless, but our contributions are regarded even less.
@@catatonicbug7522 that's the problem, men are the only ones in society who need to bring value to the table first
@sneakykidugo How do you figure? We all have to bring something to the table to be valued by society. Different people value different things, so we attract the portion of society who values what we have to offer. That is one reason why more women than men are graduating from universities these days. Women in general are choosing to offer academic skills more and more, to attract the portion of society that values those skills.
I thought this was an amazing video. It was insightful, balanced, empathetic without pandering. I thought this was wonderful. Men ARE in crisis right now and it is bad for society. Men and Women need each other and we should elevate the gifts and talents of both. Thank you for your work, Christine.
One of the things that I haven't seen anyone really bring up is that traditional femininity has been demonised as much as masculinity in men. Its not that masculinity isnt being celebrated it is...but only when females display those traits.
The identity crisis men feel is that we can't be praised publicly for acting in line within our instinctual nature which in a really fucked up way, feels like our identity was taken from us and now the world has stacked the deck so high in favour of women that theres fuck all point in trying to keep up and compete for most blokes.
I'd argue that over 90% of men are pissed off with the system, with being silenced anytime one of us pipes up and then have our point deflected back to us and labelled misogynist.
And thats why MGTOW has blown up.
Why contribute to a society that doesnt appreciate you?
Why trade your life for humanity when all you get is disrespect or are ignored?
Its never been Men vs Women. Men LOVE women.
Its Men vs The System and they de-fang us by chemical, societal and nutritional castration.
And i feel sorry for the women who have been used and manipulated to be the weapon of this war
excellent take
Bravo.
Chemical and nutritional castration? You can’t choose what you consume?
Putting Andrew Tate with Joe Rogan and Jordan Peterson as a package is like putting Marie Curie and Ada Lovelace with Kim Kardashian as examples of similar women. Not that Jordan and Rogan are that great but Tate, my god that's off the mark...
Thank you Christina for addressing this important topic with empathy and precision.
You identify what is happening but failed horribly on the reasons why.
Watch it again.
Bruh jordan peterson literally tells them to take on responsibility instead of blaming it on the world. Nice research
what would SHE know?🤷
Absolutely, you can tell she is completely biased
You're not listening to the constant, whining, subtext; everything Peterson says is laced with grievance and a sense of unfairness in the world. Poor him, he has to fight against all these oppressive forces... That's why so many of public appearances are designed to be combative ("watch him 'destroy' that woke person...." blah blah).
This is by far the most professional and objective video on masculinity I have ever seen.
I absolutely agree that this topic should be discussed although I wish that the masculine is no longer defined in comparison to the femininity but on its own. Finding the meaning of one’s life and identity is responsibility of every human being, weather man, woman or else…
Why single out forecasters?
And what attributes should that be that define masculinity on its own? 🤔
Masculinity and femininity are intertwined though. You cannot have one without the other or the person becomes "toxic" aka unbalanced. A leader has both of those traits in him/her, the masculine and the feminine. Has nothing to do with gender. Thinking and feeling are intertwined as well, you cannot have one without the other.
She has some good points in the issue. But the main driver is social media and online dating. Women are on about 4 different apps so they don’t want to settle with too many options available
I agree. The same goes for femininity being defined on it's own without the comparison.
We'll probably find that both men and women have a lot of overlap in what we all desire as humans and that being human in general is a spectrum. What most of us have in common is the basics of wanting the right to earn a living, to take care of ourselves and our families, to contribute to society, etc.
No one should be shamed for showing emotions, empathy and compassion. The same way no one should seek to purposely do harm to others.
It all sounds simple until ego is brought into the conversation, which is where many problems stem from. Maybe we as humans should focus on questioning and examining ego on our way to discovering a fulfilling life.
Well, that would really suck if the community of men had become so weak that they need to have their story told them by a woman. She didn’t say anything that we haven’t already been saying for the past 25 years in the men’s community.
Thank you. Both your wisdom, and empathy were crystal clear.
It is sometimes hard to discuss concerns about the education gap that has grown between men and women (acceptance rates, attendance and dropout rates) without sounding like a conspiracy throwing incel. Good to have collaborators that can help in the discussion.
What I don't understand is if the male to female ratio is about 1 to 1 how are 34% of women single and 63% of men single? I would think that for every single man there would be a single woman. Are multiple women dating the same man or are there many more gay women? What's going on there?
Asked myself the same. 😂 Indeed there are studies that over 80% of women are indeed bisexual. But you would see lesbian couples all over the place. Not true.
Also there are not that much women into polyamory to get to that results.
Because women 18-29 date oolder guys compared to them, while men don't have the same chance. And because a little group of few men, the ones perceived as attractive, go with many women.
Of course wealthy men dating several women. Are you in Kansas or what?
@@andreyb4142 you think a few dudes partner multiple chicks in a harem like situation? 😃 This is not the ottoman empire.
Are you from Utah? 😂
Multiple women are dating the same man. It’s very normal now.
Thankyou for doing this research and publishing it well. You talk for all men.
Yes, there are many many single men of all ages living alone these days. I live in a rural community where there are scores of such men living in little corners where rent is cheap or zero. They appear to be fundamentally content.
But, what of their female counterparts? They are alone too in the towns and cities. My only exposure to them is in supermarkets where the blunt end of our changed society is revealed. I see a new expression of femininity - frumpy looking women within the age group 30 to 50. Rings in their nose and tattoos that they will one day hate and are obviously childless. They look confused and so they should be. They got their liberation, to what? This? Who to blame?
Happiness and contentment come from within. We are what we feel, which changes like the weather. “Take Courage and be a Man” was the moto of my secondary school. I constantly remind myself of this. It starts by not blaming others for this very difficult life. Every one of us is good at something. Follow that path.
No, I am not being sanctimonious. I learnt 3 days ago that my wife has been having affairs. I am writing to remind myself of what really matters, and to heal. I am now one of those single men, and not ashamed of it. This masculine strait is a treasure guys. Be strong. You know what kind of father your children would want. Be that.
Take care there buddy. Sad to hear it.
you are the sucker that she trapped to pay for raising her children.
men are sexual predators. women are financial predators. that is natural law(reality). For me I choose not to be a meal ticket to someone else.
yea thinking like that is how your wife cheated on you with Chad
@@jamesphan8306 dumbass
@@jamesphan8306 thinking like what? be specific
Many men just "nope out" and leave it to the rest of you to deal with the consequences.
a lot of men have wised up. the men a woman like this narrator sees, are the suckers who are still playing the conventional game and being used and exploited
the "weirdos" that are alone are quite content and FREEEEEEEEE
I have terrific amount of respect for them.
Important topic to discuss. Reading the variety of comments, I feel real heartbreak. I hope that men and women, especially the younger ones, can establish healthy communities and can improve their ability to relate to each other.
Finally someone speaks my mind about these influencers. I see men getting the wrong image about being masculine, or they think men and women almost like different species, when in reality we are just HUMANS, and that means we both have human qualities like being emotional or craving for love.
Be respectful and give everybody what they want, after you ASK them actually, don't assume something just based on their gender: "women need this, because of their nature..." says one of those influencer men. Well you aren't woman, you just THINK women need this, it is not a fact.
And lot of women still think they live a harder life, just because they are women.
Just treat each other as a fellow human being. Men need to be appriciated a lot too, feel needed and loved too, just as women.
Mgtow are not neets. We enjoy having checked out and have good careers and lives. I myself am a manager in one of the largest small arms manufacturers. We are earning for ourselves and leave women to do the same.
Exactly; this video was another let down by someone who refuses to change her flawed (feminist) premises. Every feminist who attempts to explain or understand why everyone is miserable invariably seems to follow the formula of "Women are doing better than men!!! Men are not capable of adapting!!!" as if empowering women implicitly dis-empowers men (power struggle and politics between the sexes), which is a typical feminist take. Annoying. MGTOW is the adaptation, and women seethe over it.
bro you done gave up on women. what's left? the big gay?
@@paratrooper508 get out of mindset that sole goal of any activity is to cater to women. Learn that they are not important and not the goal ever. Think bugger. To decide destiny of world and fate of civilizations. That's what men of past did. This advancement in which you are living happened because some men had focus much beyond catering to women. Many of them never bothered about women
Having equality should not mean being identical.
How about an aspirational vision of femininity? We act like women and femininity are just fine but in reality they both have huge problems, including being the primary source of the "men are garbage" narrative. So myopic, how is this not on Little Think?
I agree, we should hear a video on this subject too.
Literally 99% of conversations are on how men are bad and women have it so hard and need support. The second you have a (relatively badly done) video on how men might be struggling someone pops up “Kant wee tok li bi moha bout woooman?!”
She has some good points in the issue. But the main driver is social media and online dating. Women are on about 4 different apps so they don’t want to settle with too many options available
Because no one wants to even admit there is a male issue. Women issues/rights have been talked and debated about for the last 50 years
@@drradon Can't we talk about Both women's and men's issues without either of us mocking the other?
We just need to operate a meritocratic society instead of stacking the deck to place men at the bottom of the pack of cards and selecting everyone else from the top. Simple fairness to all regardless of sex, gender, race, disability or religion.
Christine, you were an astonishing breath of fresh air. I learned several new things in this video.
The real problem is that people don’t mind their own business.
She seems to forget all of the societal discriminations that men face. Instead of acknowledging how society is geared to harm men, she places blame on the individual. "If men would just adopt a healthy masculinity we wouldn't have these issues". Thanks for the victim blame.
She's effectively mansplaining ironically enough.
EXTREMELY IMPORTANT VIDEO! It's calm, balanced, straight to the point. Amazing! It's okay to say what we all think!
Lovely. What better way to learn about masculinity being attacked than to hear it from a woman. Like she would know. Not to mention, she makes it sound like it's our own fault.
Exactly
I think it's good hearing it from a woman because women should recognize it? All the past videos I've seen on it have been men.
@@ryanlee6291 Ok so would it be ideal for me to make a video regarding pregnancy? Men recognize it after all.
@@riffz6065 pregnancy is a crazy thing with wild side effects that are often not discussed so yea actually I think it would be good to learn about. I get your point though, as a man you cannot fathom the process of giving birth. I still don't mind some acknowledgment from women regarding the subject because it's a problem for everyone, not just men. We're all in this together, after all.
I believe the words ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’ have become flexible, hard to pin down. I don’t think that’s bad, but we have to adjust. What we’re looking for is caring, responsible humans.
There are huge gaps in this story. I am not young. I work 65 hrs per week just to pay bills. No spare time, no spare money, no spare energy, youth has left the room, you don't have any answers!
The first part of the video describes a lot of real issues. When she begins to ask the question "where are those neets" her attitude doesn't match the reality of the situation anymore. It's possible that she just doesn't get what men are going through, because female reality and personality is just drastically different than those of males. Comparing JR and JP to Andrew Tate makes zero sense by the way, because neither of them, ever, tells people out there that they should adopt a victim mentality and blame the world. The opposite is what they've been advertising for, for a long while. So I don't know how this idea got to her. Andrew Tate is a different subject, he's far more complex to describe, but from my view, his moral code and messages don't produce a net good and aren't in line with JP and JR. So please don't put them all in the same boat.
The conclusions towards the end of the video make sense, I agree fully with them. If one sex loses, both sexes lose. And we need to figure out how we bring men and women together again, if we want to prevent all of us losing.
Problem statement: where are all the men? Answer: incels, MGTOW, video games, and manfluencers. Solution: redefine masculinity. Implication that men haven't been able to define it themselves, so one can deduce who should be in control of redefining it.
💯🎯
Damn a brave woman with empathy, knowing the backlash she can face with this in todays age is courageous.
Most men dont have it good, shes the first woman ive seen that seemed to grasp this concept. Like 10% of men have it good and get news covered on them( these men will foreber have it good because nature will kick in for many to reward men who already have it good so thats never going to end).
Men dont have it good and a man getting bullied and abused is pretty bad as your isolated and won't get taken seriously and probably further bullying will happen. Many people can't seem to grasp this concept either.
Phenomenal video. Thank you Christine for being so kind and real about this topic. It goes a long way. My 2 cents: it seems to me that if gender is a construct anyway, why try to reconstruct it? I think Christine’s point about channeling the traits that often come out of testosterone in a positive direction is a good one, but at the same time, many men do not reflect those traits very strongly while many women do. Let’s change our paradigm from “how to be a good man” to “how to be a good human”. As Christine said in the video, neither gender likes to be boxed in. We don’t have to live up to someone else’s idea (or even our own idea) of what being a “real” man is. What if Einstein or Stephen Hawking or any of the big scientific or moral reformers of human history were fixated on these arbitrary traits of manhood? If Einstein were focused on getting big muscles and becoming an Alpha or whatever, what would the field of science look like today? Our value as men does not come from these traditional “manly” traits. Our value is inherent, and I believe it’s best for everyone if we free ourselves from others’ ideals and just work on being good humans while laying out our own path toward what we deem as valuable.
Imagine judging the opposite gender according to what you've seen online.
Imagine being preoccupied with titles, power, and positions.
Imagine never enjoying your life because the world tells you what to think and feel.
Imagine being desperate to be seen and accepted by people who don't like you or know you.
your #2 and 4 seem to describe Trump!!😁
Masculinity can be whatever you want it to be. You don't have to follow what others did. You get to practice it in a way that fits *you*. Bonus points if you can benefit others too
One of the few channel who is daring enough to talk on this topic
I realized that the secret to making a million is saving for a better investment. I always tell myself you don't need that new Maserati or that vacation just yet. That mindset helped me make more money investing. For example last year I invested 80k in stocks and made about $246k,but guess what? I put it all back and traded again and now I am rounding up close to a million
Thanks for continuing updates I'd rather trade the stock market as it's more profitable. I make an average of $42,500 per week even though I barely trade myself.
I'm favoured financially, Thank you Jesus $36,000 weekly profit regardless of how bad it gets on the economy.
How
..? Am a newbie in crypto investment, please can you guide me through on how you made profit?
I'm surprised that this name is being mentioned here, I stumbled upon one of her clients testimony on CNBC news last week.
Wow I'm just shocked you mentioned Maria Davis, thought I'm the only one trading with her
I’m struggling to see how she is helping men with her vital statistics.
Well, a lot of women would never listen to a man talking about men's problems, so she might be bringing awareness to a more diverse demographic but I don't think that she's doing a good job of it.
@@nackedgrils9302 "a lot of women would never listen to a man talking about men's problems" That's why I ignore women's problems.
Jordan Peterson does not advocate that the world has done men wrong. If anything he advocates that men take more responsibility in life.
Oh, so now society suddenly cares about men? Please, spare me.
Now do one where a man tells me all about femininity..
There are plenty, mate! Just look for them, they're mostly shite
you are a joke
Men are here to build, develop, protect, teach, and love. Male strength is not destructive. Masculinity is not toxic. Women are here to complete us, not to compete with us. Their rage come as a result of ages of mistreatment. We need to embrace it with empathy, not to fight it with hatred.
This understanding of men is largely predicated on urbanization. Once the wealth of this country runs out, the shifts what’s really important will prove disappointing with the progress we’ve made for equality between the sexes. Developing nations are just beginning what we have been through these last few decades and will struggle similarly as we are today.
One of the greatest things you can do to be a man is master your cell phone and internet usage.... distraction is one of the greatest challenges of our day.
Explained here much better than by most other channels, creators and influencers. It can really be quite simple and much less divisive than it is 😅
Literally the opposite of what Jordan Peterson says. His message boils down to "take responsibility for your own life."
It's sad to see this gender war unfolding... Another video showcasing women's answers to the man loneliness problem was mostly "Good for them!" , "Boohoo, poor men getting what they deserve" , or even "More of them should honestly unalive themselves" regarding a statement about male suicide rate going up... Men are definitely not getting the response and the empathy they seek and need. Thank you for this video and putting this message out there, sadly I have a suspicion that this problem is gonna get much worse before it gets better...
4:00 NEETs
5:00 Manfluencers
8:00 Positive masculinity
The fact that you lump joe rogan and jordan peterson in with the likes of andrew tate, tells me everything I need to know about the rest of this video.
It isn't empathy. Toxic amounts of misplaced empathy is exactly how we got here. It's discipline and leadership that men are attracted to. Weak men seekout empathy.
💯🎯💯💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾
It's almost like the world spent their whole childhood telling them how evil they were, and how women needed more than they did because they could DO more than they could, better, smarter, faster, and the men... believed them.
IT'S ALMOST LIKE THE WORLD TOLD THEM THEY NEEDED TO STEP ASIDE AND LET WOMEN DO IT, SO THEY DID, AND NOW THAT SAME WORLD IS GRIPING ABOUT HOW THEY GOT WHAT THEY WANTED.
Just relax and let it fall down. This is what we do. Why trust women ? Never ever do it
Also worse are chameleons who pretend to support dudes but then shit on them
I'm grateful to you for your research, your book, and this video! As a mother of 3 boys, it's heartbreaking to see males talked about negatively and undervalued by the media.
Is this where we complain that she is womansplaining man problems?
I was waiting to hear what example they’d show of JP ‘speaking badly of women’ (knowing that he doesn’t) and when they finally got to the example it’s a clip of him talking about WOMEN’S STUDIES 😂🤦🏻♂️
This is such a thoughtful and much needed perspective ❤
This lady really came up here and said Jordan Peterson is telling men they're victims? Jordan bootstrap Peterson? Tell you have never listened to someone without telling me you haven't listened to them. F me, the ignorance in what shes saying with the confidence to make this video. Its like listening to a octopus talk about what birds go through.
She is the proof that education doesn't mean smart. She seems to have done some research but landed miles from any actual accuracy to the point.
Sorry, but i HAVE listened to Peterson, too much actually, and his entire schtick is based on grievances. Oh those woke people, they're so unfair to him (poor him); oh those professional standards people, demanding he live up to the expectations of his industry (poor him); Men have been so put upon psychologically, so culturally oppressed they need his special skills to 'bootstrap' themselves up from their lowly place.... EVERYTHING he says is laced with grievance and a sense of unfairness.
@LaurenWilson-cm8ic the irony.
You have a good pastime of creating strawman, I see. None of that is factual. It's mischaractorizing his words and situations to your own biases. It's a form of projecting. Based on what you want him to be saying, instead of what he is actually saying. Oh, look, I made a better point than you, and I didn't have to use any immature snarkiness. Good luck.
None of your points were close enough to the truth to be valid. So I'm not even going to correct them. Lol
I'm 50 years old, never had a longer relationship, and while I have identified the personal issues holding me back, I often ask myself: Is it really worth the struggle? What if I got finally through my emotional mess and childhood trauma, crawl out of my hole, only to find myself still unwanted, unseen, unlovable? What if my vulnerability and wish for intimacy is abused, and I end up in an even deeper hole than I am in now? What if I overcome my trust issues, just to get my trust shattered by the first person I open up to? As more I think about it, as cozier my current little hole appears. This world isn't made for me, I hate its rules, its stupid games and its ideals.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
You are worthy just by being you. You have innate value. I see you.
If you sit back and hyper focus on the bad things that might happen if you do this or that then you will be one very unhappy person.. get out there and start doings things
I love you man
That was wonderful. Brilliant, and we should be grateful for this thinking being made so concise, that's no small thing.
Here's a thing to think about in terms of how we get past this. We need to think about all the things that we do as a society - what actual work is required to do those things, how well we can automate them, and how well we can make this benefit everyone in the short and long term. We are absolutely capable of inventing a much better future.
it's appalling that a woman is talking 11 minutes about men and masculinity. try the other way around and see the response