I have had conversations while in the restroom but that is with long term co-workers. Basically we are just working needed a take care of nature before moving out to do our work. I can also see some using a male space to have certain conversations that may not be best spoken in public
@@pharuhs It's more the gesture. Men very rarely receive compliments/gifts unless it's expected (like a birthday or something) So a spontaneous gift/compliment is going to stick with a guy for a long time.
When i was young, i usually only got hugs from my grandma, now i sometimes get a hug from my mom once or twice a month. and only recently have i gotten some friends that word for word ask me "are you okay?"
It's true but..I don't think many men would actually want to get hugs from people they're not attracted to and being asked if "they're ok". I wouldn't. No hugs unless I wanna fuck you and no "are you ok?" It's so cringe it hurts.
Everybody has their own shit to deal with. But between being treated as an object and being ignored entirely, I think they're both awful, but I assume each side would be envious of what the other is having anyway.
I'm a gay man and I always tell my girlfriends to remember that men want attention too, tell your boyfriend that you think he looks handsome, you like his new hair cut, he looks sexy in that outfit, hug him, ask him if he's ok, women and men are different, a woman likes to talk about her problems, and a lot of men just want their women to sit with them peacefully while they work through their stress, but the end goal is the same, if you have a boyfriend who treats you right, make sure you remember to do the same
'Man up!' 'Walk it off!' 'Be a man!' 'Suck it up!' 'Just push through!' How often we as men have heard people say to us in our life? What do we do? We suck it up and move on.
"You throw like a woman." "He holds a grudge like a woman" "You hit like a woman." "You are over sensitive/weak like a woman. Goes both ways. Don't get me wrong. I don't think guys get enough attention but both genders need to figure out what the ever loving heck they are. This world no longer knows what a woman is either we tell our kids its this pathetic submissive little bitch or a rough and tough MASCULINE tomboy who is overly aggressive and a complete hardass for no reasoning. And with guys we tell them to be authoritative but then also tell them to be soft then get mad when they are too soft or too hard. We really need to rediscover what it is to BE a woman or Be a man.
it's how the world gets built, it's how the allies beat the axis, we do it because sometimes it necessary. I have a wife and kids, half the things I do are because it needs to be done and who the hell else is gonna do it? I wasn't born this way but trauma will make you strong or it will break you. I choose not to be broken
Being a man isn't lonely, it's solitary. Loneliness is a result of how we process the solitude and not everyone will experience it the same. It's not good or bad, it's what it is. I don't want a relationship with other dudes in the toilet, and they don't want one with me.
“No one told me how hard it was to be a man.” YES WE DID. It’s been said over and over and ignored just as many times. You just didn’t care until it happened to you.
@@crescentedwards851 It is exactly the case, though. Were he a cis man being vulnerable, all the comments would be something along the lines of "Man up", "suck it up", "shut up nobody cares", etc. Why? Because no one cares about men. Not even men care about men, because they have the weight of a lifetime on loneliness on their shoulders, and they don't need one more lifetime.
@@crescentedwards851 F**k off , I hate when people normalize the issues of others because they don't wave a rainbow flag.. It's the whole majority of men , trans or not.
I found out yesterday that this month, June, is men’s mental health month and no one talks or even know about it. It shows how little society really cares about men. Stay strong boys 💪
Wow….. this month & the last 3 I’ve tried to kill myself multiple times it is mens mental health month. That’s kinda wild to me. I never knew that was even a thing
Hi!!! Since you believe that no one will listen to someone speak about men’s mental health I would love to give you multiple instances where you are wrong! 1. Therapy exists!!! Not just for women but for the men too😨😨 shocking right!! 2. We are currently in the month of June! Which is men’s mental health awareness month! (Also pride month) 3. True friends and true family!! 4. Me!!! 5. God I would also love to point out that we do not live in a world where men are discriminated as a whole. White men (specifically cis) are the least discriminated people in the world!!! Maybe you are a different race that what I’m assuming you are but typically amalas viewers are exactly as I listed. I am not going to invalidate your guy’s feelings but simply point out how you guys claim you have such a hard life 😢 but really! Us cis white men have it the easiest!
I’m a single father, and I can tell you nobody cares if a man is suffering, we are expecting to be strong and push on (hence the term “man up”) I was backstab by my best friend which caused me my marriage, lost my job due to covid shortly after, had my savings depleted by my family and once I’m broke, they abandon me. Now I’m slowing trying to get back on my feet while trying to raise my son but I am often been viewed as weak for not being able to keep my marriage together, selfish for not having the income anymore to spend for my family and arrogant for wanting to keep things to myself since no one ever listen to what I’m going through. But then again being a man I have to push through, as father I have to stay strong, all so that I can shield my son from my reality, so that he can laugh, smile and have a full belly everyday. Not one person ever asked me if I’m doing ok, not one person wished me a happy father’s day, not one person wished me for my birthday. This is my reality as man, sorry for the long comment, just wanted to share what I have to go through as a man. Have a lovely day
That sounds very tough I know this is not going to help much, but after some time there comes relief after hardship. You are doing great and you are a great father Hang in there PS: Happy Father’s Day 🎊🎈✨ PPS:Happy Birthday 🎉🎂🥳
Hey buddy, keep you chin up. I went through a similar situation as you. You're far from alone. We live in a BS cuck society that understands nothing. What else would you expect from people? Most people are brainwashed morons nowadays-- they are herd animals that do not care about what is just and right. They would be happy to stab you or I in the back. But we must be strong brother. We are better than them. We do not need society to tell us we are worthwhile. F'em. Keep your chin up.
Im a biological man, and holy shit yeah it is so lonely. Even surrounded by family and friends. There is no empathy. The only respect and validation you get for thoughts and emotions are through action. Your thoughts and emotions just simply do not matter. If you work out, have a job, be charismatic, that’s what will make anyone want you or to be around you. You have to have something to offer. You don’t matter. what you have to offer and what you can do does. We are just simply not valued as a person needing love or even as a life with equal value. We are valued as tools. Something to use.
I agree. However, I no longer feel lonely most of the time. However, that's because I joined a church that's focused on men. They promote marriages where men show love to their wives and where wife's show respect to their husband's. I think that's something the world and most women don't want to acknowledge; is that men want RESPECT and to be RESPECTED. We men need that respect.
As a 37 year old male, I have never been hugged for comfort, genuinely been asked how I'm doing, or gotten any emotional help without paying for it. As a man, you have 1 objective, and 1 objective only. Work. That's all we're supposed to do..
You need to investigate Norah Vincent. She wrote a book called "My year as a Man". She decided to spend 2 years as a man to see those privileges that everyone talks about. She ended the experiment after 18 months because of the mental distress. She said she suffered serious mental issues because of what she went through, and how she was treated by women. Sadly, after a number of stays in mental institutions (which she also wrote about her issues and the lack of care received) she took her life a year or two ago. It really is a profound statement on not only the unseen side of being a man, but an indictment of the metal health industry.
Vincent didn’t kill herself because of the fact she chose to be a man. She was a broken person who kept playing characters in her writing and in how she acted, she was never honest with who she was and never developed her true self. The distress of that had brought her to self harm many time prior to the experiment. She didn’t write a note, you can’t know why.
@@luck3yp0rk93 but she did write about the difficulties she faced portraying a man, and she did write about ineffective state of our mental healthcare, and you'd be putting your head in a hole if you didn't think those experiences played a part. Also her not knowing her reasons for taking her life don't negate what she uncovered in her time as a man. She went into it thinking it'd be great and she'd suddenly have all this privilege she'd been lacking only to discover that it wasn't actually easy or enjoyable. I'd say she was probably more affected by these things bc of an already unstable mental state, but it should be noted that straight men are feeling demonized by society more than ever and it's not easy for them.
I'm a 46 year old man. Yes, as men, we go through this. We just don't talk about it. You learn to make friendships that are meaningful. Being a man isn't easy. We are built to protect and work.
@@sophieruby5893 no, being a woman isn't easy. We do get that. However, when you defensively assert that "being a woman isn't easy", as if this conversation right here somehow detracts from that fact, what you are doing is highlighting one of the myriad of reasons why we men keep our mouths shut. Why we assume that it's safer to just keep silent and stoically drive on. I mean, I don't mind being open about it because we don't know each other and aren't likely to ever speak again. However, when you do that, you're adding to the problem. If you wish to be seen and heard, recognize that it's a two-way street. We need to be seen and heard, too. There's a time and place to make yourself seen and heard. Pay attention to this video, because you're getting inside information that most women don't get, using language that you probably understand better than we men do.
So care about other man's feelings around you. Me as a woman do not understand why no one starts caring about each other while everyone craves it apparently.
@estherbosbach377 being self centered isn't a man problem, it's a people problem. That's a good point though, men (and all people in general) should understand that we're all going through something, I think most people just get caught up in the weeds of thinking their personal problems are the most important problems when in reality nobody really knows who's problems weigh heavier than another's. Women should be more considerate of the things men go through, men should be more considerate of the problems of one another. In my experience women are already cut the world of slack in the working environment at least. Female coworker of mine gets to go home with no penalty (she told me they don't give her points) whenever she has her period, I personally got a point for having to leave early because my wife was having a medical emergency and needed me to come get her.
@@SalamiCellar I am Dutch and we have a working culture where at the basis, everyone goes home at 17 h, men an woman, since we have strong unions. And have 3 to 4 weeks of vacation time. Conservatives should consider this since it gives more time to personal and family life and actually investing in strong family bonds and family values. And more time to personal problem solving. Working time is thus also more organized effectively. Bc the working goals sill needs to be managed and done in the working contained time, leading to more effective communication, social skills and collaboratory empathy. Hence led to the famous Dutch 'rudeness', which is really a result of interpersonal high trust. This leads to a High Trust society where everyone is able to benefit of.
I was talking to a gal in my 20s getting to know her and ended up spilling a bunch of life crap to her in the name of openness and honesty and realized after awhile that I had made a mistake. Confiding in a woman as a man is a massive error and by doing so will cause her to lose a certain amount of respect for you. And it does make sense. Women were not created to carry the weight of a man's stresses and life probs. It wasn't a deal breaker for her and I didn't realize what I had done at the time but as I matured into my 30s knowing what I know now I won't ever rant about struggles with any woman ever again.
I remember when my husband hugged me goodbye at the end of our first date. For me, it felt pretty platonic and was just a nice gesture. He told me months later that hugging me had almost made him cry, not because he was overly attached me at that point but because he realized that our physical contact was the first time another person had touched him in years aside from the occasional handshake. His family isn't very physically affectionate, his guy friends never hugged each other, and he hadn't been in a relationship for almost 2 years. As a woman who is used to casually hugging everyone, that blew my mind and made me so sad.
I had my first dates recently; after my divorce 13 years prior! I did cry real tears the first time a man put his arms around me protectively in a hug! It has been wayyyy too long.😅
I've been going through emotional withdrawal these last few weeks, due to the realization that no female wants me. I lied to myself for long enough, this is just acceptance of defeat. The worst and most unfair thing is I can't tell anyone that, especially women. I've been daydreaming about hugging a girl constantly. Just a hug. And I'm only 24
I talk to people .I get hugs from my family and friends.. and I'm never seen as wierd. And the only people you should be showing your vulnerability to, is family and friends
This is the male experience. When a man says “nobody cares!” it’s because everyday we look at society and all we see is just that. To be a masculine man is seen as toxic and standing up for yourself means you are insecure and narcissistic. Young men are lonely for sure. I see it every single day
As an 80's man I would say that we are not cold at all. We are emotional and vulnerable but don't show it that much. Our friends are from hobbies, schools, present or past jobs, etc. In public restrooms we mind our own business. Unless we know someone it's "shut up and do your your thing". I appreciate hugs but physical contact from people I barely know feels awkward. I hate being interrupted when I'm working, thinking, or soul-searching. Loneliness is bliss and I appreciate it by episodes but couldn't stay alone forever. I know I don't represent every men but I'm sure some will relate...
I think you do a good job for representing the majority of men though. Cheers.
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Well perhaphs if we wouldn't conserve partiarchy, religiousity and gender roles, and have classes for children teaching how to express and deal with their emotions and relations, then men wouldn't be alone and women wouldn't be harassed. But being woke and conscious of your emotions and psyche is too woke and therefore evil apparently to this channel.
This is one reason why Jordan Peterson's message was so powerful amongst men. When it seems like the whole world was piling on and telling us we're all toxic and oppressive, many guys out there just needed a friend and a little understanding. Maybe a hug now and then. Peterson's revelation about how little encouragement was really necessary, because many young men have never had any at all... Heartbreaking.
We need a father figure that is capable to understand what is happening in the world from competent male perspective. Peterson is like a father, a friend and a philosopher all at once.
Yeah Im sure hitler stalin and musolini just needed a hug too. Its funny bc all those JP types say women will be old and alone if we dont settle for some abusive crusty broke unwashed ass. The projection is crazy.
The thing about Jordan is that he mixes self-help and politics (he didn't use to do that as much). The people who listen to him are often at a low point in their lives and are impressionable to anyone who can give them some answers to their problems. It would be good for people to get self-help that's more apolitical. Just focus on yourself and make gains. 💪
I'm a middle aged man, single and never married. I am alone, but I don't get lonely. I like my peace and quiet, and I don't want to give it up. No one complains that I left a dish in the sink, or took too long in the shower, no one wakes me up on the weekend before I'm ready. No one tries to convince me to sell my motorcycles so they can travel. I like it this way. I'm not against having a GF or wife, but until someone proves to me my life will be BETTER with them in it, I'll stay single.
I don't know that this is a male characteristic. I am a woman, a cis woman, and I feel the same way. I think what you are describing is maturity. The act of growing up.
@@Choyce7 And where do you think you reside on the bell curve of the population of women? Do you think most women think this way? Why isn't their a MGTOW movement of women going their own way? SIGN language doesn't change reality ma'am!
As an autistic woman I've never had a deep feminine friendship and the deepest friendships I've had in my life have been with men. There are definitely nuances to both sides. Not all Women are these accepting angels that society paints us out to be. Many are bullies.
A man's life is made from this saying, "you know who cares about your problems more than you do? No one does, so deal with it." We learn this early on in life. You're not going to keep getting bailed out. Once you're out of high school and your parents house, no one is going to save you. No one will come to your rescue. You need to be able to do it all and hopefully be strong enough to take care of others along the way. Otherwise your going to end up alone.
Depends on your family. If you're a man with a tight knit family you won't be harshly put out to go figure it out. My grandma always allowed my bum uncle to stay with her no matter what he did, chances and chances
Just you and your trusty steed/dog. Its a wild wilderness out there. Stay warm and safe. sorry ive been playing red dead for 6 hours a day and i think i have a problem.
The loneliness really is no joke. As a man nearing 40, I've battled major depression since grade school. Then my wife of 12 years, who I thought was my best friend too, demanded a separation. Our friends became just her friends. One of our kids won't speak to me anymore because of lies she was told. I asked a couple of her female friends to put themselves in my shoes and was told to man up. Middle-aged men have an incredibly hard time making new friends. No support network. Lesson learned: If you're a man, you're considered expendable. Your existence holds no value, only what you can offer others. It's up to you to make your own happiness before your own mind begins to attack itself. Sink or swim, guys.
Have a good life Chris, and thanks for sharing your experience, I wont last too long in this crazy world but atleast lets enjoy simple things of life, like a cup of tea looking the night, or playing videogames, btw we are forgotables. 👍
Find your tribe brother, whether that's gaming friends, or boxing friends, there is a group of men interested in what you like and pursuing the things you are passionate about
As a guy you don't talk about emotions or anything that can make you a burden to people. Your life's purpose is to be a problem solver and burden remover. Being a man is extremely lonely because you're only good enough to be loved based on what you can provide. I envy women, children, and pets. They're loved unconditionally and that was a shell shock growing up. Love and attention went from being unconditional to "well you're a young man what can you provide in order to get that "
Yeah I never drop my problems into anyone else's lap. I deal with it as best I can, take a hit if necessary and then dust myself off and get back to work. My first employer told me when I was a kid: Nobody likes a complainer.
You nailed it. Men are taught that having issues or problems makes you a burden on someone. That's why when I'm sick I don't even like being waited on. If I have a problem I don't like being an issue to other people. Meanwhile on the other hand society teaches women to share anything and everything and constantly unload everything. I've seen my dad look terrible, you can clearly tell he's sick but he's still outside working. I'm like what are you doing go to bed. In his mind he's being a deadbeat and a burden on people to be sick.
as a young woman i can say that most women still feel inadequate, no matter the love they receive or even the skills that they have. i believe it has something to do with the way women perceive the ratio of positive to negative things. it‘s quite skewed towards negative things
To take a little pressure off of you: Women don't need a problem solver. They really appreciate you just actively listening. In return you can expect a woman, who supports you when life gets rough. So none of you is lonely. Problems can be solved together. And women are definitely not loved unconditionally. Just as men might only feel loveable when they perform or provide, women are judged by their looks and feel less than when they don't "fit in". Two sides of one medal. Key is to find the true value every man and woman is given by God ❤
@@EGarrett01 It doesn't? We aren't responsible for the way we behave towards others? People being systematically cruel and selfish is "God's" doing? Sure. 😇
Not to be mean or anything, but... This guy has spent 8 years lonely. Im going on 28. And I dont go viral when I tell people how I feel. I just get told to shut up. Or ignored. And I don't know what's worse when women all say Just be yourself. Nah. You don't want who I am. You don't even want to get to know who I am. That's the hard truth. He went viral because he's trans. There are literally billions of men who feel the same way but don't go viral, and worse, have been conditioned against doing what made that trans man go viral at all costs.
Exactly. Thirty years of solitude and loneliness are irrelevant if you are a man. If you're a woman, a trans man, and, more recently, a homosexual man, things are different. Suddenly, your feelings are validated, your experiences meaningful, and your existence appreciated. But for you, me, and all the other men? We may as well all die in a ditch, and were it not for the jobs we have to do, none would shed a tear.
@@TheSorcerer1 These unresolved feelings tend to lead to civil war, historically. The only time they care about how we feel is when we start killing each other. And that's a big problem.
@@TheSorcerer1because us straight men are supposed to be strong and not emotionally weak I get what ur trynna say but find someone who can give you that unconditional love and purpose you won’t be lonely anymore and talk to god because that’s what worked for me. Never been more happier ever since I met my wife and now we are having a daughter
@@smokeenenra57 Happy for you, man. Glad you've found someone you could settle down with and be happy. Of course, finding someone like that would likely resolve the emotional turmoil for most people, but what of the men that don't find someone like that? Why is it that men must be emotionally strong, mentally stable and stoic regardless? The point wasn't that men can never be happy, that would be a ridiculous point to argue. Personally, god has never helped me. Godly people have only ever brought pain to me, so I'll avoid it, but I appreciate you sharing what helped you.
@@TheSorcerer1 ok I can understand ur point, not every man has a person that loves them and because of it that can result in loneliness,but what I was tryin to say is that I was just like that into I met my wife, and I think if a man can find what he wants in life he should be fine , and thank you for that comment man I hope everything goes good for you
I have incredibly deep conversations with my friends and our friendships are built on years of love and understanding. Most men do. The thing is whether people like it or not, this person is not a man, so they will never actually understand a male brain or male friendships. They’re viewing the world through a female brain inside a man’s body and that sounds like hell.
@randalljames392 I have a handful of friends who are thoughtful, considerate, and who are capable of debating deep and complex topics. Only a handful, but they are there. We also don't have those conversations every day. Mostly we screw around like we are all still mischievous teenagers, even though we now know we aren't indestructible. I suspect the only reason we have our friend group is because we were all very intentional about first finding, then maintaining that capacity for deep friendships.
I thought the same thing. I have four brothers and a bunch of uncles,and male cousins. If one was crying like this and another walked in the other would say, "quit being a girl" then they would go out and do something and within that allow the other to know it's gonna be okay and they are not alone. But I also grew up in a different time.
As a man, we generally build a core group of friends in high school and college. Those friends become lifelong "brothers". It doesn't matter how much time passes between calls or hangouts it's just like we were hanging out the day before. As men age, our responsibilities grow, making less time to form those deep and long-lasting friendships. That's why community is so important whether it be church, shul, heck a bowling league, a place where dudes hang out, not a bathroom
Definitely not a bathroom. When a dude walks into the bathroom, he is driven to do what needs to get done so he can get OUT of the bathroom. 😂 But my fiancée tells me sometimes they have seating areas and stuff in the ladies room, so maybe they are incentivized to hang out in there.
@@RoyalFizzbin Fun fact: the seating areas are there for mothers to breastfeed their children. It's not actually something that was added to encourage hanging out, nor was it added because we hang out there. The hanging out still happens regardless of how nice the amenities are anyway lol, although the seating areas are still nice to have if you're lucky enough to find a bathroom with one. :) I theorize that a major reason why the women's bathroom is such a notorious socialization area is due to women's inherent physical vulnerability. Socialization and relationship building is one of the main evolutionary strategies we have for keeping ourselves and each other safe, and the bathroom is a place where we'll run into each other a lot. Since men cannot enter, we can relax and be a bit more unfiltered in our interactions (though I think the same principle applies to men with their locker room talk too). The bathroom is also a place where we do our business, fix our makeup, deal with periods, freshen up, etc., so it just naturally becomes the place where we are at our most vulnerable and outwardly flawed during the course of the day, and thus a place where we can do little things to help each other when needed. That's also why men entering the women's bathroom is such a big deal, because it's an encroachment upon an area where we are very vulnerable and need to feel safe.
According to my adult son, there is an unspoken etiquette in men's bathrooms which includes personal space and spacing as well as only tracking movement by peripheral vision. Facing someone directly is a breach of that personal space. Conversation is also very limited.
I sympathize with the people in these instances. The entire trans ideology is “oh, if you just do this youll be your true, authentic, happy self!!” But they don’t tell you how harmful it actually is. You find it out on your own when you wake up from this haze.
@@Sippington_McDrinksalotPerhaps this is a biological male. Idk. I do know that biological males have become public enemy number one, in about five years. Being also straight anti white, in my case, I confirm that it’s not been encouraging. Judgment is better reserved for behavior, not genetics. Accountability should be given for that which is controllable.
They literally sell people gender "euphoria". Euphoria doesn't last. That's why people get addicted to substances that cause it. When that transition honeymoon period is over...I can't imagine how crushing that would be.
@Sippington McDrinksalot that's the issue. They literally have zero real narrative of what it means to be a man. Just what they've pieced together.. but it'll never be a complete understanding. Which is clear just watching the video. I feel sorry that they were sold a bill of goods that transition was the end all be all answer. Without knowing what it really is like to be a man. Not just look like one.
As a 32-year-old guy, I've had exactly.... one male friend my whole life, everyone else is just "acquaintances". Loneliness is part of our duty as males, but place a 100 men on a battlefield and you'll see how we all become a single unit of brothers. We need shared struggle to bond. If there's no shared struggle, we are just acquaintances. That's why stoicism should be taught at schools.
So true. Reminds me of football in school. You'd be out on teams with people you never socialise with, but as soon as the match starts, everyones in their strongest positions, calling out passes, switching positions, screaming their lungs out. Men and dudes, in general, are the best when there's a singular goal we're all trying to achieve. But in today's world theirs nothing like that. We're in a woman's world now, as much as they may face its an environment where they can thrive the most.
@@s0ne01 Yes, they thrive off of a chaos and destruction. It's why they're naturally so drawn to drama. Amongst all the confusion they can manipulate people and gain power advantages. They don't want to live in a man's world because they can't function optimally in a word of harmony and order-- it bores them to death. Jordan Peterson explains this much better. And it being a woman's world is precisely the reason why men need to become men again, otherwise it's the collapse of our society.
Men create bonds when they go through hardship together, they stay true to eachother throughout it, and then celebrate together. Those are the ingredients. You will never make friends when working a desk job. Maybe if there's some sort of major crisis and you two pull together to solve it, but that's a rare occurrence.
Interesting. As a wife who was always concerned about my husband's lack of real friends the information about males bonding over common struggles really helps to understand him better. I would have never thought about that. Thank you!
@@s0ne01I know a goal that men should achieve. The American Indians said through an ambassador. Women have been silenced for many centuries. That's why they disappeared. The men now have the task of doing everything they can to enable the women to return. So that the balance between the sexes is restored. In this way the earth can also come into balance.
Part of being a man is to deal with the loneliness in a healthy way. In part, it's what drives us to get married, have kids, connect with community, and appreciate those around us.
If man never feels the pain of loneliness or singleness then he will not feel the need for relationship. He'll just overindulge in his passions be that business, work or hobbies.
always got so mad when id hear my female coworkers complain about their dating life and then proceed to mention all these guys in their DM's. Then they turn around and tell me how easy i have it.... i have mever been dm'd by any girl besides scammers.
had the exact same situation with my female coworkers a while ago lol. I didn't even knew that's a thing because i've never texted a random woman on instagram and of course never got a dm from a woman
A lot of men are complaing about that but a lot of the men that slide into their dm and approach them are weird and awkward. It's basically like being a millionaire surrounded by homeless people. What I like as a man is that we have the choice to speak to who we want. I used to be super shy, I learned about game and became better socially, hardest thing I had to do in my life but at least I managed to get some pssies ahah. My advice to anybody that feels super lonely: go to south america or asia and install tinder. It's just different women that will make it easy. And they are way nicer than wester women
@@pierremichel1334your advice is essentially: "if u can't get girls in ur home country, move to poorer countries with lower standards just to get pussy" and u consider that a good advice to pass on to other people? Not a "go outside more, talk to more people, get out of your comfort zone, work on your physical and mental health" bro literally just dropping the craziest advice like that's an example people should follow. I mean it does work you're right but is that even sustainable or something people who actually want a decent partner would want to do? Nah it's just advice for getting girls in a easier way when u can't get them in ur homeland, essentially ur telling people to become passport bros 😭
I feel this 100%, and when someone cares (when it's not your family or close friends), it feels odd since you aren't used to getting this sort of attention
As a man by the time u realize ur alone u love yourself and u understand how much easier life is alone... once u understand that then we want want a woman and family
I am a 26 yr old male and I just walked home from the store not far from my home. 3 women were walking a head of me and they called someone and said I was following them....I was walking home minding my business and the cops stopped me to figure why I was following them. Stay women it's easier.
@@DLWalker0513 That makes no sense. Those were delusional idiotic women wasting the time of police - how does that relate to you refusing to help someone that is ACTUALLY being assaulted? Is it because you think all women are like that so they don't deserve to be saved? Then you've had terrible experiences with women if you think women are like that, you've either had no girlfriend or a girlfriend that cheated on you. I have to tell you an unfortunate truth. The problem of you not getting along with women isn't because of women, an entire gender. You're the problem.
Same thing happened to me this group of young women were occupying ALL the sidewalk so I was just walking behind them as they walk slow AF then they all turned and stared at me as If Inwas following them. So freaking selfish
I tend to think male friendships are just as deep and meaningful as female friendships. We just take a much longer time to truly trust, rely on, and confide in our friends.
@Aiden Crouch -- This is incorrect. It's not to say that woman-woman friendships cannot be as deep or as meaningful as man-man friendships are, but women interact with each other with a default setting of friendliness. Both men and women do not expect a woman (who is not obviously deranged) to be (1) physically violent or (2) some other kind of hazard. Both men and women do expect a man to have the nonzero possibility of being (1) physically violent or (2) some other kind of hazard. And people approach these standards differently. So, woman-woman relationships are by default easier to form and more common, but genuine trust takes time.
Yeah, it takes a lot more time for us to build up deep and trustful friendships. But when we've one, you can really rely on it. In my experience was it on part of basic training during my military time to build up a kind of this friendship. We call it comrades. And everybody who remember this training and how you got through, will say only as team and thx to your comrades.
The beauty in a brotherly bond is something extraordinary don't let society have you believe it isn't. We would follow a man to hell with enough inspiration. Over the trenches son.
You cry like that in front of other men, you’ll be told to sit down to pee while somebody phones the whambulance. So have a nice tall glass of man the fuck up and deal with your shit cause collapsing into an emotional oil spill is not permitted.
Seeing how lonely men feel I started including my little brother more in activities, even the ones that I usually only do with my little sister. If the world doesn't treat him fairly, I want to be the one thing that does.
I once had a girlfriend as me about who supported me through my youth. She had a very loving grandparent who was always positive and supportive so she assumed everyone had that. When I told her I only had myself she was shocked. Just couldn't understand that. I thought it was normal. As a man your mostly left to figure it out for yourself. Fail or succeed it's up to you. No shits given.
My ex always said i didnt have friends because i was weird. I dumped her, 2 years later but yeah i did, i was able to be myself and only then i understood, nobody is going to be there for me if they dont want, only i am. I have a new gf and she is everything a guy can ask for, dedicated, sympathetic, supportive, she hypes me u0 as i do her, i am not afraid to hide stuff from her because i know she will try to understand or at lesst be there for me no questions asked. My ex was exactly the opposite she was a tyoical girl who had everything in thw tip of her fingers, never had to worry about money, never was alone because she is the kind of girl who is never alone, she had male friends who she had kissed before and i had to shake their hands, and las byt not least... she had friends who wera d1cks (both male and female). It was annoying being there and not being me and she never was with me she kust wanted the confort. I hope she fixes herself in europe and does. What she proposes and changes, if not no guy will ever want to be with her
As a man, we grow up with all this stuff already installed. The loneliness, the disposability of our sex, everything. Over many years it takes for a man to even accept and live with this feeling. To think one can just shortcut all that development by transitioning, man, you're in for a ride!
This, ive felt loneliness my entire life. I didnt even grow up with my mother or close family. This feeling of loneliness is a part of me now to the point that I dont know what normal is like. Imagine a woman who is always loved no matter how bad her personality is, always have friends and the world revolves around her to suddenly become a man. It would be a literal exodus from everything she knew. People who say men and women are the same are liars!
Dicks are easily replaced.. like within hours you could go out find a new dick.. then leave him too. Guys gotta work to get a woman and keep a woman, and we all know that within men and women that WONEN hold all the cards.. what’s a guy going to do.. threaten to withhold sex.. there’s literally a power dynamic and they have it all, so our sex is literally disposable, you can get a guy for sex out of a vending machine pretty much that easy.. men however well.. haha just look at all the ridiculous dating coaches and swag consultants and alpha sigma delta Greek letters or whatever.. men have a whole subculture of trying to out-game a woman they’re interested in.. because we gotta be nationally ranked social chess champions to get laid these days..
As a guy, yes it is lonely. But growing up and being born a male you learn to live with it. We deal with our emotions differently. Unlike most women, men usually have to rely on a small group of close friends in order to open up to. Life is hard dont make it harder by pretending to be something you were not born to be.
What a load of shit I'm 68yrs old we had poverty we didn't have time to be a emotional wreck like you we where true people who had to get on with our lives and you young think you've got it hard get a grip I wish you well my friend just think of someone worse than you and you will feel better
@@tailsfrontiers1224 True but not all men kill themselves because they fell lonley. Sometimes its feeling useless. I'd rather be kicked in the nuts eveyday than feel useless everyday.
Being a man is about being unwanted and working to be wanted. It is about being unloved and working to be loved. It is about being accused for EVERYTHING negative, and learning to withstand that treatment. We do not get to have people want us unless we meet little checkboxes. Our "privilege" is to be vilified and unwanted.
I have to say it depends on the individual themselves. I've dated a guy and I was hugging him and ask him "how are you? How was your day? after he arrived from work with dinner waiting for him, laundry done, clean house. But, I was seeing, hearing and feeling from him he is not into this friendly and compassionate thing like hugging. I felt that he didn't want to be hugged when we were alone, however, he only wanted to be hugged and hold hands when we were around his friends. I was seeing and feeling as though I was his "Barbi doll" to him around his friends. Then, he started telling me that I am too distant from him. Well, I felt like I was just his roommate and cleaning mate especially how he was speaking and treating me around his workers the same exact way as those working men. I couldn't handle this for too long and started acting like him or completely ignoring him. The relationship went down hill very quickly. P.S the guy had a much closer relationship with his electronics (phones and computers) even at dinners, yes on our anniversary. It was never a romantic dinner for me when he was absolutely hugging his phone on our special day year after year. He was on his phone the entire time when he introduced me to his parent for the first time at dinner. His parents were more interested in me than him.
I'm a man and I'd say I have about 10 friends. I've known all of them most of my life. Some of us are super social and go to "guys night" at a buddies house every friday, Most of us go every 6 months or so. We treat each other with respect, because we respect each other. We genuinely care about each other and end our phone calls with "I love you man". Surround yourself with good people and you don't need to worry about things like being vulnerable or ego nonsense. It sounds to me like this person misses being seen as a woman.
10 good friends? I have read ‘a man with three good friends is a rich man’. I have three good friends, I am a rich man. I love my brothers. You sir are a billionaire and I am pleased for you. Treasure your brothers.
Understandable and yea guys have those friendships, but usually you jave 2 or 3 friends like this the real good ones. ( My view on this is propably sqewed by being introvert, but still) you sre lucky to have 10 buddies like this, but still I would gues that you dont talk about your emotions all the time and if you do you most likely joke about certant thinks. The I love you goodbye, is most likely cultural think as in my language it would sound really weird. But we also have like 10 different meaning of "I love you"
There was a post on Facebook that asked "what would you do if you woke up as the opposite gender for a day?" So many women said they would go out and sleep with as many women as they could. And all us guys could do was sit there and laugh cuz they really think it's that easy. They had no concept of rejection.
As a 29 yo biological male, ive never seen a single one of my friends cry over life. It just is what it is. If they thought life for a man was sweet, unfortunately they learned the hard way that isnt true. I feel for this person.
At night when thoughts getting deeper and much more depressing, much of them are suicidal, some guys tear up a bit, not even crying, but their eyes are sore. But nights passes, they wake up with blank face and spend whole day without even a thought about sharing it with somebody else. Because even this man himself doubts that he will get any help and not just disgrace himself
Even if a biological man does cry about his outcome due to trauma, for example, it doesn't make him less than a man. But transitioning into the opposite sex and expecting the result to be better/different is purely self-deception
In the past I have wondered how much people assume that the troubles they have in life are not shared by straight men due to their inherent “privilege”. Like perhaps they believe that these men are just walking around totally chill, never feeling vulnerable or self conscious to be anywhere at any time.
Even as a child, when my father told me to "Be a man!", I didn't quite fully understand at the time but I damn sure knew what he meant. Suffer because you can take it. Suffer so others don't have to. BE A MAN.
Man transforms to woman, wins woman of the year award. Woman transforms to man, complains about how hard & lonely it is being a man. Yet they keep talking about male privilege.
Men bond by completing tasks together. Respect is earned by those who are willing to do what is required. We don't build bonds verbally, we build them through actions..
The relationship she is talking about is the type of relationship that I seek with women but not with men. I don't feel a desire to know any man on that level. I would rather argue and compete with my friends.
This has not been my experience. Sure, there is a certain level of connection through completing tasks, but it's always left lacking. I have always built relationships verbally and emotionally, and it's so rare among men. The tasks are the potential gateway to relationship, but until we bare our souls and feelings and desires and vulnerable life pursuits, it's all pretty empty.
As a biological male, I can honestly say this resonated with me on some points. I may not need as much social interaction as what girls normally look for and initiate, but I've recently moved to a new job and making new friends/having a social life, or being able to get a hug from someone is incredibly hard. And it sucks, it really really hurts sometimes
If you're relatively young, enroll in a class that interests at the local college/university and go to clubs/events If you don't need the college credit, check to see if you can formally _Audit_ the class for zero-cost while maintaining enrollment status student entitlements/discounts (don't over-play the hand though). If you're older you can still try that, might be out of place though. Look for professional events in your field, or volunteer at recreational/athletic events (festivals/marathons). The volunteering will give you a reason to be there if you feel awkward even going in the first place... and it will also give you a reason to talk to people/give people a reason to you. When was the last compliment you got? You probably remember exactly when it was and who gave it to you (if it hasn't been too long). That's one of the tricks. Compliment something of his (car, wallet, suit, etc). BetterBachelor had a video (don't remember which one) where he sent a letter to his neighbors because some of the neighbor boys were on his property during construction and wanted to warn them to be safe.... got flooded with welcomes from the neighbor men inviting him to all sorts of shit. You can always send off "Hello i'm your new neighbor, here's what I'm good at if you need help with it." I'm sure I don't have to tell you that most married men are just itching for a way to get away from the house and find new pals to "go out with the boys". You might not even be married/dating and you're looking for that too. Just some things to try.
are you a e believer? If you truly are....start going to church....I get hugs from both men and women every Sunday and it's amazing... problem is most people today are godless, so this doesn't resonate with most.... sad
As a guy who’s still fortunate to have friends, I’ll have this to say : it’s precisely because we’re so used to loneliness that we value our friends so much and keep them as long as we can. Because we know the moment we lose them, we likely will not make any new friends. And loneliness in men fucking kills us. You wouldn’t believe how lonely my dad has grown over time, when I acknowledged how much he suffered from the abuse our mother has put all of us through he burst into tears. He went 30 years without being able to tell anyone. Of course we knew, but as his children, he tried to shield us from her first and foremost at his own expanse. He couldn’t tell us these things for the vast majority of his life and ours. Being a man is not easy, but most women these days believe it’s all smooth sailing.. They’ve no idea how wrong they are.
I have very few friends, and I’m 43. My wife and I are best friends. I love spending my time with her and I love my own company. Most perfect le let you down anyway.
One of the most frustratingly toxic ideas in all of modern society is the idea of the "mama's boy" as a weakness or pejorative as if that makes you less of a man. What women don't understand and can never understand is how most men for most of their lives receive no positive feedback, no emotional security, no attention, no understanding, no happiness, not even a HUG from anyone except their moms.
If you're lonely and online complaining about it, 9x out of 10 something is wrong with you and you haven't figured it out yet, a feeling of loneliness only comes from the idea that you couldn't interact with someone if you chose to, and damn that's a horrible place to be in for anyone.
True.The value of a man lies in what he can provide with his actions.Competence,leadership,experience,etc...If you fail at in earn respect NOBODY its gonna give you the time of day...
@@kevinleewilliams5119 " a feeling of loneliness only comes from the idea that you couldn't interact with someone if you chose to" A female that isn't comfortable in their own body transitions to have male secondary sex characteristics and alters their behaviour to blend in socially has a hard time connecting and interacting with other males? Who could have possibly seen that coming?!
I’m not anti-trans, but someone who decides to transition should be aware that their emotions won’t change even if their appearances do. They cannot expect the opposite gender to sympathize. Even married couples (husbands and wives) can’t understand each other because of emotions and lack thereof. Imagine a closeted trans man going up to a buddy in tears saying, “Why won’t you be my friend? You just don’t understand how I feel!” 😂
Yea exactly, no matter how much u watch and learn and study, its a whole another level to live in the other gender's shoes, sometimes it takes a life time experience to adjust with your natural gender, imagine someone adding to their plate more struggle.
If my buddy came to me crying like that I would make him suck it up. Male friendships are usully that you are dicks to each others constantly and than you laugh it out over beer. Me and my friends have a saying. "You recognice a real friend when he is a dick to you consistently. " You can talk about deaper stuff from time to time, but in 99% of the time those conversations arent about feelings and end quite fast and talk returns to the normal male small talk.
Actually it's really easy ...so long as you didn't grow up in a repressive society like America, where feminists attack men just for being men, like for example by labelling literally EVERYBODY as potential rapists that need to be educated not to be rapists. And putting young boys down, saying you can't do anything right unless a girl first shows you how and a girl will always be better anyway. That's the message Hollywood has been pumping out for many years now into young boys' minds.
And of course it's a total lie. Girls aren't better fighters after training for 2 days than the guys who been at it for 10 years. In the real world, these girls could never beat any guy at all. It's all just a big feminist lie and a total joke. And it's supposed to make girls feel good about themselves, when actually it barely helps in that regard, except make girls needlessly think they're better than they actually are... ... and the effect it has on the boys is that their self esteem just gets completely destroyed. And as a consequence of this society men themselves also become toxic to each other. They start to believe the lie that they must always turn to only girls for comfort and guidance. They make fun of other guys or act awkward or extremely offended if one gets too close them, instead of just playing it off and having fun with it as friends.
They act like what they've been taught, that only a woman can get things right, and you can only talk to her about your emotional issues and not with any other man cos that's just soo unmanly or gay and you're not gay, AREEEEE YOU???? That sort of attitude that you should only ever turn to a woman, can actually be dangerous, because SOME women can be emotionally violent, much more so than another man and will therefore abuse or manipulate a man emotionally, to the point where he's just totally lost all will. Also, like the girl in this video said, women don't even know what it's like to be a man, so how are they going to give the best advice? The logic doesn't even make any sense! It's all just so lamee hahahahahaha... BUT I do feel for the guys who fall for this crap and who don't know how to play the system.... who got the totally wrong idea of what it means "to be a man", which to them, is apparently looking like "the rock" loool. They never left the country and seen what other societies are like in the east. Not everyone is as repressed as the west
Just pray you're not a man who ends up in a nursing home. Then you find out you really didn't have friends afterall. Faith is all you have left in the end.
@@DaNinja60 If you end up there, you got noone to blame but yourself for raising your kids in a way that they won't take care of you when you're old and you have to go to a nursing home in the first place
As a biological man I agree 100%, honestly I’ve never seen a lonely woman ( I’m not meaning there are not). Personally for me, is really hard to make friends or establish relationships.
Difference being that men are built to handle solitary lifestyles. Women do not handle being solitary nearly as well (if at all really), which is why they naturally gravitate towards things like having long conversations in a bathroom stall with people taking dumps in the background. They do it because they are naturally desiring far more social contact than a man would ever need. There is nothing wrong with that, just like there is nothing wrong with men not speaking more than one word (if any) as passersby to other men.
You hit nail on the head Amala. This type of emotional connection is not what we as men want from each other. We still make strong friendships, but they're based on shared interest, trust, and loyalty, rather than emotion. We generally seek to make our emotional connections with women, and to our children.
A few years ago I heard someone say "If sports didn't exist, it would be necessary to create them so men would have something to talk about with each other."
I find this interesting because as a kid I (a woman) really wished I could be a boy for the opposite reason. I was lonely and really wasn’t able to form friendships with other girls. Meanwhile I saw my brother making friends with everyone he met and eventually having a core group of very close friends that are like brothers to him. I felt like an alien with the girls I grew up around but got along well with the boys. Constantly being separated by gender pulled me away from my male friends as we got older; by middle school I felt very alone and thought being a boy would have fixed that. I think that a lot of the young women that try transitioning (especially in or after puberty) are the ones that never felt accepted as women by other women.
I totally agree, and that is what happened to me. When I was little, all my friends were boys except for one girl. But when I started to grow up, and puberty came, no one but 2 of my friends said that they were in love with me. After a while, the group dissappear.
That's the upside of being a guy growing up, our friendships are way different from how women's are.. Our friendships is almost like a tribe mentality, we stick to each other through thick and thin! But we also learn from each other, we use each others successes in life as motivation to become better almost like a competition (even tho it's not, just hard to describe exactly what it's like).. I know my friends will have my family's back even after i'm gone.. But later when you become older you go from being just a boy to being looked at as a potential treat from everyone both men and women, so it can quickly turn dark and cold
Yeah it's a double edged sword for women. Lots of superficial friendships but hard to find women who are deep and don't just affirm everything you say and talk shit behind your back. I bet your brother rarely sees any of those old friends of his and as he gets older they drift further apart. We all would be better off living in a smaller communal / tribal society.
I think a lot of trans people are kidding themselves when they think they know what it feels like to be the opposite sex. This video kinda proves it. This person has transitioned, and was shocked at how it actually feels to be a man. This kind of experiences should not be swept under the rug.
This conversation reminds me of an experience I had when I was 14. I went to a small high school and sat next to the same guy in almost every one of my classes that year. I'd say we were acquaintances (not friends because I was very socially awkward and shy at that age HAHA) and talked a decent amount. One day in our math class, we finished a partner assignment early and were chit chatting and he told me that "he liked me because I was nice to him and most girls weren't." I guess the point I'm trying to make is that it makes me sad, as a woman, that basic respect and kindness was enough for someone I didn't know too well to notice and mention it to me. Obviously I will never fully understand what it's like being a man but as someone who has spent a lot of time around men, I think you are the coolest. I genuinely mean it too and I'm not sure how much it means from a random TH-cam comment but I hope any man reading this realizes how much I appreciate and respect all of you. Keep your chin up :)
this reminds me of a guy from my high school who told me about a comment that i made to him about 25-30 years ago...he remembered it and i didn't . he told me that i said that he looked cute with his glasses off. go figure.
As a biological male, in my youth I tried reaching out to people whenever I wanted to get something out of my system. Only to find out that while someone might "hear" you, their perception of you as a man lessens. So I turned; not knowing better; to the bottle (alcohol). Later on I managed to get myself out of the hole. But still No one else but you can deal with whatever goes on with your life. Very few people "listen" to your problems and genuinely try to help. You just have to endure and figure out how to change your circumstances and dig yourself out of the hole.
@Eng Med Yes this is true.Mines are TH-cam obviously and gaming.I love to grill and cook too.I gave up Facebook like a yr ago.I also write but my brain is so uninspired by all of this woke bs going on in the country.And I'm adjusting to being sober.Being a man is so hard and it's so sad that we are treated so horribly.
I think some cultures are lonely. Im a woman, and I can tell you that I feel so many lonely people. I see that our lifestyle is just wrong, and unfortunately, most people can't even recognize that they are on that path until it gets to the breaking point.
I have never ever gotten or wanted a hug from a friend and 99% of the hugs i have gotten is because im comforting THEM!! Welcome to manhood where your are here to hold the world on our backs even when people hate us for doing it.
As a man I can confirm that life is quite lonely. I think that is why most men just bury themselves in work. Most men haven’t even heard a compliment in years or had anything nice said to them from a woman that wasn’t their family member. Not saying it’s anyone’s fault just stating facts. Sad thing is I don’t think there is any way to fix this.
Yup, no way to fix it because its of mens own doing or a primal need. As a female wife and mother, I compliment and serve my husband daily, and it doesn't seem to matter. it's a thankless job. I dunno of males want attention from someone other than those closest to them or what....beats the hell out me. I don't know what the fk this man wants.. but I'm certain it's not attention from me. It's unfortunate that a man, having us, wants attention from another female.... I can admit, at this point, I feel the same.. so who's needs aren't getting met here? I do as much as i possibly can and it's not enough...so basically i give 0 fucks that men are lonely.
If you watch the Whatever Podcast most of the girls that are brought on all consider themselves 10s but the guys don't. That's because girls are reinforced for years that they can do anything, they're hot, they're beautiful, they're strong, the "you go girl" attitude. Men are taught that they need to stop being aggressive, they need to check their toxic masculinity, they need to listen to what women have to say. I constantly hear that we live in a Patriarchy but the USA is 100% more feminine focused. Men don't receive compliments and affirmation constantly like women do.
As a women, I have actually started giving random guys compliments for this very reason. I have heard it means a lot and happens so rarely you never know when someone might need a pick me up and just saying someone has nice shoes is some times enough
Being a man is fighting alone. Being a man is knowing that nobody cares about your pain. Being a man is knowing that nobody will value you unless you provide them something. Being a man is being seen as a predator until proven otherwise. Being a man is being told you are evil for something that you did not choose. Being a man is hard.
I think women look to the top 1% of men and imagine that is the life all men lead. If a woman can transition into that kind of man, then maybe it will improve her life. But most women will transition into an average man, and that will be a downgrade in practically every way.
I’m a man and all my male friends are vulnerable with me and talk about their feelings. It’s not as often but when it’s necessary we know we can talk to each other.
Thank you Amala for pointing out that men's brains are different from women's brains. Nobody ever says that in these issues. They just focus on the physical aspect of transitioning. The emotional side is completely ignored.
@@ahamilton3435 that is the crux of gender dysforia. it is certainly real but it is all around what you proceed and not what you experience. you proceed yourself as something different yet completely oblivious of the experience. whilse the gender itself being just a role. well, its both true and false. it is true the roles a set based on what we proceed of our surroundings but it is also highly connected with basic instinct and how our brain function.
Oh, but trans people very OFTEN say they have the "brain" of the other sex and they say anything contrary to that belief is not scientifical. You cannot argue with them on that point, because they just simply reject facts. (As in many other points as well.)
@@ahamilton3435 You can alter yourself up to a certain point, but fundamentally, you are born to be what you are. You are born a man or a woman, then that's what you are, that's how you should live and that's how you will die as. And nothing can ever change that.
Making a friend as a man is different. We share absolutely nothing about our personal lives but we can still talk for hours about our hobbies. I’ve been friends with a dude for 15 years and only 2 years ago did I realize his parents were divorced. It took that long because we never talked about our personal lives. We all just learn to deal with our own crap because we don’t want to put it on someone else. I really hope this person figures out a solution to her problem and I really hope her life improves from this moment.
I like that you referred to “him” as her. Which is what she is. Unfortunately she’ll never fully understand what it’s like to be a man because she is not wired like that and no amount of hormone replacement therapy will change her cellular and spiritual makeup to be like a man.
I'm a male psychologist. Most of my clients are young men. They often feel lonely, purposeless, and villified. As a generalisation, men do not connect with each other through open emotional displays. Men relate through shared action (e.g., sports team members), feeling understood, and gestures that demonstrate appreciation (e.g., helping a friend wash their car). These things only appear superficial to women and modern society because there's a lot of unspoken communication between men. They are not unemotional, they just see and care about different things. There is value in both ways of being, if we could all just learn to respect each as meaningful in their own way.
"As a generalisation, men do not connect with each other through open emotional displays." This is how women connect. Not men. If your theory teaches men to open up emotionally and display their feelings. They will now be seen as weak, emotional and sensitive. Which to other men is a red flag. And if you don't understand that, you are not a man. Men need a different angle to the same problem.
John Gray explains that estrogen causes women to talk much more about emotions. The estrogen in their body is suppressing testosterone. Estrogen is about emotions, and testosterone is about problem-solving. Testosterone is suppressing the estrogen in a man´s body so he can focus more, because testosterone suppresses also emotions. He also says that when women are under stress, the estrogen causes their brain focuses 10 times more on negative things than when men are under stress. So it seems that nature and evolution created it this way, to make men problem-solvers and to suppress their emotions, to focus better. He says that when a woman is under stress, the estrogen causes that she is talking about various negative things. She wants to be heard by her husband and she is frustrated that he does not listen to her. When she notices that he is listening to her, her estrogen level goes up. I guess as a woman, women should probably practice some yoga or pilates to not be in stress, or turn off the television etc. Because if a man is designed to be a problem solver thanks to testosterone, he can not focus if she interrupts his mind with various stuff, that probably are not always justified....or that came from the television. And he is not a person who can read a mind of others while trying to focus on something. I guess if the father has 3 daughters with estrogen, in puberty..... he can solve the problem by giving them empathy and love, so they will not turn to some unnecessary stress that causes their brain to notice the negative things much more often than the male brain. And if the testosterone makes him calm and focused and has a sense of humor, it shouldn´t be a problem to calm down his wife and 3 daughters in puberty, while their estrogen makes them all notice the negative stuff much more than his brain as a father. Testosterone was probably designed in that way, therefore there are so many good male philosophers, musicians, artists, and scientists. Women love humor too, so it's a good tool if it is not vulgar humor but innocent humor. John Gray helps men and women how to communicate with each other. He said his wife shouldn´t ask how do you feel but "What do you think?...because if she forces him to show a lot of emotions, it is against his biology, and testosterone....at the moment. The husband shouldn´t ask his wife What do you think? but How do you feel?...because female biology is more about feelings and emotions and if he forces her to be masculine and with no emotions.... it is against her biology. It seems if both use humor and empathy, and compassion and gratitude, it creates a beautiful couple that inspires others too. That they dont see the differences but the balance. Probably yoga and sports help too. If both love to do some sport or hobbies. It seems to have testosterone is also a good benefit for a man, to focus on tasks to be creative. We as humans dont want our minds to be occupied by too many emotions. So men should use a positive self-talk, not the negative one. Gratitude helps to get confidence. Estrogen is probably also a good benefit for a woman to express emotions, so she may nurture a child. and if she is in stress she may notice how to save the child. The estrogen makes her notice the negative things 10 times more than when man is under stress. But it seems empathy and gratitude help both genders to get balance and complement both genders. But also both genders should make a compliment about each other´s skills so the artificial intelligence will not create chaos with the algorithm. and think that we want to be uni-gender, nonbinary etc. It seems when men get older, they get more estrogen and when women get older they get more testosterone. It seems nature is very smart, but gives the benefits to people who are emphatic, nice and helping others.
Being a man, friends are nearly impossible unless you spend forced time with them. Work or a hobby gathering. You can never just approach a woman without her automatically thinking you're a creep or am asshole and even chit chat is uncomfortable unless you're 10/10 hot. Being a man is extremely lonely and after putting yourself out there so much, it's easier to bury yourself in your job or hobbies than to make an effort.
So sorry that’s your experience! My husband struggled to find and maintain friendships after we moved as well but with hosting lots of gatherings and experimenting with new hobbies he managed to keep his circle of friends and even meet some new people who he now sees on a regular basis. (They play table top games at our house once a week and another group he sees for sport events) I think it is possible to get and stay connected with people but it IS a lot of work.
As a male crisis worker and as a biological man myself I can attest to the fact that men find it patronizing to be affirmed rather than the pursuit of finding solutions to particular problems. Men bond and grow through mentorship and this is the basis of their friendship rather than one that simply affirms feelings which is only really seen in a relation to a mother and her son.
Fun. I'm a woman but most of my relationships, well, all, are mentorship or comradeship. I don't have fuzzy touchy feely relationships. Not that I don't want one, but I can't find one, and I'm under the impression that most women can't either
So true, what you said and this video in general made me think about the joke Louis CK does about overhearing two women talking in a restaurant about a guy one of the girls was dating saying he's really busy and the other girl was like "fuck him, he's a piece of shit" instead of offering actual advice she affirmed the absolute worst negative about the guy
i was told, and may be you as a man can confirm this, that friendships between men are rooted far more in mutual respect that has to be earned, then in a feeling of an emotional connection.
It’s annoying to watch biological women complaining about what it’s like to be a man, because in my opinion, most men don’t experience these things AS PROBLEMS. I’m not saying there aren’t lonely men who struggle to make friends. I’m saying we don’t desire the same KIND of relationships or friendships that women have with their friends. She’s missing and longing for things we don’t necessarily long for the same way. I value my space and time alone tremendously. And I don’t even want my lifelong friends to hug me, smile at me, or talk to me in the bathroom, let alone a stranger. Sometimes I overhear my wife and her friends talking and giggling and I’m just like “how tf are they having fun right now?” In general, I think the sadness she experiences as a “man” is underscored by the fact that she’s not a man and therefore doesn’t view the world the way a man does and isn’t equipped to navigate even the most basic male experiences. That being said, my friendships are extremely deep. I have a circle of friends that I’ve known since childhood and I’m 35 now. I have no desire to add any surface level friendships. If I make another friend along the way, that’s fine, but it’s not something I long for. So that’s the caveat. For men who haven’t established deep friendships like that, it can definitely be a challenge to build them, largely due to ppl like me who aren’t necessarily looking for new friendships. Also, I think most men have a singular vision for their future and their life and if you don’t fit into it, you’re taking valuable time away. So that’s another barrier.
As a girl who has only guy friends (due to my hobbies all being generally more guy hobbies) I’ve learned Being a guy has just as many cons as being a girl. Women are so fast to crap on men. Being a man is lonely. Being a man is just being expected to tough it out. Being a man is going to therapy and instead of being treated for depression being treated as a threat. Being a man is constantly having to have your emotions together while your girl yells at you but if you lose your cool or raise your voice you are an “abuser”. It’s nobody actually asking if you are ok. It’s your parents treating you like crap but because your the son you are still supposed to just take care of things for them. And what’s most dangerous I feel for young men, it’s the bombardment of society deciding that as a young man you are the “problem” and the reason the world is in shambles. Everyone all about that feminism until the draft hits or something breaks and needs fixing.
Considering the fact that all of the problems you mentioned are a by product of the patriarchy and feminism is about abolishing the patriarchy, maybe men would actually benefit from it? Hmmm…🤔
you really took this as an opportunity to boast your antimale agenda. Disgusting the fact that you can't even see that's what your advocating for. In a true patriarchy no women voting, no women in the work force, no women in the military .People don't give a fuck what men have to say, men's rape victims communities are laughed at and mocked, while being taken down by feminists. Today's men are lonely and are killing themselves and it's because of people like you
@@Julie-qr9ow , No one benefits from today's feminism. It's been perverted to the point that it is not pro women but anti men. Feminism encourages women to fight their natural instincts and blame men for everything they don't like. The end result from today's feminism is usually a mid 30s woman felling unfulfilled and regret. and men not wanting anything to do with women. No one benefits from today's feminism.
@@Sippington_McDrinksalot NO, It's about the difference a transitioned woman experienced, that she'd never been able to imagine about how it is to be a man!
seems their claim that they are men trapped in women's bodies was not really true..... otherwise she'd have known what hard, cruel life is coming her way...
The comment they made about people crossing the street to avoid you really hits home. Literally happens to me so often I don't even bother noticing it half the time, I just keep myself to myself.
Not really cross the street, but I have noticed more than once in my short 10 minute walking commute to work that people just tend to avoid making eye contact with me. I am, for the record, a 39 year old male of south east asian descent.
That's interesting. I've personally never crossed the street just to avoid someone. Avoiding eye contact is something I do though. Maybe I should say hi to people more. But the problem there is I don't want people to think I'm hitting on them. I think a lot of people, myself included have issues telling when they're being hit on vs when someone is just trying to be nice.
To be fair... I'll cross the street to avoid old ladies... that's also a social anxiety thing. I try to make eye contact and smile at people when I HAVE to pass them.... but they never do it back and I'm a woman.. I feel like that's just a people thing in 2023.
Just being human is lonely. I am a woman and all those "connections" that you can have with other women are completely lies. Women are great at being fake. If your a woman who is not very good at being fake or is very truthful (even in a kind way) than life is just as lonely.
I can talk with other women easily, there isn't a real barrier but close connections are harder, especially when you get older. Everyone's experience is different. I've had expectations based on movies and TV about friendships, love and family that were not realistic.
I agree with this 100%. As a woman, I've never had a conversation with another woman in the bathroom. Why would I? I need a piss, wash my hands so I can get the he** out of there he he..Also, I don't get the "women go to the toilet together"- thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to shit on women, I just think it can be hard to deal with other females. I guess that's why I, for the most part, have male friends and get along with men so easily. 😊
I've never had a fake relationship with a woman and I'm young. All my female friends are great, and it feels nice to hear someone actually care and listen to you.
never had that kind of 'connection' either in bathrooms, and it's not as easy to make new friends once the kids have left primary school {the only post-college situation i made new friends...}, though at work it can happen, i guess... but bathrooms - never...
My roommate (exwife) moved out a year and half ago and during this time I had 2 surgeries to repair a complete quad tendon tear. Not able to walk, stuck in bed for months, and it's just me and Benny, my dog. I'm an introvert and don't want to bother anyone for help. I've been lonely most of my adult life, and I'm surprised I'm still here after the last 2 years. Keep up the fight guys, you never know what the future holds!
Just curious you don't have to answer if it's too personal. But how do you get around with no help like for doctor appointments, groceries, and other errands? I hope things will get better for you.
This is why I hate how much hate men get. It is undeserved. We all as human beings suffer in this world. We should come together to help each other as a community.
As a biological male my first experience of receiving and accepting an embrace of support and compassion from another male took place when I was 21. Decades later I now have many mutually open, trusting, intimate and deep friendships with other men but it was a huge journey to get there. I would say that this trans man is looking for a particular spontaneous quality of friendship and communication that seems particular to women and is sadly mourning the loss of the unique culture shared by women.
Yup. Because he lived the female experience for most of his life, he is now confronted with a reality that most cis-men grow up with. I hope he realizes that there are many Cis men who feel the same and found a way,: have female friends in your circle. Through osmosis, he'll come in contact with guys like him. Not gonna lie: I was 31 when a guy gave me hug. I was in Italy trying to buy a trainticket at the machine but I didn't speak or was able to read any italian. Around this time, I was in a bad way, emotionally. As I was trying to work the damned thing, a guy approached and offered to help. Asked me in broken English where I needed to go and he punched in the right buttons and I could buy the ticket. I was probably wearing my 'pain' on my face because after I thanked him, he put a hand on my shoulder, looked me straight in the eye. And then he just pulled me in and gave me the biggest bear hug-a stranger could give you. If i wasn't so emotionally repressed I would have cried right there and then😂 anyway, I will never forget it. Only women have hugged me like that. It really felt like I had a big brother. I didn't have to say anything, he knew I needed a hug. And then I realised he picked my pockets😂 Kidding 😅
@@roddo1955 ,,have female friends in your circle." That is a big part of the problem. That, as far is I can see it, many men searching for more emotional bonding, try to get more female friends instead of gettin more emotional with other men. What leads to another problem. That many men, also just like I saw it so far, are not willing to bond deeply with other men except for knowing people for very long, since school or so and even then less less less often and deep as women seem to bond and reject other men/male friends trying to do that. It looks like we dont like it, but I think, we would need it.
@@alexanderschuler7391 It's like Amala said, having a female brain and having male brain IS different. So (I imagine) to be a men having a female friend(s) in your circle IS different. Since that was the whole point she made
@@ljiljanahorvat5940 Dont know what you want to say. I argue that it would be better for us men when we would be more welcoming, supporting and warm torwards each other instead of trying to get more female friends. You want to tell me the male brain is not made for that? Is see many men behaving very warm torwards female "friends" but not torwards male friends. So they can do it and they want it. The internet is full of complaints of beein lonely, that nobody cares for their birthday, how they feel, messages them first and so on and storys about good carefull friends or even stangers who started caring which helped guys out of depression or even prevented them from suicide. We need a culture shift. You can be a bro, care for your friends and be masculine without beein cold Thats my opinion
Right, each sex has their privileges and disadvantages. Thats why they are supposed to be better together. What this person is crying out about not having, is definitely more of a privilege to women. I feel like its because women have the potential to give birth & a womans mental health can effect their unborn child. Ultimately, the majority of people with a bit of general compassion or empathy want to make sure that our future adults are mentally & physically healthy. The best period to start nurturing that health is while they are still developing. Making sure that developmental vessel is mentally & physically healthy, benefits the development of the child.
What privileges exactly? What privileges do men have that women don’t? The privilege to be part of the draft? The privilege to be in an education system that favors women? The privilege to have their value determined by a paycheck? The privilege to lose your kids and half your income to a no-fault divorce? The privilege to have no rights in the termination of the life of your unborn child? The privilege to be openly discriminated against in media and dei-influenced onboarding processes? It’s easy to look at the number of successful men and think they got there by privilege. But most of them got there by giving up just about everything else. And they are NOT representative of MEN as a group. It’s a hallmark of the lazy to explain the difference in outcomes as favoritism or cheating. “Because if I had what they had, I’d be rich and powerful too.” No, if you worked and sacrificed as they did, you’d be rich and powerful too. But is it worth the trade? Give up everything for money? If it is, then do it.
Being a woman is a blessing. It comes with its downfalls, however we are blessed with amazing spiritual qualities and are meant to nurture, create community and support.
I’m a biological male and sometimes I want someone to hold me and listen to my worries and concerns. Sometimes I just…….ah forget it, just give me a beer and the TV remote and it’s all good.
I'm a man. I've had the same best friend since 1979 when we were 15/16 years old. We are as close as brothers. We can go for years without speaking or seeing each other, yet when we do, it's as though no time has passed and we can pick up exactly where we've always been. That's something no woman I've never spoken to can truly understand.
That's actually relatively common for women. We don't tend to let that long go without having contact with BEST friends, but some do. In fact my mom has had her same best friend since... 5? 6? Early elementary school. They're at the age where they have grandkids in school and still best friends. During some seasons of life, a year or two went by without talking and they're as close as ever. I myself have a few friends from college who I don't talk to for years and then we pick up like we just spoke yesterday.
Buddyyyyy what is up with people in this comment section generalizing people bro. I have same friendship with 3 of my friends and I’m a female?? But I guess I’m an alien😊😊
I’ve been friend with my buddy since he was in 5th grade and me in 6th. We were as close as one could be we confided in each other but never let no one else see any weekness and we always got shit done when needed we fought several times. Over dumb shit. We fucked up. We owned up. He will always be my brother even if we don’t see each other for a few years or so.
Yeah, sure, because only men can form profound, close friendships. No woman can ever understand how you can form a "friendship" that lasts more than a month. Dude, what women do you talk to? Men never miss an occasion to say how they're better than women while not knowing a shit about actual women.
@@michellebaker6302 I agree. Women do experience this. The only thing I think exists maybe a little more is that women might be more likely to question the bond between themselves as time goes by. They can still maintain the relationship and keep up with each other, but they usually have other social circles in the meantime during those long periods of not talking to a really close friend. Nothing externally damaged the relationship, but the time itself can make it seem distant and sometimes that will cause doubt or insecurity on one or both sides.
My gut reaction when i see someone male presenting like this crying was "yeah dude. Shits tough. Now figure it out" and my own reaction is a perfect example of how it is to be a man. But us biological men know that very few people truly care about our feelings. So by this age we have become emotionally and mentally tough enough to deal with it. This is part of the reason the male hobby is so important. Our hobbies are how we make friendships and fill our alone time. I have noticed, on average, the female hobby isnt nearly as important.
To be fair given the technology of our age it's so much easier to find and connect with people of similar interest than say even our parents especially grandparents where it has to be people near them.
Men tend to bond through activity primarily, then through our words. Earned respect through action weigh more than words do for us. Then male bonds with words can be made - during and after the activity.
I'm a 36-year-old male with no deep friendships or close family members. The last close relationship I had was with my daughter and sadly her mother was very spiteful and took it upon herself to drag me through the courts removing that last real relationship I had and taking my remaining humanity. That situation happened 5 years ago now and every day I live is torture. The world now expects me to man up and continue on, and no one seems to understand why most days just getting out of bed is a struggle. Tell me again how easy it is being a man. The world doesn't give a damn about the majority of us and most of us just wanted to be decent people.
I might not have words that can cure what you're going through, but I will say this: Please hold on for your daughter. One day she will be old enough where her mom can't keep her away anymore. Write that little girl some funny notes, record videos for her that are things that remind you of her. Save all of this for that day she comes back into your life and prove she is your world. Keep your mind focused on hobbies and a purpose for your life. You really can do this. No one can give that girl your legacy like you can.
No one would divorce a good loving husband, so you need to look at your action or lack of. You can not just blame her, you need to take accountability for your action. "The world doesn't give a damn about the majority of us" You want to be a victim so bad, smh. We still live in patriarchy so EVERYTHING is cater to men. Get a clue.
@@kcl6627 Life can get pretty down at times but this is the reason why I'm still weathering the storm. I appreciate the kind comment, keep putting that good energy into the world!
@@nardip4999 He didn't say he was married. He's right... This world don't give a fuck about us. You cant tell us OUR EXPERIENCES aren't real, YOU the one who NEEDS to get a CLUE.
My personal experience with deep loneliness left me with the perspective that you have to be able to find joy in merely existing. Romanticize the world around you. No one can take that away from you.
This is an excellent point. I would also suggest that this makes you more attractive, as it shows others that you see good in and enjoy simple things in your life. Really is simple innit: Fall in love with your own life regardless of who's in it and make the best of it Other people find this attractive See if you find any of them attractive, take action or don't
It's so weird for me seeing this kind of comments. I've almost always avoided my friends when asked out because I get bored quick. I was only reaching them when I was feeling like going out. And I only want and need attention when I'm horny. I thought most men are like this. Maybe I'm a sociopath or something.
@horusorion965 All very true. Having had similar issues I prefer my own company much of the time only being willing to hang around a very select few that I have gotten to know well and trust.
51 year old male. And I believe part of it is a new loneliness for men. In my teens, 20's and 30s, I was very social. I had deep friendships, and casual ones. Friends I'd call on a Friday night, and a few that I could call at 3am after a bad night. All my life, I always had at least 2-3 'best friends', males who i was emotionally close to, and at least one woman best friend. But about ten years ago, it started to change, and by 5-6 years ago I stopped feeling welcome. I moved several times, and made new friends pretty quickly, but this time it was different. I was keenly aware that I was not welcome to strike up a conversation with a woman, and the idea of second guessing every word and gesture for fear of being toxic, that women almost expect men to be potential rapists, sort of gas lit me into pulling back. And other men also seemed to act almost ashamed to exist, and wary to engage with each other. Even coworkers, the ones who seek me out to chat up and laugh with every day, have no interest in socializing outside of work. It really has become a strange cold world at least in my experience. Forgive my morbidity, but I understand the rise in male suicides. It is such an odd feeling to contemplate ending it all. Not in a rage, or with tearful sobbing frustration, but calmly because you don't want to spend decades like this then die alone.
This is so sad...I hope you find some kind of common interest community to join so you can be a part of a group. As a woman, that's what I would do. I'm still working so that's a positive, and I have some friends. But I'm alone a lot and used to it as well.
This is as much an age thing as it is a male thing. The older men get the harder it is to make friends (generally, there are always exceptions). Why do you think so many go to their local bars? To grasp that sense of community that they are lacking as, by that age, if you don't have a family who is constantly engaging in new relationships and bringing other new people into the fold, or a very personable career, a middle-aged man striking up random conversations with strangers in any other setting is considered strange. I recommend finding groups for any hobbies you have and just throwing yourself into them. You can find any community online, and they tend to have something going on in your vicinity. The worst thing that can happen is that you don't get along and you don't go back to that specific group.
This is why I, almost 50, happily married (27 yrs), will strike up casual conversations with men my age and older I’m a big girl now If it gets gross by them, (not as likely since I’m not aging gracefully lol) 4:17 I know how to shut it down quickly. But i get a real sense that normal guys are always looked at sceptically and warily, and don’t have a woman just nicely wish them a nice day. I want to be kind and real and give that to them Plus the boys in my life are always receptive to physical contact, my dad, husband , and son, always appreciate a good hug or hand holding, or just closeness I’m gentle as a nurse, but am more gentle and attentive in a way to people who I sense are lonely and craving connection
As a guy I can 100% confirm I have never once had a conversation with another random guy in the men’s bathroom. That’s just weird.
One guy tried to talk to me from the urinal next to mine at work one time and I have seldom been so uncomfortable since.
Did he at least follow the skip-a-stall policy?
Wow! I've met lifelong friends in random washroom. To be fair I'm super bubbly and social.
@@Perfumegod I don't know a single man who goes to the bathroom to socialize.
I have had conversations while in the restroom but that is with long term co-workers. Basically we are just working needed a take care of nature before moving out to do our work. I can also see some using a male space to have certain conversations that may not be best spoken in public
"Men suffer in silence" and "the only time in his life a man receives flowers is at his funeral" are very common sayings for a reason.
"don't cry, you're a man, men don't cry"
But do men want flowers? /gen I'm a woman and curious. I'm gonna ssume some but not all 😂 like many answers for many things.
@@pharuhs apart from our partners and (the "pretty" ones) from someone who has a crush on us, but as it is a "women stuff" it isn't that often
@@pharuhs It's more the gesture. Men very rarely receive compliments/gifts unless it's expected (like a birthday or something)
So a spontaneous gift/compliment is going to stick with a guy for a long time.
@@pharuhs sure. They might not even know they do
Women: “We get unwanted attention from men!” Men: “I haven’t been hugged by anyone or asked if I’m ok in 15 years”
When i was young, i usually only got hugs from my grandma, now i sometimes get a hug from my mom once or twice a month.
and only recently have i gotten some friends that word for word ask me "are you okay?"
hahahahahahah!!!!
It's true but..I don't think many men would actually want to get hugs from people they're not attracted to and being asked if "they're ok". I wouldn't. No hugs unless I wanna fuck you and no "are you ok?" It's so cringe it hurts.
Everybody has their own shit to deal with. But between being treated as an object and being ignored entirely, I think they're both awful, but I assume each side would be envious of what the other is having anyway.
@@CulltureShock are you ok?
I'm a gay man and I always tell my girlfriends to remember that men want attention too, tell your boyfriend that you think he looks handsome, you like his new hair cut, he looks sexy in that outfit, hug him, ask him if he's ok, women and men are different, a woman likes to talk about her problems, and a lot of men just want their women to sit with them peacefully while they work through their stress, but the end goal is the same, if you have a boyfriend who treats you right, make sure you remember to do the same
Thank you lol
@@Ho11ow661 I'm out here doing the Lord's work😂
I agree with you there, nobody wants to acknowledge that men have feelings.
Thanks brother
Not all heroes wear capes :')
'Man up!'
'Walk it off!'
'Be a man!'
'Suck it up!'
'Just push through!'
How often we as men have heard people say to us in our life? What do we do? We suck it up and move on.
Toxic Masculinity at it's finest. I feel bad , men are too often belittled.
"You throw like a woman."
"He holds a grudge like a woman"
"You hit like a woman."
"You are over sensitive/weak like a woman.
Goes both ways. Don't get me wrong. I don't think guys get enough attention but both genders need to figure out what the ever loving heck they are. This world no longer knows what a woman is either we tell our kids its this pathetic submissive little bitch or a rough and tough MASCULINE tomboy who is overly aggressive and a complete hardass for no reasoning. And with guys we tell them to be authoritative but then also tell them to be soft then get mad when they are too soft or too hard. We really need to rediscover what it is to BE a woman or Be a man.
it's how the world gets built, it's how the allies beat the axis, we do it because sometimes it necessary. I have a wife and kids, half the things I do are because it needs to be done and who the hell else is gonna do it? I wasn't born this way but trauma will make you strong or it will break you. I choose not to be broken
He is a woman,he don t understand that simple fact
@@kingRukus39 You and many others are very strong. Keep pushing 💪
Being a man isn't lonely, it's solitary. Loneliness is a result of how we process the solitude and not everyone will experience it the same. It's not good or bad, it's what it is. I don't want a relationship with other dudes in the toilet, and they don't want one with me.
😂😂😂😂😂
You said this very well. Its how we process the solitude. Personally, I never feel like I get enough alone time and I truly cherish the time.
My gosh the way I love my own company!
This person complaining is still prejudiced against straight males. He’ll need to get over that for starters.
@@SeeLasSee "he"?
“No one told me how hard it was to be a man.” YES WE DID. It’s been said over and over and ignored just as many times. You just didn’t care until it happened to you.
Exactly.......Ignorance is not an excuse.
"But but but muh patriarchy!"
Easier to swallow the lies that give them special hollywood-underdog victim status.
Truth
Preach!
Exactly 💯
The funny thing is that when this occurs to men, no body cares. But as soon as it happens to a non cis man its all the rage.
I don't think that's the case. I think trans men are more vulnerable than a lot of cis men which pulls more empathy from others
then start to care about the feelings of the men around you
@@crescentedwards851 It is exactly the case, though. Were he a cis man being vulnerable, all the comments would be something along the lines of "Man up", "suck it up", "shut up nobody cares", etc. Why? Because no one cares about men. Not even men care about men, because they have the weight of a lifetime on loneliness on their shoulders, and they don't need one more lifetime.
@@crescentedwards851
F**k off , I hate when people normalize the issues of others because they don't wave a rainbow flag..
It's the whole majority of men , trans or not.
I found out yesterday that this month, June, is men’s mental health month and no one talks or even know about it. It shows how little society really cares about men. Stay strong boys 💪
Why don't men talk about it then?
@@MH-bf4uu we do, then women freak out and call us masogynist for focussing on us and not them.
She's a female with pre-existing mental health disorders.
Wow and it gets overshadowed by Pride.
Wow….. this month & the last 3 I’ve tried to kill myself multiple times it is mens mental health month. That’s kinda wild to me. I never knew that was even a thing
We live in a world where no one will listen to someone speak about men's mental health unless they're actually a woman.
Hi!!! Since you believe that no one will listen to someone speak about men’s mental health I would love to give you multiple instances where you are wrong! 1. Therapy exists!!! Not just for women but for the men too😨😨 shocking right!!
2. We are currently in the month of June! Which is men’s mental health awareness month! (Also pride month)
3. True friends and true family!!
4. Me!!!
5. God
I would also love to point out that we do not live in a world where men are discriminated as a whole. White men (specifically cis) are the least discriminated people in the world!!! Maybe you are a different race that what I’m assuming you are but typically amalas viewers are exactly as I listed. I am not going to invalidate your guy’s feelings but simply point out how you guys claim you have such a hard life 😢 but really! Us cis white men have it the easiest!
lol
Because men don’t communicate like women do.
Or paid $$$$$
GOOD ass point😅
I’m a single father, and I can tell you nobody cares if a man is suffering, we are expecting to be strong and push on (hence the term “man up”) I was backstab by my best friend which caused me my marriage, lost my job due to covid shortly after, had my savings depleted by my family and once I’m broke, they abandon me. Now I’m slowing trying to get back on my feet while trying to raise my son but I am often been viewed as weak for not being able to keep my marriage together, selfish for not having the income anymore to spend for my family and arrogant for wanting to keep things to myself since no one ever listen to what I’m going through. But then again being a man I have to push through, as father I have to stay strong, all so that I can shield my son from my reality, so that he can laugh, smile and have a full belly everyday. Not one person ever asked me if I’m doing ok, not one person wished me a happy father’s day, not one person wished me for my birthday. This is my reality as man, sorry for the long comment, just wanted to share what I have to go through as a man. Have a lovely day
Funny how ancient Greeks have so close bonds that it became gayish lmao and now we have pedastalised femoids .
That sounds very tough
I know this is not going to help much, but after some time there comes relief after hardship.
You are doing great and you are a great father
Hang in there
PS: Happy Father’s Day 🎊🎈✨
PPS:Happy Birthday 🎉🎂🥳
@@Violett8 Thank you so much for your kind words, I'm hanging in on here, doing my best everyday
Hey buddy, keep you chin up. I went through a similar situation as you. You're far from alone. We live in a BS cuck society that understands nothing. What else would you expect from people? Most people are brainwashed morons nowadays-- they are herd animals that do not care about what is just and right. They would be happy to stab you or I in the back. But we must be strong brother. We are better than them. We do not need society to tell us we are worthwhile. F'em. Keep your chin up.
Happy belated Father's Day ❤️
Im a biological man, and holy shit yeah it is so lonely. Even surrounded by family and friends. There is no empathy. The only respect and validation you get for thoughts and emotions are through action. Your thoughts and emotions just simply do not matter. If you work out, have a job, be charismatic, that’s what will make anyone want you or to be around you. You have to have something to offer. You don’t matter. what you have to offer and what you can do does. We are just simply not valued as a person needing love or even as a life with equal value. We are valued as tools. Something to use.
Same for women. Relationships are exchange.
@@puttinontheritzcrackers3301Are you 5 yrs old or sum?
I agree. However, I no longer feel lonely most of the time. However, that's because I joined a church that's focused on men. They promote marriages where men show love to their wives and where wife's show respect to their husband's. I think that's something the world and most women don't want to acknowledge; is that men want RESPECT and to be RESPECTED. We men need that respect.
@@matthewvandyk7773 Most churches are very alienating to men. Especially single men.
As a 37 year old male, I have never been hugged for comfort, genuinely been asked how I'm doing, or gotten any emotional help without paying for it. As a man, you have 1 objective, and 1 objective only. Work. That's all we're supposed to do..
As a 29 year old man, the only one who has the OK to hug me is my family and my (for now non existent) girlfriend/wife.
Right hugging dudes just isn't on the male agenda
@@richardb3944lol I actually had a conversation with my fiancé about that just yesterday. It’s just not done in our community
Work, provide, take the bullet.
We do it more.but definitely a female dominated Nature
You need to investigate Norah Vincent. She wrote a book called "My year as a Man". She decided to spend 2 years as a man to see those privileges that everyone talks about. She ended the experiment after 18 months because of the mental distress. She said she suffered serious mental issues because of what she went through, and how she was treated by women. Sadly, after a number of stays in mental institutions (which she also wrote about her issues and the lack of care received) she took her life a year or two ago. It really is a profound statement on not only the unseen side of being a man, but an indictment of the metal health industry.
Oh my gosh! I am going to look for this! Thank you for sharing. ❤
Vincent didn’t kill herself because of the fact she chose to be a man. She was a broken person who kept playing characters in her writing and in how she acted, she was never honest with who she was and never developed her true self. The distress of that had brought her to self harm many time prior to the experiment. She didn’t write a note, you can’t know why.
@@luck3yp0rk93 but she did write about the difficulties she faced portraying a man, and she did write about ineffective state of our mental healthcare, and you'd be putting your head in a hole if you didn't think those experiences played a part.
Also her not knowing her reasons for taking her life don't negate what she uncovered in her time as a man. She went into it thinking it'd be great and she'd suddenly have all this privilege she'd been lacking only to discover that it wasn't actually easy or enjoyable. I'd say she was probably more affected by these things bc of an already unstable mental state, but it should be noted that straight men are feeling demonized by society more than ever and it's not easy for them.
I've heard of her story. It's crazy. I wish we would be nicer and more loving to each other.
@@cucumber790 Yep, men are at fault for everything. Fuq off!
I'm a 46 year old man. Yes, as men, we go through this. We just don't talk about it. You learn to make friendships that are meaningful. Being a man isn't easy. We are built to protect and work.
Being a woman isn't easy either.
@@sophieruby5893 oh, it's about you now 😂
@Sophie Ruby you seem that's the shit we are talking about, it's not all about you
@@sophieruby5893 no, being a woman isn't easy. We do get that. However, when you defensively assert that "being a woman isn't easy", as if this conversation right here somehow detracts from that fact, what you are doing is highlighting one of the myriad of reasons why we men keep our mouths shut. Why we assume that it's safer to just keep silent and stoically drive on. I mean, I don't mind being open about it because we don't know each other and aren't likely to ever speak again. However, when you do that, you're adding to the problem. If you wish to be seen and heard, recognize that it's a two-way street. We need to be seen and heard, too. There's a time and place to make yourself seen and heard. Pay attention to this video, because you're getting inside information that most women don't get, using language that you probably understand better than we men do.
@@engmed4400 🔥 🔥 🔥
My grandpa once said "nick nobody gives a shit about how men feel" and that's stuck with me my whole life.
So care about other man's feelings around you. Me as a woman do not understand why no one starts caring about each other while everyone craves it apparently.
@estherbosbach377 being self centered isn't a man problem, it's a people problem. That's a good point though, men (and all people in general) should understand that we're all going through something, I think most people just get caught up in the weeds of thinking their personal problems are the most important problems when in reality nobody really knows who's problems weigh heavier than another's.
Women should be more considerate of the things men go through, men should be more considerate of the problems of one another. In my experience women are already cut the world of slack in the working environment at least. Female coworker of mine gets to go home with no penalty (she told me they don't give her points) whenever she has her period, I personally got a point for having to leave early because my wife was having a medical emergency and needed me to come get her.
its actually men who dont give the shit lol... women do... so support your fellow men
@@SalamiCellar I am Dutch and we have a working culture where at the basis, everyone goes home at 17 h, men an woman, since we have strong unions. And have 3 to 4 weeks of vacation time.
Conservatives should consider this since it gives more time to personal and family life and actually investing in strong family bonds and family values. And more time to personal problem solving.
Working time is thus also more organized effectively. Bc the working goals sill needs to be managed and done in the working contained time, leading to more effective communication, social skills and collaboratory empathy. Hence led to the famous Dutch 'rudeness', which is really a result of interpersonal high trust. This leads to a High Trust society where everyone is able to benefit of.
I was talking to a gal in my 20s getting to know her and ended up spilling a bunch of life crap to her in the name of openness and honesty and realized after awhile that I had made a mistake. Confiding in a woman as a man is a massive error and by doing so will cause her to lose a certain amount of respect for you. And it does make sense. Women were not created to carry the weight of a man's stresses and life probs. It wasn't a deal breaker for her and I didn't realize what I had done at the time but as I matured into my 30s knowing what I know now I won't ever rant about struggles with any woman ever again.
I remember when my husband hugged me goodbye at the end of our first date. For me, it felt pretty platonic and was just a nice gesture. He told me months later that hugging me had almost made him cry, not because he was overly attached me at that point but because he realized that our physical contact was the first time another person had touched him in years aside from the occasional handshake. His family isn't very physically affectionate, his guy friends never hugged each other, and he hadn't been in a relationship for almost 2 years. As a woman who is used to casually hugging everyone, that blew my mind and made me so sad.
I know what that's like. I've felt that way even when a guy hugs me because it's so lacking
I had my first dates recently; after my divorce 13 years prior!
I did cry real tears the first time a man put his arms around me protectively in a hug! It has been wayyyy too long.😅
You guys are getting hugs? 🤨
I've been going through emotional withdrawal these last few weeks, due to the realization that no female wants me. I lied to myself for long enough, this is just acceptance of defeat. The worst and most unfair thing is I can't tell anyone that, especially women. I've been daydreaming about hugging a girl constantly. Just a hug. And I'm only 24
@@nguyencaotri3879 Find a support system. Would you not accept a hug from another man?
The loneliest feeling as a man, is wanting to talk to people, have hugs and be vulnerable. But then beeing seen as weird or just simply ignored.
well, if you doing it to random women yeah lmao. but to other men who are your freinds? you should be fine
The knockers are right. Stand up and stop being a limp dick. Being alone doesn't have to be lonely.
I talk to people .I get hugs from my family and friends.. and I'm never seen as wierd. And the only people you should be showing your vulnerability to, is family and friends
Or hearing: are you gay?
@@Mayawamaqto other PEOPLE who are your friends, men and women should be able to hug each other and be friends
This is the male experience. When a man says “nobody cares!” it’s because everyday we look at society and all we see is just that. To be a masculine man is seen as toxic and standing up for yourself means you are insecure and narcissistic. Young men are lonely for sure. I see it every single day
What's your definition of "masculine man"?
Just a man being a man. It’s really that simple
@@technoloverish The opposite to femenine man/woman. I'm sure you know what's a femenine person.
@@Alejojojo6 Yeah that's a bizare question, they can tell what a fem person is but not the oposite, they always want to redifine anything regarding us
Young men are more like women now. It is terrible to see the feminization everywhere. Thank goodness I lived most of my life at a much better time.
As an 80's man I would say that we are not cold at all. We are emotional and vulnerable but don't show it that much. Our friends are from hobbies, schools, present or past jobs, etc. In public restrooms we mind our own business. Unless we know someone it's "shut up and do your your thing". I appreciate hugs but physical contact from people I barely know feels awkward. I hate being interrupted when I'm working, thinking, or soul-searching. Loneliness is bliss and I appreciate it by episodes but couldn't stay alone forever. I know I don't represent every men but I'm sure some will relate...
I think you do a good job for representing the majority of men though. Cheers.
Well perhaphs if we wouldn't conserve partiarchy, religiousity and gender roles, and have classes for children teaching how to express and deal with their emotions and relations, then men wouldn't be alone and women wouldn't be harassed. But being woke and conscious of your emotions and psyche is too woke and therefore evil apparently to this channel.
You really need to do some research to understand why this perceived “patriarchy” exists. You may be woke but you probably need to wake up.
it's crazy to see someone completely break down because they started living the life I've (and most of my friends have) lived since their birth.
It's the regret of throwing away their privilege
@@joeldorrington7898 That's the truth. Getting everything easier while still being the victim must be nice.
boo hoo
the bilogical male has the immune system about being lonely and embrace struggles unlike woman
@@joshcal7370 loll right^?
As a guy: when you strike a friendship, you know it's gold
T r u e
"Vestiges!" - walter white stare.
Unfortunately, male friendships have also been destroyed over a woman.
@@alanguages Don't see what that has to do with true companionship, but yes, it's true. Thankfully not everyone is like that, which is what I meant.
@@alanguages jeez you will blame women over your things
This is one reason why Jordan Peterson's message was so powerful amongst men. When it seems like the whole world was piling on and telling us we're all toxic and oppressive, many guys out there just needed a friend and a little understanding. Maybe a hug now and then. Peterson's revelation about how little encouragement was really necessary, because many young men have never had any at all... Heartbreaking.
We need a father figure that is capable to understand what is happening in the world from competent male perspective. Peterson is like a father, a friend and a philosopher all at once.
Yeah Im sure hitler stalin and musolini just needed a hug too. Its funny bc all those JP types say women will be old and alone if we dont settle for some abusive crusty broke unwashed ass. The projection is crazy.
The thing about Jordan is that he mixes self-help and politics (he didn't use to do that as much). The people who listen to him are often at a low point in their lives and are impressionable to anyone who can give them some answers to their problems.
It would be good for people to get self-help that's more apolitical. Just focus on yourself and make gains. 💪
Jordan _Man up take responsibility and support women_ Petersimp
Amen. I was about to write the same thing. Jordan Peterson has been speaking about this.
Men cry when their daughters marry. Their only source of genuine hugs and kisses.
Ew
@@runesdt9175 the only EW here is your mind
They cry because now they have to deal with "Steve"
this fucking breaks my heart
I'm a middle aged man, single and never married. I am alone, but I don't get lonely. I like my peace and quiet, and I don't want to give it up. No one complains that I left a dish in the sink, or took too long in the shower, no one wakes me up on the weekend before I'm ready. No one tries to convince me to sell my motorcycles so they can travel. I like it this way. I'm not against having a GF or wife, but until someone proves to me my life will be BETTER with them in it, I'll stay single.
Ha, good job to you. I'm exactly the same.
Facts man not worth the peace of mind at all really and there still plenty of thing that can keep u busy entertained and happy
I don't know that this is a male characteristic. I am a woman, a cis woman, and I feel the same way. I think what you are describing is maturity. The act of growing up.
@@Choyce7 And where do you think you reside on the bell curve of the population of women? Do you think most women think this way? Why isn't their a MGTOW movement of women going their own way? SIGN language doesn't change reality ma'am!
@@williamparrish2436Lots of women feel this way actually.
As an autistic woman I've never had a deep feminine friendship and the deepest friendships I've had in my life have been with men. There are definitely nuances to both sides. Not all Women are these accepting angels that society paints us out to be. Many are bullies.
Exactly the whole narrative that men are just emotionally stunted unfeeling beings is nonsense..
totally agree with you!
100%
💯
What does you being autistic have to do with your lack of female friendships?
A man's life is made from this saying, "you know who cares about your problems more than you do? No one does, so deal with it."
We learn this early on in life. You're not going to keep getting bailed out. Once you're out of high school and your parents house, no one is going to save you. No one will come to your rescue. You need to be able to do it all and hopefully be strong enough to take care of others along the way. Otherwise your going to end up alone.
100% this.
It's do or die for men out there.
No one is coming to save you, it's just you and your own strength you can rely on.
Absolutely
Depends on your family. If you're a man with a tight knit family you won't be harshly put out to go figure it out. My grandma always allowed my bum uncle to stay with her no matter what he did, chances and chances
Just you and your trusty steed/dog. Its a wild wilderness out there. Stay warm and safe.
sorry ive been playing red dead for 6 hours a day and i think i have a problem.
That literally has nothing to do with your gender. That’s life for everyone. I’m female and I feel the same.
Men saying they feel lonely❌️
Trans men saying they feel lonely✅️
well that's because trans men are simply women .....
The loneliness really is no joke. As a man nearing 40, I've battled major depression since grade school. Then my wife of 12 years, who I thought was my best friend too, demanded a separation. Our friends became just her friends. One of our kids won't speak to me anymore because of lies she was told. I asked a couple of her female friends to put themselves in my shoes and was told to man up. Middle-aged men have an incredibly hard time making new friends. No support network.
Lesson learned: If you're a man, you're considered expendable. Your existence holds no value, only what you can offer others. It's up to you to make your own happiness before your own mind begins to attack itself. Sink or swim, guys.
th-cam.com/video/tHxip2x-PLc/w-d-xo.html pretty much explains it. Stay strong, Chris!
Salute!
Have a good life Chris, and thanks for sharing your experience, I wont last too long in this crazy world but atleast lets enjoy simple things of life, like a cup of tea looking the night, or playing videogames, btw we are forgotables. 👍
Find your tribe brother, whether that's gaming friends, or boxing friends, there is a group of men interested in what you like and pursuing the things you are passionate about
@@DAVID-ql1vo Thanks to yourself and the rest of you in the comments. Best of luck to y'all, as well.
As a guy you don't talk about emotions or anything that can make you a burden to people. Your life's purpose is to be a problem solver and burden remover.
Being a man is extremely lonely because you're only good enough to be loved based on what you can provide.
I envy women, children, and pets. They're loved unconditionally and that was a shell shock growing up. Love and attention went from being unconditional to "well you're a young man what can you provide in order to get that "
Yeah I never drop my problems into anyone else's lap. I deal with it as best I can, take a hit if necessary and then dust myself off and get back to work. My first employer told me when I was a kid: Nobody likes a complainer.
You nailed it. Men are taught that having issues or problems makes you a burden on someone. That's why when I'm sick I don't even like being waited on. If I have a problem I don't like being an issue to other people. Meanwhile on the other hand society teaches women to share anything and everything and constantly unload everything. I've seen my dad look terrible, you can clearly tell he's sick but he's still outside working. I'm like what are you doing go to bed. In his mind he's being a deadbeat and a burden on people to be sick.
We do talk about emotions but only with those we trust, I hope if you dont have that you will find it.
as a young woman i can say that most women still feel inadequate, no matter the love they receive or even the skills that they have. i believe it has something to do with the way women perceive the ratio of positive to negative things. it‘s quite skewed towards negative things
To take a little pressure off of you: Women don't need a problem solver. They really appreciate you just actively listening. In return you can expect a woman, who supports you when life gets rough. So none of you is lonely. Problems can be solved together.
And women are definitely not loved unconditionally.
Just as men might only feel loveable when they perform or provide, women are judged by their looks and feel less than when they don't "fit in".
Two sides of one medal.
Key is to find the true value every man and woman is given by God ❤
Too many people think they can escape the harsh reality of their sex. You can really only go from one harsh reality to another.
Lovely. Perhaps you should make reality less harsh for everyone? Just brainstorming here.
That's true. Well said.
And to the other commenter the only one who can make your reality less harsh is God.
@@GypsyInTheHood God should be fired. Lazy bastard.
@@mikicerise6250 This is a vacuous response. What you're saying just sounded pleasant but had no basis in reality.
@@EGarrett01 It doesn't? We aren't responsible for the way we behave towards others? People being systematically cruel and selfish is "God's" doing? Sure. 😇
Not to be mean or anything, but... This guy has spent 8 years lonely.
Im going on 28.
And I dont go viral when I tell people how I feel.
I just get told to shut up. Or ignored. And I don't know what's worse when women all say
Just be yourself.
Nah. You don't want who I am. You don't even want to get to know who I am.
That's the hard truth.
He went viral because he's trans.
There are literally billions of men who feel the same way but don't go viral, and worse, have been conditioned against doing what made that trans man go viral at all costs.
Exactly. Thirty years of solitude and loneliness are irrelevant if you are a man. If you're a woman, a trans man, and, more recently, a homosexual man, things are different. Suddenly, your feelings are validated, your experiences meaningful, and your existence appreciated. But for you, me, and all the other men? We may as well all die in a ditch, and were it not for the jobs we have to do, none would shed a tear.
@@TheSorcerer1 These unresolved feelings tend to lead to civil war, historically.
The only time they care about how we feel is when we start killing each other.
And that's a big problem.
@@TheSorcerer1because us straight men are supposed to be strong and not emotionally weak I get what ur trynna say but find someone who can give you that unconditional love and purpose you won’t be lonely anymore and talk to god because that’s what worked for me. Never been more happier ever since I met my wife and now we are having a daughter
@@smokeenenra57 Happy for you, man. Glad you've found someone you could settle down with and be happy.
Of course, finding someone like that would likely resolve the emotional turmoil for most people, but what of the men that don't find someone like that? Why is it that men must be emotionally strong, mentally stable and stoic regardless? The point wasn't that men can never be happy, that would be a ridiculous point to argue.
Personally, god has never helped me. Godly people have only ever brought pain to me, so I'll avoid it, but I appreciate you sharing what helped you.
@@TheSorcerer1 ok I can understand ur point, not every man has a person that loves them and because of it that can result in loneliness,but what I was tryin to say is that I was just like that into I met my wife, and I think if a man can find what he wants in life he should be fine , and thank you for that comment man I hope everything goes good for you
I have incredibly deep conversations with my friends and our friendships are built on years of love and understanding.
Most men do.
The thing is whether people like it or not, this person is not a man, so they will never actually understand a male brain or male friendships.
They’re viewing the world through a female brain inside a man’s body and that sounds like hell.
You are the exception
@randalljames392 I have a handful of friends who are thoughtful, considerate, and who are capable of debating deep and complex topics. Only a handful, but they are there. We also don't have those conversations every day. Mostly we screw around like we are all still mischievous teenagers, even though we now know we aren't indestructible. I suspect the only reason we have our friend group is because we were all very intentional about first finding, then maintaining that capacity for deep friendships.
You are awesome for sharing this.
Exactly
I thought the same thing. I have four brothers and a bunch of uncles,and male cousins. If one was crying like this and another walked in the other would say, "quit being a girl" then they would go out and do something and within that allow the other to know it's gonna be okay and they are not alone. But I also grew up in a different time.
As a man, we generally build a core group of friends in high school and college. Those friends become lifelong "brothers". It doesn't matter how much time passes between calls or hangouts it's just like we were hanging out the day before. As men age, our responsibilities grow, making less time to form those deep and long-lasting friendships. That's why community is so important whether it be church, shul, heck a bowling league, a place where dudes hang out, not a bathroom
Definitely not a bathroom. When a dude walks into the bathroom, he is driven to do what needs to get done so he can get OUT of the bathroom. 😂
But my fiancée tells me sometimes they have seating areas and stuff in the ladies room, so maybe they are incentivized to hang out in there.
the only place ive ever talked to guys in a bathroom is a rave, bathrooms at raves are a much different place than normal bathrooms.
@@RoyalFizzbin Fun fact: the seating areas are there for mothers to breastfeed their children. It's not actually something that was added to encourage hanging out, nor was it added because we hang out there. The hanging out still happens regardless of how nice the amenities are anyway lol, although the seating areas are still nice to have if you're lucky enough to find a bathroom with one. :)
I theorize that a major reason why the women's bathroom is such a notorious socialization area is due to women's inherent physical vulnerability. Socialization and relationship building is one of the main evolutionary strategies we have for keeping ourselves and each other safe, and the bathroom is a place where we'll run into each other a lot. Since men cannot enter, we can relax and be a bit more unfiltered in our interactions (though I think the same principle applies to men with their locker room talk too). The bathroom is also a place where we do our business, fix our makeup, deal with periods, freshen up, etc., so it just naturally becomes the place where we are at our most vulnerable and outwardly flawed during the course of the day, and thus a place where we can do little things to help each other when needed. That's also why men entering the women's bathroom is such a big deal, because it's an encroachment upon an area where we are very vulnerable and need to feel safe.
Couldn’t have said it any better
According to my adult son, there is an unspoken etiquette in men's bathrooms which includes personal space and spacing as well as only tracking movement by peripheral vision. Facing someone directly is a breach of that personal space. Conversation is also very limited.
I sympathize with the people in these instances. The entire trans ideology is “oh, if you just do this youll be your true, authentic, happy self!!” But they don’t tell you how harmful it actually is. You find it out on your own when you wake up from this haze.
@@Sippington_McDrinksalotaccording to who?
@@Sippington_McDrinksalothmm ur onto something 🤔
@@Sippington_McDrinksalotPerhaps this is a biological male. Idk. I do know that biological males have become public enemy number one, in about five years. Being also straight anti white, in my case, I confirm that it’s not been encouraging. Judgment is better reserved for behavior, not genetics. Accountability should be given for that which is controllable.
They literally sell people gender "euphoria". Euphoria doesn't last. That's why people get addicted to substances that cause it. When that transition honeymoon period is over...I can't imagine how crushing that would be.
@Sippington McDrinksalot that's the issue. They literally have zero real narrative of what it means to be a man. Just what they've pieced together.. but it'll never be a complete understanding. Which is clear just watching the video. I feel sorry that they were sold a bill of goods that transition was the end all be all answer. Without knowing what it really is like to be a man. Not just look like one.
Ill just say, if any other "man" made this video, bawling, most women would laugh at him.
As a 32-year-old guy, I've had exactly.... one male friend my whole life, everyone else is just "acquaintances". Loneliness is part of our duty as males, but place a 100 men on a battlefield and you'll see how we all become a single unit of brothers. We need shared struggle to bond. If there's no shared struggle, we are just acquaintances. That's why stoicism should be taught at schools.
So true. Reminds me of football in school. You'd be out on teams with people you never socialise with, but as soon as the match starts, everyones in their strongest positions, calling out passes, switching positions, screaming their lungs out. Men and dudes, in general, are the best when there's a singular goal we're all trying to achieve. But in today's world theirs nothing like that. We're in a woman's world now, as much as they may face its an environment where they can thrive the most.
@@s0ne01 Yes, they thrive off of a chaos and destruction. It's why they're naturally so drawn to drama. Amongst all the confusion they can manipulate people and gain power advantages. They don't want to live in a man's world because they can't function optimally in a word of harmony and order-- it bores them to death.
Jordan Peterson explains this much better. And it being a woman's world is precisely the reason why men need to become men again, otherwise it's the collapse of our society.
Men create bonds when they go through hardship together, they stay true to eachother throughout it, and then celebrate together. Those are the ingredients. You will never make friends when working a desk job. Maybe if there's some sort of major crisis and you two pull together to solve it, but that's a rare occurrence.
Interesting. As a wife who was always concerned about my husband's lack of real friends the information about males bonding over common struggles really helps to understand him better. I would have never thought about that. Thank you!
@@s0ne01I know a goal that men should achieve. The American Indians said through an ambassador. Women have been silenced for many centuries. That's why they disappeared. The men now have the task of doing everything they can to enable the women to return. So that the balance between the sexes is restored. In this way the earth can also come into balance.
Part of being a man is to deal with the loneliness in a healthy way. In part, it's what drives us to get married, have kids, connect with community, and appreciate those around us.
Absolutely spot on 💯
Or ride dirt bikes, join local sports leagues, etc...
It's not part of being a man. It's part of existing in a misandrist society
If man never feels the pain of loneliness or singleness then he will not feel the need for relationship. He'll just overindulge in his passions be that business, work or hobbies.
I agree with you!!!
always got so mad when id hear my female coworkers complain about their dating life and then proceed to mention all these guys in their DM's. Then they turn around and tell me how easy i have it.... i have mever been dm'd by any girl besides scammers.
had the exact same situation with my female coworkers a while ago lol. I didn't even knew that's a thing because i've never texted a random woman on instagram and of course never got a dm from a woman
At least you have the scammers
Dm Scammer just guy pretend to be girls maybe ...🤦😆😆
A lot of men are complaing about that but a lot of the men that slide into their dm and approach them are weird and awkward. It's basically like being a millionaire surrounded by homeless people. What I like as a man is that we have the choice to speak to who we want. I used to be super shy, I learned about game and became better socially, hardest thing I had to do in my life but at least I managed to get some pssies ahah.
My advice to anybody that feels super lonely: go to south america or asia and install tinder. It's just different women that will make it easy. And they are way nicer than wester women
@@pierremichel1334your advice is essentially: "if u can't get girls in ur home country, move to poorer countries with lower standards just to get pussy" and u consider that a good advice to pass on to other people? Not a "go outside more, talk to more people, get out of your comfort zone, work on your physical and mental health" bro literally just dropping the craziest advice like that's an example people should follow. I mean it does work you're right but is that even sustainable or something people who actually want a decent partner would want to do? Nah it's just advice for getting girls in a easier way when u can't get them in ur homeland, essentially ur telling people to become passport bros 😭
"Try walking in my shoes... if you try walking in my shoes..... you stumble in my footsteps" - Dave Gahan (Depeche Mode)
Love that song.
in my whole 23 yrs life, no one asked me if I am okay, but it's normal for me, and it didnt bother me, it just feels natural to be lonely.
Same bro. Nobody cares and it's cool.
We lived our whole lives like this unlike transmen who experienced being validated just by existing.
I feel this 100%, and when someone cares (when it's not your family or close friends), it feels odd since you aren't used to getting this sort of attention
its cuz we're built for it naturally, where's women and children arent because they're vulnerable
As a man by the time u realize ur alone u love yourself and u understand how much easier life is alone... once u understand that then we want want a woman and family
I am a 26 yr old male and I just walked home from the store not far from my home. 3 women were walking a head of me and they called someone and said I was following them....I was walking home minding my business and the cops stopped me to figure why I was following them. Stay women it's easier.
Dude, Men and Women don’t view each other the same anymore.
And that is another reason I would never ever help a female stranger being attacked keep it pushing be smart dudes
@@DLWalker0513 That makes no sense. Those were delusional idiotic women wasting the time of police - how does that relate to you refusing to help someone that is ACTUALLY being assaulted? Is it because you think all women are like that so they don't deserve to be saved? Then you've had terrible experiences with women if you think women are like that, you've either had no girlfriend or a girlfriend that cheated on you.
I have to tell you an unfortunate truth. The problem of you not getting along with women isn't because of women, an entire gender. You're the problem.
Same thing happened to me this group of young women were occupying ALL the sidewalk so I was just walking behind them as they walk slow AF then they all turned and stared at me as If Inwas following them. So freaking selfish
Ya'll must live in big cities. I just tip my cowboy hat to the ladies.
I tend to think male friendships are just as deep and meaningful as female friendships. We just take a much longer time to truly trust, rely on, and confide in our friends.
I’ve never seen deep and meaningful friendships between women. Except in movies.
@Aiden Crouch -- This is incorrect. It's not to say that woman-woman friendships cannot be as deep or as meaningful as man-man friendships are, but women interact with each other with a default setting of friendliness. Both men and women do not expect a woman (who is not obviously deranged) to be (1) physically violent or (2) some other kind of hazard. Both men and women do expect a man to have the nonzero possibility of being (1) physically violent or (2) some other kind of hazard. And people approach these standards differently. So, woman-woman relationships are by default easier to form and more common, but genuine trust takes time.
Yeah, it takes a lot more time for us to build up deep and trustful friendships. But when we've one, you can really rely on it. In my experience was it on part of basic training during my military time to build up a kind of this friendship. We call it comrades. And everybody who remember this training and how you got through, will say only as team and thx to your comrades.
The beauty in a brotherly bond is something extraordinary don't let society have you believe it isn't.
We would follow a man to hell with enough inspiration.
Over the trenches son.
You cry like that in front of other men, you’ll be told to sit down to pee while somebody phones the whambulance.
So have a nice tall glass of man the fuck up and deal with your shit cause collapsing into an emotional oil spill is not permitted.
Seeing how lonely men feel I started including my little brother more in activities, even the ones that I usually only do with my little sister. If the world doesn't treat him fairly, I want to be the one thing that does.
I once had a girlfriend as me about who supported me through my youth. She had a very loving grandparent who was always positive and supportive so she assumed everyone had that. When I told her I only had myself she was shocked. Just couldn't understand that. I thought it was normal. As a man your mostly left to figure it out for yourself. Fail or succeed it's up to you. No shits given.
No shits given.
No shits given
My ex always said i didnt have friends because i was weird. I dumped her, 2 years later but yeah i did, i was able to be myself and only then i understood, nobody is going to be there for me if they dont want, only i am. I have a new gf and she is everything a guy can ask for, dedicated, sympathetic, supportive, she hypes me u0 as i do her, i am not afraid to hide stuff from her because i know she will try to understand or at lesst be there for me no questions asked. My ex was exactly the opposite she was a tyoical girl who had everything in thw tip of her fingers, never had to worry about money, never was alone because she is the kind of girl who is never alone, she had male friends who she had kissed before and i had to shake their hands, and las byt not least... she had friends who wera d1cks (both male and female). It was annoying being there and not being me and she never was with me she kust wanted the confort. I hope she fixes herself in europe and does. What she proposes and changes, if not no guy will ever want to be with her
Men need to start with yourselves and be there for your brothers, sons, nephews, uncles. But men are too lazy to do it.
Except for maybe your parents... you're on your own.
As a man, we grow up with all this stuff already installed. The loneliness, the disposability of our sex, everything. Over many years it takes for a man to even accept and live with this feeling. To think one can just shortcut all that development by transitioning, man, you're in for a ride!
Exactly
This, ive felt loneliness my entire life. I didnt even grow up with my mother or close family. This feeling of loneliness is a part of me now to the point that I dont know what normal is like. Imagine a woman who is always loved no matter how bad her personality is, always have friends and the world revolves around her to suddenly become a man. It would be a literal exodus from everything she knew. People who say men and women are the same are liars!
Bro don't start getting gaegae soft on me now
"the disposability of our sex" what does that mean?
Dicks are easily replaced.. like within hours you could go out find a new dick.. then leave him too. Guys gotta work to get a woman and keep a woman, and we all know that within men and women that WONEN hold all the cards.. what’s a guy going to do.. threaten to withhold sex.. there’s literally a power dynamic and they have it all, so our sex is literally disposable, you can get a guy for sex out of a vending machine pretty much that easy.. men however well.. haha just look at all the ridiculous dating coaches and swag consultants and alpha sigma delta Greek letters or whatever.. men have a whole subculture of trying to out-game a woman they’re interested in.. because we gotta be nationally ranked social chess champions to get laid these days..
As a guy, yes it is lonely. But growing up and being born a male you learn to live with it. We deal with our emotions differently. Unlike most women, men usually have to rely on a small group of close friends in order to open up to. Life is hard dont make it harder by pretending to be something you were not born to be.
Agreed. Sometimes women don’t have a lot of friends ( myself) either. People have to prove themselves to be a friend over time.
Yeah. Well said. Wanted to state something very similar
I think the whole point to the suicide part is… not every man feels that way. Not every man just “deals with it” .
What a load of shit I'm 68yrs old we had poverty we didn't have time to be a emotional wreck like you we where true people who had to get on with our lives and you young think you've got it hard get a grip I wish you well my friend just think of someone worse than you and you will feel better
@@tailsfrontiers1224 True but not all men kill themselves because they fell lonley. Sometimes its feeling useless. I'd rather be kicked in the nuts eveyday than feel useless everyday.
Men are told that being lonely is cool. But we all don't feel that way. Some want to feel like they belong.
I like being alone, people piss me off
Being a man is about being unwanted and working to be wanted. It is about being unloved and working to be loved. It is about being accused for EVERYTHING negative, and learning to withstand that treatment. We do not get to have people want us unless we meet little checkboxes. Our "privilege" is to be vilified and unwanted.
This. 100% this.
"men are only loved under the condition that he provides something."
That breaks my heart...
Bro this is your reality
I have to say it depends on the individual themselves. I've dated a guy and I was hugging him and ask him "how are you? How was your day? after he arrived from work with dinner waiting for him, laundry done, clean house. But, I was seeing, hearing and feeling from him he is not into this friendly and compassionate thing like hugging. I felt that he didn't want to be hugged when we were alone, however, he only wanted to be hugged and hold hands when we were around his friends. I was seeing and feeling as though I was his "Barbi doll" to him around his friends. Then, he started telling me that I am too distant from him. Well, I felt like I was just his roommate and cleaning mate especially how he was speaking and treating me around his workers the same exact way as those working men. I couldn't handle this for too long and started acting like him or completely ignoring him. The relationship went down hill very quickly. P.S the guy had a much closer relationship with his electronics (phones and computers) even at dinners, yes on our anniversary. It was never a romantic dinner for me when he was absolutely hugging his phone on our special day year after year. He was on his phone the entire time when he introduced me to his parent for the first time at dinner. His parents were more interested in me than him.
I'm a man and I'd say I have about 10 friends. I've known all of them most of my life. Some of us are super social and go to "guys night" at a buddies house every friday, Most of us go every 6 months or so. We treat each other with respect, because we respect each other. We genuinely care about each other and end our phone calls with "I love you man". Surround yourself with good people and you don't need to worry about things like being vulnerable or ego nonsense.
It sounds to me like this person misses being seen as a woman.
So damn wholesome
youre doing life right!
Brett, is that you?
10 good friends? I have read ‘a man with three good friends is a rich man’. I have three good friends, I am a rich man. I love my brothers. You sir are a billionaire and I am pleased for you. Treasure your brothers.
Understandable and yea guys have those friendships, but usually you jave 2 or 3 friends like this the real good ones. ( My view on this is propably sqewed by being introvert, but still) you sre lucky to have 10 buddies like this, but still I would gues that you dont talk about your emotions all the time and if you do you most likely joke about certant thinks.
The I love you goodbye, is most likely cultural think as in my language it would sound really weird. But we also have like 10 different meaning of "I love you"
No one told you because no one cares. Dudes don't talk to each other in restrooms. It goes against man law.
Atleast no more than a 'hey' if eye contact is made.
@@khululyp In a bathroom, if eye contact is made, there's already a problem.
As man to another man, we are not alone for we are in this together. Stay safe out their, brothers.
There was a post on Facebook that asked "what would you do if you woke up as the opposite gender for a day?" So many women said they would go out and sleep with as many women as they could. And all us guys could do was sit there and laugh cuz they really think it's that easy. They had no concept of rejection.
Do you consider yourself to be an incel, by chance?
So, they'd sleep with no women?
Most guys nowadays have no concept of rejection.
I am a woman and I have been rejected by a guy 💀 wonder what that says about me if no other woman allegedly has 😂
@@SussurroDiMezzanotte a guy, as in a singular experience?
As a 29 yo biological male, ive never seen a single one of my friends cry over life. It just is what it is. If they thought life for a man was sweet, unfortunately they learned the hard way that isnt true. I feel for this person.
At night when thoughts getting deeper and much more depressing, much of them are suicidal, some guys tear up a bit, not even crying, but their eyes are sore. But nights passes, they wake up with blank face and spend whole day without even a thought about sharing it with somebody else. Because even this man himself doubts that he will get any help and not just disgrace himself
Exactly.
Even if a biological man does cry about his outcome due to trauma, for example, it doesn't make him less than a man. But transitioning into the opposite sex and expecting the result to be better/different is purely self-deception
In the past I have wondered how much people assume that the troubles they have in life are not shared by straight men due to their inherent “privilege”. Like perhaps they believe that these men are just walking around totally chill, never feeling vulnerable or self conscious to be anywhere at any time.
You learn to stop crying as a kid because you realize life has a lot more bullshit coming your way and crying about it won’t do a thing
Even as a child, when my father told me to "Be a man!", I didn't quite fully understand at the time but I damn sure knew what he meant. Suffer because you can take it. Suffer so others don't have to. BE A MAN.
That is our purpose.
As Christ suffered on the cross?
Or because none cares
@@reapthewhirlwind4166and the unknown soldier that lost his life in battle, please state your point
@@cybermgothat we are all Jesuses
Man transforms to woman, wins woman of the year award.
Woman transforms to man, complains about how hard & lonely it is being a man.
Yet they keep talking about male privilege.
Men bond by completing tasks together. Respect is earned by those who are willing to do what is required. We don't build bonds verbally, we build them through actions..
The relationship she is talking about is the type of relationship that I seek with women but not with men. I don't feel a desire to know any man on that level. I would rather argue and compete with my friends.
We build bonds by building staff together 😂🎉
Indeed. I wrestled in high school and we finished top 5 in the county 3 years in a row (96-98). Those friendships have endured the test of time.
I think that's the mos succinct and straightfoward explanation I've heard.
This has not been my experience. Sure, there is a certain level of connection through completing tasks, but it's always left lacking. I have always built relationships verbally and emotionally, and it's so rare among men. The tasks are the potential gateway to relationship, but until we bare our souls and feelings and desires and vulnerable life pursuits, it's all pretty empty.
As a biological male, I can honestly say this resonated with me on some points.
I may not need as much social interaction as what girls normally look for and initiate, but I've recently moved to a new job and making new friends/having a social life, or being able to get a hug from someone is incredibly hard. And it sucks, it really really hurts sometimes
If you're relatively young, enroll in a class that interests at the local college/university and go to clubs/events If you don't need the college credit, check to see if you can formally _Audit_ the class for zero-cost while maintaining enrollment status student entitlements/discounts (don't over-play the hand though). If you're older you can still try that, might be out of place though. Look for professional events in your field, or volunteer at recreational/athletic events (festivals/marathons). The volunteering will give you a reason to be there if you feel awkward even going in the first place... and it will also give you a reason to talk to people/give people a reason to you.
When was the last compliment you got? You probably remember exactly when it was and who gave it to you (if it hasn't been too long). That's one of the tricks. Compliment something of his (car, wallet, suit, etc). BetterBachelor had a video (don't remember which one) where he sent a letter to his neighbors because some of the neighbor boys were on his property during construction and wanted to warn them to be safe.... got flooded with welcomes from the neighbor men inviting him to all sorts of shit. You can always send off "Hello i'm your new neighbor, here's what I'm good at if you need help with it."
I'm sure I don't have to tell you that most married men are just itching for a way to get away from the house and find new pals to "go out with the boys". You might not even be married/dating and you're looking for that too. Just some things to try.
@@randomuserameyours should be a top comment. This is masterclass on building friendship when older
I wanna hug you right now😌
are you a e believer? If you truly are....start going to church....I get hugs from both men and women every Sunday and it's amazing...
problem is most people today are godless, so this doesn't resonate with most....
sad
Find a Church nearby, they tend to have social activities.
As a guy who’s still fortunate to have friends, I’ll have this to say : it’s precisely because we’re so used to loneliness that we value our friends so much and keep them as long as we can. Because we know the moment we lose them, we likely will not make any new friends. And loneliness in men fucking kills us.
You wouldn’t believe how lonely my dad has grown over time, when I acknowledged how much he suffered from the abuse our mother has put all of us through he burst into tears. He went 30 years without being able to tell anyone. Of course we knew, but as his children, he tried to shield us from her first and foremost at his own expanse. He couldn’t tell us these things for the vast majority of his life and ours. Being a man is not easy, but most women these days believe it’s all smooth sailing.. They’ve no idea how wrong they are.
Maybe they only look to 1% of male, that have beauty privileges and have inheritances from their parents
I have very few friends, and I’m 43. My wife and I are best friends. I love spending my time with her and I love my own company. Most perfect le let you down anyway.
That's what Man's bestfriend is for. I've lost close friends one way or the other but my Dog is always here.
Everything fell apart because of feminism, because before the madness women and men knew they needed each other and community.
you still don’t have it harder than us🤷♀️ women are lonely too
One of the most frustratingly toxic ideas in all of modern society is the idea of the "mama's boy" as a weakness or pejorative as if that makes you less of a man. What women don't understand and can never understand is how most men for most of their lives receive no positive feedback, no emotional security, no attention, no understanding, no happiness, not even a HUG from anyone except their moms.
Guys operate on respect.
You earn respect by being competent.
You develop friendships through common interests.
If you're lonely and online complaining about it, 9x out of 10 something is wrong with you and you haven't figured it out yet, a feeling of loneliness only comes from the idea that you couldn't interact with someone if you chose to, and damn that's a horrible place to be in for anyone.
True.The value of a man lies in what he can provide with his actions.Competence,leadership,experience,etc...If you fail at in earn respect NOBODY its gonna give you the time of day...
That’s true, I joined a gun club 7 months ago and have made afew good light friendships
That's true
@@kevinleewilliams5119 " a feeling of loneliness only comes from the idea that you couldn't interact with someone if you chose to"
A female that isn't comfortable in their own body transitions to have male secondary sex characteristics and alters their behaviour to blend in socially has a hard time connecting and interacting with other males? Who could have possibly seen that coming?!
I’m not anti-trans, but someone who decides to transition should be aware that their emotions won’t change even if their appearances do. They cannot expect the opposite gender to sympathize. Even married couples (husbands and wives) can’t understand each other because of emotions and lack thereof. Imagine a closeted trans man going up to a buddy in tears saying, “Why won’t you be my friend? You just don’t understand how I feel!” 😂
Yea exactly, no matter how much u watch and learn and study, its a whole another level to live in the other gender's shoes, sometimes it takes a life time experience to adjust with your natural gender, imagine someone adding to their plate more struggle.
I would laugh at that person.
I wonder if a large part of that guy's problem is that he hates himself because he's now a man.
I'd be supportive. I don't derive any pleasure out of seeing someone suffer. But I'm in a minority, I suppose. Welcome to psycho world.
If my buddy came to me crying like that I would make him suck it up. Male friendships are usully that you are dicks to each others constantly and than you laugh it out over beer.
Me and my friends have a saying. "You recognice a real friend when he is a dick to you consistently. "
You can talk about deaper stuff from time to time, but in 99% of the time those conversations arent about feelings and end quite fast and talk returns to the normal male small talk.
If your a male, you risk ending up lonely.
Because having true friends in life is a privilege in a man's life
Actually it's really easy
...so long as you didn't grow up in a repressive society like America, where feminists attack men just for being men, like for example by labelling literally EVERYBODY as potential rapists that need to be educated not to be rapists.
And putting young boys down, saying you can't do anything right unless a girl first shows you how and a girl will always be better anyway. That's the message Hollywood has been pumping out for many years now into young boys' minds.
And of course it's a total lie. Girls aren't better fighters after training for 2 days than the guys who been at it for 10 years. In the real world, these girls could never beat any guy at all. It's all just a big feminist lie and a total joke. And it's supposed to make girls feel good about themselves, when actually it barely helps in that regard, except make girls needlessly think they're better than they actually are...
... and the effect it has on the boys is that their self esteem just gets completely destroyed. And as a consequence of this society men themselves also become toxic to each other. They start to believe the lie that they must always turn to only girls for comfort and guidance. They make fun of other guys or act awkward or extremely offended if one gets too close them, instead of just playing it off and having fun with it as friends.
They act like what they've been taught, that only a woman can get things right, and you can only talk to her about your emotional issues and not with any other man cos that's just soo unmanly or gay and you're not gay, AREEEEE YOU????
That sort of attitude that you should only ever turn to a woman, can actually be dangerous, because SOME women can be emotionally violent, much more so than another man and will therefore abuse or manipulate a man emotionally, to the point where he's just totally lost all will. Also, like the girl in this video said, women don't even know what it's like to be a man, so how are they going to give the best advice? The logic doesn't even make any sense!
It's all just so lamee hahahahahaha... BUT I do feel for the guys who fall for this crap and who don't know how to play the system.... who got the totally wrong idea of what it means "to be a man", which to them, is apparently looking like "the rock" loool. They never left the country and seen what other societies are like in the east. Not everyone is as repressed as the west
Just pray you're not a man who ends up in a nursing home. Then you find out you really didn't have friends afterall. Faith is all you have left in the end.
@@DaNinja60 If you end up there, you got noone to blame but yourself for raising your kids in a way that they won't take care of you when you're old and you have to go to a nursing home in the first place
As a biological man I agree 100%, honestly I’ve never seen a lonely woman ( I’m not meaning there are not). Personally for me, is really hard to make friends or establish relationships.
Just because you havent seem doesnt mean they dont exist. I'm a woman and i'm very lonely, never in my life i had close friendships.
Difference being that men are built to handle solitary lifestyles. Women do not handle being solitary nearly as well (if at all really), which is why they naturally gravitate towards things like having long conversations in a bathroom stall with people taking dumps in the background.
They do it because they are naturally desiring far more social contact than a man would ever need. There is nothing wrong with that, just like there is nothing wrong with men not speaking more than one word (if any) as passersby to other men.
@@moonamoonz yeah that's because you're lazy and don't try, simple as that. literally put in 0.1% effort and watch your problems melt away
same. reading comments on here and I am getting a bit annoyed actually, because this is not a male thing, it's a human thing.@@moonamoonz
@@moonamoonzDid you just decide to not read their comment? He said clearly *“(I’m not meaning they are not)”*
You hit nail on the head Amala. This type of emotional connection is not what we as men want from each other. We still make strong friendships, but they're based on shared interest, trust, and loyalty, rather than emotion. We generally seek to make our emotional connections with women, and to our children.
You also hit the nail on the head.
True
A few years ago I heard someone say "If sports didn't exist, it would be necessary to create them so men would have something to talk about with each other."
Facts!!!
100%
I find this interesting because as a kid I (a woman) really wished I could be a boy for the opposite reason. I was lonely and really wasn’t able to form friendships with other girls. Meanwhile I saw my brother making friends with everyone he met and eventually having a core group of very close friends that are like brothers to him. I felt like an alien with the girls I grew up around but got along well with the boys. Constantly being separated by gender pulled me away from my male friends as we got older; by middle school I felt very alone and thought being a boy would have fixed that. I think that a lot of the young women that try transitioning (especially in or after puberty) are the ones that never felt accepted as women by other women.
I totally agree, and that is what happened to me. When I was little, all my friends were boys except for one girl. But when I started to grow up, and puberty came, no one but 2 of my friends said that they were in love with me. After a while, the group dissappear.
Tomboys nowadays destroying their bodies because they dont fit well. So sad
That's the upside of being a guy growing up, our friendships are way different from how women's are.. Our friendships is almost like a tribe mentality, we stick to each other through thick and thin! But we also learn from each other, we use each others successes in life as motivation to become better almost like a competition (even tho it's not, just hard to describe exactly what it's like).. I know my friends will have my family's back even after i'm gone..
But later when you become older you go from being just a boy to being looked at as a potential treat from everyone both men and women, so it can quickly turn dark and cold
Yeah it's a double edged sword for women. Lots of superficial friendships but hard to find women who are deep and don't just affirm everything you say and talk shit behind your back. I bet your brother rarely sees any of those old friends of his and as he gets older they drift further apart. We all would be better off living in a smaller communal / tribal society.
women face misogyny/hate from a little age so i get why would you have thoughts of being a boy/man
I think a lot of trans people are kidding themselves when they think they know what it feels like to be the opposite sex. This video kinda proves it. This person has transitioned, and was shocked at how it actually feels to be a man. This kind of experiences should not be swept under the rug.
This conversation reminds me of an experience I had when I was 14. I went to a small high school and sat next to the same guy in almost every one of my classes that year. I'd say we were acquaintances (not friends because I was very socially awkward and shy at that age HAHA) and talked a decent amount. One day in our math class, we finished a partner assignment early and were chit chatting and he told me that "he liked me because I was nice to him and most girls weren't."
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that it makes me sad, as a woman, that basic respect and kindness was enough for someone I didn't know too well to notice and mention it to me. Obviously I will never fully understand what it's like being a man but as someone who has spent a lot of time around men, I think you are the coolest. I genuinely mean it too and I'm not sure how much it means from a random TH-cam comment but I hope any man reading this realizes how much I appreciate and respect all of you. Keep your chin up :)
Very well said, we as women need to convey this more.
As a man, thank you.
That was an awesome statement. Thank you
this reminds me of a guy from my high school who told me about a comment that i made to him about 25-30 years ago...he remembered it and i didn't . he told me that i said that he looked cute with his glasses off. go figure.
🙌
This absolutely breaks my heart. Loneliness is no joke, no matter who you are
Well men should be more supportive of one another.
I can say with certainty that the "no matter who you are" part of your statement is simply wrong.
@@claff4573 women should stop lying to one another.
You can only be lonely if you don’t enjoy being alone 🤷🏼♂️ love yourself and tell yourself you are enough
@@ThePride110 "humans aren't social animals!" -You
As a biological male, in my youth I tried reaching out to people whenever I wanted to get something out of my system. Only to find out that while someone might "hear" you, their perception of you as a man lessens. So I turned; not knowing better; to the bottle (alcohol). Later on I managed to get myself out of the hole. But still No one else but you can deal with whatever goes on with your life. Very few people "listen" to your problems and genuinely try to help. You just have to endure and figure out how to change your circumstances and dig yourself out of the hole.
We just need some kind of healthy outlet, something like a hobby.
@Eng Med Yes this is true.Mines are TH-cam obviously and gaming.I love to grill and cook too.I gave up Facebook like a yr ago.I also write but my brain is so uninspired by all of this woke bs going on in the country.And I'm adjusting to being sober.Being a man is so hard and it's so sad that we are treated so horribly.
@@HorusTheGrey_17 I write, study Scripture, listen to music, hunt, fish, camp, etc.
I think some cultures are lonely. Im a woman, and I can tell you that I feel so many lonely people. I see that our lifestyle is just wrong, and unfortunately, most people can't even recognize that they are on that path until it gets to the breaking point.
You can open up to a male friend that you have shared hardship, good times with together.
I have never ever gotten or wanted a hug from a friend and 99% of the hugs i have gotten is because im comforting THEM!! Welcome to manhood where your are here to hold the world on our backs even when people hate us for doing it.
As a man I can confirm that life is quite lonely. I think that is why most men just bury themselves in work. Most men haven’t even heard a compliment in years or had anything nice said to them from a woman that wasn’t their family member. Not saying it’s anyone’s fault just stating facts. Sad thing is I don’t think there is any way to fix this.
Why do you need compliments from women, what about the other MEN you're spending time with...women compliment each other all the time
Yup, no way to fix it because its of mens own doing or a primal need. As a female wife and mother, I compliment and serve my husband daily, and it doesn't seem to matter. it's a thankless job. I dunno of males want attention from someone other than those closest to them or what....beats the hell out me. I don't know what the fk this man wants.. but I'm certain it's not attention from me. It's unfortunate that a man, having us, wants attention from another female....
I can admit, at this point, I feel the same.. so who's needs aren't getting met here? I do as much as i possibly can and it's not enough...so basically i give 0 fucks that men are lonely.
If you watch the Whatever Podcast most of the girls that are brought on all consider themselves 10s but the guys don't. That's because girls are reinforced for years that they can do anything, they're hot, they're beautiful, they're strong, the "you go girl" attitude. Men are taught that they need to stop being aggressive, they need to check their toxic masculinity, they need to listen to what women have to say. I constantly hear that we live in a Patriarchy but the USA is 100% more feminine focused. Men don't receive compliments and affirmation constantly like women do.
As a women, I have actually started giving random guys compliments for this very reason. I have heard it means a lot and happens so rarely you never know when someone might need a pick me up and just saying someone has nice shoes is some times enough
Good point. Success in the work place is a man's form of emotional validation that women get from their social groups.
Being a man is fighting alone. Being a man is knowing that nobody cares about your pain. Being a man is knowing that nobody will value you unless you provide them something. Being a man is being seen as a predator until proven otherwise. Being a man is being told you are evil for something that you did not choose. Being a man is hard.
Beautiful words, mate, thanks.
Damn.
Wow
i hope you can find a woman that sees your heart and completes you❤- a biological woman
I think women look to the top 1% of men and imagine that is the life all men lead. If a woman can transition into that kind of man, then maybe it will improve her life. But most women will transition into an average man, and that will be a downgrade in practically every way.
"And I'm an emotionally mature man."
The insanity of this statement is frankly unreal.
Oh shit someone beat me to it 😂
And it's said cryingly 🤦♂️😂
Amen. This is what passes for emotional maturity in women.
The entire video is so incredibly female centric. Women consider themselves far emotionally superior, yet are lead by their emotions so often...
@@jstone5239 *always. Not "so often". Men are logical beings. Women are emotional beings.
I’m a man and all my male friends are vulnerable with me and talk about their feelings. It’s not as often but when it’s necessary we know we can talk to each other.
Thank you Amala for pointing out that men's brains are different from women's brains. Nobody ever says that in these issues. They just focus on the physical aspect of transitioning. The emotional side is completely ignored.
The physical doesnt even exist though as well because its literally impossible to transition into the other sex.
@@ahamilton3435 that is the crux of gender dysforia. it is certainly real but it is all around what you proceed and not what you experience. you proceed yourself as something different yet completely oblivious of the experience. whilse the gender itself being just a role. well, its both true and false. it is true the roles a set based on what we proceed of our surroundings but it is also highly connected with basic instinct and how our brain function.
Oh, but trans people very OFTEN say they have the "brain" of the other sex and they say anything contrary to that belief is not scientifical. You cannot argue with them on that point, because they just simply reject facts. (As in many other points as well.)
@@ahamilton3435 You can alter yourself up to a certain point, but fundamentally, you are born to be what you are.
You are born a man or a woman, then that's what you are, that's how you should live and that's how you will die as.
And nothing can ever change that.
There's evidence hormone therapy changes brain structure.
Making a friend as a man is different. We share absolutely nothing about our personal lives but we can still talk for hours about our hobbies. I’ve been friends with a dude for 15 years and only 2 years ago did I realize his parents were divorced. It took that long because we never talked about our personal lives. We all just learn to deal with our own crap because we don’t want to put it on someone else. I really hope this person figures out a solution to her problem and I really hope her life improves from this moment.
I like that you referred to “him” as her. Which is what she is. Unfortunately she’ll never fully understand what it’s like to be a man because she is not wired like that and no amount of hormone replacement therapy will change her cellular and spiritual makeup to be like a man.
I'm a male psychologist. Most of my clients are young men. They often feel lonely, purposeless, and villified. As a generalisation, men do not connect with each other through open emotional displays.
Men relate through shared action (e.g., sports team members), feeling understood, and gestures that demonstrate appreciation (e.g., helping a friend wash their car).
These things only appear superficial to women and modern society because there's a lot of unspoken communication between men. They are not unemotional, they just see and care about different things.
There is value in both ways of being, if we could all just learn to respect each as meaningful in their own way.
You sounded alright until that last sentence.
"As a generalisation, men do not connect with each other through open emotional displays."
This is how women connect. Not men. If your theory teaches men to open up emotionally and display their feelings. They will now be seen as weak, emotional and sensitive. Which to other men is a red flag. And if you don't understand that, you are not a man. Men need a different angle to the same problem.
@@douwe4254 It says "do NOT" ... Maybe you misread the sentence.
@@douwe4254 Dude, read the next sentence in his comment: "Men relate through shared action".
John Gray explains that estrogen causes women to talk much more about emotions.
The estrogen in their body is suppressing testosterone.
Estrogen is about emotions, and testosterone is about problem-solving.
Testosterone is suppressing the estrogen in a man´s body so he can focus more, because testosterone suppresses also emotions.
He also says that when women are under stress, the estrogen causes their brain focuses
10 times more on negative things than when men are under stress.
So it seems that nature and evolution created it this way, to make men problem-solvers and to suppress their emotions, to focus better.
He says that when a woman is under stress, the estrogen causes that she is talking about various negative things.
She wants to be heard by her husband and she is frustrated that he does not listen to her.
When she notices that he is listening to her, her estrogen level goes up.
I guess as a woman, women should probably practice some yoga or pilates to not be in stress, or turn off the television etc.
Because if a man is designed to be a problem solver thanks to testosterone,
he can not focus if she interrupts his mind with various stuff, that probably are not always justified....or that came from the television.
And he is not a person who can read a mind of others while trying to focus on something.
I guess if the father has 3 daughters with estrogen, in puberty..... he can solve the problem by giving them empathy and love, so they will not turn to some unnecessary stress that causes their brain to notice the negative things much more often than the male brain.
And if the testosterone makes him calm and focused and has a sense of humor, it shouldn´t be a problem to calm down his wife and 3 daughters in puberty, while their estrogen makes them all notice the negative stuff much more than his brain as a father.
Testosterone was probably designed in that way, therefore there are so many good male philosophers, musicians, artists, and scientists.
Women love humor too, so it's a good tool if it is not vulgar humor but innocent humor.
John Gray helps men and women how to communicate with each other.
He said his wife shouldn´t ask how do you feel but "What do you think?...because if she forces him to show a lot of emotions, it is against his biology, and testosterone....at the moment.
The husband shouldn´t ask his wife What do you think? but How do you feel?...because female biology is more about feelings and emotions and if he forces her to be masculine and with no emotions.... it is against her biology.
It seems if both use humor and empathy, and compassion and gratitude, it creates a beautiful couple that inspires others too.
That they dont see the differences but the balance. Probably yoga and sports help too. If both love to do some sport or hobbies.
It seems to have testosterone is also a good benefit for a man, to focus on tasks to be creative.
We as humans dont want our minds to be occupied by too many emotions. So men should use a positive self-talk, not the negative one.
Gratitude helps to get confidence.
Estrogen is probably also a good benefit for a woman to express emotions, so she may nurture a child.
and if she is in stress she may notice how to save the child. The estrogen makes her notice the negative things 10 times more than when man is under stress.
But it seems empathy and gratitude help both genders to get balance and complement both genders.
But also both genders should make a compliment about each other´s skills so the artificial intelligence will not create chaos with the algorithm.
and think that we want to be uni-gender, nonbinary etc.
It seems when men get older, they get more estrogen and when women get older they get more testosterone.
It seems nature is very smart, but gives the benefits to people who are emphatic, nice and helping others.
Men are lonely when they are in a relationship
Being a man, friends are nearly impossible unless you spend forced time with them. Work or a hobby gathering. You can never just approach a woman without her automatically thinking you're a creep or am asshole and even chit chat is uncomfortable unless you're 10/10 hot. Being a man is extremely lonely and after putting yourself out there so much, it's easier to bury yourself in your job or hobbies than to make an effort.
Facts!
So sorry that’s your experience! My husband struggled to find and maintain friendships after we moved as well but with hosting lots of gatherings and experimenting with new hobbies he managed to keep his circle of friends and even meet some new people who he now sees on a regular basis. (They play table top games at our house once a week and another group he sees for sport events) I think it is possible to get and stay connected with people but it IS a lot of work.
@@Ninitschga yes possible with a wife like you!
It is hard making friends as a man BUT the friends you do make you know are well earned and deserved. We don't like sticking around for bullshit.
Or humanshit 😂😂
amen brother/sister/whatever you like. We make friends that last a lifetime and more.
Its hard to make long lasting friends as anyone
This is bulls. I bet you haven't had enough life experience yet to self praise like that
Yes. Men don't make friends easily. But when we do, it's solid.
As a male crisis worker and as a biological man myself I can attest to the fact that men find it patronizing to be affirmed rather than the pursuit of finding solutions to particular problems. Men bond and grow through mentorship and this is the basis of their friendship rather than one that simply affirms feelings which is only really seen in a relation to a mother and her son.
couldnt agree more.
Fun. I'm a woman but most of my relationships, well, all, are mentorship or comradeship. I don't have fuzzy touchy feely relationships. Not that I don't want one, but I can't find one, and I'm under the impression that most women can't either
So true, what you said and this video in general made me think about the joke Louis CK does about overhearing two women talking in a restaurant about a guy one of the girls was dating saying he's really busy and the other girl was like "fuck him, he's a piece of shit" instead of offering actual advice she affirmed the absolute worst negative about the guy
yea brotherhood is earned not given.
i was told, and may be you as a man can confirm this, that friendships between men are rooted far more in mutual respect that has to be earned, then in a feeling of an emotional connection.
It’s annoying to watch biological women complaining about what it’s like to be a man, because in my opinion, most men don’t experience these things AS PROBLEMS. I’m not saying there aren’t lonely men who struggle to make friends. I’m saying we don’t desire the same KIND of relationships or friendships that women have with their friends. She’s missing and longing for things we don’t necessarily long for the same way.
I value my space and time alone tremendously.
And I don’t even want my lifelong friends to hug me, smile at me, or talk to me in the bathroom, let alone a stranger.
Sometimes I overhear my wife and her friends talking and giggling and I’m just like “how tf are they having fun right now?”
In general, I think the sadness she experiences as a “man” is underscored by the fact that she’s not a man and therefore doesn’t view the world the way a man does and isn’t equipped to navigate even the most basic male experiences.
That being said, my friendships are extremely deep. I have a circle of friends that I’ve known since childhood and I’m 35 now. I have no desire to add any surface level friendships. If I make another friend along the way, that’s fine, but it’s not something I long for. So that’s the caveat. For men who haven’t established deep friendships like that, it can definitely be a challenge to build them, largely due to ppl like me who aren’t necessarily looking for new friendships.
Also, I think most men have a singular vision for their future and their life and if you don’t fit into it, you’re taking valuable time away. So that’s another barrier.
I find it annoying from a biological women complaining about being a man. You are not a man. You are a woman
As a girl who has only guy friends (due to my hobbies all being generally more guy hobbies) I’ve learned Being a guy has just as many cons as being a girl. Women are so fast to crap on men. Being a man is lonely. Being a man is just being expected to tough it out. Being a man is going to therapy and instead of being treated for depression being treated as a threat. Being a man is constantly having to have your emotions together while your girl yells at you but if you lose your cool or raise your voice you are an “abuser”. It’s nobody actually asking if you are ok. It’s your parents treating you like crap but because your the son you are still supposed to just take care of things for them. And what’s most dangerous I feel for young men, it’s the bombardment of society deciding that as a young man you are the “problem” and the reason the world is in shambles. Everyone all about that feminism until the draft hits or something breaks and needs fixing.
Considering the fact that all of the problems you mentioned are a by product of the patriarchy and feminism is about abolishing the patriarchy, maybe men would actually benefit from it? Hmmm…🤔
@@Julie-qr9ow You cant even define patriarchy much less show that it exists, you might as well try to prove that god exists.
Yeah being a man is just as tough with none of the benefits. On the flipside most relationships between women are pretty shallow.
you really took this as an opportunity to boast your antimale agenda. Disgusting the fact that you can't even see that's what your advocating for. In a true patriarchy no women voting, no women in the work force, no women in the military .People don't give a fuck what men have to say, men's rape victims communities are laughed at and mocked, while being taken down by feminists. Today's men are lonely and are killing themselves and it's because of people like you
@@Julie-qr9ow , No one benefits from today's feminism. It's been perverted to the point that it is not pro women but anti men. Feminism encourages women to fight their natural instincts and blame men for everything they don't like. The end result from today's feminism is usually a mid 30s woman felling unfulfilled and regret. and men not wanting anything to do with women. No one benefits from today's feminism.
this is what happens when you don't teach your kids there's consequences to every action & to think before they do.
@Sippington McDrinksalot huh??
This bio woman should have stayed a woman.
@@Sippington_McDrinksalot NO, It's about the difference a transitioned woman experienced, that she'd never been able to imagine about how it is to be a man!
seems their claim that they are men trapped in women's bodies was not really true.....
otherwise she'd have known what hard, cruel life is coming her way...
@@Sippington_McDrinksalot Are you GUESSING that?
The comment they made about people crossing the street to avoid you really hits home.
Literally happens to me so often I don't even bother noticing it half the time, I just keep myself to myself.
Not really cross the street, but I have noticed more than once in my short 10 minute walking commute to work that people just tend to avoid making eye contact with me. I am, for the record, a 39 year old male of south east asian descent.
That's interesting. I've personally never crossed the street just to avoid someone.
Avoiding eye contact is something I do though. Maybe I should say hi to people more. But the problem there is I don't want people to think I'm hitting on them. I think a lot of people, myself included have issues telling when they're being hit on vs when someone is just trying to be nice.
To be fair... I'll cross the street to avoid old ladies... that's also a social anxiety thing. I try to make eye contact and smile at people when I HAVE to pass them.... but they never do it back and I'm a woman.. I feel like that's just a people thing in 2023.
People do that with me all the damn time maybe I need to get better at stalking 😂
To be fair, I would also cross the street if I see a humanoid walking lizard. No offense
You notice the phrase is "walk a mile in someone else's shoes" not heels.
Just being human is lonely. I am a woman and all those "connections" that you can have with other women are completely lies. Women are great at being fake. If your a woman who is not very good at being fake or is very truthful (even in a kind way) than life is just as lonely.
I can talk with other women easily, there isn't a real barrier but close connections are harder, especially when you get older. Everyone's experience is different. I've had expectations based on movies and TV about friendships, love and family that were not realistic.
Exactly.
I agree with this 100%. As a woman, I've never had a conversation with another woman in the bathroom. Why would I? I need a piss, wash my hands so I can get the he** out of there he he..Also, I don't get the "women go to the toilet together"- thing.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to shit on women, I just think it can be hard to deal with other females. I guess that's why I, for the most part, have male friends and get along with men so easily. 😊
I've never had a fake relationship with a woman and I'm young. All my female friends are great, and it feels nice to hear someone actually care and listen to you.
never had that kind of 'connection' either in bathrooms, and it's not as easy to make new friends once the kids have left primary school {the only post-college situation i made new friends...}, though at work it can happen, i guess... but bathrooms - never...
My roommate (exwife) moved out a year and half ago and during this time I had 2 surgeries to repair a complete quad tendon tear. Not able to walk, stuck in bed for months, and it's just me and Benny, my dog. I'm an introvert and don't want to bother anyone for help. I've been lonely most of my adult life, and I'm surprised I'm still here after the last 2 years. Keep up the fight guys, you never know what the future holds!
Damn bro, tough times.
Make sure to keep feeding Benny, he's going to need to last you awhile ;)
How about instead of saying keep up the fight you tell men to be more supportive of one another.
Just curious you don't have to answer if it's too personal. But how do you get around with no help like for doctor appointments, groceries, and other errands? I hope things will get better for you.
@@claff4573how about you say both of them?! Men do need to keep up the fight, period. Could men be more supportive to one another? Absolutely.
This is why I hate how much hate men get.
It is undeserved.
We all as human beings suffer in this world. We should come together to help each other as a community.
As a biological male my first experience of receiving and accepting an embrace of support and compassion from another male took place when I was 21. Decades later I now have many mutually open, trusting, intimate and deep friendships with other men but it was a huge journey to get there. I would say that this trans man is looking for a particular spontaneous quality of friendship and communication that seems particular to women and is sadly mourning the loss of the unique culture shared by women.
Yup. Because he lived the female experience for most of his life, he is now confronted with a reality that most cis-men grow up with. I hope he realizes that there are many Cis men who feel the same and found a way,: have female friends in your circle. Through osmosis, he'll come in contact with guys like him. Not gonna lie: I was 31 when a guy gave me hug. I was in Italy trying to buy a trainticket at the machine but I didn't speak or was able to read any italian. Around this time, I was in a bad way, emotionally. As I was trying to work the damned thing, a guy approached and offered to help. Asked me in broken English where I needed to go and he punched in the right buttons and I could buy the ticket. I was probably wearing my 'pain' on my face because after I thanked him, he put a hand on my shoulder, looked me straight in the eye. And then he just pulled me in and gave me the biggest bear hug-a stranger could give you. If i wasn't so emotionally repressed I would have cried right there and then😂 anyway, I will never forget it. Only women have hugged me like that. It really felt like I had a big brother. I didn't have to say anything, he knew I needed a hug.
And then I realised he picked my pockets😂
Kidding 😅
@@roddo1955
,,have female friends in your circle."
That is a big part of the problem. That, as far is I can see it, many men searching for more emotional bonding, try to get more female friends instead of gettin more emotional with other men.
What leads to another problem. That many men, also just like I saw it so far, are not willing to bond deeply with other men except for knowing people for very long, since school or so and even then less less less often and deep as women seem to bond and reject other men/male friends trying to do that.
It looks like we dont like it, but I think, we would need it.
@@alexanderschuler7391 It's like Amala said, having a female brain and having male brain IS different. So (I imagine) to be a men having a female friend(s) in your circle IS different. Since that was the whole point she made
@@ljiljanahorvat5940
Dont know what you want to say.
I argue that it would be better for us men when we would be more welcoming, supporting and warm torwards each other instead of trying to get more female friends.
You want to tell me the male brain is not made for that?
Is see many men behaving very warm torwards female "friends" but not torwards male friends. So they can do it and they want it.
The internet is full of complaints of beein lonely, that nobody cares for their birthday, how they feel, messages them first and so on and storys about good carefull friends or even stangers who started caring which helped guys out of depression or even prevented them from suicide.
We need a culture shift. You can be a bro, care for your friends and be masculine without beein cold
Thats my opinion
Right, each sex has their privileges and disadvantages. Thats why they are supposed to be better together. What this person is crying out about not having, is definitely more of a privilege to women. I feel like its because women have the potential to give birth & a womans mental health can effect their unborn child. Ultimately, the majority of people with a bit of general compassion or empathy want to make sure that our future adults are mentally & physically healthy. The best period to start nurturing that health is while they are still developing. Making sure that developmental vessel is mentally & physically healthy, benefits the development of the child.
What privileges exactly? What privileges do men have that women don’t?
The privilege to be part of the draft? The privilege to be in an education system that favors women? The privilege to have their value determined by a paycheck? The privilege to lose your kids and half your income to a no-fault divorce? The privilege to have no rights in the termination of the life of your unborn child? The privilege to be openly discriminated against in media and dei-influenced onboarding processes?
It’s easy to look at the number of successful men and think they got there by privilege. But most of them got there by giving up just about everything else. And they are NOT representative of MEN as a group.
It’s a hallmark of the lazy to explain the difference in outcomes as favoritism or cheating. “Because if I had what they had, I’d be rich and powerful too.” No, if you worked and sacrificed as they did, you’d be rich and powerful too. But is it worth the trade? Give up everything for money? If it is, then do it.
I can't imagine being a woman who wants to be a man. I've always loved being a woman and feel blessed to be one.
Yes, just as you said ‘I can’t imagine’. You’ve never had to.
It’s a trauma response.
Just be glad you don't have gender dysphoria
Being a woman is a blessing. It comes with its downfalls, however we are blessed with amazing spiritual qualities and are meant to nurture, create community and support.
I can't imagine not completely enjoying being in the "wrong" body, what a fun adventure...why TF is it so terrible??
I’m a biological male and sometimes I want someone to hold me and listen to my worries and concerns. Sometimes I just…….ah forget it, just give me a beer and the TV remote and it’s all good.
That's why God invented women
@@ronwayne3865 right after man invented god
@@ronwayne3865 keep your BS to yourself.
Dude. I'm not kidding at all. As a man, just pay for someone, and i don't mean a therapist.
amen brother
I'm a man. I've had the same best friend since 1979 when we were 15/16 years old. We are as close as brothers. We can go for years without speaking or seeing each other, yet when we do, it's as though no time has passed and we can pick up exactly where we've always been. That's something no woman I've never spoken to can truly understand.
That's actually relatively common for women. We don't tend to let that long go without having contact with BEST friends, but some do. In fact my mom has had her same best friend since... 5? 6? Early elementary school. They're at the age where they have grandkids in school and still best friends. During some seasons of life, a year or two went by without talking and they're as close as ever. I myself have a few friends from college who I don't talk to for years and then we pick up like we just spoke yesterday.
Buddyyyyy what is up with people in this comment section generalizing people bro. I have same friendship with 3 of my friends and I’m a female?? But I guess I’m an alien😊😊
I’ve been friend with my buddy since he was in 5th grade and me in 6th. We were as close as one could be we confided in each other but never let no one else see any weekness and we always got shit done when needed we fought several times. Over dumb shit. We fucked up. We owned up. He will always be my brother even if we don’t see each other for a few years or so.
Yeah, sure, because only men can form profound, close friendships. No woman can ever understand how you can form a "friendship" that lasts more than a month. Dude, what women do you talk to? Men never miss an occasion to say how they're better than women while not knowing a shit about actual women.
@@michellebaker6302 I agree. Women do experience this. The only thing I think exists maybe a little more is that women might be more likely to question the bond between themselves as time goes by. They can still maintain the relationship and keep up with each other, but they usually have other social circles in the meantime during those long periods of not talking to a really close friend. Nothing externally damaged the relationship, but the time itself can make it seem distant and sometimes that will cause doubt or insecurity on one or both sides.
Men told her but she didnt listen......not shocked whatsoever
My gut reaction when i see someone male presenting like this crying was "yeah dude. Shits tough. Now figure it out" and my own reaction is a perfect example of how it is to be a man. But us biological men know that very few people truly care about our feelings. So by this age we have become emotionally and mentally tough enough to deal with it. This is part of the reason the male hobby is so important. Our hobbies are how we make friendships and fill our alone time. I have noticed, on average, the female hobby isnt nearly as important.
To be fair given the technology of our age it's so much easier to find and connect with people of similar interest than say even our parents especially grandparents where it has to be people near them.
@@RexZShadow yeah, but isn't it more important to do 'physical stuff' with your mates? like going to games or doing sports?
Men tend to bond through activity primarily, then through our words. Earned respect through action weigh more than words do for us. Then male bonds with words can be made - during and after the activity.
@@daanh8194 not everyone into sports or outdoor activities. That just the very stereotypical things yes.
@@RexZShadow yeah, i guess so 😊 i was going on how my sons went about their friendships
I'm a 36-year-old male with no deep friendships or close family members. The last close relationship I had was with my daughter and sadly her mother was very spiteful and took it upon herself to drag me through the courts removing that last real relationship I had and taking my remaining humanity. That situation happened 5 years ago now and every day I live is torture. The world now expects me to man up and continue on, and no one seems to understand why most days just getting out of bed is a struggle. Tell me again how easy it is being a man. The world doesn't give a damn about the majority of us and most of us just wanted to be decent people.
I might not have words that can cure what you're going through, but I will say this: Please hold on for your daughter. One day she will be old enough where her mom can't keep her away anymore. Write that little girl some funny notes, record videos for her that are things that remind you of her. Save all of this for that day she comes back into your life and prove she is your world. Keep your mind focused on hobbies and a purpose for your life. You really can do this. No one can give that girl your legacy like you can.
No one would divorce a good loving husband, so you need to look at your action or lack of. You can not just blame her, you need to take accountability for your action.
"The world doesn't give a damn about the majority of us" You want to be a victim so bad, smh. We still live in patriarchy so EVERYTHING is cater to men. Get a clue.
@@kcl6627 Life can get pretty down at times but this is the reason why I'm still weathering the storm. I appreciate the kind comment, keep putting that good energy into the world!
Sad.
@@nardip4999 He didn't say he was married. He's right... This world don't give a fuck about us. You cant tell us OUR EXPERIENCES aren't real, YOU the one who NEEDS to get a CLUE.
My personal experience with deep loneliness left me with the perspective that you have to be able to find joy in merely existing. Romanticize the world around you. No one can take that away from you.
This is an excellent point. I would also suggest that this makes you more attractive, as it shows others that you see good in and enjoy simple things in your life.
Really is simple innit:
Fall in love with your own life regardless of who's in it and make the best of it
Other people find this attractive
See if you find any of them attractive, take action or don't
It's so weird for me seeing this kind of comments. I've almost always avoided my friends when asked out because I get bored quick. I was only reaching them when I was feeling like going out. And I only want and need attention when I'm horny. I thought most men are like this. Maybe I'm a sociopath or something.
Maybe this trans human is lonely because Women don’t see him as a woman and men don’t see him as a man. It’s hard to relate.
@horusorion965 All very true. Having had similar issues I prefer my own company much of the time only being willing to hang around a very select few that I have gotten to know well and trust.
That's an absolutely mind-blowing suggestion! I'm going to try this from now on whenever I feel lonely - which, as a man, is quite often.
I love how this is what it took I love how it took a woman becoming a man and being treated like s*** like most men are for her to finally believe it
51 year old male. And I believe part of it is a new loneliness for men. In my teens, 20's and 30s, I was very social. I had deep friendships, and casual ones. Friends I'd call on a Friday night, and a few that I could call at 3am after a bad night. All my life, I always had at least 2-3 'best friends', males who i was emotionally close to, and at least one woman best friend. But about ten years ago, it started to change, and by 5-6 years ago I stopped feeling welcome. I moved several times, and made new friends pretty quickly, but this time it was different. I was keenly aware that I was not welcome to strike up a conversation with a woman, and the idea of second guessing every word and gesture for fear of being toxic, that women almost expect men to be potential rapists, sort of gas lit me into pulling back. And other men also seemed to act almost ashamed to exist, and wary to engage with each other. Even coworkers, the ones who seek me out to chat up and laugh with every day, have no interest in socializing outside of work. It really has become a strange cold world at least in my experience.
Forgive my morbidity, but I understand the rise in male suicides. It is such an odd feeling to contemplate ending it all. Not in a rage, or with tearful sobbing frustration, but calmly because you don't want to spend decades like this then die alone.
A lot of reasons but the biggest is the social media who naturaly target femininty.
This is so sad...I hope you find some kind of common interest community to join so you can be a part of a group. As a woman, that's what I would do. I'm still working so that's a positive, and I have some friends. But I'm alone a lot and used to it as well.
Damn, that hits
This is as much an age thing as it is a male thing. The older men get the harder it is to make friends (generally, there are always exceptions). Why do you think so many go to their local bars? To grasp that sense of community that they are lacking as, by that age, if you don't have a family who is constantly engaging in new relationships and bringing other new people into the fold, or a very personable career, a middle-aged man striking up random conversations with strangers in any other setting is considered strange.
I recommend finding groups for any hobbies you have and just throwing yourself into them. You can find any community online, and they tend to have something going on in your vicinity. The worst thing that can happen is that you don't get along and you don't go back to that specific group.
This is why I, almost 50, happily married (27 yrs), will strike up casual conversations with men my age and older
I’m a big girl now
If it gets gross by them, (not as likely since I’m not aging gracefully lol) 4:17 I know how to shut it down quickly. But i get a real sense that normal guys are always looked at sceptically and warily, and don’t have a woman just nicely wish them a nice day. I want to be kind and real and give that to them
Plus the boys in my life are always receptive to physical contact, my dad, husband , and son, always appreciate a good hug or hand holding, or just closeness
I’m gentle as a nurse, but am more gentle and attentive in a way to people who I sense are lonely and craving connection