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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ส.ค. 2024
- Kumail can divide his life into two eras: Before the Bidet and the Age of Enlightenment.
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Kumail Nanjiani's Bidet Deflowering Was Amazing & Wonderful | CONAN on TBS
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"After all these years life still has the capacity to surprise you." That's great
peanutgallery77 I think this was the best line 🤣🤣😉
Like the touch of an old lover...
I was using it to feel clean. Then I was using it to feel like myself. 😀😀
All that because of a bidet #indonesianhere
Welcome to 2020
This guy is one of the funniest people in America in right now i swear.. This dude opens his mouth and its hilarious.. Wonder why he isnt more popular
I know! I hope to see the day where he gets more recognition.
Karthik Nair
Because he isn't funny.
+jockslap Yup he's also on the hit series Silicon Valley and it is hilarious....
+Global Citizen dude go buy a sens of humor
Im on a Kumail Nanjiani youtube spree and Im laughing my ass off. Last time I think I laughed so much for a comedian might be for Russel Peters.
"..knowing touch of an old lover" LMFAO
+László Ürge might have been the knock out punch i was dying
With the finger tho 😂😂😂
I understand why he said Old lover...The way he did in his childhood..
He isint lying tho🤤🤤🤤
This was the ultimate metaphor
That audience should have laughed more, I'm in tears laughing.
comedy is subjective.
KelloPudgerro SO IS YOUR FACE!
KelloPudgerro lol, but no, I am joking.
Mike Jarvis not sure if comedy or just internet.
Why not both?! :D
LOL "are you thinking what i'm thinking"
Noop .. i am thinking what you are thinking
I love the way Anthony Mackie doesn't have "look at me syndrome" and doesn't F with Kumail's timing.
+Hineskitt Velvett yes!
Hineskitt Velvett true that
what's timing?
This guy is so funny. This is like the most I've ever seen Conan laugh with a guest too
Look up Bill Burr's Conan interviews; Conan can barely even speak at how much he's laughing, and for good reason, Bill Burr always delivers.
Also Louis CK, ofc
You have to watch his interviews with Nathan Felder
he laughs way more with timothy olyphant
RIP Norm Macdonald... he was probably the best guest on Conan and David Letterman.
kidding aside, im american and it irks me to no end that the bidet isn't really a thing here. i mean it just seems like a no brainer. less wasteful, more clean, etc. what is it with the whole medieval using-pulped-up-sheets-of-wood to wipe after doing the business? it's like some remnant of the ancient puritan simple-is-better mentality. sometimes simple is NOT better..
it really doesn't make sense, they're not very expensive. i bought a cheap one for my own place from Amazon a few weeks ago and using the bathroom anywhere else seems terribly unclean now.
Yeah people get wierded out, even repulsed by bidets in America. I find it repulsive not to use water. People will never understand. especially those who keep a closed mind.
actually using water is simpler than paper. you just feel so much cleaner.
Adub Htown i know.. it's actually even cleaner to use the super old-school method (in india and i'm sure other countries) of just using a jar of water and your hand, then washing thoroughly with soap afterwards. (you have to use the squat method for this though, but that even is supposed to be a much more healthy and natural.. and easier way to do the business haha. again something most americans would think is uncivilized).
dude of all the things to take a stand on as an american you choose the bidet? lolz
I had a bidet in my house back when I lived in the Middle East for a few years. I had no clue how the damn thing worked and was too scared to try. We live, we regret.
How did you live not ever using the bathroom?
Fellow Are you trolling or do you not know what a bidet is?
Same sitch... i am today years old when I googled to see if a bidet is that weird feet washer in our family friend's place... turns out you wash your damn butts in there smhhh
wtfarockfish 😂😂😂
@@Edarric ah, the old TH-cam switcharoo
that fucking falcon noise
As a european who has used a bidet all his life, I have always been stupefied by how certain cultures take a dump and don't immediately wash their butts afterwards. I'm not judging or anything: everyone can exert their constitutional right to bear skid marks.
I live in Europe as well and I've never used or even seen a bidet before. You're just speaking for your country.
Tom Waits
Oh my god... it's a skidmarks epidemic!
I've actually been planning on installing one, but they're so darned expensive!
Snuffsis
Really? How expensive are we talking?
GhostSniper3081
Now, i wasn't talking about the regular bidets that you see here in europe, but more of the Washlets that you see in Japan. They're about 900 euro here in Sweden, and that's not with the installation cost.
They're the ones seen in this image: sakura-hotel-ikebukuro.com/blog/washlet%5B1%5D.jpg
Makes you feel like a badass pilot while on the toilet because of all the buttons. :D
this guy is fucking amazing
he's freaking delightful
WOW anthony mackie's falcon impression is crazy good!
It didn't even look like the sound was coming from him.
"...and then I was using it just to feel like myself."
Thanks, I laugh-dribbled most of my last gulp of whiskey down my chin on that one.
You mean mountain dew, don't you? Yeah you do.
Omg, he's hilarious
Bidet = Age of enlightenment, Knowing touch of an old lover, Becoming falcon, feel like myself...
So many great stuff in one video. 😂😂
Japanese toilets... Are the best. Bidet action and then wind blows up to dry it all out.
***** not sure why all toilets in the world aren't like that. hahaha
Indeed, and Will Smith did that exact same joke(as Kumail's) except with Japanese toilets on Michael Parkinson's show
The only thing missing from this equation is soap. Throw that in and this would be the most perfect device ever created by man.
peanutjelly omg... never thought of that! soap water first, then a spray of water then then a blowdry! haha
Like a car wash for your butt
While travelling SE Asia I was introduced to the 'bum gun'... life changer!
It's so hard to use Canadian/American toilets, I never feel clean afterwards...lol he's right about life being divided into the period before you used a bidet and the period afterwards.
two words, one finger: wet naps.
studnoth1n I prefer to nap in my bed, where it isn't very wet.
its not exactly a comedy routine you would expect to be all that funny but this guy somehow manages to make me laugh my ass off, I'm gonna go watch some more of his vids now :L
That got real profound real fast.
"BIdet Deflowering"... Praise the Sun.
Lucky Luckingham dark souls? sunboro?
Once you use a bidet, you will never want to go back. They are awesome.
"the knowing touch of an old lover" is such a brilliant phrase hahahaha
Conans face at Kumails metaphor...
I love how poetic kumail worded his experience
The first time I used a bidet was a revelation. Then I went back to America and have cried every day since...
hellotushy.com
You know you can buy bidet seats and put them on any toilet here in the US, don’t you?
Seriously, I lived in Italy for a year. Almost everyone has a bidet. It's awesome. Cleaning your butt with warm water instead of wads of paper. It's the best.
Well, I live in Argentina, and over here we have bidets in every bathroom (except public bathrooms, that would be weird). In fact, we argentinians, don't understand why everyone doesn't use bidets, they're awesome. Much cleaner than plain toilet paper, for sure.
I live in Turkey and we have bidets in every bathroom including public ones, why would that be weird?
@@humeyramine well, I mean everyones sharing the same one, so it does sound pretty wierd. But at the same time a lot more hygenic than without
I recently installed a bidet attachment and i know exactly what he’s talking about ! I LOVE IT . So clean !
He's too adorable.
I'm an Indian and I've always used a bidet although no one calls it a bidet here. No one calls it anything really and it's the only way to clean after taking a dump that we know. When I found out that in America people just use paper and no water it just grossed me out.
Our bidet is like a tap thing right
Like a small hand shower attached to the toilet
I am an American and I've been using a bidet for months. I'll never go back.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" LOL
dude he is so right, i remember my first bidet, it IS life changing. even now i can imagine the feeling....i sound like a weirdo but seriously its good stuff
His genuineness and funny storytelling is one of the best!
Anthony Mackie's Falcon impression was pretty surprising...lol
Self deprecating humour is one of most difficult things to carry off and he does it with class, one of the best in the business
Who would imagine both of those guys are now Marvel superheroes, and both are huge.
We'll send Russell Peters, you guys send this guy and let's sort this India/Pakistan mess out. Problem solved.
What did he use in Pakistan? Cmon bro, the washing-bum technique has been there for ages!
you are right but i hear the experience of japanese toilet is magical .....even my cousin was telling my dad who went there for a trip..... the thing is Japanese toilet or electric bidets or whatever are commodes with electric features and it has a spray nozzle which sprays water at your ass at the push of a button.
I know this is 5 years old, but a lot of people in South Asia still just fill a thing with water and wash their ass manually.
my jaw hurts from laughing :D
That moment when you crack conan you know youre real deal
I want those super fancy Japanese toilet seats that converts your toilet into a toilet/bidet combo.
$30 on amazon.
@@sacroyalty really .... that cheap .
Kumail is hilarious! I want him to be on everything.
I think this is the funniest Conan interview I've ever watched.
"It's like the knowing touch of an old lover!"
💀🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
There needs to be a bidet tracking device
God I love this guy. You don’t expect it, but then there it is. Always. Every time
LOVE, LOVE, LOOOOVE KUMAIL!!
I have had the exact same conversations about bidets with my friends
I heard that there was a stereotype in regards to bidets with prostitutes using them, and that somehow made a lot of people conform to not using them, because it would somehow associate them with prostitutes.
I bet you it was William Randolph Hearst, he owned paper mills, and was responsible for making hemp illegal.
Also, there has been in North American history a lot of anti-French bigotry, so that turned a lot of people off the idea. However with this toilet paper shortage the French will save our butts in the end.
We have bidet attachments on our toilets. I swear, you feel so much cleaner. Home depot had them.
He came to Conan prepared.
He’s so right, I have one in my bathroom and it’s like heaven.
He is actually Dinesh. He is his character in Silicon Valley. He isn't even acting.
This reminds me of the SNL skit about Bidet which was hilarious. Alright time to find that and watch it again
Just watched THE BIG SICK and now I can't get enough!
When I went to Pakistan for the first time my life was changed with the bidet/water hose, like here its like i need to fill a milk jug. Seriously bidet are the greatest.
yay the hose thing is great but.... he isnt talking about that , he talking about "japanese toilets" or "electric bidet"... while a normal "bidet" is a different thing from commode .... hope it helped ....do search these thing on google images for better understanding.
It is not possible to properly clean oneself without water after passing stool
Why have I never heard of this guy before? Had me in stitches the whole video.
$50 gets you the toilet attachment that takes all of 10 minutes to set up, and it is...a revelation.
"I think I thought it was a bidet but it was a broken toilet" :D
What a convenient video to get a bidet ad for!
one of my fave videos ever
Okay every household in the middle east has a bidet how can you not use one
Lol but isn't Kumail Pakistani? And Muslim? Muslims always use a bidet. And it's common in Pakistan.
Yeah he spent 18 years in Pakistan but wonder why he never used it.
Aren't manual bidets more popular in Pakistan? So maybe this was the first time he used an electric one?
We dont have bidet, we have manual mini showers attached to the toilet or lotas
He probably used the handheld Lotta or Bodna
@@BullC6 you'd know, Mr Butt
Just today found out about this Kumail guy. He is absolutely hilarious and an excellent storyteller
I stayed in an older hotel in Madrid for 4 days and it had a bidet. I was nervous about ever using it so I never did. I regret not taking that experience!
Wait a minute. The bidet is very common in south asia. He grew up in Pakistan so how did he never experience one?
We wash with water in a mug. A bidet does it for you. Hence, lover's touch.
He was using the lota all the time, but it would not be funny to talk about it than a high class "bidet"
@@KishorJoshiMCh ya like everywhere even in India mugga and lota inn everywhere in the farm land in the railway🛤️ track
Knowing touch of an old lover😂
"this had the knowing touch of an old lover" I AM C R Y I N G
That last line... how does this man keep spitting gold?
Looks like falcon already met an eternal
not all toilets in singapore have the bidet though...must've been an airport or hotel! most people don't install the bidet in our humble hdbs flats.
Dwight Schrute airport don't have also! unless VIP toilet or smth. but never have i seen or have gotten the experience of using a bidet in Singapore (or anywhere else for that matter)
@@alexcalaunan is kumail talking about Japanese toilets because he is talking about a nozzle that sprays your ass ..... and it knows exactly where to spray at.... i think he's talking about automatic japanese toilets they are very expense ....like over a grand i think.
Love this guy's passive aggressive charters on Portlandia... His timing is perfect.
I came from Pakistan about 1 month ago and I really miss the handheld bidet. I found ones that attach to existing toilets due to another comment.
I love the pauses where he's about to tell about a story. 😂
Before a bidet, and the age of enlightenment XD
Awesome. "How does it know where to go"😂
The falcon doing a falcon impression!!
It's 2020, and he's ripped.
Captain Falcon and kumail 👀👀
I love him, he is great. thats the kind of guy you want to have as a friend. never getting fed up with, classy guy and insanely funny :) just like me only in brown ;P
Once you go brown. Other colours let you down.
kumails comedy annndddd anthony mackie showing up midway through???? what a great vid lmao
Life is about the journey, not the destination. And traveling with a stinky butt is miserable.
Yes.
I cant stop laughing HAHAHA. This guy is hilarous!! Cant stop watching him now HAHAHAHA. His wife is so damn lucky!
that is quite a group of guys. What a funny kamel..
Everytime, everytime Kumail breaks Conan.
Kumail is such an excellent story teller, absolutely hilarious.
I'm stoked and find it funny that most Americans still use tissues , while we Indians, whom most of them in comment section ridicule for not having toilets, use jet sprays.
Indonesian here and how he portrayed himself enlightened to a bidet is just precious
I know many Chinese households have them too
The touch of an old lover😂😂😂
This guy is impossible to hate
I first read it as "bidet overflowing" 😅.
Kumail is one of the funniest people I know, it's always a good time when he's on Conan.
Adorable and hilarious. Kumail, Turkeys got bidets all over too! It's THE BEST.
You feel way cleaner with a bidet, its so hard for me now to go to someones house without one.