Clinging To People You've *OUTGROWN* (Ask A Shrink)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 พ.ย. 2021
- A clear sign of PERSONAL GROWTH and POSITIVE CHANGE may mean we OUTGROW friendships and/or relationships, and leave them behind. This process can be BITTERSWEET, but is a healthy part of personal development. Find out more about this dynamic in today’s video…..I’m a Licensed Therapist and answer your questions on ‘Ask A Shrink’.
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2 areas i was lacking in: looking at this as a bad thing full of guilt rather than a natural thing, and allowing myself to feel the loss/change in relationship
Very validating - thank you!
Unfortunately for them, a lot of people haven't discovered your channel 'yet'. Keep up the good work!
😃
Say something useful
Nothing wrong with staying in touch with friends from school if they are supportive of your growth and have grown as well.
It's even more glaring when you work in the community, and start to partner/collaborate with other organizations. It's like you're on different radio frequencies, especially when you notice people in cliques and herd mentalities/mindsets. You can't relate to them after a while, because you see they've settled for the average, while your mindset is seeing things that the average can't/won't see.
I would like to tell you a story. The story of a ship. On this ship was a wheel and an anchor. They became close friend. One day the anchor said to the wheel; "please be my guide", "please take my hand". The anchor said "please guide me to new horizons and lead the way". The wheel replied; "Stop preventing the ship from moving forward." "Stop holding me back", "stop dragging me down", "don't prevent me from moving forward".
It is really up to you to find out: Are you a wheel that discovers new horizons? or are you an anchor that digs in the muck???. Are you the wing that flies and take you higher? Or the weight that sinks you down deeper and deeper? In loving memory of my beautiful Shelby (my guide)
This channel is criminally undersubscribed.
Yes.That speaks volumes about the collective awareness in our society. I hope more people will want to awake and grow emotionally and Brad's channel will expand accordingly.
Great advice, Brad! Perfect timing for me too, as I need to do a bit of housekeeping on this matter. Thank you!
Fantastic John---glad it helped it....
Your videos (especially on EI) came to me at the most perfect time. This video included. I am right there right now, reevaluating the relationships in my life and where each one stands. My “best friend” of almost 22 years, while I am going through the evolution process, stubbornly sticks behind. I wrote them a letter, am debating on sending it and putting the ball in their court - my phone is always on, rings both ways sort of vibe. If not it would act as both the closure I need and the context I’m willing to share with them, as to the reasons why I am and how I am evolving. Anyway thank you for your entire channel, there’s so many good things I need to hear on it!
Keep up your good work!!
I had to do this decades ago and it is painful. I still miss the friendship that was, but not where it ended up. I grew, my responsibilities grew greatly, so my boundaries had to change. My friend could not respect or accept that. Sometimes you have no choice; you have to end the toxic effect on your wellbeing.
I LOVE this. I grew so much the last couple years and I hope to make some new healthy friends soon.
We don't talk about this sort of stuff enough! Thank you for posting!
This channel is so underrated! ❤
This is so spot on and very true for my parents. Great points.
This guy and dr Ramada are the best self videos on the net
Brad, thank you so much for all your awesome content! I discovered your channel appx 2 years ago and it has been a great help on my journey to recovery from my narcissistic father and EI mother. At 27, after 5 years of self awareness and therapy, I can say I am free from our generational trauma, on my way to establishing my own identity. You helped me through this process and I can't be more grateful for that! Brad, thank you!
I feel this way about one of my best friend. He helped me a lot too but honestly I don’t feel any connection to him anymore. Nothing in common and many things about him bug me. One putting out a fake persona in front of others. Making others think he’s a big shot but he’s dead broke, lazy ass who doesn’t work and just comfortable living with his parents. Also very negative person
I do feel selfish at time that I don’t talk to him as much especially because he helped me out in the past.
Man your spot on. Glad I found your channel. Certain people walk in the room I feel all the air is being sucked out. Keep up the good work. I'll be subscribing.
Thank you. Very helpful. Please do more on this topic .
Brad you are spot on! I felt like you were speaking directly to me. This perfectly describes what’s happened in my life. I’ve drifted away from family members and old friends who I’ve known for a long time. It’s been very difficult letting go because I’ve changed and continue to grow. However, they don’t. I’d love to hear more about this topic!
Hello Doctor. Please keep me in your prayer. Family is a burden. My mother never let me workout or anything. Now I am 24 still my body is like of 14 year old. Now I am super weak and having trouble with bringing strength. But having trouble with any work for lack of strength. Also I have suffered a lot from gas lighting
Yes am sending you good wishes...
You need to take action. Get away from your controlling mother! Go to a gym and do what's right for you, do what makes you feel happy and strong. Take my advice, I'm 40 and I've always put others needs first, always ignored mine. The worst mistake of my life. If I could re-live life, I would get rid of toxic family and friends and just do what I like.
@@irme8930 you are still really young I didn't start realizing this either until my late 40s and several years later still working on it. Usually better but have to be careful to getting back to that but being too much of a people pleaser can be a drowning experience. I finally have moved on and if I do ocasionally chose to be around certain people I am cautious and am working on meeting new people too but alot of what I need to do I have to do by myself to grow personally and professionally
I feel so seen and thankful for this video Brad! I'm sad to outgrow my friend and my therapist, I have them for many years. Like I'm loosing very important people, and it sits on my mom abandoning me when I was 5 in a very abusive fathers family. I know me loosing interest in them comes from my growth and it scares me I can't do nothing to change it, I can't grow closer to them. I move in the opposite direction and it's so new to me. I don't want to abandon them but I don't want them anymore in my life. Your kind spirited video makes me feel a bit better, thanks again 💕
Thank you for explaining this, now I understand why I feel like I don't connect with certain people anymore, I've out grown them, and feel I need to embrace new ventures in my life, and I'm okay with going it alone 😃
Thank you very much, Brad! You helped me get rid of a fake friend who has been using me for the past 10 years and I just can't stand her any more. She is 40 and she still has the same mentality we had in highschool. She only likes people based on their popularity, beauty, how they dress, while she cannot appreciate real friends. I helped her and gave her my support during the years, but she is more interested in her posh fake friends and she only calls me when she needs something. Thanks to you and after meditating a bit, I decided I have nothing in common with such an immature and superficial person. Her own type can have her.
Your videos are amazing!
So informative, direct and short and sweet. So spot on. Thanks Mr. Brad!
Very welcome!
Thank you so much, you're putting words on exactly what I'm currently experiencing.
Glad it was helpful!
Such a great video. Exactly what I needed to hear. You have so many helpful videos. Thank you for making these! ❤️
Glad it was helpful!
Thanks again Brad. Your videos are so helpfull and right on...you really know your stuff.
I am letting go of some friends because of that and also feel less interested in sharing things with my narcissistic mother to whom i had a emotional incest relationship.
I learne about this emotionnal incest by YOU !!! Thank you.
Thank you ❤
Thank you for sharing 💫 helps alot 💖
This is great content!
Very well done.
I would love to see longer and more detailed videos, including solution-oriented options/tools.
THIS IDEA COULD BE POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE.......if you give up your friends for a "new religion" it could be cult like. you are vulnerable when you are detached from support and reality checks
fantastic
As a result cutting off some friends I’ve known for a decade
My problem is that i had a bad back, couldn’t do my job as a mechanic . I’m still home with my parents and tried some jobs here and there but it was to hard for my back… mostly im home and can do whatever i want. I read a lot, study a lot of music etc. I don’t have friends and im definitely out growing this place ! But when i left this place, I don’t have anyone and thats a bit frightening due to my physical issues… btw. The bosses i had where way toxic then the family members in my home… what would you do? 🤷
👍👍👍👍
Food for the algo.
New sub here!☺️
🙏🔆
If friends are toxic then you should let them go, but I think all too often people purge on a regular basis just because they don't want to face their own fears and use personal growth as their excuse. They want to try something new, they are afraid of what their current friends or family will think of them so they just claim they" out grew them" so then never have to confront uncomfortable questions. They loose out on long term relationships because it's about the new group of people, the new hobby, the new job. Meanwhile, the very group they "out grew" may have in fact been very supportive and long term relationships that would have benefited them the most. There is a lot to be said about a person who has maintained fluid friendships for over 20 years and those that can not. If all your friends are based around your current hobby, that's a red flag for me. What happened to the people before that?
I agree.