"WARNING: ONLY use this kiss when you have the time and space to be properly RAVISHED by your man..." Dear God. That may possibly be the single funniest sentence I have ever read.
Yeah and all of his tips SUCK. There is only ONE way to win a man over by kissing him. The big secret is, don't kiss him on the mouth kiss him on his *censored*
Years later I decided to try this. I went around kissing dudes with these exact tips, and now they won’t leave me alone. You’d think as a woman this would be a good thing, but as I am a straight man you’d be wrong. This was just a goofy test I was doing but now it’s gone too far. There’s 17 grown men on my house steps beating more door in. They’ve been going for days. Idk what I’ve done, but they’re gonna get in soon. This may be my last message. Wish me luck, boys
This is just the adult equivalent of when I was a kid and typed "mermaid spells" into youtube thinking that this one action would solve my entire life's problem
I’ve been with my husband for 13 years & we care for each other deeply. If he came home from work and I tried to tongue kiss him he’d think there was a killer in the house and I was trying to silently warn him.
Eddy, I tried the 'Primal Passion Kiss' on my man and he became unintelligible and started carrying around a club and wearing this weird tattered toga with a tiger pattern...I don't even know where he got them, I suspect he used Amazon to order a Fred Flintstone costume...What do I do? I thought it would improve our relationship, but now all he wants to do is ride around in his golf cart and go out dinosaur hunting with the boys...I don't think he actually knows much about the stone age.
He is Seth's older, less attractive and popular brother who has no talent in music and is convinced that he has a talent in marketing, which is also not true. Seth's parents have his pictures upstairs in a drawer while Seth is staring at guests from a hundred portraits on the wall. All four walls, in fact. Their parents pretend to have only one son. No wonder this guy sells both kissing advice and self-praise in same quantities
My boyfriend isn’t that good of a kisser. I’ve never been like ‘damn I need to break up with this awesome guy who shares my sense of humor and worldview, is smart and educated, and is extremely secure, because his lip game is not on point.’ Once you’ve been dating for a minute, you kiss like once a month. If this is the key factor in your relationships I guarantee that’s not gonna work out.
Also, you can really easily give a partner pointers on how to kiss you how you like. Most partners will do it because they know you’ll like it, it’s not rocket science Michael!
That's marketing. Seriously half of marketing is designed to prey on your insecurities, the other half is to make you want shit you didnt know you wanted. Arguably the easier one is preying on insecurities. Why do you think the diamond industry pushes jewelry as the ultimate sign of love for example?
?? I've stopped guys from kissing me weirdly and been like hey that's too much tongue. Or I'll ask them hey it feels like you're pulling away lately, can we talk about it? Like guys just be forthright without attacking the person and you're good. Don't buy RachelRayMichaels ridiculous program.
@@Zimzamzoom95 idk why but maybe it's all these posts on social media from pseudo-influencers saying things like "He/She should know what you want before you even say it" or "We dont even need to say it, we say I love you with our eyes." And stupid shit like that. Maybe not, but it's still silly.
And here I thought it was because I constantly brought him down, he thinks I'm about to fight him when he comes home, everytime I see him I tell him how much I wish I'd said yes to another man.... But I'll just add a lil more tongue 😂😂😂😂also this is THICK sarcasm I don't abuse my man lmao
I love that the little video about the woman “losing” her lover is missing the point. If your significant other is late for a fight he’s not going to be like, “yes the time for a romantic kiss” he’s going to be stressed because he’s late for a flight. You’ll kiss later but right now possibly a thousand dollars and possibly his job is on the line so...cut the man some slack.
These types of ads are so incredibly condescending to women. I saw one that started by saying how miserable women are without a man and how they spend Friday evenings crying with a tub of ice cream. And this was aimed at women! I think it was supposed to be relatable xD Anyway that's when I closed the tab because I couldn't take it anymore. Eddy did a real sacrifice here.
@Tara Lang Congrats on being strong women who can handle themselfs. But in all honesty, wouldnt you want to be held while falling asleep everynight? Not Need, but want. I know thats what i miss most from relationships. as aman
@Tara Lang That is to me as true as it is untrue. If you decide too love Anyone it will most likely not be "The Relationship", But it might very well still be the one relationship. If not you have hopefully gained some experience about yourself and others. So i can get behind that strategy, but there if deffenitely a point to be made about "not looking and finding". I think it is becouse you will naturally end up around people that likes the same things as you and will therefor find a partner that fits better. They both work and both have Great possetives and Great negatives. Also a note on cuddeling. It's the fact that the person trusts you completely to chose to be beside and in contact with you in a time when we just need to be safe to fall asleep. I guess it's just an ego thing.
There are similar ads of similar... "programs" directed at men, with very similar techniques in how they advertise it (bring up the promise of a secret, create this narrative, have the ad be super long so they feel like they're already engaged, high ball a "real" cost for the thing while actual cost is something like 30 bucks which in comparison seems low). The interesting bit is where they differ. The ones directed at men are focused on sex, almost entirely. They also have a much stronger focus on "mind control". A lot of them are about how you can completely control women with this one secret technique.
I could actually use these tips on my boyfriend... so that every time we touch, I get this feeling. and every time we kiss, I swear I could fly. can’t you feel my heart beat fast. I want this to last. need you by my side
Jesus Christ! You cracked it! I was wondering what my marriage was missing and I realize now, it was a Katana. You've saved my marriage and you've also helped me start a new career as a body guard. I've never felt more badass. Thank you. But like... is there a specific way I should kiss my Katana so it doesn't leave me?
I got this ad a while back when I was in a very dark and vulnerable place and I almost fell for it (don’t judge too harshly, please), THIS is exactly the video I’ve been looking for back then. I hope lots of people who get targeted by this creepy and condescending ad find your video!
You guys shouldnt feel self conscious about falling for the ad. That's what he does. He crawls down into people's depression pits with girls who just want to be loved and find someone and then acts like he has a ladder out of the pit. It's very tempting to try to pay for the ladder. But the true power comes from crawling out of the pit yourself. Proud of you guys.
That's what makes it so disgusting. It's clearly predatory and targets people who are either very desperate or just in a vulnerable, low place in their life currently. And then he exploits them for all their money. Fitness gurus pull the same garbage. They all act like there's secrets or shortcuts to this stuff too, when there just isn't. The answer to your problems is almost always right in front of your face, and it's usually the thing you've been avoiding because of some larger truth or commitment it entails. This goes for anything really. But if you're low enough or desperate enough you believe there must be something you're missing, and that's how they get you. But once you're on the other side of that, and you can think more clearly, it's just insane to see how many people pretend they know way more than they do, and they really only hold a basic understanding of how something works, and in this guys case I would say he's even below the line on that. And he's claiming to be an expert, and is shameless about the lack of proof or credentials. Like he doesn't even have any pictures of him with women and no ones ever come forward claiming they've been in a relationship with him or tried to defend him at all. And tbh I doubt he's ever even experienced real love for himself.
9:32 does dude really say "it sends an *unconscious* message"? Cause that sounds like tips for Bill Cosby. Unless he meant subconscious, which is something completely different....
@@christopherminutolo9384 A katana is probably too large for that--surgery, I mean: if you just want the heart and don't care about the other bits, though, it should do nicely enough.
His ad is so predatory…so many women believe that they are the problem or would do anything to make their waste-of-time-boyfriend “love them again”. Free tip: if he’s trash, move along sister. There’s someone better.
fan theory: "Eddy bought this video instantly. He knew immediately that one of two things would happen. He would either learn the secret to FORCING Gus to love him back, or he would have one dope ass video." Sorry you didn't get the guy, Eddy.. but the video is great!
Are you telling me that sticking my tongue out like a lizard and flapping my arms like a chicken isn’t what men want in a passionate kiss? Also, I’m pretty sure the “mouth-to-mouth” method is just CPR, Michael.
he wrote the kisses into the ad like they were moves in Pokémon. “Tanya used Primal Passion Kiss on Brian! It’s super effective! Tanya’s failing relationship has worn off...”
Got an ad like this a few months ago (the same thing just for men). Same website, same layout, just a different voice. The presentation was around 30 minutes long, apparently the whole thing is: "Buy this book! You will NOT regret this!" or something like that...
One real kissing tip from my mother and her 50-year marriage to my father: occasionally, when they're talking, she'll take his hand and kiss the back of it while looking up at him lovingly. They'll then hold hands for the rest of the conversation, with him looking shy but pleased. I think it just goes to show that men like to feel cherished, too, and finding tender gestures that your male partner appreciates is important.
The most disgusting thing about this "class" is the combination of how it targets at young, insecure girls by specifically making them think "You're the one who's doing something wrong", and how everything is worded so specifically to manipulate these young, vulnerable, insecure, younger girls that they're clearly targeting. It's so gross to me how we constantly see predatory "I'll teach you the secret" setups like this where the commercial is basically someone saying "YOU'RE wrong, it's YOUR fault, YOU need to be better and different because YOU are the failure (pay me to teach you,)" instead of the more obvious conclusion that nobody would pay to hear: _you really need to expose yourself to more different types of people and stop going after the same dysfunctional/incompatible person every time_ ."
Yes, because women are HEARTBROKEN when a first date doesn’t work out. And a first kiss is the main deciding factor in whether or not a guy wants to continue dating you. All that personality stuff? DOESN’T MATTER. Thank you for finding this Eddy lmao
Our relationship had reached new highs. We were closer than we'd ever been but then tragedy struck. One day Brian came home distraught, tears streaming down his face, "I...my brother just called me...my mom had a heart attack." I was left stunned, unsure of what to do next but then I remembered what Michael had taught me. I stepped forward, taking Brian into my arms and kissed him, using it to convey my sadness for him and my regret for his pain. I stepped away, searching Brian's face, hoping that he'd understood. "What was that? I just told you my mom died!" How could he not have understood, how come he hadn't felt it, "Didn't you feel what I was saying through the kiss?" "No, what the fuck! What's wrong with you?" Needless to say, we broke up soon afterwards but that was okay. With Michael's lessons I knew it wouldn't be long before I found the one. (Seriously though, I wonder if people I have actually paid for this class 😂)
In slavic cultures, people do kiss family on the lips, no matter the age 🙃 (but uhm... not with tongue or anything, before someone thinks something weird)
Even thouugh the writing may not have been... to our liking, i think the woman hired to narrate did a good job. I'd guess she does audio books and just picked up an odd job.
As funny as this video is, I feel like it also serves as a really good educational tool for all the blatant techniques advertisers use to brainwash people.
Yeees for real. As soon as TH-cam analytics caught on that I was a woman in a relationship I started getting ads like these trying to prey on any insecurities I might have, and as soon as the analytics discovered I wanted to eat healthier and struggled with that, I started getting weight loss and dangerous diet pill ads. Marketing can be concerningly manipulative. I'm very lucky to be a woman who didn't fall for it.
Holy shit, this is making kissing sound like a superpower. Kiss someone, and communicate years worth of information, understand their wants and needs implicitly, and have control of them to bend them to your whims...
I'm gonna wreck one of this man's points: dogs dont lick out of affection or love. Dogs lick for several reasons: 1: they like the salt in your sweat. Even if you dont feel sweaty dogs can taste the salt in your skin. 2: licking releases endorphins in their brain. So if your dog is stressed or scared they will lick to try and calm themselves. That may be you, themselves, or even just the ground. C: dogs lick the faces and mouths of the person/dog/animal they feel is in charge. It's a form of submission. Of my 4 dogs, our oldest is the "alpha dog" of the four. All 3 of the other dogs lick his mouth and face to show that they respect his position and know they are below him. 4: attention. When your dog "kisses" you, you often get excited or at least pet them. Therefore you have trained your dog that licking=attention.
Honestly Eddy gives the advice every person needs to hear, and it's free 8:26 "Brian could you pay any attention to me at all, because it seems like you're not even trying And then if he says no? Leave him! Don't take a $500 an hour class with this dude to learn how you can win Brian back. *The fuck has Brian ever done for you?"*
This might just be me, but I really love that casual intimacy. Not every kiss needs to be a passionate one. I live for the little goodbye kisses my boyfriend gives me when he or I leave the house, or little good-morning kisses before we're fully up and moving. To me, that's what feels safe and secure.
Kissing is literally the only thing that goes into a relationship. Call me old fashioned, but I have to be married to a girl for at least 3 years before I can kiss them
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hey guys i didn't die! for more of me not dying, follow me on twitter and instagram @eddyburback
@@KO-nb5zv ill support him regardless
Thank you king
welcome back!
please never leave me again
How can our cult leader leave us for so long!? I know you had the podcast yesterday with Gus but i was frightened for your safety mr. Daddy Burback
This guy is just a wattpad fanfiction writer that charges people to read
The whole "forcing someone to love you" thing sure falls in line with Wattpad's weird kidnapping erotica
Nah, he makes Wattpad look like Tolstoy.
I hate when that happens I mean if it’s good I’ll support but not everyone has dat cash.
@@opticalyoutube5597 i miss the old days when wattpad didnt have those. them was the good days
Like the authors of After and 50 shades ?
I Paid For Eddy’s Kissing Class (Review)
NakeyJakey it’s a shame Eddy won’t apply the class to good use.
Get on that yoga ball kiddo and make that vid
Where you at my guy?
Spoiler alert, he just talks about his knees for an hour
yo can i get that link
"A kiss is a conversation."
Okay, but what if we... and hear me out on this... actually talked.
for real!!!! preach
That some crazy ideas you have here
why would you even consider that. Don't tell your husband not to cheat, kiss him and melt, obviously
WTF?!?! I am going to assume you're single. No one with a partner would say this dumb shit
Ayoo!! Thats a little controversial, better slow down there bud
I came for the eyeball kiss and I was sorely disappointed
You seen rick and morty? It's basically just like that bit with the eyeholes, except no eyehole burglar
Will C GIVE ME BACK MY EYEHOLES!
Aye, love your channel bro! Thank you for making good content because oh Lord does TH-cam need it right now. Keep trying
Don’t be man, that’s how I got pink eye a couple years ago. Not worth it.
JARVIS!!!!!!
"You didn't tilt your head 10 degrees and that's why Brian hasn't wanted to see you naked in 3 years" had me dying!
why did i read this comment exactly when he said it
understandable reason
@@ashblu3 He said that? Maybe he hasn't yet for where I am. RN he's saying you're supposed to be a kissing expert and "hungry tigress"
@@ashblu3 me too
I feel like “primal passion kiss” sounds like a mortal kombat special....
Pretty sure there's something like that yeah lmfao
*laughs in hunter x hunter where there is a girl with manipulation nen who makes boys her slaves with a kiss*
THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING it sounds like some sort of special anime move LMAO
Hahahahahahah great comment
"Kitana Wins! FATALITY!"
"Think of it as a kiss women used to give sailors before they left..."
You know, those famously monogamous sailors.
Hahahahahaha, exactly
does it count as monogamy if you sleep with your boys cuz you miss your wife?
@@lerrygindgren2076 as long as you don't kiss on the lips I think you're fine
Lerry Gindgren boys support boys
@@lerrygindgren2076 gotta be there for your homies 😔✊❤️
"WARNING: ONLY use this kiss when you have the time and space to be properly RAVISHED by your man..."
Dear God. That may possibly be the single funniest sentence I have ever read.
warmCabin LOL SAME
Yeah and all of his tips SUCK. There is only ONE way to win a man over by kissing him. The big secret is, don't kiss him on the mouth kiss him on his *censored*
That reads like it should be translated reggaeton lyrics ngl
Years later I decided to try this. I went around kissing dudes with these exact tips, and now they won’t leave me alone. You’d think as a woman this would be a good thing, but as I am a straight man you’d be wrong. This was just a goofy test I was doing but now it’s gone too far. There’s 17 grown men on my house steps beating more door in. They’ve been going for days. Idk what I’ve done, but they’re gonna get in soon. This may be my last message. Wish me luck, boys
he died
Rest in peace, Shmeat.
RIP Shmeat he died as he lived. overrun with men
RIP you went out with a bang
RIP schmeat. rest in peas
"He pulls away without even telling you why"
IT'S CALLED *BREATHING* MICHAEL
“Why did you pull away?”
“My mom told me that if you French kiss for to long then you get a girl pregnant.”
Aya Amirdash Thank you!
@@aidenroy576 that explains all these paternity suits against me...
Aya Amirdash I know dog
BUT WHY IS HE BREATHING
"Primal Passion Kiss" and "Mirror Universe Kiss" sound like magical-girl anime moves
Lmfao
*KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE*
Oh my god. SOMEBODY MAKE A CALL.
I hope he does an update on this Micheal Fiore shit cause I got ads from them and their shit is now on crack. Talking about male energy and shit
@@TurtleBazooka64 MAYBE YOU'RE MY LOVE ✨
I love how they explain kissing like pokemon attacks (“i used the passion whatever kiss”)
it was effective
Charizard! use passion kiss!
It wasn't very effective...
I adore that you just saw this ad and thought to yourself:
*“content.”*
2k likes but no replies ook
We stan a Cult leader that can find a spark of creativity in any dumb usless thing.
You look so cool, that's it that's all i wanted to say
@@bluemoon32299 yes
@@bluemoon32299 commenting this thirst a two year old comment. SIMP
y o u f e e l y o u r t o e s c u r l
Shalini Saravanan oh god not again!
Something tells me Micheal likes toes lmao
Shalini Saravanan that comment made my ovaries curl, up and die.
It’s called hammer toe you should see a doctor.
weird.. my toes curl when I get my balls licked rofl
This is just the adult equivalent of when I was a kid and typed "mermaid spells" into youtube thinking that this one action would solve my entire life's problem
i feel called out
Loool
It's nice to know that I'm not the only one. Did you also watch the Discovery Channel mermaid documentaries and have your gullible, young mind blown?
@@crystaleunoia3974 and the "top ten mermaid evidence" videos. My gullible young mind loved nothing more than a listicle
Same thing for me except I am trans so uh it was a bit *harder*
Y’all these kissing tips can be found in like fanfic for 0 damn dollars smh
My ex friend learned how to s**k d**k from harry styles fanfic
@@jackieviramontes5226 I can only assume that they're your ex-friend because you were afraid of how powerful they'd become
@@jackieviramontes5226 you would be surprised at how detailed and helpful they are!
THE TRUTH
This is *the first thing* I thought lmao
Got flashbacks to when I was 12
That video of the woman talking was some terrible terrible fanfiction
I hope her man's toes are okay tbh
Was about to like but it was at 469.
Michael's advice: "You're nothing to him unless you're a constant wellspring of validation to his broken machismo and fragile ego."
But you can show all of that with these simple techniques for a great kiss! 😂
Haha pretty mich
Fr tho that bit about the kiss saying "you're powerful and have earned me" that's literally just male validation.
Just tried the eyelid kiss. Can confirm boyfriend’s look of horror as he did not close his eyes.
Hahahahaha oh my god that’s amazing 😂
He clearly does not like vore
@@spookcannot3967 cease
i finally understand the joy of bringing the like total to a milestone. 1k, and I can die in peace now!
@@blue-dabad33 agreed, it feels way to good to advance the likes from 3 to 4 digit number....100% c e r t a i n that if i had a d*ck it'd be ROCK hard
I’ve been with my husband for 13 years & we care for each other deeply. If he came home from work and I tried to tongue kiss him he’d think there was a killer in the house and I was trying to silently warn him.
The dude did say a kiss is a *conversation*
Sooo
Mambo Shala you can pass him the key that way
@@MonoEnta I'm sorry I know you commented that a week ago but it's still haunting me.
This thread is mildly cursed. I like it.
The dude looks like the base character before you customize them
Omg litERALLYYYY
This is beautiful
make sure to point your toes towards the like button
😂
Haha
I liked this comment with my toe
🩰
Probably the most cursed thing I've ever heard, but incredibly relevant, unlike this comment, which is replying to a comment from a year ago.
Eddy pretending he has kissed a girl for 24 minutes
This is the funniest thing I've seen all day. And I just wanted to thank you for that
Gash Jackson has probably kissed a lady but I'm pretty sure it was only through a dental dam. At least Eddothy isn't scared of cooties.
more like Michael pretending he's kissed a girl before
It's fucked up how funny this comment is to me
And one second
I don’t that I really care how a girl is kissing me, I’m just happy because she cares enough to kiss me.
Same brotha
Same sis
Yerr
wholesome
The “love expert” in this video looks like a Minecraft villager
no
no
H R R N ?
😂
Holy shit
Eddy, I tried the 'Primal Passion Kiss' on my man and he became unintelligible and started carrying around a club and wearing this weird tattered toga with a tiger pattern...I don't even know where he got them, I suspect he used Amazon to order a Fred Flintstone costume...What do I do? I thought it would improve our relationship, but now all he wants to do is ride around in his golf cart and go out dinosaur hunting with the boys...I don't think he actually knows much about the stone age.
weird. he's not worshiping you?
Lmao
i cant like this comment, its 420 likes..
@@creedbratton548 It's the internet; someone ruined it.
Is your man Casey Neistat?
3:53 - It looks like all the hair from his head went to his forearm.
Thank you Seth Everman, for saving my marriage
cursed
Blursed
He is Seth's older, less attractive and popular brother who has no talent in music and is convinced that he has a talent in marketing, which is also not true.
Seth's parents have his pictures upstairs in a drawer while Seth is staring at guests from a hundred portraits on the wall. All four walls, in fact.
Their parents pretend to have only one son.
No wonder this guy sells both kissing advice and self-praise in same quantities
Соня Скупова damn
Don't you fucking disrespect Seth like that ever again
“Relationship expert” so you got your bachelors degree in communication
and then he finds 7 million different ways to convince sad women in relationships not 2 communicate
My boyfriend isn’t that good of a kisser. I’ve never been like ‘damn I need to break up with this awesome guy who shares my sense of humor and worldview, is smart and educated, and is extremely secure, because his lip game is not on point.’
Once you’ve been dating for a minute, you kiss like once a month. If this is the key factor in your relationships I guarantee that’s not gonna work out.
Preach
Actually lol.
Also, you can really easily give a partner pointers on how to kiss you how you like. Most partners will do it because they know you’ll like it, it’s not rocket science Michael!
Wait what you kiss like once a month? That seems sad to me
Just teach him how you want to be kissed so u guys can kiss everyday
Targeting insecure women craving male attention for monetary gain? Now that's a big YIKES from me!
How do u like a comment more than once
@@em-zb6gl Duplicate accounts
That's marketing.
Seriously half of marketing is designed to prey on your insecurities, the other half is to make you want shit you didnt know you wanted. Arguably the easier one is preying on insecurities. Why do you think the diamond industry pushes jewelry as the ultimate sign of love for example?
Ordering a big *YIKES* right now sir 👩💻
That's business.
“That’s right women, if your relationship is struggling, it’s you’re fault for not kissing good enough” - this Michael guy apparently
?? I've stopped guys from kissing me weirdly and been like hey that's too much tongue. Or I'll ask them hey it feels like you're pulling away lately, can we talk about it?
Like guys just be forthright without attacking the person and you're good. Don't buy RachelRayMichaels ridiculous program.
Alexis D lots of people seem to think proper conversation is a romance killer.
@@Zimzamzoom95 idk why but maybe it's all these posts on social media from pseudo-influencers saying things like "He/She should know what you want before you even say it" or "We dont even need to say it, we say I love you with our eyes." And stupid shit like that. Maybe not, but it's still silly.
And here I thought it was because I constantly brought him down, he thinks I'm about to fight him when he comes home, everytime I see him I tell him how much I wish I'd said yes to another man.... But I'll just add a lil more tongue 😂😂😂😂also this is THICK sarcasm I don't abuse my man lmao
@@Gtree43 Hmmmm which part of the sentence 🤔
I love that the little video about the woman “losing” her lover is missing the point. If your significant other is late for a fight he’s not going to be like, “yes the time for a romantic kiss” he’s going to be stressed because he’s late for a flight. You’ll kiss later but right now possibly a thousand dollars and possibly his job is on the line so...cut the man some slack.
These types of ads are so incredibly condescending to women. I saw one that started by saying how miserable women are without a man and how they spend Friday evenings crying with a tub of ice cream. And this was aimed at women! I think it was supposed to be relatable xD Anyway that's when I closed the tab because I couldn't take it anymore. Eddy did a real sacrifice here.
Evija3000 Oh honey, I don’t need a man or ice cream. I just need a vibrator and porn
Pretty sure that type of ad is preying on the most desperate of women
@Tara Lang Congrats on being strong women who can handle themselfs. But in all honesty, wouldnt you want to be held while falling asleep everynight? Not Need, but want. I know thats what i miss most from relationships. as aman
@Tara Lang That is to me as true as it is untrue. If you decide too love Anyone it will most likely not be "The Relationship", But it might very well still be the one relationship. If not you have hopefully gained some experience about yourself and others. So i can get behind that strategy, but there if deffenitely a point to be made about "not looking and finding". I think it is becouse you will naturally end up around people that likes the same things as you and will therefor find a partner that fits better.
They both work and both have Great possetives and Great negatives.
Also a note on cuddeling. It's the fact that the person trusts you completely to chose to be beside and in contact with you in a time when we just need to be safe to fall asleep. I guess it's just an ego thing.
There are similar ads of similar... "programs" directed at men, with very similar techniques in how they advertise it (bring up the promise of a secret, create this narrative, have the ad be super long so they feel like they're already engaged, high ball a "real" cost for the thing while actual cost is something like 30 bucks which in comparison seems low). The interesting bit is where they differ. The ones directed at men are focused on sex, almost entirely. They also have a much stronger focus on "mind control". A lot of them are about how you can completely control women with this one secret technique.
"And he just pulls away."
Yeah. Yeah most kisses don't last forever. Luckily.
Dementors approve
Most
most??????
All but the kiss of death
His website is like a really bad smut FanFiction, written by a 12yo on Wattpad about fnaf
why does this sound like the worst kind of fanfiction
It's even written like a Wattpad fanfic
Watt pad writers don’t deserve this, they aren’t scamming ppl
I was thinking the same...
Bc it is loool
the dude from split has a personality that loves writing erotic fiction
i had no idea it wasn't him; i'm so glad i now know that it wasn't actually him. thank you, Oana Puha
eddy burback looks like he gives the best hugs
TRUE
Facts
thanks! now i know!
With great power cones great responsibility
How many shrimps should I eat to turn my skin pink?
Berd.... make a video of how berds kiss. I see you on this vid so I know that you now know about how to kiss. Make it. Berd-e.
There is a verified berd account?
Cool!
When are you going to let me change my Twitter banner? :(
I could actually use these tips on my boyfriend... so that every time we touch, I get this feeling. and every time we kiss, I swear I could fly. can’t you feel my heart beat fast. I want this to last. need you by my side
Lmaooo
I’m having childhood flashbacks of naruto x sasuke amv’s
@@xxnekonekox :o lol
Why did I laugh so much.
This is one of the best comments Ive read in My entire life
Jesus Christ! You cracked it!
I was wondering what my marriage was missing and I realize now, it was a Katana. You've saved my marriage and you've also helped me start a new career as a body guard. I've never felt more badass. Thank you.
But like... is there a specific way I should kiss my Katana so it doesn't leave me?
this dude michael paints a very sad picture of straight women in long term relationships
Yea I mean my grandpa and grandma have been married since they were 18 and they're both 70
and it’s pretty accurate sadly.
How is his head so bald but his arm so hairy?
God hates him in particular
he cut all his head hair off and glued it to his body to look more manly and kissable
cmlc the hair migrated to his arm to escape the eyeball kissing!
Testosterone maybe.
gravity
Things I learned today:
1) Eddy listens to MF DOOM
2) The reason I'm single is cause I kiss bad
3) Bryan is a chad.
Seems like a way to scam self conscious women ... disgusting 😑
LIKE THE BIG SHLONG ADS
I got this ad a while back when I was in a very dark and vulnerable place and I almost fell for it (don’t judge too harshly, please), THIS is exactly the video I’ve been looking for back then. I hope lots of people who get targeted by this creepy and condescending ad find your video!
You guys shouldnt feel self conscious about falling for the ad. That's what he does. He crawls down into people's depression pits with girls who just want to be loved and find someone and then acts like he has a ladder out of the pit. It's very tempting to try to pay for the ladder. But the true power comes from crawling out of the pit yourself. Proud of you guys.
That's what makes it so disgusting. It's clearly predatory and targets people who are either very desperate or just in a vulnerable, low place in their life currently. And then he exploits them for all their money.
Fitness gurus pull the same garbage. They all act like there's secrets or shortcuts to this stuff too, when there just isn't. The answer to your problems is almost always right in front of your face, and it's usually the thing you've been avoiding because of some larger truth or commitment it entails. This goes for anything really.
But if you're low enough or desperate enough you believe there must be something you're missing, and that's how they get you. But once you're on the other side of that, and you can think more clearly, it's just insane to see how many people pretend they know way more than they do, and they really only hold a basic understanding of how something works, and in this guys case I would say he's even below the line on that. And he's claiming to be an expert, and is shameless about the lack of proof or credentials. Like he doesn't even have any pictures of him with women and no ones ever come forward claiming they've been in a relationship with him or tried to defend him at all. And tbh I doubt he's ever even experienced real love for himself.
No judgment here, hon. Glad you're doing better now.
I’m glad Eddie lost money on this dude before y’all did, glad y’all are doing better too.
Same. My dumb 13 year old self watched one of these ads to the very end
9:32 does dude really say "it sends an *unconscious* message"? Cause that sounds like tips for Bill Cosby.
Unless he meant subconscious, which is something completely different....
All I got was a gcu ad when I clicked on the time stamp
@@godrickthegrafted7583 really? I just clicked on it and it showed the message.
What's a GCU ad?
@@altusshow7574 gcu means Grand Canyon University
*it started out with a kiss how did it end up like this*
edit: i jUSt got a michael fiore ad and i'm screaMing guys hELp
It was only a kiss. *It was only a kiss.*
And she’s touching his chest now
He takes off her dress now
Let me go
Just read the edit still to the tune of the song
It won’t stop
It goes on and on
Every single one of my toes curled while watching this video
Niki they made mine point towards the door
Now if only my toes curled towards the door...
Niki Individually or all at once?
Only 7 of my toes curled
Wait seriously all of them? Woah. Goals.
I can’t tell if he hired a bad wattpad smut author for the script or of he wrote it himself.
Porque no los dos¿
19:52 “Establishing YOUR sexual power over him...” that sounds like part of a legal definition of sexual harassment
eddy u look beautiful in ur lil shirt and ur nice ol beard
I dont know why this is hilarious
This is so wholesome
Yes! He looks like a dad and I love it
I want to F U C K E D D Y ! ! !
Before you walk out of that door Eddy let me melt into you. We can become one person and be together forever.
The without a single word part hit me hard lmao, literally 90% of relationship problems are solved through words
"you can vacuum up her ashes later, right now you're primal"
This is hilarious and deserves more likes. Here's one more.
The way to any man's heart - a katana
Surgery?
Steal the ones he keeps in jars by his bed.
@@christopherminutolo9384 A katana is probably too large for that--surgery, I mean: if you just want the heart and don't care about the other bits, though, it should do nicely enough.
Either by giving it to him or staving him
Nah your bare hands
His ad is so predatory…so many women believe that they are the problem or would do anything to make their waste-of-time-boyfriend “love them again”. Free tip: if he’s trash, move along sister. There’s someone better.
17:05 This site seriously looks like those sites loaded with malware.
fake download links and all
Click on the blank space and you get sent straight to a porn site
Disappointed you didn't test any of these on Gus, but still good video
"I felt like I found a man who finally understood..."
Ah, yes, us women need men to explain everything to us! I'd forgotten! 😂🤢
Allow me to explain why we need to do that...
Eddy is out here doing what most TH-camrs wouldn't, paying for kissing classes so we don't have to.
Lets be real, eddy took these classes to learn how to kiss
@@boopdeeb9444 He did but he also hit me up for free my dude. What a homie
Oh my god all the skipping before the program wowww
Omwwww I love you and your videos
oh hi, you're here
ily mom
fan theory: "Eddy bought this video instantly. He knew immediately that one of two things would happen. He would either learn the secret to FORCING Gus to love him back, or he would have one dope ass video." Sorry you didn't get the guy, Eddy.. but the video is great!
Lmao poor eddy, the primal passion kiss didnt work :/
Recent events have not touched these comments kindly
“The primal passion kiss” sounds like an anime fight move that a 40 year old perv character would yell
PRIMALu PASSIONu KISSu
Muten Roshi-sama's secret weapon
Lmaoo The u's killed me
@@atrapdr6251 Me too, Dude!! Actually heard it in an Old-Anime-Perverts Voice while reading
@@natvasch6399 Loll
SHINE! 「PRIMAL PASSION KISS」
I'm suddenly ashamed to be a Michael
it’s ok michael scott evens it out
Well, it's a good thing you go by Mike.
More like Mike Hunt
And so you should.
and Michael Reeves
“The frickin Steven universe one, I-I dunno if you can do that one. I think that ones illegal..”
tImE tO kIsS a MiNoR
Are you telling me that sticking my tongue out like a lizard and flapping my arms like a chicken isn’t what men want in a passionate kiss?
Also, I’m pretty sure the “mouth-to-mouth” method is just CPR, Michael.
LMAO
am male and i can confirm that the "lizard-chicken" method is exactly what all men actually want.
Lizard chicken is advanced technique revealed for the upgrade
Lizard chicken kiss is so 2000 late. Crocodile snake kiss is what's hot now.
@@moeezS You really are sleeping on the ass to tongue Cow Giraffe technique my freind.
he wrote the kisses into the ad like they were moves in Pokémon.
“Tanya used Primal Passion Kiss on Brian!
It’s super effective!
Tanya’s failing relationship has worn off...”
Got an ad like this a few months ago (the same thing just for men). Same website, same layout, just a different voice. The presentation was around 30 minutes long, apparently the whole thing is: "Buy this book! You will NOT regret this!" or something like that...
michael's nose is just a model replica of his head
Underrated comment. That's a classic
Wait wait wait
*wait-*
this comment makes me absolutely lose it
"... like I was about to start a fight..."
This woman sounds borderline abusive.
Pretty sure she killed her last husband.
One real kissing tip from my mother and her 50-year marriage to my father: occasionally, when they're talking, she'll take his hand and kiss the back of it while looking up at him lovingly. They'll then hold hands for the rest of the conversation, with him looking shy but pleased. I think it just goes to show that men like to feel cherished, too, and finding tender gestures that your male partner appreciates is important.
Oh my god! That’s so cute!
You could've just asked me if you wanted to practice :/
Zipzapadam dang same :^/
The most disgusting thing about this "class" is the combination of how it targets at young, insecure girls by specifically making them think "You're the one who's doing something wrong", and how everything is worded so specifically to manipulate these young, vulnerable, insecure, younger girls that they're clearly targeting.
It's so gross to me how we constantly see predatory "I'll teach you the secret" setups like this where the commercial is basically someone saying "YOU'RE wrong, it's YOUR fault, YOU need to be better and different because YOU are the failure (pay me to teach you,)" instead of the more obvious conclusion that nobody would pay to hear: _you really need to expose yourself to more different types of people and stop going after the same dysfunctional/incompatible person every time_ ."
Exactly!!!! so true 👏
The re-watchability of this video is insane.
The difference in hair on Fiore’s forearm and upper arm is staggering.
Havelah Kusi right? it’s like he waxes his upper arms but not his forearms lol
Havelah Kusi he looks like when a fantasy character has armour exclusively on their lower arms, except it's hair and disgusting.
Havelah Kusi I know. And the baldness just exaggerates the arm hair
That was the most disturbing part of that picture.
im dying
Don't Pee January has really brought the spark back to my relationship ❤
Not me. I told my gf and she seemed concerned
@@merwheeler break up with her
At all or on each other?
Electrolytes are a helluva drug
"Over the next few months I worked with Michael to pull out every secret, every technique, every trick, and every idea out of his ass."
Yes, because women are HEARTBROKEN when a first date doesn’t work out.
And a first kiss is the main deciding factor in whether or not a guy wants to continue dating you.
All that personality stuff? DOESN’T MATTER.
Thank you for finding this Eddy lmao
@FRHEAKY holy crap, I died of laughter 😂
Our relationship had reached new highs. We were closer than we'd ever been but then tragedy struck. One day Brian came home distraught, tears streaming down his face, "I...my brother just called me...my mom had a heart attack." I was left stunned, unsure of what to do next but then I remembered what Michael had taught me. I stepped forward, taking Brian into my arms and kissed him, using it to convey my sadness for him and my regret for his pain. I stepped away, searching Brian's face, hoping that he'd understood.
"What was that? I just told you my mom died!"
How could he not have understood, how come he hadn't felt it, "Didn't you feel what I was saying through the kiss?"
"No, what the fuck! What's wrong with you?"
Needless to say, we broke up soon afterwards but that was okay. With Michael's lessons I knew it wouldn't be long before I found the one.
(Seriously though, I wonder if people I have actually paid for this class 😂)
Bright Trials LOL! You're funny.
PRIMAL CONDOLENCE KISS
lmao! what's next? the "sorry for your loss" kiss instead of a greeting card?
his website just looks like a virus
“Kissing” is being repeated so many times in Michaels advertisement, the word has started to lose meaning in my mind
I could make it mean something again.
Lets meet up and I’ll let you blow me a primal passion kiss from across the room.
How's this not sponsored by skillshare?
Zart why did I read milkshake? Lol
@@StrawberryNinjaNibbles
idk, u hungry?
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!! XD I totally expected an ad in-between the intro and the actual vid..! XD
"...like he was kissing his grandma..."
Y'all kiss your grandma on the lips?
Michael does
In slavic cultures, people do kiss family on the lips, no matter the age 🙃 (but uhm... not with tongue or anything, before someone thinks something weird)
Even thouugh the writing may not have been... to our liking, i think the woman hired to narrate did a good job. I'd guess she does audio books and just picked up an odd job.
She couldn’t have done much better with that script. It’s like a good actor in a horrible movie.
Probably got her off fiverr for $20 cheap bastard
She sounds like the girl in the beginning of yandere simulator
As funny as this video is, I feel like it also serves as a really good educational tool for all the blatant techniques advertisers use to brainwash people.
Yeees for real. As soon as TH-cam analytics caught on that I was a woman in a relationship I started getting ads like these trying to prey on any insecurities I might have, and as soon as the analytics discovered I wanted to eat healthier and struggled with that, I started getting weight loss and dangerous diet pill ads. Marketing can be concerningly manipulative. I'm very lucky to be a woman who didn't fall for it.
When he started reading Michael’s testimonies with that selfie, I damn near died.
Ah, yes, the Primal Passion Kiss, my favorite pokemon move
I was searching for this comment
I was not disappointed
Sounds like a fucking magical girl attack
Eddy Burback is my favourite relationship guru
Holy shit, this is making kissing sound like a superpower.
Kiss someone, and communicate years worth of information, understand their wants and needs implicitly, and have control of them to bend them to your whims...
I'm gonna wreck one of this man's points: dogs dont lick out of affection or love.
Dogs lick for several reasons:
1: they like the salt in your sweat. Even if you dont feel sweaty dogs can taste the salt in your skin.
2: licking releases endorphins in their brain. So if your dog is stressed or scared they will lick to try and calm themselves. That may be you, themselves, or even just the ground.
C: dogs lick the faces and mouths of the person/dog/animal they feel is in charge. It's a form of submission. Of my 4 dogs, our oldest is the "alpha dog" of the four. All 3 of the other dogs lick his mouth and face to show that they respect his position and know they are below him.
4: attention. When your dog "kisses" you, you often get excited or at least pet them. Therefore you have trained your dog that licking=attention.
You didn't have to break my heart like that.
? CeCe ? Ikr I thought my dog kisses me because he loved me 😭
But then why do they lick their children so frequently?
Your dog does love you, you’re the alpha.
Oscar Wilde to clean them
This is just an excuse to spice up things with Gus
Honestly Eddy gives the advice every person needs to hear, and it's free
8:26
"Brian could you pay any attention to me at all, because it seems like you're not even trying
And then if he says no? Leave him! Don't take a $500 an hour class with this dude to learn how you can win Brian back. *The fuck has Brian ever done for you?"*
you could’ve just said “8:42-8:55” is very good advice. you didn’t have to quote the video we all saw it
Eddie, this is gonna be your signature video one day. Just watch.
do my eyes deceive me or is that rusty cage as ur pfp
heyimbori
yup, it’s him! straight from his website
he’s a handsome lil bastard, right ?
Eddie Burbank accidentally buys erotic fan fiction
That entire powerpoint presentation ad is just a poem with extra steps.
This might just be me, but I really love that casual intimacy. Not every kiss needs to be a passionate one. I live for the little goodbye kisses my boyfriend gives me when he or I leave the house, or little good-morning kisses before we're fully up and moving. To me, that's what feels safe and secure.
I completely agree with you!
Right? Not everything needs to be about sExUaL dOmiNaNcE
Kissing is literally the only thing that goes into a relationship.
Call me old fashioned, but I have to be married to a girl for at least 3 years before I can kiss them
Jake Custer 😂
Kids these days.
In my day we didn't kiss at all😒😒
Are you secretly Girl Defined?
Mario Bros 🤫
Doug Stanhope:"we didn't even finger fuck til we were 30!"
This guy from the ad looks like dollar store pitbull