It's interesting that I think I knew all this pretty well, which improved my life so much over the last few years. But yesterday night I was processing a painful event of the day and for a few hours my ego prevailed and it was a firework of negative thoughts. I couldn't sleep so I looked at my phone and found your video, which reminded me of the right way to direct my thoughts and actions. So helpful, thank you! So, my takeaway is that, once again, we can build and strengthen new synapses but the old ones are still there, a bit weakened but still there. So, we cannot stop working on ourselves!
Recalling different scenarios I can separate the P's from the C's in them. The C's feel more comfortable while the P's Promote anxiety & stress! So many times I think we operate on autopilot so this will help me in taking a step back to feel where I'm coming from.
How to identify ego ? 1. What can I prove ? 2. Am I trying to avoid feeling ? 3. Who do I try to please ? 4. What am I trying to create ? The four seeds for authenticity: 1) motivation: what to contribute, 2) how to connect and 3) what to cultivate in this life. I began to plant these seeds before I know this. Working as a university lecturer gives me a great platform to be the authentic self.
In the Spirit, our eternal True Eternal Divine Presence we are perfect! When we identify as the temporal finite ego character we will suffer.. Our imperfect ego character we can find compassion and understanding for its ignorance, both mine & others.. learning to align our thoughts and feeling with our Higher Self🙏
Yesss deff but the ego will be vulnerable when it okays the victim, but it's still about what's in it for me as opposed to surrendering to the Divine- how can I serve🙏
Ego 1. What can I prove 2. What can I protect 3. What can I perfect 4. Who can I please Authenticity 1. What can I create 2. What can I contribute 3. How can I connect 4. What can I cultivate
Human nature is based on the image of God (God is love) and is the most authentic way of living because he is the pattern of our identity. The reason we need to avoid seeking to prove, protect, perfect or please in our human relationships is because we are only doing it to “get love.” But seeking to create, contribute, connect, and cultivate are the behaviors of God, and on a personality level, this is what it looks like to “be in God’s image”
This threw me for a loop when you said that people pleasing is about ego. I always viewed my people pleasing as coming simply from wanting to be accepted but...it makes perfect sense. When I am people pleasing I am not being who I really am. Thanks 😊
I always feel like i'm not interesting enough and that I never fit in enough so I'm always trying to connect with other people's emotions by pleasing them and even by victimising myself sometimes... Thanks this video really helps ❤ its amazing how much better I feel when I stop trying and when I tell myself I'm enough. Suddenly I don't feel the need of having this one person that it's going to make me feel ok with myself always, I can do it myself, and that way I'm a much better friend
Script : ego based action, choice: 1.what can i prove? 2. What can I protect? 3. What can I perfect? 4. Who can i please? 5. How am i performing? 3 c's of authenticity 1. What can I create ( meaningfull, valuable, gifts, talents) ? 2. What can I contribute? (Authenticity, kindness,love motivation, gifts, talents) as a genuine extention of ourselves 3. How can I connect? (Instead of divide, communicate, show up in authenticity) 4. What can I cultivate? (Build and grow, experience in this life ? To contribute for this world)
My ego has helped me stay alive while climbing mountains and take risky expeditions for the past 30 years. It has never helped me obtain good life or a partner, bc he's a sneaky bastard and wants it all!! The video exposes all my behaviors that are wrong! Thanks for this! almost too late but I will try my best! Thanks for this video, you have a great smile!
Are you kidding, you just single-handedly gave me all of the tools that I needed. You are single-handedly going to change my whole life, my relationships and best yet save me from myself. My first search, my first video and you blew it out of the park. I am so grateful for you 😢. You don't even know it.
Hi I'm Brian.. I've just very recently become aware of what a huge problem ego has been my whole life.. it is my goal to be my true self and to represent my true self.
I am feeling so happy to be back. Set in my intention to breakthrough and be my best self🙏🏽🌱 EGO: What can I prove ? What can I protect ? What can I perfect ? Who can I please? Authenticity: What can I create ? What can I contribute ? How can I connect ? What can I cultivate ? Thank you so much 💚💚💚
I am a people pleaser. I lost an amazing man because of ego. When things started changing for him, I took it all personal. I acted to out of line. I hurt him and damaged the most beautiful relationship I have ever had. Thank you for this.
When you start experiencing instead of intellectually living, your in authentic ways of yourself. Surrendering to the unknown and living day by day with no worries of the past and no anxiety of the future, just experiencing the present, just the present.
Ohh my good lord. How did I only meet you today? Wish I could subscribe 10 times. Thanks so very much. I work with children and teenagers and I can promise you I will be using these 4 Ps and 4 Cs to motivate and empower my, community, young people and families as much as you have empowered me with your words. Thanks 😊
I am in the process of mentally beating my ego to death. Your ego will ALWAYS find ways of sabotaging your desires, and to try to tell you you're not good enough or not worthy, because it doesn't want to give you permission to take risks that go along with inner growth. This is a DAMN GOOD video!
I see you doing the work, John - and just a reminder that there's no need to beat up the ego - just notice and observe it and then make a conscious choice that is authenticity-based instead.
Yessss!! Some people call the ego the inner child. When I talk to my inner child in a loving and compassionate way instead of a critical way, it changes everything!! It makes me feel lighter and more optimistic! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. Thank you Julia Kristina!!! This is a very good video!!!! I hope you and your family have safe and happy holidays!!!🎄🎁❤️
Often I do not realise that my ego is overriding me . I sometimes mistake it for intuition. it's tricky to know where is this coming from. I have to start checking my inner voice and finding out if it is preventing me from authentic decisions. Tks 🙏
Ego finds ways to sabotage your desires? NO its your ego that desires those things in the first place, all your desires stem from ego, even the seemingly 'good' desires are done in order for temporary pleasure for your ego which keeps you away from your real self. "try to tell you're not worthy?" yes because your ego benefits from that too, your mind likes telling itself that it's not deserving or worthy to keep you distracted. "inner growth" is another concept of your ego, you strengthen your ego by 'improving yourself' because you think you are a better version of yourself, until a crisis hits you and you react in the same old ways, if you don't then yeah you've actually stumbled upon something genuine.
This is one that has taken me so long to understand. I just turned 47 yesterday. My hope is my own children will learn this earlier than I have! It feels so exhausting when we are not genuine! Am I sensitive, do I cry more than maybe most? Yes! LOL That’s just me! Happy, sad, frustrated, when in pain and when I’m grateful! I cry! LOL I was ashamed of things like this because I felt so different. But my connection to my loved ones has deepened! They are more meaningful now that I’ve practiced what you’ve been teaching! I’m so very grateful for you and feel excited to keep breaking through and just love life! If we are made to have joy as I believe we all deserve this! You make perfect sense! Thank you! 🤗👍🏻❤️👏🏻👌🏻
The 4Ps work perfectly. I realized that my ego shows up invariably when somebody makes me wait. I am trying to protect myself from the feeling of unworthiness. This knowledge is changing my life. Thank you and keep up the good work!
Really well explained. As you say we all have an ego, the trick is to become aware when it comes into play. Then the difficult part is learning how to deal or respond to a situation in an adult mature balanced way.
" I am not enough" ... a good Mom to my only son who lost his Daddy in 2012. My ego lashes out when he does not act in the way my ego expects! I am here for serious Counseling thank you for being here for me!
I was a people pleaser. The problem i had was when I stopped focusing on others as much, I felt more anxiety and thought people would notice the change in me and would think something was wrong. I felt better when I gradually phased it out to a point where I WANTED to do things for people rather than all the time. I personally have always had problems with what others think of me, its very tiring. I'm glad I became aware and am now watching a lot of these types of videos to learn about my authentic self. I'm desperate to live my genuine authentic self, at 37 years old I've got time to live my life over again and see the world and people through new eyes. Thank god for videos like these, I mean who else teaches us this stuff? That's a genuine question btw
I like the way you put this. Being a people pleaser, I guess I never thought of it as.... actually doing things for others because you are trying to please them vrs. genuinely WANTING to do things for others. I guess where you have to draw the line is....realizing if you are doing it out of pleasing or not. Right? People actually WONT notice the change that you are helping others more genially because thats actually....normal? The anxiety of people pleasing is all in your mind.
This information was well presented. This world is mostly trauma based that leads to being ego driven for "self protection" clearly represented in the music being hailed today.Traits like being understanding and compassionate are going out the door,To truly learn and perform without engaging in a condrontational or aggressive behaviour one has to incorporate what was presentented here today. Very easy to digest and helpful. Thank you for sharing
The ego attaches to things, beliefs, people thoughts etc. The self observes, it is free of attachment. The ego has many opinions, the true self just is. Meditation helps with this dissolving of ego and becoming present and none attached. It takes some time to get used to and ego will sneak back on a regular basis. The ego does not want to die so it fights on the way out. My "Dark Night of the Soul" lasted about six years as ego was being stripped away (and still is). It was my encounter with a Narcissist that catalyzed this. Prove, Protect, Perfect, Please - if you unpack these you will notice attachment to a belief about yourself. One that was likely given to you when you were a child, it served you then to stay safe. For example we said "yes" to a parent so we could get love (or what passed for love) even if we did not agree with what the parent said or did. Ego is birthed in these moments. I spoke to my friend last night that is enneagram 1 Perfectionistic. I mentioned to her the way out, that she is lovable even if she is not perfect. Embrace imperfection in yourself and others. We are all working on receiving of love including our own love and that is something (my) ego rejects as it is still attached to a false belief. I could discuss this for many more paragraphs as it has been something I have been working on for several years now. Still trying to understand the golden shadow and allow it to find me.
Found this because of Thomas Merton. Trying to search for the deep Self. In recovery from Addiction and a traumatic brain injury as a direct result. My true Self has been blotted out by my pasts guise of Booze and Use and coupled along side a TBI, I dont know who I am but getting a better idea each day at a time. Thank you so much for this!
Alright, it’s been about two weeks since I first watched this video and it has had a very positive affect on my relationship. On a number of occasions, I’ve asked myself one of the “four c’s” questions. In the midst of a challenging moment with my husband, I did a quick “self check” to choose my behavior, either ego or authenticity. For example, I asked myself, “If I turn away now, isn’t that just a defense mechanism (ego)?” and “How can I truly connect with him right now, even though we’re both triggered?” I was thrilled to discover that I was able to use your four c’s with great results. I reframed the situation and was able to choose healthier behaviors. Thank you so much for this video.
Watching this video and listening to your words made me realize how far I‘ve come. I‘m so proud of myself 🥺 BUT it is so frustrating dealing with Ego driven people. Conversations are so meaningless, controversies so useless and lead to nowhere. I wished there were more awakened authentic people around. How much more beautiful and peaceful and calm this world would be! Imagine politicians being authentic and not Ego driven. Just think about it for a sec... Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and healing presented so calmly - and explained so clearly. I’m always taking something from it. I appreciate you 💙
I wonder if politicians were forced to walk in the building naked not just one but all of them if it would force them to think more authentically, and not be so embarrassed about even the little things of human beings, what are they protecting by wearing clothes? Scared to be judged.. what do they have to prove by taking a stance on why it should be this way and not that way. where if they just allowed it to be the way it is we would not need police running the streets always strung up with fear like frogs with firecrackers waiting to go off in their asses on enforcing laws onto people who they have the preconceived notion and manipulated thoughts into labels that they are “bad” unless you witness something that genuinely makes you feel bad then perhaps it is but it’s important to not follow the leader or the Hurd and take suggestions as absolute orders you must follow. And police are just one example of a fear based group infact gangs state they are afraid of the police but are afraid of being killed or enslaved, police are afraid of gangs for being raped (hehe) or killed, most people fear death and they allow that to dictate their actions rather than fearing suffering a miserable controlled life and letting their genuine self of love happiness and virtue shine through in even the most disillusioned fear based realities. You may try and change physical energy but if your energy is weak or low vibrational all things that are nice in this world will pick up on that and run somewhere else, it’s only when you align your faith and believes to yourself to guide you that sets you free in this world, live life in wonder and never had a depressed day, live life in sovereignty and let everyone rule your emotions and physical body.
I felt similarly to the way you did. I felt that I was surrounded by quite a few toxic people and I would try to pass on the valuable lessons on mindfulness that I'd learnt but still I felt at odds with them. Eventually I realised that I still had a lot to learn because despite becoming self aware and learning everything I could on personal growth, I was still allowing people into my life who were not emotionally healthy and could bring me down quite often and thus stunted my growth. In fact I could argue that my ego was still a negative presence in my life because I chose to hang out with these people and probably enjoyed feeling like I was above them (emotionally speaking) because I felt I had some authority over them. If anything it has made me think very carefully about my reasons for the things I do and the people I accept into my life, and to consider if I may have any ulterior motives.
I feel dumb not even knowing about or understanding ego and I am almost 40 years old. I was bringing negativity into my relationship and I didn't even realize it was my ego. Since looking into this, I have learned that it's ok to be flawed and not perfect. I don't need to have all the answers and that I will be loved for who I am. I realized my ego was preventing me from admitting I was wrong by trying to explain myself for being wrong or not knowing something. It seemed innocent enough but it is an act of lying and dishonesty. Being wrong or not knowing something is OK. Also, I realized my ego was causing me to be more defensive than I needed to be. This was because my ego was telling me that I had a right to be defensive and I didn't take into account what I may have done or if my expectations for the situation were wrong or if I was interpreting the situation incorrectly. Also, my ego was not living in the present but in the past or the future and acting out of past experiences and of fear of future unknown outcomes. When I realized that my feelings and my ego were connected, a lightbulb came on. I have lots to work on but being new to the concept of ego, it is causing me to look at things so much differently. I vow to be more present and live in the present. And to be mindful of being myself, my true self, and to check my ego and try to put it away. For I do not need to be scared of expressing my feelings or showing my true self, my partner loves me for me. She is a wonderful human and I wish I had known all this sooner. She has opened my eyes to be my better self. I appreciate videos like these to help me to be a better me. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing this. All of this resonates with me. I lost an amazing man because of this … I was a horrible person to him. I am glad you are able to work this out with your partner.
wonder if this means I'd been hanging onto relationships that no longer serve my true self, because of my ego overcompensating for lack of self-acceptance, love, and compassion. Of course, I had to ask myself a few questions, but how eye-opening!
I have spent several years engaged with Non-duality, no me, Wholeness, no thing, Oneness, as offered by Tony Parsons & many speakers along with a history in Indian spiritual/mystical teachings, who/am i? & 12 step Recovery work re a very bad childhood with shamebased parents, so your teachings & pointers about the Ego are both familiar & also refreshing. Nonduality says that every (apparent) thing is complete, perfect & nothing is missing so there is nothing to teach or learn & everything is simply HAPPENING, with no one or thing doing it. I have had dramatic, mystical/magical experiences that came & then quickly went away, leaving me, the Ego, just as miserable & frightened or offensive as before the "SHIFT" from a troubled 'me' to something free & vast. I often wanted a method or practice to hold on to the astonishing shifts I've experienced over all these years now, Life has led this character to you & I'm pretty sure it's no accident. I am currently consumed with your videos & may join the Shift Society to finally "get there" (that's a joke). Thank you...❤
I usually see videos like these coming out of the East, not the West. Thank you for sharing. Thank you so much. This content is so pure. Thank you so much for sharing this. Thank you thank you thank you.
One of the best videos from your wonderful videos. Thank you very much. I love the idea to centre ourselves in authenticity with the four Cs: creativity, contribution, connection and cultivation. Beautiful. Thank you
Julia. This video was probably the most powerful and best tool i have been given to navigate my interactions with others! I try to always check my intention before interacting/responding, but i now have the gift of running through the 4 “P’s and C’s” to make sure i am coming from a place of authenticity and not from ego!!! SO THANKFUL!! I LOVE the tools you provide and the examples of how to use them!! Gotta become part of the shift society!! ❤️
Hi I m Tejaswini.. this is your first video that I m listening to... and it's great! Ego can also be seen as 'false self', as mentioned in "The Power of Now" and definitely it's opposed to the true self.. but identifying which is which in order to operate from authenticity is one of greatest challenges in life.. I m glad to have discovered Julia Kristina today, dec 19, 2020.. I m saying this even before finishing this video.. because I know her messages are great and delivery is clear, unambiguous!!
Thanks for this video. It is so clean and clear. It inspired me to change the mode of storytelling on my Instagram page. I had so many fears, because I started to create content out of my Ego. Now I want to start writing from my geniune self. Thanks for that
Wow! It hits me how much I was driven by my ego in almost every aspect of my life... I have a lot of work to do, but it's good to know where to start. Thank you!
On my healing journey and realizing how much ego I have. I do have lots of authentic self, but really need to trust and love myself more to let less ego in. Love this video.
Watching this video and listening just to add I don't have a ego though but I am always questioning and trying to find and understand myself who I really am
Wow. Def always trying to prove I'm smart enough. My negative inner voice is always calling me stupid anytime anything inconvenient happens. Good info. Thanks.
thank you !!! ❤ am in the middle of a messy separation and realising exactly how ego driven i am/ have been in my choices especially towards accepting that its ending.
I have eradicated the vast majority of my emotional problems the last two years due to meditation. The way it has done this strongly reinforces the points of this video.
I'm new to this channel, love the content and helpful and insightful information. Hope everyone is having a day full of love, interest, excitement, and of course happiness. My love radiates to you all.
Wow! The answer is yes to everything of the ego self, i have always felt that my way of thinking is coming from another direction than other people and i didn't knew how to put it out thier. Now i know how to work to improve on that! Thanks❤
this video is heaven sent im so glad I came across this! I'm in my mid twenties and I used to act so authentically but I started getting more and more depressed and super anxious. til it dawned on me that I have been acting out of pride/ego. especially in this day and age of social media everything is so curated! it's exhausting to always try to 'perform' to be liked or accepted or measure up to whoever. thank you for this video it reinforced and validated what I had just realized!
This is by far one of the best videos on this topic! Thank you for sharing Julia! I’m not sure if you have already, but if not, can you make a video about strategies to stay authentic in love when triggered? ❤
Thank you for this. I'm learning so much about myself through your videos. Again, thank you for sharing this information to people like me who have no access to such information.
Thank you for a brilliant insight into what actions are driven by ego and what keeps our communications and deeds clean as coming from our authentic self which is rooted in our self-trust. Self-trust is the key factor to authenticity. We must be gentle and patient with ourselves. Thank you again Julia.
Very helpful! It rang true on a number of points. I have some work now. I’ll take a look at your other videos. I’m trying to get through a dark night of the soul or shadow work and I’m stuck. It’s presented itself in sciatic pain and I know I’m fighting it. These points will help me look from a different angle. I appreciate sharing your gift to teach, and ability to give. Thank you!💗😁🙏❗️
For the last couple years, I’ve been on this path to understand ego more and practical ways in which to stop living in a personality my brain created to protect me and start living more authentically. In this video Julia was able to help me not only understand ego better, but she provided actual practical advice on how to identify ego. I am aware now that every time I am reacting by trying to prove, protect, perfect, or please someone I am leading with ego. Now that I can identify ego, I feel like the real work begins. Every now and then I come across information that truly helps me and this video really helped me. Thank you for living your purpose, Julia, I am grateful for you!
This is great. Very lucid. My own soul affirms what you are saying is true. Even though I have been doing inner work for 30 years, I still struggle in certain situations. I am a business executive at a large corporation. I lead a team of 20 scientists and engineers. When I chair meetings with my team, I am in with a room full of egos that lack self awareness....each one trying to get something for their own ego....mainly career advancement or recognition, or they think their idea is the best one and lengthy circular discussions ensue and quickly digress. Members attack each other intellectually. I consciously remove or subdue my ego before each meeting. This prevents me from getting defensive. I try to allow the best idea to win the table. I will submit myself and my team to the most junior member of the staff, provided their idea truly is the best and is supported by facts and evidence. You can always tell which egos in the room are running amok or acting purely from self interest; these people never back up their ideas with facts and evidence. This works for me. It's more complex for me because I am not only managing my own ego, but providing leadership and guidance for 20 other egos. It's mind twisting and soul wrenching. However, I trust that my soul and the Universe have me in this difficult situation for a growth opportunity. Thanks and great video!
Your videos are always so eye opening, it's good to reflect and grow as a person. I have been struggling so much with my anxiety and trying to reach the root of it is challenging. I needed this video today, I have been living with my ego and it's exhausting
I think you are so articulate & you explain messy concepts in such relatable ways. Your videos are really helping me on my journey to love myself after escaping physical abuse. You’re also *so* pretty & your hair & makeup are *always* flawless! Thank you for your channel & providing these much needed resources! 🏳️🌈😊☺️❤️
Ego or Hero!!! Thanks so much for this video! And for all your amazing videos. Personally, my first introduction to your therapy was when searching for self-sabotage solutions.
Thank you, this is an insightful view into my own internal dialogue which I now believe to be my ego. I have struggled for years on accepting who my authentic self is. Still lots of work to do. I realised recently that My Ego presents itself as being Subservient. I've always felt Inferior but in a useful capacity whether that be work, family or socially. Keep up the good work !!
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Hey you all, what was one of your biggest takeaways from this talk on Ego Self vs. True Self?
It's interesting that I think I knew all this pretty well, which improved my life so much over the last few years. But yesterday night I was processing a painful event of the day and for a few hours my ego prevailed and it was a firework of negative thoughts. I couldn't sleep so I looked at my phone and found your video, which reminded me of the right way to direct my thoughts and actions. So helpful, thank you!
So, my takeaway is that, once again, we can build and strengthen new synapses but the old ones are still there, a bit weakened but still there. So, we cannot stop working on ourselves!
Recalling different scenarios I can separate the P's from the C's in them.
The C's feel more comfortable while the P's Promote anxiety & stress!
So many times I think we operate on autopilot so this will help me in taking a step back to feel where I'm coming from.
That authenticity is hard to do when your self belief/confidence is shot
My True Self was with me when I was born & then the Ego took over. Thank you this reminded me of the true self hidden behind the shield. Vulnerable
How to identify ego ? 1. What can I prove ? 2. Am I trying to avoid feeling ? 3. Who do I try to please ? 4. What am I trying to create ? The four seeds for authenticity: 1) motivation: what to contribute, 2) how to connect and 3) what to cultivate in this life. I began to plant these seeds before I know this. Working as a university lecturer gives me a great platform to be the authentic self.
“Because we’re trying to protect ourselves from the reality of being imperfect.” THIS WAS NEEDED. It’s ok to not be perfect, no one is, and that’s ok.
Sh*t why we are all trying to be perfect
YES! Growth mindset.
Amen! Love this :)
In the Spirit, our eternal True Eternal Divine Presence we are perfect! When we identify as the temporal finite ego character we will suffer.. Our imperfect ego character we can find compassion and understanding for its ignorance, both mine & others.. learning to align our thoughts and feeling with our Higher Self🙏
@@flexsormusic6721
Because of shitty parents or shitty society standards etc
Ego is the shield from vulnerability but the antidote to authenticity. Such quality content 👌🏽
You put it so eloquently here
So Verry true !
Thankyou this was very helpful.
Yesss deff but the ego will be vulnerable when it okays the victim, but it's still about what's in it for me as opposed to surrendering to the Divine- how can I serve🙏
True and sad. The strength of the shield can be astounding.
Ego
1. What can I prove
2. What can I protect
3. What can I perfect
4. Who can I please
Authenticity
1. What can I create
2. What can I contribute
3. How can I connect
4. What can I cultivate
“Who can I please?” Oh yeah. That’s a biggie!😊
Human nature is based on the image of God (God is love) and is the most authentic way of living because he is the pattern of our identity.
The reason we need to avoid seeking to prove, protect, perfect or please in our human relationships is because we are only doing it to “get love.”
But seeking to create, contribute, connect, and cultivate are the behaviors of God, and on a personality level, this is what it looks like to “be in God’s image”
Thank you
Thank you
Ego 4 Ps
Prove, protect, perfect, please
Authenticity 4 Cs
Create, contribute, connect, cultivate
This threw me for a loop when you said that people pleasing is about ego. I always viewed my people pleasing as coming simply from wanting to be accepted but...it makes perfect sense. When I am people pleasing I am not being who I really am. Thanks 😊
Thanks Julia for your insights on the ego and authenticity . Your message for me today was very clear and connecting. A wonderful connection .
Sorry I meant to say wonderful contribution .
I battle with my ego a lot , just to stay humble and balanced , great lesson !!! awesome channel !!!!!!
2 minutes in and you’ve already explained the ego that makes sense! This is why our instinct is to protect and avoid pain…it’s the ego self👏🏼
I always feel like i'm not interesting enough and that I never fit in enough so I'm always trying to connect with other people's emotions by pleasing them and even by victimising myself sometimes...
Thanks this video really helps ❤ its amazing how much better I feel when I stop trying and when I tell myself I'm enough. Suddenly I don't feel the need of having this one person that it's going to make me feel ok with myself always, I can do it myself, and that way I'm a much better friend
Script : ego based action, choice:
1.what can i prove?
2. What can I protect?
3. What can I perfect?
4. Who can i please?
5. How am i performing?
3 c's of authenticity
1. What can I create ( meaningfull, valuable, gifts, talents) ?
2. What can I contribute? (Authenticity, kindness,love motivation, gifts, talents) as a genuine extention of ourselves
3. How can I connect? (Instead of divide, communicate, show up in authenticity)
4. What can I cultivate? (Build and grow, experience in this life ? To contribute for this world)
My ego has helped me stay alive while climbing mountains and take risky expeditions for the past 30 years. It has never helped me obtain good life or a partner, bc he's a sneaky bastard and wants it all!! The video exposes all my behaviors that are wrong! Thanks for this! almost too late but I will try my best! Thanks for this video, you have a great smile!
Ego Challenges at 51 oldest son and seeking breaking Stuck Ego Expectency... Trying to protect yet prevents self... I Love It!
Are you kidding, you just single-handedly gave me all of the tools that I needed. You are single-handedly going to change my whole life, my relationships and best yet save me from myself. My first search, my first video and you blew it out of the park. I am so grateful for you 😢. You don't even know it.
Hi I'm Brian.. I've just very recently become aware of what a huge problem ego has been my whole life.. it is my goal to be my true self and to represent my true self.
Wow- I been living in the Ego majority of my time- Much appreciated for the explination, I see
This should be mandatory viewing for everyone
I am feeling so happy to be back. Set in my intention to breakthrough and be my best self🙏🏽🌱
EGO:
What can I prove ?
What can I protect ?
What can I perfect ?
Who can I please?
Authenticity:
What can I create ?
What can I contribute ?
How can I connect ?
What can I cultivate ?
Thank you so much 💚💚💚
Thank you 👍
Thanks appreciated.
I am a people pleaser.
I lost an amazing man because of ego. When things started changing for him, I took it all personal. I acted to out of line. I hurt him and damaged the most beautiful relationship I have ever had.
Thank you for this.
When you start experiencing instead of intellectually living, your in authentic ways of yourself. Surrendering to the unknown and living day by day with no worries of the past and no anxiety of the future, just experiencing the present, just the present.
Ohh my good lord. How did I only meet you today? Wish I could subscribe 10 times. Thanks so very much. I work with children and teenagers and I can promise you I will be using these 4 Ps and 4 Cs to motivate and empower my, community, young people and families as much as you have empowered me with your words. Thanks 😊
I am in the process of mentally beating my ego to death. Your ego will ALWAYS find ways of sabotaging your desires, and to try to tell you you're not good enough or not worthy, because it doesn't want to give you permission to take risks that go along with inner growth.
This is a DAMN GOOD video!
I see you doing the work, John - and just a reminder that there's no need to beat up the ego - just notice and observe it and then make a conscious choice that is authenticity-based instead.
Yessss!! Some people call the ego the inner child. When I talk to my inner child in a loving and compassionate way instead of a critical way, it changes everything!! It makes me feel lighter and more optimistic! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. Thank you Julia Kristina!!! This is a very good video!!!! I hope you and your family have safe and happy holidays!!!🎄🎁❤️
Often I do not realise that my ego is overriding me . I sometimes mistake it for intuition. it's tricky to know where is this coming from. I have to start checking my inner voice and finding out if it is preventing me from authentic decisions. Tks 🙏
Ego finds ways to sabotage your desires? NO its your ego that desires those things in the first place, all your desires stem from ego, even the seemingly 'good' desires are done in order for temporary pleasure for your ego which keeps you away from your real self.
"try to tell you're not worthy?" yes because your ego benefits from that too, your mind likes telling itself that it's not deserving or worthy to keep you distracted.
"inner growth" is another concept of your ego, you strengthen your ego by 'improving yourself' because you think you are a better version of yourself, until a crisis hits you and you react in the same old ways, if you don't then yeah you've actually stumbled upon something genuine.
This is one that has taken me so long to understand. I just turned 47 yesterday. My hope is my own children will learn this earlier than I have! It feels so exhausting when we are not genuine! Am I sensitive, do I cry more than maybe most? Yes! LOL That’s just me! Happy, sad, frustrated, when in pain and when I’m grateful! I cry! LOL I was ashamed of things like this because I felt so different. But my connection to my loved ones has deepened! They are more meaningful now that I’ve practiced what you’ve been teaching! I’m so very grateful for you and feel excited to keep breaking through and just love life! If we are made to have joy as I believe we all deserve this! You make perfect sense! Thank you! 🤗👍🏻❤️👏🏻👌🏻
The 4Ps work perfectly. I realized that my ego shows up invariably when somebody makes me wait. I am trying to protect myself from the feeling of unworthiness. This knowledge is changing my life. Thank you and keep up the good work!
Getting curious has been big for me. I encourage anyone to do this. It’s a total shift in energy....
Really well explained. As you say we all have an ego, the trick is to become aware when it comes into play. Then the difficult part is learning how to deal or respond to a situation in an adult mature balanced way.
Grateful to have found you/here this day.
" I am not enough" ... a good Mom to my only son who lost his Daddy in 2012. My ego lashes out when he does not act in the way my ego expects! I am here for serious Counseling thank you for being here for me!
Prove, protect, perfect and who can I please. So powerful
I was a people pleaser. The problem i had was when I stopped focusing on others as much, I felt more anxiety and thought people would notice the change in me and would think something was wrong. I felt better when I gradually phased it out to a point where I WANTED to do things for people rather than all the time. I personally have always had problems with what others think of me, its very tiring. I'm glad I became aware and am now watching a lot of these types of videos to learn about my authentic self. I'm desperate to live my genuine authentic self, at 37 years old I've got time to live my life over again and see the world and people through new eyes. Thank god for videos like these, I mean who else teaches us this stuff? That's a genuine question btw
I like the way you put this. Being a people pleaser, I guess I never thought of it as.... actually doing things for others because you are trying to please them vrs. genuinely WANTING to do things for others. I guess where you have to draw the line is....realizing if you are doing it out of pleasing or not. Right? People actually WONT notice the change that you are helping others more genially because thats actually....normal? The anxiety of people pleasing is all in your mind.
Totally relate and I’m 20 , you got this babe !!!
@@RootedinClarity what a beautiful thing to say, thankyou 💖
Hi I like the Holistic Psychologist, Gabor mate, and Patrick Teahan LICSW (all on TH-cam) for more psychological info, support, and help
Watch thewizardliz she will help you❤️
Thank you! My therapist used the term "self-acceptance" this week and I've been trying to work out and understand what that is. This was helpful.
This is why I have trouble communicating wish someone I’m in a relationship with because I’m afraid of rejection
Word it’s like I’m trying to say all the ryt words no words 😶 come out 🤦🏿♂️
Same.
Same!!!
This information was well presented. This world is mostly trauma based that leads to being ego driven for "self protection" clearly represented in the music being hailed today.Traits like being understanding and compassionate are going out the door,To truly learn and perform without engaging in a condrontational or aggressive behaviour one has to incorporate what was presentented here today. Very easy to digest and helpful. Thank you for sharing
So true. Great point
This was really profound and directly relates to something that I have been struggling with. I am going to listen to this many more times.
Julia Kristina canceling. Important and good advice video thanks for shareing
The ego attaches to things, beliefs, people thoughts etc. The self observes, it is free of attachment.
The ego has many opinions, the true self just is.
Meditation helps with this dissolving of ego and becoming present and none attached. It takes some time to get used to and ego will sneak back on a regular basis. The ego does not want to die so it fights on the way out. My "Dark Night of the Soul" lasted about six years as ego was being stripped away (and still is). It was my encounter with a Narcissist that catalyzed this.
Prove, Protect, Perfect, Please - if you unpack these you will notice attachment to a belief about yourself. One that was likely given to you when you were a child, it served you then to stay safe. For example we said "yes" to a parent so we could get love (or what passed for love) even if we did not agree with what the parent said or did. Ego is birthed in these moments.
I spoke to my friend last night that is enneagram 1 Perfectionistic. I mentioned to her the way out, that she is lovable even if she is not perfect. Embrace imperfection in yourself and others. We are all working on receiving of love including our own love and that is something (my) ego rejects as it is still attached to a false belief.
I could discuss this for many more paragraphs as it has been something I have been working on for several years now. Still trying to understand the golden shadow and allow it to find me.
Found this because of Thomas Merton. Trying to search for the deep Self. In recovery from Addiction and a traumatic brain injury as a direct result. My true Self has been blotted out by my pasts guise of Booze and Use and coupled along side a TBI, I dont know who I am but getting a better idea each day at a time. Thank you so much for this!
Alright, it’s been about two weeks since I first watched this video and it has had a very positive affect on my relationship. On a number of occasions, I’ve asked myself one of the “four c’s” questions. In the midst of a challenging moment with my husband, I did a quick “self check” to choose my behavior, either ego or authenticity. For example, I asked myself, “If I turn away now, isn’t that just a defense mechanism (ego)?” and “How can I truly connect with him right now, even though we’re both triggered?” I was thrilled to discover that I was able to use your four c’s with great results. I reframed the situation and was able to choose healthier behaviors. Thank you so much for this video.
This is such a beautiful testimony! I am soo proud of you as you should be of yourself! Huge step to take!❤
Watching this video and listening to your words made me realize how far I‘ve come. I‘m so proud of myself 🥺 BUT it is so frustrating dealing with Ego driven people. Conversations are so meaningless, controversies so useless and lead to nowhere. I wished there were more awakened authentic people around. How much more beautiful and peaceful and calm this world would be! Imagine politicians being authentic and not Ego driven. Just think about it for a sec... Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and healing presented so calmly - and explained so clearly. I’m always taking something from it. I appreciate you 💙
I wonder if politicians were forced to walk in the building naked not just one but all of them if it would force them to think more authentically, and not be so embarrassed about even the little things of human beings, what are they protecting by wearing clothes? Scared to be judged.. what do they have to prove by taking a stance on why it should be this way and not that way. where if they just allowed it to be the way it is we would not need police running the streets always strung up with fear like frogs with firecrackers waiting to go off in their asses on enforcing laws onto people who they have the preconceived notion and manipulated thoughts into labels that they are “bad” unless you witness something that genuinely makes you feel bad then perhaps it is but it’s important to not follow the leader or the Hurd and take suggestions as absolute orders you must follow. And police are just one example of a fear based group infact gangs state they are afraid of the police but are afraid of being killed or enslaved, police are afraid of gangs for being raped (hehe) or killed, most people fear death and they allow that to dictate their actions rather than fearing suffering a miserable controlled life and letting their genuine self of love happiness and virtue shine through in even the most disillusioned fear based realities. You may try and change physical energy but if your energy is weak or low vibrational all things that are nice in this world will pick up on that and run somewhere else, it’s only when you align your faith and believes to yourself to guide you that sets you free in this world, live life in wonder and never had a depressed day, live life in sovereignty and let everyone rule your emotions and physical body.
I felt similarly to the way you did. I felt that I was surrounded by quite a few toxic people and I would try to pass on the valuable lessons on mindfulness that I'd learnt but still I felt at odds with them. Eventually I realised that I still had a lot to learn because despite becoming self aware and learning everything I could on personal growth, I was still allowing people into my life who were not emotionally healthy and could bring me down quite often and thus stunted my growth. In fact I could argue that my ego was still a negative presence in my life because I chose to hang out with these people and probably enjoyed feeling like I was above them (emotionally speaking) because I felt I had some authority over them. If anything it has made me think very carefully about my reasons for the things I do and the people I accept into my life, and to consider if I may have any ulterior motives.
I feel dumb not even knowing about or understanding ego and I am almost 40 years old. I was bringing negativity into my relationship and I didn't even realize it was my ego. Since looking into this, I have learned that it's ok to be flawed and not perfect. I don't need to have all the answers and that I will be loved for who I am. I realized my ego was preventing me from admitting I was wrong by trying to explain myself for being wrong or not knowing something. It seemed innocent enough but it is an act of lying and dishonesty. Being wrong or not knowing something is OK.
Also, I realized my ego was causing me to be more defensive than I needed to be. This was because my ego was telling me that I had a right to be defensive and I didn't take into account what I may have done or if my expectations for the situation were wrong or if I was interpreting the situation incorrectly. Also, my ego was not living in the present but in the past or the future and acting out of past experiences and of fear of future unknown outcomes. When I realized that my feelings and my ego were connected, a lightbulb came on.
I have lots to work on but being new to the concept of ego, it is causing me to look at things so much differently. I vow to be more present and live in the present. And to be mindful of being myself, my true self, and to check my ego and try to put it away. For I do not need to be scared of expressing my feelings or showing my true self, my partner loves me for me. She is a wonderful human and I wish I had known all this sooner. She has opened my eyes to be my better self.
I appreciate videos like these to help me to be a better me. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing this.
All of this resonates with me.
I lost an amazing man because of this … I was a horrible person to him. I am glad you are able to work this out with your partner.
I have built my TH-cam Channel on the 3 C’s which are creativity, connection, and compassion
proving, perfecting, protecting, and pleasing are all that I am made of. can't wait for your response!!
Hi I am Margaret Lloyd, getting my life back together after 38yrs of marriage and abuse
wonder if this means I'd been hanging onto relationships that no longer serve my true self, because of my ego overcompensating for lack of self-acceptance, love, and compassion. Of course, I had to ask myself a few questions, but how eye-opening!
I have spent several years engaged with Non-duality, no me, Wholeness, no thing, Oneness, as offered by Tony Parsons & many speakers along with a history in Indian spiritual/mystical teachings, who/am i? & 12 step Recovery work re a very bad childhood with shamebased parents, so your teachings & pointers about the Ego are both familiar & also refreshing. Nonduality says that every (apparent) thing is complete, perfect & nothing is missing so there is nothing to teach or learn & everything is simply HAPPENING, with no one or thing doing it. I have had dramatic, mystical/magical experiences that came & then quickly went away, leaving me, the Ego, just as miserable & frightened or offensive as before the "SHIFT" from a troubled 'me' to something free & vast. I often wanted a method or practice to hold on to the astonishing shifts I've experienced over all these years now, Life has led this character to you & I'm pretty sure it's no accident. I am currently consumed with your videos & may join the Shift Society to finally "get there" (that's a joke). Thank you...❤
This is one of the best videos I've ever seen. Thank you so much for this.
This is so good for me now I notice all my life I was a people pleaser. I hope I can cultivate and grow from this failure of my life.
Thank you Julia,well said.a very simple explanation and well profound.its a great help for me.
I usually see videos like these coming out of the East, not the West. Thank you for sharing. Thank you so much. This content is so pure. Thank you so much for sharing this. Thank you thank you thank you.
One of the best videos from your wonderful videos. Thank you very much. I love the idea to centre ourselves in authenticity with the four Cs: creativity, contribution, connection and cultivation. Beautiful. Thank you
Julia. This video was probably the most powerful and best tool i have been given to navigate my interactions with others! I try to always check my intention before interacting/responding, but i now have the gift of running through the 4 “P’s and C’s” to make sure i am coming from a place of authenticity and not from ego!!! SO THANKFUL!! I LOVE the tools you provide and the examples of how to use them!! Gotta become part of the shift society!! ❤️
Thank you for clearly differentiating between ego and authentic self. And the 4 Ps and 4 Cs . 😊
Hi I m Tejaswini.. this is your first video that I m listening to... and it's great! Ego can also be seen as 'false self', as mentioned in "The Power of Now" and definitely it's opposed to the true self.. but identifying which is which in order to operate from authenticity is one of greatest challenges in life..
I m glad to have discovered Julia Kristina today, dec 19, 2020.. I m saying this even before finishing this video.. because I know her messages are great and delivery is clear, unambiguous!!
Thanks for this video. It is so clean and clear. It inspired me to change the mode of storytelling on my Instagram page. I had so many fears, because I started to create content out of my Ego. Now I want to start writing from my geniune self. Thanks for that
Wow! It hits me how much I was driven by my ego in almost every aspect of my life... I have a lot of work to do, but it's good to know where to start. Thank you!
This is the most practical contents about the ego vs intuition. So helpful. Thanks a lot Julia!!
On my healing journey and realizing how much ego I have. I do have lots of authentic self, but really need to trust and love myself more to let less ego in. Love this video.
I wanna thank U because you talk in a simple, not-confusing way, and i get what you mean
I'm so glad my content connects in a clear way! Thanks for letting me know.
Very needed.. I will watch/listen again later today. Something that needs more than a one off. Thank you.
It's a deep one and a lot to take in all at once. Really glad it connected Gillian.
Watching this video and listening just to add I don't have a ego though but I am always questioning and trying to find and understand myself who I really am
This video is a true gem, in terms of reflecting on our adult development.
Wow. Def always trying to prove I'm smart enough. My negative inner voice is always calling me stupid anytime anything inconvenient happens. Good info. Thanks.
Thanking you from the heart❤️
Cristina muchas gracias por tu generosidad! Blessings
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 The ego is our weak side. Our mortality. The true self is our real power. Our eternity.
Thank you for this clear distinction between ego and true self.
thank you !!! ❤ am in the middle of a messy separation and realising exactly how ego driven i am/ have been in my choices especially towards accepting that its ending.
You are a gem Julia, wise and humble at the same time... That´s a gift.
I have eradicated the vast majority of my emotional problems the last two years due to meditation. The way it has done this strongly reinforces the points of this video.
I'm new to this channel, love the content and helpful and insightful information. Hope everyone is having a day full of love, interest, excitement, and of course happiness. My love radiates to you all.
Never realized how engrained ego and it's workings run through me. I have a lot to learn but I'm glad I found you . Thank you for the enlightenment
Wow! The answer is yes to everything of the ego self, i have always felt that my way of thinking is coming from another direction than other people and i didn't knew how to put it out thier. Now i know how to work to improve on that! Thanks❤
this video is heaven sent im so glad I came across this! I'm in my mid twenties and I used to act so authentically but I started getting more and more depressed and super anxious. til it dawned on me that I have been acting out of pride/ego. especially in this day and age of social media everything is so curated! it's exhausting to always try to 'perform' to be liked or accepted or measure up to whoever. thank you for this video it reinforced and validated what I had just realized!
This is the best video that explains the ego and how to recognize it !!
This is by far one of the best videos on this topic! Thank you for sharing Julia! I’m not sure if you have already, but if not, can you make a video about strategies to stay authentic in love when triggered? ❤
Impressive articulation.❤
Thank you
Thank you for this. I'm learning so much about myself through your videos. Again, thank you for sharing this information to people like me who have no access to such information.
I needed to to watch this video. It's been an eye opener. Thank you
Thank you! This is beautiful and so helpful. I'm so very grateful for your contributions to our world.
This has come at just the right time for me, thank you Julia😊
thank you. please dont stop posting.
Thank you for a brilliant insight into what actions are driven by ego and what keeps our communications and deeds clean as coming from our authentic self which is rooted in our self-trust. Self-trust is the key factor to authenticity. We must be gentle and patient with ourselves. Thank you again Julia.
Very helpful! It rang true on a number of points. I have some work now. I’ll take a look at your other videos. I’m trying to get through a dark night of the soul or shadow work and I’m stuck. It’s presented itself in sciatic pain and I know I’m fighting it. These points will help me look from a different angle. I appreciate sharing your gift to teach, and ability to give. Thank you!💗😁🙏❗️
I thought I knew the difference... however I needed some extra clarity apparently! Thank you!!
This finally makes its clear to me, thank you so much!
I'm glad to be here! Thank you for this content!
Thank you for this . Im currently reading and doing the lessons in A course in miracles. ❤
For the last couple years, I’ve been on this path to understand ego more and practical ways in which to stop living in a personality my brain created to protect me and start living more authentically. In this video Julia was able to help me not only understand ego better, but she provided actual practical advice on how to identify ego. I am aware now that every time I am reacting by trying to prove, protect, perfect, or please someone I am leading with ego. Now that I can identify ego, I feel like the real work begins. Every now and then I come across information that truly helps me and this video really helped me.
Thank you for living your purpose, Julia, I am grateful for you!
This is exactly what I have been thinking about, and you gave me information I was looking for. Thank you, Julia.
So glad we're on the same page Christopher.
This is one of the parts of Freudian Psychoanalysis that I have always believed in
This is great. Very lucid. My own soul affirms what you are saying is true. Even though I have been doing inner work for 30 years, I still struggle in certain situations. I am a business executive at a large corporation. I lead a team of 20 scientists and engineers. When I chair meetings with my team, I am in with a room full of egos that lack self awareness....each one trying to get something for their own ego....mainly career advancement or recognition, or they think their idea is the best one and lengthy circular discussions ensue and quickly digress. Members attack each other intellectually. I consciously remove or subdue my ego before each meeting. This prevents me from getting defensive. I try to allow the best idea to win the table. I will submit myself and my team to the most junior member of the staff, provided their idea truly is the best and is supported by facts and evidence. You can always tell which egos in the room are running amok or acting purely from self interest; these people never back up their ideas with facts and evidence. This works for me. It's more complex for me because I am not only managing my own ego, but providing leadership and guidance for 20 other egos. It's mind twisting and soul wrenching. However, I trust that my soul and the Universe have me in this difficult situation for a growth opportunity. Thanks and great video!
Your videos are always so eye opening, it's good to reflect and grow as a person. I have been struggling so much with my anxiety and trying to reach the root of it is challenging. I needed this video today, I have been living with my ego and it's exhausting
Gosh this is good. Looks like I am discovering myself. And thanks for the final reminder! Kind to yourself!
I think you are so articulate & you explain messy concepts in such relatable ways. Your videos are really helping me on my journey to love myself after escaping physical abuse. You’re also *so* pretty & your hair & makeup are *always* flawless! Thank you for your channel & providing these much needed resources! 🏳️🌈😊☺️❤️
Great video✨ Exactly what I was seeking to find. I am a better today than I was just 18 minutes ago. I owe it all to you. Gratitude🙏🏾
I had no idea how badly I needed you in my life.
I get so many aha moments when I listen to you! Thank you 🙏
Hi . You are wonderful! Thank you a lot for what your doing.
Hi Julia, I'm Lucia from Johannesburg, South Africa. Thank you very much for your videos. I have learnt so much. It all makes sense now. Thank you!
Ego or Hero!!! Thanks so much for this video! And for all your amazing videos. Personally, my first introduction to your therapy was when searching for self-sabotage solutions.
Thank you, this is an insightful view into my own internal dialogue which I now believe to be my ego. I have struggled for years on accepting who my authentic self is. Still lots of work to do. I realised recently that My Ego presents itself as being Subservient. I've always felt Inferior but in a useful capacity whether that be work, family or socially. Keep up the good work !!
Seeminingly difficult topics (E&AS) but great explanations. Well done!
This is so wonderfully communicated. Thank you.