10 Things That Will Get Better When You Love Yourself
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ก.พ. 2021
- Our lack of self-love and self acceptance are at the root of many of our biggest struggles. Which means that once you start loving yourself more, a whole lot of other things will get better in your life too. Here are a list of several things that will improve when you love yourself.
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#selflove #feelinggood #selfconfidence
Retired a year ago. My philosophy now is that I no longer put up with people's crap. After many years of dealing with narcissists, I only give my time and attention to people who can give mutual respect. Time is too short, and none of us know how much time we have left. ❤
If you are reading this I just want to say that in no way are you not valuable or loved.
Truth.
Thank You
I want to live single and build myself up work on me than once my life is stable and grounded I really want the right woman to come into my life as just a friend cause relationships are based off of friendship I have morals like not having sex until after im married I want to have a pure relationship with a woman.
I want to obey God's commandments and live pure.
Thank you 🙏
I always like to tell people to treat themselves like they would a good friend or loved one. Often times, we hold ourselves to such a high standard that we fail to show ourselves the same kind of love.
mmmm... so true.
Such a profound thought to ponder, Nicole. My most recent breakup built me up...not down. It took me time to realize this fact. At first I forced myself to treat the self with such high standards. I struggled at first. Yet it numbed the hurting in my heart. Then I challenged myself to create art I only dreamed of creating. I didn’t believe I could achieve such a creative challenge. But this was a test of, my ability to CHANGE my way of being and how I see myself. If I can accomplish what I deem to be impossible, i empower myself to confront self conflict with knowing I have the power and ability to think differently and more positively about myself. Thank you for your thoughts that have filled my spirit with such encouragement, Nicole.
@@Inkironnrum and thanks for sharing, David! Happy to hear your art is going well.
@@nicoleonfeels Welcome, Nicole! Your kind thoughts truly uplift one’s spirit.
That’s really good advice Nicole thanx
I use to make excuses for bad behaviour because I didn't love myself. Now I love myself I don"t take any bad behaviour.
I need to build a good, strong relationship with myself. Growing up I was always told I'm not good, I won't amount to anything. And that has stuck with me into adulthood.
I feel like this is true for nearly everyone ---if we are honest---just that the shame and blame and bullying varies in intensity and whether or not we also had people building us up or not too
You are so incredibly capable and its never too late to start. You are cool man you are cool
@@jmm639aw ❤❤
When i started to love my self a lot of one sided and narc relationships faded away
Me too!
Same
How do you do it
💯💯💯
💯❤️🙏🏽
Being so hard on myself for making mistakes. I wasn't always this way.
Can you work on going back to being kinder to yourself?
I'm here so no narcs can ever get near again. I want to learn about myself and others. There are so many manipulative people
Sometimes i hate the youtube algorithm but right now i love it because it brought me to you. Hi everyone, i am 56 yo and have been on a self esteem journey like forever. Love from new england. THANK YOU!!!
Hey! Welcome here. So glad you found us.
Planet C64,You deserve better
I can relate... feels like a lifelong battle
Julia you are GEM. 60 yrs old and I needed this. I wish I knew this in my 40s-50s. But now is also great to know
so good that you know it now ❤️
It’s never too late I would say ;-))
This comment by itself motivational
Im in my 50s now andI wish knew this in my teens :)
The fighting to be loved hit me hard. I think Im always trying to get people to like me and want them to love me.
You're always with yourself, so you might as well Love You .❤❤❤
"There's a difference between fighting for love and fighting to be loved."-Julia Kristina
make sure you know which one you're doing.
How good is that one. Hunna remember that one for a loooong time
Thank you so much for doing these videos. They are so very helpful and enlightening ❤
Struggling with end of relationship realise I have totally lost myself. Busy mum and doctor spend all my time caring for others including my recent boyfriend.
I’m going to try to find me and focus on her.
Thank you x
Ohhh good one.
Context: You're the only person that has to live with you from birth to death. The root of many issues is in our lack of self-love and self-acceptance
1. Taking things less personally - We think someone's words or actions mean more than what we think about ourselves
2. Overthinking - it's putting our self worth in the hands of other peoples ideas. When we are solid we don't need to outsource that.
3. Stressing about what other people think about you - We worry about what others think about us when we are unsure of what we think about ourselves
4. Over-justifying your decisions - We over-justify to control other's thoughts about it. We need them to see it our way for us to feel good about it.
5. Stressing about making the wrong decisions - It's less about making a mistake than what it means about us
6. Needing to be right/people to agree - When we need to be right we need others to see something about us. When we don't doubt ourselves it's okay if other's don't agree.
Interjection: Ego. Our made up sense of self there to protect our authentic self. It's nice when people agree but the ego will make us "have" to be right.
7. Fearing making mistakes - Isn't about the outcome, it's about what we make it mean about you. You fear beating yourself up not the misfortune
8. Fighting for acceptance - How often to find yourself convincing people that you are good enough. Fighting for love, not fighting to be loved
20:12 so crucial in knowing to throw in towel with relationship that is very mistreating even though they say and act like love you, if there's a lot done and said to disrespect and disregard your feelings for feeling worthy enough then thats not loving to yourself no matter how they try to make up for it, thats not real love its toxic and taking you for granted.
AMEN --and where im at
Preach!
When we speculate on what people think of us. Im guilty of that one. Starting to build a more solid relationship with myself!
The truth is the more you do it, the more real it becomes. Confidence is really like a muscle, the more you work it, the stronger it becomes. The less important you allow people's thoughts to become, the more people just fade away into the background. Its amazing
YES
I spend a little time each day on myself and usually a portion of that time is spent watching and listening and learning from Julia Kristina Life Coach. I enjoy her upbeat approach and the look of the vids ( call it modern noire) and I often look at Julia while listening to her and it feels personalized. Her approach and the important information she shares has helped me tremendously especially lately. It's helpes me to identify things that I need to work on. And to understand others around me and identity how to react or respond to them and their actions. Keep up the intensity your passion comes across during every presentation I've watched. Thank You, Daniel T
So happy to hear it.
@@juliakristinamah
Dear julia.i don't have a problem loving me.
I just wished someone else did.lol praying for a Godly spouse.i know have enough love to go around.the Lord.me and her.promise.in Jesus name bless you sweetheart.🙏🌹🙏
Things that will get better when I love myself more: health, relationships, job prospects, home environment, skin, worldview, achievements, friendships, attitude, money management. Now to watch the video and see what you said!
Julia--Thank you so much! This needs to be taught in homes, schools, temples and places of worship. When you fill your own bucket of self-love, then you're ok to pour love into other people's bucket and you also make room for people to pour into yours. To anyone reading this, I hope you have a wonderful, peace-filled day!!
I used to overthink everything. This was largely because I was in a relationship that made me feel less of myself. I was never told that I'm loved, comforted, appreciated and also always second guessed myself. Even when I left the relationship because it was clear that it wasn't good enough, I still thought I did the wrong thing and that I've hurt him. But I asked myself what about all the things he did to hurt me, whatabout my joy and my mental stability which was always disturbed? I think I didn't love myself enough to even believe that a good decision I took.
I beat myself
Absolutely true. Couldn't have said it better.
You know,your exactly 💯 right,we have been programmed to rob ourselves of positive thoughts and experiences, but alot of people are evil with hidden agenda ,i am glad to be able to listen to your teachings
I love the way you explain things. It's simple but yet sophisticated. You relate to people.
My uncle sent me here-now that’s love ❤️
Wow! This is so true. I’m so dependent on approval. Then take it personally when I don’t get the approval. I approve of me already. It’s meaningful to be reminded.
And Julia, I love the way you pause and take deep breaths. I love that and it helps me feel confident in what you’re saying. Thank you for being you! Appreciate! 🙏🦋
thanks Victoria - and thank YOU for being YOU!
Fighting to be loved, want to be loved, I've recognized the real thing too. So I need to work on this one. People Pleaser deluxe.
I am working on that too
Sometimes in life we are so busy looking after everyone else, we forget about ourselves. You have to look after yourself ,nobody else will
soo grateful i found this channel!
i'm ila, currently a sophomore, who recently trying to investing on self-love this past months.. because how much pain i caused for going the other way. it really sucks that the environment i'm in have people-pleasing tendencies, but i don't feel alone for bravely taking this decision, i have myself.
finally breathe out after my lungs were drenched in sorrow for too long might be the best thing that ever happen to me. one year ago, you can find me in the backseat, avoiding interactions yet overly pleasing people.. only for shitty treatments (mostly from myself). i had no idea how toxic i was, and isolating myself like that wouldn't change anything. and like what this video said, the root of my problems were lack of self-respect.
this video explained my changes after growing to love myself well. i trust myself with my own beliefs, abundance, opinions, and self identity, therefore everything feels less personal to me. if there's different opinions, i take it with a grain of salt aka respecting it without thinking mine is way low than that. i also grow to know the essence of mistakes.. it's not something to avoid but to handle with full responsibility.
these healthy responses are what i must do for so long. atleast i finally learned how to do this, even with the hard way. i'm so grateful and will always thrive to grow positively more, together with myself!
These ten things are consistent with your own boundaries. That's what's good about them.
fear of making mistakes resonated the most!👌
definitely fighting to be loved but fighting for love from myself
Julia, your weekly videos are like balm for the soul 😊
Glad they connect - thanks for being here.
This was an excellent video very informative I spent 36 years in a marriage riddled with intimacy issues on my husband’s part due to his childhood trauma I did everything to be the perfect wife to no avail as through therapy after he passed in ‘22 I learned he had Madonna complex after getting over that shock I realized I needed to take a look at all my relationships and why I chose ones that were not on equal footing I do have some great friends but also some that weren’t healthy. Your video sheds light on how we think about ourselves I’ve always been a confident person but a lot of what you said I could relate to fear of failure and over thinking things were my two biggest thank you you’re an incredible therapist
Really wonderful work and free to the public. She's gold
Glad you're here.
I listen to you every morning, you are a true blessing!
Key point: If one is sure of himself/herself, then why is there a need to justify it to someone else, especially when the decision does not impact the other person. Great!
TRUST IS THE KEY! Trusting yourself and later acquiring the ability to slowly start trusting others is the fundamental basis of a healthy relationship with yourself and consequently with other people. This message is POWER! Thank you Julia.
when you said fighting for acceptance it made me cry, hit me right in the heart..
I started watching you two years ago after getting out of a bad relationship. Throughout this time I’ve identified traumas & struggles I weren’t even aware of and today I can say I’m in a much better position than I was then. Thank you for the work that you do! It’s changing our lives❤️
I love her guidance.
There is a difference between fighting for love and fighting to be loved!!!
This is one of the many amazing video updates that i automatically clicked thumb up too fast even before watching it.
Ha! Love it. Thanks for all your support.
Hi I'm code and this video came to me not a day too soon . Like the universe showed me this . I'm on disability and have a hard time with everything in this video . Facing adversity of homelessness and the next obstacle in my life like having a job for a first time and a long time. Believing that I love and accept myself is such a foreign language. Something I battle with everyday . Ty for the vid
I think loving yourself is also loving others. It isnt fair to family and friends for us to outsource our worth and self esteem to them.
Agreed. The more we love ourselves, the more love we have to give to others.
Don't love anyone more than you should love yourself. Put yourself first across the board. Be kind with you, stroke your soul, listen to God's voice and not the ego's one. Be airy, be etherical, be bold, be playful.
You live once therefore don't worry too much about what the others could think about you because who are they? More than you? Certainely not. Let your soul expresses loudly within you unapologetically
ida loup,You must be a precious being
Easier said than done
Love your videos love watching them.i learnt many things I never thought of. When I have had bad days your videos so inspiring. I love how it's clear and so easy to understand. You inspired me through rough times and opened my eyes threw my weakness. Thank you
I took the boundaries course a while ago and it just hit me. In order to set better boundaries I needed to get better at liking myself. It sounds obvious, but these layers keep getting revealed! Thank you! I always love your videos! ❤️
I didn’t have friends as a kid. I fought to be loved. I want friends now. I do realize that first I could be my own friend. I want to know how. I remember about 40 years ago I read a book “How to be your own best friend”. It is finally the number one priority in my life
I have just started listening and she is awesome. I have a lot of trauma I life lately, my fiancee and my daughter's father killed himself 2 weeks ago. I needed this
You speak and teach so clear. I understand you easily since my English is not on high the level. So you are great and wise. I want to watch all your videos. You answered my prayer. I have been saying yes for many many years but now I say no when I need to. I also try to be a nice nice to others but I get angry or worried because they do not treat me the same. Before I started watching your videos I wanted to make a full stop in my life and figure out what is wrong. I pray a lot to Jesus and I found my answer which is you. So what I started some months ago you are confirming that I am on the right road but you are making it more clear to me to see better. I thank you for these videos that you are sharing. I love them. May God bless you more and more Julia.
"When" we start to love ourselves. Problem is getting to the "when". Might as well ask me to change the color of my eyes!
Yes, it is a process and does take work.
I'm sure there are other examples of that feeling of impossibility you're describing in your life, where you now just breeze right through it it without thinking about it.
I'm telling you this partly to tell myself it, too, btw. My brain will come up with examples as I catch myself effortlessly doing something I used to think was not possible for me.
Exactly
When begins when you decide to you need do the work. Saying this from experience. Still a long way to go. I wish you well.
@@nancymasuda9717 I'm certain you're correct, but being retired and on social security leaves my options very limited at best.
Your videos have helped me enormously. Thank you.
I was actually researching and reading about these things. I want to learn to depend, love, care and improve myself instead of depending on others who arent available. I feel devalued when they arent around and that sucks. I dont want to be emotionally dependent on them. I wanna be ok just being myself. Thanks for this vid!
You will. Keep showing up and doing the work and you will.
I so needed that this morning specifically, and this week! Thank you for all your work and videos ❤
Oh my goodness I have no idea why your first video popped into my Facebook feed (i think that's where I saw it?!) the growth and understanding I am gaining... yay!! Thank you!
I love myself now and do more every day. I was brought up however internalising the toxic negativity of parents and I experienced deep lack of self love for most of my life which led to extreme emotional pain and I never understood why. It is the most amazing liberation when the penny finally drops and gradually you start feeling it as well as knowing it..
You’re gifted at what you do, Julia Kristina!
Looking forward to watching after work!! I’ve been steadily loving myself more and it’s a genuinely amazing feeling, though getting there is challenging ❤️
Gosh.....I think I’m starting to LOVE MYSELF!!! BOOYAH! 🥂🙏🥰🥰🥰
YASSS!
you’ve made a lot of deep insightful content but this takes the cake. I’ve had a sense of these different areas contributing to self doubt but to see that they all have a common underlying issue of self acceptance makes the prescription to fix extremely focused. Thank you!
I love the simple plain language you use to explain each item. You are brilliant
Just ordered the simple steps to self trust. Thank you!
Julia, you are an absolute gem. Your videos teach me something new every time and I’m very grateful, so thank you.
Thank you so much for taking the time to do this video. I'm in the process of getting to love and accept myself. I was born with a handicap and I struggled a lot with it so I'm working on letting it go and finding my rhythm to say no or yes
Learning to trust yourself- I had never thought of that! Very helpful video!
Hello from the UK. I love your videos, they've really helped me, so thank you so much 😊
Claire Broadwater,You got a lovely smile!
I have had a couple years learning how to love myself and never knowing how to get back up from falling on my feet. This video has helped me 10x more then I try to give myself advice every day.
Thank you I’m grateful for your gifts!
Hi Julia, this is Allard from the Netherlands, Amsterdam :) i’ve been watching and listening to your video’s since last week and want you to know that it is so helpfull. I’m hsving a hard time recovering from a burn out during this pandamic, not a good mix. But you help me te stay in focus and you bring your messages in such a loving and light way, thank you very much.
I need to listen to this every single day, for the rest of my life. Thank you for this 🙏
You are absolutely terrific. Talking about so many truths
I'm crying 😢... This video was so mind blowing for me. Thank you so much.
This is pure gold Julia... if there were such thing as an Owner's Guide to Self-Awareness, this is it... thank-you!
Thank you so much. When I am not in my best I become hypersensitive and push people away, not taking things personal has helped me a lot!
Astonishingly accurate, I’m blow away!
This is so good! I recently made a big decision that a lot of people that are in my life do not like. This one really hits home for me right now.
Julia, I'm from Egypt, I follow you and you give me much inspiration and strength, thank you for being out there! ❤❤
I will listen to this several more times.Thank you.
Since last 6 months I have been searching this information. Thanks lot Mam.
I didn’t realize how much I would see that I don’t have that great of a relationship with myself. I have spent so much of my life living in this Hell. I need to focus on and exploring the answers to these questions. Wow!!! I am so glad I came across your channel.
That's amazing! I just uploaded an interview with an awesome life coach talking about this exact topic. I love it that people are interested in knowing more about what self love is and how to truly love themselves. It's critical for our mental, emotional and social health.
Thanks so much for this julia..Think i’ve been a volunteer victim,just need to keep contributing-calmness is a human superpower. The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace
Mental strength is incredibly important. Take care of your mind and the way you speak to yourself. Don’t let negative self-talk weaken you. Talk like you are blessed. Walk like you are blessed. Think like you are blessed. Work like you are blessed. And you will be, one way or another.
Everything gets a bit uncomfortable when it’s time to change (or when it’s time to recalibrate your expectations). That’s just a part of the growth process. Things will get better. Be patient, and remind yourself that you will never have to force anything that’s truly meant to be. Just do your best, then adopt a “whatever happens, happens” mindset. Don’t try to force things-let go and allow the right blessings to flow.
peeeace
Ed
Thank you for these Julia
The observations and advice in this video are invaluable. Absolutely great. You give out so much light and hope! Step one is to trust yourself and respect yourself. Thank you so much.
Sometimes when we don’t love ourselves, we treat others badly. It’s not always about the behavior of others.
I feel sad to recognize more than one statement here... especially the last one. I don't do this with everyone, but with my partner or the person that I like, looking for his approval all the time. I'm tired of this cycle...
You can change! the first step is to recognise, and you've done that 🤓 make some small changes today, you can do it, you are worth it.
@@jaimwah so sweet of you, thank you
@@jaimwah me too xx
Fighting for love and fighting to be loved....WOW! 🙏🏻👍🏻❤️
Hi Julia, I first want to thank you. And let you know that I have been following psychologist for more than two years but you are the only one who made the switch in my life perspective. 🤗
Julia, I am so grateful I found you.
Just found your channel. I was doing well with knowing who I am, self loving but in the last year I began to let others emotions run me! Thank you for your video, information!
Thank you Julia!
I’ve already listened to this twice and been 🌟 starring so many of my notes. So grateful for your videos to help us become everything we are capable of being - which is amazing. Thank you Julia - you are not only making a difference but doing and being the difference! I embrace all the benevolence of your tremendous work. ♥️
Really glad you're here and on this journey with me.
Thank you Julia
Julia I'm a newbie to The Shift Network. Thank you so much I've been listening to your coaching and guidance before I do my yoga Asana? I just wanted to say thank you for helping me reprogram my mindset and change my negative beliefs and old patterns 😊 much love and gratitude!
Thank you for your videos. I struggle with this greatly, and it’s soothing to hear it spoken out because I can understand myself more
Thanks a lot, dear Julia.
Take good care of you! Absolutely great. Thank you.
Thank you!
Hello Julia from Italy. I've been watching your videos from 2/3 weeks and all topics are very well explained and clear. Thank you for such a great effort you put in this work for us! Gabriele
Love this. So,helpful. Thank you
Thank You Sooo much Julia Kristina!!!! This is sooooo helpful!!! ❤❤❤ Definitely been doing the work but have more to go. This helps me see where I am more clearly
Boy you nailed it! Thank you!