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the feeling that you feel the intellect and intelligence capabilities, and the behavior is of someone else and now that person is living his life without such feelings or any character. You must end that.
Thank you for the informative and inspirational videos and programs. They are very timely for us. Please keep up the good work. As always, even when one thinks we may already know some of this stuff somehow hearing it again makes one think wow I did not see it or think about that nuance that way. Have a question. Are the audio only versions, / podcasts (?) on the website or at Substack? Cheers!
Hey parents, lets not forget that our children and babies can see our eyes glued to our phones. Try harder to keep your phones away when you’re with the little ones 🚨
100% I put mine away when my son wants to talk, and when I’m in the middle of a text or something I ask him to hold on until I’m finished so I can give him my full attention.
As long as your partner supports you financially, physically, emotionally and spiritually, and has your name on EVERYTHING (house/car/bank accounts) and you have access to all financial information.
@carlywiebe3213 all those other things yes would be nice and how it should be but in the end just being able to be with your kid in the early years as they grow and have their first moments is a gift it sucks people have to miss all those things things they will never ever get back things that can't be bought just to have to survive
@@alenaadamkova5322really. Never seen that happen, Ever. Never ever never lol World is too expensive, 9 months or a year is the norm. Unless you are unemployed then yeah 3 years 10 year even 18 years is doable
I breast fed both of my babies until they were 3 years old. If they cried they got a boob so they didn’t cry. Now they are 12& 11. Both are breast free and tremendously independent and emotionally intelligent children. --I on the other hand was abandoned at 3months old and bounced from home to home thereafter. The point is we can heal and raise healthy children.
It is hard to breastfeed and do it so long when you have no example or support from your mother or from anyone really!! I am doing it now and no one cares or understands how complex and difficult it can be in the toddler years.
Been saying this for decades…USA Adults have all been brain washed to chase bull 💩 material gains…and increase tax revenue for the govt…..vice raising their own children….this is the foundational/root cause of 99% of our nations ailments…whether it be gun violence, drugs etc….it all starts at home and then is compounded by greed and oligarchs running our govt. it’s honestly a simple but not easy fix to get the nation on track….
I’ve always HAD to work. There was no safety net. There were no indulgent grandparents or siblings eager to be aunts and uncs. And yet I raised a child without an attachment disorder because in the time I did have, I focused on the child. You can raise a healthy child while working to support your family. It’s tough but it CAN be done. Put down your phone and don’t give a screen to a toddler.
Valid point. I'm father, kids know when you engage with them. My 1 year and 3 month kid know when its time for him, every night me and my wife turn off TV, no cellphone, that's a really god time and he enjoy a lot. He watches TV, unfortunally is impossible don't give this screen for him, but tv could be regulated, so we turn off always. Here in Brazil we have public daycare ( you can put the kid in since 1 yrs, but government don't want this, so families tend to give kids with the extended family to after 2 yrs put in daycare ). The fact of we been a matrilocal society, make Grandmas and aunts help to raise kids. But the problem is specially Gen X, REALLY think that smartphone is good for kids. We here have a really hard time to give gen X aways fro our kids, lots of helicopter parenting, and "gentile pareting", that is actually going REALLY bad. Parts of Gen Z here is really messed up, not all, because we are a poor country, so many kid have alone hangout time. But we are copying USA fast. Another thing that we having here is the autism fever. Lots of Gen X parents are addicted to think their kids have autism, if the kid is too much active, probably is autism, if is too much calm, probably autism. But generally the kids are as active as the parents are back then, but oddly the Gen X parents do'nt like active kids when they are little kids, but then when they're teens the same parents hate that they aren't as active as they are in their teen age. It doesn't make any sense.
Yes, everyone in human history had to work their butts off 24 seven, mothers and fathers, but yet children always knew who their parents were. It is only recently that the parents choice of watching TH-cam or being engaged and non-essential things and distractions have led to this, in addition to, drunk and alcohol effects.
“Whenever a child has an issue, it’s the parent that has the issue.” 💥 Man! So powerful. But it takes a very mature and willing parent to honestly look at themselves.
I largely agree with this but I've known people raised by a single working parent who pretty much raised themself that kept on the straight and narrow. Then I've known others who had loving parents who went south. Why?
Which of the following statements is pure BS? Your post or the following quote "In the Czech Republic, maternity leave is a financial benefit that provides 70% of a mother's regular salary for up to 28 weeks after giving birth to a single child. For mothers giving birth to multiple children, the benefit is paid for up to 37 weeks"
That made me emotional. My first son was like “Bobby” very clingy, eczema prone, always crying and hard to soothe. I loved and love this baby so very much, I poured him with abundant love and love and everyone told me I was spoiling him. I didn’t care. My mother instincts always told me I needed to give him extra love and extra attention and I’m SO GLAD I did! Today, he’s 5 yo and he is SO STRONG! So kind to others! So smart, affectionate, secure, and Mature for his age! He will lecture dad or other people some times of “don’t talk bad things about people on their backs” and we laugh that he is a little police officer as he is always making sure we are all safe and doing the right things. He apologizes to me if he snaps at me and says mommy I love you, I’m sorry I was rude to you. I was very stressed. I’m so proud of him. He is everything I could ever ask God for, he is my diamond and my perfect love- in the sense that I wouldn’t change one bit of him!! Watching this video made me realize I did the right thing all along. And I love science, I’m a nurse myself and I studied genetics and epigenetics for fun as I love this topic. I’m so happy I found this video ❤ please mommas, FOLLOW YOUR HEARTS! Don’t let society disrupt this love only you know you have
Thank you for sharing your story. My baby is very independent but I am always close in case he needs me. When he does want me to carry him around I always do it and I don't care what people say. I had him so I could give him all the love I am able to give.
A lot is put on the mothers, but how much support do mothers get in our society? We live in a culture that does not honor or support childrearing. Many mothers have no support structure and they suffer in silence alone.. and try as they might to do their best, the toll it takes affects the children. We need real community again.
Absolutely ✋✋ We moved to a rural small town in 2018, and I found a lot of support here for young families + mom's. Older women have offered to babysit, store clerks are patient with my kids, and everyone seems to understand that children take work! I have felt so much love here; whereas in my 10 years in the city, I knew 1 neighbour ...
@@ks21870 Also, the other mothers who say their babies and toddlers are “boring,” and “ can’t WAIT to get back to work” demean the heck out of parents who feel and behave polar opposite, I guess to be self congratulatory.
I was the type of mom who had my babies growing up either in my arms or on my back. I quit my job when my son was born. My children never needed to cry more than one second to get mom's attention because I was fluent in their baby language. Their needs always got met instantly. No, they weren't spoiled, they were just loved and cared for. They grew up happy, smart, kind, curious, and academically very successful, one MDPhD and one JD from a top law school.
That's great. I felt horrible cause I didn't nurture my first one like I was supposed to. He is now 23 and has anxiety. My 2nd and 3rd children i was there for them 100%, and they are both social butterflies who are always willing to take a chance.
I am so happy and content that I left my stressful career when I got pregnant. I had my child everyday of my life and her life for the last 9 years. She is probably the happiest child Inever met. I don’t regret anything.
I got pregnant when I left a stressful job. Only then did I realise that parenting beats any paid job I could have had! OK, the hours are long and the pay is rubbish - but the rewards are infinite.
You're very lucky. My baby has HIE Moderate due to birth asphyxia. I'm making her cry daily with physical therapy. Have been since she came out of NICU.
My mum had to go back to work when I was 3 months old, in 3rd world countries staying home isn’t really an option. I don’t have any attachment disorders or mental health issues. I’m happily married and have done pretty well for myself. I think all extremes are bad and if you’re a mum and you’re reading this: IT’s OK IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO BE MORE THAN JUST A MOM! I love and admire my mom in fact! She’s my best friend.. so if you decide to go to work, your kids will be okay 😊
My parents, especially my dad, left me with severe attachment disorder. I can remember having panic attacks as a small child if I was left alone in a room with my dad. He was a rage-aholic. But there is hope, and I have healed a lot through therapy. I'm so glad I went no-contact with him over 10 years ago.
Are you me? Because I went through the very same thing with my dad, who I called both a workaholic and a rage-aholic, growing up, at the same ages. The only difference is I haven’t gone no contact with my dad. I’m just very low contact with him.
I am a Sensitive guy. I still need the presence and love and some physical comfort, like a hug, to feel the connection. I am also by default welcoming people I meet, taking the first step (till some of them come out as undeserving, as I find out later) After hearing what the doctor said in the video, I really thank my mom so much for loving me throughout my childhood, letting me be near her(as a toddler I clung to her) and love her, and that she cared for me, and for listening to me even though she was tired after her job 😢❤❤ Mom has always been my hero!! Love you maa! ❤❤❤😘
I just had my first child, a boy and I hope he loves me the way you love your ma ❤️. He's the greatest thing I've ever created and the best thing I'll ever do in my life is be his momma. I hope you and your family are doing well! :)
It’s not just a lack of paid maternity leave. Our society as a whole is not pro-family at all. Parents, especially mothers, are basically expected to withdraw from society for several years until their children can behave like little adults. It’s considered socially unacceptable to take young children to so many places these days. Segregating children is the norm so that people feel entitled to not have to see or hear them in public spaces like on planes and in restaurants and stores. Parents feel guilty for wanting to participate in society with their children in tow because of the public discourse about children. People would rather see, a wall, and hear a DOG in a cafe than a baby.
@@ineedhoezThere are age appropriate behaviours. Young children are not always going to be well behaved - they don't understand the rules of society, they get overwhelmed easily and don't understand the difference between public and private the way you do.
The other part of this, is our society is not built to create conditions that enable parents to not be stressed. Like the society we have is not based on strong families creating a strong nation, it’s a bunch of groups in conflict trying to exploit each other because that’s what the incentive politically have created.
Also "community events" as National childrens day in 80s and 90s children loved these trips in nature, playing sports, then they got some "awards" for their effort. It snurturing for the community of people, build the bonds and friendships.
I'm just old enough to recall the 80sc and 90s. Sadly my parents didn't socialize properly so I only ever got to see these communities and events from the outside
We literally had this in 2003 - why do you think the neo-commies want everyone to belive y2k was racist And itsy like dude that was the calmest time in history
Society is a response to what people want and do. If women began to stay home more, society would adjust around them. Need to stop the voices that tie a woman’s worth so tightly to her job.
I’m a Professional Nanny & have been for well over 20 years! I am considered by payment standards to be a high profile Nanny & I wholeheartedly agree with what she’s saying! Mama’s if you can stay home with your babies I sincerely suggest that you do! You’ll appreciate your efforts later…
I was a nanny too & that's just another side of the same coin. The parents pay strangers to care for & bond with their children for the parents convenience & then they break those bonds & secure attachments when the job ends. Only a very small percent stay in touch with the children/families
That is why I never understood the idea of a separate nursery room. All our children slept with us, (in a co-sleeper baby bed) for at least the first 3 years of their life. We have also learned to recalibrate our methods according to each child's needs. Both parent and child grow in character as we rear our kids.
So true!. My daughter of 5 slept in my bed near me till she was like 3. And my son of 3 can't sleep till I sleep next to him. . When he sleeps I go to my own room but at night he comes searching for me.
I think it really depends. I was nervous about the nursery. It’s why we waited so long with both of ours. Our first was a bad sleeper. She rolled and kicked in her sleep like a wild child…. We moved her out at 18 months because we had a second on the way and didn’t want to wait for him to get there. (Didn’t want her to blame the new baby.) We knew it wouldn’t be healthy for our child to be regularly woken up nor us to have two kids waking us up. Nor the new baby to be woken up by her. So for everyone’s sanity (especially my post partum self since I had BAD ppd with our first) we made that switch. Our second was a better sleeper but still woke up several times a night. We moved him out at 14 months because we let him sleep in his sisters room for a night due (because I would have woken him up every few minutes otherwise… bad work night) and he slept the entire night without crying. 😬 We tried it a few more times with the same results. It was PAINFUL to fully acknowledge that he slept better without us. Now he only wakes up mid sleep every few nights and we always go up to comfort him. Same with our daughter when she wakes up. Our oldest is also fully aware of the camera(not wifi connected) and will walk up to it to talk to us. So she knows she isn’t alone at night. We let them play in their room before bed as independent. We continuously play and interact with them from the moment they wake up until their “independent play” time. That moment is also important for them.
We kept our child in our room with us (in his own crib, we never bedshared) until he was a year old. He slept horribly the whole time, I thought it was just how he was as a baby. But as soon as we moved him to his own room, he started sleeping through the night & waking up happy. He HATED everything sleep related before, now he loves bedtime. I guess we never realized how we are apparently the most annoying sleeps lol! We do get a lot of together time though
Just about to have our first child and trying to get things right (i know you can do all the "right" things and it still wont work but we just want to follow the best evidence and prepare), and I'm wandering whether this sort of thing will lead your kids to struggle to be independent no? Any time they hit adversity, won't they instantly need their parents? I also worry that if we follow this process we will end up with a very spoilt daughter?
My daughter had colic and I carried her around, soothing her, the house for hours and hours, practically sleepwalking, for the first 8 months. It was tough. But after seeing this, that may have been an incredibly valuable time.
Look at what is going on in our schools. When parent's are unable to take care of their kids themselves. Daycare, k-12 public schools. Kids are being raised by society instead for the vast majority of their day too.
If you actually look at how humans evolved, children were always raised by the society. There were seven caretakers for any for one infant. The problem is that we went from having seven caretakers for a child to one caretaker. The nuclear family model is the problem. We used to grow up and multi-generational houses with aunties and uncles. We also had extended kinship where you had other families and people in the community that took care of the kids. We implemented the nuclear family and put it on Mom and Dad. Dad has to go to work and mom has to stay home. One person cannot be the sole source of attachment for a child. It's failing because it was never designed to work in the first place. The nuclear family wasn't designed to raise children it was designed to sell products.
I was a stay at home parent for ten years. I was a present parent for all my kids - and my kids have ADHD. They are grounded, emotionally healthy adults living amazingly creative lives. Let’s not blame neurodivergence on parenting styles. AND let’s not blame people for needing to work. Kids are very expensive to raise.
❤As an early childhood educator, I whole heartedly agree. Diving deeper in my childhood trauma, the lack of attachment with my parents negatively carved my introverted personality growing up. The first few years are so critical.
Same!! My mom was single mom who went back to work when I was 10months old. She was never super nurturing even now I know she loved me. Now I take care of young children (1-5y) and believe most of the kids with issues just haven't had enough time and love from their parent
My single mom did 10 to 12, nights, 1000 miles away from her family. She "couldn't" find a babysitter who'd stay up. At almost 2, in spring, she went to leadership training and put me on a plane alone to go from Alaska to Oklahoma, where her very old parents lived (she had me at 40, and she was the youngest sibling). So... yeah. I agree. 8 hours a day away is too much. I've been broken all my life, and I'd rather not see anyone else go through it.
In the USA day-cares take an infant, 6 weeks old for up to 10 hours!!!! It is cruel IMO. Ratios are going up and up bc there is a crazy demand for daycare. And low qualified people doing the job with a low salary... Daycare is not kindergarten and ppl don't understand it. There is not a degree to take care of an infant even tho it is the most fragile phase. CA has a 1:4 ratio for infant 😢 some states were talking 1:5!!
@@dde716In Canada you take a year of training and 3 ECE practicums to be licensed for 30 month to age 5. Once you have this certification than you can take another 8-9 months of school plus more practicum hours to become an infant toddler educator. Quality care of young children is 100% equal to the amount of experience and education a care giver has. Educators have First Aid with Infant/Child CPR and a Criminal Record Check.. Our ratio is 1:4 but because we have a year of employment insurance covered maternity and parental leave (if you have Nerf previous employment hours banked) most infants don't enter care until they are 9 months to a year old. It would be super scary to be leaving an infant, especially one younger with any caregiver who does not at least meet these qualifications! Where I live in BC I believe in infant toddler educator makes at least around $35 an hour.
I have always said this and will always do. Raising a child is going to be the hardest job you will EVER do in your life. To raise a next generation, and we are a complex human being. And everything you do, say or done to your child will impact them when they become an adult. We are the by product of our parents/guardian. It is disgusting to see when parents take no responsibility or accountability when their child turn out something wrong. You just don't know what really goes on in a child life behind close door. Parents need to step up, no pitty party, and take it seriously when you are going to have a child. And be selfless for once in your life. 😂
I needed this reminder of how blessed I am to be able to work from home and stay close to my child. I could definitely get better work for better pay, but we do well enough and I am grateful.
I held my baby tonight until she fell asleep. I put her in the crib and she was happy to sleep by herself. Then I found his video which made me realize that needs to be routine. Thank you!
Just remember that being physically present, doesn’t necessarily mean you are truly “present” to your child. If we are preoccupied with other tasks, it’s difficult to focus on what our children need✌️
@@caseybledsoe770 Thank you! I posted that b/c my mom worked nights and then had to be with us kids during the day while my father worked and although she did her best, there were definitely times she did not have the energy or patience needed to deal with us. Additionally, nowadays I see a lot of young mothers/ fathers preoccupied with their phones or placing kids in front of screens or given too many toys in an effort to keep them busy, which is not good. God bless you and your family🙌🏻!
They are the same thing. Your mother is your first attachment which is a model for all attachments going forward. An attachment disorder affects the bond between the mother and the infant causing trust issues. It can happen in neglect and in over-indulgence. When a child cries, the mother responds. This should be consistent which helps the child understand how to interact with the world. A child who receive vastly different responses to the same behavior will not understand consequences or connect their actions to the behavior of others. They will also learn to not trust those that they are supposed to trust.
I am from Russia, where maternity leave is 3 years. You get $8,000 USD government support for the first and subsequent children. The government subsidizes your mortgage payments, and everything is done to support families. When I came to the US and had my child here, I realized that there is little to no help for US moms. Society is kind to moms, but the system just does not support them. Seriously how the mom who has barely 3 months of paid leave, can afford herself to stay with the child longer than that?
That's what makes capitalism great again! Every man for himself! The Marxist world can have their normal gun free society and live in peace. We won't have any of that in America 😂
I have a severe attachment disorder and PTSD from being an unwanted pregnancy & child. I was not raised the same way as my older siblings. All I got from my family was rejection, disappointment and blame. My mom’s identity revolved around her high IQ children. Because I had the highest IQ I was supposed to out perform my siblings in everything. I had to be perfect. If I got a 99 on a test I missed one. I failed. There were such high expectations of me and then my parents did everything they could to undermine me and sabotage my success. I’m 59 and I think the only people I have ever bonded to are my children. I feel like my whole life was a set-up for failure. I contracted a serious chronic illness in my 20’s and it was a relief to go on disability. Even though I did well in school and work and received many awards and commendations, but because of how I was raised I had severe impostor syndrome. I had nothing but success and praise, but I always had the feeling that somehow I was going to be “caught” or exposed and publicly humiliated.
I did exactly what this lady is talking about when my little one was born and we are so in tune with each other she is a pleasure to take care of we have such a great bond and her intelligence is off the charts the best education and action for our kids is nurture whole heartedly from day 1 they are a blessing ...so get off the phones and down to the parks beaches mountains and forrests for quality adventures amd make wonderful memories 🎉
I raised my first child with a healthy attachment. Stayed home from work for 3 years, breast fed 15 months, coslept, carried them on my chest or back for 2 years while making sure they had a lot of physical activity and socialization with other children while I was close by, etc. Emotionally they’re sensitive but has no problems with independent play, immune system is the best in the family, extraverted, and very intuitive. My second child was brought up opposite. I had trouble breast feeding so only 3 months, was in daycare before 1 years old because I went back to work, we didn’t cosleep and I didn’t carry them around past 6 months. Second child has a difficult time coping with change, doesn’t like to have independent play, has a lot more negative emotions and doesn’t like to openly communicate when something is frustrating. My mental and physical health took a massive hit also. My second child was even written up after 3 years of good behavior at the daycare for finally snapping and started threatening the teacher and throwing chairs. We chalked it up to stress and not feeling safe to communicate feelings with the teacher considering this was the 6th caretaker they had since starting daycare. That’s when I knew I was doing the right thing staying home with my first child. I was made to feel guilty for quitting work and wanting to have a more attachment style parenting. It felt so natural and I didn’t understand why people were so rigid. It lacks common sense to me. I understand if someone can’t financially stay home with their child. That’s not the issue but society saying a woman should go back to work a few weeks after having a traumatizing event happening to the body. Or if there’s a male partner, they are also going through a major life event and I do believe men’s mental health should be looked at as well, and a vulnerable baby is expected to be with another caretaker after a few weeks entering the world. Both my children are in grade school and now I feel like I have to fix a lot of behaviors and figure out how to teach my youngest how to cope with emotions and communicate those feelings.
Wow people don’t like to see you taking time to be with your child these days. Unless they feel you can afford it.. but that’s not their choice to make!
My little baby is sleeping with me ( we kicked out daddy from the bed 😅).She is 14 months old and she got into our bed when she was 2 months old.Every night I watch her sleeping next to me ❤ she is growing soo fast.I dont know if it is because i got her in my 40s but I want to be with her non-stop.I don't want to go to work(while she is so small)or to put her in the other room to sleep..I know it is common in USA that baby has her own room from a birth day-but I could not imagine to leave her alone in other room, no way!..and you know what,we never had sleepless nights-,from the moment she was sleeping next to me,she was waking up just for breastfeeding and it is still like that...
I feel the same way my son is 3 years old he has slept in my bed since being an infant I feel like I want to be there for him and I'm scared to miss out on things since hes growing so fast
I also had my child after 40, he's been sleeping with me since he's 2 months. And me too, I sometimes see him sleep, and feel so grateful I can spend a lot of time with him!
My son is 14 months old and he started co sleeping in our bed since he was 2 months old. I never had sleep issues after that. When he wakes up, I am instantly available for a feed and he falls back to sleep. I am loving these precious times.
Every single kid in my extended family, ages 4-10, are in counseling because they are having a very tough time with emotional regulation. Either private practice or required through school after repeated social issues.
There are so many more factors to consider than what this video is saying. There are elements that are known to be neurotoxins that all children are exposed to. I don't want to have my comment deleted, but think what all kids get at well visits. If people would research the ingredients that are known to have neurological consequences, they would understand why children are plagued with @utism, adhd, anxiety, and sensory overload. Don't take my word for it. Research for yourself. A huge side effect of these ingredients that are being put directly into the body to prevent viral infection is difficulty with self-regulation of emotions due to sensory overload because of what certain ingredients do to the brain. It cannot be a coincidence that when the amount of these things were increased astronomically we saw generations of kids with these problems. I hope i did not offend, so sorry the kids you know are suffering. 😢
Its crazy how your childhood shaped how you will raise kids. And how you raise your kids affects their whole life and their kids and their kids and their kids. How you act affects 100’s of people.
I failed my daughter in the first couple of years, I was there and tried my best but due to postnatal depression I wasn’t emotionally present. She could feel it. Everything felt forced and unnatural , I didn’t have support and i eventually learnt to manage but I feel so guilty that I didn’t enjoy the first few years or bond with her properly. I carry guilt and shame everyday. I love her so much, always have, I just didn’t know how to be a single parent with depression and feeling lost. I’m not playing the victim I’m genuinely asking… is there nothing I can do to heal her at a core level. It’s very depressing to think that’s it , I’ve ruined her mental health and nervous system for life.
Not everyone can stay home. Things just happen in life, and we all have different cards to play. It doesn't mean we should stop having kids. We can raise good kids with a good mentality with both parents working
It’s videos like this that make me feel normal. I’m 26 years old, I’m a mother of 6 and a wife. My husband works full time and I care and homeschool our little ones. It’s not until 2:30AM that I take the time to have alone time with myself to read a few different books/ scroll through YT/ read articles, etc. My mother and siblings tend to hyper critic my life and always come up to me with a demeanor of, “oh it must be hard” or “yeah hopefully you can go to school once your kids are older” but in reality I feel bad for them. I’m very well educated, I manage the finances and file our own income tax. I’m also preparing myself to learn bookkeeping and expanding my knowledge on income taxes for when my husband and I have our first business with Gods blessing. Also everyone’s life is different and everyone goes through life’s stages in different orders and it’s important to remind ourselves that self reflection is key to one’s success.
Well done, you are brilliant and so capable. I am thrilled to see more and more young families like yours showing that there is a better way. God bless you and your family. When I was homeschooling 30 years ago I was continually asked if it was legal and even criticized when I was expecting baby #3 by random strangers. I was asked ‘why are you having another baby’? Our great regret is that we did not have more and truly stood firmer against the tide of negative public opinion.
I practiced attachment parenting with my now 25 year old daughter - I did work and she had a babysitter but it was the same sitter for most of those three years and both sitters were very warm and attached to her. Still, at four and five years old I could see in her dance class that while the other children could remain focused my child could not. She wasn’t destructive or angry or disregulated. She just did her own thing. She would come back into participation but then drift out again. She loves her class and loved her teacher. She hyper focused on the things that are of interest to her - so when the teacher would incorporate a new step or move she would hyper focus in to learn it - but as that became repetitive, she drifted away and made up her own dances incorporating the new step. ADHD is a very real thing and it isn’t a lack of parent attention or attachment. I’ve seen it in kids with stay at home parents and kids with working parents. This is still the way that my daughter functions - it affects the music she listens too, the books she reads, the way that she chose her profession. She needs space for creativity and to change things up and to use her own style within that profession and what happens is that her students are incredibly engaged and move from lackluster to energized learners. Her enthusiasm inspires them. Do kids need more eyes on attention from parents? Absolutely - have only one tv, no fridges in bedrooms. Go to their stuff - and make sure they have healthy stuff like outdoors, and goals, and support. Be friends with their friends parents. Play video games with them. But demonizing the way a portion of the populations brain functions doesn’t solve anything. Some kids need that medicine and if they don’t have it prescribed they will def medicate with alcohol and drugs.
This lady is spot on. Had we constructed office building to have more solo offices for young moms we could have just accepted the young mom will be a less productive with their kid is there - until they are in school or whatever - but that we will all be so much fricking richer with healthy adults all around us. This is just an example of how we could work around this btw.
I love her and how she teaches how important Father and mother are in our childrens life! Because todays world its soooo disgusting how everyone is working and its normalized having alot of children and not staying home with that ( the father can work the mother can stay or vise versa) but its best for the mother to stay! ( except if u have a financial problem or ur sinking in bills) than sell ur car,home( live in an apartment) bc nothing is more important than ur children and trust me ur gonna be much happier staying with them and focusing on the good stuff and really enjoy every step! ♥️🤲🏽
As a foster mom this topic is of huge interest to me. I have always been interested in this and done my best with my biological kids (14-23y olds now). Now as a foster parent I put a lot of thought on what is my non biological kids attachmental foundation and how it affects them in the moment. Having some sense on the foundation helps me in how I guide them and how I react to their behavior. Calm and accepting environment helps them a lot. And humour.
Children should be with the adults that are emotionally healthy, whole, mentally stable, etc. If a parent stays home all day with their children, but the mother or father is mentally ill, unstable or toxic, the result is not secure attachment or a feeling of safety and security.
Bingo! We have generations upon generations of cumulative bad parenting by example. Nobody knows how to be a good parent nowadays. But nobody can replace a real parent.
Stress:acute & chronic: trigger amygdala which tells the gut through the vagus nerve to turn off the Brunners glands in the gut which actually work to feed the microbiology in our gut. And while this could affect others one big microbe it affects us lacto-bacillus. This then changes the tone of the vagus nerve and makes the amygdala and anxiety and stuff more likley to be triggered in amygdala across time. Thus is a bio/psycho reason they tell you to consume fermented foods a lot because that’s one way to buffer the fact that under stress your gut stops feeding your microbes and lacto bacillus populations a major one goes down. So learn to do lacto-bacillus fermentation by learning to make your own starter at home. You can make your own yogurt even that has a much higher population of microbes. (Greek yogurt is regular that’s just strained) Plus often if you have a starter culture of lacto in your fridge, and it runs out of food, it actually goes dormant so even if it’s been in there for a long time, it often comes back if you feed it. Plus it’s a facultative anerobe, it survives in oxygen but thrives without oxygen. If you lacto ferment pickles or veggies etc, you use a brine, if you make yogurt you just mix milk in and watch videos on how to do this. The trick is learn to create your own starter culture from scratches. Heck you can even make flavored fizzy lacto baccciljs drinks. Other fermentations like vinegar are also worth learning plus a sour dough starter too and that can be woke up too. They are like pets learn to keep them going.
Get your head straight and then start to psychologically process how to reconcile. Even if they are wrong Cuz ib 20yrs... trust me dude u know what I'm saying
@@glytchd no I’m not interested in reconciliation while they do nothing to resolve any of the conflicts or trauma. You wouldn’t tell someone who is being abused by a romantic partner to just keep taking abuse. You don’t get a free pass because you’re someone parent for abuse.
I can see your point of view but also to judge is to be ignorant because we are not sure what our own parents went through. It’s generational trauma and most likely your parents went through worse. We have to break the chain and be the change you want to see. Seek therapy, better yourself and maybe eventually you can forgive your parents 🙏
@@guerrerok0418 you’re judging and making assumptions right now that I haven’t worked anything out I have CPTSD and they’re still refusing to go to put real work in. You don’t go back to normal after putting your kid in life threatening situations without even taking accountability for your actions. I’m not going to live a life feeling infected that’s what connection with them feels like at this point. I don’t care if you or they “think” they suffered more it’s not an excuse for abuse, and you need to learn to ask more questions about why someone would choose to go no contact.
@@guerrerok0418 just because you were given love on a silver spoon doesn’t mean I have to accept my parents can only give it to me licking off knives. th-cam.com/video/deyHwDkG7oc/w-d-xo.htmlsi=IascBwwGD8H4GltH
I was blessed to be able to be w my son most all his childhood. I didn't work the first 4 yrs of his life and even then i didn't leave for long. Work part time first then switched to full time for 2 yrs. Then quit my job to work from home. Im a single mom too. My youngest n i are very close. This lady is correct. He mostly likes to be independent, but in distress he comes to me
So true… and so sad. I went to a coffee shop with my baby girl a few days ago and there was a man sitting at a table next to us with his daughter about 7 years old. He was looking at his phone the ENTIRE time, hardly spoke to her at all. All she did was watching me feeding and engaging with my baby… That broke my heart.
I was a diehard career woman, but when I had kids, I quit my successful career. I never regretted it, but it was hard on me but best for my kids. 22 years later and I’m still having to be there, just less. Economics plays a huge factor in doing this, along with lack of trust with partner.
Needing 2 incomes to afford children, and no parental leave is just a disaster. So either you can afford children but they are neglected, or you cant afford children and live in poverty if you do have children. Third option is not having children which seems to be an increasingly popular choice. Birth rate is below replacement everywhere.
It's why we all should manage money wisely with proper financial teachings to our youngs. It's depressing how our society just eager to spend money based on urges than put in savings for rainy days. Also, overly depending on our government has proven disaster so far. Invest in yourself with good educations, not stupid brand name materials that won't last lifetime.
@@OctoberOctopusM but the video points out that leaving the child to childcare cause immense trauma. so for this to work you would need to give maternity leave for 3 years which no country currently offers.
@@antinutjobs it´s not just that, wages have been stagnant and cost of living has been rampant, then you add that in order to earn a decent wage you need at least college degree which 30 years ago you only needed highschool diploma to earn the same wage. Youngsters have to spend more time and money to get a college degree that only puts them on even playing field, so that´s at least 100k behind if you add what you can save in 4 years and the college fees. That´s 200k behind for a family right from the get go, in order to make up that difference families are forced to plan and delay marriage and having kids, many women pass their prime ages and become sterile, others have deformities in their babies, some have lingering health issues after giving birth. It´s horrendous the hand that has been dealt to the young generation. Just saying it´s spending problem is so disengenous.
I was passed around to several different people during the first several years of my life. Life with reactive attachment disorder is a living hell on earth. At 40 years old I felt love for the first time in my life. At my first Catholic mass, at the consecration of the Eucharist. God healed me of my RAD at that moment. God loves you, please if you are struggling with this, go to mass, there is hope.
@@TheThiaminBlog I want to commend you. My parents weren’t so willing to admit that they had been instrumental in my issues as a child. They didn’t want to admit I had suffered 40 years for their actions. I haven’t spoken to them for 6 years. The last time, the time, when I tried to explain why I had been the way I was and what God had done for me, they just disowned me and kicked me out of their house. I know I went through what I did so I can help those that are suffering with the same issues I experienced. This video kinda confirms that. If attachment issues are a bigger problem today then they were when I was a child, then there is a lot of people out there suffering. They need God and they need the sacraments more than anything. God bless.
I was adopted at about a month old, and my adoptive mother resented me from day one. I’m a (49) year old woman now and here to tell you it took until my adult years to figure out why I developed Borderline Personality Disorder, a disassociation disorder and complete mistrust of women.
I was blessed to nurture two of my children the way she describes. We chose one income family. We did without but wouldn't have had it any other way. Children are gifts from the Lord. Sadly, I had to return to work when the second turned five. What fabulous adults they turned out to be.
Gee something that Dr Spock told us in the 80s... yet by y2k I kept being told "There's no manual for raising kids" and my 13yo self is life "but.. but they literally have books written v about this, I don't understand?? Why do all the adults argue with me when I try to explain how they are raising me wrong"
Yes, but some mothers have no choice but to work to provide for their children like my case and many mothers these days 😢 I hate leaving my child in daycare or family members bc I got to work
Many women HAVE to work, for many reasons like they were born to poverty, they lack familial support, their spouse died or was disabled. Etc. if a woman works full time she can still raise a happy healthy child into a happy healthy adult.
My mother and father didn't have parents that said I love you. So my parents said it but not much and by the time I turned five I was told I was too old for hugs and kisses. I now have children of my own and I shower them with praise, love, affection and I also discipline them the right way. On my mother's death bed (my father never made it to see me have children) she said to never stop pouring love into them and she said she wish that I was her mom. That was the biggest compliment I could ever hear about being a mom. My own mother wanted me to be her mom because that's how much she looked up to me as a mother to my own children. I can tell a guide difference from me and how I was raised and how I raise them. My children KNOW that their parents are here to protect them love them and take care of them because God trusted us with his creation. We put a lot of love into these little ones
My daughter has started with daycare at 14 months and I have seen huge benefits for her. We went there every day for an hour or two together for 6 weeks, so she can form a bond to her teacher. We don't have any family here (we live abroad) and I see how much she has learned and how much she loves her teacher. It's like a grandparent we don't have here. Both her physical and language skills have exploded in the past months. I really have trouble seeing the downside, at least in our case. She goes for 5-6 hours per day. Curious if I'm missing something, but it seems to work well for us 🤷🏻♀️
Physical and language skills aren't indicators for the emotional state your child is in. A child can be very good at everything and still have certain emotional trauma etc. Although I'm sure kindergarten is helping you a lot, and is a good place for your child to be when you need to work, there's still something that your child needs and will only get it from you. So I'd say, don't just ignore this video but at least try to understand what can help you minimise damage. We're in a similar situation, although my child is bigger. And from what I've read, and even heard doc Gabor Mate say, I know that there's always some damage that our absence is making. BUT, there are ways to repair that and we should do it from the earliest age. One way is to tell your child that you're not with them because you have to and not because you want to or decided to without their consent as well.
As someone who has been in both situations to compare, I can understand your confusion. Sending my older kids to daycare when they were young because I had to, seemed like everything was fine and it was making them learn and socialize more. Staying home with my twins, they hit every metric wayyyy faster and so far seem to be doing better overall. I don’t judge parents either way, you do what you have to. But if we ever decide to have a 6th, I will absolutely be staying home with them. Active parenting will teach your kid just as well if not better than daycare. But not everyone is privileged to do so, and for that I’m happy daycare is available.
Environment is very important for the child. I had a friend who's daughter didn't talk until she got five. And the doctor made a statement that it's because nobody talked to her at home.
Oh wow. It’s almost like all of this research shows that God actually designed things so that Moms being with, and raising, their own children would be the very best thing for them.... Shocker.
That is not the point! Attachment disorder is caused by a baby being ignored by the adults around them. I endured a horrible childhood but I don't have attachment disorder because I was not ignored and unattended to during the first years of my life. I spent over 50 years teaching and in child care. Plenty of children are growing up in unsuitable homes, but they do not suffer from attachment disorder. When he asked her what attachment disorder was she rattled off her opinion of the cause and never told him what attachment disorder actually is and what it does to you. If you've ever seen a picture of a Russian orphanage with rows and rows of cribs with babies in them, then you will understand how attachment disorder develops.
...And that is exactly the point. The more that children are raised and nurtured by their own Mommy - the less likely they are to be ignored and less nurtured by some random adult at a daycare center or public school. And, no, I did not say that there wouldn't be exceptions - but radically less probable. As the old saying goes, *"No one loves your child like you do."*
Parents need time to be adults and not lose themselves to childcare, of course if you have people take the kids for awhile when you need it helps alot with that
@@lillycompton2177this and people don’t realize no matter or much you nurture your kids if you are toxic, have terrible attachment styles yourself then you will pass that to your kids. You can grow up in a two parent household and still be neglected and not cared for.
i found the ending of the video very interesting! How epigenetics can even soothe down genetic predisposition of anxiety disorders. Amazing, the importance of conscious parenting with setting clear and respectful boundaries.
On a technical level, you need to talk to your audio professional about using a de-esser. With my headphones on every time she makes an S sound my ears hurt. Great guest though!
I got separated from my mom when I was 7.. I went to live with my dad in another country. I never had lived with anyone other than my mom until then and I remember I cried everyday and when I started school I would throw up every morning and my aunts thought it was bc I didnt wanna go to school. They sent me back to my mom 7 mnths later. I think that episode in my life is why I have so many emotional problems and cant keep a relationship
Of course we're going to take a crap on it because that's not how humans evolved. The nuclear family is not the model. Humans evolved to have seven caretakers for every one infant. Now you want to reduce it to one caretaker? That's like your boss telling you to go do the job of 7 people but you're still getting paid your same salary. We were fed so much propaganda about the nuclear family that we don't even questioned why throughout 99.9% of human history that was not the standard for families.
I worked at a pre school for 11 years. Some of those teachers believe 2 and 3 year olds are being brats when they cry, throw up, sweat, etc and don’t want to be left with the teacher.
I’m literally divorced now because I refused to put our son in a PRE PRE K from the time he was born. Who on Earth would do that ? Our society needs to serious revert back to when we cared more about family and each other. I’m also glad to see more people espousing the ideas that reassurance is more important than throwing your kid out and “teaching independence”. We are all DEPENDENT on each other and I dont understand where this “self made man” bull$hi7 came from. Or the pride in not needing anyone. If anything we should be encouraging each other to find ways that we can help each other and reward that more than how much money / status we can accumulate :(
My son’s mother took me to court for custody after telling her I didn’t want him in daycare and I would take care of the day to day. According to her it wasn’t manly to want to raise your child. She would leave him in daycare for 12 plus hours a day. The court didn’t care and my only save was they also didn’t care that I would sit with him at daycare from 2- 630 everyday
Yes, I’m divorced, too. I fought with my husband for 2 years to keep my children at home. Seeing his pettiness (only thinking about money) and lack of support made me sick. My mother stayed at home for 10 years with her children. My dad saw his role during those years as the main breadwinner. We all absolutely respected and loved him. He was an example of a great husband and father. Unfortunately the man I chose to marry was nothing like him.
In conclusion the father should provide for a mother and child. The mother should at minimum stay home with a child for the first three years. Debunking feminism and supporting Harrison Butker’s message to catholic college students.
I was adopted at the age 3, more close to 4. I was put in an orphanage when I was 3 months old in Russia because my mother went schizophrenic. My adoptive parents gave me what ai needed when it came to basic needs. Food on the table, a bed. Our emotional needs were never met and were were just yelled at all the time for having any sort of feelings. I struggle with connecting and controlling my emotions to this day. Been in Therapy for years and have been married for almost 10, I still question if my husband really loves me. That foundation really is truly everything when your young. I never felt secure or safe or truly loved, even when my husband does everything right.
5:20 If puberty has been starting younger and younger in more recent years, how do we know adolescence and brain development haven’t also been changing their timing lately? Good talk and points regardless.
The Brain Information she is talking about isn't brand new information. They proved that years ago. Puberty however is the body and hormone release. The two are probably not related because the brain development isn't a new thing, while the body development is.
I was there for my children, had very good instincts the pediatrican said. Whatsoever i was very fearful, in very insecure circumstances in every way, so my children got traumatized over some years, even so i was tender, nuturing and caring. But i did not feel safe all the time, so my children did not either. So sad, they still have problems today.🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
One thing I wanted before having my son is to be SAHM, but it was not possible. During my pregnancy and during the 12 weeks of maternity leave, I dedicate my free time to look for WFH and I’m very fortunate to have found a great company. Almost 4 years and still working from home raising my son.
I baby wore one of my kids for almost 2 years. I nursed him on demand and ran to his every cry, so why is he the most difficult of all? He’s 4 now and constantly needs my attention and if I play with him for a while and then move on to other children, it’s never enough. What the heck went wrong there?
@@kkonrad4165 that is so relieving to read. These videos are great but also leave you wondering if you’ve failed and now have to deal with a future murderer.
You did all of that correctly because your motherly intuition told you that he specifically needed it! I have 4 little ones and raised them all as you did and they are all very very different and my second is just as yours! Reminds me so much of my husband too. He’s 7 now and still needs me tremendously but wow he has become so empathetic and protective so there is hope! Some just need more than others because of their inner turmoil!
Thank you. Profound respect, recognition and admiration for sharing all the knowledge that’s being shared in this interview, as well as for the way it’s presented, very eloquently and precisely. Such an important topic for everyone to discuss and understand since it explains the origin of psycho-emotional (mental) health disorders that unfortunately many times entail a life of pain for the person experiencing them and those around them.
I’ve been a dad for 18 months to a baby boy and it’s the best feeling ever .seeing that boy after work or in the morning, or putting him to bed, just hugging him and holding him ,feeling his warmth and giving him warmth , seeing him smile, laugh and seeing him happy . Being good to your children, is what I call success . And may God grant me it . Ameen.
The argument around stress sensitivity and attachment needs is very important and valid , but she lost me claiming it can be explained by one gene, and that “there is one gene for schizophrenia “. There are hundreds of genes involved in risk for schizophrenia and no single one will cause any of the symptoms .
Schizophrenia itself can be created/ Expressed due to psychological and environs effects. Like how cocomalon LITERALLY GIVES KIDS ADHD. ENVIROMENTAL is sorry important
Yet another explanation of why the most important job in the world is parenting and at the same time, the most difficult job in the world both combined into one everything you do or don’t do can result in that childs success or failure…
If you see or know a mom who has made this decision, please tell then thank you. It is SO hard to avoid the siren call of work from all of society to stay home, often completely isolated, to nurture your children. -mom of 6 ages 12 and under
Thank you for the reassurance I don’t feel as alone knowing that you get it. I’m a first time mom. While my husband works I stay home it’s different from what I am used to. I am happy that I have the chance to stay home with my baby because I know a lot of women don’t get to do that even my own mother she had to go work it’s not ideal at all. It’s scary having to leave your kids with random people when you have to go to work. I don’t know how I’d be able to handle that kind of situation.
Remember, part of parenting is controlling the children's diet. Before you medicate, try reducing their total carbs¹ to below 20g per day. Turns out, keeping sugar intake to a minimum has a huge positive impact on mental health and behavior. *_Who could have guessed??_* Note¹: Carbohydrates are literally just sugar molecules connected together. Yes, carbs are sugars.
I sorta agree, but I think focusing on macros is the wrong approach. The right approach is emphasizing a variety of whole foods, which includes fruit, which is high in fructose.
That's not a smart take. Your body needs carbs to function,and esp for children that are still developing. If you put a small child on a 20g carb diet I hope child protective services kick your door in. Far more important is the glycemic index foods have to regulate the insulin reaction. If anything, skip the fruit juice and sweets (and most definitely soda) but fruits or some good, adequate hearty meals are a vital part of good nutrition. Kids do need energy. And they need to learn how to responsibly consume and deal with the unhealthier food choices incl ice cream or what have you. That doesn't magically happen when they're adults. That's a learned skill.
CORN SYRUP. WE DON'T NEED ANY. But natural is fine.. but this whole nutrition is compelling maliciously taught. Vaisala flip the food pyramid of old on its head and you'll have a better middle straight away. THEY CONTROL US WITH FOOD. HEY AWAY FROM PROCESSED FOOD AND FFS DON'T GIVE KIDS RITILAN IS LITERALLY SPEED
@@catalyst3713 Fructose causes the human liver to produce and store fat cells. It also requires your body to break down ATP (the energy molecule) in order to process fructose. Chronic fructose consumption is a major source of non-alcoholic fatty liver diseasee. I only eat fructose once a year when the berries in my garden are in season for a few weeks.
When babies are young, if they have 2 or 3 other brothers or sisters, chances are they'll have them when mom or dad isn't there... But, when babies are young, how could they *not* need constant attention? Look at how long our development is... Babies need attention. Their brains are *actively* developing from birth to 3-4. There are periods of time where it's "Use it or lose it" regarding a particular type of development... If more people understood that, the world would be a better place. It's at our collective peril that we ignore our fundamental biological imperatives, most especially when we are raising children.. I have a great deal of sadness regarding how thin families are stretched these days. I'm 45, and in my time I've seen things just degrade, and degrade, and degrade. Breaks my heart to see how hard it is for people to start and maintain families.
I’ve been broke my whole life because of this. At 57 I’m only just now starting to try and work through this. What’s worse is I then did it to my son not knowing any better. 🙏🏻
Personally I believe Dr. Spock is hugely to blame. My mother would tell me when I was very young that children were born manipulative and it was a parents job to break it and make them submit. Funny, she was buried being praised as a wonderful mother...
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the feeling that you feel the intellect and intelligence capabilities, and the behavior is of someone else and now that person is living his life without such feelings or any character.
You must end that.
Thank you for the informative and inspirational videos and programs. They are very timely for us. Please keep up the good work. As always, even when one thinks we may already know some of this stuff somehow hearing it again makes one think wow I did not see it or think about that nuance that way. Have a question. Are the audio only versions, / podcasts (?) on the website or at Substack? Cheers!
Hey parents, lets not forget that our children and babies can see our eyes glued to our phones. Try harder to keep your phones away when you’re with the little ones 🚨
Great point. Many parents aren't aware of the damage they're inadvertently doing
Yes! Say it again!!
Too few likes on this comment.😢
100%
I put mine away when my son wants to talk, and when I’m in the middle of a text or something I ask him to hold on until I’m finished so I can give him my full attention.
I needed to hear this!
It's a gift to be able to stay home with your child
I needed to read this. Thank you ❤
In Europe women stay 3 years at home with child.
As long as your partner supports you financially, physically, emotionally and spiritually, and has your name on EVERYTHING (house/car/bank accounts) and you have access to all financial information.
@carlywiebe3213 all those other things yes would be nice and how it should be but in the end just being able to be with your kid in the early years as they grow and have their first moments is a gift it sucks people have to miss all those things things they will never ever get back things that can't be bought just to have to survive
@@alenaadamkova5322really. Never seen that happen, Ever. Never ever never lol
World is too expensive, 9 months or a year is the norm. Unless you are unemployed then yeah 3 years 10 year even 18 years is doable
I breast fed both of my babies until they were 3 years old. If they cried they got a boob so they didn’t cry. Now they are 12& 11. Both are breast free and tremendously independent and emotionally intelligent children. --I on the other hand was abandoned at 3months old and bounced from home to home thereafter. The point is we can heal and raise healthy children.
It is hard to breastfeed and do it so long when you have no example or support from your mother or from anyone really!! I am doing it now and no one cares or understands how complex and difficult it can be in the toddler years.
@@Maggie-zb7gxle leche league
At 12 I would hope they are breast free lol
I am proud of you for making the world a better place and leaving pain and hurt in the past. Seriously proud I don’t know you but I love you
@@Maggie-zb7gxjust do the best you can. Take it easy on yourself your not perfect but you are perfect for your child
Maybe children are actually more important than anything else you might do.
Hands down.
Been saying this for decades…USA Adults have all been brain washed to chase bull 💩 material gains…and increase tax revenue for the govt…..vice raising their own children….this is the foundational/root cause of 99% of our nations ailments…whether it be gun violence, drugs etc….it all starts at home and then is compounded by greed and oligarchs running our govt. it’s honestly a simple but not easy fix to get the nation on track….
100% 😢
Gee. Like it's a great responsibility or something. But think of the ghetto in 2004... idiocracy
Ikr
I’ve always HAD to work. There was no safety net. There were no indulgent grandparents or siblings eager to be aunts and uncs. And yet I raised a child without an attachment disorder because in the time I did have, I focused on the child. You can raise a healthy child while working to support your family. It’s tough but it CAN be done. Put down your phone and don’t give a screen to a toddler.
Valid point. I'm father, kids know when you engage with them. My 1 year and 3 month kid know when its time for him, every night me and my wife turn off TV, no cellphone, that's a really god time and he enjoy a lot. He watches TV, unfortunally is impossible don't give this screen for him, but tv could be regulated, so we turn off always. Here in Brazil we have public daycare ( you can put the kid in since 1 yrs, but government don't want this, so families tend to give kids with the extended family to after 2 yrs put in daycare ). The fact of we been a matrilocal society, make Grandmas and aunts help to raise kids. But the problem is specially Gen X, REALLY think that smartphone is good for kids. We here have a really hard time to give gen X aways fro our kids, lots of helicopter parenting, and "gentile pareting", that is actually going REALLY bad. Parts of Gen Z here is really messed up, not all, because we are a poor country, so many kid have alone hangout time. But we are copying USA fast.
Another thing that we having here is the autism fever. Lots of Gen X parents are addicted to think their kids have autism, if the kid is too much active, probably is autism, if is too much calm, probably autism. But generally the kids are as active as the parents are back then, but oddly the Gen X parents do'nt like active kids when they are little kids, but then when they're teens the same parents hate that they aren't as active as they are in their teen age. It doesn't make any sense.
Absolutely!
Yes, everyone in human history had to work their butts off 24 seven, mothers and fathers, but yet children always knew who their parents were. It is only recently that the parents choice of watching TH-cam or being engaged and non-essential things and distractions have led to this, in addition to, drunk and alcohol effects.
They're still missing out unfortunately we have to work!!! I believe most people would love to spend all their time together with the kids
How do you know that your child does not have an attachment disorder?
“Whenever a child has an issue, it’s the parent that has the issue.” 💥 Man! So powerful. But it takes a very mature and willing parent to honestly look at themselves.
Someone PLEASE tell this to boomers who gave issues to all their kids
@@Ruffles2012not all Boomers gave their problems to their kids, but this is a generational problem, that’s for sure.
I largely agree with this but I've known people raised by a single working parent who pretty much raised themself that kept on the straight and narrow. Then I've known others who had loving parents who went south. Why?
Such wise words ! Thank you for opening my eyes and how I can guide my child.
I came here to stress that! Wowwww
The maternity leave in the Czech Republic is 3 years. I understand why now.
Here in the US if your in a good company you'll get max 3months
@@DucomaVet in US people value things more than children it seems.
Wow
Which of the following statements is pure BS? Your post or the following quote "In the Czech Republic, maternity leave is a financial benefit that provides 70% of a mother's regular salary for up to 28 weeks after giving birth to a single child. For mothers giving birth to multiple children, the benefit is paid for up to 37 weeks"
And their nation produces next to nothing of any significance.
That made me emotional. My first son was like “Bobby” very clingy, eczema prone, always crying and hard to soothe. I loved and love this baby so very much, I poured him with abundant love and love and everyone told me I was spoiling him. I didn’t care. My mother instincts always told me I needed to give him extra love and extra attention and I’m SO GLAD I did! Today, he’s 5 yo and he is SO STRONG! So kind to others! So smart, affectionate, secure, and Mature for his age! He will lecture dad or other people some times of “don’t talk bad things about people on their backs” and we laugh that he is a little police officer as he is always making sure we are all safe and doing the right things. He apologizes to me if he snaps at me and says mommy I love you, I’m sorry I was rude to you. I was very stressed. I’m so proud of him. He is everything I could ever ask God for, he is my diamond and my perfect love- in the sense that I wouldn’t change one bit of him!! Watching this video made me realize I did the right thing all along. And I love science, I’m a nurse myself and I studied genetics and epigenetics for fun as I love this topic. I’m so happy I found this video ❤ please mommas, FOLLOW YOUR HEARTS! Don’t let society disrupt this love only you know you have
Thank you for sharing your story. My baby is very independent but I am always close in case he needs me. When he does want me to carry him around I always do it and I don't care what people say. I had him so I could give him all the love I am able to give.
Awwe I love this 😭
A lot is put on the mothers, but how much support do mothers get in our society? We live in a culture that does not honor or support childrearing. Many mothers have no support structure and they suffer in silence alone.. and try as they might to do their best, the toll it takes affects the children. We need real community again.
100% agree with this
That’s called a Family.
Mothers shouldn't have children without fathers who support child-rearing.
Absolutely ✋✋ We moved to a rural small town in 2018, and I found a lot of support here for young families + mom's. Older women have offered to babysit, store clerks are patient with my kids, and everyone seems to understand that children take work! I have felt so much love here; whereas in my 10 years in the city, I knew 1 neighbour ...
@@ks21870 Also, the other mothers who say their babies and toddlers are “boring,” and “ can’t WAIT to get back to work” demean the heck out of parents who feel and behave polar opposite, I guess to be self congratulatory.
I’m watching all these videos and am not a parent yet. Does anyone else mourn that their own parents weren’t as thoughtful as people like these?
Absolutely!!!
Every single time i educate myself about sth child related..
No. No one person is a great parent in every way.
@@jomercurio1520 some are bad in allot of ways. That’s just the truth of life. I’m glad I’m ok now
Yes!
Nothing you do is more important than being a parent. Nothing you do effects the world more.
Bingo.
Amen
I agree, if you're referring to both sexes. Usually, this is only aimed at mothers.
I was the type of mom who had my babies growing up either in my arms or on my back. I quit my job when my son was born. My children never needed to cry more than one second to get mom's attention because I was fluent in their baby language. Their needs always got met instantly.
No, they weren't spoiled, they were just loved and cared for. They grew up happy, smart, kind, curious, and academically very successful, one MDPhD and one JD from a top law school.
2 parent household?
That's great. I felt horrible cause I didn't nurture my first one like I was supposed to. He is now 23 and has anxiety. My 2nd and 3rd children i was there for them 100%, and they are both social butterflies who are always willing to take a chance.
You were very fortunate since you likely had a reliable breadwinner, that's wonderful🌞👍🏻👍🏻.
I agree with you 💯
And this is what Western society is trying to get women to turn their backs to. Good for you for putting your children first in your life!!
It crushes my heart that this wasn't the message my parents were getting when I was born. 😶
I left my job in radiology to be home with my baby. Now they shame me for “not contributing to the household”
@@weekendnomad5038 "they?" Do you mean your family, or do you mean society?
But it's why we try harder. Bad parenting makes you seek out how to be a better parent.
@@weekendnomad5038....As their own kids end up messed up in various ways if they have any kids at all in the 1st place.
Grow up n get a life.
I am so happy and content that I left my stressful career when I got pregnant. I had my child everyday of my life and her life for the last 9 years. She is probably the happiest child Inever met. I don’t regret anything.
I got pregnant when I left a stressful job. Only then did I realise that parenting beats any paid job I could have had!
OK, the hours are long and the pay is rubbish - but the rewards are infinite.
You're very lucky. My baby has HIE Moderate due to birth asphyxia. I'm making her cry daily with physical therapy. Have been since she came out of NICU.
@@jfcdisguy We are lucky, we know that. I'm sorry you need to do this, and hope it helps, and gets easier. ♥
My mum had to go back to work when I was 3 months old, in 3rd world countries staying home isn’t really an option. I don’t have any attachment disorders or mental health issues. I’m happily married and have done pretty well for myself. I think all extremes are bad and if you’re a mum and you’re reading this: IT’s OK IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO BE MORE THAN JUST A MOM! I love and admire my mom in fact! She’s my best friend.. so if you decide to go to work, your kids will be okay 😊
My parents, especially my dad, left me with severe attachment disorder. I can remember having panic attacks as a small child if I was left alone in a room with my dad. He was a rage-aholic. But there is hope, and I have healed a lot through therapy. I'm so glad I went no-contact with him over 10 years ago.
I'm happy to hear this
Are you me? Because I went through the very same thing with my dad, who I called both a workaholic and a rage-aholic, growing up, at the same ages. The only difference is I haven’t gone no contact with my dad. I’m just very low contact with him.
Love yourself. Understand yourself and LOVE yourself. Your father had issues that he never worked through but you did. :) Love yourself.
Some videos need to go viral for the benefit of the future generations of mankind.
I am a Sensitive guy. I still need the presence and love and some physical comfort, like a hug, to feel the connection. I am also by default welcoming people I meet, taking the first step (till some of them come out as undeserving, as I find out later)
After hearing what the doctor said in the video, I really thank my mom so much for loving me throughout my childhood, letting me be near her(as a toddler I clung to her) and love her, and that she cared for me, and for listening to me even though she was tired after her job 😢❤❤ Mom has always been my hero!! Love you maa! ❤❤❤😘
This is so heartwarming ❤
I just had my first child, a boy and I hope he loves me the way you love your ma ❤️. He's the greatest thing I've ever created and the best thing I'll ever do in my life is be his momma. I hope you and your family are doing well! :)
@@nooneuknow48Congratulations and sending blessings to you & family 🙏😇
It’s not just a lack of paid maternity leave. Our society as a whole is not pro-family at all. Parents, especially mothers, are basically expected to withdraw from society for several years until their children can behave like little adults. It’s considered socially unacceptable to take young children to so many places these days. Segregating children is the norm so that people feel entitled to not have to see or hear them in public spaces like on planes and in restaurants and stores. Parents feel guilty for wanting to participate in society with their children in tow because of the public discourse about children. People would rather see, a wall, and hear a DOG in a cafe than a baby.
@biblia843 to be fair, if people actually taught their children how to behave in public, it would not be an issue.
@@ineedhoezThis. It’s not that people have a problem with children. It’s that too many parents these days don’t teach their children to behave.
Our society is not pro-family! And whos fault is that?
This is so true and sad - especially in bigger city centers
@@ineedhoezThere are age appropriate behaviours. Young children are not always going to be well behaved - they don't understand the rules of society, they get overwhelmed easily and don't understand the difference between public and private the way you do.
The other part of this, is our society is not built to create conditions that enable parents to not be stressed. Like the society we have is not based on strong families creating a strong nation, it’s a bunch of groups in conflict trying to exploit each other because that’s what the incentive politically have created.
Also "community events" as National childrens day
in 80s and 90s children loved these trips in nature, playing sports, then they got some "awards" for their effort.
It snurturing for the community of people, build the bonds and friendships.
I'm just old enough to recall the 80sc and 90s. Sadly my parents didn't socialize properly so I only ever got to see these communities and events from the outside
We literally had this in 2003 - why do you think the neo-commies want everyone to belive y2k was racist
And itsy like dude that was the calmest time in history
Society is a response to what people want and do. If women began to stay home more, society would adjust around them. Need to stop the voices that tie a woman’s worth so tightly to her job.
@@TheThiaminBlog it’s more a symptom
Well I’m glad I’m doing this right in raising my child. If you can’t care for them don’t have them, that’s brutal truth right there.
I’m a Professional Nanny & have been for well over 20 years!
I am considered by payment standards to be a high profile Nanny & I wholeheartedly agree with what she’s saying!
Mama’s if you can stay home with your babies I sincerely suggest that you do!
You’ll appreciate your efforts later…
I was a nanny too & that's just another side of the same coin. The parents pay strangers to care for & bond with their children for the parents convenience & then they break those bonds & secure attachments when the job ends. Only a very small percent stay in touch with the children/families
That is why I never understood the idea of a separate nursery room. All our children slept with us, (in a co-sleeper baby bed) for at least the first 3 years of their life. We have also learned to recalibrate our methods according to each child's needs. Both parent and child grow in character as we rear our kids.
So true!. My daughter of 5 slept in my bed near me till she was like 3. And my son of 3 can't sleep till I sleep next to him. . When he sleeps I go to my own room but at night he comes searching for me.
I think it really depends. I was nervous about the nursery. It’s why we waited so long with both of ours.
Our first was a bad sleeper. She rolled and kicked in her sleep like a wild child….
We moved her out at 18 months because we had a second on the way and didn’t want to wait for him to get there. (Didn’t want her to blame the new baby.)
We knew it wouldn’t be healthy for our child to be regularly woken up nor us to have two kids waking us up. Nor the new baby to be woken up by her. So for everyone’s sanity (especially my post partum self since I had BAD ppd with our first) we made that switch.
Our second was a better sleeper but still woke up several times a night. We moved him out at 14 months because we let him sleep in his sisters room for a night due (because I would have woken him up every few minutes otherwise… bad work night) and he slept the entire night without crying. 😬
We tried it a few more times with the same results. It was PAINFUL to fully acknowledge that he slept better without us.
Now he only wakes up mid sleep every few nights and we always go up to comfort him. Same with our daughter when she wakes up.
Our oldest is also fully aware of the camera(not wifi connected) and will walk up to it to talk to us. So she knows she isn’t alone at night. We let them play in their room before bed as independent. We continuously play and interact with them from the moment they wake up until their “independent play” time. That moment is also important for them.
We kept our child in our room with us (in his own crib, we never bedshared) until he was a year old. He slept horribly the whole time, I thought it was just how he was as a baby. But as soon as we moved him to his own room, he started sleeping through the night & waking up happy. He HATED everything sleep related before, now he loves bedtime. I guess we never realized how we are apparently the most annoying sleeps lol! We do get a lot of together time though
Just about to have our first child and trying to get things right (i know you can do all the "right" things and it still wont work but we just want to follow the best evidence and prepare), and I'm wandering whether this sort of thing will lead your kids to struggle to be independent no? Any time they hit adversity, won't they instantly need their parents? I also worry that if we follow this process we will end up with a very spoilt daughter?
My daughter had colic and I carried her around, soothing her, the house for hours and hours, practically sleepwalking, for the first 8 months. It was tough. But after seeing this, that may have been an incredibly valuable time.
Look at what is going on in our schools. When parent's are unable to take care of their kids themselves. Daycare, k-12 public schools. Kids are being raised by society instead for the vast majority of their day too.
True
It's a horrible mistake that gets sold as the "dream" to most 🚺 from childhood, it's unfortunate🤦🏻♀️.
Socialism - Communist manifesto - Destroy the family 😅
Things going according to plan. 😢
If you actually look at how humans evolved, children were always raised by the society. There were seven caretakers for any for one infant. The problem is that we went from having seven caretakers for a child to one caretaker. The nuclear family model is the problem.
We used to grow up and multi-generational houses with aunties and uncles. We also had extended kinship where you had other families and people in the community that took care of the kids. We implemented the nuclear family and put it on Mom and Dad. Dad has to go to work and mom has to stay home. One person cannot be the sole source of attachment for a child.
It's failing because it was never designed to work in the first place. The nuclear family wasn't designed to raise children it was designed to sell products.
I was a stay at home parent for ten years. I was a present parent for all my kids - and my kids have ADHD. They are grounded, emotionally healthy adults living amazingly creative lives. Let’s not blame neurodivergence on parenting styles.
AND let’s not blame people for needing to work. Kids are very expensive to raise.
❤As an early childhood educator, I whole heartedly agree. Diving deeper in my childhood trauma, the lack of attachment with my parents negatively carved my introverted personality growing up. The first few years are so critical.
Same!! My mom was single mom who went back to work when I was 10months old. She was never super nurturing even now I know she loved me.
Now I take care of young children (1-5y) and believe most of the kids with issues just haven't had enough time and love from their parent
I just think 8 hours away from your mom when you’re an actual baby (0-3) is simply a crazy amount of hours…😢
Agreed
My single mom did 10 to 12, nights, 1000 miles away from her family. She "couldn't" find a babysitter who'd stay up. At almost 2, in spring, she went to leadership training and put me on a plane alone to go from Alaska to Oklahoma, where her very old parents lived (she had me at 40, and she was the youngest sibling).
So... yeah. I agree. 8 hours a day away is too much. I've been broken all my life, and I'd rather not see anyone else go through it.
I ch couldild never be away from my baby for 8 hours!!!!! But I get to be a SAHM so I am blessed to never have to leave her!!!
In the USA day-cares take an infant, 6 weeks old for up to 10 hours!!!! It is cruel IMO. Ratios are going up and up bc there is a crazy demand for daycare. And low qualified people doing the job with a low salary... Daycare is not kindergarten and ppl don't understand it. There is not a degree to take care of an infant even tho it is the most fragile phase. CA has a 1:4 ratio for infant 😢 some states were talking 1:5!!
@@dde716In Canada you take a year of training and 3 ECE practicums to be licensed for 30 month to age 5. Once you have this certification than you can take another 8-9 months of school plus more practicum hours to become an infant toddler educator. Quality care of young children is 100% equal to the amount of experience and education a care giver has. Educators have First Aid with Infant/Child CPR and a Criminal Record Check.. Our ratio is 1:4 but because we have a year of employment insurance covered maternity and parental leave (if you have Nerf previous employment hours banked) most infants don't enter care until they are 9 months to a year old. It would be super scary to be leaving an infant, especially one younger with any caregiver who does not at least meet these qualifications! Where I live in BC I believe in infant toddler educator makes at least around $35 an hour.
I have always said this and will always do. Raising a child is going to be the hardest job you will EVER do in your life. To raise a next generation, and we are a complex human being. And everything you do, say or done to your child will impact them when they become an adult. We are the by product of our parents/guardian. It is disgusting to see when parents take no responsibility or accountability when their child turn out something wrong. You just don't know what really goes on in a child life behind close door. Parents need to step up, no pitty party, and take it seriously when you are going to have a child. And be selfless for once in your life. 😂
100% agreed
I needed this reminder of how blessed I am to be able to work from home and stay close to my child. I could definitely get better work for better pay, but we do well enough and I am grateful.
I held my baby tonight until she fell asleep. I put her in the crib and she was happy to sleep by herself. Then I found his video which made me realize that needs to be routine. Thank you!
I'm very fortunate that my wife and I work from home. So our little one is always with us.
Just remember that being physically present, doesn’t necessarily mean you are truly “present” to your child. If we are preoccupied with other tasks, it’s difficult to focus on what our children need✌️
@@DanielleProvenzale Absolutely correct and such a good point.
@@caseybledsoe770 Thank you! I posted that b/c my mom worked nights and then had to be with us kids during the day while my father worked and although she did her best, there were definitely times she did not have the energy or patience needed to deal with us. Additionally, nowadays I see a lot of young mothers/ fathers preoccupied with their phones or placing kids in front of screens or given too many toys in an effort to keep them busy, which is not good. God bless you and your family🙌🏻!
A nurturing loving parent is extremely valuable.
I’d go even further and say it’s absolutely necessary👍
When he asked her what an attachment disorder is, she told him the cause of the attachment disorder, not what the attachment disorder actually is.
Agreed I thought the same thing.
They are the same thing. Your mother is your first attachment which is a model for all attachments going forward. An attachment disorder affects the bond between the mother and the infant causing trust issues. It can happen in neglect and in over-indulgence. When a child cries, the mother responds. This should be consistent which helps the child understand how to interact with the world. A child who receive vastly different responses to the same behavior will not understand consequences or connect their actions to the behavior of others. They will also learn to not trust those that they are supposed to trust.
Anything that is not a secure attachment style. Like avoidant or anxious attachment style.
There are several disorders that stem from an attachment disorder.
It's an answer that actually matters. Throwing out definitions sometimes isn't helpful
I am from Russia, where maternity leave is 3 years. You get $8,000 USD government support for the first and subsequent children. The government subsidizes your mortgage payments, and everything is done to support families. When I came to the US and had my child here, I realized that there is little to no help for US moms. Society is kind to moms, but the system just does not support them. Seriously how the mom who has barely 3 months of paid leave, can afford herself to stay with the child longer than that?
Это в рублях или в долларов? Не помню что давали полмиллиона руб.
@@TheBakingGirlShow почитайте про мат капитал 524 тысячи на первого ребенка
The fathers support their wives and kids.
That's what makes capitalism great again! Every man for himself!
The Marxist world can have their normal gun free society and live in peace.
We won't have any of that in America
😂
@@Be1New2You3 are there many men now who eager to marry?
I have a severe attachment disorder and PTSD from being an unwanted pregnancy & child. I was not raised the same way as my older siblings. All I got from my family was rejection, disappointment and blame.
My mom’s identity revolved around her high IQ children. Because I had the highest IQ I was supposed to out perform my siblings in everything. I had to be perfect. If I got a 99 on a test I missed one. I failed. There were such high expectations of me and then my parents did everything they could to undermine me and sabotage my success.
I’m 59 and I think the only people I have ever bonded to are my children. I feel like my whole life was a set-up for failure. I contracted a serious chronic illness in my 20’s and it was a relief to go on disability. Even though I did well in school and work and received many awards and commendations, but because of how I was raised I had severe impostor syndrome. I had nothing but success and praise, but I always had the feeling that somehow I was going to be “caught” or exposed and publicly humiliated.
so sorry for what you went through,, know that this is a reflection of your parents, not of you!
I did exactly what this lady is talking about when my little one was born and we are so in tune with each other she is a pleasure to take care of we have such a great bond and her intelligence is off the charts the best education and action for our kids is nurture whole heartedly from day 1 they are a blessing ...so get off the phones and down to the parks beaches mountains and forrests for quality adventures amd make wonderful memories 🎉
I raised my first child with a healthy attachment. Stayed home from work for 3 years, breast fed 15 months, coslept, carried them on my chest or back for 2 years while making sure they had a lot of physical activity and socialization with other children while I was close by, etc. Emotionally they’re sensitive but has no problems with independent play, immune system is the best in the family, extraverted, and very intuitive. My second child was brought up opposite. I had trouble breast feeding so only 3 months, was in daycare before 1 years old because I went back to work, we didn’t cosleep and I didn’t carry them around past 6 months. Second child has a difficult time coping with change, doesn’t like to have independent play, has a lot more negative emotions and doesn’t like to openly communicate when something is frustrating. My mental and physical health took a massive hit also. My second child was even written up after 3 years of good behavior at the daycare for finally snapping and started threatening the teacher and throwing chairs. We chalked it up to stress and not feeling safe to communicate feelings with the teacher considering this was the 6th caretaker they had since starting daycare. That’s when I knew I was doing the right thing staying home with my first child. I was made to feel guilty for quitting work and wanting to have a more attachment style parenting. It felt so natural and I didn’t understand why people were so rigid. It lacks common sense to me. I understand if someone can’t financially stay home with their child. That’s not the issue but society saying a woman should go back to work a few weeks after having a traumatizing event happening to the body. Or if there’s a male partner, they are also going through a major life event and I do believe men’s mental health should be looked at as well, and a vulnerable baby is expected to be with another caretaker after a few weeks entering the world. Both my children are in grade school and now I feel like I have to fix a lot of behaviors and figure out how to teach my youngest how to cope with emotions and communicate those feelings.
Wow people don’t like to see you taking time to be with your child these days. Unless they feel you can afford it.. but that’s not their choice to make!
My little baby is sleeping with me ( we kicked out daddy from the bed 😅).She is 14 months old and she got into our bed when she was 2 months old.Every night I watch her sleeping next to me ❤ she is growing soo fast.I dont know if it is because i got her in my 40s but I want to be with her non-stop.I don't want to go to work(while she is so small)or to put her in the other room to sleep..I know it is common in USA that baby has her own room from a birth day-but I could not imagine to leave her alone in other room, no way!..and you know what,we never had sleepless nights-,from the moment she was sleeping next to me,she was waking up just for breastfeeding and it is still like that...
I feel the same way my son is 3 years old he has slept in my bed since being an infant I feel like I want to be there for him and I'm scared to miss out on things since hes growing so fast
I also had my child after 40, he's been sleeping with me since he's 2 months. And me too, I sometimes see him sleep, and feel so grateful I can spend a lot of time with him!
Would never risk this from all the stories of SIDS. Also it’s better on the relationship
My son is 14 months old and he started co sleeping in our bed since he was 2 months old. I never had sleep issues after that. When he wakes up, I am instantly available for a feed and he falls back to sleep. I am loving these precious times.
@@user-kiwikindall that SIDS-Fear is so made up 🙈. Its natural to sleep right next to your baby.
It’s amazing how much damage can be caused by too little love and attention. ❤
aimentalhealthadvisor AI fixes this. Attachment shapes child's mental health.
Every single kid in my extended family, ages 4-10, are in counseling because they are having a very tough time with emotional regulation. Either private practice or required through school after repeated social issues.
There are so many more factors to consider than what this video is saying. There are elements that are known to be neurotoxins that all children are exposed to. I don't want to have my comment deleted, but think what all kids get at well visits. If people would research the ingredients that are known to have neurological consequences, they would understand why children are plagued with @utism, adhd, anxiety, and sensory overload. Don't take my word for it. Research for yourself. A huge side effect of these ingredients that are being put directly into the body to prevent viral infection is difficulty with self-regulation of emotions due to sensory overload because of what certain ingredients do to the brain. It cannot be a coincidence that when the amount of these things were increased astronomically we saw generations of kids with these problems. I hope i did not offend, so sorry the kids you know are suffering. 😢
It’s social media and bad parents
Its crazy how your childhood shaped how you will raise kids. And how you raise your kids affects their whole life and their kids and their kids and their kids. How you act affects 100’s of people.
Unless someone decides to stop the cycle.
I failed my daughter in the first couple of years, I was there and tried my best but due to postnatal depression I wasn’t emotionally present. She could feel it. Everything felt forced and unnatural , I didn’t have support and i eventually learnt to manage but I feel so guilty that I didn’t enjoy the first few years or bond with her properly. I carry guilt and shame everyday. I love her so much, always have, I just didn’t know how to be a single parent with depression and feeling lost. I’m not playing the victim I’m genuinely asking… is there nothing I can do to heal her at a core level. It’s very depressing to think that’s it , I’ve ruined her mental health and nervous system for life.
Not everyone can stay home. Things just happen in life, and we all have different cards to play. It doesn't mean we should stop having kids. We can raise good kids with a good mentality with both parents working
It’s videos like this that make me feel normal. I’m 26 years old, I’m a mother of 6 and a wife. My husband works full time and I care and homeschool our little ones. It’s not until 2:30AM that I take the time to have alone time with myself to read a few different books/ scroll through YT/ read articles, etc. My mother and siblings tend to hyper critic my life and always come up to me with a demeanor of, “oh it must be hard” or “yeah hopefully you can go to school once your kids are older” but in reality I feel bad for them. I’m very well educated, I manage the finances and file our own income tax. I’m also preparing myself to learn bookkeeping and expanding my knowledge on income taxes for when my husband and I have our first business with Gods blessing. Also everyone’s life is different and everyone goes through life’s stages in different orders and it’s important to remind ourselves that self reflection is key to one’s success.
Well done, you are brilliant and so capable. I am thrilled to see more and more young families like yours showing that there is a better way. God bless you and your family. When I was homeschooling 30 years ago I was continually asked if it was legal and even criticized when I was expecting baby #3 by random strangers. I was asked ‘why are you having another baby’? Our great regret is that we did not have more and truly stood firmer against the tide of negative public opinion.
🙌🙌
You are 26 and have 6 kids???
@@aro2103 Yes. That’s exactly what I stated in my first comment.
@@fixURattitudehow old were u when u got your first kid?
I practiced attachment parenting with my now 25 year old daughter - I did work and she had a babysitter but it was the same sitter for most of those three years and both sitters were very warm and attached to her. Still, at four and five years old I could see in her dance class that while the other children could remain focused my child could not. She wasn’t destructive or angry or disregulated. She just did her own thing. She would come back into participation but then drift out again. She loves her class and loved her teacher. She hyper focused on the things that are of interest to her - so when the teacher would incorporate a new step or move she would hyper focus in to learn it - but as that became repetitive, she drifted away and made up her own dances incorporating the new step. ADHD is a very real thing and it isn’t a lack of parent attention or attachment. I’ve seen it in kids with stay at home parents and kids with working parents. This is still the way that my daughter functions - it affects the music she listens too, the books she reads, the way that she chose her profession. She needs space for creativity and to change things up and to use her own style within that profession and what happens is that her students are incredibly engaged and move from lackluster to energized learners. Her enthusiasm inspires them. Do kids need more eyes on attention from parents? Absolutely - have only one tv, no fridges in bedrooms. Go to their stuff - and make sure they have healthy stuff like outdoors, and goals, and support. Be friends with their friends parents. Play video games with them. But demonizing the way a portion of the populations brain functions doesn’t solve anything. Some kids need that medicine and if they don’t have it prescribed they will def medicate with alcohol and drugs.
This lady is spot on. Had we constructed office building to have more solo offices for young moms we could have just accepted the young mom will be a less productive with their kid is there - until they are in school or whatever - but that we will all be so much fricking richer with healthy adults all around us. This is just an example of how we could work around this btw.
I love her and how she teaches how important Father and mother are in our childrens life! Because todays world its soooo disgusting how everyone is working and its normalized having alot of children and not staying home with that ( the father can work the mother can stay or vise versa) but its best for the mother to stay! ( except if u have a financial problem or ur sinking in bills) than sell ur car,home( live in an apartment) bc nothing is more important than ur children and trust me ur gonna be much happier staying with them and focusing on the good stuff and really enjoy every step! ♥️🤲🏽
As a foster mom this topic is of huge interest to me. I have always been interested in this and done my best with my biological kids (14-23y olds now). Now as a foster parent I put a lot of thought on what is my non biological kids attachmental foundation and how it affects them in the moment. Having some sense on the foundation helps me in how I guide them and how I react to their behavior. Calm and accepting environment helps them a lot. And humour.
💛
Children should be with the adults that are emotionally healthy, whole, mentally stable, etc. If a parent stays home all day with their children, but the mother or father is mentally ill, unstable or toxic, the result is not secure attachment or a feeling of safety and security.
Bingo! We have generations upon generations of cumulative bad parenting by example. Nobody knows how to be a good parent nowadays. But nobody can replace a real parent.
That's why society has to be supportive to mothers. Better to go out of your way with that than have depressed and exhausted mothers.
This is where self-care culture could become very useful! Don’t let yourself suffer and become unstable in front of your kids
That part!!!!
As a father of a 4 month old this is the kind of information I need that I never learned. Thank you.
Stress:acute & chronic: trigger amygdala which tells the gut through the vagus nerve to turn off the Brunners glands in the gut which actually work to feed the microbiology in our gut. And while this could affect others one big microbe it affects us lacto-bacillus. This then changes the tone of the vagus nerve and makes the amygdala and anxiety and stuff more likley to be triggered in amygdala across time. Thus is a bio/psycho reason they tell you to consume fermented foods a lot because that’s one way to buffer the fact that under stress your gut stops feeding your microbes and lacto bacillus populations a major one goes down. So learn to do lacto-bacillus fermentation by learning to make your own starter at home. You can make your own yogurt even that has a much higher population of microbes. (Greek yogurt is regular that’s just strained)
Plus often if you have a starter culture of lacto in your fridge, and it runs out of food, it actually goes dormant so even if it’s been in there for a long time, it often comes back if you feed it. Plus it’s a facultative anerobe, it survives in oxygen but thrives without oxygen. If you lacto ferment pickles or veggies etc, you use a brine, if you make yogurt you just mix milk in and watch videos on how to do this. The trick is learn to create your own starter culture from scratches. Heck you can even make flavored fizzy lacto baccciljs drinks. Other fermentations like vinegar are also worth learning plus a sour dough starter too and that can be woke up too. They are like pets learn to keep them going.
Erica Komisar is amazing. We need to have more of these “real” discussions. Give it to us straight. Thank you.
Thank you for putting her full name. I didn't see it in description of video.
I wish my parents accepted this advice when it really mattered. I’m at the point of wanting estrangement when I finally am independent.
Get your head straight and then start to psychologically process how to reconcile. Even if they are wrong
Cuz ib 20yrs... trust me dude u know what I'm saying
@@glytchd no I’m not interested in reconciliation while they do nothing to resolve any of the conflicts or trauma.
You wouldn’t tell someone who is being abused by a romantic partner to just keep taking abuse. You don’t get a free pass because you’re someone parent for abuse.
I can see your point of view but also to judge is to be ignorant because we are not sure what our own parents went through. It’s generational trauma and most likely your parents went through worse. We have to break the chain and be the change you want to see. Seek therapy, better yourself and maybe eventually you can forgive your parents 🙏
@@guerrerok0418 you’re judging and making assumptions right now that I haven’t worked anything out I have CPTSD and they’re still refusing to go to put real work in.
You don’t go back to normal after putting your kid in life threatening situations without even taking accountability for your actions.
I’m not going to live a life feeling infected that’s what connection with them feels like at this point. I don’t care if you or they “think” they suffered more it’s not an excuse for abuse, and you need to learn to ask more questions about why someone would choose to go no contact.
@@guerrerok0418 just because you were given love on a silver spoon doesn’t mean I have to accept my parents can only give it to me licking off knives.
th-cam.com/video/deyHwDkG7oc/w-d-xo.htmlsi=IascBwwGD8H4GltH
I was blessed to be able to be w my son most all his childhood. I didn't work the first 4 yrs of his life and even then i didn't leave for long. Work part time first then switched to full time for 2 yrs. Then quit my job to work from home. Im a single mom too. My youngest n i are very close. This lady is correct. He mostly likes to be independent, but in distress he comes to me
The average Parent spends more time with their smartphones then they do with their own children.
So true… and so sad.
I went to a coffee shop with my baby girl a few days ago and there was a man sitting at a table next to us with his daughter about 7 years old. He was looking at his phone the ENTIRE time, hardly spoke to her at all. All she did was watching me feeding and engaging with my baby… That broke my heart.
I'd hate to live in the neighborhood you live in😂
@@mrhow2712what does neighbourhood has to do with it?
As we all watch this 😅 put those phones away y'all
I spend about 14 hours a day with my kid. I definitely don't spend that much time on my phone.
I was a diehard career woman, but when I had kids, I quit my successful career. I never regretted it, but it was hard on me but best for my kids. 22 years later and I’m still having to be there, just less. Economics plays a huge factor in doing this, along with lack of trust with partner.
Needing 2 incomes to afford children, and no parental leave is just a disaster. So either you can afford children but they are neglected, or you cant afford children and live in poverty if you do have children. Third option is not having children which seems to be an increasingly popular choice. Birth rate is below replacement everywhere.
Fourth option is to re-locate to a developed country with maternity/ paternity leave and free or affordable child care.
It's why we all should manage money wisely with proper financial teachings to our youngs. It's depressing how our society just eager to spend money based on urges than put in savings for rainy days. Also, overly depending on our government has proven disaster so far. Invest in yourself with good educations, not stupid brand name materials that won't last lifetime.
@@OctoberOctopusMhow long before those nations become encumbered in the same way ours has become?
@@OctoberOctopusM but the video points out that leaving the child to childcare cause immense trauma. so for this to work you would need to give maternity leave for 3 years which no country currently offers.
@@antinutjobs it´s not just that, wages have been stagnant and cost of living has been rampant, then you add that in order to earn a decent wage you need at least college degree which 30 years ago you only needed highschool diploma to earn the same wage. Youngsters have to spend more time and money to get a college degree that only puts them on even playing field, so that´s at least 100k behind if you add what you can save in 4 years and the college fees. That´s 200k behind for a family right from the get go, in order to make up that difference families are forced to plan and delay marriage and having kids, many women pass their prime ages and become sterile, others have deformities in their babies, some have lingering health issues after giving birth. It´s horrendous the hand that has been dealt to the young generation. Just saying it´s spending problem is so disengenous.
You can’t convince me that this message should be one of the most important issues for individuals and for society.
I was passed around to several different people during the first several years of my life. Life with reactive attachment disorder is a living hell on earth.
At 40 years old I felt love for the first time in my life. At my first Catholic mass, at the consecration of the Eucharist. God healed me of my RAD at that moment.
God loves you, please if you are struggling with this, go to mass, there is hope.
My son was healed to a GREAT degree when he was water baptized in his early 20s. He was truly a new person.
@@TheThiaminBlog I want to commend you. My parents weren’t so willing to admit that they had been instrumental in my issues as a child. They didn’t want to admit I had suffered 40 years for their actions. I haven’t spoken to them for 6 years. The last time, the time, when I tried to explain why I had been the way I was and what God had done for me, they just disowned me and kicked me out of their house.
I know I went through what I did so I can help those that are suffering with the same issues I experienced. This video kinda confirms that. If attachment issues are a bigger problem today then they were when I was a child, then there is a lot of people out there suffering. They need God and they need the sacraments more than anything. God bless.
God bless you and keep you!
Wow. Thank you for this. I'm a Catholic and did not expect your comment to go there, but I'm so glad. God is good.
same, It's Jesus, his love healed me too
I was adopted at about a month old, and my adoptive mother resented me from day one. I’m a (49) year old woman now and here to tell you it took until my adult years to figure out why I developed Borderline Personality Disorder, a disassociation disorder and complete mistrust of women.
Parents need to put down their phone and take themselves off the pedestal and START PARENTING!
THIS!!
I was blessed to nurture two of my children the way she describes. We chose one income family. We did without but wouldn't have had it any other way. Children are gifts from the Lord. Sadly, I had to return to work when the second turned five. What fabulous adults they turned out to be.
Maybe mothers working is really not good until the children are 5 or more and this is all a catastrophic mistake.
Feminism ruined the world..by design.. facts
Gee something that Dr Spock told us in the 80s... yet by y2k I kept being told "There's no manual for raising kids" and my 13yo self is life "but.. but they literally have books written v about this, I don't understand?? Why do all the adults argue with me when I try to explain how they are raising me wrong"
Yes, but some mothers have no choice but to work to provide for their children like my case and many mothers these days 😢 I hate leaving my child in daycare or family members bc I got to work
Many women HAVE to work, for many reasons like they were born to poverty, they lack familial support, their spouse died or was disabled. Etc. if a woman works full time she can still raise a happy healthy child into a happy healthy adult.
@@deniser3891they have made it so hard on mothers. Wishing all the best from a new mom❤
My mother and father didn't have parents that said I love you. So my parents said it but not much and by the time I turned five I was told I was too old for hugs and kisses. I now have children of my own and I shower them with praise, love, affection and I also discipline them the right way. On my mother's death bed (my father never made it to see me have children) she said to never stop pouring love into them and she said she wish that I was her mom. That was the biggest compliment I could ever hear about being a mom. My own mother wanted me to be her mom because that's how much she looked up to me as a mother to my own children. I can tell a guide difference from me and how I was raised and how I raise them. My children KNOW that their parents are here to protect them love them and take care of them because God trusted us with his creation. We put a lot of love into these little ones
My daughter has started with daycare at 14 months and I have seen huge benefits for her. We went there every day for an hour or two together for 6 weeks, so she can form a bond to her teacher. We don't have any family here (we live abroad) and I see how much she has learned and how much she loves her teacher. It's like a grandparent we don't have here.
Both her physical and language skills have exploded in the past months. I really have trouble seeing the downside, at least in our case. She goes for 5-6 hours per day. Curious if I'm missing something, but it seems to work well for us 🤷🏻♀️
Physical and language skills aren't indicators for the emotional state your child is in.
A child can be very good at everything and still have certain emotional trauma etc.
Although I'm sure kindergarten is helping you a lot, and is a good place for your child to be when you need to work, there's still something that your child needs and will only get it from you.
So I'd say, don't just ignore this video but at least try to understand what can help you minimise damage.
We're in a similar situation, although my child is bigger.
And from what I've read, and even heard doc Gabor Mate say, I know that there's always some damage that our absence is making.
BUT, there are ways to repair that and we should do it from the earliest age.
One way is to tell your child that you're not with them because you have to and not because you want to or decided to without their consent as well.
@@marijamagdalena7156THIS!!! 🙌🏻
As someone who has been in both situations to compare, I can understand your confusion. Sending my older kids to daycare when they were young because I had to, seemed like everything was fine and it was making them learn and socialize more. Staying home with my twins, they hit every metric wayyyy faster and so far seem to be doing better overall.
I don’t judge parents either way, you do what you have to. But if we ever decide to have a 6th, I will absolutely be staying home with them. Active parenting will teach your kid just as well if not better than daycare. But not everyone is privileged to do so, and for that I’m happy daycare is available.
Environment is very important for the child. I had a friend who's daughter didn't talk until she got five. And the doctor made a statement that it's because nobody talked to her at home.
This lady is amazing. She’s absolutely right 100% on point.
I can't thank you enough for sharing these insights. I am truly grateful.
Oh wow. It’s almost like all of this research shows that God actually designed things so that Moms being with, and raising, their own children would be the very best thing for them.... Shocker.
That is not the point! Attachment disorder is caused by a baby being ignored by the adults around them. I endured a horrible childhood but I don't have attachment disorder because I was not ignored and unattended to during the first years of my life. I spent over 50 years teaching and in child care. Plenty of children are growing up in unsuitable homes, but they do not suffer from attachment disorder. When he asked her what attachment disorder was she rattled off her opinion of the cause and never told him what attachment disorder actually is and what it does to you. If you've ever seen a picture of a Russian orphanage with rows and rows of cribs with babies in them, then you will understand how attachment disorder develops.
...And that is exactly the point. The more that children are raised and nurtured by their own Mommy - the less likely they are to be ignored and less nurtured by some random adult at a daycare center or public school.
And, no, I did not say that there wouldn't be exceptions - but radically less probable.
As the old saying goes, *"No one loves your child like you do."*
Parents need time to be adults and not lose themselves to childcare, of course if you have people take the kids for awhile when you need it helps alot with that
My parents were so stressful I was happier alone as a child.
@@lillycompton2177this and people don’t realize no
matter or much you nurture your kids if you are toxic, have terrible attachment styles yourself then you will pass that to your kids. You can grow up in a two parent household and still be neglected and not cared for.
This video was simply AMAZING to learn from. Thank you so much for sharing such empowering truths!
Helps feel better being a stay at home mom to toddlers
i found the ending of the video very interesting! How epigenetics can even soothe down genetic predisposition of anxiety disorders. Amazing, the importance of conscious parenting with setting clear and respectful boundaries.
On a technical level, you need to talk to your audio professional about using a de-esser. With my headphones on every time she makes an S sound my ears hurt.
Great guest though!
You’re right! Sounds like the latest tweaks for de-echoing this space produced sssssome ssssharp eesssssseeesssss!
We’ll tweak on the next one!
Why did I read this while listening? Now I cannot hear what she's saying. It's all turning into snake sounds!
😂😂
@@houdinis_teaI'm going to read the transcript instead lol
I got separated from my mom when I was 7.. I went to live with my dad in another country. I never had lived with anyone other than my mom until then and I remember I cried everyday and when I started school I would throw up every morning and my aunts thought it was bc I didnt wanna go to school. They sent me back to my mom 7 mnths later. I think that episode in my life is why I have so many emotional problems and cant keep a relationship
Yet people want to crap all over SAHMs and men being the head of the household.
I think those people are jealous and would like to be able to stay home with their children.
Of course we're going to take a crap on it because that's not how humans evolved. The nuclear family is not the model. Humans evolved to have seven caretakers for every one infant. Now you want to reduce it to one caretaker? That's like your boss telling you to go do the job of 7 people but you're still getting paid your same salary.
We were fed so much propaganda about the nuclear family that we don't even questioned why throughout 99.9% of human history that was not the standard for families.
@@ineedhoez
7 caregivers per infant?
Where do you get these numbers from?
@@ineedhoezIt's the cult of the nuclear family.
@@ineedhoez Take your pills immediately.
I worked at a pre school for 11 years. Some of those teachers believe 2 and 3 year olds are being brats when they cry, throw up, sweat, etc and don’t want to be left with the teacher.
I’m literally divorced now because I refused to put our son in a PRE PRE K
from the time he was born.
Who on Earth would do that ?
Our society needs to serious revert back to when we cared more about family and each other.
I’m also glad to see more people espousing the ideas that reassurance is more important than throwing your kid out and “teaching independence”.
We are all DEPENDENT on each other and I dont understand where this “self made man” bull$hi7 came from. Or the pride in not needing anyone.
If anything we should be encouraging each other to find ways that we can help each other and reward that more than how much money / status we can accumulate :(
Sorry to hear that. Hope you got custody of the kid.
My son’s mother took me to court for custody after telling her I didn’t want him in daycare and I would take care of the day to day. According to her it wasn’t manly to want to raise your child. She would leave him in daycare for 12 plus hours a day. The court didn’t care and my only save was they also didn’t care that I would sit with him at daycare from 2- 630 everyday
@@Goofygoobers5672I am so sorry to hear that does the mother have full custody of your son or do you share custody?
Yes, I’m divorced, too. I fought with my husband for 2 years to keep my children at home. Seeing his pettiness (only thinking about money) and lack of support made me sick. My mother stayed at home for 10 years with her children. My dad saw his role during those years as the main breadwinner. We all absolutely respected and loved him. He was an example of a great husband and father. Unfortunately the man I chose to marry was nothing like him.
As a pre-k teacher I understand everything she explained. It’s amazing how brain development works.
In conclusion the father should provide for a mother and child. The mother should at minimum stay home with a child for the first three years. Debunking feminism and supporting Harrison Butker’s message to catholic college students.
@@NateSchneider-zj8rz except this is unnatural.
I was adopted at the age 3, more close to 4. I was put in an orphanage when I was 3 months old in Russia because my mother went schizophrenic. My adoptive parents gave me what ai needed when it came to basic needs. Food on the table, a bed. Our emotional needs were never met and were were just yelled at all the time for having any sort of feelings. I struggle with connecting and controlling my emotions to this day. Been in Therapy for years and have been married for almost 10, I still question if my husband really loves me. That foundation really is truly everything when your young. I never felt secure or safe or truly loved, even when my husband does everything right.
5:20 If puberty has been starting younger and younger in more recent years, how do we know adolescence and brain development haven’t also been changing their timing lately? Good talk and points regardless.
The Brain Information she is talking about isn't brand new information. They proved that years ago. Puberty however is the body and hormone release. The two are probably not related because the brain development isn't a new thing, while the body development is.
I was there for my children, had very good instincts the pediatrican said. Whatsoever i was very fearful, in very insecure circumstances in every way, so my children got traumatized over some years, even so i was tender, nuturing and caring. But i did not feel safe all the time, so my children did not either. So sad, they still have problems today.🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Easier said than done when you had no parents
One thing I wanted before having my son is to be SAHM, but it was not possible. During my pregnancy and during the 12 weeks of maternity leave, I dedicate my free time to look for WFH and I’m very fortunate to have found a great company. Almost 4 years and still working from home raising my son.
I baby wore one of my kids for almost 2 years. I nursed him on demand and ran to his every cry, so why is he the most difficult of all? He’s 4 now and constantly needs my attention and if I play with him for a while and then move on to other children, it’s never enough. What the heck went wrong there?
Balance? Dad?
Nothing! He's four! He's still little. Sounds like you're doing great, he trusts you. My four yr old waslike that too, they grow out of it
@@kkonrad4165 that is so relieving to read. These videos are great but also leave you wondering if you’ve failed and now have to deal with a future murderer.
This is normal. Thats just his temperament and every child is unique.
You did all of that correctly because your motherly intuition told you that he specifically needed it! I have 4 little ones and raised them all as you did and they are all very very different and my second is just as yours! Reminds me so much of my husband too. He’s 7 now and still needs me tremendously but wow he has become so empathetic and protective so there is hope! Some just need more than others because of their inner turmoil!
Thank you.
Profound respect, recognition and admiration for sharing all the knowledge that’s being shared in this interview, as well as for the way it’s presented, very eloquently and precisely.
Such an important topic for everyone to discuss and understand since it explains the origin of psycho-emotional (mental) health disorders that unfortunately many times entail a life of pain for the person experiencing them and those around them.
I’ve been a dad for 18 months to a baby boy and it’s the best feeling ever .seeing that boy after work or in the morning, or putting him to bed, just hugging him and holding him ,feeling his warmth and giving him warmth , seeing him smile, laugh and seeing him happy .
Being good to your children, is what I call success . And may God grant me it .
Ameen.
100% my brother. Becoming a dad completely transformed me in the best possible way. Love every second of it. Even the hard parts.
The argument around stress sensitivity and attachment needs is very important and valid , but she lost me claiming it can be explained by one gene, and that “there is one gene for schizophrenia “. There are hundreds of genes involved in risk for schizophrenia and no single one will cause any of the symptoms .
Schizophrenia itself can be created/ Expressed due to psychological and environs effects. Like how cocomalon LITERALLY GIVES KIDS ADHD.
ENVIROMENTAL is sorry important
I'm sure that she is simplifying things to make it more digestible for the average person.
@@glytchdADHD is genetic dude.
Yet another explanation of why the most important job in the world is parenting and at the same time, the most difficult job in the world both combined into one everything you do or don’t do can result in that childs success or failure…
If you see or know a mom who has made this decision, please tell then thank you. It is SO hard to avoid the siren call of work from all of society to stay home, often completely isolated, to nurture your children. -mom of 6 ages 12 and under
Thank you for the reassurance I don’t feel as alone knowing that you get it.
I’m a first time mom.
While my husband works I stay home it’s different from what I am used to.
I am happy that I have the chance to stay home with my baby because I know a lot of women don’t get to do that even my own mother she had to go work it’s not ideal at all.
It’s scary having to leave your kids with random people when you have to go to work. I don’t know how I’d be able to handle that kind of situation.
And now I am a single father to an artistic child.But he's like the greatest kid in the world if you ask me
Poland is one of the most child friendly countries.
Poland, Hungary, Netherlands, Scandinavian countries too
Agree! we are so quick to medicate children vs finding out WHY
Why ? Because they need your attention and your refuse to give it to them.
Remember, part of parenting is controlling the children's diet.
Before you medicate, try reducing their total carbs¹ to below 20g per day.
Turns out, keeping sugar intake to a minimum has a huge positive impact on mental health and behavior.
*_Who could have guessed??_*
Note¹: Carbohydrates are literally just sugar molecules connected together. Yes, carbs are sugars.
I sorta agree, but I think focusing on macros is the wrong approach. The right approach is emphasizing a variety of whole foods, which includes fruit, which is high in fructose.
That's not a smart take. Your body needs carbs to function,and esp for children that are still developing. If you put a small child on a 20g carb diet I hope child protective services kick your door in.
Far more important is the glycemic index foods have to regulate the insulin reaction. If anything, skip the fruit juice and sweets (and most definitely soda) but fruits or some good, adequate hearty meals are a vital part of good nutrition. Kids do need energy.
And they need to learn how to responsibly consume and deal with the unhealthier food choices incl ice cream or what have you. That doesn't magically happen when they're adults. That's a learned skill.
CORN SYRUP. WE DON'T NEED ANY. But natural is fine.. but this whole nutrition is compelling maliciously taught. Vaisala flip the food pyramid of old on its head and you'll have a better middle straight away.
THEY CONTROL US WITH FOOD. HEY AWAY FROM PROCESSED FOOD AND FFS DON'T GIVE KIDS RITILAN
IS LITERALLY SPEED
@@mysterioanonymous3206 Before you call CPS, look up the term "gluconeogenesis". 👍🏼
@@catalyst3713 Fructose causes the human liver to produce and store fat cells.
It also requires your body to break down ATP (the energy molecule) in order to process fructose.
Chronic fructose consumption is a major source of non-alcoholic fatty liver diseasee.
I only eat fructose once a year when the berries in my garden are in season for a few weeks.
Look into their eyes when you are talking to them. It's important.
When babies are young, if they have 2 or 3 other brothers or sisters, chances are they'll have them when mom or dad isn't there...
But, when babies are young, how could they *not* need constant attention? Look at how long our development is... Babies need attention. Their brains are *actively* developing from birth to 3-4. There are periods of time where it's "Use it or lose it" regarding a particular type of development... If more people understood that, the world would be a better place. It's at our collective peril that we ignore our fundamental biological imperatives, most especially when we are raising children..
I have a great deal of sadness regarding how thin families are stretched these days. I'm 45, and in my time I've seen things just degrade, and degrade, and degrade. Breaks my heart to see how hard it is for people to start and maintain families.
Older children should not raise their siblings.
I’ve been broke my whole life because of this. At 57 I’m only just now starting to try and work through this. What’s worse is I then did it to my son not knowing any better. 🙏🏻
Personally I believe Dr. Spock is hugely to blame. My mother would tell me when I was very young that children were born manipulative and it was a parents job to break it and make them submit. Funny, she was buried being praised as a wonderful mother...
Ha! Right.
@@helenhealing I don't think that's Spock. Sounds like Dobson.