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Please please could you do a analysis of Death Becomes Her. Perhaps looking at the desperation of beauty and youthfulness, especially as its something the actresses Meryl Streep & Isabella Rossellini have struggled with in the film industry!! Its a underrated film that I would LOVE to you a analysis of. Also maybe the campy style of acting and why that style of film is rare to see when it works a lot better often then a comedy with ordinary acting.
I have some questions and problems analyzing the movie Baby Driver. It a good movie, whit a lot of meaning betwean the Lines. I would really like it if you would help me out, since you Are god at analyzing movies and hidden meaning.🏵️
She seems bit aspergerish, she seemingly is oblivious to social norms despite being a socialite. Tghose types can act selfish but really they are just trying too hard to belong. I think she is a small fish stuck in a big puddle that is too much for her: she is lonely and unhappy. Maybe she feels inadequate to be a socialite and craves to be like Annie.
FOUR THUMBS UP. But what this character study omits is that Helen is a fantastic facilitator. She can spot what needs to be done. And in the end, she doesn't need money to make it happen. I truly believe she called the cop and arranged for him to appear at just the right moment so Annie could have her happy ending.Helen's last line in the movie is to Annie: "Your ride is here." This transforms Helen from being Annie's rival to Annie's fairy godmother. When you see that kind of growth in a character, it's very moving.
I like how this channel looks at certain pieces of media that others may consider "too mainstream" or even "for girls" and look at it in a way that is more inclusive and/or critical without being mean.
The ' without being mean' part is soooo important as most people fail to do it. Instead of proper analysis and critique it becomes baseless praise or exaggerated bashing
Yes. I've always unabashedly loved women driven films (or 'chick flicks') that touch on more feminine themes but for some reason even when praising the merits of a good movie that's considered a 'chick flick' I find that people are so... patronizing about it. Hell in high school I was a huge movie nerd and while I watched all of the ~artsy high brow~ movies I maintained that Clueless was my favorite movie of all time and my fellow movie nerd sorta-kinda-boyfriend always seemed to smugly laugh at me when I talked about it. We need truly need more places like this that understand the nuances of these kinds of films.
This reminds me of one of my best friends I met in college. She was so beautiful and popular with a super jock bf. And I hated her instantly; then one night my boyfriend cheated on me, she saw me crying, and told me her bf did too and she gave me some advice. We sat on my bed talking about boys and I slowly started to realize that this stunning girl was also incredibly kind and far more genuine than I assumed - she also revealed that she felt utterly lonely despite having so many friends. Ten years, several boyfriends, a happy marriage and two kids later, we are still besties. Learned from that experience to not judge based solely on looks. You should also do the kids of Haunting of Hill House.
I knew someone like this. Beautiful and loved by everyone so you can imagine my shock when she said, she couldn’t find a boyfriend that wouldnt cheat on her....
I used to think I was poor and unhappy until my life changed and I started to have more money and now I'm aware that nothing I buy no vacation I go to can fill the void and it's extremely frustrating
lol um I work at a library and there's homeless people all the time who find comfort in the internet and have the time to go on youtube or watch movies (no jobs)
@TheKimberlydw Yea, there could be some commentary on it, because Helen is too privileged to realize that just because Lilian is MARRYING into money doesn’t mean SHE has it.
From all the characters in that movie, I like Lilian the least. She complaints in the end that Helen took over everything, but she's the one whose letting Helen taking over everything, and pushing Annie to the side.
Helen believes that in order to be loved she has to appear perfect. The irony is, her efforts to be this way are precisely what makes her unlikable to others. It's a nice contradiction.
@@TimoteoDeBaum You can't change what you don't acknowledge and confronting your own faults is very hard. Admitting it to others is even harder, so try to be proud of yourself for trying to grow as a person. I tell myself that the perfect is the enemy of the good and since perfect doesn't exist good is good enough!
This was me in a nutshell until very recently. The sad thing is, people who have been trapped in this belief their entire lives will have an extremely difficult time freeing themselves of it. I never would have allowed myself to see the truth had it not been for therapy.
I love how Helen is shown to be much more complex than she initially appears. As the movie is mostly told from Annie's perspective, we are allowed to hate Helen along with Annie, until it's revealed that she is merely overcompensating for having no real female friends. Helen's true nature is hinted at when we see how horribly her stepchildren treat her. Rose Byrne plays her so perfectly!😍
well if the stepkids treat her so horribly then why doesnt she punish them? it's understandable if you dont like her (honestly its understandable if you dont like your own birth mom not just stepmom) but most wouldnt get away w/ such disrespect
@@oooh19 To be able to punish kids, especially kids at that age, you need to have a relationship with them. Do you think they'll care about the punishment of their hated step mother? No. If they get grounded by her, they're still going to go out. I think this shows that she probably doesn't even really get support from her husband.
The reason so many men pretend not to like this movie is because the two women (for once) aren't fighting over some douchebag guy. It was refreshing, and the movie is genuinely hilarious as well.
Stop projecting female narcissism in men. Men arent intimidated by female success, or a strong powerful independent woman.... we honestly don't care. Its just something women tell themselves to make their inner torade feel better.
Why did Lillian like Helen in the first place, when Helen is objectively unlikable? Helen openly and indiscreetly bullies Annie and Lillian allows it and doesn't stick up for Annie. She knows Annie is struggling financially and shows no consideration when Helen forces everyone to buy exorbitant designer gowns and first class retreats. If you ask me, Lillian also behaved in an extremely self-absorbed, disloyal, and insensitive manner and tacitly enables and supports Helen's bullying . I don't think Lillian behaved in a way that made her affection worth fighting for; she's a bad friend. She either is a social climber who has throws her best friend under the bus for someone more glamorous or she has no bullshit detector at all.
I've had friends not see the ugly side of my "frienemy" because they have previously been charmed into thinking more highly of them and chalk it up to mere "bad chemistry". Also the wedding makes the situation a bit different since she is supposed to be a bit "selfish" and expect to be pampered. It can cause for a stressful situation in most relationships I think.
As someone who's been in that situation as Lillian, I can tell you that it is hard to see it. All you're seeing is two friends, both of whom you love very much, in a conflict. I lost a good friend because of someone like Helen, but at the time I just couldnt see it. I liked both of my friends, and I liked my Helen too much to ever suspect she was trying to separate the two of us, I just thought she was being loyal (bought the whole bs of "I'm only telling you this cos I care about you"). Now that I look back I can see that she was just lonely and was desperate to not lose me to someone else, and knowing that makes it hard to hate her for what she did. I feel bad for her if anything.
The point is that like Helen, Tahani is vain, self-absorbed, passive-aggressive, and a bit narcissistic, but she has everything Eleanor wants and is frustrated for not having.
You can explain Annie's behaviour, you can explain Helen's. But how will anyone be able to explain Lilian's behaviour? I thought Lilian was the worst. She is unwilling to understand Annie's reasons or see Annie's side and she makes excuses for Helen too. She refuses to hold Helen responsible for anything, even though Helen tries to drive a wedge between her and Annie. She passively lets Helen get away with all her cruel, mean schemes. I've known people like Lilian in real life. They say this world is an illusion and even the closest and the most tight-knitted relationships are subject to change and alteration through envy, resentment, betrayal, vengeance, bitterness, etc. I love that this movie exposes how you can't even trust your best friend. Lilian knows Annie more than anybody else, she's known her since childhood and yet she dismisses Annie when Annie is going through a tough phase. She's passive and silently watches Helen instigating Annie, yet she says nothing to Helen. Lilian uses Helen, who is wealthy, to move up the ladder because she herself is about to marry Douglas who is wealthy and upperclass. And when she realises that her father can't afford the wedding, she feels she's way out of her league with the wealthy class of people like Helen or even Douglas. She ends up feeling low and then she uses Annie for comfort and consolation because only Annie knows the real Lilian and she knows that only Annie can boost up her self-esteem. There are so many people like Lilian in real life. I've had the displeasure of meeting some of them. When they're in your league, they laugh with you, cry with you. They're your friends. As soon as they get to move up the ladder they dismiss you. Even Helen is not as dangerous as Lilian
Zahabia A. I agree with you. Throughout this, I wanted to Annie to assert herself & taking out of the friendship. It’s not her abandoning Lilian, because Helen took over the festivities and the duties of her maid of honor. Lilian is absent in Annie’s struggles and just wants to worry about Lilian. The things that I hate was when at her wedding shower, Lilian was only concerned that Annie was making a scene at her party, not that Annie was being bullied & undermined by Helen or that Annie isn’t doing well. Annie was already in a place of crisis, with losing her business, being mistreated by her Ex & being mistreated by this awful hookup. Annie is understandably insecure, because she’s in crisis, as we are all prone to be. Added on top of that is Annie not knowing her true worth & letting people get away with mistreating her because she doesn’t know that she deserves better than what they give her. Annie was preoccupied with maintaining her friendship w Lilian and the rivalry with Helen... understandably so, because Lilian is her best friend and she needs the emotional support. Annie deserves a better friend than Lilian. Lilian is selfish.
Zahabia A. Ikr! I had a friend in college who was JUST like Lillian. She always passively let her friend who bullied everyone get away with it and made excuses for her. I just found out that she is just as toxic and has been all along. Those people dismiss you when you move up the ladder or they dismiss you if they think you are above them in any way and envy you.
Same thing with me and my ex best friend. She abandoned me on our first trip in a foreign country to hang out with this fake ass group of people. We broke up after this and I was depressed for months. When she found out she didn't fit in with them, she desperately tried to reconnect with our old group of friends. Seriously feel you guys rn.
@@ghostoflarissa I'm very sorry to hear that your best friend did this to you. I hope you have recovered from this emotional blow and I hope you get better friends, who at least don't ditch you in a foreign land. Don't worry, I'm sure your ex best friend must have learnt a lesson.
@@briannabrickey444 I'm sorry about you too. Even I had a best friend like that. We broke up because of my mistake, I did a thing I should not have done. I will always regret my mistake but our friendship was already having cracks before I made my mistake. My best friend was passive aggressive. She could behave very coldly, growing malice and resentment deep within her instead of telling me everything clearly to my face. I, too, was foolish and vain at the time. I would foolishly stand up to other people for her and defend her against those who mocked her. Whenever the same thing happened to me, she would back down and let the sharks have me. Yet I never complained because I didn't think about these things. I realised these things much later, only after we broke up. Watching Lilian in Bridesmaids reminded me that.
Annie wasn’t jealous of Helen for having a better life than her, she was rightfully threatened because Helen was trying to box her out as maid-of-honor and intruding on moments usually reserved for the bride and her best friend. If anything, I was annoyed that Lilian couldn’t see through what Helen was doing and how it was making Annie feel. “Best” friends are generally in tune with each other’s feelings. I’ve been the Helen (which sucks a lot harder than you’d expect) and the Annie, but never the Lilian.
Which is what no one realises about this film. Everyone hates on Annie and chalks her out as lazy and insecure. Woman lost her everything and trying to stay happy for her best friend but that very best friend allowed her to be bullied by her new rich popular friend.
In my opinion, the intention of the movie is to make the viewers see clearly how Helen bullied Annie. Lots of the times, Helen and Annies’ real interaction are behind Lilian which it is make sense how Lilian didn’t see how toxic Helen to Annie. Like i feel like the only person who know the whole “frenemy” between Annie and Helen is Rhode.
Megan- the woman I wish I was. She has confidence and a great job, and is secure in who she is as a person. I love her and her witty comebacks. "Climb him like a tree" "it's coming out of me like hot lava" etc. 😂😂😂
I would gladly trade Lillian for Megan as my new best friend if I were Annie. She's a bit much, but Lillian passively enables Helen's bullying and turns a blind eye to it and is consistently selfish, insensitive and disloyal throughout the whole affair. Whereas if Megan were your best friend and someone kept cutting you down and undermining you she'd smack that bitch up.
@@ayanomar1408 My feeling is that Lillian is moving up in the world socially and financially and from a have-not to a have and wants to fit in with the beautiful people and is thus happy to be taken under Helen's wing and dazzled by her. But she doesn't want to admit this shallowness to herself and makes excuses for Helen's behavior while rationalizing her own. she's in the process of turning from a down-to-earth person to a posh lady and is ready to sacrifice Annie to be One Of Them. So she just conveniently pretends not to notice, and lets Helen drive a wedge between her and Annie so she doesn't have to do it herself. Until the end when she's exhausted with trying to be someone she's not and needs to be real with someone at which point she owed Annie just as big an apology as Helen gave her but never really did. I think Lillian can be forgiven for this but things between them will never be completely the same. I think they live each other but will still drift apart some anyway.
Really? I actually like Helen as character. She has so many dimensions and she is complex. I think all of us have a bit of Helen in ourselves. We all want to be loved without being vulnerable in front of others, making it harder for us to display our true emotions. We develop alter egos/facade because we want to fit in which may comes out as insincere and fake. I can empathize with Helen.
Linh Hanh Le you missed the point of the video. The author is PRAISING Helen as a well written character with a good arc. A realistic portrayal of an existing type of person.
Not to be that douche but not everybody wants to fit in some people are comfortable where they are and not everybody is willing to be fake just for others. I can see what you’re saying though, cuz as humans, we all just want to be loved, but yeah
Which makes sense if you're that type of person, but most women aren't Helen. Her facade to fit in isn't great at all, she's problematic. The only thing I like is how she was written, what she represented and what type of women other women shouldn't be friends with. She's horrid, but I like how they showed how horrible she is in a subtle manner.
Now you have to do a deep dive on why Megan is the best friend that we all deserve. She’s iconic, stole the show. Played beautifully by Melissa McCarthy
Yes, Megan supported Annie even in the silliest ideas (she even agreed about thinking the same about the Paris trip -lesbiaans),she left the bridal shower earlier just like Annie, she looked after Annie when she was uninvited to the wedding and offered her friendship. Megan seemed to be absurd, but was actually a good person.
I always felt like I could sense Helen’s desperation for female friends, just that she doesn’t know how to go about it. I feel like I’ve met less dramatic versions of Helens as an adult and it’s just that women grown up learning to see each other as competition and that the only way to survive is to be “the best.” I always just try to be like no! We can all be the best! Haha ☺️
I was waiting for someone to say that! As a woman who prefers being around female company, I've noticed that many times. We shouldn't see each other as competition. This is just creating a bigger gap between women and gives men the right to belittle us (how many times have I heard by men "but you talk trash behind each other's back because women are fake"; How about, women were never taught to be upfront and real with their feelings, but swallow them down in order to look 'cool' of fear of being called bitchy?) Feminism has a long way to go and removing these toxic patriarchal values is the first step.
@@christinaspiridou5429 yeah men really say that ....but if we do the total opposite thing like supporting every women they'll also lebel us as "femenazis".... Some men actually like that women trash talk of each other but again say bad of those women cuz they want to make women look like second class citizens in every way possible.......they just find excuses to make fun of us...
@@brittneylamar9864 Fair point but I don't think anyone is suggesting women ever getting competitive is completely motivated by society or patriarchy. But that sure is a major player! It is like people have no faith in women's ability to support eachother wholeheartedly.
@Nastassia to be completely honest you seem to be completely somewhat painfully correct if in case:(and I've actually used the word/term IF) were talking about fictional male characters I might have actually seen it PLENTY of times maybe some if not most if not all of them can be PAINFULLY ANNOYINGLY OBLIVIOUS and pretty clueless at times and again I'm talking about FICTIONAL male characters here and maybe that's mostly in romcoms:(I'm guessing that they're either mostly or always movies) or sitcoms
Helen is very relatable. Helen is what happens when you're told by your teachers as a child that you're not good enough, told to stop being a cry baby by your parents and when you didn't have many friends in childhood. We think nobody will like us for who we really are. So we try to overcompensate by favours and perfectionism. We isolate because we think vunerability is weakness, imperfections are weakness... that we can't trust others with our emotions because they will use it against us. I'm trying to break that pattern though it's really hard.
Unpopular thing to say- Watching this made me finally realize I’m a “Helen”. I’m not consciously trying to belittle or undermine others’ success though. The overcompensation, and need to “do the most” for others is a habit I’ve cultivated since childhood. It stems from a deep desire to connect with others, and a lack of understanding as to how to make that actual connection. What a great video, it really helped me self reflect. I’ve never even seen this movie lol
GypsyDancer995 my best advice is to let ppl see the imperfections. Most ppl can’t relate to what appears to be, a perfect life. I’m the girl who always needs my makeup done, perfect hair, etc. At the end of the day, my friends are my friends because I’m not afraid to be vulnerable. I used to be a lot like Helen, now I’m a Megan. I’d rather make fun of myself and the fact that I’m not always holding it together-that’s far more relatable. Also, I find the Helens of the world make weak attempts to actually know someone. Asking them about their day and taking the attention off themselves can make all the difference. Ever have a conversation with someone and they bring it back to themselves constantly? Annoying and self-cantered.
I know, that why I adore both "The Take" and Julia's channel, as they unapologetically hone in on chick flicks in their reviews, openly admit that it's a guilty pleasure genre, and don't look down on people for liking them. 💞
Blame Lifetime. Most chick flicks are men bashing or pushing fake, unrealistic love stories. This movie doesnt do any of that and just focuses on being a woman and the issues that comes with.
I don't think we are ever supposed to hate Helen, though, just find her ridiculous. Helen isn't a villain or antagonist; she's really more like a foil. Annie's real conflict is with herself. Also, Rose Byrne is a criminally underrated actress.
If y'all are analyzing movies about female friendships, could you analyze Jennifer's Body? It's 10 years old this year and criminally underrated. Anyway, another great video as always! 😊
I'd love that! In the meantime, have a look at Megan Fox and Diablo Cody's reunion at ET from a few days ago. Great video. Also check out The Boo Crow's podcast episode with Diablo Cody as a guest, they analyze the film and talk very bluntly about the behind-the-scenes studio struggles and it's really insightful.
Helen was overcompensating with her perfection and Annie was overcompensating with inner whining.. both were pretty Ott honestly. Didn't hate anyone, couldn't hate anyone, we all have shades of both of these women inside us.
I'm a guy and I have this inside me. Does that mean I should rethink myself as a straight cis-male? That's what I'm confused about gender fluidity...are people who identify as "gender fluid" saying that because you have personality traits or modes of thought that are traditionally associated with both males and females that then you are gender fluid?
Every person has got traditional masculine and feminine traits inside them. That's what makes us complete individuals. The difference lies in the way we execute or act upon those traits. Our feelings aren't much different, our reactions to those feelings or events differ. :)
One detail is how Helen pronounces "Parisian" as "pair-uh-see-un." It suggests that Helen probably didn't come from money herself, but only married into it because of her looks. After all, the scene with the stepkids strongly suggests she's a trophy wife who her husband acquired after trading in his first wife for a "younger model."
I thought she was saying 'parisien/parisienne' in a French accent to be sound more pretentious and cultured, and actually adds to her upper middle class background.
Rose Byrne never gets the props she deserves because she is gorgeous. Same with Brad Pitt, who is just now being recognized as an amazing actor now that he’s older. Maybe when she gets older, it’ll happen for her, too. Ppl figure you already have everything and don’t need more praise lol.
Mine too, as while it is a typical "chick flick", it also focuses on female friendships and women behaving badly, and not just exclusively on romance!☺
"Envy leads to *resentment* not love"- *takes notes This was great. And the fun thing about the "Helen of Troy" reference is that Rose Byrne was also in Troy!
I think, it was meant from society's perspective. And whether we like it or not, the society still expects women to marry. You can have an incredible career, a great social life and a happy relationship, but if you're not married, there's something missing, you have not reached the 100% mark (same goes for children).
@@MsJilsephonie I'm obviously not. You don't have to be a man, you just have to be realistic and open your eyes. Just because the younger generations and the feminist movement don't think that way, doesn't mean that society overall doesn't expect that from women. It's stupid, but it's the truth.
This reminded me how in-depth and entertaining Bridesmaids is! I didn't even realise who Annie and Helen's names allude to. This analysis of the deeper meaning of the movie is truly insightful and an excellent exploration of friendship dynamics. Thank you for making such awesome videos!
I think about this every time I see friends posting their friendship (or love) declarations on social media, who is it really for? I see it as a way to show the public: "look, I am beloved, I have friends and our bond is strong".
There was this girl in college, which I met at my first day there. She literal throw herself at me (it rained and she grabbed my arm), telling me her whole lifestory and seemed so fake with every sentence, that it immediately pushed me away from her. Later I found out that every other student felt the same about her and sonehow I felt sorry for her. She just wanted to make friends, but she was just too much for everyone.
I feel like they’re both in the wrong though. Helen’s projection of perfection is detrimental because it sacrifices authenticity. But at the same time, Annie shouldn’t project her own insecurities on other women through jealousy.
No one is debating that Annie is right. You’re putting it on a seasaw. They’re both flawed in different ways. This is about Helen and they do mention how Annie’s insecurities are a problem.
I had never realized how well-written the dialogue in this film was. Honestly the takes by The Take are a great way to find out why some pop culture fixes we thought had been shallow successes, like Bridesmaids and Mean Girls, have a whole lot going on under the surface that explains why they became so relevant.
why is it so rare to have deep female characters even nowadays? people are way more complex and as we get to know them we should see it. frankly family and friends who should know you often don't
Please please could you do a analysis of Death Becomes Her. Perhaps looking at the desperation of beauty and youthfulness, especially as its something the actresses Meryl Streep & Isabella Rossellini have struggled with in the film industry!! Its a underrated film that I would LOVE to you a analysis of. Also maybe the campy style of acting and why that style of film is rare to see when it works a lot better often then a comedy with ordinary acting.
Damn, I've always thought I was more parallel with Annie because of her self criticism and self pity, but still felt for Helen - after she revealed how lonely and unhappy she was. However, I still blamed that on the fact that she was consciously fake. Now I've realized I'm more like Helen. I'm not glamourous or rich, nor do I feel like I have my shit together, but damn if I don't act like I do. I'm snobby, pretentious, and bluntly judgemental, all as an act to make myself look like I'm bigger than I really am, and I can admit that, but even in spite of me openly expressing how lost and unhappy I am to others, I still get the same reaction helen does from Annie - "Whatever. I don't feel sorry for you." And I never understood why I can't find people who care or understand that, but I'm realizing now that the reason is because I continue to put up walls making myself look neat and in tact, and people believe me. I look down at others because I'm angry and project my disapointment with myself on to the people around me, leaving them unsympathetic. So yeah, I needed this video. Thank you for this!
honestly, i can relate as well. especially what is said in 0:45. because looking back now, i don't think i have that one person that really know me & i can call best friend 😕
Why Helen has no friends: 1. Be fake friendly 2. Make people feel bad about themselves 3. Be possessive 4. Buy your friends 5. Move to fast 6. Do too much 7. Perform your friendship (put it on display)
as someone who once used to be a helen, the desire to maintain a perfect image definitely stems from insecurity-from being unable to be vulnerable because you think others won't like your true self. as i talked to more people, i noticed that the fake persona i took up was only perfect in my eyes. somehow, people were able to point out little things about me that i thought were hidden well, such as my proneness to embarrassment and sensitivity to criticism. flaws that i thought my kind words and politeness hid weren't hidden at all. everyone saw through it. at that time, however, it provided a sense of stability for me when my own self-image was unstable. i thought that everyone only saw the outer performance, and i thought everyone preferred it more than the inner performance i actually haven't watched bridesmaids but now i will. this was a great analysis video!
Jessica Victoria Carrillo yeah, sometimes you just have to take it and move on. It’s the adult thing to do. It’s about everyone at the end of the day -not how you alone are perceived.
I think Cady taking responsibility for everything-even the things she didn’t do-demonstrates that she just didn’t care anymore and had realized how above this she was. In a way, it was a pretty big win for her because she was able to cleanly leave the unnecessary toxicity behind, guilt-free, while other characters (like Gretchen) were still stuck in the cycle. While Annie’s ending did seem a bit unfair, she still shared a bond with her best friend and regained a partner’s trust. By taking responsibility, she was able to accept and grow past her issues, while Helen, who low-key got away with her behavior, will continue to repeat the same pattern until she comes to the same realization as Annie. Winning the battle doesn’t necessarily mean winning the war.
I'd love to see a movie about Helen's childhood and school years. I mean her parents obviously trained her to feel she is only admirable, fitting and overall worthy is she is flawless and perfect. she just don't know how to be anything else or she feels belittled to the minimal. She is actually the most complex and interesting characout of the whole movie.
I beieve Helen had accomplished middle-class or upper middle-class parents who very very narcissistic and only praised her if she did something right, or never even that - nothing was good enough for them, and she was trying to overcompensate in every way possible to make them happy. I see her father more like a wealthy lawyer or a doctor, and mom caring a lot about fashion and trends and styles, and how she appeared to others. Helen must have got the basics from her. However, I feel like Helen really had no friends at school. I can see Helen having a university and being an enterpreneur of some kind because she was really cultured and talented. She wasn´t really a stupid goose who was a gold-digger, but I believ that because of her looks and perceived status, she became a trophy second wife to her narcissistic husband. From the way she talked about him, he must have been a narcissist. It would be like living with Donald Trump. I also see Helen as a cheerleader at school. For some reason. Maybe even the Lead Cheerleader.
So, in the end both women have self-esteem issues. One overcompensates because of her perfectionism and cannot be authentic or genuine, which makes her play herself because she can't form a real bond with a friend. The other compares herself and blames others for making her feel bad about herself and her life choices, instead of taking responsibility for her life and her self-esteem/self-perception. We're all a little fucked up, and while we shouldn't justify shitty behaviours, we can all judge each other a little less, so that we can improve and have better relationships.
7:49 "Somehow Helen's or Regina's transparently fake performance of niceness feels meaner than open hostility." Yes, of course because if you try to openly rebut the hostile emotion behind the facade, the person can claim innocence and turn it back on you so you look like you're the jerk or crazy or mean girl. Classic female passive-aggressiveness 101. Saying that out of experience, mostly as a teenager, but I know some middle-aged women who still do this. And like with Helen, a good way to undercut it is to try to empathize, humanize.
some individuals that's how they are. it's dumb to think they'll outgrow it; it's who they are! and honestly some individuals take things wrong. what you say they twist it. or they are thinking the same thing so why hate on you for it?
@@oooh19 I just disagree about people not changing, that's all. I've seen it over a longish life. Including my "Helen" from high school, including myself. Some people are jerks for life, but people are also complex and learn from experience.
@@incogb6696 We're only distant fb friends, but for one she apologized to me for how she treated me, which was lovely. That shows insight, self-reflection, and humility (she had none of those in HS). She said she was an angry and unhappy person back then but had grown up and for her I think it was partially having kids and family that put perspective on it. And time. We're both nearly 50.
"The love of a friend is truly a prize worth having, it makes everything else in life better" EXACTLY. Romance can and does fade in this day and age. Women get their emotional nourishment from other women not men.
How NOT to be friends 1. Be fake-friendly while jabbing 2. Make ppl feel less than you 3. Be possessive over one friend instead of trying to make more 4. Buy friends to make them want you around instead of caring about them 5. Move too fast instead of allowing bond to grow over time 6. Doing too much for others to draw the attention to you 7. Perform a friendship to impress others 8. Not being yourself, putting up walls, not being vulnerable Envy leads to resentment not love
I love Rose Byrne so so so much, I love how she's able to be funny in Bridesmaids and also believable as a conniving climber who's in over her head in Damages. It's especially admirable when you see her interviews where she sounds totally down-to-earth even though she's a movie star and a world-class beauty.
I remember loathing Helen when I saw the movie the first time, but when she started crying about not having friends I was surprised how much sympathy I felt.
It’s better to be feared than loved, but Macchiavelli also says the savvy politician/aristocrat knows how to engender both, and that’s the state one should strive for.
Helen specifically says, "I don't have any *female* friends" (in the scene when she's crying to annie in the car) and remember that (I'm pretty sure I'm remembering correctly) she knows Lilian because she was a friend of *Doug's*. Then when Helen and Annie are trying to get the cop's attention Annie's actually being polite and apologetic about it and Helen starts yelling in a really rough way that traditionally would be perceived as more, like, masculine? I feel like it was hinting that Helen isn't actually that delicate in a traditional "feminine" sense. However because we're kind seeing things from Annie's perspective more or less, Annie really sees her as kind of a very pretty, feminine standard, like how a "woman should be".. I just thought that was interesting.
@@oooh19really, that’s all you got from the comment? They weren’t trying to say yelling was masculine. Maybe you don’t understand the context of “traditional”. “Traditionally” women are *expected* to be quiet and passive while men are *allowed* to be loud and aggressive. Yes we all know this is sexist and not true at all and humans are humans. The point is that Helen is actively trying to take the “traditional femininity” role which one would assume being quiet and polite, but that since the traditional femininity mask “cracked” at that time where she yelled leads to the possibility that in reality she was raised or accustomed to being around men, and quite comfortable not being “lady like”, and that her traditional femininity is a performance to gain acceptance. you’re welcome
I think it was Helen overcompensating yet again, and wanting to look like "cool" and "laid-back". I would not see anything deeper in this. It was a trauma response from childhood. She probably had rich narcissistic dragon parents who expected the best from her and never really praised her for anything, so she did not feel validated. Also, because she did not have any female friends because of this behavior, and she was exceedingly pretty, she must have been the trophy cheerleader irlfriend that every boy wanted, and I am sure that she date many of them in middle school and high school, albeit - I think - more innocently, just with the childhood petting and kissing and hugging, with no sex.
I've often noticed how Helen's perfection was an act, often showing subtext of emptiness. Annie seem to be down on her luck because she was a victim of her own circumstance. I was often called a jerk for thinking this because the movie subverts you into thinking the enemy comes from the position the women play rather than the choices they make.
The one thing I love about your explanation overall, is that both Annie and Helen needed each other in order to grow as people. Helen needed someone to teach her how to be a good friend and Annie needed someone to take her out of the fake ideals that she thought she needed to be a desirable woman.
Like... ngl I haven’t even watched the movie I just like The Take... and this in conjunction with how I act, dress present myself in general and all my favourite characters. I love those enviable perfect characters I got called it in high school and I hated it when those same characters showed vulnerability and oh boy idk where to go from here. But in the spirit of being a more well rounded actualised human being it’s nice to see we’re not alone here I guess
Can anyone relate that once your best friend has kids the friendship doesn’t feel so close anymore? I’m happy for my best friend’s growth and transition to motherhood, but I feel sad that our friendship must, understandably, take a backseat. Family, especially kids, come first. I just send her spa gifts once in awhile as a homage to our friendship. Being a woman kinda sucks because it’s the mother that has to give up most of her time to raise a child. The dad no matter how involved he is, is still second to the mother. So friendships kinda suffer after a baby, even when they grow up some mothers (not all) are just not interested in being anything else but a mom. I think that’s changing tho. A lot of the younger generation are not letting motherhood take away from their other identities such as daughter, wife, sister and friend and even their hobbies.
I love this movie because it's very realistic, full of characters who feels real. Annie's a mess and Helen is the sad rich pretty girl we all know. Both of them did some pretty questionable things. But that's just humans. None of us is always a nice person, none of us is always a great friend.
My cousin was my Helen. She's smart, outspoken and pretty. It was only when I found out how hard she's worked to maintain her figure that I felt slightly better. I thought she was naturally thin.
Helen reminds me of the housewives featured in Big Little Lies, where they pretend to have a perfect marriage and life but when you peel back the layers of defense, what you see are broken marriages, trauma, anxiety, and depression all under the veneer of an idyllic, well-healed lifestyle of Monterey.
@Black Ninja yeah, I see that too (I think I actually watched this movie too much LOL), what I didn't like about Lillian is that a childhood friend will always be important and deserve the benefit of the doubt, you know? That's what I feel Lillian didn't give Annie and she should have. Lillian seemed so more interested in glamour and money, so she kinda pissed me off (and I feel guilty because I love the actress)
I had a childhood friend that acted like Lilian. And I pretty much felt like an Annie. But I am now more of a Helen. I don't hold any lasting relationships due to the fact I just don't trust anyone anymore. I have my husband and my kids. And I usually always dress up nice for family events and his family always asks why. I'm quiet but talk to people. But currently have no best friend except my husband. Lol I am not rich by any means but my quiet and reserved demeanor has people assume I am always being judgey when I'm not. Sometimes I'm just standing there. It's okay to have a bit of both. We are complex creatures as humans.
Though I know the narrative of the film is not completely defined by it, I am tired of women envying each other for being prettier. It matters for the first 2-3 seconds you meet a person, and then other things take over- the way you talk, the way you dress, your body language, and your personality. Few people realise this, but after a while, your personality becomes you. After a while, people don't really remember the way you look-but how they felt talking to you, so be sure to leave them with a good feeling.
Helen is a tragic figure. Rose Byrne is actually brilliant in the role; her inflections and little details really add up to a compelling (and repellent) performance.
This movie was literally my childhood (well, 7th grade) and I used to want to be Helen so bad - so glamorous and impressive, but I also realized why and how Annie was the better friend. I'm so thrilled you made this video and I very much appreciate the in-depth analysis of a character everyone would presume to be so simplistic (the "money doesn't buy happiness" story we are well accustomed to). I also love how the movie showed all these ideas about authenticity even in your enmity for another. Thank you for this!
Funny thing is that I wasted years of my life trying to be an Helen,i know a girl who's an Helen, is impossible to be like that but is possible to be yourself and make the most of it, I also realized women see me as an Helen which is why I don't have female friends...funny
Beside the money part i realized i act like a helen. This gave me self realization of what things i have been doning wrong n why i feel aliented towards people. Thank you i will try to improve myself.
Love love love this channel! It is so thought provoking, and encourages you to apply critical thinking to entertainment. Film can be art if well done and if we learn how to consume it.
I agree, you wouldn't think that there's anything deeper to be taken from "Bridesmaids" other than a good time, but "The Take" will certainly show you otherwise!❤😊
Something tells me that Helen might have been that girl who wasn’t rich or considered pretty when she was younger so when she grew into her looks (or bought it) and married her wealth, she thought it’d be the only way to impress anyone who would be her friend if she would just be real
Its not that Annie wants to be Helen. Its that Annie was asked to take on a bit of a financial burden by being a bridesmaid during a time where Lillian knew she couldnt do it and Helen rubbed her face in it. Helen made it worse by one upping Annie every single chance she got. She was fake and made jabs at her but those jabs were sugary sweet so when she blows up it makes Annie look bad. Helen creates her own misery and deserves it.
To be honest I think Annie and Helen were as bad as each other. Helen really was the definition of trying too hard, when someone is like that, whether it's trying too hard to be popular, funny, intelligent, worldly etc ... it comes across as so disingenuous and forced. In life being genuine always wins. People like Helen never really have deep meaningful friendships ... they just know a lot of people. Annie is someone at some stage in life I think most of us have known. Someone who takes their insecurities and jealousies out on other people, it's almost as if you can never share good news with people like that and you have to walk on eggshells around them because you don't know how they'll react. They can never seem to be happy for others. If you have to dim other peoples light in order to shine yourself something is seriously wrong. I think Megan was the best character in Bridesmaids she was kind, wise, strong minded, assertive, didn't need validation from anyone and was unapologetically herself. Most of all she wasn't petty like the other women. Despite being bullied in the past she was totally her own person with great individuality. Annie would have been much better to have Megan as a best friend instead of Lilian who seemed so toxic and fake.
every women with mommy issues who haven’t dealt with their issues yet (including me) is just helen, making female friends is so gdamn hard and when i actually get one, i try to do everything for them over the top its draining actually
I have never watched this movie and I really want to watch this now. I had a "friend" EXACTLY like Helen. She was overtly nice to everyone, often making grand gestures to pay for everyone's meals or like gifting expensive presents. What gave me chills was the part of the video where she was demeaning to someone who complimented her on her looks because I'VE SEEN HER DO THE SAME. Someone told her she was pretty and she replied with "Thank you! You are so sweet!" *goosebumps* Difference is that I wasn't envious of her and I think she hated that the most. "Her tactic" didn't work on me and suddenly, I became the competitor, the ENEMY. We had a "Lilian", a friend we both shared and it had begun as the 3 of us together as friends. She would invite "Lilian" alone to special posh meals, not including me at all, and then tell me things the next time we met "Oh we took the 1h train to another town JUST for breakfast. It was so good, you should go there sometime!" And I would be left there thinking: Why wasn't I invited? But here is where movie Helen differed from her. She lied to "Lilian", telling her things about me that weren't true and basically in the first year of uni, I was left with ZERO friends. And for someone who isn't an extrovert + living 16 hours away from her home country + studying in a stressful medical school, I did not do well at all. I often thought that it was my fault, wondering what I did wrong for them to distance themselves away from me like that. It is something that has affected me permanently. It is something I am still in therapy for lol. But one day, "Helen" was absent from class and "Lilian" sat next to me at lecture for the first time in months. We chatted like old times and I couldn't take it anymore. I was blunt and asked her. That was when she told me that "Helen" had told her months back that I wanted time alone with this other guy I sat in lecture with that I "supposedly" liked. Which wasn't true. Him and I had only gotten closer because he noticed I was left alone all the time and PITIED me. "Lilian" started realising a lot of other things in that one conversation and we are closer now than she is with "Helen" Just wanted to give this anecdote because Helens do exist and sure, they may all be really nice and soft inside, but you do not NEED put up with them in your life. My life was miserable and I am glad that portion is finally over. I really like this character analysis, it really helped me understand this ex-friend of mine more. I can understand her now, but I still disagree with all the poop she put me through... the end :)
@@incogb6696 haha I was referring to @7:08 where she was being condescending and my friend did that too. I got the chills because that scene just brought on flashbacks haha. Back then, I never saw it to be any problem because it wasn't directed at me lol :)
I feel like Helen uses her conventional attractiveness, social status and class status as a way to extert power as well as to express feeling threatened by Annie's authenticity. She probably felt that in a way that Annie would steal Lillian from her (which isn't true). She might be secretly unhappy and hiding it from everyone but Annie doesn't hide her pain which I believe is why Helen felt so threatened by Annie.
I am so glad that you made this video. Your analysis of the relationships between Helen, Annie, and Lillian really helped me to realize why certain elements are important in a relationship. Anyone could say that she isn’t a good friend because she isn’t genuine or sympathetic, but you were able to see and analyze these traits and their effect on the relationship. A real eye opener as to the movie AND real life.
I lowkey LOVED "Bridesmaids." It really spoke to my soul in a way I couldn't describe. This video really shed some light on my own issues with a certain former friend. We were classmates from elementary to high school. Said girl was your typical over-achiever. She was always class president, performed song and dance numbers during school events, and often had a boy linked to her every single school year. Meanwhile, I was the artsy kid, a bit of a weirdo, who loved to read books and had only a small circle of friends. Ms. Perfect was the valedictorian in both elementary and high school, while I placed second to her, only by a few points. We were close friends towards the end of high school, often bonding over boy problems. We then diverged paths in college, where she went to a provincial university, whereas I attended a big public university in the big city. I then had a falling out with her because I saw how artificial she really was. She would change boyfriends every year, excel academically by being dramatic to her professors, and often had a group of followers who worshiped her. Like Annie in the movie, as an adult, I did encounter my own personal tragedies as an adult. I also a good relationship with a man my parents hated, thus straining my family life at home. Meanwhile, Ms. Perfect was living her best life, flaunting on social media how wealthy she was getting, her engagement, and her various career advancements. Like Annie, I was deeply envious of her, to the point of pure hatred. I often talked about how fake she was, how she was hiding a shallow mind with a sunny disposition. At some point, I realized, like Annie, how I was my own worst enemy. Sure, something tragic had happened in my life because of forces I couldn't control. Yes, my parents refused to acknowledge my boyfriend. But only I could make my life better. And I didn't need to turn into Ms. Perfect (who, I learned, also had some deep issues, like rumours that her fiance was gay, and being buried in debt). Life slowly turned around for me, and I found opportunities and healing. . Life can really be shitty, and when we are in a dark place in our adult life, we tend to question our choices. We often ask how we can achieve more while we're still young. The truth is, while we are in a dark place in life, we shouldn't be aspiring to have someone else's life, just because we think it's better. Things can turn around, and only we can make the best life for ourselves.
The conclusion that states clearly how we don't put enough value on friendship and referring to our platonic relationships as, "only a friend." This downplays how much work it takes to love, trust, and maintain it for years and even decades. Friendship is truly priceless and can last a lifetime.
1. Rose Byrne is named Helen in "Bridesmaids". 2. This video compares Helen Harris III to Helen of Troy 3. Rose Byrne played a priestess in the 2004 film "Troy" (set during the Trojan War) Yes, these are small details, but what an interesting connection/coincidence. Always enjoy watching The Take.
Having a true friend (s) is the hardest one imo. You have your family gifted and a system that helps you find a partner. No system guarantees you a friend apart from time. Also while watching it for the first time, I didn't despise Helen but Lillian. You can expect a perfect society woman to act like that but Lillian was Annie's best friend and couldn't even acknowledge how this was all affecting her. She never had to prove to Annie or Helen.
"Perform your friendship" So many people my age and younger do this. Because we don't know what it's like to not have social media and not put shit on display. I never realized how maybe I do this with my friends just to show the world that I'm not lonely. I spent hours looking at other people's social medias...especially other women's and their photo albums of friendships....I felt like I needed that. I got mad at a friend for not speaking to me for months and posting statuses like "hanging out with friends". It made me think I guess I'm not one of those friends and I don't matter. She then revealed to me that she was super depressed and only put those statuses up to make people think she was okay.
honestly as hilarious as melissa was, there was nothing in her performance that rose’s didn’t have as well. she should also have gotten a Best Supporting Actress nomination. her Helen was the movie’s secret weapon
Please could you do a Over The Garden Wall anaylsis. It would be perfect for October/Halloween, and it would be cool to see you dive into the themes and the brothers relationship between a optimistic and a pessimistic.
Dude, Movie Idea: A movie with Helen, Regina George, and all these types of female antagonists, and have them work together on a mission impossible mission!
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Please please could you do a analysis of Death Becomes Her. Perhaps looking at the desperation of beauty and youthfulness, especially as its something the actresses Meryl Streep & Isabella Rossellini have struggled with in the film industry!! Its a underrated film that I would LOVE to you a analysis of. Also maybe the campy style of acting and why that style of film is rare to see when it works a lot better often then a comedy with ordinary acting.
I have some questions and problems analyzing the movie Baby Driver. It a good movie, whit a lot of meaning betwean the Lines. I would really like it if you would help me out, since you Are god at analyzing movies and hidden meaning.🏵️
She seems bit aspergerish, she seemingly is oblivious to social norms despite being a socialite. Tghose types can act selfish but really they are just trying too hard to belong. I think she is a small fish stuck in a big puddle that is too much for her: she is lonely and unhappy. Maybe she feels inadequate to be a socialite and craves to be like Annie.
FOUR THUMBS UP. But what this character study omits is that Helen is a fantastic facilitator. She can spot what needs to be done. And in the end, she doesn't need money to make it happen. I truly believe she called the cop and arranged for him to appear at just the right moment so Annie could have her happy ending.Helen's last line in the movie is to Annie: "Your ride is here."
This transforms Helen from being Annie's rival to Annie's fairy godmother. When you see that kind of growth in a character, it's very moving.
I like how this channel looks at certain pieces of media that others may consider "too mainstream" or even "for girls" and look at it in a way that is more inclusive and/or critical without being mean.
The ' without being mean' part is soooo important as most people fail to do it. Instead of proper analysis and critique it becomes baseless praise or exaggerated bashing
"Or even for girls." Gasp. Not... Not the dreaded "for girls" media.
@@GLamoRousCooKie DISGUSTING!!!
Yes. I've always unabashedly loved women driven films (or 'chick flicks') that touch on more feminine themes but for some reason even when praising the merits of a good movie that's considered a 'chick flick' I find that people are so... patronizing about it. Hell in high school I was a huge movie nerd and while I watched all of the ~artsy high brow~ movies I maintained that Clueless was my favorite movie of all time and my fellow movie nerd sorta-kinda-boyfriend always seemed to smugly laugh at me when I talked about it. We need truly need more places like this that understand the nuances of these kinds of films.
@@gleegleek4eva The irony is that now Clueless is really highly respected by a lot of movie snobs. It's a classic!
This reminds me of one of my best friends I met in college. She was so beautiful and popular with a super jock bf. And I hated her instantly; then one night my boyfriend cheated on me, she saw me crying, and told me her bf did too and she gave me some advice. We sat on my bed talking about boys and I slowly started to realize that this stunning girl was also incredibly kind and far more genuine than I assumed - she also revealed that she felt utterly lonely despite having so many friends. Ten years, several boyfriends, a happy marriage and two kids later, we are still besties. Learned from that experience to not judge based solely on looks.
You should also do the kids of Haunting of Hill House.
What a sweet story, thank you for sharing!
For a moment there I thought *you* guys got married to each other
@@zurish3467 🤣🤣 I would have been honored, truthfully.
I knew someone like this. Beautiful and loved by everyone so you can imagine my shock when she said, she couldn’t find a boyfriend that wouldnt cheat on her....
I despise people who hate on women merely because they're pretty.
I’d rather be rich and unhappy than poor and unhappy.
Sad mentality u have
people who disagree with this have clearly never been poor.
I used to think I was poor and unhappy until my life changed and I started to have more money and now I'm aware that nothing I buy no vacation I go to can fill the void and it's extremely frustrating
exactly. I have a $900 therapy bill I can't pay for and adding to my financial stress.
lol um I work at a library and there's homeless people all the time who find comfort in the internet and have the time to go on youtube or watch movies (no jobs)
That awkward moment when you're nothing like Helen and still have no friends.
LMAO you made my day
everyday is sad in my life
Yeah...problem maybe that we do not go out....and meet people
Yep
I might not look like a Helen or be rich as her but I can relate her
"I am not paying for this shit"
Lillian's dad is the most relatable person ever.
My dad would say the same thing.
Nah Annie is the most relatable one in this movie
@TheKimberlydw Yea, there could be some commentary on it, because Helen is too privileged to realize that just because Lilian is MARRYING into money doesn’t mean SHE has it.
From all the characters in that movie, I like Lilian the least. She complaints in the end that Helen took over everything, but she's the one whose letting Helen taking over everything, and pushing Annie to the side.
@@etcetraetcetra3173I know, Annie is her best friend and maid of honor but she’s listening more to this new girl. Why would you do that?
Helen believes that in order to be loved she has to appear perfect.
The irony is, her efforts to be this way are precisely what makes her unlikable to others.
It's a nice contradiction.
Probably comes from a childhood of not feeling good enough
@@Fififashionista27 It certainly looks that way.
I actually do this.. 😞 I’m very hard on myself
@@TimoteoDeBaum You can't change what you don't acknowledge and confronting your own faults is very hard. Admitting it to others is even harder, so try to be proud of yourself for trying to grow as a person.
I tell myself that the perfect is the enemy of the good and since perfect doesn't exist good is good enough!
This was me in a nutshell until very recently. The sad thing is, people who have been trapped in this belief their entire lives will have an extremely difficult time freeing themselves of it. I never would have allowed myself to see the truth had it not been for therapy.
I love how Helen is shown to be much more complex than she initially appears. As the movie is mostly told from Annie's perspective, we are allowed to hate Helen along with Annie, until it's revealed that she is merely overcompensating for having no real female friends. Helen's true nature is hinted at when we see how horribly her stepchildren treat her. Rose Byrne plays her so perfectly!😍
There are three reasons people overspend so much on occasions
- gratitude
- wanting to over compensate
- anxiety craving acceptance
well if the stepkids treat her so horribly then why doesnt she punish them? it's understandable if you dont like her (honestly its understandable if you dont like your own birth mom not just stepmom) but most wouldnt get away w/ such disrespect
@@oooh19 To be able to punish kids, especially kids at that age, you need to have a relationship with them. Do you think they'll care about the punishment of their hated step mother? No. If they get grounded by her, they're still going to go out. I think this shows that she probably doesn't even really get support from her husband.
I felt bad for her
The reason so many men pretend not to like this movie is because the two women (for once) aren't fighting over some douchebag guy. It was refreshing, and the movie is genuinely hilarious as well.
I'm a man and I love this movie. Watched ut many times. Actually it's my fiance who hasn't seen it herself.
so true
It’s my husbands favourite film 😂 he’s watched it sooo many times haha
@Chris Gonzalez being queer doesnt mean you can be a gross misogynist. They're called chick flicks, don't make up shit to make them less appealing.
Stop projecting female narcissism in men. Men arent intimidated by female success, or a strong powerful independent woman.... we honestly don't care. Its just something women tell themselves to make their inner torade feel better.
I never understood why the giant cookie and chocolate fountain were outside LOL
to represent the absurdity in how over-the-top Helen is and how much she shows off
what do you mean? people eat outside? its like a garden party
@@rishaa682 yeah, but a chocolate fountain in the SUMMER!? the bugs, think about the BUGS!!!
Pffft! Maybe 2 save on mess?
Yikes, never thought about the bugs and other “gifts“ a summer breeze may provide (like leafs).
Why did Lillian like Helen in the first place, when Helen is objectively unlikable? Helen openly and indiscreetly bullies Annie and Lillian allows it and doesn't stick up for Annie. She knows Annie is struggling financially and shows no consideration when Helen forces everyone to buy exorbitant designer gowns and first class retreats. If you ask me, Lillian also behaved in an extremely self-absorbed, disloyal, and insensitive manner and tacitly enables and supports Helen's bullying . I don't think Lillian behaved in a way that made her affection worth fighting for; she's a bad friend. She either is a social climber who has throws her best friend under the bus for someone more glamorous or she has no bullshit detector at all.
moonlily1 Agreed, I thought Lillian treated Annie horribly when it was so obvious what Helen was doing and only sort of acknowledges it at the end
@@gabrielle6415 I think trading Lillian for Megan as your new best friend is a massive upgrade for Annie.
Wedding Brain
I've had friends not see the ugly side of my "frienemy" because they have previously been charmed into thinking more highly of them and chalk it up to mere "bad chemistry".
Also the wedding makes the situation a bit different since she is supposed to be a bit "selfish" and expect to be pampered. It can cause for a stressful situation in most relationships I think.
As someone who's been in that situation as Lillian, I can tell you that it is hard to see it. All you're seeing is two friends, both of whom you love very much, in a conflict. I lost a good friend because of someone like Helen, but at the time I just couldnt see it. I liked both of my friends, and I liked my Helen too much to ever suspect she was trying to separate the two of us, I just thought she was being loyal (bought the whole bs of "I'm only telling you this cos I care about you"). Now that I look back I can see that she was just lonely and was desperate to not lose me to someone else, and knowing that makes it hard to hate her for what she did. I feel bad for her if anything.
I love how this can be seen in The Good Place with Tahani torturing Eleanor.
Yesssss. She's so convinced she's better than her in the beginning, but she's not (by much)
I prefer Tahani but to be fair The Good Place is not only from one character's point of view so everyone is more rounded.
I had this exact thought
@Pattarapol P Hey, Helen was hilarious in her mean girl ways
The point is that like Helen, Tahani is vain, self-absorbed, passive-aggressive, and a bit narcissistic, but she has everything Eleanor wants and is frustrated for not having.
You can explain Annie's behaviour, you can explain Helen's. But how will anyone be able to explain Lilian's behaviour?
I thought Lilian was the worst. She is unwilling to understand Annie's reasons or see Annie's side and she makes excuses for Helen too. She refuses to hold Helen responsible for anything, even though Helen tries to drive a wedge between her and Annie. She passively lets Helen get away with all her cruel, mean schemes. I've known people like Lilian in real life. They say this world is an illusion and even the closest and the most tight-knitted relationships are subject to change and alteration through envy, resentment, betrayal, vengeance, bitterness, etc. I love that this movie exposes how you can't even trust your best friend. Lilian knows Annie more than anybody else, she's known her since childhood and yet she dismisses Annie when Annie is going through a tough phase. She's passive and silently watches Helen instigating Annie, yet she says nothing to Helen. Lilian uses Helen, who is wealthy, to move up the ladder because she herself is about to marry Douglas who is wealthy and upperclass. And when she realises that her father can't afford the wedding, she feels she's way out of her league with the wealthy class of people like Helen or even Douglas. She ends up feeling low and then she uses Annie for comfort and consolation because only Annie knows the real Lilian and she knows that only Annie can boost up her self-esteem. There are so many people like Lilian in real life. I've had the displeasure of meeting some of them. When they're in your league, they laugh with you, cry with you. They're your friends. As soon as they get to move up the ladder they dismiss you. Even Helen is not as dangerous as Lilian
Zahabia A. I agree with you. Throughout this, I wanted to Annie to assert herself & taking out of the friendship. It’s not her abandoning Lilian, because Helen took over the festivities and the duties of her maid of honor. Lilian is absent in Annie’s struggles and just wants to worry about Lilian. The things that I hate was when at her wedding shower, Lilian was only concerned that Annie was making a scene at her party, not that Annie was being bullied & undermined by Helen or that Annie isn’t doing well. Annie was already in a place of crisis, with losing her business, being mistreated by her Ex & being mistreated by this awful hookup. Annie is understandably insecure, because she’s in crisis, as we are all prone to be. Added on top of that is Annie not knowing her true worth & letting people get away with mistreating her because she doesn’t know that she deserves better than what they give her. Annie was preoccupied with maintaining her friendship w Lilian and the rivalry with Helen... understandably so, because Lilian is her best friend and she needs the emotional support. Annie deserves a better friend than Lilian. Lilian is selfish.
Zahabia A. Ikr! I had a friend in college who was JUST like Lillian. She always passively let her friend who bullied everyone get away with it and made excuses for her. I just found out that she is just as toxic and has been all along. Those people dismiss you when you move up the ladder or they dismiss you if they think you are above them in any way and envy you.
Same thing with me and my ex best friend. She abandoned me on our first trip in a foreign country to hang out with this fake ass group of people. We broke up after this and I was depressed for months. When she found out she didn't fit in with them, she desperately tried to reconnect with our old group of friends. Seriously feel you guys rn.
@@ghostoflarissa I'm very sorry to hear that your best friend did this to you. I hope you have recovered from this emotional blow and I hope you get better friends, who at least don't ditch you in a foreign land. Don't worry, I'm sure your ex best friend must have learnt a lesson.
@@briannabrickey444 I'm sorry about you too. Even I had a best friend like that. We broke up because of my mistake, I did a thing I should not have done. I will always regret my mistake but our friendship was already having cracks before I made my mistake. My best friend was passive aggressive. She could behave very coldly, growing malice and resentment deep within her instead of telling me everything clearly to my face. I, too, was foolish and vain at the time. I would foolishly stand up to other people for her and defend her against those who mocked her. Whenever the same thing happened to me, she would back down and let the sharks have me. Yet I never complained because I didn't think about these things. I realised these things much later, only after we broke up. Watching Lilian in Bridesmaids reminded me that.
Annie wasn’t jealous of Helen for having a better life than her, she was rightfully threatened because Helen was trying to box her out as maid-of-honor and intruding on moments usually reserved for the bride and her best friend.
If anything, I was annoyed that Lilian couldn’t see through what Helen was doing and how it was making Annie feel. “Best” friends are generally in tune with each other’s feelings.
I’ve been the Helen (which sucks a lot harder than you’d expect) and the Annie, but never the Lilian.
hollywoodshopaholic I appreciate this comment
Helen was definitely fake and passive aggressive which isn't hard to not like.
Which is what no one realises about this film. Everyone hates on Annie and chalks her out as lazy and insecure. Woman lost her everything and trying to stay happy for her best friend but that very best friend allowed her to be bullied by her new rich popular friend.
In my opinion, the intention of the movie is to make the viewers see clearly how Helen bullied Annie. Lots of the times, Helen and Annies’ real interaction are behind Lilian which it is make sense how Lilian didn’t see how toxic Helen to Annie. Like i feel like the only person who know the whole “frenemy” between Annie and Helen is Rhode.
Exactly, I'm pretty sure someone had to see through the BS.
Megan- the woman I wish I was. She has confidence and a great job, and is secure in who she is as a person. I love her and her witty comebacks. "Climb him like a tree" "it's coming out of me like hot lava" etc. 😂😂😂
I would gladly trade Lillian for Megan as my new best friend if I were Annie. She's a bit much, but Lillian passively enables Helen's bullying and turns a blind eye to it and is consistently selfish, insensitive and disloyal throughout the whole affair. Whereas if Megan were your best friend and someone kept cutting you down and undermining you she'd smack that bitch up.
@@moonlily1 I feel like Lilian was enabling that behavuor because she is benefiting from Helen??
@@ayanomar1408 My feeling is that Lillian is moving up in the world socially and financially and from a have-not to a have and wants to fit in with the beautiful people and is thus happy to be taken under Helen's wing and dazzled by her. But she doesn't want to admit this shallowness to herself and makes excuses for Helen's behavior while rationalizing her own. she's in the process of turning from a down-to-earth person to a posh lady and is ready to sacrifice Annie to be One Of Them. So she just conveniently pretends not to notice, and lets Helen drive a wedge between her and Annie so she doesn't have to do it herself. Until the end when she's exhausted with trying to be someone she's not and needs to be real with someone at which point she owed Annie just as big an apology as Helen gave her but never really did. I think Lillian can be forgiven for this but things between them will never be completely the same. I think they live each other but will still drift apart some anyway.
@@moonlily1 niiiiiiice 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Megan is definitely my favorite character and you’re right! She has it all....and tons of puppies lol!
Really? I actually like Helen as character. She has so many dimensions and she is complex. I think all of us have a bit of Helen in ourselves. We all want to be loved without being vulnerable in front of others, making it harder for us to display our true emotions. We develop alter egos/facade because we want to fit in which may comes out as insincere and fake. I can empathize with Helen.
Linh Hanh Le you missed the point of the video. The author is PRAISING Helen as a well written character with a good arc. A realistic portrayal of an existing type of person.
@@lrc4263 you missed the point of the comment.
Not to be that douche but not everybody wants to fit in some people are comfortable where they are and not everybody is willing to be fake just for others. I can see what you’re saying though, cuz as humans, we all just want to be loved, but yeah
Which makes sense if you're that type of person, but most women aren't Helen. Her facade to fit in isn't great at all, she's problematic. The only thing I like is how she was written, what she represented and what type of women other women shouldn't be friends with. She's horrid, but I like how they showed how horrible she is in a subtle manner.
Linh Hanh Le this video emphasized with her. It analyzed her pretty well.
Now you have to do a deep dive on why Megan is the best friend that we all deserve. She’s iconic, stole the show. Played beautifully by Melissa McCarthy
Yes, Megan supported Annie even in the silliest ideas (she even agreed about thinking the same about the Paris trip -lesbiaans),she left the bridal shower earlier just like Annie, she looked after Annie when she was uninvited to the wedding and offered her friendship. Megan seemed to be absurd, but was actually a good person.
Now let's take it to the next level and be the friend Megan deserves!
I always felt like I could sense Helen’s desperation for female friends, just that she doesn’t know how to go about it. I feel like I’ve met less dramatic versions of Helens as an adult and it’s just that women grown up learning to see each other as competition and that the only way to survive is to be “the best.” I always just try to be like no! We can all be the best! Haha ☺️
I was waiting for someone to say that! As a woman who prefers being around female company, I've noticed that many times. We shouldn't see each other as competition. This is just creating a bigger gap between women and gives men the right to belittle us (how many times have I heard by men "but you talk trash behind each other's back because women are fake"; How about, women were never taught to be upfront and real with their feelings, but swallow them down in order to look 'cool' of fear of being called bitchy?) Feminism has a long way to go and removing these toxic patriarchal values is the first step.
@@christinaspiridou5429 yeah men really say that ....but if we do the total opposite thing like supporting every women they'll also lebel us as "femenazis".... Some men actually like that women trash talk of each other but again say bad of those women cuz they want to make women look like second class citizens in every way possible.......they just find excuses to make fun of us...
@@minoriruba1828 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
@@brittneylamar9864 Fair point but I don't think anyone is suggesting women ever getting competitive is completely motivated by society or patriarchy. But that sure is a major player! It is like people have no faith in women's ability to support eachother wholeheartedly.
@Nastassia to be completely honest you seem to be completely somewhat painfully correct
if in case:(and I've actually used the word/term IF) were talking about fictional male characters I might have actually seen it PLENTY of times maybe some if not most if not all of them can be PAINFULLY ANNOYINGLY OBLIVIOUS and pretty clueless at times and again I'm talking about FICTIONAL male characters here and maybe that's mostly in romcoms:(I'm guessing that they're either mostly or always movies) or sitcoms
Helen is very relatable. Helen is what happens when you're told by your teachers as a child that you're not good enough, told to stop being a cry baby by your parents and when you didn't have many friends in childhood. We think nobody will like us for who we really are. So we try to overcompensate by favours and perfectionism. We isolate because we think vunerability is weakness, imperfections are weakness... that we can't trust others with our emotions because they will use it against us. I'm trying to break that pattern though it's really hard.
Unpopular thing to say- Watching this made me finally realize I’m a “Helen”. I’m not consciously trying to belittle or undermine others’ success though. The overcompensation, and need to “do the most” for others is a habit I’ve cultivated since childhood. It stems from a deep desire to connect with others, and a lack of understanding as to how to make that actual connection. What a great video, it really helped me self reflect. I’ve never even seen this movie lol
GypsyDancer995 my best advice is to let ppl see the imperfections. Most ppl can’t relate to what appears to be, a perfect life. I’m the girl who always needs my makeup done, perfect hair, etc. At the end of the day, my friends are my friends because I’m not afraid to be vulnerable. I used to be a lot like Helen, now I’m a Megan. I’d rather make fun of myself and the fact that I’m not always holding it together-that’s far more relatable. Also, I find the Helens of the world make weak attempts to actually know someone. Asking them about their day and taking the attention off themselves can make all the difference. Ever have a conversation with someone and they bring it back to themselves constantly? Annoying and self-cantered.
I highly recommend watching it.
MissC Your self reflection here is so honest, refreshing, and real.
What about girls who present themselves as Helen but internally more like a Annie? It’s the struggle of my life😭
I relate to this comment so much. I want to be a Megan though, she's confident and doesn't feel like she has to prove anything to anyone else
"this is my husband. You don't have a husband." LMAO 🤣😂🤣😂 the way she delivered that line all while smiling is absolutely brilliant
i just love channels like this and julia cudney, that do well thought out film analysis and dont look down on "chick-flicks"
I know, that why I adore both "The Take" and Julia's channel, as they unapologetically hone in on chick flicks in their reviews, openly admit that it's a guilty pleasure genre, and don't look down on people for liking them. 💞
Yes!! Love both channels!
sortasofi lol I’m subscribed to Julia cudney to as well as this channel I love them both 😁👌🏻
Julia still needs to mature and stop narrating and actually analyze
Blame Lifetime. Most chick flicks are men bashing or pushing fake, unrealistic love stories. This movie doesnt do any of that and just focuses on being a woman and the issues that comes with.
I don't think we are ever supposed to hate Helen, though, just find her ridiculous. Helen isn't a villain or antagonist; she's really more like a foil. Annie's real conflict is with herself. Also, Rose Byrne is a criminally underrated actress.
I 1000% agree with you!!
If y'all are analyzing movies about female friendships, could you analyze Jennifer's Body? It's 10 years old this year and criminally underrated. Anyway, another great video as always! 😊
YESSSS
I'd love that! In the meantime, have a look at Megan Fox and Diablo Cody's reunion at ET from a few days ago. Great video. Also check out The Boo Crow's podcast episode with Diablo Cody as a guest, they analyze the film and talk very bluntly about the behind-the-scenes studio struggles and it's really insightful.
Yaaasssss. Good idea!!
Yeeeeees
Sounds interesting
Helen was overcompensating with her perfection and Annie was overcompensating with inner whining.. both were pretty Ott honestly. Didn't hate anyone, couldn't hate anyone, we all have shades of both of these women inside us.
I'm a guy and I have this inside me.
Does that mean I should rethink myself as a straight cis-male? That's what I'm confused about gender fluidity...are people who identify as "gender fluid" saying that because you have personality traits or modes of thought that are traditionally associated with both males and females that then you are gender fluid?
Every person has got traditional masculine and feminine traits inside them. That's what makes us complete individuals. The difference lies in the way we execute or act upon those traits. Our feelings aren't much different, our reactions to those feelings or events differ. :)
One detail is how Helen pronounces "Parisian" as "pair-uh-see-un." It suggests that Helen probably didn't come from money herself, but only married into it because of her looks. After all, the scene with the stepkids strongly suggests she's a trophy wife who her husband acquired after trading in his first wife for a "younger model."
Potentially but Rose Byrne is also Australian so her pronunciation could just be off.
I thought she was saying 'parisien/parisienne' in a French accent to be sound more pretentious and cultured, and actually adds to her upper middle class background.
oh that's why the kids dont like her. it has nothing to do w/ how she treats the other women.
"I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."
-Michael Scott
Rose Byrne is a genius! She should've been nominated for Best Supporting Actress like Melissa.
Totally agree. She has the bigger and more complex supporting role. Very underrated actress.
Too pretty.
@@fanOmry I have a theory they used her DNA to make Olivia Cooke
Rose Byrne never gets the props she deserves because she is gorgeous. Same with Brad Pitt, who is just now being recognized as an amazing actor now that he’s older. Maybe when she gets older, it’ll happen for her, too. Ppl figure you already have everything and don’t need more praise lol.
@@azeezahgoodwin918 LOL so true
"Oh you live in Milwaukee? Oh, I'm sorry!" Is still my favorite line in the entire film
In general her imitations where the absolute highlights!
What's wrong with Milwaukee? I'm not American btw...
@@CursedMudflap Milwaukee is perfect. I live there
i live in wisconsin and i died at that line lmao
HAHA YESS LMAO!!
Not a fan of romcoms in general but Bridesmaids is iconic, smart, and wholesome and is my go-to movie when I'm sad
Mine too, as while it is a typical "chick flick", it also focuses on female friendships and women behaving badly, and not just exclusively on romance!☺
I dont think it's a RomCom tho, it's just a comedy. The romance is just a side plot.
@@zeechops401 It's definitely got elements of romantic comedy even though they are subverted. Calling it just a comedy seems disingenuous.
friends with benefits is another romcom film that is my go to film
It's a special movie.
"Envy leads to *resentment* not love"-
*takes notes
This was great. And the fun thing about the "Helen of Troy" reference is that Rose Byrne was also in Troy!
"her culture's ultimate feminine success, marriage".
There is so much to talk bout this sentence
I think, it was meant from society's perspective. And whether we like it or not, the society still expects women to marry. You can have an incredible career, a great social life and a happy relationship, but if you're not married, there's something missing, you have not reached the 100% mark (same goes for children).
@@Taleneki you must be a man to think that
@@MsJilsephonie uh she was talking about society. Idk about the west but this is definitely true here
@@moon.937 you mean middle east, saudi arabia etc? than yes i agree with you
@@MsJilsephonie I'm obviously not. You don't have to be a man, you just have to be realistic and open your eyes. Just because the younger generations and the feminist movement don't think that way, doesn't mean that society overall doesn't expect that from women. It's stupid, but it's the truth.
This reminded me how in-depth and entertaining Bridesmaids is!
I didn't even realise who Annie and Helen's names allude to. This analysis of the deeper meaning of the movie is truly insightful and an excellent exploration of friendship dynamics. Thank you for making such awesome videos!
Funny how much money rich people spend to tell us that rich people are not happy.
Exactly, riches and success don't always lead to lasting happiness, so don't force others to blindly pursue them.
@@trinaq how rich are you?
Rich people want us to believe that money is not important and they’re miserable so we won’t start a revolution. 😂
@@sansam358 Eat the rich!
It’s not about Helen being rich, it’s about her underlaying insecurities and the compulsive need to overcompensate them.
I think about this every time I see friends posting their friendship (or love) declarations on social media, who is it really for? I see it as a way to show the public: "look, I am beloved, I have friends and our bond is strong".
omsnaga yeah I had a friend like that, always posting pics of us and making a scene in public... but when shit hit the fan she was no where to be seen
Michael Scott would argue that it is better to be both feared and loved.
They will fear how much they love you.
lmao
There was this girl in college, which I met at my first day there. She literal throw herself at me (it rained and she grabbed my arm), telling me her whole lifestory and seemed so fake with every sentence, that it immediately pushed me away from her. Later I found out that every other student felt the same about her and sonehow I felt sorry for her. She just wanted to make friends, but she was just too much for everyone.
Oh dear...I think I'm a diluted poor version of Helen.
Take this as the first step of growth....if you choose.
I most definitely am.
Same
Same, being a Helen is hard and terrifying
Same. I feel like shit
I feel like they’re both in the wrong though. Helen’s projection of perfection is detrimental because it sacrifices authenticity. But at the same time, Annie shouldn’t project her own insecurities on other women through jealousy.
No one is debating that Annie is right. You’re putting it on a seasaw. They’re both flawed in different ways. This is about Helen and they do mention how Annie’s insecurities are a problem.
I had never realized how well-written the dialogue in this film was.
Honestly the takes by The Take are a great way to find out why some pop culture fixes we thought had been shallow successes, like Bridesmaids and Mean Girls, have a whole lot going on under the surface that explains why they became so relevant.
why is it so rare to have deep female characters even nowadays? people are way more complex and as we get to know them we should see it. frankly family and friends who should know you often don't
Please please could you do a analysis of Death Becomes Her. Perhaps looking at the desperation of beauty and youthfulness, especially as its something the actresses Meryl Streep & Isabella Rossellini have struggled with in the film industry!! Its a underrated film that I would LOVE to you a analysis of. Also maybe the campy style of acting and why that style of film is rare to see when it works a lot better often then a comedy with ordinary acting.
oh my god YES.
Oh yeaaah agreeee
M Muss No one is stopping you from enjoying the video... and if suggestions in the comments bother you, it may be helpful to simply not read them
Woah. I was randomly thinking about this movie a couple hours ago. An analysis would be awesome
Yes please!!!
Damn, I've always thought I was more parallel with Annie because of her self criticism and self pity, but still felt for Helen - after she revealed how lonely and unhappy she was. However, I still blamed that on the fact that she was consciously fake. Now I've realized I'm more like Helen. I'm not glamourous or rich, nor do I feel like I have my shit together, but damn if I don't act like I do. I'm snobby, pretentious, and bluntly judgemental, all as an act to make myself look like I'm bigger than I really am, and I can admit that, but even in spite of me openly expressing how lost and unhappy I am to others, I still get the same reaction helen does from Annie - "Whatever. I don't feel sorry for you." And I never understood why I can't find people who care or understand that, but I'm realizing now that the reason is because I continue to put up walls making myself look neat and in tact, and people believe me. I look down at others because I'm angry and project my disapointment with myself on to the people around me, leaving them unsympathetic. So yeah, I needed this video. Thank you for this!
Wow, incredible level of self-insight, proud of you! :)
Keep going!
honestly, i can relate as well. especially what is said in 0:45. because looking back now, i don't think i have that one person that really know me & i can call best friend 😕
Thats verte insideful
same 😐
we should learn to admire someone's beauty without questioning our own
true
"I can't decide if I want to be her or be in her" Ilana Wexler
Why Helen has no friends:
1. Be fake friendly
2. Make people feel bad about themselves
3. Be possessive
4. Buy your friends
5. Move to fast
6. Do too much
7. Perform your friendship (put it on display)
Right she didn't just try to shoe up Annie she purposely used her fear of planes to get drugged so she would look like a better friend.
@@lstarsabb I don´t think she did.
as someone who once used to be a helen, the desire to maintain a perfect image definitely stems from insecurity-from being unable to be vulnerable because you think others won't like your true self. as i talked to more people, i noticed that the fake persona i took up was only perfect in my eyes. somehow, people were able to point out little things about me that i thought were hidden well, such as my proneness to embarrassment and sensitivity to criticism. flaws that i thought my kind words and politeness hid weren't hidden at all. everyone saw through it. at that time, however, it provided a sense of stability for me when my own self-image was unstable. i thought that everyone only saw the outer performance, and i thought everyone preferred it more than the inner performance
i actually haven't watched bridesmaids but now i will. this was a great analysis video!
Who else thinks it was unfair that both Cady from Mean Girls and Annie from Bridesmaids had to take all the blame and be the bigger person?
That's life
Jessica Victoria Carrillo yeah, sometimes you just have to take it and move on. It’s the adult thing to do. It’s about everyone at the end of the day -not how you alone are perceived.
Of course it was unfair, that's what their respective stories were about, rising above the petty social dynamics and developing as a person
Shit happens in life, like it or not. The most important thing is what to do about that/after that. It's a part of growing up.
I think Cady taking responsibility for everything-even the things she didn’t do-demonstrates that she just didn’t care anymore and had realized how above this she was. In a way, it was a pretty big win for her because she was able to cleanly leave the unnecessary toxicity behind, guilt-free, while other characters (like Gretchen) were still stuck in the cycle.
While Annie’s ending did seem a bit unfair, she still shared a bond with her best friend and regained a partner’s trust. By taking responsibility, she was able to accept and grow past her issues, while Helen, who low-key got away with her behavior, will continue to repeat the same pattern until she comes to the same realization as Annie.
Winning the battle doesn’t necessarily mean winning the war.
I'd love to see a movie about Helen's childhood and school years. I mean her parents obviously trained her to feel she is only admirable, fitting and overall worthy is she is flawless and perfect. she just don't know how to be anything else or she feels belittled to the minimal. She is actually the most complex and interesting characout of the whole movie.
I beieve Helen had accomplished middle-class or upper middle-class parents who very very narcissistic and only praised her if she did something right, or never even that - nothing was good enough for them, and she was trying to overcompensate in every way possible to make them happy. I see her father more like a wealthy lawyer or a doctor, and mom caring a lot about fashion and trends and styles, and how she appeared to others. Helen must have got the basics from her. However, I feel like Helen really had no friends at school. I can see Helen having a university and being an enterpreneur of some kind because she was really cultured and talented. She wasn´t really a stupid goose who was a gold-digger, but I believ that because of her looks and perceived status, she became a trophy second wife to her narcissistic husband. From the way she talked about him, he must have been a narcissist. It would be like living with Donald Trump. I also see Helen as a cheerleader at school. For some reason. Maybe even the Lead Cheerleader.
So, in the end both women have self-esteem issues. One overcompensates because of her perfectionism and cannot be authentic or genuine, which makes her play herself because she can't form a real bond with a friend. The other compares herself and blames others for making her feel bad about herself and her life choices, instead of taking responsibility for her life and her self-esteem/self-perception.
We're all a little fucked up, and while we shouldn't justify shitty behaviours, we can all judge each other a little less, so that we can improve and have better relationships.
Agreed. But do you really think we are all fucked up? Surely some humans have been able to luckily come out untainted.
7:49 "Somehow Helen's or Regina's transparently fake performance of niceness feels meaner than open hostility."
Yes, of course because if you try to openly rebut the hostile emotion behind the facade, the person can claim innocence and turn it back on you so you look like you're the jerk or crazy or mean girl. Classic female passive-aggressiveness 101. Saying that out of experience, mostly as a teenager, but I know some middle-aged women who still do this.
And like with Helen, a good way to undercut it is to try to empathize, humanize.
some individuals that's how they are. it's dumb to think they'll outgrow it; it's who they are! and honestly some individuals take things wrong. what you say they twist it. or they are thinking the same thing so why hate on you for it?
@@oooh19 I just disagree about people not changing, that's all. I've seen it over a longish life. Including my "Helen" from high school, including myself. Some people are jerks for life, but people are also complex and learn from experience.
@@growlinghands4696 what is "Helen" like today
@@incogb6696 We're only distant fb friends, but for one she apologized to me for how she treated me, which was lovely. That shows insight, self-reflection, and humility (she had none of those in HS). She said she was an angry and unhappy person back then but had grown up and for her I think it was partially having kids and family that put perspective on it. And time. We're both nearly 50.
"The love of a friend is truly a prize worth having, it makes everything else in life better" EXACTLY. Romance can and does fade in this day and age. Women get their emotional nourishment from other women not men.
LOL no
I've always had it from good men I've had in my life (now it is from my husband). I could never bond with women and I've tried
@@thamiresvaz3 maybe you were around the wrong girls/women?
Same. I’m a girl and I’ve always bonded very well with women. I have 1 best friend who has been great to me since middle school.
@@oooh19 Yeah. There are billions of women out there, so it's not impossible to bond with one.
12:25
"sometimes things that are expensive.... are worse"
Tipsylou oh bless you
All I think of is Freckle
Yeeesss
How NOT to be friends
1. Be fake-friendly while jabbing
2. Make ppl feel less than you
3. Be possessive over one friend instead of trying to make more
4. Buy friends to make them want you around instead of caring about them
5. Move too fast instead of allowing bond to grow over time
6. Doing too much for others to draw the attention to you
7. Perform a friendship to impress others
8. Not being yourself, putting up walls, not being vulnerable
Envy leads to resentment not love
I love Rose Byrne so so so much, I love how she's able to be funny in Bridesmaids and also believable as a conniving climber who's in over her head in Damages. It's especially admirable when you see her interviews where she sounds totally down-to-earth even though she's a movie star and a world-class beauty.
I remember loathing Helen when I saw the movie the first time, but when she started crying about not having friends I was surprised how much sympathy I felt.
It’s better to be feared than loved, but Macchiavelli also says the savvy politician/aristocrat knows how to engender both, and that’s the state one should strive for.
darkecofreak23 and above all, one must avoid being hated, because hatred can overcome fear.
lov3
Macchiavelli wasn't really talking about making deep lasting friendships.
@@Aster_Risk exactly lmao
Sooo, Michael Scott is basically the Machiavellian dream politician then lmao
Helen irritated my entire soul. She’s that one friend that you just wish would stop doing the most
Helen specifically says, "I don't have any *female* friends" (in the scene when she's crying to annie in the car) and remember that (I'm pretty sure I'm remembering correctly) she knows Lilian because she was a friend of *Doug's*. Then when Helen and Annie are trying to get the cop's attention Annie's actually being polite and apologetic about it and Helen starts yelling in a really rough way that traditionally would be perceived as more, like, masculine? I feel like it was hinting that Helen isn't actually that delicate in a traditional "feminine" sense.
However because we're kind seeing things from Annie's perspective more or less, Annie really sees her as kind of a very pretty, feminine standard, like how a "woman should be".. I just thought that was interesting.
how is yelling masculine lol? many women can have tempers. plenty of men don't
@@oooh19really, that’s all you got from the comment? They weren’t trying to say yelling was masculine. Maybe you don’t understand the context of “traditional”. “Traditionally” women are *expected* to be quiet and passive while men are *allowed* to be loud and aggressive. Yes we all know this is sexist and not true at all and humans are humans. The point is that Helen is actively trying to take the “traditional femininity” role which one would assume being quiet and polite, but that since the traditional femininity mask “cracked” at that time where she yelled leads to the possibility that in reality she was raised or accustomed to being around men, and quite comfortable not being “lady like”, and that her traditional femininity is a performance to gain acceptance. you’re welcome
I think it was Helen overcompensating yet again, and wanting to look like "cool" and "laid-back". I would not see anything deeper in this. It was a trauma response from childhood. She probably had rich narcissistic dragon parents who expected the best from her and never really praised her for anything, so she did not feel validated. Also, because she did not have any female friends because of this behavior, and she was exceedingly pretty, she must have been the trophy cheerleader irlfriend that every boy wanted, and I am sure that she date many of them in middle school and high school, albeit - I think - more innocently, just with the childhood petting and kissing and hugging, with no sex.
I love how women want to "have it all" and then when we meet women who "have it all" we hate them....makes sense.
Kenzie Kane It does make sense in a weird way. It’s sad though.
That's being human for you.
Women? In Germany it's part of or culture, we even have a term for that: Neidkultur. It's often discussed in our country.
That's sucks
@@lordbafford640 That's interesting. Danke.
“You hate me cause you ain’t me”
- what people used to say in the 90’s.
I've often noticed how Helen's perfection was an act, often showing subtext of emptiness. Annie seem to be down on her luck because she was a victim of her own circumstance.
I was often called a jerk for thinking this because the movie subverts you into thinking the enemy comes from the position the women play rather than the choices they make.
Rose Byrne absolutely crushed this role. She's brilliant.
The one thing I love about your explanation overall, is that both Annie and Helen needed each other in order to grow as people. Helen needed someone to teach her how to be a good friend and Annie needed someone to take her out of the fake ideals that she thought she needed to be a desirable woman.
I feel personally attacked...
J Vei I’ve just found out why I don’t have a best friend and struggle to keep friends.......
Like... ngl I haven’t even watched the movie I just like The Take... and this in conjunction with how I act, dress present myself in general and all my favourite characters. I love those enviable perfect characters I got called it in high school and I hated it when those same characters showed vulnerability and oh boy idk where to go from here.
But in the spirit of being a more well rounded actualised human being it’s nice to see we’re not alone here I guess
Recovering perfectionist here 🤚
@@azeezahgoodwin918 never recover! We want to be perfect because we want to be in control! If everybody else is flawed, who will run society?? 😂😂
@@charmedprince people people that actually get people. At least, that would be best.
Can anyone relate that once your best friend has kids the friendship doesn’t feel so close anymore? I’m happy for my best friend’s growth and transition to motherhood, but I feel sad that our friendship must, understandably, take a backseat. Family, especially kids, come first. I just send her spa gifts once in awhile as a homage to our friendship. Being a woman kinda sucks because it’s the mother that has to give up most of her time to raise a child. The dad no matter how involved he is, is still second to the mother. So friendships kinda suffer after a baby, even when they grow up some mothers (not all) are just not interested in being anything else but a mom. I think that’s changing tho. A lot of the younger generation are not letting motherhood take away from their other identities such as daughter, wife, sister and friend and even their hobbies.
Omg I hope that changes
yea but it's annoying how women are expected to be little miss perfect
Shows how talented Rose Byrne is to be able to play such a character so well.
yess!!!
I love this movie because it's very realistic, full of characters who feels real. Annie's a mess and Helen is the sad rich pretty girl we all know. Both of them did some pretty questionable things. But that's just humans. None of us is always a nice person, none of us is always a great friend.
My cousin was my Helen. She's smart, outspoken and pretty. It was only when I found out how hard she's worked to maintain her figure that I felt slightly better. I thought she was naturally thin.
Helen reminds me of the housewives featured in Big Little Lies, where they pretend to have a perfect marriage and life but when you peel back the layers of defense, what you see are broken marriages, trauma, anxiety, and depression all under the veneer of an idyllic, well-healed lifestyle of Monterey.
Cole Chapman I love that show ❤️
touche
I love this movie, and to this day, the character that annoys me the most is actually Lillian LOL
@Black Ninja yeah, I see that too (I think I actually watched this movie too much LOL), what I didn't like about Lillian is that a childhood friend will always be important and deserve the benefit of the doubt, you know? That's what I feel Lillian didn't give Annie and she should have. Lillian seemed so more interested in glamour and money, so she kinda pissed me off (and I feel guilty because I love the actress)
I don’t even like Lilian, and I usually love Maya Rudolph’s characters
@@DylanRomanov same here, I love Maya, but I can't stand Lillian lol
I had a childhood friend that acted like Lilian. And I pretty much felt like an Annie. But I am now more of a Helen. I don't hold any lasting relationships due to the fact I just don't trust anyone anymore.
I have my husband and my kids. And I usually always dress up nice for family events and his family always asks why.
I'm quiet but talk to people. But currently have no best friend except my husband. Lol
I am not rich by any means but my quiet and reserved demeanor has people assume I am always being judgey when I'm not.
Sometimes I'm just standing there.
It's okay to have a bit of both. We are complex creatures as humans.
Though I know the narrative of the film is not completely defined by it, I am tired of women envying each other for being prettier. It matters for the first 2-3 seconds you meet a person, and then other things take over- the way you talk, the way you dress, your body language, and your personality. Few people realise this, but after a while, your personality becomes you. After a while, people don't really remember the way you look-but how they felt talking to you, so be sure to leave them with a good feeling.
Helen is a tragic figure. Rose Byrne is actually brilliant in the role; her inflections and little details really add up to a compelling (and repellent) performance.
I really like the emotional focus on these video essays
Making the villain brunette and the hero blonde is a Bridesmaids accomplishment
that trope has been around since before Bridesmaids. the take even has a video about it in legally blonde.
love how you’re looking at movies not typically considered as having enough cinematic merit. Subscribed.
This movie was literally my childhood (well, 7th grade) and I used to want to be Helen so bad - so glamorous and impressive, but I also realized why and how Annie was the better friend. I'm so thrilled you made this video and I very much appreciate the in-depth analysis of a character everyone would presume to be so simplistic (the "money doesn't buy happiness" story we are well accustomed to). I also love how the movie showed all these ideas about authenticity even in your enmity for another. Thank you for this!
Funny thing is that I wasted years of my life trying to be an Helen,i know a girl who's an Helen, is impossible to be like that but is possible to be yourself and make the most of it, I also realized women see me as an Helen which is why I don't have female friends...funny
same here but I never tried to be a helen
Same.Ive had 2-3 girls i've gotten close with tell me "I used to look up to you." Oh, the horror. I'm a human wtf.
Beside the money part i realized i act like a helen. This gave me self realization of what things i have been doning wrong n why i feel aliented towards people. Thank you i will try to improve myself.
That one dislike was Annie 😂
I would say Helen lol
It's Helen..guys like u would wish to "transform" into Helen but smart women dont wish to be her, u know
Rose Byrne was seriously a revelation in this. She should’ve gotten an Oscar nomination
Love love love this channel! It is so thought provoking, and encourages you to apply critical thinking to entertainment. Film can be art if well done and if we learn how to consume it.
I agree, you wouldn't think that there's anything deeper to be taken from "Bridesmaids" other than a good time, but "The Take" will certainly show you otherwise!❤😊
Something tells me that Helen might have been that girl who wasn’t rich or considered pretty when she was younger so when she grew into her looks (or bought it) and married her wealth, she thought it’d be the only way to impress anyone who would be her friend if she would just be real
There are three reasons people overspend so much on occasions
- gratitude
- wanting to over compensate
- anxiety craving acceptance
Its not that Annie wants to be Helen. Its that Annie was asked to take on a bit of a financial burden by being a bridesmaid during a time where Lillian knew she couldnt do it and Helen rubbed her face in it. Helen made it worse by one upping Annie every single chance she got. She was fake and made jabs at her but those jabs were sugary sweet so when she blows up it makes Annie look bad. Helen creates her own misery and deserves it.
Oh my god ur explanation and analysis is amazingly good
To be honest I think Annie and Helen were as bad as each other.
Helen really was the definition of trying too hard, when someone is like that, whether it's trying too hard to be popular, funny, intelligent, worldly etc ... it comes across as so disingenuous and forced. In life being genuine always wins. People like Helen never really have deep meaningful friendships ... they just know a lot of people.
Annie is someone at some stage in life I think most of us have known. Someone who takes their insecurities and jealousies out on other people, it's almost as if you can never share good news with people like that and you have to walk on eggshells around them because you don't know how they'll react. They can never seem to be happy for others. If you have to dim other peoples light in order to shine yourself something is seriously wrong.
I think Megan was the best character in Bridesmaids she was kind, wise, strong minded, assertive, didn't need validation from anyone and was unapologetically herself. Most of all she wasn't petty like the other women. Despite being bullied in the past she was totally her own person with great individuality. Annie would have been much better to have Megan as a best friend instead of Lilian who seemed so toxic and fake.
Ugh I loved Meghan. Definitely the best character.
every women with mommy issues who haven’t dealt with their issues yet (including me) is just helen, making female friends is so gdamn hard and when i actually get one, i try to do everything for them over the top its draining actually
I have never watched this movie and I really want to watch this now. I had a "friend" EXACTLY like Helen. She was overtly nice to everyone, often making grand gestures to pay for everyone's meals or like gifting expensive presents. What gave me chills was the part of the video where she was demeaning to someone who complimented her on her looks because I'VE SEEN HER DO THE SAME. Someone told her she was pretty and she replied with "Thank you! You are so sweet!" *goosebumps*
Difference is that I wasn't envious of her and I think she hated that the most. "Her tactic" didn't work on me and suddenly, I became the competitor, the ENEMY. We had a "Lilian", a friend we both shared and it had begun as the 3 of us together as friends. She would invite "Lilian" alone to special posh meals, not including me at all, and then tell me things the next time we met "Oh we took the 1h train to another town JUST for breakfast. It was so good, you should go there sometime!" And I would be left there thinking: Why wasn't I invited?
But here is where movie Helen differed from her. She lied to "Lilian", telling her things about me that weren't true and basically in the first year of uni, I was left with ZERO friends. And for someone who isn't an extrovert + living 16 hours away from her home country + studying in a stressful medical school, I did not do well at all. I often thought that it was my fault, wondering what I did wrong for them to distance themselves away from me like that. It is something that has affected me permanently. It is something I am still in therapy for lol.
But one day, "Helen" was absent from class and "Lilian" sat next to me at lecture for the first time in months. We chatted like old times and I couldn't take it anymore. I was blunt and asked her. That was when she told me that "Helen" had told her months back that I wanted time alone with this other guy I sat in lecture with that I "supposedly" liked. Which wasn't true. Him and I had only gotten closer because he noticed I was left alone all the time and PITIED me.
"Lilian" started realising a lot of other things in that one conversation and we are closer now than she is with "Helen"
Just wanted to give this anecdote because Helens do exist and sure, they may all be really nice and soft inside, but you do not NEED put up with them in your life. My life was miserable and I am glad that portion is finally over.
I really like this character analysis, it really helped me understand this ex-friend of mine more. I can understand her now, but I still disagree with all the poop she put me through... the end :)
I get you, but why is "Thank you! You are so sweet!" creepy? Lol.
@@incogb6696 haha I was referring to @7:08 where she was being condescending and my friend did that too. I got the chills because that scene just brought on flashbacks haha. Back then, I never saw it to be any problem because it wasn't directed at me lol :)
I feel like Helen uses her conventional attractiveness, social status and class status as a way to extert power as well as to express feeling threatened by Annie's authenticity. She probably felt that in a way that Annie would steal Lillian from her (which isn't true). She might be secretly unhappy and hiding it from everyone but Annie doesn't hide her pain which I believe is why Helen felt so threatened by Annie.
Men - horrible to their friends
Women - nice to their enemies
I am a man 😋
I am so glad that you made this video. Your analysis of the relationships between Helen, Annie, and Lillian really helped me to realize why certain elements are important in a relationship. Anyone could say that she isn’t a good friend because she isn’t genuine or sympathetic, but you were able to see and analyze these traits and their effect on the relationship. A real eye opener as to the movie AND real life.
I lowkey LOVED "Bridesmaids." It really spoke to my soul in a way I couldn't describe. This video really shed some light on my own issues with a certain former friend.
We were classmates from elementary to high school. Said girl was your typical over-achiever. She was always class president, performed song and dance numbers during school events, and often had a boy linked to her every single school year. Meanwhile, I was the artsy kid, a bit of a weirdo, who loved to read books and had only a small circle of friends. Ms. Perfect was the valedictorian in both elementary and high school, while I placed second to her, only by a few points. We were close friends towards the end of high school, often bonding over boy problems. We then diverged paths in college, where she went to a provincial university, whereas I attended a big public university in the big city.
I then had a falling out with her because I saw how artificial she really was. She would change boyfriends every year, excel academically by being dramatic to her professors, and often had a group of followers who worshiped her.
Like Annie in the movie, as an adult, I did encounter my own personal tragedies as an adult. I also a good relationship with a man my parents hated, thus straining my family life at home. Meanwhile, Ms. Perfect was living her best life, flaunting on social media how wealthy she was getting, her engagement, and her various career advancements. Like Annie, I was deeply envious of her, to the point of pure hatred. I often talked about how fake she was, how she was hiding a shallow mind with a sunny disposition.
At some point, I realized, like Annie, how I was my own worst enemy. Sure, something tragic had happened in my life because of forces I couldn't control. Yes, my parents refused to acknowledge my boyfriend. But only I could make my life better. And I didn't need to turn into Ms. Perfect (who, I learned, also had some deep issues, like rumours that her fiance was gay, and being buried in debt). Life slowly turned around for me, and I found opportunities and healing. .
Life can really be shitty, and when we are in a dark place in our adult life, we tend to question our choices. We often ask how we can achieve more while we're still young. The truth is, while we are in a dark place in life, we shouldn't be aspiring to have someone else's life, just because we think it's better. Things can turn around, and only we can make the best life for ourselves.
The conclusion that states clearly how we don't put enough value on friendship and referring to our platonic relationships as, "only a friend." This downplays how much work it takes to love, trust, and maintain it for years and even decades. Friendship is truly priceless and can last a lifetime.
1. Rose Byrne is named Helen in "Bridesmaids".
2. This video compares Helen Harris III to Helen of Troy
3. Rose Byrne played a priestess in the 2004 film "Troy" (set during the Trojan War)
Yes, these are small details, but what an interesting connection/coincidence. Always enjoy watching The Take.
Having a true friend (s) is the hardest one imo. You have your family gifted and a system that helps you find a partner. No system guarantees you a friend apart from time.
Also while watching it for the first time, I didn't despise Helen but Lillian. You can expect a perfect society woman to act like that but Lillian was Annie's best friend and couldn't even acknowledge how this was all affecting her. She never had to prove to Annie or Helen.
This video describes perfectly why some people make me uncomfortable when I meet them and why I don't have friends (except the money part, I'm poor)
Are you an empath?
"Perform your friendship" So many people my age and younger do this. Because we don't know what it's like to not have social media and not put shit on display. I never realized how maybe I do this with my friends just to show the world that I'm not lonely. I spent hours looking at other people's social medias...especially other women's and their photo albums of friendships....I felt like I needed that.
I got mad at a friend for not speaking to me for months and posting statuses like "hanging out with friends". It made me think I guess I'm not one of those friends and I don't matter. She then revealed to me that she was super depressed and only put those statuses up to make people think she was okay.
honestly as hilarious as melissa was, there was nothing in her performance that rose’s didn’t have as well. she should also have gotten a Best Supporting Actress nomination. her Helen was the movie’s secret weapon
this type of female character is always portrayed as someone to be hated and considered superficial, but when its a guy hes a badass
No.The bully asshole is a male Helen
No one considers the male version a bad ass. Just an ass
penelope pittstop actually not really they’re considered a cool aloof loner
@@andrealopez8142 right.... An ass. No one considers them cool at all.
So true! And hot and "dynamic"
Please could you do a Over The Garden Wall anaylsis. It would be perfect for October/Halloween, and it would be cool to see you dive into the themes and the brothers relationship between a optimistic and a pessimistic.
OMG Yes!
Yes!!
Dude, Movie Idea: A movie with Helen, Regina George, and all these types of female antagonists, and have them work together on a mission impossible mission!
Ocean's eight?
HELL YAS!!!