I'm a boi and my favorite color used to be pink (it's purple now) I remember a girl at school who literally said "i feel the urge to punch every single girl who likes wearing pink right in their face" and I would look at her like she was a psycho 👀 👄
The worst part of this trope is when girly girls are shown as vapid and shallow, because it it then teaches young girls that being girly and feminine is bad and how there’s something shameful with being female...
And the girl who is supposed to be the counterpart is still conventionally attractive and feminine enough to "get the guy", like the sin is to care too much or way too little to the point of not looking like the "cool girl".
So the world wants to make everything into dirty/mud and mean/nasty that’s wrong and i won’t do it, also girls are girls if mr macho masculine acting men are sooooo like conservative why do they want to kill of the girl stereotype and make them “butches” it’s wrong and most don’t want to do that I’m tired of it the racism of feminism and being “girly” and happy/attractively pretty looking, enough is enough it’s not the 1950s it’s the 2020s, it’s time the world of masculine acting all “RAAAAH ME HATE HAPPY/PRETTY BECAUSE IM ANGRY/UGLY AND THEY SHOULD BE UNHAPPY LIKE ME” starts to behave themselves and live and let be because it’s called misbehaving i won’t tolerate it
I felt the same way. I would get shamed for being girly but I always thought it was unfair that people in general would praise transexuals males for being girly as well.
Alexis Co. wait they would actually do that...? Wow never heard that one before the late 2010s were truly the worst time in history for anything in general all because of those people🙄
I love that Elle Woods never abandons her femininity even while going for what was considered a masculine job. She's surrounded by more masculine women who occasionally share their hatred for her because of her girliness and by men, especially he professor who sees her as nothing but as an object he can use to win a case easily. Elle fights through it all and is a self run successful girly girl.
Exactly. I feel lik that movie was so ahead of its time in reclaiming femininity. I love how Elle’s “girly ness” isn’t a hindrance to her succeeding in her dream job, but is actually a plus. Her knowledge of hair care and fashion helped her solve a case no one else could.
Exactly! Even tho she stopped wearing pink and wore much more black and dark colours she realised in the end that she didn’t need to change herself to be considered “smart”. She can be both as it should be
I also like how Elle Woods even admitted Vivian looked nice, even when Vivian was being catty to her. I love how she never sold her friend out for her ex-boyfriend's attention. Of course it had other problems with gay stereotypes, but it was overall a nice movie and a breath of fresh air. It was way ahead of its times.
I love it! The movie is so ahead of it's time when it comes to femininity. liking "girly" things doesn't make you weak, and a lot of people need to learn that.
That's weird because I lived the opposite of your life , I tried to like flowers, fairies, doing everything to be pretty and shopping so I could have friends. Boys /girls hated me for being "tomboyish". Well, hope you are doing well and now loving yourself for what you are, no matter what people think about it 😎
Same, i was pretending to be a tomboy to be liked in school because girliness was so mocked... i couldn't wear anything pink or i would became a punching bag. It took me good 4 years to regain by femininity, right now i can't imagine not wearing pink.
"Bella is reorganizing her life around a guy who wants to kill her, but at least she doesn't care about prom." OMG I'm crying, this is the best thing I heard all week
It's funny to me that Bella in Twilight is praised for being "different" and "not like other girls", but any girl who liked Twilight during its peak was mocked for being "like other girls" and "basic".
@@kalki3060 it’s target audience was 13 year old girls who were still trying to figure out what was romantic love before they had the chance to truly experience it. why would you mock them for it?
@@marif2993 what I mean is the movie's really bad,I liked twilight when I first saw it.(I was 12 or 13 then!) But now I realise how toxic it is. We all have bad taste in our childhood. But I hope no one who is considered an adult thinks it's non toxic.
I think the idea of feminine women liking diamonds and jewelry is really interesting, considering that historically, women owned jewelry because they legally couldn't open bank accounts independently. Jewelry and diamonds were once the only way women could have guaranteed access to their own wealth.
What I don't like when writers have girly characters stop being feminine as part of their character development. It's as if they are saying being girly is a bad thing and being into more masculine things or wearing boyish clothes makes you better. I know films use clothes as a way to show characters personalities, but why is always girly characters that need to change themselves What I liked about legally blonde is that they didn't change the way Elle dressed to show that she has become smarter
Precisely, that's always been a pet Peeve of mine, as if it's somehow "wrong" to be Girly. In reality, you like what you like, and you shouldn't be judged or ridiculed simply for having traditionally feminine or masculine hobbies. 💄💅⚽ 🎮
Exactly! I have seen in movies and tv where they have a character wear less make up or wear jeans instead of short skirts to show that they have become better people or are less insecure or less desperate for attention. Sorry what
If it was a masculine character that gradually turned girly, they would view it as a bad thing or that the character was trying to fit in. I'm saying this from my own experience watching teen stuff
@@pepperonipizza2718 Totally, it makes ZERO sense, it's sending a problematic message to impressionable young girls out there, who may take this to heart. 😔
legally blonde has been fueling my unapologetically woman oriented feminism since I was 7. women can do anything men can yes, but more importantly women can do anything we set our mind to. arbitrary limitations to our capacities centered around men's capacities are irrelevant. I will never ever renounce my traditionally feminine presentation in order to be and taken seriously, I will be heard and respected as an intelligent and profound human being wearing a pink miniskirt as much as I would be wearing a navy power suit or so help me god
@@spoiltmilk6511 Honestly, same. I have a very feminine style and I'm not planning to give up on it because some dude is too ignorant and shallow to judge people by something other than his own prejudice.
For me Its the movie that exemplifies feminism or girl Power done right on screen. Not being shoe horned or taking it down to our throught. It Just shows how a girl who loves make up and fashion can also be super smart, creer driven and intersted in finding romance. Its the most perfect film that makes girls feel empowered
@savannah it’s one of my favorites and clueless is really good as well, I prefer the comedic timing in legally blonde it made laugh a lot. I loved the character of Elle Woods she is sweet, feminine and smart but flawed which helped the character to not being a Mary Sue Her character’s flaws I think is the reason why she went to Harvard but it’s great we saw how she latter loved the career pad she picked instead of fashion. It’s not like fashion wasn’t good but hey it’s nice that she ended up loving law school. She found romance by being nice to another guy after she out Warner was an idiot. It’s a great comedy which portrayed girl power the right way. More recently I think I feel pretty it’s a great movie to make girls feel empowered, many criticized it because of the leading actress(Amy Schumer ) without giving it a chance but I think that movie gives a nice message to women. Watch it and latter what you thought about it
Dang, as I get older, I realize that I used to pretend not to like girly things because I thought it meant I couldn't like other things like comic books. We need to teach girls that they can be more than just one thing.
yes! I grew up being shamed because I'm super girly, I tried to change when I was about 10/11 years old, but being "not like the other girls" is not for me, when I was 12 I met other girly girls and I finally accepted my hiper-femininity
I remember when I was little I pretended to hate nice dresses to my mom, even though I caught myself thinking several times that I didn't actually dislike wearing them. At this point I didn't have any female friends, I'd grown up with an older brother and the few friends I had were male, so I felt like I had to perform being a tomboy in order to fit in where I felt like I could. God, having female friends as a girl is so damn important and healthy.
I had that face, too. I was 5, but it only lasted like a week because I missed wearing bows and tutus, and I realized I couldn’t live without glitter and pink in my life.
Yes! I love all girly things, but I'm also a huge nerd, I love books, star wars, superhero movies, and I also love the great outdoors, math, dance and so much more. Just because I'm girly doesn't mean I don't like other things or even things that are considered masculine sometimes.
We need to teach all kids they can like what they like and it doesn’t mean they’re not smart. It’s what you know that makes you smart, not what you look like or what your hobbies and interests are.
Black women were especially shamed in our communities for being feminine and girly when I was growing up. "You think you cute huh?" was the common phrase for those of us who wanted to doll ourselves up and liked certain fashion styles deemed "white".
@@PrincessLioness Exactly! A recent and very new trope I've taken notice of is the "awkward black girl" trope, and it's like looking in a mirror, lol. So nice to see.
Totally agree and it’s something I’ve always hated well into adulthood. Black women can be many things and yet we get shamed for stepping outside of what the people around us consider “normal”.
Best show to deal with sexism is Avatar: The Last Airbender. Just look at the Kyoshi warriors or Ty Lee. Ty Lee is sweet, pretty, cared about her looks, always wore pink, but she’s not shallow, she’s one of the best fighters. My favorite line is when sokka tells suki he treated her like a girl when he should’ve treated her like a warrior and she didn’t take it as a compliment, she told him she was both. That’s an insult and she made it clear she was proud of her gender
I loathe when a Girly Girl is portrayed as a shallow, vapid airhead with nothing on her mind except for shopping and makeovers. Thankfully, this Trope is becoming more nuanced, with Elle Woods being a prime deconstruction of how a traditionally feminine character can be more than she initially appears. 💞 🛍️💄
I was about to say that , that they portrayed this trope as in toxic femininity, always in competition, shallow, stupid and always judgements. I hated that. Because I’ve always felt like this trope. But I had trouble embracing because I thought it was a bad thing
I hate how this trope shaped the notion that girls who enjoy shopping can’t be academic, I want to be a doctor however constantly see female medics being judged on their academic ability based on how stereotypically feminine they behave, honestly to quote the queen herself “I’m like totally into shopping” (also love how Blair warldorf defied this trope)
Blair was the most *hardworking* character yet the most *"girly"* one She was the complete opposite of an airhead (unlike Chuck in the first seasons lol) and she showed everyone that you can be into shopping/fashion/romantic movies, yet still be extremely smart and become a ppwerful business woman.
I was always praised in school for being smart. I knew how smart I was as a kid. But growing up, I was more interested in fashion and makeup and wearing earrings, but my parents told me to stop thinking about that because my only job was being a student and being well behaved. And I was. When I moved out in my twenties, I was able to do all those things I wanted, and it made me happy. But the intelligence never went away. See? You can be two things at the same time. I’m both in the smart and girly girl trope.
I had a science teacher tell me he hated to see me "waste my brain" when I got into the school of music at my first choice university. Isn't it terrible how we devalue everything that people think is more feminine, including the arts?
When I was a kid I was bullied by other girls for liking pink because that was too "girly" not "cool". I asked my sister if I was a girly girl or tomboy and she said, "neither." I think most girls aren't completely girly girls or tomboys. We're just human.
Absolutely. I loved everything stereotypically girly but most people wouldn't have known that because I dressed in more goth/punk styles and liked rock/metal music. But secretly I loved pop just as much.
So are the girly girls and tomboys. We are just something in between. We don't want lables. We are going to wear what we like in the moment. And we are going to do what our current mood is gonna say. Not something we are expected to do because of some label
This reminds me of the hate that "basic" girls get when they enjoy things such as Starbucks, Ugg boots, etc... like why can't they just live their lives and like what they like?
Real feminism is a woman being what makes her happy, living her best life. Anyone throwing shade because its pink, or butch, or sleeps around, or stay-at-home, or childless....needs to get their OWN life, and quit telling any woman how she is "supposed" to be living hers.
That's right. Nowadays some women has a problem with people who judge a woman over the fact that her job is masculine (and they are right to judge those people). But on the other hand they also judge some other woman over the fact they she is a housewife. Like damn! I don't think you are supposed to be fighting for women's rights if you'll end up taking them away yourself
"Real feminism is never criticizing woman for their life decisions." No. It isn't. Don't add "sleeps around" like its an ok thing for woman to do. you might as well add "it's her choice to do heroin".
@@ZachStachelski13 okay but who cares? If men and women wanna indulge in hookup culture then that's on them... They should have a right to indulge in them... It's not illegal and it's not killing anybody
I remember when I was a girl I loved Kim Possible. She loved to shop, cheerlead, and stuffed animals. She also saved the world and could go toe to toe with anyone. I really hated the remake because it seemed to mock her girl side and took away her cheerleading. It made her seem like she was a cry baby and not the girl who did cry, get mad, happy, and loving. When you create a character that is girly and tough you create something that little girls feel important. And I know I’m not alone. Every time I talk about this show with different age groups and it is women, they lit up. They talk about how it made them feel confident.
Totally spies is a big one to they loved shopping and saving the the world one was really smart, one was good at sports, I think the other one loved animals
I felt the same way about Blossom from the power puff girls and that's why she was my favourite, even though she's the least liked of the ppgs overrall
@@lucyn3771 same. Whenever I see her I don't like it but it's not that she's doing anything it's something is off lol. I can't pinpoint it. It's not even anything bad, it's just off.
One of my favorite quotes from Avatar the last airbender: “I treated you like a girl when I should have treated you like a warrior” “I am a warrior, but I’m a girl too” This show has a great portrayal of it’s female characters! While some of them are more of a tomboy (like Toph, or Mai), some are more girly (like Ty Lee, Suki, or Katara) but all of them are absolute badasses. Even characters and side characters that are not fighters and could be easily seen as a girly girl cliche are never treated like a joke!
And even tomboy-ish gals like Toph might enjoy getting a makeover every once in a while! And it's not portrayed as a bad thing or like you have to be one or the other. (see Tales of Ba Sing Se)
And the girls build each other up! Like when Toph and Katara got made fun of for getting makeovers and Toph opened up about being insecure and not even knowing what she looks like; Katara didn’t belittle her or write it off like it didn’t matter. She just told her friend she thought she was genuinely “really pretty” and it made Toph smile
@@xXCherryKoolAidXx I loved that moment! Even as a little girl, I feel that Katara was honest and copassionate with Toph and other girls. I hate it when women tear each other down like in reality shows, etc.
@@Im_Julissa yeah that is soooooo political, she is white enough and not feminist and political enough to be loved and praised by the right, why do you think she was the person of the year with so many genocides and crisis happening in the world
A pattern that I've noticed is that a lot of kids reject 'girly girl' things until they're old enough to recognize the prejudice and appreciate the 'girly girl' for what it is. (Also this vid made me think of that New Girl quote where Jess tells the lawyer... "I brake for birds, I rock a lot of polka dots, I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not smart and tough and strong. Now I’m going to go pay my fine with checks that have baby farm animals on them, bitch!"
I just wish that quote didn't happen right before Jess was going to walk the wrong way... The quote is good, Jess was a bad rep for girly girls with their shit together.
@@somethingcooliguess Yeah, sometimes comedy shows will underplay serious moments for a laugh. Jess def gets her shit together in the later seasons though- it's character development! :)
@@somethingcooliguess Jess did a good job for a girly girl - she showed that her strength (mostly) was in her kindness and her love for girly things was ALWAYS played off as endearing and she was STILL a character with her shit together who becomes the principal. Cece was a girly girl too - heck, she was a model. She was an even better example because despite loving getting ready she was insanely tough and smart and caring
I’ve recently started to watch new girl, and it has given me a whole new perspective on femininity. I loved this episode, and specially the fact that both of them at the end didn’t fight for the guy, but talked through to solve their differences.
We also shouldn't bash on women who genuinely want to get married and raise a family as her goal. It's freedom of choice for many people, and we have the right to choose what we want in life. No matter how simple or difficult it may be.
I feel the same course if I hear from any kid that is their main goal I would ask them what are you gonna do before? It'd be nice to see a butch homemaker not one overcompensating.
I'm a stay-at-home mom and on the mom groups we are shamed. I would never ever shame a working mom, a unmarried mom. But I get shamed for my choice every single day.
Yeah, I want to raise a family some day and I want to do it in a certain way. If that means I have a to be a stay at home mom (if my future husband has a job that will let me do that) then I will be.
YES! My favourite thing when I was younger was that they were besties and they stayed besties. When I first watched it I absolutely loved both Tiana AND Charlotte and I expected them to make ChArlotte, when she was older, like a brat or a mean girl or just them not as good friends and I’m glad that they didn’t go down that route.
“I wanna love glitter, and also stand up for the double standards that exist in our society. I wanna wear pink, and tell you how I feel about politics. I don’t think those things have to cancel each other out.” - Taylor Swift, in Ms. Americana, 2020
I love her I am a complete girly girl and I’m not ashamed of it I thankfully was not raised to be ashamed of it although my past relationship made me feel bad about the type of music I like and now I feel scared of playing my music on calls with friends because I feel like they’re going to judge me the same way that my ex did also I’m bisexual and this was very degradingBut I already knew that coming out to my mom wasn’t going to be a good idea she’s already homophobic she didn’t snap at me but she tried to give me all of the possible reasons in this world as to why I’m not bisexual she even went as far as saying but that can’t be possible you’re such a girly girl I just don’t see it that was one of the many degrading comments she made about me in the past months so this is currently my life
@@Grace-mb8tb i don't consider myself a girly girl. I do hold in alot of things by im trying to keep the peace... maybe not always a good way to handle things... but when im not doing that, I can be brash. Thats the word, right? Abrasive, blunt, no filter, whatever. Ill go off on a room full of ppl. I can give no fs. Thats not "too lady" like but whatever. Bc humans can't even handle cordial, civil, or basic mannerisms either
@@etherealprincess2809 idk if anything I kind of had the opposite problem. I went from worrying that people would judge me for being girly to passionately flaunting my girliness. But when I want to college no one really cared how I dressed since people there were more open minded. Then I realized that I was being very defensive about my girliness in the past and that I could let my guard down now that I was older
Same gurl same i honestly never hate on any colour but from my experience and specially online idk why people hate pink so much its just a colour nothing is wrong with it ;-;
The thing is: you can look girly and like pretty things, but that doesn’t mean that’s all you are as a person. You can be and like whatever. I’m girly but I love rock music and horror movies. And that’s okay. You can act like a lady, and be a badass at the same time.
That’s the thing I hate about stereotypes. It’s either you are this and like this so you are called this or you are this. It’s super annoying. Why can’t we just drop the whole “girly girl ( a girl who acts like a “girl” and likes pink but doesn’t like “boyish” stuff ) and the whole Tom boy ( a girl who doesn’t act like a “girl” and likes boys stuff and hates pink and girly stuff) it’s really annoying. Especially what they named it. “Tom boy” SERIOUSLY to identify a girl who likes being her self you are identifying her as a gender who she’s not? She’s not a boy or acting like one. She’s herself. And girly girl? PFFT please pink is a COLOUR it has NOTHING to do with being a girl.
also important to note: feminine coded character feelings aren’t always just disregarded, but often viewed as vapid and childish. jessica is treated, in both novel and book, as immature and lacking any depth, when she actually tries really hard to be bella’s friend. she opens up to her, keeps trying to uphold friendship while bella is going insane over a dude she knew a few months (much more immature imo), and is actually rly emotionally intelligent. she notices how bella is acting off constantly, and she’s aware and understanding of her own feelings, and her friends around her. she’s not perfect, but she isn’t a one dimensional person either
"Fine! I cared. I’m a girly girl. I like boys, and I don’t like it when they’re mean to me, and I don’t like it when they stop kissing me and start kissing my friends, I’m not that cool, I’m not Juno, homeslice."
@@dgvanz1155 It's particularly good at addressing and at times even subverting those tropes, while in a way acknowledging their role into shaping common narratives.
KAKAKAKAKAKAK this is wonderful! PRANK! It is terrible! I looked in the mirror and saw something UNPRETTY: my face. KAKAKAKAKAKA! But I am happy agayn because I have TWO HOT GIRLFRIENDS and I use them to get views on my videos! KAKAKAKAK!!! Good day, dear h
Likewise, it offers a unique take on common media tropes, and I almost always find myself agreeing with their arguments by the end of the video, even if I didn't initially! 📹👏🏾💙
In the movie mean girls, Regina George is a girly girl BUT in the end of the film she has transformed into a sporty girl and it is implied that she's now happier than ever. Was she a terrible person just as a girly girl? Cindy was rejected when she transformed into a girly girl, and her love interest showed care for her geek side. Meanwhile the tomboy/goth girl manages to find a guy at the end of the film, just magically.
Not really sure why you took her joining the sports team as her rejecting being a girly girl. She just joined the lacrosse team. She is happier than ever because she doesn't have to keep maintaining a facade that left her with friends she barely liked, a boyfriend she didn't want, eating food she hated, and never really expressing her emotions. And now she is finding enjoyment in an activity that would probably diminish her social status before and finally has an outlet for all this anger and rage she feels. That doesn't make her not girly. Also Cady loved math and was interested in the mathletes. But then was told to maintain a certain level of social status and for her to get the guy she was interested she had to start failing math. She wasn't being true to herself. Aaron didn't like necessarily like her geeky side, he just liked her being herself. The main problem with Mean Girls is that even though the point is that all the girls are mean the main mean girl is a girly girl. And media likes to do that to girly girls. For some reason having feminine girlish interests makes you hateful.
I dont think that's really the takeaway here, Karen Smith was THE girly girl of the group. yet, at the end of the movie when it is established that they have all given up the "Plastics" persona in order to be happy as themselves she still is a girly girl. Regina's transformation is most likely due to her not actually enjoying being a girly girl and just doing it due to the social supremacy she got from excelling at being a girly girl. For her it wasn't genuine liking of these traditionally feminine roles, it was a performance created for the purpose of being praised and loved by society
I wanna see a teen film where a dark skin black girl plays the main character and she's a kind, caring, and super-duper girly. I've always been a daddy's girl and this hyperfeminine style of clothing and body language is my pale pink cup of tea.
Everyone has to learn we're not just girly or cool or nerdy or a tomboy. We can have a full multi-faceted personality and not one of these traits is inherently better or worse than the other.
I agree. Sometimes I like girly things and sometimes I don't. But these days children are being forced into being complete girly girls or tomboys to the point of being potential transmen if female and macho boys or completely effeminate if male. They are pushed into being the steretype for the gender they were born with or be a candidate for transitioning with puberty blockers.
I agree, it is also circumstantial, e.g. I love pink, floral dresses, and parfum, but as I'm an agronomist I have to wear boots, pants and a hat to work.
I'm strong, intelligent, independent, and a girly girl! Damn proud of it, too. I like having long hair, wearing makeup, wearing dresses, glitter, being pretty, dislike sports, enjoy reading, writing, drawing, got straight As in school, have a degree, bought my own home, and raised two kids, one of them entirely on my own. Shout out to girls who are proud to be girls.
@@ZachStachelski13 Maybe you're just bitter because you can't accomplish as much on your own. Maybe you shouldn't be so judgy, especially when you don't know the others' situation. Imagine saying that to a widow.
@@ZachStachelski13 honey i dont think u realise that we live in the 21st century and shaming someone for having children out of wedlock is not a thing anymore nor does it make any logical sense (which based on your comment u lack greatly).
I watched "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" for the first time ever a few months ago and I didn't get the impression that we were being encouraged to look down on Marilyn's character - in fact, the big speech the character makes towards the end about how she's labelled a gold-digger for doing the same thing men do by other means made me think the movie was created to push back on the trope. The character shows creativity, ingenuity, ruthlessness and razor-sharp intelligence throughout the movie. She is so self-aware and deliberately subverts the power dynamic in her story.
I thought the same thing when I watched it. Of course sometimes in the movie they use her personality as a comic relief, but they also make her smart, hardworking, and a decided person. They made her aware of how men saw her and she used it against them to her own benefit.
@@annyviana21 I loved her response when she realised she'd been seated next to the little boy at the dinner table🤣I also love her relationship with her friend. It was such a lovely depiction of female friendship. Her friend knows her and accepts her for who she is. Was so happy that the friend came through all the way to the end. And that number with the half-naked men was AMAZING. It made me think of modern music videos but with the men being the video vixens.
"Don't you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty. You might not marry a girl just because she's pretty, but, my goodness, doesn't it help. And if you had a daughter, wouldn't you rather she didn't marry a poor man? You'd want her to have the most wonderful things in the world and to be very happy, oh why is it wrong for me to want those things?" "I can be smart when it's important, but most man don't like it"
I'm going to edit this because now that I'm reading it. it sounds kinda cringe 😬 😅: I don't like it when both a tomboy and girly girl fights over a boy.
@Lilac that's what I'm talking about why can't there be a stories with a tomboy and girly girl liking each other in a romantic way. It cloud be enemies to Lover's kind of story. Also what about goth girlxprep/girly girl.
it's so weird that for a period of time in the media, being a "badass girl" literally meant either being a straight up bitch with no emotions or acting like a man, and any girl who doesn't automatically want to act like a man is inferior. I remember being a kid and being so scared to admit I liked girly things because other GIRLS or WOMEN (like my mum etc) would make fun of girls who did, I kept saying my favourite colour was blue even though it was pink, hopefully the future generation of girls wouldn't need to live through that.
As a mother to a 4 year old girl: although i always offered her all color choices, all toy types, nomatter if its a car, building blocks or a barbie and always tried to shop clothes that include all styles - she LOVES pink, glitter, dolls, dresses, princesses, pretty much from the start 😂🤷♀️ not all stereotypical preferences are taught, some are genuinely just there! She is a girly girl without me forming her into one. But she is also bright, clever, empathetic, caring, goofy, adventerous, energetic, bookish, artsy and a great friend. So what does that tell us in the end? Being a girly girl doesnt define us whatsoever. It means literally nothing if you like pink, princess dresses and romance. Because you can simultaneously be a badass and a geek. Be who you are, unapologetically!
My mom said that's exactly how I was growing up too and her and my Dad never "taught" or forced any of that on me either. It's just generally who I am. And yes my Dad "taught" me about more masculine things like cars, sports like baseball and basketball, and action movies but he never made me feel ashamed for preferring the traditionally feminine things over those and as a result I'm proud that I'm mostly a girly girl who loves dressing in skirts, dresses, and heels, purple and glitter, watching rom-coms, loving musicals, wearing makeup, and pursuing a career as a nail technician because of my love for nail painting and nail art while at the same time not being afraid to get my hands dirty, knowing how to fix any minor problems with my car, enjoying baseball or softball, and loving reading
@@oncerand_directioner that is so amazing! You have wonderful parents 💜 all things are just here to be enjoyed and experienced, we shouldnt box them up in categories anyway. My son is only 1, but he will receive the same freedom of choice and empowerment of being himself as my daughter does, however that may be!
@@emiliana1767 Aw thank you! I totally agree that no one should be boxed into a category because we are all complex, multifaceted human beings. Your daughter and son are lucky to have you as mother too!
My daughter is 4 and the same way. She loves pink and purple. She loves fairies and plants. And shes very girly. She likes ballet and art. Shes also very sweet, calm, and poised for her age. She did not get this from me at all. Shes also dynamic, and is obsessed with being a doctor when she grows up right now. Its funny, I grew up as a tough girl from Detroit, Michigan. I use to love pink as a girl and girlie things but gave it up for basketball and martial arts because my dad thought it would protect me. Now, my 4 year old daughter has me, at age 28, just now exploring my feminine side.
@@a.d.w8385 What a beautiful experience! It leaves me realizing that we can only add to but not change who we inherently are from the start. It doesnt make sense to change what we feel connected to, because life will find a way to that eventually 🌈
I hate it when a guy is called gay because he likes some feminine things. I'm straight. But I got called gay from some guy on the bus for singing along to a Selena Gomez song. How is like women singers or Action shows with female leads gay? I like Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus and She-Ra (1980s) Monster High, Wonder Woman. But I also like Power Rangers Godzilla and blood soaked horror. So, I get annoyed sometimes.
That was his own insecurity that made him call you gay. That's stupid to think sexual orientation has anything to do with music taste, or taste at all. And he knew it very well, just had some issues himself and did what he did. No normal person would call others any names(they consider insulting) in any case. When someone does, it's their problem :)
Dude you're completely normal trust me, music taste, fashion sense doesn't make you less of a man, my father is considered a tough guy and all of his favorite singers are women, no one shames him for it because it's normal, So it's just a matter of taste, I respect you for being who you really are be proud about it ❤️❤️
Everyone has BOTH masculine and feminine traits. It has nothing to do with your sexuality and doesn’t make you any less straight. (No matter what society says) ignore people and do what you want
I felt this Trop’s effects are school. Last night, all my friends were talking about there first impressions of each other. I am very girly and never go to school without heals and a matching outfit. All my friends said “well after seeing walking down the halls in your outfits, I thought you were some shallow snake.” When you’re 16 years old, hearing that most people might not like you before even saying two words to you kind of hurts...
Ouch I’m sorry to hear that. I usually don’t wear heels simply because my old school had a lot of stairs but one day I wore some wedges and a pencil skirt for a come as you are picture day. Some bitchy girls walked by and started commenting on how overdressed I was. And even with some old friends they thought I would be a mean popular girl based on the way I dressed. Thank god I made friends who don’t see all femininity as evil
Yep. My friend and I were dropping off the keys to her apartment. She had just moved out. But the problem was we couldn't get outside of the fence because we left the Keys in the apartment. She was worried that I couldn't jump a fence. I was wearing a skirt, cute flats and a lace blouse. I jumped the fence in a second and I had to guide her how to do it. She was amazed...well. I grew up climbing trees, buildings and being very active...I guess she thought that I only played with barbies all day as a child. I did both....When I started to dress girly I saw how people assumed many things about me...
I wasted so many years in elementary and middle school not wearing dresses and trying to create a tomboy image because I internalized the idea that being a girly-girl was bad. Frick that! Dresses are amazing! Girls' interests are valid and not on a tomboy/girly-girl binary!!!
I'm so happy to see that being feminine is becoming less taboo. I actually just finished watching gossip girl . I love that Blair Waldorf is girly while also being ambitious and smart. She pursues love and a career. We don't have to be one dimensional people.
@Mo'mina Makin I feel that because being see as feminine can have a negative connotation (as seen in the video) people can be anti feminine. When people become anti feminine they shame others for enjoying feminine activities calling others shallow, high maintenance, conceited, stuck up and also bitches. Also being feminine people automatically underestimates your intelligence. Women feel that they have to be unfeminine in ordered to be taken seriously. You see this happen mostly in the work place or in school. In most movies a traditionally feminine character are most likely seen as a bitch or a bad spouse. I think this makes (women especially) feel like they can not embrace feminine traits. I also want to point out that being submissive, not taking charge or being dependent doesn't necessarily equate to being feminine. But do you see how this is a conclusion most people came to about a feminine woman? I do think that women are shamed no matter what for example like you stated women who are seen as bitches for speaking up or being assertive. I understand your point when it comes to the negative ideas associated with being a non feminine women.I think its important that as women we are able to embrace all parts of ourselves without being made to feel like something is wrong with us.
@Mo'mina Makin I'm sorry I thought your question was how is being feminine taboo. As far as your thoughts on women being raised to sumit to men intrest. I don't feel like that is exclusive to femininity. Women also play the role of "not being like other girls" to be desirable to men. I find that mostly younger women are acting this way so I don't know if most women are being raised to met men needs in the traditional way anymore. I do think women try and do things that they think men like but like I stated that can be in an multitude of ways.
@Mo'mina Makin I feel like you're making my point that being feminine can be seen as weak and agreeable and I don't think that this is what being feminine is about.
@Mo'mina Makin I completely agree with this. I hope this is the direction that we are headed in as a society. I see more and more people calling gender roles out. I do think the more we let people do what feels right for them the better we will be as a collective.
I feel that, as a society, we're constantly reminded that having feminine interests is less than. That "masculine" interests are the neutral and fun while feminine interests, like shopping or make-up or teen romance novels, are inferior and shallow. It's because of this that I sometimes don't understand if my interests have actually risen due to my personality or if I've simply adopted them to distance myself from the "inferior girly girl"
Well if that’s all you care about of course it’s inferior. I never heard of make up actually doing something to improve our world. These are feminine characteristics that used to be also masculine a few centuries ago, but if that’s all your range of interests, I think you should try to expand a bit lol. It’s one thing to appreciate taking care of yourself and another thing to be interested only in that. Big difference. Same with men that are obsessed with going to gym and getting ripped and that’s all they care about. That’s not a very interesting human being.
well the whole being materialistic thought: um not all of us girly girls only like designer or expensive dates, places, etc. we can enjoy simple and free things as well. not all of us are rich.
Eva Mishchenko Hobbies can be actually useful, make you a better person and yes, by extension make you make the world better by being educated and knowledgeable in that department, therefore doing better. Such hobbies could be: psychology, sociology, science, neuroscience, environmental issues, food, human nature, philosophy, literature, art, etc. Hobbies can make you a better person, and by extension you make make the world better. Because you do better. I don’t think you wearing a pink lipstick or a violet scarf matters to anyone else but you. But you, by making better , more knowledgeable decisions can lead by example and influence other people to do the same. So yeah, hobbies can have depth. The “girly” things are superficial because that’s their nature. You can have superficial interests and that’s human, we all do. But don’t pretend they’re anything more than that.
"it costs money to be girly". That s essential. A lot of us are not more "well taken care of" cause we cannot afford being too much feminine in the manner we would like. It takes time and money. Being feminine, even as a man (who dresses well and have proper manners and is polished) is expensive. Definitely not for everybody.
Yep. We have a saying in Mexico. There's no such thing as an ugly girl, just a poor girl. I went back to school and can't afford nicer things to pampered me...I saw the difference...
@@lindavel43 we say the same in Brazil! But I think that it is possible to be girly and do the best with what we can afford, for example, even if we do not have many clothes we can have a few that are beautiful for us. And it is easy to find gratuit lessons of how to be more polished in internet.
y'all got me crying my eyes out alone in my room. i've hated the color pink since i was six years old and i'm only just now undoing all the internalized misogyny that's been a part of me my whole life. i've kept myself from enjoying so many things because i didn't want to be seen as shallow or stupid or weak. i judged other girls for their clothes and interests and looked down on them like they were less than me, when they're just as much a person as me, with thoughts and feelings and dreams and everything. i've blocked myself off from forming friendships with girly girls, when in reality they are some of the smartest, kindest, most complex people you will ever meet. and i really do love the color pink.
it’s great that you’ve been able to embrace and accept this part of yourself ! there is nothing wrong with being girly and i’m rlly glad you’ve realized that :))
IKR I’m not completely a girly girl (best of both worlds right?) but I’m not shallow so seeing them being portrayed as such is pretty sad and upsetting
We shame the girly girl but the "tomboy" is still.. pretty feminine. Butch women and masc women are also shamed. Womanhood is very much damned if you do, damned if you don't. Which is why it's so important to just be whoever you're comfortable being.
Yup. Same with hobbies. If you like stuff that’s predominantly enjoyed by men, you’re a ‘pick me’ who’s desperate for male attention. But if you’re into stuff like makeup and fashion you’re shallow.
This makes me think of Taylor Swift's quote, "I want to wear pink and tell you how I feel about politics." Femininity doesn't signify shallowness or passivity. There is such thing as being 'girly' and feminine while also having opinions and aspirations. That's why Elle Woods is probs my favourite example of this :)
Seeing Legally Blonde for the first time after surviving merciless bullying for my femininity was so affirming especially when my friends commented how much I had in common with Elle (minus being white and blonde) and how awesome it was. 😊
If a woman feels confident, beautiful and powerful wearing a pink dress, heels, makeup and with her hair and nails done then that's perfectly fine. As long as a woman or any person is stepping out of their front door feeling confident and powerful, being their truest and most authentic self and is presenting the best version of themselves into the world then we should celebrate that not bash it. If a woman's truest and most authentic self is having her hair and nails done and looking nice, wearing a gorgeous flowy dress, high heels and a face full of makeup then that's amazing because she is stepping out and showing the world that she is comfortable in her own skin and her own identity and she is presenting the best version of herself into the world. none of those things take away from her skills, her intelligence or anything that she achieves in her life or in her career. thank you for coming to my TED talk.
@@peace.love.laughter1014 thats not the point i was making. The point i was making is that if a woman enjoys typically feminine and girly things like wearing dresses and heels and makeup and getting her hair and nails done and likes to watch soppy rom coms and like cute animals and pink stuff and those things make her happy in life and she finds enjoyment from them why should we bash her for it. She can still be intelligent and eloquent and have a skilled job and stuff. Those things that she enjoys dont take away from her intellect or her skills or achievements. What should be celebrated is people living their truths and being their truest and most authentic selves and presneting the best version of themselves into the world. And if a womans best version of herself is a pretty pink dress and fabulous hair then that's awesome and should be respected. I like cute things and i like pink and i cry at sad films. Does that make me one type of person? No. I have layers to me. Complexities.
@@peace.love.laughter1014 I am familiar with the real story of Marilyn Monroe . and i get what you mean into slipping into societal boxes and stuff but like what if a woman genuinely likes those things for what they are and not just as a part of societal brainwashing. i mean the cosmetics industry is worth billions and that basically started from women trying to satisfy husbands by looking good by wearing makeup and living up to the societal standards of beauty and femininity at the time. Now it is a lucrative billion dollar industry. And i like when i surprise people when they find out some of the stuff I like. it add an element of mystery to me. looking at me on the surface people wouldn't expect 3 of my fave musicians that i listen to are Hozier, Tom Odell and James Bay. and people don;t expect me to like a lot of the older music that my parents like. People associate girly girls with loving boy bands but i hate boy bands. and also i'm not even straight so another subversion. you can both fit in with and subvert a stereotype at the same time.
I’m an extremely girly girl: I love fashion, shopping, the color pink, jewelry and makeup. However, I have a 3.8 GPA and has been recently accepted into Salisbury University where I’m studying to be an English teacher. Girly girls can have brains too 👩🏾🏫💯🧠
When i was young, i loved the colour pink so much that my room was painted pink and my sheets were pink with flowers and i was the girliest girl out there. When i hit puberty, i started to hate pink because i thought it was weak and actively avoided wearing the colour at all. I went thru that im not like other girls edgy tumblr phase. I’m so glad i have grown since then and realize that society made me hate those things
omg same, I didn't go through the whole edgy tumblr phase (did have it in mind tho) but I pretended to hate pink, even painted my room blue so I could fit in, I now try to mix both my femininity side with my masculine side (tho i'm more feminine than masculine) instead of trying to be trendy or fit in with everybody
Me too!! I used to wear lots of black because I thought it was tougher, now I wear black with girly things and I painted my room pink just as it was when I was a kid (minus the childish bear wallpaper, that would be too much 😂)
Arya: You never would have survived what I had. Sansa: Nor would you. That second line is what I think should have been written in order to pay homage to the different strengths of the tomboy and the girly-girl. They both have strengths.
@@iguardproperties4781 She would've been killed right away (if not worse) coz Arya isn't adaptable the same way that Sansa is. Same with Sansa with Arya's situations. They're both survivors of different kinds of exploitations and horrors.
I remember in the Harry Potter books I got so upset when Molly, Ginny and Hermionie didn’t like Fleur bc she was too “girly”. They acted as if they were so different, when in reality Fleur was just like them smart, brave, caring she was just conventionally pretty
The hilarity of the aversion to the colour pink is that a few centuries ago pink was considered A MANLY colour because it was STRONG and ROBUST. While Blue was considered the girly colour because it was WEAK and SOFT. Just goes to show it's all about perspective
You know how it all changed? Hitler used PINK triangles to mark homosexuals in concentration camps, and suddenly men wanted nothing to do with pink, and since homosexuals are seen as feminine, pink was quickly transferred to the ladies.
@@heywhat6676 I knew Hitler used pink triangles but I didn't know it was in a direct correlation to people becoming averse to pink. That just makes it all so much worse.
@Ooohbopbopboppadoohwah I am for it 100% I've always noticed how guys doing ANYTHING that is considered slightly feminine gets called gay, first of all, its not insult, and second of all, since when did getting a manicure magically change what you're attracted to? And how girls who refuse to conform to femininity are immediately called lesbians, and in some cases even trans men yet to come out., because femininity determines literally everything, right? Because what sane woman would refuse to conform to the rigid expectations of society?
The only exception that comes to mind where girly girls can also be strong: Sailor Moon and other magical girl anime think about it, anime has given girly girls a unique kind of strength that you dont typically find in western media and they, in fact, embrace it.
Yes and especially Studio Ghibli movies! A lot of protagonists in their movies are feminine women/girls. I prefer to watch anime and old movies because I can find a lot of feminine characters whom I can relate to.
Satoshi Kon i think only had feminine main characters. Paprika, Perfect Blue, Millenium Actress, and Tokyo Godfathers, though in that one the feminine character is trans and is mocked for being feminine. The director himself said he admired the girls he went to school with and preferred to be friends with them because they were so much more complicated than the boys.
Ditto, I like being out and about in nature and playing certain sports, but I'm also partial to the occasional manicure or spa date, and enjoy getting dressed up for certain events! 💅⚽
When I was a teen, I used to distance myself from being a girly girl and wanted to be "not like other girls". Hence, I forced myself to not do things that stereotypical girly girls do. Like love romances, or boy bands, or the colour pink. As subconsciously, my inner misogyny told me that these things are considered weak. But now, I embrace my femininity and true self and never felt stronger.
Speaking of feminine things being considered weak, I find it ironic that ‘masculine’ fiction like Fast and Furious and Star Wars are praised as masterpieces, yet media enjoyed by teen girls like Twilight, boy bands, and Titanic are shunned and put down for being silly.
*Edit: Didn’t know about her wildly racist and antisemitic remarks before posting this. Speaking out about one important topic now does not atone for that.* Paris Hilton overcoming her shallow public persona and becoming an activist while still keeping her girly girl brand image intact is the real life version of this development
I have been fat-shamed my whole life and as an adolescent and a teenager I related very very strongly to the "I'm not girly yuck" trope. I would wear boy clothes, and play sports and video games and hang around with guys bitching about "other girls". Only when I actually started living away from home and found a sisterhood in my "girly girl" roommates who taught me everything from grooming, processing complex emotions, being independent that I realised how wrong I was. Everyone is flawed and has their own strengths. This is a brilliant video
This hit personally. Thanks the Take! I’ve always felt like I had to hide my girly-ness because I am a black woman. It often made people think I was meek and trying to assimilate. I genuinely enjoy these aspects of femininity. There’s no one way to express our femininity. It is simply displaying our admiration for beauty, softness and fulfillment. These are attributes anyone can have. This was so empowering!
A great example of breaking the trope of a girly girl not being competent is Brooklyn 99. The episode where rosa encourages amy to go wedding dress shopping, and amy takes down a perp wearing Dress. I don't think any other show does it this good
Really? -Cher "What's wrong? Is Josh giving you crap because he's going through his idealistic phase?" - Dionne Proof that Cher is aware of her short comings and Dionne sees the world for what it is rather than what it is supposed to be.
Had to pause the video at the "Boys like blue, girls like pink" bit, because it really smacked me in the face when you used the Power Rangers as the image example. When I was growing up, my mother despaired that I loved the Power Rangers, and even more so when my favourite character was Billy the Blue Ranger. She told me I couldn't be the blue ranger because I was a girl and the blue ranger was only for boys and that I *had* to be the pink ranger. The one compromise we had was that I could be the yellow ranger, because I couldn't identify with Kimberly as a character and Trini was "close enough". Still amazes me to this day that that was something important enough for my mum to argue with me on.
The fact that literally colors have gender attached to them, and that is enough for parents to literally argue with you about. I was watching one of those baby shows with my stepmom and little brother. A mom was pushing her baby on a swing while singing lullaby verses. I pointed out that swing was meant for much bigger kids and was like 'that's dangerous.' And she agreed. Then the camera panned out and we saw the 'baby swing' was actually purple. And she was literally like "he should stay on the big swing because he can't be a boy on the purple swing. That's for girls." I'm like 'that's a literal toddler. Who gives a hell? Is he going to start liking boys and playing dress up (which is normal and 100% alright) because he sat on a purple seat?
@@Des_. agreed! he could end up however he ends up anyway but yea you dont want kids being misgendered. it's be insulting like if a woman is called a man (like some women have deeper voices, are tall, etc)
@@melodyclark1944 many of my friends growing up, some girly, some tomboy, loved blue. ive always been a pink girl. some loved purple that's my 2nd fave
I love being girly girl. I love my perfume collection, my makeup collection and I will go on a jewelry haul after this. When I have the money, i will collect luxury handbags. I love being a girly girl. I think my life is boring without girliness.
I am a girly girl except I dont buy many of these things because I spend most of my money on books and rent and dont have any for expensive "girly girl" things
I never thought of Aang as feminine because a.) the character is 12 and isn’t expected to be masculine yet, and b.) he’s a highly intelligent and idealistic leader, which is the kind of maturity I associated with the men in my life growing up.
Aang was not feminine. He was just easy going and playful. They didn't present him as the stereotypical "Angry Male Idiot" who was always aggressive, angry, and impulsive towards others and overly macho like Zuko or the goofball " Class Clown Dude" who's entire personality is based on how funny they are and how easy they can make others laugh while also thirsting for female attention like Sokka or Bolin. Aang didn't fit those male stereotypes but that did not make him feminine. Aang was similar to Uncle Iroh being that they were both passive by nature until they had to physically protect themselves and others and they were both highly intelligent and showed much wisdom. Both were easy going, relatively gentle, and chose a more civil rational approach to situations if they saw it was a better way. However, you wouldn't go around saying Uncle Iroh was a feminine man. In the same way Aang doesn't fit the stereotype of being the aggressive angry idiot or the dumbass flirty goofball that doesn't mean he was feminine.
Lydia Bennet wasn’t looked down on for being “girly”. Elizabeth’s older sister Jane was girly, gentle and sweet and she was praised and admired. Lydia was judged because she was vulgar, crass and empty headed and she didn’t care about her family’s reputation. For all the comments below; I never said she was an idiot and I fully agree that Wickham preyed on her. I’m just making the point that she was never faulted for being girly, I don’t think that was one of her traits really.
The criticism she gets from Lizzie (well technically Jane Austen) is pretty harsh too I mean I know I for one was a complete idiot when I was 15!! I don’t think there’s many people who could look back on themselves at that age and not be at least a little embarrassed.
I was thinking that too. Lydia's fault isn't her girliness, it's her shallowness (that has nothing to do with being girly) that is being mocked. Now, maybe we could see her under a different light (she was 15 after all) and even give more depth to her character, but I agree that her girliness has nothing to do with it.
Yep she is definitely representate as this but as the above person said she is victimised by a child predator, and we know that Wickham doesn’t love her and she doesn’t fully love him so they’ll probably have rather sad lives together
I hate how the media only portrays that guys want the "I'm not like other girls" type.All the popular girls that wear makeup and are actually nice are just seen as Stuck-Up and mean.Any girl can wear makeup and like food.Any girl can play video games.I hate how they make you wanna choose.
As someone who spent their middle school years trying so hard to "not be like other girls" and pretending to not like girly things to feel superior this video was very healing to me.
I hate the whole thing of girls being put down for being "girly". Like, I sometimes wear dresses and flowery clothes and other times I wear jeans and flannel shirts. It doesn't have to be one or the other. And it also doesn't have to be that one is somehow inferior to the other. There's nothing wrong with girls wanting to wear pink and dresses and go shopping and do all those other "girly" things. And there's also nothing wrong with girls wanting to wear jeans and t shirts and play in the mud and do sports (I don't do sports, my CFS would kick my ass if I did...) or be a slob. Like, I hate makeup (for me, there's nothing wrong with people wearing makeup) and that doesn't make me less of a girl. People have it in their heads that you can't enjoy the "girly" things in life and still be tough. They also have it in their heads that there's something wrong with girls not wanting to be these strong badass women. Or that there's something wrong with girls wanting marriage and kids and a happy life with someone they love. Being a strong woman means doing what you feel comfortable with, what *you* believe in and following your dreams. Not going around slapping guys who you deem assholes or defending every person you think needs it, or fighting wars or doing a "mans" job to prove a woman can do it. It just means doing what it is you want to do with your life, and if that's get married and have kids, and be a girly girl, then so fucking be it, be who you want.
Okay yes this right here!!! You’re so right-like why we can’t we just be both?? For example Malina Weissman who plays Violet in “A series of unfortunate events” is a girly girl who is smart and badass whilst wearing pink at the same time🥰! Honestly one of the best written girly girl characters in our generation. She represents a perfect balance between what it is like to be a girl in this society.
Never a girly girl but I adore and admire my little sister who is. Her passion for fashion as a kid gave her a real drive to find her own style especially as a mixed race girl.
I have been waiting for this trope since forever ❤️ I used to be that ‘girly girl’ who was shamed and underestimated for just being herself. I am a 24 year old working woman now and I still possess stereotypically ‘feminine traits’ and it has nothing to do with my potential or intellect and it’s not the only thing that defines me as an individual. The world would be a better place if the society stops shaming people (more specifically women) for the way they are. Girly girl, Tom boy, weird girl, femme fatale, book worm, etc - lets just love, accept and celebrate each other 🙌🏼
my classmates lowkey made fun of me cuz im too " girly ", i always wore dresses, i use makeup, i like pink but it's just my style.. i just wanna be myself.
This remember me a one of my friends who is super girly and very sweet ! But the people like make fun on her and for worst she is a lesbian ( im saying for worst because pleople think lesbians girls are only masculine ) Im mad with people like make fun in girly girls :'( , honey you are super strong so i hope this type of coments don't afect you , this is from a tomboy girl who support girly girls and all woman 💅 ( sorry for the bad english :'( , its not my first language )
Im a girly girl too who loves pink and all that , and it’s just sad that the clichees of us are that we aren’t fun and too sensitive and stuff . Don’t let yourself down and just be who you are cuz that’s how you are perfect
I went to a college that absolutely despised girly-girls. You have no idea the amount of hostility my friends and I got whenever we discussed makeup: eye rolls, snickers, glares. We weren’t even judging anyone who didn’t like that stuff or disrespecting their choices; we just genuinely liked playing around with new products. It made us happy. I found it ironic that people deemed us shallow and stupid when we were actually far less judgmental than them and tried hard not to make assumptions about others before getting to know them. It especially sickened me that the people who hated on (and occasionally bullied us because we were feminine and thus more inclined to be passive) were other women. Guys usually left us alone.
I'm a guy who likes to wear short shorts, beaded necklaces, bright colors (including a nice salmon pink that complements my complexion-no Pepto Bismol), long curly hair (I treat with products aimed at black women because they're the best products ever), and who refuses to walk out the door without at least three accessories. I'm not uber femme, but I am definitely not butch. And when someone calls me she or her or girl and apologizes, I tell them not to. I'm also pretty intellectual (probably the one trait I'm mostly known for), introverted, poetic, and deeply spiritual. These false dichotomies and roles are such nonsense. This video, especially when it was defending Marilyn Monroe's character in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (a weird, no sequitur of a title!), made me a bit emotional and happy. Thank you for your amazing content!
Honestly, these videos inspire me so much. Predominantly described as a 'tomboy', I find a little bit of each trope relatable to me. I think that explains how complex, sophisticated and versatile we are as women.
As a girly girl I can relate to all of this I feel like I've always been looked down upon by the people around me for liking girly stuff also the things I care about are always looked at as not important like makeup, clothes, hair I've been judged for caring about those things and I've felt weird for liking these things I'm so happy people are talking about this and the misogyny of it all
Being a tom-boy growing up gave me such a false sense of power. I felt like I had to trade femininity for respect. When I was the girl playing in the mud and scoffing a other girls it gave me a small protection blanket, like if I sneer at them then I'll be left alone, I wont be dismissed or belittled because I'm a big strong boy too, I'm smart enough to dismiss girlyness I'm "not like other girls". Then when I grew up a bit it had been so ingrained in me that femininity was bad that I felt like my entire identity was being challenged when- *gasp* I actually like dresses? and nail polish?? I think its harmful to shame and dismiss any performance of identity period.
Loved this, I loved how you touched on the fact that society views girly girl personalities and femininity as not being synonymous with women of color, black women in particular. Can you do the Middle Child Trope next?
All these trope videos only strengthen my love and appreciation for Legally Blonde. Elle Woods showed that women can be ambitious, independent, and feminine and still lead a successful and happy life. Internalized misogyny teaches us women to hate all things pink and girly because our society values masculinity as the standard and femininity as the exception, as if liking those things makes us less human and have less worth. And it promotes toxic masculinity by demonizing any men who also express interest in stereotypical feminine hobbies and activities, like liking fashion and not liking sports. But there’s nothing wrong with liking things that are feminine or masculine, no matter your gender. People should be able to express their femininity or masculinity without worrying about how they would be perceived by their peers or loved ones.
and remember that one female character in the movie, Enid, that was a lesbian feminist and dressed more "tomboyish" ? she despised Elle because she was traditionally feminine and assumed she was bitchy and rude when in reality Elle tried so hard to be nice to her and make friends
There was also something so powerful about Elle and Vivian becoming friends, and both just rejecting Warner. I mean they both had misconceptions about each other, which they overcame and realised those misconceptions had basically bene created by this ass of a man.
I mean, Lydia is given a much fairer discourse in the book. She's motivated partly by her mother's playing favourites with her children based on marriage prospects, partly by sibling rivalry, partly by thirst for romance and adventure, and partly by being strongly interested in Wickham even before Lizzy. She's explicitly attracted to soldiers because their wives get to go with them to interesting places and get to move in varied social circles. She's jealous of her sisters not only getting interest from men, but also getting to travel and getting parental attention and approval. Marrying Wickham means marrying before her sisters, getting to be her mother's favourite again, getting to travel and to be seen as an adult. She's deemed silly and unthinking, but she's not unsympathetic and her motivations are pretty obviously spelled out throughout. She's just a teenager who makes a bad choice and never has a chance to grow from it or redeem herself because of the society around her, a consistent criticism of society in Jane Austin's books. Lydia is not once framed as the villain, she's just a "foolish girl" whose naive adolescent arrogance made her a prime victim for a known predator. Darcy's more sensible and reserved sister very nearly did the exact same thing.
And Jane is another "girly girl" who is explicitly very gentle, kind, beautiful, etc, and she still ends up with a great guy because she doesn't settle for marrying a Wickham. Lizzie isn't even non-feminine - she just sees that her sister is putting herself in danger by going to Brighton (which was basically like the Regency Vegas) and being chaperoned by a very young newlywed couple. Her least feminine act is probably walking to Netherfield, but that's just because her main motivation there is protecting Jane, who she thinks is grievously ill. Lizzie is a mix of masculine and feminine traits, and even her biggest flaw (her judginess, or prejudice) is more associated with women than men.
Thanks for this take! Girls shouldn't be judged for wanting traditionally feminine goals. As Meg March puts it "Just because my dreams are different from yours doesn't mean they're unimportant!" 😍👏🏾
Traditionally feminine goals suck, though, that's why they were drilled into our brains by men. Being a housewive is a good recipe for becoming impoverished or being stuck in an unhappy marriage. So, yes, I judge people for having goals that are objectively stupid choices.
@@red_calla_lily that isn't your decision to make. If I want to have multiple children, be a wife, take care of my home, and pick up fun, new hobbies during the day while my husband *chooses* to take care of finances, then why not. This is not the end all be all for marriage. Yes, you should have your own money. Yes, you should be financially stable and responsible. Yes, you should have saved up money for if things don't work out. That is common sense. And many women feel mentally and physically drained from overworking themselves in this day and age. This requires masculine energy which naturally feminine women/ girly girls are not naturally attuned to, it can only hurt them in the long run. Stupid is a childish word. So is the term 'It sucks'. This just means you lack the ability to see into mind of someone other than yourself. Hard work, grinding, and working until you drop in this modern would isn't a much better alternative.
Exoticism in sexual tropes is a thing... just try and be a bit more specific. Amazonian beauty? Orientalism? The Noble Savage? All of these suck by the way they are just the accepted current names for a set of really reductive, sexist and racist character tropes.
@@Firegen1 I'm latina but because for many years Latinas were used as the "ethnic girl" and they put them as any other than white or black (indigenous, middle eastern, Indian...) I decided to leave it open, also, sometimes they put different archetypes of a trope in one video
I used to discourage my daughters to be girlie, but read a good book about respecting girls for what they like and not negate it. It changed how I raised them and I think they were much happier. They have diverse likes, and that's great.
I was very much a stereotypical 'tomboy' growing up and even had my own 'i hate anything pink and girly' phase as a child but the older I've gotten and the more my understanding of feminism has shaped me and my relationship with the world around me, the more 'girly' I've become (even if the pants and no make up have stayed). I always joke that I was an Arya who became a Sansa. And one of the main reasons I stopped watching GoT was precisely because it seemed like the creators got a kick out of punishing Sansa for being feminine. And even worse, that the viewers encouraged that. When you look at which female characters the audience was always a bigger fan of, you can see how it was pretty much always the ones who presented or acted in a more 'masculine' way (like Brienne or Arya) or were inserted into roles often belonged to men (like Dany with her 'heroic', Dragon-filled adventures). They only started appreciating Sansa once she started moving into more stereotypically 'masculine' territory. Her clothes became darker and she was pretty much stripped of everything that made her character so uniquely interesting in the first place, particularly her hugely empathetic heart and aversion to violence. And then suddenly the girl who, in the books, doesn't even feel joy watching her number one tormentor die in front of her, is suddenly being cheered on by the audience for taking sadistic pleasure in having a bunch of dogs maul someone in front of her. But hey.... girl power! /s Not to mention how often teenage girls are hated by audiences, especially in 'male centered' shows. Or even the trope of the wife who keeps the male lead from doing whatever he wants (no matter how morally wrong and/or dangerous to the family that may be) and then gets a sh*t ton of hate by the audience because shes getting on the way of the manly man's adventures which are, of course, the only thing we should care about. As a former 'not like other girls' kid, few things annoy me more today than those characters. Yes, rejecting traditional gender norms can be very empowering and should absolutely be encouraged, but not at the expense os those who, either by choice or by force, adhere to those stereotypes in their own lives. The whole point of feminism is to not shame women for who they are and allow them to express their womanhood in whatever way they see fit and feel comfortable with. It's sad how we seem to have simply gone from one extreme to the other throughout the years.
I always felt for Sansa because I’ve grown up with Disney princesses and the idea of marrying a prince and all that but eventually grew sorta out of it. And some wouldn’t understand why I like her character as she “doesn’t do anything” but she was by far the most realistic as she was raised to expect what she wanted but was shocked of learning that not everything is like a song and was a hostage most of her life. It felt rewarding to see her as queen in the north.
Yes seeing these not like other girl characters always fill me with a deep seated rage and resentment. Especially because it influenced how I used to see femininity and how people treated me once I started embracing my girliness
as a wise twitter user once wrote: Growing up is getting over your irrational hatred of color pink
Tell whoever wrote it, that they're the wisest person to ever exist
I'm a boi and my favorite color used to be pink (it's purple now)
I remember a girl at school who literally said "i feel the urge to punch every single girl who likes wearing pink right in their face" and I would look at her like she was a psycho
👀
👄
Sorry I'm still a blue person lmao.
but pink is nice
Nic it’s really not that deep, it’s fine if you don’t like pink but chill lmaoo
I never had this hatred of the color pink. I’ve always loved it. 🎀
The worst part of this trope is when girly girls are shown as vapid and shallow, because it it then teaches young girls that being girly and feminine is bad and how there’s something shameful with being female...
And the girl who is supposed to be the counterpart is still conventionally attractive and feminine enough to "get the guy", like the sin is to care too much or way too little to the point of not looking like the "cool girl".
So the world wants to make everything into dirty/mud and mean/nasty that’s wrong and i won’t do it, also girls are girls if mr macho masculine acting men are sooooo like conservative why do they want to kill of the girl stereotype and make them “butches” it’s wrong and most don’t want to do that I’m tired of it the racism of feminism and being “girly” and happy/attractively pretty looking, enough is enough it’s not the 1950s it’s the 2020s, it’s time the world of masculine acting all “RAAAAH ME HATE HAPPY/PRETTY BECAUSE IM ANGRY/UGLY AND THEY SHOULD BE UNHAPPY LIKE ME” starts to behave themselves and live and let be because it’s called misbehaving i won’t tolerate it
I felt the same way. I would get shamed for being girly but I always thought it was unfair that people in general would praise transexuals males for being girly as well.
Alexis Co. wait they would actually do that...? Wow never heard that one before the late 2010s were truly the worst time in history for anything in general all because of those people🙄
right? It's inherently misogynistic because there is not one correct way to be a woman
I love that Elle Woods never abandons her femininity even while going for what was considered a masculine job. She's surrounded by more masculine women who occasionally share their hatred for her because of her girliness and by men, especially he professor who sees her as nothing but as an object he can use to win a case easily. Elle fights through it all and is a self run successful girly girl.
Exactly. I feel lik that movie was so ahead of its time in reclaiming femininity. I love how Elle’s “girly ness” isn’t a hindrance to her succeeding in her dream job, but is actually a plus. Her knowledge of hair care and fashion helped her solve a case no one else could.
Exactly! Even tho she stopped wearing pink and wore much more black and dark colours she realised in the end that she didn’t need to change herself to be considered “smart”. She can be both as it should be
I always loved Elle for this reason even as a "goth" girly girl.
I also like how Elle Woods even admitted Vivian looked nice, even when Vivian was being catty to her. I love how she never sold her friend out for her ex-boyfriend's attention. Of course it had other problems with gay stereotypes, but it was overall a nice movie and a breath of fresh air. It was way ahead of its times.
I love it! The movie is so ahead of it's time when it comes to femininity. liking "girly" things doesn't make you weak, and a lot of people need to learn that.
I can’t believe I used to pretend that I didn’t like shopping or the color pink because of societies hatred of women who do those things.
HSHSHHHH sameeee it was sooo infuriating
Same
That's weird because I lived the opposite of your life , I tried to like flowers, fairies, doing everything to be pretty and shopping so I could have friends. Boys /girls hated me for being "tomboyish". Well, hope you are doing well and now loving yourself for what you are, no matter what people think about it 😎
Same, i was pretending to be a tomboy to be liked in school because girliness was so mocked... i couldn't wear anything pink or i would became a punching bag.
It took me good 4 years to regain by femininity, right now i can't imagine not wearing pink.
Thats why Loving pink is selfcare for me 😌💕
"Bella is reorganizing her life around a guy who wants to kill her, but at least she doesn't care about prom." OMG I'm crying, this is the best thing I heard all week
Right!!! It never crossed my mind while watching the movies but it's so eye opening
I still can’t believe people like that movie
She's not like other girls
@@angylouv shes quirky
@@jiwuwuw oh you're right, this girly brain didn't let me see that much depth
It's funny to me that Bella in Twilight is praised for being "different" and "not like other girls", but any girl who liked Twilight during its peak was mocked for being "like other girls" and "basic".
yeah that's very ironic
Lol yeah
people who twilight should be mocked 😂
But I get what you mean
@@kalki3060 it’s target audience was 13 year old girls who were still trying to figure out what was romantic love before they had the chance to truly experience it. why would you mock them for it?
@@marif2993 what I mean is the movie's really bad,I liked twilight when I first saw it.(I was 12 or 13 then!)
But now I realise how toxic it is.
We all have bad taste in our childhood. But I hope no one who is considered an adult thinks it's non toxic.
I think the idea of feminine women liking diamonds and jewelry is really interesting, considering that historically, women owned jewelry because they legally couldn't open bank accounts independently. Jewelry and diamonds were once the only way women could have guaranteed access to their own wealth.
really? that's interesting!
H*** to the yeah. Plus you want to have something to pawn off in case your in financial straits.
Mind blown
People love to insult "gold diggers" as if they're something wrong with women liking nice things.
@@melodyclark1944 i knoow rightt
What I don't like when writers have girly characters stop being feminine as part of their character development. It's as if they are saying being girly is a bad thing and being into more masculine things or wearing boyish clothes makes you better. I know films use clothes as a way to show characters personalities, but why is always girly characters that need to change themselves
What I liked about legally blonde is that they didn't change the way Elle dressed to show that she has become smarter
Precisely, that's always been a pet Peeve of mine, as if it's somehow "wrong" to be Girly. In reality, you like what you like, and you shouldn't be judged or ridiculed simply for having traditionally feminine or masculine hobbies. 💄💅⚽ 🎮
Exactly! I have seen in movies and tv where they have a character wear less make up or wear jeans instead of short skirts to show that they have become better people or are less insecure or less desperate for attention. Sorry what
If it was a masculine character that gradually turned girly, they would view it as a bad thing or that the character was trying to fit in. I'm saying this from my own experience watching teen stuff
@@pepperonipizza2718 Totally, it makes ZERO sense, it's sending a problematic message to impressionable young girls out there, who may take this to heart. 😔
Exactly. We need more films like legally blonde that support women and girls regardless of what they wear
This is why "Legally Blonde" is so relevant to this day.
legally blonde has been fueling my unapologetically woman oriented feminism since I was 7. women can do anything men can yes, but more importantly women can do anything we set our mind to. arbitrary limitations to our capacities centered around men's capacities are irrelevant. I will never ever renounce my traditionally feminine presentation in order to be and taken seriously, I will be heard and respected as an intelligent and profound human being wearing a pink miniskirt as much as I would be wearing a navy power suit or so help me god
@@spoiltmilk6511 Honestly, same. I have a very feminine style and I'm not planning to give up on it because some dude is too ignorant and shallow to judge people by something other than his own prejudice.
Legally blonde was the movie that made me stop pretending to hate pink and just embracing it.
For me Its the movie that exemplifies feminism or girl Power done right on screen.
Not being shoe horned or taking it down to our throught.
It Just shows how a girl who loves make up and fashion can also be super smart, creer driven and intersted in finding romance.
Its the most perfect film that makes girls feel empowered
@savannah it’s one of my favorites and clueless is really good as well, I prefer the comedic timing in legally blonde it made laugh a lot.
I loved the character of Elle Woods she is sweet, feminine and smart but flawed which helped the character to not being a Mary Sue
Her character’s flaws I think is the reason why she went to Harvard but it’s great we saw how she latter loved the career pad she picked instead of fashion. It’s not like fashion wasn’t good but hey it’s nice that she ended up loving law school.
She found romance by being nice to another guy after she out Warner was an idiot.
It’s a great comedy which portrayed girl power the right way.
More recently I think I feel pretty it’s a great movie to make girls feel empowered, many criticized it because of the leading actress(Amy Schumer ) without giving it a chance but I think that movie gives a nice message to women.
Watch it and latter what you thought about it
Dang, as I get older, I realize that I used to pretend not to like girly things because I thought it meant I couldn't like other things like comic books. We need to teach girls that they can be more than just one thing.
yes! I grew up being shamed because I'm super girly, I tried to change when I was about 10/11 years old, but being "not like the other girls" is not for me, when I was 12 I met other girly girls and I finally accepted my hiper-femininity
I remember when I was little I pretended to hate nice dresses to my mom, even though I caught myself thinking several times that I didn't actually dislike wearing them. At this point I didn't have any female friends, I'd grown up with an older brother and the few friends I had were male, so I felt like I had to perform being a tomboy in order to fit in where I felt like I could. God, having female friends as a girl is so damn important and healthy.
I had that face, too. I was 5, but it only lasted like a week because I missed wearing bows and tutus, and I realized I couldn’t live without glitter and pink in my life.
Yes! I love all girly things, but I'm also a huge nerd, I love books, star wars, superhero movies, and I also love the great outdoors, math, dance and so much more. Just because I'm girly doesn't mean I don't like other things or even things that are considered masculine sometimes.
We need to teach all kids they can like what they like and it doesn’t mean they’re not smart. It’s what you know that makes you smart, not what you look like or what your hobbies and interests are.
Black women were especially shamed in our communities for being feminine and girly when I was growing up. "You think you cute huh?" was the common phrase for those of us who wanted to doll ourselves up and liked certain fashion styles deemed "white".
I wish there were more black girly girls in media. Why are always the tomboys or the fighters. Why can’t we be shy, or nerdy, or girly for once.
@@PrincessLioness Exactly! A recent and very new trope I've taken notice of is the "awkward black girl" trope, and it's like looking in a mirror, lol. So nice to see.
Totally agree and it’s something I’ve always hated well into adulthood. Black women can be many things and yet we get shamed for stepping outside of what the people around us consider “normal”.
I know this but it still hit different :/ I see a lot of Black reclaiming their femininity though which I love to see
Please check out karine alourde ‘s youtube chanel
Its a femininity chanel and its just amazing 💕
Best show to deal with sexism is Avatar: The Last Airbender. Just look at the Kyoshi warriors or Ty Lee. Ty Lee is sweet, pretty, cared about her looks, always wore pink, but she’s not shallow, she’s one of the best fighters. My favorite line is when sokka tells suki he treated her like a girl when he should’ve treated her like a warrior and she didn’t take it as a compliment, she told him she was both. That’s an insult and she made it clear she was proud of her gender
@KStar I didn’t see it as kid, it ended the year I was born but I’m so glad I saw it on Netflix I’m so obsessed with it
Ugh so beautiful
Avatar never misses ugh.
also to show conventional feminine qualities like being emotional and soft through both a female character, katara, and a masculine character, aang.
You know I love that show as much as the next person but these days I can't watch any video without an avatar reference in the comments.
I loathe when a Girly Girl is portrayed as a shallow, vapid airhead with nothing on her mind except for shopping and makeovers. Thankfully, this Trope is becoming more nuanced, with Elle Woods being a prime deconstruction of how a traditionally feminine character can be more than she initially appears. 💞 🛍️💄
I always felt bad for being a girly girl for this reason I question myself sometimes am I shallow and an airhead? Idk why but ik I'm not 😕
I was about to say that , that they portrayed this trope as in toxic femininity, always in competition, shallow, stupid and always judgements. I hated that. Because I’ve always felt like this trope. But I had trouble embracing because I thought it was a bad thing
@@phedisolatakgomo6964 Same that's exactly how I felt
Misrepresentation of the Girly Girl gave rise to the Not Like Other Girls Girl. You can’t change my mind
AMiRiTE? Very true. Very very true. I even had that mindset and to certain extend I think I still too
I hate how this trope shaped the notion that girls who enjoy shopping can’t be academic, I want to be a doctor however constantly see female medics being judged on their academic ability based on how stereotypically feminine they behave, honestly to quote the queen herself “I’m like totally into shopping” (also love how Blair warldorf defied this trope)
Aksangel _ I LOVE shopping and I’m a nurse
I'm surprised they didn't touch on Gossip Girl for this exact reason. Blair was a bad bitch and the girliest girl
Blair was the most *hardworking* character yet the most *"girly"* one
She was the complete opposite of an airhead (unlike Chuck in the first seasons lol) and she showed everyone that you can be into shopping/fashion/romantic movies, yet still be extremely smart and become a ppwerful business woman.
Blair obliterated this trope that's why she'll always be the queen
no blair loved shopping but she was also very studious as well
I was always praised in school for being smart. I knew how smart I was as a kid. But growing up, I was more interested in fashion and makeup and wearing earrings, but my parents told me to stop thinking about that because my only job was being a student and being well behaved. And I was. When I moved out in my twenties, I was able to do all those things I wanted, and it made me happy. But the intelligence never went away. See? You can be two things at the same time. I’m both in the smart and girly girl trope.
Good for you!
My parents do the same thing
Me too!!!! Omg I felt like I was reading my own life story. I ended up doing kinesiology but what I really wanted to apply for was fashion design.
i wanna be like you when i grow up 🥰🥰🥰
I had a science teacher tell me he hated to see me "waste my brain" when I got into the school of music at my first choice university. Isn't it terrible how we devalue everything that people think is more feminine, including the arts?
When I was a kid I was bullied by other girls for liking pink because that was too "girly" not "cool". I asked my sister if I was a girly girl or tomboy and she said, "neither." I think most girls aren't completely girly girls or tomboys. We're just human.
This needs more likes!!!
Absolutely. I loved everything stereotypically girly but most people wouldn't have known that because I dressed in more goth/punk styles and liked rock/metal music. But secretly I loved pop just as much.
@@katwebbxo I love pop, but get shamed for liking Taylor Swift for example.
Sorry that those pick me’s bully you but do you and don’t let anyone bring you down
So are the girly girls and tomboys. We are just something in between. We don't want lables. We are going to wear what we like in the moment. And we are going to do what our current mood is gonna say. Not something we are expected to do because of some label
This reminds me of the hate that "basic" girls get when they enjoy things such as Starbucks, Ugg boots, etc... like why can't they just live their lives and like what they like?
This! It is like everyone have to be a special snowflake to be a human being of value; you can't win.
Ppl hate girls enjoying themselves
Funny how we never call boys basic tho.
Yeah like I love Starbucks I don’t see the bad thing about it?
@@lockheart619 this is so true it actually hurts
Real feminism is a woman being what makes her happy, living her best life.
Anyone throwing shade because its pink, or butch, or sleeps around, or stay-at-home, or childless....needs to get their OWN life, and quit telling any woman how she is "supposed" to be living hers.
That's right. Nowadays some women has a problem with people who judge a woman over the fact that her job is masculine (and they are right to judge those people). But on the other hand they also judge some other woman over the fact they she is a housewife. Like damn! I don't think you are supposed to be fighting for women's rights if you'll end up taking them away yourself
"Real feminism is never criticizing woman for their life decisions." No. It isn't. Don't add "sleeps around" like its an ok thing for woman to do. you might as well add "it's her choice to do heroin".
@@ZachStachelski13 as long as they are not cheating who cares
@@natasha5553 because hook up culture is destroying men and women alike.
@@ZachStachelski13 okay but who cares? If men and women wanna indulge in hookup culture then that's on them... They should have a right to indulge in them... It's not illegal and it's not killing anybody
I remember when I was a girl I loved Kim Possible. She loved to shop, cheerlead, and stuffed animals. She also saved the world and could go toe to toe with anyone. I really hated the remake because it seemed to mock her girl side and took away her cheerleading. It made her seem like she was a cry baby and not the girl who did cry, get mad, happy, and loving. When you create a character that is girly and tough you create something that little girls feel important. And I know I’m not alone. Every time I talk about this show with different age groups and it is women, they lit up. They talk about how it made them feel confident.
Me too! She’s always been a good role model for me cause she was girly and badass, and a nicely fleshed character.
Totally spies is a big one to they loved shopping and saving the the world one was really smart, one was good at sports, I think the other one loved animals
Buffy is another one (pre toxic romantic relationships).
I loved her actitude while cheering, making it badass, as any one doing double flips should be seen.
I felt the same way about Blossom from the power puff girls and that's why she was my favourite, even though she's the least liked of the ppgs overrall
As a girly girl, especially a non wealthy black girly girl. I appreciate this video.
I’ve found my people. Lol. I am also a Black girly girl.
Twinsss💞
Oh my goodness my people are here😌
Kawaii/girly black girls in white dominated spaces are so damn important
pastelmermage yess because I get tired of being called “white girl” or “white wash” just for being girly 🥺
Weird. I’ve never heard “the boyey boy.” Just “boys will be boys”
this needs more likes
I’ve heard “manly man” before
What about the womanly-woman?😅
This is so underrated
I mean there is the "bRinG bACk mAnLY mEn" thing
i wanna wear pink and tell you what i feel about politics
-taylor swift
Ugh taylor is the ultimate Queen.... She's the perfect balance of feminity and masculinity 😍😍😍
wow. so deep.
F*cking awsome
I dont know what it is about Taylor but she is slightly off putting, but she does speak facts many times
@@lucyn3771 same. Whenever I see her I don't like it but it's not that she's doing anything it's something is off lol. I can't pinpoint it. It's not even anything bad, it's just off.
One of my favorite quotes from Avatar the last airbender:
“I treated you like a girl when I should have treated you like a warrior”
“I am a warrior, but I’m a girl too”
This show has a great portrayal of it’s female characters! While some of them are more of a tomboy (like Toph, or Mai), some are more girly (like Ty Lee, Suki, or Katara) but all of them are absolute badasses.
Even characters and side characters that are not fighters and could be easily seen as a girly girl cliche are never treated like a joke!
I commented something similar to this I feel like I accidentally copied you, but YES
AGREE
And even tomboy-ish gals like Toph might enjoy getting a makeover every once in a while! And it's not portrayed as a bad thing or like you have to be one or the other. (see Tales of Ba Sing Se)
And the girls build each other up! Like when Toph and Katara got made fun of for getting makeovers and Toph opened up about being insecure and not even knowing what she looks like; Katara didn’t belittle her or write it off like it didn’t matter. She just told her friend she thought she was genuinely “really pretty” and it made Toph smile
@@xXCherryKoolAidXx I loved that moment! Even as a little girl, I feel that Katara was honest and copassionate with Toph and other girls. I hate it when women tear each other down like in reality shows, etc.
As Taylor Swift said: “I wanna wear pink, and tell you how I feel about politics. I don’t think those things have to cancel each other out.”
Agreed. It's her being a musician that should disqualify her from speaking on politics.
@@ZachStachelski13 lame of you to say that 😒
@@Im_Julissathis did not age well lmfao
@@farnesetbh8487 but it did. Look at America now.
She clearly has no knowledge of the real world. She’s just a celebrity after all
@@Im_Julissa yeah that is soooooo political, she is white enough and not feminist and political enough to be loved and praised by the right, why do you think she was the person of the year with so many genocides and crisis happening in the world
A pattern that I've noticed is that a lot of kids reject 'girly girl' things until they're old enough to recognize the prejudice and appreciate the 'girly girl' for what it is.
(Also this vid made me think of that New Girl quote where Jess tells the lawyer...
"I brake for birds, I rock a lot of polka dots, I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not smart and tough and strong. Now I’m going to go pay my fine with checks that have baby farm animals on them, bitch!"
I just wish that quote didn't happen right before Jess was going to walk the wrong way... The quote is good, Jess was a bad rep for girly girls with their shit together.
That was my favorite quote from the show! I too, rock a lot of polka dots. 😂
@@somethingcooliguess Yeah, sometimes comedy shows will underplay serious moments for a laugh. Jess def gets her shit together in the later seasons though- it's character development! :)
@@somethingcooliguess Jess did a good job for a girly girl - she showed that her strength (mostly) was in her kindness and her love for girly things was ALWAYS played off as endearing and she was STILL a character with her shit together who becomes the principal. Cece was a girly girl too - heck, she was a model. She was an even better example because despite loving getting ready she was insanely tough and smart and caring
I’ve recently started to watch new girl, and it has given me a whole new perspective on femininity. I loved this episode, and specially the fact that both of them at the end didn’t fight for the guy, but talked through to solve their differences.
We also shouldn't bash on women who genuinely want to get married and raise a family as her goal.
It's freedom of choice for many people, and we have the right to choose what we want in life. No matter how simple or difficult it may be.
I feel the same course if I hear from any kid that is their main goal I would ask them what are you gonna do before?
It'd be nice to see a butch homemaker not one overcompensating.
PERIOD
I'm a stay-at-home mom and on the mom groups we are shamed. I would never ever shame a working mom, a unmarried mom. But I get shamed for my choice every single day.
Yes so true. I wish they'd go into that more in depth. So many people use being a stay at home mom as a slight and it's so mean
Yeah, I want to raise a family some day and I want to do it in a certain way. If that means I have a to be a stay at home mom (if my future husband has a job that will let me do that) then I will be.
The fact that Legally Blond and Sharpay from HSM were not mentioned just hurts
Elle is shown in clips
Charlotte from Princess and the frog as well! It was refreshing to see true friendship between her and Tiana
Omg, yes! It was so cool to see one rich girly girl not to be egoistic and evil.
Yes she was so selfless and kind to Tiana.
I like how people say that she ordered to make the blue dress for Tiana since it fits so well to her body and also all of Charlotte's attire is pink
YES! My favourite thing when I was younger was that they were besties and they stayed besties. When I first watched it I absolutely loved both Tiana AND Charlotte and I expected them to make ChArlotte, when she was older, like a brat or a mean girl or just them not as good friends and I’m glad that they didn’t go down that route.
I love her because despite her femininity shes never shown to be weak at all - in fact, I'd say she's quite the opposite
“I wanna love glitter, and also stand up for the double standards that exist in our society. I wanna wear pink, and tell you how I feel about politics. I don’t think those things have to cancel each other out.”
- Taylor Swift, in Ms. Americana, 2020
Yass Queen 💕 well said
I love her I am a complete girly girl and I’m not ashamed of it I thankfully was not raised to be ashamed of it although my past relationship made me feel bad about the type of music I like and now I feel scared of playing my music on calls with friends because I feel like they’re going to judge me the same way that my ex did also I’m bisexual and this was very degradingBut I already knew that coming out to my mom wasn’t going to be a good idea she’s already homophobic she didn’t snap at me but she tried to give me all of the possible reasons in this world as to why I’m not bisexual she even went as far as saying but that can’t be possible you’re such a girly girl I just don’t see it that was one of the many degrading comments she made about me in the past months so this is currently my life
Embracing my femininity and speaking up about social issues seems to threaten insecure men and women alike. So I keep on doing it 😂
she was speaking facts
@@Grace-mb8tb i don't consider myself a girly girl. I do hold in alot of things by im trying to keep the peace... maybe not always a good way to handle things... but when im not doing that, I can be brash. Thats the word, right? Abrasive, blunt, no filter, whatever. Ill go off on a room full of ppl. I can give no fs. Thats not "too lady" like but whatever. Bc humans can't even handle cordial, civil, or basic mannerisms either
I’m so proud to say I’ve never pretended to hate pink or stopped wearing it even when some girls mocked me for it 🤝
Heck yeah!
Lol if anything being told no just made me want to do it more 😂
@@alyssapinon9670 exactly LMAO
@@etherealprincess2809 idk if anything I kind of had the opposite problem. I went from worrying that people would judge me for being girly to passionately flaunting my girliness. But when I want to college no one really cared how I dressed since people there were more open minded. Then I realized that I was being very defensive about my girliness in the past and that I could let my guard down now that I was older
Same gurl same i honestly never hate on any colour but from my experience and specially online idk why people hate pink so much its just a colour nothing is wrong with it ;-;
'Lottie' from The Princess and the Frog is the best written girly character ever. Hands Down
She 𝙀𝙉𝘿𝙀𝘿 racism while wearing a dresss
She's also very supportive of tiana 🥺❣️
So freaking true!
i fucking loved charlotte she was so cute
She’s kind of a really pure character though 😂
The thing is: you can look girly and like pretty things, but that doesn’t mean that’s all you are as a person. You can be and like whatever. I’m girly but I love rock music and horror movies. And that’s okay. You can act like a lady, and be a badass at the same time.
Preach
okay same. im girly & i love rock (including rebel girl), horror movies, aerobics & im studying to be a civil engineer.
So true. I love pretty things and pink is my favorite color but System of a Down is my favorite band and I work in a lab where I get dirty all day.
Same. I like boybands and pop divas,but i also like punk and emo,for example. Depends on my mood.
That’s the thing I hate about stereotypes. It’s either you are this and like this so you are called this or you are this. It’s super annoying. Why can’t we just drop the whole “girly girl ( a girl who acts like a “girl” and likes pink but doesn’t like “boyish” stuff ) and the whole Tom boy ( a girl who doesn’t act like a “girl” and likes boys stuff and hates pink and girly stuff) it’s really annoying. Especially what they named it. “Tom boy” SERIOUSLY to identify a girl who likes being her self you are identifying her as a gender who she’s not? She’s not a boy or acting like one. She’s herself. And girly girl? PFFT please pink is a COLOUR it has NOTHING to do with being a girl.
also important to note: feminine coded character feelings aren’t always just disregarded, but often viewed as vapid and childish. jessica is treated, in both novel and book, as immature and lacking any depth, when she actually tries really hard to be bella’s friend. she opens up to her, keeps trying to uphold friendship while bella is going insane over a dude she knew a few months (much more immature imo), and is actually rly emotionally intelligent. she notices how bella is acting off constantly, and she’s aware and understanding of her own feelings, and her friends around her. she’s not perfect, but she isn’t a one dimensional person either
"Fine! I cared. I’m a girly girl. I like boys, and I don’t like it when they’re mean to me, and I don’t like it when they stop kissing me and start kissing my friends, I’m not that cool, I’m not Juno, homeslice."
I love the fact that we've reached a point where every single one of these videos ends up with a Community reference in the comments.
Community made good use of the troops.
@@dgvanz1155 It's particularly good at addressing and at times even subverting those tropes, while in a way acknowledging their role into shaping common narratives.
GOD I LOVE COMMUNITY
I forget if Britta or Annie said that
I absolutely adore this channel.
KAKAKAKAKAKAK this is wonderful! PRANK! It is terrible! I looked in the mirror and saw something UNPRETTY: my face. KAKAKAKAKAKA! But I am happy agayn because I have TWO HOT GIRLFRIENDS and I use them to get views on my videos! KAKAKAKAK!!! Good day, dear h
Likewise, it offers a unique take on common media tropes, and I almost always find myself agreeing with their arguments by the end of the video, even if I didn't initially! 📹👏🏾💙
@@AxxLAfriku are you alright??😳
Why? It's biased
AxxL Are you ok buddy
In the movie mean girls, Regina George is a girly girl BUT in the end of the film she has transformed into a sporty girl and it is implied that she's now happier than ever. Was she a terrible person just as a girly girl? Cindy was rejected when she transformed into a girly girl, and her love interest showed care for her geek side. Meanwhile the tomboy/goth girl manages to find a guy at the end of the film, just magically.
Not really sure why you took her joining the sports team as her rejecting being a girly girl. She just joined the lacrosse team. She is happier than ever because she doesn't have to keep maintaining a facade that left her with friends she barely liked, a boyfriend she didn't want, eating food she hated, and never really expressing her emotions. And now she is finding enjoyment in an activity that would probably diminish her social status before and finally has an outlet for all this anger and rage she feels. That doesn't make her not girly. Also Cady loved math and was interested in the mathletes. But then was told to maintain a certain level of social status and for her to get the guy she was interested she had to start failing math. She wasn't being true to herself. Aaron didn't like necessarily like her geeky side, he just liked her being herself.
The main problem with Mean Girls is that even though the point is that all the girls are mean the main mean girl is a girly girl. And media likes to do that to girly girls. For some reason having feminine girlish interests makes you hateful.
she was happier because she now had a proper outlet to release her aggression, instead of funneling it to bullying
I dont think that's really the takeaway here, Karen Smith was THE girly girl of the group. yet, at the end of the movie when it is established that they have all given up the "Plastics" persona in order to be happy as themselves she still is a girly girl. Regina's transformation is most likely due to her not actually enjoying being a girly girl and just doing it due to the social supremacy she got from excelling at being a girly girl. For her it wasn't genuine liking of these traditionally feminine roles, it was a performance created for the purpose of being praised and loved by society
@@beatrixlozach4840 nice point
She’s still girly, just joined sports as a way to vent her anger
I wanna see a teen film where a dark skin black girl plays the main character and she's a kind, caring, and super-duper girly. I've always been a daddy's girl and this hyperfeminine style of clothing and body language is my pale pink cup of tea.
I believe Issa Raw said she has something in the works about this.
@@HUeducator2011 REALLY!!!!?? OH MY GOSH Thank you for telling me!
Omg! Like hi twin! I even have a cute purse puppy.
@@brokenquill9277 Aaaaaw! I wish the youtube comment section had pictures! what kind of dog is it!
Kennedy Jo Jackson YES!! I have a show in my mind
Everyone has to learn we're not just girly or cool or nerdy or a tomboy. We can have a full multi-faceted personality and not one of these traits is inherently better or worse than the other.
Ofc I think some of us are more than the other though or its just about what you identify most with
I agree. Sometimes I like girly things and sometimes I don't. But these days children are being forced into being complete girly girls or tomboys to the point of being potential transmen if female and macho boys or completely effeminate if male. They are pushed into being the steretype for the gender they were born with or be a candidate for transitioning with puberty blockers.
Omg yes
I agree, it is also circumstantial, e.g. I love pink, floral dresses, and parfum, but as I'm an agronomist I have to wear boots, pants and a hat to work.
Yes people need to remember shrek. We are all onions (or cakes). We all have layers.
I'm strong, intelligent, independent, and a girly girl! Damn proud of it, too. I like having long hair, wearing makeup, wearing dresses, glitter, being pretty, dislike sports, enjoy reading, writing, drawing, got straight As in school, have a degree, bought my own home, and raised two kids, one of them entirely on my own.
Shout out to girls who are proud to be girls.
✨QUEEN✨
So you had a child out of weddlock...maybe you shouldn't be bragging on the internet. (Or maybe you got divorced. Also bad.)
@@ZachStachelski13 Maybe you're just bitter because you can't accomplish as much on your own. Maybe you shouldn't be so judgy, especially when you don't know the others' situation. Imagine saying that to a widow.
@@ZachStachelski13 You're clearly an incel.
@@ZachStachelski13 honey i dont think u realise that we live in the 21st century and shaming someone for having children out of wedlock is not a thing anymore nor does it make any logical sense (which based on your comment u lack greatly).
I watched "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" for the first time ever a few months ago and I didn't get the impression that we were being encouraged to look down on Marilyn's character - in fact, the big speech the character makes towards the end about how she's labelled a gold-digger for doing the same thing men do by other means made me think the movie was created to push back on the trope.
The character shows creativity, ingenuity, ruthlessness and razor-sharp intelligence throughout the movie. She is so self-aware and deliberately subverts the power dynamic in her story.
I thought the same thing when I watched it. Of course sometimes in the movie they use her personality as a comic relief, but they also make her smart, hardworking, and a decided person. They made her aware of how men saw her and she used it against them to her own benefit.
@@annyviana21 I loved her response when she realised she'd been seated next to the little boy at the dinner table🤣I also love her relationship with her friend. It was such a lovely depiction of female friendship. Her friend knows her and accepts her for who she is. Was so happy that the friend came through all the way to the end. And that number with the half-naked men was AMAZING. It made me think of modern music videos but with the men being the video vixens.
"Don't you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty. You might not marry a girl just because she's pretty, but, my goodness, doesn't it help. And if you had a daughter, wouldn't you rather she didn't marry a poor man? You'd want her to have the most wonderful things in the world and to be very happy, oh why is it wrong for me to want those things?"
"I can be smart when it's important, but most man don't like it"
I need to watch that! I used to watch old movies back when video rental stores were a thing. I don't remember if that was one of the movies available.
@@teresaellis7062 it's available on TH-cam now
I'm going to edit this because now that I'm reading it. it sounds kinda cringe 😬 😅: I don't like it when both a tomboy and girly girl fights over a boy.
Then he cheats on the tomboy with a girly girl 😑😑
I sooo hate this type of plot 💀
@Lilac agree
and when the girly is chosen they shame her nonstop
@Lilac that's what I'm talking about why can't there be a stories with a tomboy and girly girl liking each other in a romantic way. It cloud be enemies to Lover's kind of story. Also what about goth girlxprep/girly girl.
it's so weird that for a period of time in the media, being a "badass girl" literally meant either being a straight up bitch with no emotions or acting like a man, and any girl who doesn't automatically want to act like a man is inferior. I remember being a kid and being so scared to admit I liked girly things because other GIRLS or WOMEN (like my mum etc) would make fun of girls who did, I kept saying my favourite colour was blue even though it was pink, hopefully the future generation of girls wouldn't need to live through that.
I changed my favorite color as a kid to be more like my cousin.
I like pink though! It's not my favorite color, but I like it.
Please tell me you recognize that this is feminism fault right? Literally who else is telling people this...? Only feminists.
As a mother to a 4 year old girl: although i always offered her all color choices, all toy types, nomatter if its a car, building blocks or a barbie and always tried to shop clothes that include all styles - she LOVES pink, glitter, dolls, dresses, princesses, pretty much from the start 😂🤷♀️ not all stereotypical preferences are taught, some are genuinely just there! She is a girly girl without me forming her into one. But she is also bright, clever, empathetic, caring, goofy, adventerous, energetic, bookish, artsy and a great friend. So what does that tell us in the end? Being a girly girl doesnt define us whatsoever. It means literally nothing if you like pink, princess dresses and romance. Because you can simultaneously be a badass and a geek. Be who you are, unapologetically!
My mom said that's exactly how I was growing up too and her and my Dad never "taught" or forced any of that on me either. It's just generally who I am. And yes my Dad "taught" me about more masculine things like cars, sports like baseball and basketball, and action movies but he never made me feel ashamed for preferring the traditionally feminine things over those and as a result I'm proud that I'm mostly a girly girl who loves dressing in skirts, dresses, and heels, purple and glitter, watching rom-coms, loving musicals, wearing makeup, and pursuing a career as a nail technician because of my love for nail painting and nail art while at the same time not being afraid to get my hands dirty, knowing how to fix any minor problems with my car, enjoying baseball or softball, and loving reading
@@oncerand_directioner that is so amazing! You have wonderful parents 💜 all things are just here to be enjoyed and experienced, we shouldnt box them up in categories anyway. My son is only 1, but he will receive the same freedom of choice and empowerment of being himself as my daughter does, however that may be!
@@emiliana1767 Aw thank you! I totally agree that no one should be boxed into a category because we are all complex, multifaceted human beings. Your daughter and son are lucky to have you as mother too!
My daughter is 4 and the same way. She loves pink and purple. She loves fairies and plants. And shes very girly. She likes ballet and art. Shes also very sweet, calm, and poised for her age. She did not get this from me at all. Shes also dynamic, and is obsessed with being a doctor when she grows up right now.
Its funny, I grew up as a tough girl from Detroit, Michigan. I use to love pink as a girl and girlie things but gave it up for basketball and martial arts because my dad thought it would protect me. Now, my 4 year old daughter has me, at age 28, just now exploring my feminine side.
@@a.d.w8385 What a beautiful experience! It leaves me realizing that we can only add to but not change who we inherently are from the start. It doesnt make sense to change what we feel connected to, because life will find a way to that eventually 🌈
I hate it when a guy is called gay because he likes some feminine things. I'm straight. But I got called gay from some guy on the bus for singing along to a Selena Gomez song. How is like women singers or Action shows with female leads gay? I like Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus and She-Ra (1980s) Monster High, Wonder Woman. But I also like Power Rangers Godzilla and blood soaked horror. So, I get annoyed sometimes.
That was his own insecurity that made him call you gay. That's stupid to think sexual orientation has anything to do with music taste, or taste at all. And he knew it very well, just had some issues himself and did what he did.
No normal person would call others any names(they consider insulting) in any case. When someone does, it's their problem :)
Wow that guy was insecure, imagine calling people names for something completely normal instead of minding his own business
Dude you're completely normal trust me, music taste, fashion sense doesn't make you less of a man, my father is considered a tough guy and all of his favorite singers are women, no one shames him for it because it's normal, So it's just a matter of taste, I respect you for being who you really are be proud about it ❤️❤️
Everyone has BOTH masculine and feminine traits. It has nothing to do with your sexuality and doesn’t make you any less straight. (No matter what society says) ignore people and do what you want
You sound like a really fun person lol. Selena Gomes, WW and Monster High are iconic
I felt this Trop’s effects are school. Last night, all my friends were talking about there first impressions of each other. I am very girly and never go to school without heals and a matching outfit. All my friends said “well after seeing walking down the halls in your outfits, I thought you were some shallow snake.” When you’re 16 years old, hearing that most people might not like you before even saying two words to you kind of hurts...
Ouch I’m sorry to hear that. I usually don’t wear heels simply because my old school had a lot of stairs but one day I wore some wedges and a pencil skirt for a come as you are picture day. Some bitchy girls walked by and started commenting on how overdressed I was.
And even with some old friends they thought I would be a mean popular girl based on the way I dressed. Thank god I made friends who don’t see all femininity as evil
Yep. My friend and I were dropping off the keys to her apartment. She had just moved out. But the problem was we couldn't get outside of the fence because we left the Keys in the apartment. She was worried that I couldn't jump a fence. I was wearing a skirt, cute flats and a lace blouse. I jumped the fence in a second and I had to guide her how to do it. She was amazed...well. I grew up climbing trees, buildings and being very active...I guess she thought that I only played with barbies all day as a child. I did both....When I started to dress girly I saw how people assumed many things about me...
We just have uniforms sooooo🙃
Honestly tho you kind of brought it on yourself wearing heels in school at 16. Obviously a lot of woman will be threatened by that...don't be obtuse.
It's ridiculous to be that focused on your appearance.
This is why Blair Waldorf was such a great character. Girly, feminine, strong, vulnerable, smart, witty, charming.
Exactly!
wydm she was so insecure she sucked lmao she constantly was bringing down other girls
@@noelle0000 in the beginning, sure. but it's called character development. out of everyone (barring chuck) she changed the most.
@@alexare7948 girl she married a man who traded her for a hotel.
@@beautifullEternal girl, I'm a guy. and also refer to my comment above.
So we arbitrarily created "feminine" expectations and then arbitrarily devalued them lol
DING! DING! DING!
yep lolllllllllllllllllll this is the best comment
@Sam yep we can’t win
@Sam I agreed and if someone says that misogyny doesn’t exist they need to get themselves out of they’re dreams and wake up in reality
and then devaluated devaluating them
I wasted so many years in elementary and middle school not wearing dresses and trying to create a tomboy image because I internalized the idea that being a girly-girl was bad. Frick that! Dresses are amazing! Girls' interests are valid and not on a tomboy/girly-girl binary!!!
I'm so happy to see that being feminine is becoming less taboo. I actually just finished watching gossip girl . I love that Blair Waldorf is girly while also being ambitious and smart. She pursues love and a career. We don't have to be one dimensional people.
@Mo'mina Makin I feel that because being see as feminine can have a negative connotation (as seen in the video) people can be anti feminine. When people become anti feminine they shame others for enjoying feminine activities calling others shallow, high maintenance, conceited, stuck up and also bitches. Also being feminine people automatically underestimates your intelligence. Women feel that they have to be unfeminine in ordered to be taken seriously. You see this happen mostly in the work place or in school. In most movies a traditionally feminine character are most likely seen as a bitch or a bad spouse. I think this makes (women especially) feel like they can not embrace feminine traits. I also want to point out that being submissive, not taking charge or being dependent doesn't necessarily equate to being feminine. But do you see how this is a conclusion most people came to about a feminine woman? I do think that women are shamed no matter what for example like you stated women who are seen as bitches for speaking up or being assertive. I understand your point when it comes to the negative ideas associated with being a non feminine women.I think its important that as women we are able to embrace all parts of ourselves without being made to feel like something is wrong with us.
@Mo'mina Makin I'm sorry I thought your question was how is being feminine taboo. As far as your thoughts on women being raised to sumit to men intrest. I don't feel like that is exclusive to femininity. Women also play the role of "not being like other girls" to be desirable to men. I find that mostly younger women are acting this way so I don't know if most women are being raised to met men needs in the traditional way anymore. I do think women try and do things that they think men like but like I stated that can be in an multitude of ways.
@Mo'mina Makin I feel like you're making my point that being feminine can be seen as weak and agreeable and I don't think that this is what being feminine is about.
@Mo'mina Makin I completely agree with this. I hope this is the direction that we are headed in as a society. I see more and more people calling gender roles out. I do think the more we let people do what feels right for them the better we will be as a collective.
I feel that, as a society, we're constantly reminded that having feminine interests is less than. That "masculine" interests are the neutral and fun while feminine interests, like shopping or make-up or teen romance novels, are inferior and shallow. It's because of this that I sometimes don't understand if my interests have actually risen due to my personality or if I've simply adopted them to distance myself from the "inferior girly girl"
Well if that’s all you care about of course it’s inferior. I never heard of make up actually doing something to improve our world. These are feminine characteristics that used to be also masculine a few centuries ago, but if that’s all your range of interests, I think you should try to expand a bit lol. It’s one thing to appreciate taking care of yourself and another thing to be interested only in that. Big difference. Same with men that are obsessed with going to gym and getting ripped and that’s all they care about. That’s not a very interesting human being.
well the whole being materialistic thought: um not all of us girly girls only like designer or expensive dates, places, etc. we can enjoy simple and free things as well. not all of us are rich.
@Nic sims was neat, dress up your dolls and then later let them drown in the pool xD
@@mgdkns6678 I dont think that a hobby should be good for the world lol. Hobby should make you feel good, not make the world better
Eva Mishchenko Hobbies can be actually useful, make you a better person and yes, by extension make you make the world better by being educated and knowledgeable in that department, therefore doing better. Such hobbies could be: psychology, sociology, science, neuroscience, environmental issues, food, human nature, philosophy, literature, art, etc. Hobbies can make you a better person, and by extension you make make the world better. Because you do better. I don’t think you wearing a pink lipstick or a violet scarf matters to anyone else but you. But you, by making better , more knowledgeable decisions can lead by example and influence other people to do the same. So yeah, hobbies can have depth. The “girly” things are superficial because that’s their nature. You can have superficial interests and that’s human, we all do. But don’t pretend they’re anything more than that.
"it costs money to be girly". That s essential. A lot of us are not more "well taken care of" cause we cannot afford being too much feminine in the manner we would like. It takes time and money. Being feminine, even as a man (who dresses well and have proper manners and is polished) is expensive. Definitely not for everybody.
Yep. We have a saying in Mexico.
There's no such thing as an ugly girl, just a poor girl.
I went back to school and can't afford nicer things to pampered me...I saw the difference...
@@lindavel43 we say the same in Brazil! But I think that it is possible to be girly and do the best with what we can afford, for example, even if we do not have many clothes we can have a few that are beautiful for us. And it is easy to find gratuit lessons of how to be more polished in internet.
true that. I'm not ungirly, I'm just frugal lol
y'all got me crying my eyes out alone in my room. i've hated the color pink since i was six years old and i'm only just now undoing all the internalized misogyny that's been a part of me my whole life. i've kept myself from enjoying so many things because i didn't want to be seen as shallow or stupid or weak. i judged other girls for their clothes and interests and looked down on them like they were less than me, when they're just as much a person as me, with thoughts and feelings and dreams and everything. i've blocked myself off from forming friendships with girly girls, when in reality they are some of the smartest, kindest, most complex people you will ever meet. and i really do love the color pink.
it’s great that you’ve been able to embrace and accept this part of yourself ! there is nothing wrong with being girly and i’m rlly glad you’ve realized that :))
More power to you girl
Awwww I feel you. These videos about internalized misogyny can hit close to home 😭
Wow I feel the same way 💞💞
Love this 💖
I am a tomboy, but absolutely hate when the girly girl is portrayed as shallow, this portrait is superficial not the girl
I'm also a tomboy and I completely agree.
Yes, I hate it and I’m also a tomboy but I will always be a girls girl.
@@quin6324 maybe Descendants (mal and evie) (i know it a knock off of ever after
High) or My little pony(Rainbow dash and Rarity)
IKR I’m not completely a girly girl (best of both worlds right?) but I’m not shallow so seeing them being portrayed as such is pretty sad and upsetting
@@quin6324 Aquamarine!! lol
I am sincerely proud of myself for getting over my "Not like other girls" phase and for fully embracing my girly self now
I'm a boy and I'm very girly I love hellokitty hahaha
We shame the girly girl but the "tomboy" is still.. pretty feminine. Butch women and masc women are also shamed. Womanhood is very much damned if you do, damned if you don't. Which is why it's so important to just be whoever you're comfortable being.
Exactly !!
Well said.
Yup. Same with hobbies. If you like stuff that’s predominantly enjoyed by men, you’re a ‘pick me’ who’s desperate for male attention. But if you’re into stuff like makeup and fashion you’re shallow.
"Never let anyone dull your sparkle"
Marilyn Monroe
Precisely, Marilyn was a true Goddess, and she was far more intelligent than the public gave her credit for! No Dumb Blonde here! 😉💛
@@trinaq I agree, the media promoted her to be a dumb blonde.
HELL YEAH!!
@Sadie Neufeld-Wall yep!
and then she killed herself . _ .,
Elle Woods is the epitome of a girl that isn’t afraid to be herself and wouldn’t care less about what everyone assumes about her💜
She’s one of the few nice blondes in media
This makes me think of Taylor Swift's quote, "I want to wear pink and tell you how I feel about politics."
Femininity doesn't signify shallowness or passivity. There is such thing as being 'girly' and feminine while also having opinions and aspirations. That's why Elle Woods is probs my favourite example of this :)
Seeing Legally Blonde for the first time after surviving merciless bullying for my femininity was so affirming especially when my friends commented how much I had in common with Elle (minus being white and blonde) and how awesome it was. 😊
I love her
being famine is about care , creativity and intuition but Hollywood has made it vapid and shallow and all about consumption and how you look.
If a woman feels confident, beautiful and powerful wearing a pink dress, heels, makeup and with her hair and nails done then that's perfectly fine. As long as a woman or any person is stepping out of their front door feeling confident and powerful, being their truest and most authentic self and is presenting the best version of themselves into the world then we should celebrate that not bash it. If a woman's truest and most authentic self is having her hair and nails done and looking nice, wearing a gorgeous flowy dress, high heels and a face full of makeup then that's amazing because she is stepping out and showing the world that she is comfortable in her own skin and her own identity and she is presenting the best version of herself into the world. none of those things take away from her skills, her intelligence or anything that she achieves in her life or in her career. thank you for coming to my TED talk.
👏👏👏👏 beautifully words!
@@peace.love.laughter1014 thats not the point i was making. The point i was making is that if a woman enjoys typically feminine and girly things like wearing dresses and heels and makeup and getting her hair and nails done and likes to watch soppy rom coms and like cute animals and pink stuff and those things make her happy in life and she finds enjoyment from them why should we bash her for it. She can still be intelligent and eloquent and have a skilled job and stuff. Those things that she enjoys dont take away from her intellect or her skills or achievements. What should be celebrated is people living their truths and being their truest and most authentic selves and presneting the best version of themselves into the world. And if a womans best version of herself is a pretty pink dress and fabulous hair then that's awesome and should be respected. I like cute things and i like pink and i cry at sad films. Does that make me one type of person? No. I have layers to me. Complexities.
@@oncerand_directioner thanks hun xx
what if i rather be an unauthentic potato xD
@@peace.love.laughter1014 I am familiar with the real story of Marilyn Monroe . and i get what you mean into slipping into societal boxes and stuff but like what if a woman genuinely likes those things for what they are and not just as a part of societal brainwashing. i mean the cosmetics industry is worth billions and that basically started from women trying to satisfy husbands by looking good by wearing makeup and living up to the societal standards of beauty and femininity at the time. Now it is a lucrative billion dollar industry. And i like when i surprise people when they find out some of the stuff I like. it add an element of mystery to me. looking at me on the surface people wouldn't expect 3 of my fave musicians that i listen to are Hozier, Tom Odell and James Bay. and people don;t expect me to like a lot of the older music that my parents like. People associate girly girls with loving boy bands but i hate boy bands. and also i'm not even straight so another subversion. you can both fit in with and subvert a stereotype at the same time.
being a girly girl isnt a bad thing but media makes it seem like it is
I’m an extremely girly girl: I love fashion, shopping, the color pink, jewelry and makeup. However, I have a 3.8 GPA and has been recently accepted into Salisbury University where I’m studying to be an English teacher. Girly girls can have brains too 👩🏾🏫💯🧠
@@niabelizaire3596 exactlyyy
When i was young, i loved the colour pink so much that my room was painted pink and my sheets were pink with flowers and i was the girliest girl out there. When i hit puberty, i started to hate pink because i thought it was weak and actively avoided wearing the colour at all. I went thru that im not like other girls edgy tumblr phase. I’m so glad i have grown since then and realize that society made me hate those things
omg same, I didn't go through the whole edgy tumblr phase (did have it in mind tho) but I pretended to hate pink, even painted my room blue so I could fit in, I now try to mix both my femininity side with my masculine side (tho i'm more feminine than masculine) instead of trying to be trendy or fit in with everybody
Me too!! I used to wear lots of black because I thought it was tougher, now I wear black with girly things and I painted my room pink just as it was when I was a kid (minus the childish bear wallpaper, that would be too much 😂)
Arya: You never would have survived what I had.
Sansa: Nor would you.
That second line is what I think should have been written in order to pay homage to the different strengths of the tomboy and the girly-girl. They both have strengths.
Being who they were benefitted them in different situations.
@@iguardproperties4781 opinions, opinions
@@iguardproperties4781 She would've been killed right away (if not worse) coz Arya isn't adaptable the same way that Sansa is. Same with Sansa with Arya's situations. They're both survivors of different kinds of exploitations and horrors.
Sansa were my favorite character. She is so strong, and it's sad that some people don't realize that.
@@iguardproperties4781 shit take
I remember in the Harry Potter books I got so upset when Molly, Ginny and Hermionie didn’t like Fleur bc she was too “girly”. They acted as if they were so different, when in reality Fleur was just like them smart, brave, caring she was just conventionally pretty
The hilarity of the aversion to the colour pink is that a few centuries ago pink was considered A MANLY colour because it was STRONG and ROBUST. While Blue was considered the girly colour because it was WEAK and SOFT. Just goes to show it's all about perspective
You know how it all changed? Hitler used PINK triangles to mark homosexuals in concentration camps, and suddenly men wanted nothing to do with pink, and since homosexuals are seen as feminine, pink was quickly transferred to the ladies.
Also light blue wasn't seen as weak and soft. It was associated with the Virgin Mary so an emblem of chaste femininity.
@@heywhat6676 I knew Hitler used pink triangles but I didn't know it was in a direct correlation to people becoming averse to pink. That just makes it all so much worse.
@Ooohbopbopboppadoohwah I am for it 100%
I've always noticed how guys doing ANYTHING that is considered slightly feminine gets called gay, first of all, its not insult, and second of all, since when did getting a manicure magically change what you're attracted to? And how girls who refuse to conform to femininity are immediately called lesbians, and in some cases even trans men yet to come out., because femininity determines literally everything, right? Because what sane woman would refuse to conform to the rigid expectations of society?
@@heywhat6676 it exposes those men to homophobic insults from society, and most women don't go for men who get manicures
The only exception that comes to mind where girly girls can also be strong: Sailor Moon and other magical girl anime
think about it, anime has given girly girls a unique kind of strength that you dont typically find in western media and they, in fact, embrace it.
Yes and especially Studio Ghibli movies! A lot of protagonists in their movies are feminine women/girls. I prefer to watch anime and old movies because I can find a lot of feminine characters whom I can relate to.
The western media unfortunately portrays feminine women in a bad way.
Satoshi Kon i think only had feminine main characters. Paprika, Perfect Blue, Millenium Actress, and Tokyo Godfathers, though in that one the feminine character is trans and is mocked for being feminine. The director himself said he admired the girls he went to school with and preferred to be friends with them because they were so much more complicated than the boys.
I think winx too, they are transform beautiful girls and kick somebody's ass
That’s what I like about too
I am MAD they didn’t talk about Elle Woods, because she’s the embodiment of this video.
As Karen from the Mean Girls Musical said, “I expect to run the world in shoes I cannot walk in!”
A true Queen ❤️
I’m both “tomboy” and “girly”
I like and enjoy everything
Same
Ditto, I like being out and about in nature and playing certain sports, but I'm also partial to the occasional manicure or spa date, and enjoy getting dressed up for certain events! 💅⚽
Same but I align more as a Goth/Metalhead but agreed.
Same
I’m just a blob
When I was a teen, I used to distance myself from being a girly girl and wanted to be "not like other girls". Hence, I forced myself to not do things that stereotypical girly girls do. Like love romances, or boy bands, or the colour pink. As subconsciously, my inner misogyny told me that these things are considered weak. But now, I embrace my femininity and true self and never felt stronger.
Speaking of feminine things being considered weak, I find it ironic that ‘masculine’ fiction like Fast and Furious and Star Wars are praised as masterpieces, yet media enjoyed by teen girls like Twilight, boy bands, and Titanic are shunned and put down for being silly.
*Edit: Didn’t know about her wildly racist and antisemitic remarks before posting this. Speaking out about one important topic now does not atone for that.*
Paris Hilton overcoming her shallow public persona and becoming an activist while still keeping her girly girl brand image intact is the real life version of this development
Yes!!!
sis Paris Hilton is a white supremacist
@@juairyataskin3804 Honestly didn’t know, but a very quick google search just fixed that. Thank you!
@@juairyataskin3804 and it's so tiring seeing people act like she hasn't said all of those things. shes a horrific person
@@_iamlilla rich glamorous white people aren't ever held accountable and this is just a classic case of that ://
this got me reminiscing about sailor moon i would KILL to see you guys do a video on sailor moon and it's different presentations of femininity
Omg yes!
I have been fat-shamed my whole life and as an adolescent and a teenager I related very very strongly to the "I'm not girly yuck" trope. I would wear boy clothes, and play sports and video games and hang around with guys bitching about "other girls". Only when I actually started living away from home and found a sisterhood in my "girly girl" roommates who taught me everything from grooming, processing complex emotions, being independent that I realised how wrong I was. Everyone is flawed and has their own strengths. This is a brilliant video
Don't say fat shamed as if it's ok to be obese.
Don't say fat shamed as if it's ok to be obese.
Let's play a squash match for 3hrs and then we'll talk about obesity and fitness
@@lazygirlrants9426 Go queen! Tell that incel off! ✨💃💅💅💅💅
@@ZachStachelski13 Hey here's a joke!
What do you call a mra who has been tortured and killed by a feminist?
A man who's learned his lesson 🤣🖕
This hit personally. Thanks the Take! I’ve always felt like I had to hide my girly-ness because I am a black woman. It often made people think I was meek and trying to assimilate. I genuinely enjoy these aspects of femininity. There’s no one way to express our femininity. It is simply displaying our admiration for beauty, softness and fulfillment. These are attributes anyone can have. This was so empowering!
I adore being a girly girl and NO ONE could ever take my femininity away from me.
Periodddddd
yesss
lola from loud house is an example of a girly girl.
same..I LOVE being feminine
PREACH!
A great example of breaking the trope of a girly girl not being competent is Brooklyn 99. The episode where rosa encourages amy to go wedding dress shopping, and amy takes down a perp wearing Dress. I don't think any other show does it this good
"Would you call me selfish?" - Cher
“Well, not to your face." - Dionne
Ooh, smooth burn! Reminds me of how much I adore "Clueless!" 🥰
Really? -Cher
"What's wrong? Is Josh giving you crap because he's going through his idealistic phase?" - Dionne
Proof that Cher is aware of her short comings and Dionne sees the world for what it is rather than what it is supposed to be.
I dont get it
Eybis Borjas Vargas well that’s definitely not it.
Le'Trail Hall-Nance i never thought about this
Had to pause the video at the "Boys like blue, girls like pink" bit, because it really smacked me in the face when you used the Power Rangers as the image example. When I was growing up, my mother despaired that I loved the Power Rangers, and even more so when my favourite character was Billy the Blue Ranger. She told me I couldn't be the blue ranger because I was a girl and the blue ranger was only for boys and that I *had* to be the pink ranger. The one compromise we had was that I could be the yellow ranger, because I couldn't identify with Kimberly as a character and Trini was "close enough". Still amazes me to this day that that was something important enough for my mum to argue with me on.
i love that they had the pink and yellow rangers to show girls can be girly and kick butt too and be more than that
My favorite color was red and I thought is was strange they gave it to the boy.
The fact that literally colors have gender attached to them, and that is enough for parents to literally argue with you about.
I was watching one of those baby shows with my stepmom and little brother. A mom was pushing her baby on a swing while singing lullaby verses. I pointed out that swing was meant for much bigger kids and was like 'that's dangerous.' And she agreed. Then the camera panned out and we saw the 'baby swing' was actually purple. And she was literally like "he should stay on the big swing because he can't be a boy on the purple swing. That's for girls."
I'm like 'that's a literal toddler. Who gives a hell? Is he going to start liking boys and playing dress up (which is normal and 100% alright) because he sat on a purple seat?
@@Des_. agreed! he could end up however he ends up anyway but yea you dont want kids being misgendered. it's be insulting like if a woman is called a man (like some women have deeper voices, are tall, etc)
@@melodyclark1944 many of my friends growing up, some girly, some tomboy, loved blue. ive always been a pink girl. some loved purple that's my 2nd fave
I love being girly girl. I love my perfume collection, my makeup collection and I will go on a jewelry haul after this. When I have the money, i will collect luxury handbags. I love being a girly girl. I think my life is boring without girliness.
yess
Yesssssss 🌸
I am a girly girl except I dont buy many of these things because I spend most of my money on books and rent and dont have any for expensive "girly girl" things
@@RED-my9hl then i guess you should buy some girly girl things one day if you’re girly
Aang is a another great example of a guy being feminine, Toph herself says it at the ember island play
True true
@Ooohbopbopboppadoohwah also because Peter Pan typically is played by a woman in theatre
I never thought of Aang as feminine because a.) the character is 12 and isn’t expected to be masculine yet, and b.) he’s a highly intelligent and idealistic leader, which is the kind of maturity I associated with the men in my life growing up.
Aang was not feminine. He was just easy going and playful. They didn't present him as the stereotypical "Angry Male Idiot" who was always aggressive, angry, and impulsive towards others and overly macho like Zuko or the goofball " Class Clown Dude" who's entire personality is based on how funny they are and how easy they can make others laugh while also thirsting for female attention like Sokka or Bolin. Aang didn't fit those male stereotypes but that did not make him feminine.
Aang was similar to Uncle Iroh being that they were both passive by nature until they had to physically protect themselves and others and they were both highly intelligent and showed much wisdom. Both were easy going, relatively gentle, and chose a more civil rational approach to situations if they saw it was a better way. However, you wouldn't go around saying Uncle Iroh was a feminine man. In the same way Aang doesn't fit the stereotype of being the aggressive angry idiot or the dumbass flirty goofball that doesn't mean he was feminine.
@@hollywoodshopaholic Yo, that's a weird sentence. Are you implying that women can't be smart or have leadership skills?
Lydia Bennet wasn’t looked down on for being “girly”. Elizabeth’s older sister Jane was girly, gentle and sweet and she was praised and admired. Lydia was judged because she was vulgar, crass and empty headed and she didn’t care about her family’s reputation.
For all the comments below; I never said she was an idiot and I fully agree that Wickham preyed on her. I’m just making the point that she was never faulted for being girly, I don’t think that was one of her traits really.
The criticism she gets from Lizzie (well technically Jane Austen) is pretty harsh too I mean I know I for one was a complete idiot when I was 15!! I don’t think there’s many people who could look back on themselves at that age and not be at least a little embarrassed.
wickham was a sexual predator and lydia was 15. she was forced to spend her life with him. her story is dark, dude
I was thinking that too. Lydia's fault isn't her girliness, it's her shallowness (that has nothing to do with being girly) that is being mocked. Now, maybe we could see her under a different light (she was 15 after all) and even give more depth to her character, but I agree that her girliness has nothing to do with it.
Yep she is definitely representate as this but as the above person said she is victimised by a child predator, and we know that Wickham doesn’t love her and she doesn’t fully love him so they’ll probably have rather sad lives together
she's an idiot and wikham is gross. case closed
I hate how the media only portrays that guys want the "I'm not like other girls" type.All the popular girls that wear makeup and are actually nice are just seen as Stuck-Up and mean.Any girl can wear makeup and like food.Any girl can play video games.I hate how they make you wanna choose.
I went from “I only wear t-shirts and play video games” to “I love dresses, rom-com and video games”
I love all of them.
As someone who spent their middle school years trying so hard to "not be like other girls" and pretending to not like girly things to feel superior this video was very healing to me.
I think we all had that exact phase in middle school. ^^;
Ya
same . we learned at some point. just remember it was done from trauma and you undid it. hope you`re not being hard on yourself for it. as i am
I hate the whole thing of girls being put down for being "girly". Like, I sometimes wear dresses and flowery clothes and other times I wear jeans and flannel shirts. It doesn't have to be one or the other. And it also doesn't have to be that one is somehow inferior to the other. There's nothing wrong with girls wanting to wear pink and dresses and go shopping and do all those other "girly" things. And there's also nothing wrong with girls wanting to wear jeans and t shirts and play in the mud and do sports (I don't do sports, my CFS would kick my ass if I did...) or be a slob. Like, I hate makeup (for me, there's nothing wrong with people wearing makeup) and that doesn't make me less of a girl. People have it in their heads that you can't enjoy the "girly" things in life and still be tough. They also have it in their heads that there's something wrong with girls not wanting to be these strong badass women. Or that there's something wrong with girls wanting marriage and kids and a happy life with someone they love. Being a strong woman means doing what you feel comfortable with, what *you* believe in and following your dreams. Not going around slapping guys who you deem assholes or defending every person you think needs it, or fighting wars or doing a "mans" job to prove a woman can do it. It just means doing what it is you want to do with your life, and if that's get married and have kids, and be a girly girl, then so fucking be it, be who you want.
Okay yes this right here!!! You’re so right-like why we can’t we just be both?? For example Malina Weissman who plays Violet in “A series of unfortunate events” is a girly girl who is smart and badass whilst wearing pink at the same time🥰! Honestly one of the best written girly girl characters in our generation. She represents a perfect balance between what it is like to be a girl in this society.
@@imjusthereok1722 exactly. You don’t have to dress in leather and constantly be getting in fights to be badass.
Never a girly girl but I adore and admire my little sister who is. Her passion for fashion as a kid gave her a real drive to find her own style especially as a mixed race girl.
That sounds absolutely wonderful. It's brilliant that she knows her own mind, and has a flair for fashion. 👏🏾💗👢👗
I have been waiting for this trope since forever ❤️
I used to be that ‘girly girl’ who was shamed and underestimated for just being herself. I am a 24 year old working woman now and I still possess stereotypically ‘feminine traits’ and it has nothing to do with my potential or intellect and it’s not the only thing that defines me as an individual.
The world would be a better place if the society stops shaming people (more specifically women) for the way they are. Girly girl, Tom boy, weird girl, femme fatale, book worm, etc - lets just love, accept and celebrate each other 🙌🏼
my classmates lowkey made fun of me cuz im too " girly ", i always wore dresses, i use makeup, i like pink but it's just my style.. i just wanna be myself.
This remember me a one of my friends who is super girly and very sweet ! But the people like make fun on her and for worst she is a lesbian ( im saying for worst because pleople think lesbians girls are only masculine )
Im mad with people like make fun in girly girls :'( , honey you are super strong so i hope this type of coments don't afect you , this is from a tomboy girl who support girly girls and all woman 💅
( sorry for the bad english :'( , its not my first language )
Im a girly girl too who loves pink and all that , and it’s just sad that the clichees of us are that we aren’t fun and too sensitive and stuff . Don’t let yourself down and just be who you are cuz that’s how you are perfect
SAME and then I stopped wearing dresses even though I like them. but people are so judgemental
I went to a college that absolutely despised girly-girls. You have no idea the amount of hostility my friends and I got whenever we discussed makeup: eye rolls, snickers, glares. We weren’t even judging anyone who didn’t like that stuff or disrespecting their choices; we just genuinely liked playing around with new products. It made us happy. I found it ironic that people deemed us shallow and stupid when we were actually far less judgmental than them and tried hard not to make assumptions about others before getting to know them. It especially sickened me that the people who hated on (and occasionally bullied us because we were feminine and thus more inclined to be passive) were other women. Guys usually left us alone.
I'm a guy who likes to wear short shorts, beaded necklaces, bright colors (including a nice salmon pink that complements my complexion-no Pepto Bismol), long curly hair (I treat with products aimed at black women because they're the best products ever), and who refuses to walk out the door without at least three accessories.
I'm not uber femme, but I am definitely not butch. And when someone calls me she or her or girl and apologizes, I tell them not to.
I'm also pretty intellectual (probably the one trait I'm mostly known for), introverted, poetic, and deeply spiritual.
These false dichotomies and roles are such nonsense. This video, especially when it was defending Marilyn Monroe's character in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (a weird, no sequitur of a title!), made me a bit emotional and happy.
Thank you for your amazing content!
right on! you should be honest about who you are. people are hypocrites bc they dont accept others but expect to be accepted
Umm I think you dropped this 👑
Honestly, these videos inspire me so much. Predominantly described as a 'tomboy', I find a little bit of each trope relatable to me. I think that explains how complex, sophisticated and versatile we are as women.
As a girly girl I can relate to all of this I feel like I've always been looked down upon by the people around me for liking girly stuff also the things I care about are always looked at as not important like makeup, clothes, hair I've been judged for caring about those things and I've felt weird for liking these things I'm so happy people are talking about this and the misogyny of it all
I've had the exact same experiences and thoughts.
Femininity is not weak, girls can be girly or more tomboy, they are all strong and valid!
Being a tom-boy growing up gave me such a false sense of power. I felt like I had to trade femininity for respect. When I was the girl playing in the mud and scoffing a other girls it gave me a small protection blanket, like if I sneer at them then I'll be left alone, I wont be dismissed or belittled because I'm a big strong boy too, I'm smart enough to dismiss girlyness I'm "not like other girls".
Then when I grew up a bit it had been so ingrained in me that femininity was bad that I felt like my entire identity was being challenged when- *gasp* I actually like dresses? and nail polish??
I think its harmful to shame and dismiss any performance of identity period.
I've experienced all of this too
Loved this, I loved how you touched on the fact that society views girly girl personalities and femininity as not being synonymous with women of color, black women in particular. Can you do the Middle Child Trope next?
TanyaBluved she really just needed to say BLACK women
All these trope videos only strengthen my love and appreciation for Legally Blonde. Elle Woods showed that women can be ambitious, independent, and feminine and still lead a successful and happy life. Internalized misogyny teaches us women to hate all things pink and girly because our society values masculinity as the standard and femininity as the exception, as if liking those things makes us less human and have less worth. And it promotes toxic masculinity by demonizing any men who also express interest in stereotypical feminine hobbies and activities, like liking fashion and not liking sports. But there’s nothing wrong with liking things that are feminine or masculine, no matter your gender. People should be able to express their femininity or masculinity without worrying about how they would be perceived by their peers or loved ones.
and remember that one female character in the movie, Enid, that was a lesbian feminist and dressed more "tomboyish" ? she despised Elle because she was traditionally feminine and assumed she was bitchy and rude when in reality Elle tried so hard to be nice to her and make friends
There was also something so powerful about Elle and Vivian becoming friends, and both just rejecting Warner. I mean they both had misconceptions about each other, which they overcame and realised those misconceptions had basically bene created by this ass of a man.
I mean, Lydia is given a much fairer discourse in the book. She's motivated partly by her mother's playing favourites with her children based on marriage prospects, partly by sibling rivalry, partly by thirst for romance and adventure, and partly by being strongly interested in Wickham even before Lizzy. She's explicitly attracted to soldiers because their wives get to go with them to interesting places and get to move in varied social circles. She's jealous of her sisters not only getting interest from men, but also getting to travel and getting parental attention and approval. Marrying Wickham means marrying before her sisters, getting to be her mother's favourite again, getting to travel and to be seen as an adult. She's deemed silly and unthinking, but she's not unsympathetic and her motivations are pretty obviously spelled out throughout.
She's just a teenager who makes a bad choice and never has a chance to grow from it or redeem herself because of the society around her, a consistent criticism of society in Jane Austin's books. Lydia is not once framed as the villain, she's just a "foolish girl" whose naive adolescent arrogance made her a prime victim for a known predator. Darcy's more sensible and reserved sister very nearly did the exact same thing.
exactly!
And Jane is another "girly girl" who is explicitly very gentle, kind, beautiful, etc, and she still ends up with a great guy because she doesn't settle for marrying a Wickham. Lizzie isn't even non-feminine - she just sees that her sister is putting herself in danger by going to Brighton (which was basically like the Regency Vegas) and being chaperoned by a very young newlywed couple. Her least feminine act is probably walking to Netherfield, but that's just because her main motivation there is protecting Jane, who she thinks is grievously ill. Lizzie is a mix of masculine and feminine traits, and even her biggest flaw (her judginess, or prejudice) is more associated with women than men.
Thanks for this take! Girls shouldn't be judged for wanting traditionally feminine goals. As Meg March puts it "Just because my dreams are different from yours doesn't mean they're unimportant!" 😍👏🏾
Amen
Traditionally feminine goals suck, though, that's why they were drilled into our brains by men. Being a housewive is a good recipe for becoming impoverished or being stuck in an unhappy marriage. So, yes, I judge people for having goals that are objectively stupid choices.
@@red_calla_lily
1. Do you have a source?
2. If not, stop judging women for wanting a housewife.
@@red_calla_lily your part of the problem 😀
@@red_calla_lily that isn't your decision to make. If I want to have multiple children, be a wife, take care of my home, and pick up fun, new hobbies during the day while my husband *chooses* to take care of finances, then why not. This is not the end all be all for marriage. Yes, you should have your own money. Yes, you should be financially stable and responsible. Yes, you should have saved up money for if things don't work out. That is common sense. And many women feel mentally and physically drained from overworking themselves in this day and age. This requires masculine energy which naturally feminine women/ girly girls are not naturally attuned to, it can only hurt them in the long run.
Stupid is a childish word. So is the term 'It sucks'. This just means you lack the ability to see into mind of someone other than yourself. Hard work, grinding, and working until you drop in this modern would isn't a much better alternative.
Yeeey, also, waiting for the Hot exotic girl trope
Especially the Latin Lover.
I don't think that's a thing
Exoticism in sexual tropes is a thing... just try and be a bit more specific.
Amazonian beauty? Orientalism? The Noble Savage? All of these suck by the way they are just the accepted current names for a set of really reductive, sexist and racist character tropes.
@@Firegen1 I'm latina but because for many years Latinas were used as the "ethnic girl" and they put them as any other than white or black (indigenous, middle eastern, Indian...) I decided to leave it open, also, sometimes they put different archetypes of a trope in one video
I used to discourage my daughters to be girlie, but read a good book about respecting girls for what they like and not negate it. It changed how I raised them and I think they were much happier. They have diverse likes, and that's great.
I was very much a stereotypical 'tomboy' growing up and even had my own 'i hate anything pink and girly' phase as a child but the older I've gotten and the more my understanding of feminism has shaped me and my relationship with the world around me, the more 'girly' I've become (even if the pants and no make up have stayed).
I always joke that I was an Arya who became a Sansa. And one of the main reasons I stopped watching GoT was precisely because it seemed like the creators got a kick out of punishing Sansa for being feminine. And even worse, that the viewers encouraged that. When you look at which female characters the audience was always a bigger fan of, you can see how it was pretty much always the ones who presented or acted in a more 'masculine' way (like Brienne or Arya) or were inserted into roles often belonged to men (like Dany with her 'heroic', Dragon-filled adventures). They only started appreciating Sansa once she started moving into more stereotypically 'masculine' territory. Her clothes became darker and she was pretty much stripped of everything that made her character so uniquely interesting in the first place, particularly her hugely empathetic heart and aversion to violence. And then suddenly the girl who, in the books, doesn't even feel joy watching her number one tormentor die in front of her, is suddenly being cheered on by the audience for taking sadistic pleasure in having a bunch of dogs maul someone in front of her. But hey.... girl power! /s
Not to mention how often teenage girls are hated by audiences, especially in 'male centered' shows. Or even the trope of the wife who keeps the male lead from doing whatever he wants (no matter how morally wrong and/or dangerous to the family that may be) and then gets a sh*t ton of hate by the audience because shes getting on the way of the manly man's adventures which are, of course, the only thing we should care about.
As a former 'not like other girls' kid, few things annoy me more today than those characters. Yes, rejecting traditional gender norms can be very empowering and should absolutely be encouraged, but not at the expense os those who, either by choice or by force, adhere to those stereotypes in their own lives. The whole point of feminism is to not shame women for who they are and allow them to express their womanhood in whatever way they see fit and feel comfortable with. It's sad how we seem to have simply gone from one extreme to the other throughout the years.
The part with the wife trope made me think of Skyler White and the video about her and why people are hating on her.
I always felt for Sansa because I’ve grown up with Disney princesses and the idea of marrying a prince and all that but eventually grew sorta out of it. And some wouldn’t understand why I like her character as she “doesn’t do anything” but she was by far the most realistic as she was raised to expect what she wanted but was shocked of learning that not everything is like a song and was a hostage most of her life. It felt rewarding to see her as queen in the north.
Yes seeing these not like other girl characters always fill me with a deep seated rage and resentment. Especially because it influenced how I used to see femininity and how people treated me once I started embracing my girliness