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By the end of the movie, Megan was by far my favorite character. Not just because she’s hilarious, but she’s completely comfortable in her own skin. That’s confidence goals.
Agreed, while Megan isn't the skinniest woman in the movie, she's by far the least insecure, and the most happiest and down to earth as a result. Annie is enraged because of Helen swooping in on Lillian, Lillian is too caught up by Helen's swanky lifestyle, Helen is trying to overcompensate by flaunting her wealth to mask her loneliness, and Rita and Becca are so bored with their affluent lifestyles that they end up drunkenly making out with each other.
Megan has always struck me as the most genuine person in "Bridesmaids". She sees things EXACTLY as they are, and doesn't pretend to be something she's not. While most of the other women act passive aggressive to each other, and try to present a perfect facade, Megan forces Annie to see the cold hard truth, and forces her to literally "fight for her life". Megan may be a little coarse, boyish and unconventional, in contrast to the more feminine, stylish Helen, but she's unashamedly herself. Melissa McCarthy definitely stole the show with her supporting performance. Megan is the friend that we all need!
I dont think so. A big part of adult friendships is not only CHOOSING to make and spend time with this new person in your life that youre not entirely sure is worth the effort at all, but they have to choose YOU as well. Friendships dont work unless both people are willing to commit on similar levels and that takes a lot of work on both parts to make it happen. I dont think knowing others are in the same boat as you makes it easier to make friends. Looking at someone else's wounds wont heal your own and let's be honest, if you dont have that immediate "click" or chemistry with someone, you or they will stop putting in the effort very quickly no matter how lonely the both of you are. Because even when were lonely, we all still have standards. And when those standards arent being met very quickly, effort and further interest goes out the window really fast.
This made me feel weird about not having any friends as an adult, because maybe a million Meghan’s have approached me but I’m always looking for a Helen to save me.
Nora Nora Well, the important thing is that you’re aware of it now right? And hey, why not be your own Meghan to someone rather than be stuck waiting as Annie?
I think it's important to remember that friends don't always have to be the same age as us either. I used to overlook older and younger coworkers and regarded them more as acquaintances. But now one of my good friends is 10 years younger than me. She's also one of my husband's best friends. We've gone on double dates with her and her girlfriend, we've gone on vacations together, and we feed each other's pets when the other has to go out of town. It's more natural to have friends of different age groups when you're an adult. When you're a kid people who are even just a few years older or younger than yourself are on a whole different level, maturity wise. But when you're an adult it works.
So many people think that making friends as an adult is the same as making friends as a kid; that if it's right, it'll happen without any effort on either side's part. So much of friendship is just showing up - and as an adult, you have to make a conscious effort to do so, all the time. Extend invitations, say yes to things, just be there for the people in your life - these relationships are like plants, they need consistent care to grow and flourish. Great video as always, guys!
that is so true. relationships can fall apart like a house of cards after school or college, just because you're not in the same space anymore and there's a lot more effort to be exerted. Forces you think about what you actually value in that person, how they treat you, and how you make each other feel
I really like your take. I've noticed, as I've gotten older, that just a little bit of effort in a relationship can go a long way. Checking in occasionally, getting coffee when someone's in town, doing a brief phone call when you can... as long as you can make the effort to show you care, you can sustain a relationship. It's easy to forget the effort part, I guess.
That's true. It becomes harder as you get older to find friends, rather than simply being in the same class, or liking the same things. It's the little things which really count, just showing that you support your friends, and that you'll be there for them if they need help.
Absolutely. But now it’s easier to stay in touch- a text, email, personal messages through twitter, Facebook and of course calling. People don’t even make a text effort. We are not that busy. It’s also better to retain friendships if you spent a lot of time together outside of where you see each other everyday (work, school, church, social groups) because you are already making the effort to meet up.
@@Gunngirl some friendships are really not working in text. Some my friends are eager to meet, and every time we spend time together, even if it's just once in a year, we're really enjoying it. However, whenever I text them or send meme etc., conversation stops as soon as I stop texting. I think, it's fine, not all people enjoy sharing their experiences through texting. On the other hand, I have a friend I'm texting to for 7 years, and we always have more meaningful and interesting conversations online. I even stopped to suggest offline meetings, because that friend is kinda shut in and introvert, and it's so hard to get him go out. People are different, and friendships are different! (Off the point, at was terrible at making friends during childhood, but I see no problem to find friends now or to keep old friendships, lol)
I know this was aimed more at women than men, but as a guy... I can’t tell you how much I needed this right now. Thank you. Liked, saved to playlist, and subscribed. Again, thank you.
I can relate to this. I no longer have friends. I just have associates and old friends that I’m not close with from my past. It’s so hard to make friends as an adult and I’m tired of being the only one to make the effort to reach out to people while they don’t bother to reach out to me. I learned the hard way that people don’t care about you and sometimes they will pretend to be your friend to get what they want from you or only talk to you when they are bored.
This is exactly my same situation. My sister was my best friend and only sibling, after she passed I have no one, just associates. The friends I did have I struggle to get in touch with them and I’m always making the effort first. They are always happy to hear from me but never reach out first. Annie was extreme but I got why she lost it.
Facts but businesses like that purposely target women who are vulnerable and lonely by making it out to seem that it’s more than a job and you gain a whole network of support & build friendships. Unfortunately it’s nothing but manipulation and a false sense of belonging and empty your pockets while doing so. I’ve seen this happen to so many people and tried one myself until I realize it was bull crap and started my own business after that.
I also think Megan is a role model for what she said about “I studied really hard, read every book in the library”. It’s a pretty conventional message for kids but it’s surprising to hear something so wholesome in grown-up films
I met my bestfriend in Primary school. We live on two different continents now we we still support each other. Even our mother's are still friends. It's a balance of nostalgia and just helping each other grow up.
bruh i hate all my classmates in high school because I saw them all the time. I still had friends at that time tho but they all came from different classes and we hung out together during the lunchbreak, when the school finished each day or at the mall on the weekends. those were the days.
I took this girl under my wing from work, she felt lonely and left out. I have a family on top of my other responsibilities. She had nothing going on, quit her job, and demanded my full attention. I was her therapist essentially, she never even asked “how are you?”. I called her out and asked “how do you think adult friendships work? We aren’t in high school, I can’t be there for you to vent 24/7, i need a mutual relationship-not one sided. I’m drained. I’d love to be your friend but you have to treat me like one”. She went to Facebook and cried “NO ONE LIKES ME, I have NO friends”. I realized having adult friendships isn’t hard, you just both have to be mentally adult enough for it.
Absolutely! The hard part is FINDING people--but actually maintaining a healthy friendship with someone doesn't need to be hard. It's just that there are SO MANY people don't have those skills, in their platonic OR romantic relationships, which is really sad
This is so true. Especially the part about female relationships on screen. I hate how media always portrays women as catty and mean to each other. I’ve heard so many men talk about how terrible female friendships are and it makes me so mad because they’re getting all their information from TV. Our relationships can be so deep and meaningful, of course we get annoyed and even fight sometimes! It’s a relationship! A real one! And assumptions made from negative portrayals of women completely distort that.
I hate the 'girl power' attitude to friendship with women having generic friends who could be friends with anyone as they all do the same things and have the same interests. They are interchangeable. You're supposed to have a girls' night out getting drunk in bars and night clubs, a girls' night in listening to rubbish music and talking about men and a girls' holiday on the beach getting drunk. Forget that. I grew out of that when I left my teens.
@@lemsip207 I dunnoh I think just drunken people do that and people who have too much money to waste. I don't do that with any of my female friends, we usually just hsng out one on one, not sure how doing group activities is "girl power"???
This role is Melissa McCarthy at her comedic best. I really need to go back and watch it! Also super happy to hear that I’m not the only one having trouble making friends as an adult. Shit’s hard 😅
me too. they always end up being just associates or just acquaintances. I have never called anyone friends in college and right now I'm a senior and I'm alone. XD and it only lasts a year before I and they become strangers once again.
another way to make friends when we are adults, is to do some social activities, but you still need enough time out of work. Beside of that, I agree with you about the underrepresentation of real friendship between women, especially in comparison to men (we even created a new word «bromance» to call exclusively some deep male friendships) and the fact that they are often represented as superficial or fake, hiding animosity and rivalry, this cliché according to which real friendship between women (or even sorority) rarely exists, or at least is never as deep as the one between men is not only toxic but sexist, implying that women are superficial, selfish, inconstant persons who act by self-interest
You hit the nail on the head. I've always noticed this. I recently watched a review on this new film in which the main characters, both female, grow close and come to rely each other as one of them prepares to marry a man she doesn't love (it takes place in the 18th cen.). I looked it up and, of course, their relationship becomes sexual! Why? Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for movies like 'Blue is the Warmest Color' and so on, but female peers are usually portrayed as either rivals or lovers, not real friends!
@@QuietlyCurious If you don't mind me asking, which movie are you referring to? I feel like, from how you described it, that I've seen it before but I just can't place the name.
Yes! And it’s ironic considering the vast majority of the male friendships I witness are just them hanging out and never actually dealing with anything real together so of course they never fight. You have to be close with someone to fight with them!
Men love being able to point out their superiority using stereotypes about women treating each other like shit. That’s why they like when girls say things like “I don’t like other females” because they’re confirming their own idea that men are better than women. Like it’s some great honor to be told that you’re not like other women.
It feels so isolating when you realise you didn't really have much friends as a kid/teen and then also as an adult you don't have many friends. Alone all my life I guess
I was a tenured professor of English Communication at a Japanese Women's College, (Jissen), and it was only after I resigned that I first saw Bridesmaids. Not only did I laugh my ass off at some of the best comedic writing and acting I had seen in years, but I thought this is exactly what would make great material for a Comparative Culture class. But because of the nature of institutionalized education, would never happen, particularly in Japan Inc. The stress of compliance to the authoritarian Japanese work culture, conformity to overlapping and sometimes contradictory cultural norms, and the marginalization of women, along with agism, mixed messages about including the handicapped, aged, and ethnic minorities into the community ... all lead to a perfect storm potential of mental health issues that are not addressed by either the medical, educational, or religious institutions of Japan. An analysis and group discussions of this comedy would have been a god-send for many of those young women - and teachers as well.
I'm 32 and I haven't had a friend since highschool but recently I've realized that is my own doing because whenever I go somewhere I sit by myself and play on my phone no one is going to just randomly approach me I have to make an effort to talk to people maybe by taking a more active approach I can make some new friends.
I can definitely relate. After having several blowups with childhood friends who turned out to be bad friends I went through a number of years with no friendships. I guess I needed that time to find out how to make friends with people of good character. It can take a very long time to build true friendships in adulthood but once you do, they tend to be friends for life.
This video is very relevant. As a young adult, I've already experienced how difficult it is to make a new female friend, who really cares about you and wants to see you, to the point that I counted a new friendship as one of my accomplishments of last year. With adulthood, it is difficult to make time for someone, and most won't bother. They just want to get updates about your life without being a part of it. There is such a difference between sharing your life and sharing about your life. It is sad, especially since I don't feel comfortable with making friends at work.
I've been dealing with this problem myself ever since I moved to a new state when I was 16 (28 now). I've honestly hadn't had any friends (as in people you see regularly and do things with) ever since that move so I totally get it, it really is tough to deal with.
We're on the same boat! But hey, sometimes you have to meet 100 people just to connect with one. I've been struggling to make friends but I've also been meeting someone who looks very promising recently. That one bound - even though it's not very intimate yet - makes up for the all "lost cases". I hope you find ways to meet new people and never lose your sense of empathy, we all struggle with this so it's very brave of you to recognize and admit it :)
@@KaiDecadence hey, I know that feeling too, I moved to a bigger city a year ago and I've been struggling to make bounds even though I meet a lot of people. So I understand you and I hope things work better for you :)
Hey, if you're into Melissa McCarthy, can you do one about the "friend zone" in Spy? Susan's crush on Bradley is a great demonstration of why pining after a friend goes wrong.
I loved the line from Green Book when Mortenson's character says, "The world's full of lonely people afraid to make the first move.” and this is just like that.
A helpful tip for making friends as an adult: become a regular somewhere--anywhere! Go to a cafe once a week, join a pottery class, hell, you can even join a twitch stream or discord server. If you are consistently _there_ with the same people, you can mimic what it was like in school (being around the same people constantly/getting used to those people) and have an easier time finding new potential friends.
See if there's a Facebook group called Girls Gone International for your city! I moved abroad and met a lot of women through our local group, especially through the book club. And I never thought I would enjoy a book club.
It's true. I'm sick of the women I made friends with. We arranged to go somewhere and I ended up getting dragged into clothes shops on the way. They were ultra sensitive so I couldn't tell them anything but they nit picked at me all the time. If I wanted to go to an art exhibition or rock concert they didn't want to know. They gave crappy generic presents. The best thing to do with those is regift them.
@@lemsip207 yea its like you cant be picky when it comes to having friends. also it's just weird how one sided people tend to be which is normal to an extent
I'm very exhausted of putting an effort because most people, not sure if social media is to blame when people now have so many options, don't reciprocate. I've come to terms with going through life without making any new friends. The 2 friends I have I've maintained because I've known them since childhood, but even if I weren't to be friends with them, I don't think I'd have the energy to be disappointed again and again. Everyone wants to do things on their own terms instead of being committed and respectful of others' time and I'm over it . It's a weight off my shoulders feeling like I don't need or want new people.
I thought bridesmaids was a trashy movie, so I never watched it. But now I've watched "the takes" video essays on brides maids now I actually really wanna watch it.
Dana Davison that’s so sad. I’m glad you’re better now. I had a bad injury once and many people are just not that committed to the friendship but that’s okay, they have their own struggles and not everyone is equipped to deal with that kind of energy. There are always those few that stick by you though and I’ve always said “I don’t need a lot of friends, I just need one good one”.
I had a best friend of 15years who pretty much replaced me with a group of other friends she deemed better. She came back at a really hard point in my life and I just leaned back into our friendship, almost the way you would go back to an ex during a hard time...because it’s familiar. She made me realize friendships are like romantic relationships, we even talked about how we were gonna handle our problems differently than before and not give up on each other, but she ended up just avoiding all the hard issues and admitted to ignoring something when she didn’t want to deal with the problems, like our friendship. She has certainly given me ALOT of trust issues the way a really bad romantic relationship would. Even a year out from all the drama I still feel myself turning down friendships of ppl who seem interested, still can’t tell if that’s my gut feeling to stay away or just fear. When my husband sees me talk to another female and have deep conversations he always goes, “so can you see yourself being friends with her and spending time together,” and my answer is always “No, it’s just not the same....these ppl don’t know me the way my 15yr friendship did.” I have a couple of great females around me but this video made me realize I do have a picture of the friend I want, I’m comparing everyone to “Helen” instead of giving those ppl an honest chance by truly seeing who they are, instead of just focusing on how they don’t match up to what’s familiar and nostalgic
The same with me. I made friends in one place we lived but just as that was happening we moved house and the friends I made there I didn't have much in common with. They were either religious or following the sex, drugs and rock and roll lifestyle. They were 'will do for now' friends so I wasn't alone at school and therefore be a target for bullies. I had to join classes and organised social groups outside of school to follow my interests.
If you read between the lines of this vid, you notice that from Megan's perspective you 1) get roped into chilling with a bunch of people who want to be more glam than you 2) pay for the privilege 3) have to work like a dog to be seen by anyone as friend material 4) finally become elevated to the status of "someone to lean on". Yay? I would wager that if you have trouble connecting with people, you may well subconsciously be noticing that the friendship would be one-sided if you put forward the effort required to get in there. I would argue that this is truly the path that sucks.
I agree with the thesis of this video. I am not that old (41), meeting and talking to people is easy, however meaningful friendship takes work on both side. The narrator of this video hit the nail on the head.
I gave up on trying to be friends with people who fit my idealized version of a friendship- it's the least expected people that end up being there for you and respecting who you really are. I also learned that being too clingy or worrying about "watering the plant" is actually counterproductive- I have friends who live across the world and when we meet after years we continue as if there was no distance- no pressure or anxiety.
The “bromance” Movies rarely ever touch on real male emotional relationships with each other and exist almost exclusively as raunchy comedies. It’s very rarely explored in any complex way. If so many existed, this channel would have covered a few of them by now.
stand by me and it cover young man/boy/teen friendships but yea itd be great to see male friendships explored more. guys can also have "frenemies" I would think
5:09 “Two of the best reasons to become friends as an adult is because you need them or they need you” In the spirit of masculine energy, most men subconsciously don’t want to admit this to each other. This makes it especially difficult to get over the “vulnerability hump”, as I like to call it.
I feel like in the US especially, friendships for adults is legitimately not even seen as a priority. It's all about dating/marriage, family and career. Friendship is absolutely kicked to the curb, which really sucks
It's honestly close to impossible. You're only realistic shot is making friends at work, and even that is still really difficult. School is just structured for you to make several friends, the adult world is the exact opposite of that
Working in education means I have a zillion people to talk to because it's literally being back in school. I never realized how many hundreds of adults were in the building when I was a kid.
Bridesmaids is a beautiful and complex film. It's amazing they could fit so much character development and nuance in such an entertaining and event-driven story.
Videos like these well demonstrate how films like Bridesmaids and Mean Girls are genuinely compelling pieces of cinema, not just shallow 'chick flicks'.
I think we always need friends like Megan because this is the kind of person that’ll look out for you and also surprisingly amazing once you get to know them. I love Megan ! 💜
Oh God! I am pretty sure I have and will continue to be the Megan for most of my relationships. It's only after some soul searching and getting the support I need back I realised the OTT was un-diagnosed ADHD. It led to a lot of impulsive and directness people get uncomfortable about but also helping people work out who they actually love or quit awful jobs. This video has reminded me being this direct has helped my mates more than hurt them so basically thanks.
I was lucky enough to get into bar trivia and it's been super useful in making friends and meeting people as an adult. Good luck and don't give up, just keep being friendly to decent people and hopefully you'll stumble into some keepers.
I think the problem is everyone tries too hard to be too cool for school, not appearing in need of friends and never truly showing initiative to make friends. At least that’s my personal experience.
I have a megan, but we met in 3rd grade on the school bus, even then i remember meeting her and being put off by her crazy personality and i even tried to avoid her. She was insistint tho. Anyways, we're both 23 years old now and we live in different countries, i havnt seen her in about 5 years but we facetime and talk as if no time has gone by ❤ never judge a book by its cover guys!
I had several friends when I graduated high school. Over time that number plummeted. There were never any fights or fallouts, just life happening. Some moved away and just gradually fell out of contact because they got busy with life, and so did I. A couple have since passed away. One got really into drugs and stopped talking to anyone who isn't involved with drugs. The one person that I still talk to occasionally lives in Alaska (I live in Wisconsin). The number of friends I've made as an adult 3, and I don't stay in touch with 2 of them. One cheated on her husband, got into legal trouble, and fled the state. The other, it turns out, was just using me to try to access prescription narcotics. I had a medical condition at that time that required serious pain management with opioid medications. I'm in remission now for several years and no longer need them, thank goodness. I thought this woman was a kind and caring person until I uncovered her scheme. She was also trying to scam meds out of a coworker who had just had surgery, and her own grandmother. Maybe I'm just a bad judge of character 🤷♀️
my best friend in high school was a self righteous catholic girl named mary. when my mom kicked me out of the house for not going to bed at 11 pm on a friday, she wasn't the one who was there for me. actually, she actively blew me off every time i needed her as more than a classmate. when she got married and i didn't even receive an invite, i wasn't even disappointed. i saw it coming years ago. got no ill intent towards her but now i realize where my real friends lie.
as a friendless adult, this is the video i didnt know i needed to watch! i have no clue where to start or how to make friends..but this gave me an idea. ive been thinking about doing martial arts for a while now, hope itll help me socialize lol but what ive noticed so far from college "friends" is that mostly, they dont make any effort at all into trying to mantain contact. they dont message you, ask you out...if you dont say hi every once in a while, you may be forgotten soon. its sad. it feels like "i dont care if something comes out from it, i dont care if it doesnt".... but i guess i have to take everyting at face level from now on. a chat is just a chat. a meet up is just a meet up. gotta lower expectations.
i only discovered this channel a while ago, but i already love it so much. the analytics are deep and interesting, normally i would get bored after five minutes but this time i can watch the full video without getting distracted. and the voice actor has such a soft voice thats nice to listen to, too
It's strange that there are 8 billion people in the world but so many are lonely. I think it's mostly because of the internet. So many people feel content with keeping in touch online and that's enough. Maybe text, never face to face interaction. I know why, it's because it takes effort and we are like those little fat dudes in Wall-E, just flying around with our Big Gulps. Everything that is worth something is hard to obtain... I speak from experience because I am super lazy about relationships. I have been treated like crap from people I love too many times and I guess I am jaded. I just want to hang out with my husband and our daughter and not have people in my space. But this is me as a 39 year old stay at home mom. I feel like it's a luxury not to have friends. Like I paid my dos and I can live how I want to live without people's constant stress. My house is so chill, my space is serene, no chaos exists here. It wasn't always like that. When I was young, I had a million friends, was a social butterfly, I sought people out, actually physically walk to someone'e house and knock on the door and see if they are home. We had to because the internet didn't exist. I went to concerts and house parties, raves, danced constantly. I took it for granted then but now that I look back, I am grateful I got to experience that. Having a giant group of good friends to spend time with every day. It's a rare thing and it was a huge portion of my life. Now I am glad to get time to myself and dictate how I spend it. I find myself becoming more and more introverted and it feels lush to be honest. I guess sometimes I get nostalgic and miss my old friends but it's better to keep those awesome memories in the past, it's not the same anymore, we had to grow up and have families and live life and that's ok. Meeting new people is impossible if people are not forced to spend time together like going to school, working, etc. I do none of those things so friends are not in the cards for me and it's a relief to be honest.
This was interesting -- i must say though that it doesn't take 90 hours to make a friend out of a stranger. It can happen with one moment of eye contact. Or letting yourself be real & maybe a bit vulnerable right up front. Our culture is so afraid of this authenticity, we're so afraid of getting hurt. But we WILL get hurt, there's no avoiding it. It's so very, very worth the risk, though! :-) It also helps if we stop playing the "adult" role and make friends like kids do -- spontaneously, with curiosity and openness and a lot of playfulness. And laughing!
I don't have any close friends, but when a person I find interesting decides they want to spend time with me in an intimate environment during some culture event like going to the theater or just eating out together, dedicate their time of day to spend with me, that warms my heart and I love the conversations we have with these people, they are so different and interesting to watch. I'm usually not the one to invite someone anywhere though because I assume they would decline or it would be awkward if they only agreed of politeness... making friends is hard in general, depends on what one considers a "friend" I guess - to me it's someone whose phone number you have and regularly meet up with, but I find those little connections also important
I really needed this wow it is hard asf making friendships as an adult especially when its already difficult to leav3 the house let alone talk to new people without support. I think ima rewatch bridesmaids its been so long
I just really wonder on what planet you would find a friend who actually cares as much as Megan. She seems like such a figment of fantasy and good writing.
Boot Scoot Those people genuinely exist. You just have to build a relationship with that type of person for them to reveal their Megan like behavior. Not every Megan is going to be obvious.
Lmao, that would mean you'd have to hang out with a stranger literally every other weekend within a year to meet that quota. if the 90 hour thing is scientifically accurate, it's no wonder so many people find it impossible to make friends as an adult, I honestly wouldn't have the time to do that with my best friend
This video almost made me cry! My name is Megan and I am kind of a black sheep. I’m at an age where a lot of my closest friends from decades of friendship are starting families and moving in a different direction than me. I have been trying to cling to those friendships but I realize I have to start making new friends who share my values and are moving on a similar path to me. This video made me feel seen. Thank you!
Ninety hours? How do you persuade a total stranger to let you follow them around for 90 hours until they decide in fact they like you being there? I can't play sports as i have bad knees and i don't drink.
It is like you are talking to me. Like I already knew it, that I don`t have to be scared to look strange or awkward, because it is me and I can not be another person, but I needed someone to say it. And I never knew, that I couldn`t watch this film second time, because I saw myself in Annie and Megan(and my friends in Lilly and Helen) and I denied it. But now I understood, that I`m ok. I always thought, that this film is just a cliche comedy, but there is actually a solution to my problem. Your movie analysis are so deep, yet helpful. Thank you, guys!
The problem with making friends as an adult is that most of the people you interact to are from work, and I never considerate them as friends, in work everyone are trying to get their asses safe all of the time, so they don't have any problem in throwing people under the bus, there is no trust. Also guys, if you can, you should definetely make a video about Sierra Burgess and Veronica, how different they are.
Haven’t watched the movie but now I wannaaaa, also Leslie and Anne are friendship goals I love them, I feel like the best friendships are when you’re not scared to be childish together, like have that genuine connection like you do in teen years or something, if the friendship spark is there you’ll probably manage to have time for them, and even if there’s still no time, you might meet those real type of friends even once every few months and still not feel like you’ve grown apart
Your great thorough analyses of Bridesmaids and its characters are really changing my opinion of the movie, from being an okay entertaining flick to something profoundly deep and LaYeReD.
@Dana Davison Wow, I'm so sorry that you had to go through something so horrible, and then to have your friends disappear in such difficult times... I hope and presume that you overcame it I didn't mean that the movie is bad or anything, I quite like it - I just didn't realise exactly what makes me like it (apart from the humour obviously), until I watched this analysis.
I’m very lucky to having a few friends I’ve had since childhood and my teens but after college it feels like I’m drifting from the friends I made in college because of careers and being across the country :( being in a new city feels so lonely
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By the end of the movie, Megan was by far my favorite character. Not just because she’s hilarious, but she’s completely comfortable in her own skin. That’s confidence goals.
Agreed, while Megan isn't the skinniest woman in the movie, she's by far the least insecure, and the most happiest and down to earth as a result. Annie is enraged because of Helen swooping in on Lillian, Lillian is too caught up by Helen's swanky lifestyle, Helen is trying to overcompensate by flaunting her wealth to mask her loneliness, and Rita and Becca are so bored with their affluent lifestyles that they end up drunkenly making out with each other.
@Mo'mina Makin They're certainly out there.
Agreed. I love Megan - she's great.
Trina Q physically, she doesn’t bloat
My psychologist told me that bring sexy means being comfortable in your own skin
Megan has always struck me as the most genuine person in "Bridesmaids". She sees things EXACTLY as they are, and doesn't pretend to be something she's not. While most of the other women act passive aggressive to each other, and try to present a perfect facade, Megan forces Annie to see the cold hard truth, and forces her to literally "fight for her life". Megan may be a little coarse, boyish and unconventional, in contrast to the more feminine, stylish Helen, but she's unashamedly herself. Melissa McCarthy definitely stole the show with her supporting performance. Megan is the friend that we all need!
@Kays Dash Haaaa
like honestly what is wrong with being boyish and unconventional
@@rishaa682 exactly
Well Helen and Annie were the only passivr aggressive ones. Their blonde friend with three kids was very authentic. So was Becca.
@@michaeljalecolacson4818 Authentic sure bur she seemed miserable which is what made her situation scary lol
i think when you truly realize that everyone else is lonely and looking for connection, making friends becomes a little easier
Jasmine M But you don’t want someone desperate. They might use you as a therapist instead of being a friend
I dont think so. A big part of adult friendships is not only CHOOSING to make and spend time with this new person in your life that youre not entirely sure is worth the effort at all, but they have to choose YOU as well. Friendships dont work unless both people are willing to commit on similar levels and that takes a lot of work on both parts to make it happen. I dont think knowing others are in the same boat as you makes it easier to make friends. Looking at someone else's wounds wont heal your own and let's be honest, if you dont have that immediate "click" or chemistry with someone, you or they will stop putting in the effort very quickly no matter how lonely the both of you are. Because even when were lonely, we all still have standards. And when those standards arent being met very quickly, effort and further interest goes out the window really fast.
@@elleofhearts8471 of course, I just meant in the sense that you're less afraid of bothering people by approaching them in the first place
Actually not really. Everyone around me already has their family and friend group.
This makes it harder because of the fear of disappointing someone.
This made me feel weird about not having any friends as an adult, because maybe a million Meghan’s have approached me but I’m always looking for a Helen to save me.
Nora Nora
Well, the important thing is that you’re aware of it now right? And hey, why not be your own Meghan to someone rather than be stuck waiting as Annie?
Omg girl same
I felt this !!!!
That's some deep truth right there
I think it's important to remember that friends don't always have to be the same age as us either. I used to overlook older and younger coworkers and regarded them more as acquaintances. But now one of my good friends is 10 years younger than me. She's also one of my husband's best friends. We've gone on double dates with her and her girlfriend, we've gone on vacations together, and we feed each other's pets when the other has to go out of town. It's more natural to have friends of different age groups when you're an adult. When you're a kid people who are even just a few years older or younger than yourself are on a whole different level, maturity wise. But when you're an adult it works.
So many people think that making friends as an adult is the same as making friends as a kid; that if it's right, it'll happen without any effort on either side's part. So much of friendship is just showing up - and as an adult, you have to make a conscious effort to do so, all the time. Extend invitations, say yes to things, just be there for the people in your life - these relationships are like plants, they need consistent care to grow and flourish. Great video as always, guys!
that is so true. relationships can fall apart like a house of cards after school or college, just because you're not in the same space anymore and there's a lot more effort to be exerted. Forces you think about what you actually value in that person, how they treat you, and how you make each other feel
I really like your take. I've noticed, as I've gotten older, that just a little bit of effort in a relationship can go a long way. Checking in occasionally, getting coffee when someone's in town, doing a brief phone call when you can... as long as you can make the effort to show you care, you can sustain a relationship. It's easy to forget the effort part, I guess.
That's true. It becomes harder as you get older to find friends, rather than simply being in the same class, or liking the same things. It's the little things which really count, just showing that you support your friends, and that you'll be there for them if they need help.
Absolutely. But now it’s easier to stay in touch- a text, email, personal messages through twitter, Facebook and of course calling. People don’t even make a text effort. We are not that busy. It’s also better to retain friendships if you spent a lot of time together outside of where you see each other everyday (work, school, church, social groups) because you are already making the effort to meet up.
@@Gunngirl some friendships are really not working in text. Some my friends are eager to meet, and every time we spend time together, even if it's just once in a year, we're really enjoying it. However, whenever I text them or send meme etc., conversation stops as soon as I stop texting. I think, it's fine, not all people enjoy sharing their experiences through texting.
On the other hand, I have a friend I'm texting to for 7 years, and we always have more meaningful and interesting conversations online. I even stopped to suggest offline meetings, because that friend is kinda shut in and introvert, and it's so hard to get him go out. People are different, and friendships are different!
(Off the point, at was terrible at making friends during childhood, but I see no problem to find friends now or to keep old friendships, lol)
Megan adopting the horde of dogs is my spirit animal
Less adopting, more stole lol
Surprise adoption
I took *n i n e*
I envy her for having lots of dogs
me: *has never watched bridesmaids*
also me: *clicks on this video as quick as humanly possible*
Likewise, their recent "Bridesmaids" series have convinced me to watch the movie more now, after having only seen it once.
@@trinaq that's how I watch my movies now. Analysis first then the actual movie
the movie is good, I just regret that their trip to Vegas is off screen
watch bridesmaids
alice I ..... This channel really is that good! 👍
Every time some elite snob says that Bridesmaids Oscar nominations were a joke, I politely guide them to your videos :)
I think it is pretty damn good!
I know this was aimed more at women than men, but as a guy... I can’t tell you how much I needed this right now. Thank you. Liked, saved to playlist, and subscribed. Again, thank you.
I think it goes deeper than gender and goes straight to human interaction. I have met guys who expressed these concerns too.
I hope you find people who make you feel loved and make your life worthwhile
We're all people dude :) Hope you find friends/family worth your while!
I can relate to this. I no longer have friends. I just have associates and old friends that I’m not close with from my past. It’s so hard to make friends as an adult and I’m tired of being the only one to make the effort to reach out to people while they don’t bother to reach out to me. I learned the hard way that people don’t care about you and sometimes they will pretend to be your friend to get what they want from you or only talk to you when they are bored.
This is exactly my same situation. My sister was my best friend and only sibling, after she passed I have no one, just associates. The friends I did have I struggle to get in touch with them and I’m always making the effort first. They are always happy to hear from me but never reach out first. Annie was extreme but I got why she lost it.
Same
Ive been friendless for so long im scared idk how to be one at this point or how to tell if people want to be friends or im just bothering them 🤦🏽♀️
It's better to be alone than to be with people who make you feel alone. One-sided friendships are not worth it.
Man do I feel that.
PSA: Making friends as an adult is not done by joining an MLM
Amanda McQueen exactly!!!
This needs to be the top comment, the exploitation of lonely people in that way is absolutely disgusting
@0908 multi level marketing
Facts but businesses like that purposely target women who are vulnerable and lonely by making it out to seem that it’s more than a job and you gain a whole network of support & build friendships. Unfortunately it’s nothing but manipulation and a false sense of belonging and empty your pockets while doing so. I’ve seen this happen to so many people and tried one myself until I realize it was bull crap and started my own business after that.
@@tonyjohnson5669 is that the same as a pyramid scheme? Asking for a friend
I also think Megan is a role model for what she said about “I studied really hard, read every book in the library”. It’s a pretty conventional message for kids but it’s surprising to hear something so wholesome in grown-up films
I would like to point out that we were only friends with the people in high school because we saw them all the time.
Proximity and regularity.
I saw a lot of ppl all the time...didn’t make us friends but that’s partly true.
I met my bestfriend in Primary school. We live on two different continents now we we still support each other. Even our mother's are still friends. It's a balance of nostalgia and just helping each other grow up.
Then you have to make the effort to keep in contact with them when you leave school.
bruh i hate all my classmates in high school because I saw them all the time. I still had friends at that time tho but they all came from different classes and we hung out together during the lunchbreak, when the school finished each day or at the mall on the weekends. those were the days.
I took this girl under my wing from work, she felt lonely and left out. I have a family on top of my other responsibilities. She had nothing going on, quit her job, and demanded my full attention. I was her therapist essentially, she never even asked “how are you?”. I called her out and asked “how do you think adult friendships work? We aren’t in high school, I can’t be there for you to vent 24/7, i need a mutual relationship-not one sided. I’m drained. I’d love to be your friend but you have to treat me like one”. She went to Facebook and cried “NO ONE LIKES ME, I have NO friends”. I realized having adult friendships isn’t hard, you just both have to be mentally adult enough for it.
Absolutely! The hard part is FINDING people--but actually maintaining a healthy friendship with someone doesn't need to be hard. It's just that there are SO MANY people don't have those skills, in their platonic OR romantic relationships, which is really sad
This is so true. Especially the part about female relationships on screen. I hate how media always portrays women as catty and mean to each other. I’ve heard so many men talk about how terrible female friendships are and it makes me so mad because they’re getting all their information from TV. Our relationships can be so deep and meaningful, of course we get annoyed and even fight sometimes! It’s a relationship! A real one! And assumptions made from negative portrayals of women completely distort that.
I hate the 'girl power' attitude to friendship with women having generic friends who could be friends with anyone as they all do the same things and have the same interests. They are interchangeable. You're supposed to have a girls' night out getting drunk in bars and night clubs, a girls' night in listening to rubbish music and talking about men and a girls' holiday on the beach getting drunk. Forget that. I grew out of that when I left my teens.
@@lemsip207 I dunnoh I think just drunken people do that and people who have too much money to waste. I don't do that with any of my female friends, we usually just hsng out one on one, not sure how doing group activities is "girl power"???
This role is Melissa McCarthy at her comedic best. I really need to go back and watch it! Also super happy to hear that I’m not the only one having trouble making friends as an adult. Shit’s hard 😅
Megan was the funniest one. She killed it in every scene she was in.
Thanks
I totally concur. Every scene with Megan was an absolute riot, and Melissa McCarthy definitely deserved her Oscar nomination!
Trina Q absolutely.
this video is so necessary for my life right now.....being 22, it's so hard to make and keep new friends.
I feel that
I feel you my dude.
I'm 18 but I feel this, mostly because i have trouble bonding with people
me too. they always end up being just associates or just acquaintances. I have never called anyone friends in college and right now I'm a senior and I'm alone. XD and it only lasts a year before I and they become strangers once again.
another way to make friends when we are adults, is to do some social activities, but you still need enough time out of work.
Beside of that, I agree with you about the underrepresentation of real friendship between women, especially in comparison to men (we even created a new word «bromance» to call exclusively some deep male friendships) and the fact that they are often represented as superficial or fake, hiding animosity and rivalry, this cliché according to which real friendship between women (or even sorority) rarely exists, or at least is never as deep as the one between men is not only toxic but sexist, implying that women are superficial, selfish, inconstant persons who act by self-interest
You hit the nail on the head. I've always noticed this. I recently watched a review on this new film in which the main characters, both female, grow close and come to rely each other as one of them prepares to marry a man she doesn't love (it takes place in the 18th cen.). I looked it up and, of course, their relationship becomes sexual! Why? Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for movies like 'Blue is the Warmest Color' and so on, but female peers are usually portrayed as either rivals or lovers, not real friends!
@@QuietlyCurious If you don't mind me asking, which movie are you referring to? I feel like, from how you described it, that I've seen it before but I just can't place the name.
Yes! And it’s ironic considering the vast majority of the male friendships I witness are just them hanging out and never actually dealing with anything real together so of course they never fight. You have to be close with someone to fight with them!
Men love being able to point out their superiority using stereotypes about women treating each other like shit. That’s why they like when girls say things like “I don’t like other females” because they’re confirming their own idea that men are better than women. Like it’s some great honor to be told that you’re not like other women.
@@sadtitties222 *SPOILER*: 'Portrait of a Lady on Fire'
It feels so isolating when you realise you didn't really have much friends as a kid/teen and then also as an adult you don't have many friends. Alone all my life I guess
Isolated alone but comfortable in your own skin > Isolated surrounded by folks you need to fake it for
I was a tenured professor of English Communication at a Japanese Women's College, (Jissen), and it was only after I resigned that I first saw Bridesmaids. Not only did I laugh my ass off at some of the best comedic writing and acting I had seen in years, but I thought this is exactly what would make great material for a Comparative Culture class. But because of the nature of institutionalized education, would never happen, particularly in Japan Inc.
The stress of compliance to the authoritarian Japanese work culture, conformity to overlapping and sometimes contradictory cultural norms, and the marginalization of women, along with agism, mixed messages about including the handicapped, aged, and ethnic minorities into the community ... all lead to a perfect storm potential of mental health issues that are not addressed by either the medical, educational, or religious institutions of Japan.
An analysis and group discussions of this comedy would have been a god-send for many of those young women - and teachers as well.
I'm 32 and I haven't had a friend since highschool but recently I've realized that is my own doing because whenever I go somewhere I sit by myself and play on my phone no one is going to just randomly approach me I have to make an effort to talk to people maybe by taking a more active approach I can make some new friends.
Super unsolicited: true genuine compliments have helped me get friends alot. Compliments which aren't just about looks are even better.
I really hope you find quality people out there.
Happy day!!
Taking note.
I can definitely relate. After having several blowups with childhood friends who turned out to be bad friends I went through a number of years with no friendships. I guess I needed that time to find out how to make friends with people of good character. It can take a very long time to build true friendships in adulthood but once you do, they tend to be friends for life.
Some people you think of fondly others you wonder why you ever associated with them but friendships teach you things about yourself and others
This video is very relevant. As a young adult, I've already experienced how difficult it is to make a new female friend, who really cares about you and wants to see you, to the point that I counted a new friendship as one of my accomplishments of last year. With adulthood, it is difficult to make time for someone, and most won't bother. They just want to get updates about your life without being a part of it. There is such a difference between sharing your life and sharing about your life. It is sad, especially since I don't feel comfortable with making friends at work.
Wow so many good points in your post. Hope your feeling comphy and making friends
This topic is so relevant to me right now. I've recently discovered how tough it is to make friends as an adult and it's been... Tough to deal with.
I've been dealing with this problem myself ever since I moved to a new state when I was 16 (28 now). I've honestly hadn't had any friends (as in people you see regularly and do things with) ever since that move so I totally get it, it really is tough to deal with.
@@KaiDecadence I hope you find some good people who love you and appreciate you.
@@salemsaberhagen1570 Thank you, same to you :)
We're on the same boat! But hey, sometimes you have to meet 100 people just to connect with one. I've been struggling to make friends but I've also been meeting someone who looks very promising recently. That one bound - even though it's not very intimate yet - makes up for the all "lost cases".
I hope you find ways to meet new people and never lose your sense of empathy, we all struggle with this so it's very brave of you to recognize and admit it :)
@@KaiDecadence hey, I know that feeling too, I moved to a bigger city a year ago and I've been struggling to make bounds even though I meet a lot of people. So I understand you and I hope things work better for you :)
Hey, if you're into Melissa McCarthy, can you do one about the "friend zone" in Spy? Susan's crush on Bradley is a great demonstration of why pining after a friend goes wrong.
I admire you. 😊
All the while her character is bonding with Miranda Hart's character, which overshadows Bradley at the end. I love that movie.
@@hungryhungryhippocampus7889 And then hooks up with Rick, who's less conventionally handsome, but way better suited for her.
Urgh love that movie.
That movie was such a good surprise, I thought it was going to be another silly movie and ended it up having a lot of fun.
At 5:15 when you aligned the word "push" with Megan pushing Annie was masterful editing
I've only been out of high school 4 years and I can confirm. I missed they days when who ever you had the most classes with was your best friend.
I loved the line from Green Book when Mortenson's character says, "The world's full of lonely people afraid to make the first move.” and this is just like that.
A helpful tip for making friends as an adult: become a regular somewhere--anywhere! Go to a cafe once a week, join a pottery class, hell, you can even join a twitch stream or discord server. If you are consistently _there_ with the same people, you can mimic what it was like in school (being around the same people constantly/getting used to those people) and have an easier time finding new potential friends.
It feels impossible to make new female friends.
Lol felt like for almost 20 years it’s better off not trying and just live your life
See if there's a Facebook group called Girls Gone International for your city! I moved abroad and met a lot of women through our local group, especially through the book club. And I never thought I would enjoy a book club.
It's true. I'm sick of the women I made friends with. We arranged to go somewhere and I ended up getting dragged into clothes shops on the way. They were ultra sensitive so I couldn't tell them anything but they nit picked at me all the time. If I wanted to go to an art exhibition or rock concert they didn't want to know. They gave crappy generic presents. The best thing to do with those is regift them.
@@lemsip207 yea its like you cant be picky when it comes to having friends. also it's just weird how one sided people tend to be which is normal to an extent
This is such a beautiful analysis. I struggled with this problem and this touched a chord.
I'm very exhausted of putting an effort because most people, not sure if social media is to blame when people now have so many options, don't reciprocate. I've come to terms with going through life without making any new friends. The 2 friends I have I've maintained because I've known them since childhood, but even if I weren't to be friends with them, I don't think I'd have the energy to be disappointed again and again. Everyone wants to do things on their own terms instead of being committed and respectful of others' time and I'm over it . It's a weight off my shoulders feeling like I don't need or want new people.
"I'm not gonna say I survived. I'm gonna say I thrived." -Megan
What a powerful line✊
I thought bridesmaids was a trashy movie, so I never watched it. But now I've watched "the takes" video essays on brides maids now I actually really wanna watch it.
Me too
I love my friends so much, I get so sad at the thought of not seeing them. But I'll cherish any and all time we have together while we have it
Dana Davison that’s so sad. I’m glad you’re better now. I had a bad injury once and many people are just not that committed to the friendship but that’s okay, they have their own struggles and not everyone is equipped to deal with that kind of energy. There are always those few that stick by you though and I’ve always said “I don’t need a lot of friends, I just need one good one”.
I had a best friend of 15years who pretty much replaced me with a group of other friends she deemed better. She came back at a really hard point in my life and I just leaned back into our friendship, almost the way you would go back to an ex during a hard time...because it’s familiar. She made me realize friendships are like romantic relationships, we even talked about how we were gonna handle our problems differently than before and not give up on each other, but she ended up just avoiding all the hard issues and admitted to ignoring something when she didn’t want to deal with the problems, like our friendship. She has certainly given me ALOT of trust issues the way a really bad romantic relationship would. Even a year out from all the drama I still feel myself turning down friendships of ppl who seem interested, still can’t tell if that’s my gut feeling to stay away or just fear. When my husband sees me talk to another female and have deep conversations he always goes, “so can you see yourself being friends with her and spending time together,” and my answer is always “No, it’s just not the same....these ppl don’t know me the way my 15yr friendship did.” I have a couple of great females around me but this video made me realize I do have a picture of the friend I want, I’m comparing everyone to “Helen” instead of giving those ppl an honest chance by truly seeing who they are, instead of just focusing on how they don’t match up to what’s familiar and nostalgic
Sucks having no friends as an adult even as a kid I always had a hard time making connections with others and making friends.
The same with me. I made friends in one place we lived but just as that was happening we moved house and the friends I made there I didn't have much in common with. They were either religious or following the sex, drugs and rock and roll lifestyle. They were 'will do for now' friends so I wasn't alone at school and therefore be a target for bullies. I had to join classes and organised social groups outside of school to follow my interests.
Same it’s ok I have better conversations with myself anyway
If you read between the lines of this vid, you notice that from Megan's perspective you 1) get roped into chilling with a bunch of people who want to be more glam than you 2) pay for the privilege 3) have to work like a dog to be seen by anyone as friend material 4) finally become elevated to the status of "someone to lean on". Yay?
I would wager that if you have trouble connecting with people, you may well subconsciously be noticing that the friendship would be one-sided if you put forward the effort required to get in there. I would argue that this is truly the path that sucks.
I agree with the thesis of this video. I am not that old (41), meeting and talking to people is easy, however meaningful friendship takes work on both side. The narrator of this video hit the nail on the head.
I gave up on trying to be friends with people who fit my idealized version of a friendship- it's the least expected people that end up being there for you and respecting who you really are. I also learned that being too clingy or worrying about "watering the plant" is actually counterproductive- I have friends who live across the world and when we meet after years we continue as if there was no distance- no pressure or anxiety.
The “bromance” Movies rarely ever touch on real male emotional relationships with each other and exist almost exclusively as raunchy comedies. It’s very rarely explored in any complex way. If so many existed, this channel would have covered a few of them by now.
stand by me and it cover young man/boy/teen friendships but yea itd be great to see male friendships explored more. guys can also have "frenemies" I would think
Watch Peep Show.
It has Richie and Eddie's friendship. it shows all the boys' friendships. also Stand By Me and The Goonies shows young male/teen boy friendships.
Justin and Clay in thirteen reasons why have that kind of friendship development in the show.
5:09 “Two of the best reasons to become friends as an adult is because you need them or they need you”
In the spirit of masculine energy, most men subconsciously don’t want to admit this to each other. This makes it especially difficult to get over the “vulnerability hump”, as I like to call it.
Take: Why It's Hard to Make Adult Friends
Me: Thank God
lol
Friends are undervalued in relation to family, jobs and a domestic life, which is a shame.
I feel like in the US especially, friendships for adults is legitimately not even seen as a priority. It's all about dating/marriage, family and career. Friendship is absolutely kicked to the curb, which really sucks
@@forman208 Indeed. I'd argue that it's even a dangerous culture when it comes to mental health.
This was really good. It helps explain why I can't make new friends at 30 in a new city! I need a friend like Meghan!
I've given up making friends in adulthood. It's just disappointment after disappointment.
It's honestly close to impossible. You're only realistic shot is making friends at work, and even that is still really difficult. School is just structured for you to make several friends, the adult world is the exact opposite of that
Working in education means I have a zillion people to talk to because it's literally being back in school. I never realized how many hundreds of adults were in the building when I was a kid.
"U feel that steam heat coming, that's from my undercarriage." - Megan
Megan: Saying what we're all to afraid to since 2011!
TheRapper10000 yeah it’s almost like this is a comedic movie
@@quirkypurple3 yup almost🤣😂
Bridesmaids is a beautiful and complex film. It's amazing they could fit so much character development and nuance in such an entertaining and event-driven story.
Videos like these well demonstrate how films like Bridesmaids and Mean Girls are genuinely compelling pieces of cinema, not just shallow 'chick flicks'.
cannot get over the fact that they used the picture of megan crapping in a sink the whole video
Leslie and Ann, and Meredith and Christina are friendship goals
I think we always need friends like Megan because this is the kind of person that’ll look out for you and also surprisingly amazing once you get to know them. I love Megan ! 💜
Oh God! I am pretty sure I have and will continue to be the Megan for most of my relationships. It's only after some soul searching and getting the support I need back I realised the OTT was un-diagnosed ADHD. It led to a lot of impulsive and directness people get uncomfortable about but also helping people work out who they actually love or quit awful jobs. This video has reminded me being this direct has helped my mates more than hurt them so basically thanks.
I was lucky enough to get into bar trivia and it's been super useful in making friends and meeting people as an adult. Good luck and don't give up, just keep being friendly to decent people and hopefully you'll stumble into some keepers.
The problem is everyone wants a friend like meghan but they themselves can't be one.
I think the problem is everyone tries too hard to be too cool for school, not appearing in need of friends and never truly showing initiative to make friends. At least that’s my personal experience.
Making friends at any age is NEVER easy
But it's exponentially easier in school/college. The real world outside of (if you're lucky) work, it's close to impossible
agreed!
I have a megan, but we met in 3rd grade on the school bus, even then i remember meeting her and being put off by her crazy personality and i even tried to avoid her. She was insistint tho. Anyways, we're both 23 years old now and we live in different countries, i havnt seen her in about 5 years but we facetime and talk as if no time has gone by ❤ never judge a book by its cover guys!
I had several friends when I graduated high school. Over time that number plummeted. There were never any fights or fallouts, just life happening. Some moved away and just gradually fell out of contact because they got busy with life, and so did I. A couple have since passed away. One got really into drugs and stopped talking to anyone who isn't involved with drugs. The one person that I still talk to occasionally lives in Alaska (I live in Wisconsin).
The number of friends I've made as an adult 3, and I don't stay in touch with 2 of them. One cheated on her husband, got into legal trouble, and fled the state. The other, it turns out, was just using me to try to access prescription narcotics. I had a medical condition at that time that required serious pain management with opioid medications. I'm in remission now for several years and no longer need them, thank goodness. I thought this woman was a kind and caring person until I uncovered her scheme. She was also trying to scam meds out of a coworker who had just had surgery, and her own grandmother. Maybe I'm just a bad judge of character 🤷♀️
I've never seen Bridesmaids but this video made so much sense it's kind of scary.
Ive not seen this movie but now I feel like I’ve got to... I love that line “you’re your problem Annie... but you’re also your solution”
Melissa was so good at this particular role. For me, she's the highlight of this movie.
my best friend in high school was a self righteous catholic girl named mary. when my mom kicked me out of the house for not going to bed at 11 pm on a friday, she wasn't the one who was there for me. actually, she actively blew me off every time i needed her as more than a classmate. when she got married and i didn't even receive an invite, i wasn't even disappointed. i saw it coming years ago. got no ill intent towards her but now i realize where my real friends lie.
this helps. I just turned 18 this year, I've been homeschool for over 6 years and haven't made friends.
Aw, good luck to you! 🌸
as a friendless adult, this is the video i didnt know i needed to watch! i have no clue where to start or how to make friends..but this gave me an idea. ive been thinking about doing martial arts for a while now, hope itll help me socialize lol but what ive noticed so far from college "friends" is that mostly, they dont make any effort at all into trying to mantain contact. they dont message you, ask you out...if you dont say hi every once in a while, you may be forgotten soon. its sad. it feels like "i dont care if something comes out from it, i dont care if it doesnt".... but i guess i have to take everyting at face level from now on. a chat is just a chat. a meet up is just a meet up. gotta lower expectations.
Please do a video on "Nurse Jackie"! Specifically the series finale. I feel like you all's take would be great. So much symbolism
Wow it's been a hot minute since I've seen that show.
@@crazynats367 lol I just saw it for the first time and finished it the other day. Now I want more opinions on it and this channel is perfect for it.
@@candicem8931 yeah they do provide good analysis and interpretations
I've had five friends die in the past two or three years. Five. The last one was the hardest.
ferociousgumby I’m soooo sorry!
i only discovered this channel a while ago, but i already love it so much. the analytics are deep and interesting, normally i would get bored after five minutes but this time i can watch the full video without getting distracted. and the voice actor has such a soft voice thats nice to listen to, too
It's strange that there are 8 billion people in the world but so many are lonely. I think it's mostly because of the internet. So many people feel content with keeping in touch online and that's enough. Maybe text, never face to face interaction. I know why, it's because it takes effort and we are like those little fat dudes in Wall-E, just flying around with our Big Gulps. Everything that is worth something is hard to obtain... I speak from experience because I am super lazy about relationships. I have been treated like crap from people I love too many times and I guess I am jaded. I just want to hang out with my husband and our daughter and not have people in my space. But this is me as a 39 year old stay at home mom. I feel like it's a luxury not to have friends. Like I paid my dos and I can live how I want to live without people's constant stress. My house is so chill, my space is serene, no chaos exists here. It wasn't always like that. When I was young, I had a million friends, was a social butterfly, I sought people out, actually physically walk to someone'e house and knock on the door and see if they are home. We had to because the internet didn't exist. I went to concerts and house parties, raves, danced constantly. I took it for granted then but now that I look back, I am grateful I got to experience that. Having a giant group of good friends to spend time with every day. It's a rare thing and it was a huge portion of my life. Now I am glad to get time to myself and dictate how I spend it. I find myself becoming more and more introverted and it feels lush to be honest. I guess sometimes I get nostalgic and miss my old friends but it's better to keep those awesome memories in the past, it's not the same anymore, we had to grow up and have families and live life and that's ok. Meeting new people is impossible if people are not forced to spend time together like going to school, working, etc. I do none of those things so friends are not in the cards for me and it's a relief to be honest.
This was interesting -- i must say though that it doesn't take 90 hours to make a friend out of a stranger. It can happen with one moment of eye contact. Or letting yourself be real & maybe a bit vulnerable right up front. Our culture is so afraid of this authenticity, we're so afraid of getting hurt. But we WILL get hurt, there's no avoiding it. It's so very, very worth the risk, though! :-) It also helps if we stop playing the "adult" role and make friends like kids do -- spontaneously, with curiosity and openness and a lot of playfulness. And laughing!
That's how I am and nobody likes it.. I can't wait till more people are like this too.. then I will have some awesome random friends
Started watching this because I was bored. Didn’t realize I’d be absorbing such an important life lesson. I’m so glad I clicked on this video
I don't have any close friends, but when a person I find interesting decides they want to spend time with me in an intimate environment during some culture event like going to the theater or just eating out together, dedicate their time of day to spend with me, that warms my heart and I love the conversations we have with these people, they are so different and interesting to watch. I'm usually not the one to invite someone anywhere though because I assume they would decline or it would be awkward if they only agreed of politeness... making friends is hard in general, depends on what one considers a "friend" I guess - to me it's someone whose phone number you have and regularly meet up with, but I find those little connections also important
I really needed this wow it is hard asf making friendships as an adult especially when its already difficult to leav3 the house let alone talk to new people without support. I think ima rewatch bridesmaids its been so long
I just really wonder on what planet you would find a friend who actually cares as much as Megan. She seems like such a figment of fantasy and good writing.
Boot Scoot Those people genuinely exist. You just have to build a relationship with that type of person for them to reveal their Megan like behavior. Not every Megan is going to be obvious.
I’m going to try to be Megan.
its not hard to make friends, you can do it in as little as *90 hours*
Lmao, that would mean you'd have to hang out with a stranger literally every other weekend within a year to meet that quota. if the 90 hour thing is scientifically accurate, it's no wonder so many people find it impossible to make friends as an adult, I honestly wouldn't have the time to do that with my best friend
I can do it in 5 beers...
Bridesmaids is such a classic comedy! It's hard for a comedy films nowadays to make the ranks of a classic but this one definitely has!
This video almost made me cry! My name is Megan and I am kind of a black sheep. I’m at an age where a lot of my closest friends from decades of friendship are starting families and moving in a different direction than me. I have been trying to cling to those friendships but I realize I have to start making new friends who share my values and are moving on a similar path to me.
This video made me feel seen. Thank you!
Wow, it's like TH-cam can sense that I was feeling lonely and worried about not having the deep connection I'm looking for at this stage in life...
This video made me text a coworker to ask if she wants to be friends
I haven't watched this movie but I like the video essays regarding this movie. :)
If you're an adult, and you're still choosing friends based on looks, status and money, you have much bigger problems.
"Later in life" these women are my age, wheesht
Ninety hours? How do you persuade a total stranger to let you follow them around for 90 hours until they decide in fact they like you being there? I can't play sports as i have bad knees and i don't drink.
It is like you are talking to me. Like I already knew it, that I don`t have to be scared to look strange or awkward, because it is me and I can not be another person, but I needed someone to say it. And I never knew, that I couldn`t watch this film second time, because I saw myself in Annie and Megan(and my friends in Lilly and Helen) and I denied it. But now I understood, that I`m ok. I always thought, that this film is just a cliche comedy, but there is actually a solution to my problem. Your movie analysis are so deep, yet helpful. Thank you, guys!
People do make self-destructive choices. And I appreciate Megan calling bullshit on her for that
i would love having a friend like megan. i really need somebody in my life right now.
The Take keeps delivering! I fkn love this channel
God I love this channel so much. Your -Takes- are truly a breath of fresh air on TH-cam analysis.
The problem with making friends as an adult is that most of the people you interact to are from work, and I never considerate them as friends, in work everyone are trying to get their asses safe all of the time, so they don't have any problem in throwing people under the bus, there is no trust.
Also guys, if you can, you should definetely make a video about Sierra Burgess and Veronica, how different they are.
Haven’t watched the movie but now I wannaaaa, also Leslie and Anne are friendship goals I love them, I feel like the best friendships are when you’re not scared to be childish together, like have that genuine connection like you do in teen years or something, if the friendship spark is there you’ll probably manage to have time for them, and even if there’s still no time, you might meet those real type of friends even once every few months and still not feel like you’ve grown apart
I’m sure I can’t be the only one who yelled “90 hourssssssss!!!!!!!” 🤯😂
Your great thorough analyses of Bridesmaids and its characters are really changing my opinion of the movie, from being an okay entertaining flick to something profoundly deep and LaYeReD.
@Dana Davison Wow, I'm so sorry that you had to go through something so horrible, and then to have your friends disappear in such difficult times... I hope and presume that you overcame it
I didn't mean that the movie is bad or anything, I quite like it - I just didn't realise exactly what makes me like it (apart from the humour obviously), until I watched this analysis.
Omygod we need more characters like Megan 😌 such a complete adult tbh
Didn't expect to find exactly what I needed to hear in a youtube video about Bridesmaids, but I'll take it. That was really sweet
I’m very lucky to having a few friends I’ve had since childhood and my teens but after college it feels like I’m drifting from the friends I made in college because of careers and being across the country :( being in a new city feels so lonely
It really is hard to make friends as an adult. Especially if you move out of your hometown 😩
I really want a solo Megan movie now