How to Deal with People You Don't Like at Work (DIFFICULT COWORKERS)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 มิ.ย. 2024
- How to Work with People You Don’t Like
Have you ever worked with a coworkers you disliked or dealing with difficult people at work? Just like how we meet people we become instant friends with, sometimes - even if it’s without reason - you might dislike coworkers. While coworkers are not your friends and you do not have to make friends at work, you do need to have a productive and position relationship with your coworkers. But how do you do that when you are working with people you hate?
In this video I’m deep diving into how to work with people you don't like. Whether its a difficult coworkers, jealous coworkers, bossy coworkers, or anything in between, the goal of this video is to help you get along with coworkers in a professional capacity, transform your energy towards the coworker you don’t like and make your life more pleasant at work. If you’re dealing with difficult people and need to know how to deal with people at work you don’t like this video was made just for you my career bestie. And there’s a good chance you also are having to figure out how to work with people who don’t like you, because in general that energy is mutual. Don’t worry,dont make friends at work with your toxic coworkers, instead this video focuses on building a more positive and impactful relationship, so ultimately your career success is not hurt.
If you have any tips you would add on how to work with people who aren’t your favorite coworkers - and how not to react to toxic or jealous coworkers drop them in the comments!
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What tips would you add to this list?
Thank you for these videos I’m currently dealing with a coworker who is really rude loud and aggressive
Don't entertain negative people
What if the difficult coworker is your boss?
@@tracy3418 that’s my issue now
Hi jennifer i think my general coworkers aren toxic but one was just picking on me coz she was stressed. Not strictly toxic but it piss me off
I strongly do NOT recommend talking to toxic people about their behavior. They know exactly what they are doing and when you talk to them about it that just confirms to them that their hateful antics are working and that it bothers you. My advice is to only interact with them when you are directed to do so, otherwise don’t engage/entertain them AT ALL! Nothing they do or say is relevant to you💁🏽♀
I totally agree. Plus some get highly defensive and that can make the situation worse.
I agree with not trying talk to a toxic coworker.
You can't totally ignore the complete azzhole or they will likely try causing you trouble, you have to put on an act and notice but ignore their two faced bs...
Yah i got a super toxic colleague telling tales to new colleague n also about me. Yet i have to wk wit her on a project. My boss ask me to be professional ... and if cant she will tk bk my project. Wat the hell
Try to focus on what YOU need and want to get out of the project and don’t trust a damn thing that person says. Jacka$$es love to play the “fake nice” game to gain information from you.
Just try your best to maintain your professionalism. I’m rooting for you✊🏽😉
To be honest I can't think of anyone I just don't like for no reason. All the coworkers I dislike, earned it.
Trust me 🌝I'm the world's hated colleague at work 😂from the first day I got there and I got depressed because I'm just not fitting in and everyone seems to be okay with everyone. I just decided to learn to keep a low profile because I'm probably the problem
@@cherylmoche4744I was like that before until I found a job I loved.
Exactly!
Neither can I. It makes no sense to me how people say they can just dislike someone for no reason.
There will be a reason (or reasons) but that person has either not taken the time to really think about why they dislike the someone.
@@cherylmoche4744Just because you're different or you don't fit in, does not necessarily make you the problem. I don't fit in at work but I think that's because I'm quiet and every else likes to talk. I also don't make an effort to talk as they like to gossip and badmouth others most of the time and I'm against that so I just keep my head down and mouth shut and do my work
The reason why I dislike my colleagues is because they're cliquish, petty, passive/ aggressive, gossip too much. I try to pick my battles & limit my interactions with these individuals.
Dealing with this now 🙄..
@@Dreas_Redpumps
Sorry to hear that luckily I get to work remotely from home. IDK if your job allows you to listen to headphones while you work, so you don't have to listen to that nonsense all day.
The best thing you can do in this situation is rise above that crap. Let them gossip and be petty with each other, but do not partake. Soon you will be that trusted and respected coworker. You don’t want to be part of their clique either. The more you hang around with them, the more they will talk about you do don’t give them the pleasure of your company. Stay neutral and work hard. Let them deal with the problems they create for themselves.
@@Chris-tg3qy
Very good advice
@@Dreas_Redpumps me too 😒 Feels like high school all over again
Stop trying to make friends at work.. best advice ever! When you lower your expectations that you have for coworkers on a personal level you are less likely to be disappointed.
Exactly colleagues aren't your friends. Once you leave the company you don't hear from them or they start acting funny.
Excellent Advice which I have learnt the hard way tbh.
I absolutely HATE it when a company refers to themselves as a “family” for the simple fact that we don’t interact with our boss or co-workers the same way we do with our family. Our co-workers aren’t meant to be our “family” or “friends.”
I'm with you on this 💯💯💯
I come from a family of narcissitic abuse. I _hope_ my company is _not_ like my family!
Absofreakinglutely!! Personally, I think this is where most problems arise.
This boss now forces me to say Good Morning every morning and it has happened for 3 days in a row. I just don't wanna or need to say Good Morning to you
@@nicolewinters I mean no disrespect Ms. Wong, but based on your TH-cam photo, you are very pretty, and that may have something to do with it.
I've got a coworker who seems all friendly and caring but when you contradict her she'll get all defensive and plays the victim. It's never her fault.
I don't want to be friends with my coworkers, we just don't have anything in common. I find the things they talk about petty.
I just want to work with them efficiently, get work done, get my paycheck and feel content.
I have been labeled contradicting & one to play victim. But honestly it really is me trying to defend myself. I am trying to be better any advice or tips
I feel the same. I get put alot of stress and doing more task. I got fed up and just stop talking to them. I am just going to come to work and then go home. I'm here to just get paid anyway.
I work w/ the elderly & I am sensitive but I guess this is a bad thing too. Bc they'll try & get under my skin, & it works somexs. I feel like I come off as bad but it's just that I know I put in so much more work, & I dont even think the place is organized enough, I'm scared to say anything. When I do, it's mainly bc im fed up w/ my co workers. They always test me about my cna skills & bc it's an assisted facility/ nursing home... I know, this is like vanilla ice trying to explain he didn't steal queens song... but I thought I was doing bad. Come to find out, you don't even need a license to be there. & I dont think alotta of em even have a license. I'm in memory, most of the xs, & it's way more intense back there. & ppl keep arguing the pay needs to be higher back there... They all have mental problems, lots of injuries going on, somexs from other residents, or the stubborness of i can do it on my own, i dont need help!.. mood swings from visits of family... or lack of, meds, wever it is, oh, & throw in hospice. Basically, they're way more dependent & some are waaay worse off... But this unit is way more stressful, intense, more critical. So, of course, I have to be thrown in there more so than others. I said I liked it to begin with (bc I was just trying to make a good impression) it made the time go by faster, I like the experience, challenges, & that I do actually care about the ppl. But it can be so exhausting & draining. So just any little thing ppl can talk about they will, & try to apply it to & shes a cna? It's like first off, if u even understood the process.. 2nd) I don't have to prove anything to no one. Bc someone out there, way higher up or not, is not listening to sh. talk but is actually looking into my background. Try reading the fine print more often... bright 1s,.. or not. At least get they freaking gist of it. 3rd) I didn't come in here to have a competition. I do have a life outside of here. You know? Full of my own fam., & just shut up! Bc I do actually got other things & other ppl I got to tend to. Tend to... not drama. I hate the way they try to throw me off, making it seem like I'm supposed to care about them more. 456789. & it's not that I got a big head. Although I like the stability.. the opportunities, that someone/s even took a chance on me to even let me get my foot through the door. I am grateful. It's just this really isn't the time to make your ego bigger than what's really going on. Bc the reality of it is where still bottom of the barrel stuff that no one else wants to do. Mind you, take a look around. Bc no, I don't feel like a special unicorn pikachu. I know plenty of more ppl r getting into the healthfield& that there's a need for it. So much, ppl r offering Free paid for courses for ppl to get involved in it! I just dont really know how to take or even articulate how ppl try me. Like why the hell r u testing me. Ppl r pretty much begging for anyone to get involved & kind of rewarding u for it & u just hafta work for it & u cant even be happy for me? Yet i keep telling em im only certified. Never got the license tho. But when i do... im just happy i had the chance/ experience.. idk where u came from tho. It's like some co workers r in & out all the time thinking they got all the right answers trying to order me around while I was already over extending myself. VS I know that deep down, they don't want a heavy rotation... & need more consistent... ppl that these ppl actually get used to. It's just some of my co workers try to front like things r so easy & they're just so likeable. & im just special...if I really started blurting out loud what some of things I've heard even what the residents have said is like 😑 u don't even know how much I don't try & fuel the negative energy. Bc unlike u, I don't want to wake up every day, dreading on going to work. It's just hard. I tried explaining to my whole 1 male co worker/ nurse aide, when they see there's a lack of structure/ foundation... between us,that gives them a window to try us more. But bruh,whoosh. & I can even empathize & understand his flipside of his unproper life/lifestyle..., he's just wild... it's like, your "charm" that front... doesn't always work as much as u think. Bc I think this goes w/ out saying (even tho somexs I really do think males should be more involved in this field. Especially when it comes to outbursts of aggression...) somexs the ladies? They really rnt feelin you the way u think they r. Like they don't even want u to touch them.. On top of old southern white folks being old southern white folks. No worries tho. Bc I get it too. Me not understanding English & what not dealing w/ these ppl on the daily... Or rather a whole entire 1 person. But also also just that vs their stuff is like yikes :/ like I must be getting battles. They must got full time wars or some sh. Wars :/... meanwhile, just ha. & also ahhhh. I used to think I didn't do this for the recognition cred or praise which I don't. But the workplace could be better. I know a med tech.. that's always telling me compliments she hears from my residents saying I'm 1 of the good 1s & it's like yeah, yeah, thats what they all say. Until they're mad at me again. Meanwhile I Guess all it really is apparently is how much ppl can fake. I don't have that type of energy 🙄, & I'm sure as hell not gonna be kissing all up on these ppl. I wish I could vent more to ppl that could understand... but I'm freaking here... & I already typed out enough as it is
Same for me, I feel some of my coworkers feel threatened by me as I don't gossip and play games, I'm cool and chill but also direct...I vibe with a select few who get me...I just stay cordial and do my work
"you don't get promoted or praised for working with your friends" on point 👌👏
I love that ❤!!!
Always focus on your work and not their behavior. I also don’t recommend talking to them about their behavior. More than likely that won’t be the first time they annoyed someone and they will know how to weasel out of it. Remember, this jerk is not your friend. Unless they get to outright abuse, never take their bs personal. Just Do your Job and get the F outta there
exactly, well said! 💯👍
Really good advice, needed this ❤
Once talking to such person helped. We have a guy in our team who was smelling awfully across the office for about a year. Then someone talked to him, I guess, cos smell disappeared
I feel like a person who has been imprisoned for a crime I didn’t commit.
I get it. They are rude to us, they backstab us, they trap us, they play dirty, gossip about us, talk behind our backs for no reason at all...just because...but it's our fault??
No, it's them! Protect yourself 😊
When my colleague is rude/obnoxious, to control my reactions, I’d pretend that they are doing a very lame talkshow and laugh about it on the inside. Who knows how funny things can be when you do that!
💯💯💯💯💯🔥
Good suggestion
yeah… this is why I keep to myself and alway be cordial to everyone. People just think I’m awkward and quite but that’s it. No one knows me outside of work and I don’t know them.
Great stuff! “Coworkers are not friends” is right. The point is that you need to get along to be productive. Smoothing our your soft skills is the best way to make this happen.
Soft skills go a long way to establishing productive and positive relationships at work for sure!
I don't have soft skills. But I'm amazing with machines!
I agree that Co workers are not your friends. But the whole culture at work encourages everyone to establish close friendships. If you're not into that whole thing, or you're an introvert or have Avoidant Personality Disorder these working environments can be a huge struggle.
@@tudormiller8898 Yeah.. I hear you... that's why it's so important to set those emotional boundaries early so that even though you're doing the "face work" of being friends, you create some emotional distance for when everyone needs to move on. However, it's also true that the networks and relationships you build in one job can often help you with future transitions so they have their time and place as well.
I don't understand this. Most people at work will never be close friends, but I've pulled a few from every job I've worked at. I carry those friendships through life. The friendship transcended the job and changed as my life changed. If I refused to accept or engage in those friendships my life would be much poorer today.
My colleague talks down to me, is incredibly arrogant & has repeatedly been disrespectful to me & others. I'm focusing on what I can control which is my output. I'm already drafting up plans to leave the company after a year. I'm 3 1/2mos. in, so 9 months to go. I take comfort in knowing this isn't a forever situation.
Same
My old coworkers were huge gossips and I often felt I was a topic. Many of them would just stare at me. Just straight up stare. Not even say a word. I hate confrontation and had a hard time standing up for myself since I was a child. Instead of speaking up, my body and mind go into freeze mode. Also, I have a hard time maintaining eye contact especially if the gaze is judgemental. I think after a while they kept on with their behavior because they saw my weakness. It even started coming from ppl I wouldn't expect. I'm learning to be more assertive. I want to make sure not to be treated that way in my next job. Gotta address it as soon as you see it. Ppl will try you if they can.
Reading your comment made me sad. I hope it is going better for you currently and does so in the future. Greetings from the UK.
You have to build a backbone and a mindset of not giving a fu$& about these coworkers. For me, it was me , it was me and the store manager. He run me the wrong way. He just thinks he can talk to anyone any kind of way. I stood my ground with him and he didn’t like that. From what I have noticed, he doesn’t schedule me on days HE works lol. He is a joke AND immature. I don’t trust my other coworkers either. They all smile in your face and then talk behind ur back. You have to keep your head up, do your work, execute and get your check. People will try you. Always stand your ground!
My coworkers are unbearable to work with
@@cherrylow9818 I can’t stand those kind of employees
And what about those who keep info from you. Trying you like a Dumb. Or just to feel important. Cant stand
Amen
I have a coworker who is incredibly lazy and does the bare minimum. I was upset for a while but I have gotten over this. I just get things done and treat them respectfully. Superficial pleasantries and focusing on completing the mission in the workplace is the goal.
Patrice please tell me how you do this?
I LITERALLY mind my own business and do my job at work. I stay to myself unless one initiates a conversation. I have conflict with 2 different coworkers. 1 accused me of being discriminatory because I gave one of my friendly acquaintances some uniform accessories, (they are the same race, I am different, mind you). Then another coworker blasted me for doing a task that is part of my job description. I am guilty of having severe anxiety and panic attacks from these incidents.
Hi i can somehow relate to you and I suffer from severe anxiety and panoc attacks too. But I'm really trying my best bcos I just got this job :( I can get along well and mind my own business but as a newbie, I really need my coworkers help and sadly I have this 1 coworker that has a really toxic behavior :( im scared that I will get triggered again.
I was blessed with a better job opportunity and I walked out of the other one. I did not have 1 care about doing it, either.
I am the same. Minding my own business and doing my work is easier when working from home. Though In the office it makes you look like a loner.
I hate being the bottle upper and then when I got things to say I'm prob magically explosive. I don't magically got alot of things to say. That's just alotta things I've been holding back. Imma a talk less do more kind of person but I guess the majority of ppl don't operate that way. Idc about being petty. I try to focus on bigger pics, improving my life, & not hating what I do w/ a passion. I mean,I know I gotta prove myself to an extent. But I gotta prove it more to myself. Most ppl aren't gonna be on my journey w/ me. I don't think I'm being emo. I'm being realistic. Plz b move. And get out the way. K thx, have a nice day
It's usually the females with jealousy or control/ego issues who cause problems at work.
Female coworkers can be vicious!
Oh I thought I knew my coworker he seemed nice, till he was employed full time and he showed me who he really is. He says and do things and lies and change the stories everytime his around the boss, I'm at my wits end, his definitely one of those people who would make others look bad just so he can look good.
Sina I'm so sorry you're going through this. Are you able to minimize your interactions with him?
@@JenniferBrick we unfortunately have to work with each other as we the only two stuff member in the office and the manager.
you should mention this to the manager. this is something that happens a lot when the boss is around
This is happening to me and bro he will always act like he’s such a good guy but 😂😂 he’s not
Sound like exactly like a guy that I work with.
Why don't I like my coworker?
Easy answer is that they are dismissive, absent and abusive.
Having the same problem, any tips on how to deal with it please??
Mines is a creep
I don't like my coworker because their work is going to effect my work and they can hardly understand what is going on in the job and they need a lot of explanation, but they don't want to go the extra mile to understand it, and honestly that is effecting on my performance. The problem is getting to my head to a point where I am really stressed all the time.
Totally understand. It can be very frustrating working with someone who is giving you problems on a professional level. Just be very assertive, and keep all your conversations in writing. If anything, at least you protect yourself.
I came up with this strategy to not react: When they are awful, I think "RESET" and instead of reacting to what just happened, I think "If they not not done that, what would I have done next?" Then, I react as if the unpleasantness never happened. It keeps me true to who I am and starves them of whatever negative reaction they were hoping to get out of me. A you-can't-steal-my-joy kind of thing.
I can't tolerate laziness well. In my field the work-ethic and attention to detail has drastically dissipated around me.
Same, I despise laziness when it effects me at work
Usually I start disliking my coworkers when they're holier than thou and overly critical of others. This is a trigger I know I have because whenever I find it in someone, I know they're going to be difficult and almost always hypocritical. And petty, very petty. I give people leniency to just be people and make mistakes and not have everything figured out, but the holier than thou type isn't really like that so we always have conflict. It just manifests in so many problems when people are like that and you have to work with them. I've found that even if you just try to stay away from them, they create all kinds of problems to reel you in or get your manager involved. It's pretty much what I expect at this point.
I have this situation right now bro, I can't really handle it 😫. I am so depressed 😞
@@mixedworld869 I'm sorry. I hope you are looking for other jobs. Sometimes it helps to find a job where you're not as exposed to the various problematic personalities in the office, or at least where you have a door you can close to have some privacy. Almost every workplace has a person like this though and they're very, very difficult to avoid or get along with if you can't just shut them out of your personal space.
The reasons why you don't like your coworkers and bosses are your emotions. Try to act professionally at your job and ignore any emotional interactions. Don't find reasons to like them, nor justifications to hate them. Also don't gossip, because the wrong ears might hear it and you just put yourself in situations you did not negotiate to be in. When shit comes your way, stop everything you do and take a deep 5 second breath and a 5 seconds exhale. That's the average time for your frontal cortex to gain control and start processing the situation and stop you from saying something stupid that will get you fired. Befriend them if you can gain a benefit, if not, let them stir in their own emotional cesspool and don't get your feet wet.
Great reminder. I also do this lately and it helps. I try to focus more on my work rather than reflecting on their actions toward me bcos it hurts me and destroys my focus (esp feom my toxoc coworker) :(
Great advice
Even though you don't like them they can teach you more about yourself.
Yes!! Thank you for adding this important point Natalie!
@@JenniferBrick Your Welcome!
A few I work with bring out my worst. I feel like pushing them off a cliff
I agree but I won't give them that credit.
They were trying to get me guilty by association..
Had a co-worker really crap on my work. Told me my stuff was trash. She thinks she knows better than I do because she's like 30 years my senior. When I delivered for a 100+ person event I knocked it out of the park. I got heaps of praise from all stakeholders and good evaluations all around. I know what I do, and I know I do it well. You have to know that you're professional just like everyone else hired along with you and that you have strengths. You may not always think of your strengths as such but that is probably because you've hit a high enough level of mastery to know that there is a lot you don't know. Many of the critics are at a level where they know just enough to think they know it all, but not enough to realize they really don't know. Now I can still work with this person, and I am cordial. I make no unnecessary efforts and I focus on task. They really are not your friends.
I’ve been working at my company longer than this person at mine and she acts like she’s superior yet tries to get me to do her work. Everyone hates having her on their shift she doesn’t do anything, and she blames any little that goes wrong on them
This seems a bit ageist. People 30 years your senior DO know more than you. Period.
@@anonanonymous1970 That doesn't mean what they know is relevant, or that they know more than you do in your area of expertise.
@@nelsonartemio4218 In general, it does.
@@nelsonartemio4218 And I'm not sure anyone can say they have "expertise" if there are people in the field with 30 years on you.
Jennifer I am in a new role, there is no training except training as we go, the staff are incredibly busy so not much time to train which in the end makes me look bad because I have (until recently) been floundering in my new role - which included administrative work of which I have no experience. Your tips are saving me today I will continue to watch and learn from your very helpful and essential tips. Thank you
One thing that may help is asking for specific help and guidance as you go. For example, "I haven't done this before, can you show me this..." Pairing it with a compliment often makes people more receptive. For example, "I noticed how great you are at ___, and I haven't learned how to do it yet. Since you're the best I thought I would ask if you could walk me through it...."
And I'm so glad my videos are helpful.
I work with incompetent people who are very comfortable doing the bare minimum. They're apparently not challenged by their managers to improve their performance either. When you need something from them, they either ignore you, or they give you assurances but never deliver. I try to minimize contact with them as much as possible and I pray for audit findings that identify them as the root cause of deficiency and need for action.
This video has really given me some strong insight to reevaluate myself but also to really sit down and not let the difficult things that I don’t like about this particular coworker drive me out of my success! I just got promoted to a manager role with working within the same peers circle who I NOW have to give direction too. I find this transition to be one of the hardest parts of my career I have ever faced. I don’t like the feeling of having to walk on egg shells in my own office because of someone who chooses to not respect my position nor my expectations I have! I just want to work and succeed in a place of work where we all feel acknowledged yet not feel like I have to change MYSELF with many things this coworker says and does are extremely triggering to me.
I just want to keep the peace yet I refuse to be FAKE! I get blamed for having the “NEW” energy because I am not laughing with the team anymore. Yet when I am, now my level of position is no longer taken SERIOUSLY! Respect is big for me once I feel that has been tainted it’s hard for me to engage with you. So I keep my distance. No talks have changed this coworkers work performance and I feel like I will end up being the one to give the two weeks notice! I’m not a weak person nor am I one to give up easily when I have worked so hard to get where I am currently. I have tried the team group talks, the one on ones, but I am not the type of worker that will vent to another higher superior just because. But I am taking steps to find the reasons and self growth to make a way around to be able to perform at work without this affecting my workplace. Thanks Jennifer
No offence, but you don't sound like someone who is ready to be responsible for other people. "Your own office?"- are you paying for it? If you want to be respected, you have to earn it, regardless of your position.
In general, don't take yourself too seriously. To be honest, if you are salaried and have working hours, you are not much of boss actually.
Thats why l am working on retiring early , hopefully l can get rich soon.
Having a solid financial plan is a must for everyone!
There will still be people in your life you have to deal with.
Sounds like a plan. However, I recommend moving in the direction of remote working. Basically, the longer you work, the better you will enjoy your retirement, (401k, IRAs, Social Security). It is probably the single best thing to come from this horrible pandemic.
@@solidstate9451 However, you do not have to depend on them for your financial stability.
This woman I work with was so unkind and rude to me when I started that I gave up and now I just have almost zero patience for her and her talking over people trying to look smart all the time. I know her behavior stems from insecurity but sometimes I just get frustrated and it shows. Then she plays the victim. Any tips for just staying calm and cool in the moment? If I could just become the master of not reacting to it!
You must be dealing with the same exact person I'm dealing with because I'm literally dealing with someone just like this the talk over and always acting like a victim or like I'm doing her something 🙄
@@four-x-trading5606 so annoying, right?! Fortunately for me she couldn’t help herself and acted badly with the boss who is going to pawn her off to another team. At least I won’t have to interact with her.
@@ChefJenniferParker At least there's a happy ending with this one.
Sammmmeeee- 😣
You really helped me a lot. I swear. Im a people pleaser to the extent that bashing and being against with the company like what my co workers do but for me I know that its not okay.. I unfriended every toxic co worker and now Im a bad guy.. but you helped me cope up again.Thank you so so so much
"How to deal with difficult people at work"
"Suck it up and get used to it. Try to like them"
No.
"If they have wronged you to the point of harrassment, take appropriate legal channels.."
HR EXISTS TO PROTECT THE COMPANY, NOT THE WORKER. DONT FORGET THIS.
That's how I felt Jennifer is trying to me "Suck it up and get used to it. Try to like them."
No. That's so fake. Forced positivity. Dishonest to ur own feeling and value.
I just ignore them in my own business and it works great
I like how you bring up the fact that you could just dislike your co-worker because of jealously or other selfish reasons, a lot of these type of videos people make seem to omit the possibility that perhaps they're the ones with the issue.
It's important to examine, as uncomfortable as it can be.
Hope you have a great weekend planned Bobby!
@@JenniferBrick I'm doing fantastic as always, hope you can say the same.
It's not an easy process to have to cope with toxic harmful coworkers but what I do is privately pray over them and there lives. I try to be professional respectful and cordial but keep a boundary distance.
Main reason why I dislike my coworkers is that they don't follow the rules we have. When I tell them they shouldn't use their phone for personal use in the lab they get all offended. They are the ones with the work-avoiding attitude. That is what I really dislike. I cannot see any positive thing about it, besides being "laid back". I talked about this to my manager but she just said that people can't be changed. I don't think it's about the person, but rather their behavior. They don't take work seriously at all and get away with a lot of things. "I finish all projects always" they say, working fulltime they have finished the same amount of projects as the coworker only working 13 hours per week. It bothers me that they slack off and leech on other peoples efforts.
this is sad but true, I just learned the hard way that the people I thought cared about me at work, when I tested that, don't! I liked everyone. Now I like everyone.
I told my boss to F-off it didn't go great at the time but in the long run it worked out for me. I pushed out and found a much better job. After a few months the company called me back asking for my services and told me that the boss is not there anymore. I politely declined I have much better job now.
Love these messages Jennifer Brick! Thank you!
If people I can't avoid are really awful, I think: "Thank god I'm not such a dumb jerks as you!" and smile because I'm so happy with myself, and stare in the middle distance. This makes my smile don't look fake.
So I like that it works for you, but maybe shift from a dislike state into an empathic state.
@@JenniferBrick I can't stand people who _use_ other people like objects. And that will never change.
I don't like a coworker because she came into an environment where there was a lot to learn and thought she was an expert after a couple of months, started talking over people hijacking every conversation with managers, had to be the sparkly thing in the room all the time, and took credit for things she didn't do, competitive, consumed with her looks to the point of repeating every comment anyone made to her that day. Then she started making nasty little snarky comments to people who had worked much longer and harder than she did. She tried to get into my computer twice when I left the room to access personal information and emails. When called on it, she played the victim. Or flipped it around and said--"so and so wants to be my friend, and I just want to come in and do my job." All bs, nobody wanted to be her friend. It's so so difficult, I just stopped talking unless it was about work. I hide my purse, lock my computer screen when I step away for even one minute. How do I deal with this? Hard to ignore.
You're great. I've been learning lots. Thank you for opening my eyes .
Thank you and so glad my videos are helping!
A few years ago during lockdown I had a senior person call me on Teams and told me off about something, but in a really sarcastic belittling way. He brought one of his counterparts into the conversation to observe my telling off (obviously trying to impress him). I took everything on the chin and didn’t react. When the call was over, his coworker stayed on the line and said “what a d**k”, and that I handled him really well. By saying nothing, they are actually digging their own grave and putting themselves out there.
Interesting advice ... I think another reason someone might dislike a co-worker is because they point out a fault or something unethical like criticizing another person's speed or work, when that person is doing really wrong. This is something I do detest and despise in colleagues, when all they've got to do is gossip about someone being slow and/or stupid and don't actually accept justified criticism for it.
Thank you so much for dismissing the notion of coworkers as friends and family.....too many try to cross this line and it never works (for me, anyhow)
Thank you so munch for making these kind of videos, it’s help me deal with a very bad relationship with one of my co workers. Please keep making videos like this one, you are helping a lot of people with these videos 😊😊
What if you don’t like your coworker because he does terrible work that directly impacts your day because you share tasks? I’m his direct superior and I have talked with him about the work products expectations but he won’t change. And my superiors are too busy to help me. If you haven’t guessed, I work in education.
I'll have to see this video 2-3 times since I'm a bullheaded person and this isn't getting into my head that easily.
Sounds like so much compromise or lot of steps that feels like passing out.
😂😂
I feel ya. I’m so sick of dealing with co workers I don’t like
I’m dealing with a few toxic coworkers who doesn’t like to see people accelerate their careers. Which I’m doing. They join together as a clique set traps and passive aggressively try to trigger me. Over and over again. The culture of the job has changed. And as I’m exiting to move to the next level of my career they’re trying their best to sabotage my career. Very tiring. I tried all those techniques and still cannot get a good result. These guys are relentless. I work in psychiatry and I think the staff I work with are more mentally unstable than the clients. Help me understand how to deal with them. Some of it is “ DISCRIMINATION “ I even when to management and they’ll just gloss over it and have a meaningless meeting to not address what’s going on.
I love your channel, I needed this!
Thanks!
Thank you, I really needed this❤
I love your videos im learning so much from you, my anxiety is soo bad at work because i feel like everyone is the same🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️
in america everyone is a psycho, too much of stress for a job. how does one enjoy life.
Thank you! We are NOT family.
Check this out, i had 3 coworkers who are not even in my department, that they hate me passionately for no reason ever since I switched my position from the morning shift to the afternoon shift. I don't know anything about them they don't know anything about me, they just don't like me. They constantly talk behind my back for 2 years and to this day. I set my emotions aside focus on my work, i just ignore them and whenever I see them I just walk away.
Don't let insecure, jealous individuals break your spirit whether that's at work or in your personal life. Keep on smiling and stay strong each day. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone but yourself @Mandaean :)
You rock, I have made a few mistakes but not anymore. Thanks, had to take a critical look at myself so that I can respond and not react ❤
I think Jennifer's idea of "hate" is very subtle. For me, I "hate" a coworker that makes my blood boiled very single fkg time. That's real hate. I keep a distance from him; stop talking to him just to keep my blood from boiling. Meanwhile, I'm looking for other job now.
some people you can't talk to... they don't want to talk about anything that they don't agree with
So insightful. Thanks 👍😊
I don't like my coworker because she is a compulsive chatty and nosy person who trivializes the work. Because she doesn't see the work as important, interrupting me every five minutes with meaningless minutia is fine according to her. I told her so, and from time to time I have to remind her. I've been there for 20 years and she is being there for about 9 months. To her, the work is just a bunch of clerical data that she is probably not being paid well to work on, but that is not the case for me.
Just tell her I don't have to e for this conversation I need to do my work and she will leave you alone.
And that is WHY I like working remote.
Companies were like second families at one time. Management cared, co workers rallied around each other through difficulties, and Human Resources actually tried to help workers understand policies in their best interests. Then, company re-organizations, down sizing, and shareholder profits were prioritized over employees and the “family” mantra became a joke. When companies talk about not being able to find good employees that is code for: Our jobs are ridiculously demanding and we expect you to show up on day one being fully trained and for some reason, nobody is interested in applying for this job with a barely livable wage.
I'm not really sure how one deals with this, but a toxic co-worker at my job literally started making fun of me out of nowhere with passive aggressive comments and such. I avoid her and change the subject each time. She literally went from getting along with me really well to trying to get a rise out of me every two seconds. It's strange. She was the visual lead at the high end boutique I work at so I'm guessing she feels slighted. But the thing is she only began acting this way a few weeks ago. I've been here at this store for 6 months lol makes no sense. She knows I've been in retail for years. She has her own business making bracelets along with this job and is really rich living in one of the more well-off towns in my state so she doesn't need the money. I would say this is out of pure jealousy, but the fact that she randomly started acting this way and we're in two very different stages of life makes no sense. Nothing has happened to provoke this. I keep looking for clarity within the confusion lol
I'll say a word of prayer for you now! 🙏♥️🙌
i hate the advice "let it go". it's easy to say this to others but are you comfortable receiving this advice when you have a problem? furthermore, "let it go" is expected regardless of the nature and seriousness of a problem. "let it go" means "i don'T wanna hear or deal with YOUR problem because i have a part in it"
Exactly. Its really not that easy to let it go. Sometimes you have to transfer or leave the work situation if you are able to.
I left my last job when I observed the REAL side of the head manager. He unnecessarily verbally devastated a nice young lady I work with just a few minutes into her shift. She’s a good worker and dependable and it was totally uncalled for. Dude was a total crab probably due to his own lousy health that morning and took it out on her. I knew I wasn’t in a good place after I saw that. I put my two weeks in after a few days thought after I observed some more of his poor treatment towards staff. Another young lady told me before I left he fools everyone into thinking he’s a nice guy during the interview so other people were seeing it not just me. Another employee told me they went through 200 employees last year and it’s just a small grocery store. I said why do you think that is and he paused and said environment. My reply was REALLY!? 😂 Not much you can do when the boss needs to go and he’s pissin in his own pool.
Worth my time listening to this!
I always use the strategy of carrying a smile on my face in all situations that gives a benefit of doubt whether I am triggered or ignoring their behaviour.
They can't withstand to see a positive attitude you carry.
I can work really well with most people but I hate those who come to work but don’t want to work. Those are the ones I don’t lie cause that is very opposite my work ethics.
Recently I helped a co-worker develop by training him in my area. I am very generous when training someone, everything that affects sales, organising and managing and working with good team spirit is my thing that I train him on everything I know about our work. Once he hot what he wanted he changed… he started slacking and when I ask him about the work he is assigned to and give him feedback to improve him he started going around complaining about me that I criticise him all the time. I tried for few months to talk to him and help him see the purpose of my feedback which is not meant to be critical. He hasn’t changed after 2 years and now I gave up.
Thank you sooo much for this advice. It was hard wisdom to swallow, but very helpful medicine :)
I have a coworker whom I somehow rubbed the wrong way and now they don’t speak to me unless absolutely necessary. They also don’t offer help when needed. How I handled this is 1. Act as if there is nothing wrong and continue to communicate work related issues as before.
2. Ask someone else for help if there is someone else available.
3. I accepted they don’t want to communicate about what I did to tick them off, so I don’t discuss it with them or anyone else.
Great. Thanks 🙏🏾
Do what’s best for your mental and emotional health. What works for me to get far far away from the person as I possibly can. I cannot continue to be around poison or in a healthy person expecting good results, ain’t gonna happen.
What I have experienced is usually over 99% of the time if someone doesn’t like me I haven’t started it . I’m friendly to everyone. I also realize that everybody’s going to like me even with my best behavior ,on my best day.
I don't talk to rude people at work I ignore them
I've learned to keep my mouth shut @work. Been burned by so-called coworker "friends " too many times. I was shocked at how easy it was for other coworkers to betray!!!
Super important info as usual
I'm working with someone who threw me under the bus today. She transferred in from another dept. When she did, my cubicle mate got a phone call from one of the transfers former coworkers (my cube mate's coworker from a different job) pretty much laughing at us for having to work with transfer instead of them. We were warned that she will eavesdrop and then interject herself into conversations she was never invited into, she does not catch on to the task at hand, and loves to go to the supervisors over anything. Turns out, yes, yes, and yes. I've had 4 people approach me about how obnoxious she is in group chats. I'd say at this point I'm not exactly the brunt of the issue with the coworker I don't like.
I'm dealing with 2 coworkers whom are giving me a cold shoulder and the silent treatment. I don't have to be friends with them but only get along just for work
You need to reassess your list, because some of us dislike our coworkers for valid reasons. I dislike mine because she's lazy and incompetent. She outright LIED - said she completed tasks that were obviously NOT done. She also took incomplete work out of my inbox, and told our supervisor that "I" was doing my job wrong. Our supervisor takes lazy-gal at her word; no research into the accusations at all. If you're going to reassess your list, at least tell your viewers to go to your video on TOXIC coworkers before that finish this video.
I would like sound advice.
I am going 2 years strong with the company I work for. I got a promotion to a leadership position. Since the beginning of 2020 my position was offered and I accepted. 9 months into preparing for my position, my company has hired someone else who has more experience than I do to delegate other task. Also hiring her for a leadership position, “regional trainer”. Now with a new office opening up soon they want me to the be “lead” for the office and for her to be the “trainer” (using the new office as the training site). She has only worked maybe 2-3 months, and our boss shows nepotism. Delegating “lead” roles to her. I feel undermined almost. I feel like, what’s the point in my position if she already carries this egotistical mindset.
I am all for sharing the wealth and growth. What I don’t feel comfortable with is not knowing our boundaries/roles as coworkers. Our roles are very unclear.
When the new office opens up, who are the new employees going to look up to? Her because she is the “trainer” who has trained them, or me because I’m the “lead/supervisor” for that office?
Should I keep my head low and just go with the flow? The anxiety is killing me. I don’t like conflict.
At this point, I might as well pack my bag and leave for the woods
Well they purposely ignore me and didn’t train me properly so when I ask questions they say I know what I’m doing when I don’t. It’s absolutely ridiculous. Plus if I text them even if it’s important they don’t text back but expect me to text them. Even in dire situations they completely ignore me so idk
My coworkers gossip about me and tell the boss things to get me in trouble. I don't like any of them... because they are All alike. I work in a toxic environment. My boss encourages this behavior. My boss is abusive. I have tried to get along, but once someone shows me who they are... I believe them! I'm not talking to them anymore unless it's work related. I'm 60 years old and I'm not interested in climbing the corporate ladder. I just want to do my job and go home. Oh. They got a reaction out of me recently... and I got written up. I was worried about getting fired. I still may get fired... but it is what it is. I've been with this company for 14years. I like my job and there are some benefits to working there. I'm not going to lose everything that I've worked for because I can't keep my mouth shut or because some people are committed to creating drama. Next week HR has organized a luncheon to include all of the women in the company. There are women that don't work in my department that I get along with just fine. Yes, some people like me and some don't... but with me, what you see is what you get. I'm not pretending to be someone that I'm not. I'm not pretending to like you, when I don't. In the past, I used to pick up one of my coworkers lunch several times a week and I put up with her running a small space heater constantly every day even when it's 100 degrees outside. We have to share a very small office. From now on, I'm not going to be going above and beyond to accomodate someone that stabbed me in the back whenever she got the chance. If I can find work somewhere else, that would be good... but I'm aware that no matter where I go there will be things about the job and/or people that I don't like, or people that don't like me. The current job/situation is the devil I know.
Don't do favors for coworkers, don't give car rides. I block them off my FB page, I don't mingle with them outside of work, I don't even talk to them unless its something business/ work related. I had a former colleague that recently retired who on a few occasions would repeat what I said to our coworkers in our department. Don't trust anyone at work.
Thanks I like this.
Yay so glad!
Ignore them. Simple as that.
When I have to deal with a particularly nasty person, I try to see our interaction as a movie about other people, from the side. I guess I dissociate a bit but it help me to be less emotionally involved
Wallah you have made some great points.
Excellent informative video
Thank you, you literally saved my day. LOL
omg thank for posting this video im soo fucking grateful!!!!
i feel like i dont have anyone to talk to about this...and..im 24years old & imma girl and i made the mistake thinking i can be friends with my coworker.(someone who has BIG mouth) but she ended up telling everyone EVERYTHING ive been telling her.. and now im stuck looking like at bad guy...but she helped me realized how negative i can be and the bad vibes i give off...i dont trust her at all.. but im trying my best not to make it obvious that i dont like her.. (sorry if i dont make sense i had a couple shots) this been stressing me lately, so i deciding to looking up videos thatll help me.. and im soooo happy i came across your video.. i no now not to trust so easy....
😱 "its shocking because you are so awesome" ha, I love when she gets sarcastic.
What about if the person you don't like is training you for the new job. She is too impatient because I am on my 4 day at work haven't even finished training and the problem is she wanted to go to break and leave me by myself when I don't know anything about the job. I feel like she doesn't like me because I am not learning super fast
Your great! 👍
Thanks friend!
Sometimes you just don't like them ..the vibes are off
I feel better knowing that I'm not the only one in such a situation. And to make it worse the work colleague who turned all weird on me and flipped was a so-called close friend who didn't even have the decency to give me her time to say and prove that I didn't do what she accused me of. I even had the evidence to back myself up but she is so immature and not willing to listen. It kind of hurt for a long time when it happened as to how she never really knew me in the first place for her to even think that I would do what she said. Now I just feel sorry for her for being so thick and gullible. In that situation I actually found out who my true friends were that stood by me at that time. No wonder I prefer animals over humans as they just want unconditional love (& food) without any hidden agenda's unlike people. I prefer my own company rather than seeking out new friends as you just don't know what they will turn out like, which is a shame tbh :(
Nice video.😁
I’ve had to change who I am as a person to deal with a co-worker and I’ve become resentful of it. I work very closely with him and others actually and we have to drive together often. I’m actively looking for another job even if it pays less because of him. He was the only person who was an asshole to me on my first day. I think it was a dick measuring contest from day one even though I had zero interest in managing things. I’m just there for the money. It’s a bummer because it would be a pretty decent job without him. The days he isn’t there due to whatever reason are very stress free days.
Don't let this person drive you out of a job you enjoy and work hard in. He will be happy thinking he has won. Remain strong headed and stick to your guns Miles Away. There's always going to be people like him wherever you go. Don't let them win!
Co workers I have are at times just clueless, don't follow the rules, immature, etc.
I think alot of people on here need more good friends, , and dont have a life away from work,. Relying on work colleagues for social reasons.
Everything stated here is the truth 🗣