10 Secrets You Should NEVER Tell Coworkers

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 428

  • @VideoGameRoom32
    @VideoGameRoom32 ปีที่แล้ว +848

    Don't gossip, bad mouth another employee, don't share anything personal about yourself. You should only talk about only work related things. Just do your job and go home.

    • @Bunkerhillburning
      @Bunkerhillburning ปีที่แล้ว +58

      The only comments I have about co-workers are praise or compliments about how they handled a situation. I do my best to bite my tongue about the people who skate at work.
      What amazes me is the number of co-workers who think nothing of asking personal questions at work. Often times they'll become offended when I politely decline answering them. When did asking personal or financial questions become the norm?

    • @RocketVet
      @RocketVet ปีที่แล้ว +54

      Unfortunately the "quiet ones" are often targeted for that reason alone - the gossip and speculation only being limited by the imaginations of your coworkers who get to write your story for you. There isn't really anything you can do about this other than hope it doesn't happen to you, or simply move on each time it happens.

    • @wickedbird1538
      @wickedbird1538 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      😊😊I never say anything that I don’t want broadcasted.

    • @AxlAX
      @AxlAX ปีที่แล้ว +5

      That's everyday me! 😁

    • @victoriagraham6470
      @victoriagraham6470 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@Bunkerhillburning: Agree, I was asked by Payroll how many times a week do I have sex!

  • @amorosogombe9650
    @amorosogombe9650 ปีที่แล้ว +445

    Never tell your coworkers anything. They are pure jealous evil.

    • @romans52345-cy3tq
      @romans52345-cy3tq ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Even if the guy I'm telling it too is a handsome charming bonified ladies man? He would still be jealous of low status me??

    • @paleperson8296
      @paleperson8296 ปีที่แล้ว

      Obviously

    • @amorosogombe9650
      @amorosogombe9650 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@paleperson8296 No. Not obviously. You might be forgiven for thinking they were not arseholes only to be unpleasantly surprised.

    • @romans52345-cy3tq
      @romans52345-cy3tq ปีที่แล้ว

      @@paleperson8296 would he still be jealous of low status me?

    • @AnthonyManzio
      @AnthonyManzio ปีที่แล้ว +1

      100%

  • @anchy0027
    @anchy0027 ปีที่แล้ว +319

    My female colleague hangs out a lot with a one male colleague at work. They eat lunch together and gossip about other people. And they don't hide it. They often stick together. Recently a meeting was held without that male colleague and some people complained about his way of working.
    That female colleague who hangs out with him, took the opportunity to tell the director that the male colleague was not fit for the job and that she was willing to take over his part of the job.
    The director was delighted and praised the female colleague for her ability. After the meeting in which she spoke against that colleague, that female colleague again went to lunch with the colleague she had just beaten up to her boss acting like nothing was happened. I work in such a terrible environment.

    • @ka8155
      @ka8155 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      I'm in a terrible work environment too. I constantly pray.

    • @merakicedarwoods
      @merakicedarwoods ปีที่แล้ว +6

      😢😮😮😮

    • @AlexandraAlexandra-tr7wn
      @AlexandraAlexandra-tr7wn ปีที่แล้ว +2

      😢🙁

    • @gmar7836
      @gmar7836 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Email that supervisor and tell them they are about to promote a snitch

    • @anchy0027
      @anchy0027 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@gmar7836 I hear you. But it doesnt make a sense, because if I tell my supervisor that and he ask me to prove it, I cant prove to it to him. It will be like I gossip her.

  • @gmar7836
    @gmar7836 ปีที่แล้ว +227

    Three golden rules in the workplace, 1) mind your own business 2) worry about yourself 3) keep your own personal info to yourself. If no one else needs to know, don’t say anything

    • @AnthonyManzio
      @AnthonyManzio ปีที่แล้ว +10

      100% but there will always be flying monkeys.

    • @Sugarlips321
      @Sugarlips321 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Love this !

    • @gmar7836
      @gmar7836 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@AnthonyManzio flying monkeys??

  • @pabloseykata6930
    @pabloseykata6930 ปีที่แล้ว +509

    Never discuss your personal finances at work. If you are having debt issues, do not bring it u at work. Your co-workers can use it against you. Always understand that you can be friendly with your co-workers, but they are not your friends. And there are co-workers who will act like a friend who are not.

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +75

      The power dynamic shifts if people perceive financial insecurity - they'll know how much you need the job. This can be exploited by colleagues and leaders sadly.

    • @pabloseykata6930
      @pabloseykata6930 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@JenniferBrick Exactly! They will give you as many sh#t detail jobs they can because you are in personal debt trouble.

    • @PurpleYoda77
      @PurpleYoda77 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Yup 2face is not just a Batman villain they're work villains too 😎

    • @dead91alive
      @dead91alive ปีที่แล้ว +18

      A current coworker always mentioned that she was broke. So embarrassing on her part.

    • @mercedeswilkins5566
      @mercedeswilkins5566 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes

  • @ebikescrapper3925
    @ebikescrapper3925 ปีที่แล้ว +95

    Don't talk about
    Sexually history
    Criminal history
    Negative work history
    Financial history
    Keep work and private life seperate.

  • @bluefamily3937
    @bluefamily3937 ปีที่แล้ว +148

    My rule of thumb is to ask how everyone else is and get folks talking about themselves.

    • @galaxyglitterlatte4664
      @galaxyglitterlatte4664 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Good deal. It's human nature that people love talking about themselves. But they also love talking sh*t about others!!! 😒🙄😜

    • @rocketchico.2149
      @rocketchico.2149 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      This is what I do. They love to talk about themselves so it works very well

  • @seanc9507
    @seanc9507 ปีที่แล้ว +198

    One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was from a teacher who was known for keeping secrets hidden. Her motto: "Zip it, lock it, keep it in your pocket." Words to live by!

  • @Liz-wz8dh
    @Liz-wz8dh 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +62

    I now get why one of my bosses NEVER discussed his personal life. Just be aware that some coworkers will be nosy enough to reserach ANYTHING about you if you are the quiet type as well. I have noticed this with nosy coworkers who think you might be rich from the type of car you drive or where you live (if they work in an office and can see where you live or they know you from the neighborhood especially). They will literally try to look up info on you or use other coworkers to ask various questions so the information gets back to them.

    • @Lynn-ip9sh
      @Lynn-ip9sh 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      they pryed me so much bc of my car? asking me what my parents do? how much THEY MADE? Because i’m young and don’t believe i can afford my own materials.

  • @MondoBeno
    @MondoBeno 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +35

    You're 100% right. On my last job, I avoided any information about my life, and never complained to anyone about coworkers. I never gossiped, and it all saved my ass. When my supervisor said something bad about a long-time employee, I said nothing. When the other old timers said bad things about him, I said nothing. Read the 48 Laws of Power, it says to observe, but say nothing. That way you will know what's going on, and avoid getting in trouble.

  • @fabis0920
    @fabis0920 ปีที่แล้ว +180

    All this things are the ones that make me want to work remotely. No drama, no gossip and more than all no worrying about what others think, do or not do.

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +21

      It can still come up but the day to day drama is such easier to avoid!

    • @se2664
      @se2664 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Yet it’s impossible to get a fully remote job nowadays

    • @penitenttangent7346
      @penitenttangent7346 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Then when you get fired, it’s by zoom 😂

    • @victoriagraham6470
      @victoriagraham6470 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @fabis0902: In my head I call my home coworker "Sir Demand-Alot", and he is either wandering around, napping or bitching about food as he's on a diet. Yes it's my cat

    • @fabis0920
      @fabis0920 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@victoriagraham6470 You just made me laugh 😂

  • @pbird1638
    @pbird1638 ปีที่แล้ว +79

    "I trusted karma to do it's job, so that I can do mine." =GOLD

    • @AnthonyManzio
      @AnthonyManzio ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Not true bullies always get away since manager are scared of the bullies.

    • @sagi5461
      @sagi5461 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@AnthonyManzio they'll have to bear those sins in the next life anyways, so don't worry

    • @AnthonyManzio
      @AnthonyManzio 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@sagi5461 So true

    • @robertsitch1415
      @robertsitch1415 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I find that the bad fits at my current workplace are gone within a month anyway. I only share slightly more about my life at work than I do online and mostly just with my closet coworkers.

  • @LoveMusic-dv4sl
    @LoveMusic-dv4sl ปีที่แล้ว +101

    I never discuss anything personal at work even with coworkers that I like and im friendly with. The less people know the better it is. Its easier to let it be a mystery to them, and less for them to gossip about

  • @untouchable360x
    @untouchable360x ปีที่แล้ว +264

    Law 4 of the 48 Laws of Power: Always say less than necessary.

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +39

      Genuinely everyone needs to read this book. My copy is basically all highlighted with notes written all over it - it was everything I intuitively knew or had learned the hard way in corporate.

    • @TheUtuber999
      @TheUtuber999 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I would rephrase this to saying only what is necessary.

    • @danny470
      @danny470 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Also Law 5: "So much depends on reputation - guard it with your life"

    • @ismailisyaku7434
      @ismailisyaku7434 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@JenniferBrickLaw 46 also makes sure you don't foolishly go around telling people you got a raise

  • @mercedeswilkins5566
    @mercedeswilkins5566 ปีที่แล้ว +126

    Also avoid ppl who gossip and tell personal info of others

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +41

      If they're talking about others 💯 they'll talk about you too

    • @mercedeswilkins5566
      @mercedeswilkins5566 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@JenniferBrick yes

    • @journeytopointe
      @journeytopointe 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Hit the nail on the head 📌🎯

    • @AshtasticAcrobat
      @AshtasticAcrobat 11 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Yep!! Massive 🚩

  • @theguynextdoor4978
    @theguynextdoor4978 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    Trust nobody. I have experienced this first hand. I was accused of saying something I never said because someone was determined to misinterpret what I said. It backfired.

  • @Jazzmaster1992
    @Jazzmaster1992 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    Walls tend to be much thinner in workplaces than most of us think. If you ever have any doubts about sharing something with even one person at work, you probably shouldn't share it at all.

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +6

      This is so perfectly said, Ian.

    • @Jazzmaster1992
      @Jazzmaster1992 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@JenniferBrick thank you. I wish I'd found your channel sooner, your content from the past year would have been a life saver when I went through an awful job situation last summer. Regardless, keep doing what you do.

  • @jolenereader5527
    @jolenereader5527 ปีที่แล้ว +218

    My husband and I , after 27 yrs marriage, bought our dream house. We worked very hard to get to this point in our life. But I’am uncomfortable talking about it at work because people think you are bragging or that you must have a lot of money. No, I wish they could understand that we suffered and sacrificed to buy this home and we are very proud of it.
    I might of heard this on here. People don’t mind if you do well, but do like it if you do better than they are. I’ve noticed this also includes family.

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +37

      People make all sorts of assumptions, which never include working hard, saving money, and sacrificing short term for long term in those assumptions.

    • @se2664
      @se2664 ปีที่แล้ว

      Where did you buy your house?

    • @PremiumUserUltra
      @PremiumUserUltra ปีที่แล้ว +2

      They don't care, quit it

    • @MyViolingirl
      @MyViolingirl ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Agree! I saw this firsthand with a few family members

    • @florencia2771
      @florencia2771 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Why talk about it? Not everyone can buy a house. Share this with your best friend and leave it at that.

  • @coffeewiththeunknown8302
    @coffeewiththeunknown8302 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    I wouldn’t even tell my co workers that I have kids

  • @Stinger522
    @Stinger522 ปีที่แล้ว +156

    Whenever my coworkers ask me what I'm doing on the weekend, I always say nothing that matters here. I have to maintain that wall between the world of the job and the world of me.

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +24

      That's totally fair. You're entitled to boundaries.

    • @Stinger522
      @Stinger522 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@JenniferBrick Thank you.

    • @Uksoapfan
      @Uksoapfan ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @@Stinger522 I think they like to ask personal questions so they can find a way to gossip about you behind your back. Hence why they hate quiet workers.

    • @Stinger522
      @Stinger522 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@Uksoapfan in my experience, quiet pros are the best pros.

    • @Uksoapfan
      @Uksoapfan ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@Stinger522 If I was a boss I would be down like a tonne of bricks on employees who like to gossip and talk and their mind rarely on the job. Sadly unions and laws seem to protect useless workers, if you call them workers.

  • @RonTodd-gb1eo
    @RonTodd-gb1eo ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Always listen to gossip. Never spread it. Don't believe it but be prepared for it being true.

    • @theloner7512
      @theloner7512 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      And be prepared when it is used against you...ALWAYS!

  • @billyflanagan9657
    @billyflanagan9657 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    I never go to any company parties

    • @AnthonyManzio
      @AnthonyManzio ปีที่แล้ว +5

      true

    • @rocketchico.2149
      @rocketchico.2149 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Same never I tell them straight up I’m antisocial I will not enjoy it and they leave me alone

  • @lovelyA933
    @lovelyA933 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    I used to share tips with my coworkers when something happened to me and I learned something new, and I wanted to share it because I didn't want them making the same mistake or encountering the same issue but I've realized they don't do the same for me, either of them. They don't share any new info or tips, it's always just me, and I feel like that makes my "mistakes" more noticeable or obvious, when they make mistakes I don't even realize it until our supervisor brings it up as a "learning experience" without pointing fingers. One time I gave a coworker that was being misunderstood by our supervisor advice, I told her to explain the situation and clear things up but then they both became cold and disregarded me altogether and even made me look or feel like I was being difficult ....this is something I've had to learn the hard way too, don't try to give "advice" or tips when it is not asked of you, people don't like that and instead it makes you look bad. I just don't want people making the same mistakes I am if it can be avoided, but oh well we all gotta learn somehow and I need to stop with my hero complex lol...

  • @omararturoramirez5262
    @omararturoramirez5262 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Zero sharing. Happiness loves privacy!

  • @isabelleetchebarren8981
    @isabelleetchebarren8981 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    I have a co worker that is always telling everyone her personal stuff. Besides telling everyone at work she posts it on Facebook. I’m the opposite I believe that you should keep your personal life to yourself.

  • @mercedeswilkins5566
    @mercedeswilkins5566 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    Don’t tell anybody not even your boss your personal matters unless you want it shared with everyone. I understand you have to tell the boss why you have to go hiatus aka leave for a while like a family emergency, medical leave but don’t give too much away.

    • @FruityHachi
      @FruityHachi ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I had coworkers who constantly overshared, telling me details of their private life I didn't ask and didn't want to know, it really got on my nerves, they got offended when I didn't want to listen to them, so glad I no longer work there

    • @krobbins5302
      @krobbins5302 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      very true. In my office, a co-worker was out on disability for two months due to a psychiatric condition. How do I know this- because her pissed off supervisor who was having to pick up the slack in her absence let it 'slip'. Assume everything you say to anyone at the company will become as public as putting it in an email to all of your co-workers.

    • @buttaflyantics8618
      @buttaflyantics8618 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I had a coworker open her my chart and asked me to read her the results to her 😬 I was mortified, like wtf is going on. I told her no and she proceeded to place her phone on my desk and open it anyway. I dont need to know what you have unless its covid lady get away from me 😂😂

  • @krobbins5302
    @krobbins5302 ปีที่แล้ว +85

    I have lost out on 10 years of raises due to the perception at work that I come from money all due to me inheriting enough money for a downpayment for a house in a SoCal suburb. I was 25 and stupidly thought my co-workers were friends so I explained how I bought my house and asked for time off for the closing, etc. 10 years later- all my co-worker have heard from a chatty co-worker about my 'winfall'. I'm the one who doesn't need a raise-ever. When I sold that house for a nice profit- I told no one but HR that my address changed. Tell co-workers nothing! the same chatty co-worker told everyone another co-worker was rich merely for taking horse riding lesson because apparently only rich people do that.

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I'm sorry you went through that 💜

    • @SenyoritaStoic
      @SenyoritaStoic ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Oh, that was bad! Sorry to hear that.

    • @SoLongMarianne_
      @SoLongMarianne_ ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I'm sorry to hear that, people can be so mean 😓 What about looking for another job?

  • @Debrody1
    @Debrody1 ปีที่แล้ว +150

    Two teachers (who were friends) both applied for the same assistant principal position. The interview was on a Friday. That night they went out drinking. Catherine (name changed) had too much to drink and slept on Jen's (name changed) couch. That Monday Jen went in and told everyone Catherine had too much to drink and it got back to the interview committee. Who got the job? Catherine! In my opinion for two reasons. 1. No one likes a back stabber. 2. We all make mistakes. It is sixteen years later and Catherine moved up to principal. Jen is still trying to become assistant principal. She has literally been passed over in the district 40 plus times. Jen is now approaching 60 and still trying. So dumb.

    • @florencia2771
      @florencia2771 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      That didn’t apply to my case. The covert narcissist woman who backstabbed me, STOLE my ideas, was condescending, patronizing etc. is the one who was promoted. So, it all depends on the company. Of course she was a sweetheart to all managers.

    • @pibly7784
      @pibly7784 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      WHAT does OUTSIDE activity have to do with TRUE JOB ABILITY?

    • @faribareads
      @faribareads ปีที่แล้ว +16

      ​@@pibly7784 Unfortunately, when you work with children, everything you do is scrutinized.

  • @stever507
    @stever507 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Some people just blurt out everything you tell them. They won’t do it maliciously, they just say everything. Like children. Better not to say too much.

  • @taurahelms3068
    @taurahelms3068 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Oh, I know the boundary between personal and professional. I don't discuss my private life at all. I only bring up things that could reasonably jeopardize my position. Co-workers are not your friends in most cases, so I do my job and go home. Far as sharing your ambitions, don't. In the past few years, I've had people try and trick me into telling them things and I refuse.

    • @SenyoritaStoic
      @SenyoritaStoic ปีที่แล้ว +4

      And how did you refuse? What words do you usually tell 'em?

  • @buckfiden946
    @buckfiden946 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I make up the most ridiculous stories at work to keep the rumor mill going. Sometimes I call in late and dress like I just got out of an interview just to let my boss know what’s up.

  • @williamproctor4388
    @williamproctor4388 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    I know my big mouth prevented me from from advancing into management at my Company. Listen to this advice and shut up!!!!😂

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I'm sorry you learned the hard way 🥺

  • @1Carly
    @1Carly ปีที่แล้ว +39

    My motto is always 'keep it civil,keep it moving'

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I like it!

    • @BB23573
      @BB23573 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Yesss! I’m like this with my store manager. I keep it civil. I talk work related, do not get personal and maintain job task. I don’t trust him at all. He is two-faced. Don’t trust someone that gossips to you about others. Make sure to keep your life separate from work.

  • @siobahnhurley85
    @siobahnhurley85 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Hearing all of these, is making me realize, I may not have played it as safe as I thought I had.
    I tried very hard not to share too much with my coworkers, (because I didn’t trust them anyway). There were times I did feel it necessary to share things happening in my life. Like having too much on my plate, and asking my supervisor for time off. Telling my supervisor about my engagement, and answering questions about my plans for the wedding…guess where my supervisor is going for HER wedding, after she railroaded me into getting fired?

  • @billyflanagan9657
    @billyflanagan9657 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    If you're good at your job coworkers know it and will be jealous so do your best to get even better it drives them nuts

  • @dylanakent
    @dylanakent ปีที่แล้ว +63

    Your videos are very helpful but what we really need is not just "don't tell your personal business to co-workers and bosses" but HOW EXACTLY to shut them down WITHOUT making a scene or getting them all twisted up. This is especially hard when you work in a small office or department where grudges thrive. I've had co-workers ask directly "are you married? Do you have kids' etc.?" What exactly is the response to that line of questioning if you don't want to share but don't want to start major drama because IT WILL. They will keep coming back and gossip loudly "SHE/HE/THEY are hiding something/don't want to be friendly/are not team players, etc" if you stay quiet. People are relentless. And now IF you get past probation depends on whether your co-workers "like you or not", not only on the work you do. (Oh yes, this is real!). Next level advice is needed.

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I made a video on how to shut down coworkers. Just go to my recent videos, it's there!

    • @kpdivination7098
      @kpdivination7098 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Try to give short answers then ask them what they like in regards to pop culture, movies, etc. People love to talk about themselves. Just keep the spotlight focused on them and keep the conversation superficial so you seem friendly and there's no drama 🎭 good luck🍀

    • @AnthonyManzio
      @AnthonyManzio ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That's pure harassments. Tell them to stop harassing you. They will stop. Don't be afraid to put your foot down.

    • @AnthonyManzio
      @AnthonyManzio ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@dijoxx No that's how you regain respect by confronting them. If you don't it will only escalate.

  • @mercedeswilkins5566
    @mercedeswilkins5566 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    If you have a problem with a co-worker especially your boss, or vice versa, DO NOT TALK TO THEM ON THE PHONE 📞. They will record you and y’all conversation without you noticing.

    • @seth7712
      @seth7712 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Same with having the convo recorded on a cell phone

  • @sab_1055
    @sab_1055 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Not having children can influence salary and promotion counter intuitively.

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +7

      FIle it in the damned if we do damned if we don't column 🤦‍♀️

  • @eman0828
    @eman0828 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Had one co-worker that told another co-worker about his wife not having a period 😂. Man that's just crossing the line right there. People tell way too much of their personal business and they aren't even your friends outside of work.

    • @alanabear3684
      @alanabear3684 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yes, i had one co worker who im cool with tell my other coworker who likes her by the way about her personal life and when he didnt get what he wants from her or he gets pissy with her he starts spreading around her business and she just takes it. He even did it in front of her and still she just sits there and lets it happen its crazy

    • @pantherman8719
      @pantherman8719 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      When I started a different in a new dept, dude told me about another dude (who I have no clue about) something about the guy got some chick pregnant and has multiple sexual misconducts.... he told me something about EEEEVERYONE. Automatically could not trust him. Had to stay away as much as possible.

  • @mercedeswilkins5566
    @mercedeswilkins5566 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    People definitely don’t like it if you’re getting paid more than them and you’re in the same position as them. So don’t talk about finances or pay rate aka wages at work or outside work either.

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I'm here for pay transparency, but it sucks when you find out your underpaid, you your colleague is underpaid and then knowing doesn't fix it. I'm going to talk about this in another video!

    • @mercedeswilkins5566
      @mercedeswilkins5566 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@JenniferBrick thank you Jennifer

    • @se2664
      @se2664 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Honestly that’s important to know

  • @lorettaknoelk3475
    @lorettaknoelk3475 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    Yeah the $25,000 in debt thing was something I had one coworker do that. We all started judging her even if we didn't want to think about her that type of much.
    But everyday she was talking about how much money she DIDN'T have. Which roommate wasn't paying and how much she lost on scratch offs.
    She has no boundaries.

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +4

      When I hear stories like this I imagine myself jumping into the situation like 'nooooooooo shhhhhhh"

    • @lorettaknoelk3475
      @lorettaknoelk3475 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@JenniferBrick Right!!
      She is older than me, so she certainly doesn't take suggestions or advice from me. She made that clear.
      But she started talking about drama with her daughter and I walked away from her. With a "must be tough," over my shoulder.
      It's literally always some Debbie Downer drama.
      1. With the neighbor
      2. With her roommates
      3. With the front desk
      4. With the new coworker

  • @mikemallano2484
    @mikemallano2484 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I remember talking to a guy in the lunch room about some private matters, and of course everyone was listening in. Never, never again will I say things out loud like this. It took 6 months, or longer for them to quit hassling me over what I said.

  • @SteveDave5763
    @SteveDave5763 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    What’s interesting about this is at a previous job gossip was totally weaponized and management encouraged it.

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +7

      That sounds toxic af

    • @SteveDave5763
      @SteveDave5763 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@JenniferBrick it totally was toxic AF.

    • @AnthonyManzio
      @AnthonyManzio ปีที่แล้ว +3

      They are all scared of bullies that's why bullies never get fired

  • @mercedeswilkins5566
    @mercedeswilkins5566 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    Never talk about your finances at work especially your pay rate. Too much jealousy and people don’t like when you’re doing better than them.

  • @TheNova64000
    @TheNova64000 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    I work alot of overtime because I am saving up to buy a house. I am reluctant to talk about my home ownership goals at work because some people might assume that I have money coming in from somewhere else since the housing market here in Los Angeles makes it very hard for a young person to buy anything as first time buyer.

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +7

      People project their stories into it and make strange assumptions. Sending you savings and dream real estate vibes!

  • @LadyJpraise2024unbound
    @LadyJpraise2024unbound 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I just lost it at work....today. A co-worker I never trusted or liked it was confirmed. This is a gutter toxic workplace, and I fell into the gutter. I hate that I have joined the gutter ranks. Pray I get out of this toxic place so I can heal, please

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Sending you soooo many vibes.

  • @joeriveracomedy
    @joeriveracomedy ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I straight up told my boss I am financially well off in hopes he wouldn't offer me MORE promotions. I just need the check. Not responsibility.

  • @rominagresely526
    @rominagresely526 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    My husband told everyone at his job about my surgery. I told him it's none of their business. He's friendly and thinks everyone is. Also, when a new employee is hired he finds out how many kids they have, marital status and country of origin and tells them where my parents are from. I wish he'd stop.

    • @imanbeheshti6557
      @imanbeheshti6557 ปีที่แล้ว

      finally it will happen. I wish he would stop either

  • @ArcaneA422
    @ArcaneA422 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I got promoted to a lead position in April. I was so excited for my new role, but immediately was shocked at the amount of gossip that goes on between all the leads and supervisors in my department. They talk about EVERYONE and whatever they have going on in their personal lives. I know they must do the same about me. Needless to say I am looking for a different role elsewhere because I can’t deal with the toxicity.

  • @wadeinskeep4866
    @wadeinskeep4866 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I use to tell people I didn't trust a secret mostly not true ....only them to see if it got back to me.

  • @feliznavidad6958
    @feliznavidad6958 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    The thing is, you don't have to talk; people will makeup things about you simply if you exist and provoke things in them just by existing.

  • @mercedeswilkins5566
    @mercedeswilkins5566 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Don’t confuse gossiping and reporting someone for an illegal behavior.

    • @AnthonyManzio
      @AnthonyManzio ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Harassments at work is a joke. 70% of the staff are bullies

    • @terrytitus5291
      @terrytitus5291 ปีที่แล้ว

      But their your "friends"!

    • @AnthonyManzio
      @AnthonyManzio ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@terrytitus5291 Good friends don't gossip and harasser you.

  • @beasaroze5596
    @beasaroze5596 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Petty coworkers make stuff up.

  • @fizzy1550
    @fizzy1550 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I hate that I can't just shut my mouth... I am such a dumb open book because I was always taught being open and honest was best... but now all it is doing is biting me in the ass and making me lose everything...

  • @LensForgotten
    @LensForgotten 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Your social acceptance and your tactical social skills are so underrated for workplace survival.

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I agree. Just gonna keep sharing till they catch on!

  • @TheUtuber999
    @TheUtuber999 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    It's not realistic to completely clam up about personal details to coworkers. To not share anything personal at all is a red flag and essentially comes across as an admission that you have things to hide. I think the best approach is to consciously decide ahead of time what you are willing to share, assuming that it will be known by everyone else. Keep the juicy stuff to yourself and disseminate gossip fodder sparingly, but mindfully. Let them gossip about the trivial stuff that doesn't really matter to your professional reputation.

  • @crownedgambit
    @crownedgambit 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I have this 1 coworker always asking me. Why is management always calling you in for extra hours to work and why are they training you in advance level projects?
    I just reply with. “I have no idea. 🤷‍♂️. I’m just under the impression everyone gets the same training.”

  • @j.rrabbit
    @j.rrabbit ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I think the self-tattling is situational. It's good to take ownership if you messed up especially if you're a leader or trainner. Ive worked with people who cannot admit they messed up so they gaslight everyone else, and had a lot of colleagues quit within a year.

    • @AnthonyManzio
      @AnthonyManzio ปีที่แล้ว +2

      true but don't quit and never let these lazy bums ever win.

  • @swiftkarma4436
    @swiftkarma4436 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I am so glad my situation was the exception. I met my best friend 18 yrs ago at work while I was her supervisor. Here we are more like sisters and she is the God parent of my child.

  • @chimsgraphic
    @chimsgraphic ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I hate office politics. I never played it at my former companies. I never worked to please my bosses or anyone, I jst did my fckin job, full stop.

    • @brandonhealy7158
      @brandonhealy7158 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yep I’m just doing my job and hoping I’m good enough, I’m not licking any behinds, just being my polite self

  • @EXPRECDJ
    @EXPRECDJ ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Male work bestie = Side dude. 💯💯💯

  • @mercedeswilkins5566
    @mercedeswilkins5566 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Also, never send gossip text or phone call/voicemail because ppl saved them and will use them against you when y’all fall out. And yes they will record y’all conversations without you knowing it.

  • @vikastiwari6780
    @vikastiwari6780 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Never share anything do your job and go home.........😊
    That's reality..
    I will plan to left corporate soon.

  • @billyflanagan9657
    @billyflanagan9657 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I tell people I have no mortgage and I have lots of money in the bank. They get jealous because they are Loser's 😂

    • @AnthonyManzio
      @AnthonyManzio ปีที่แล้ว

      100%. Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life.

    • @AnthonyManzio
      @AnthonyManzio ปีที่แล้ว +2

      100% same here

    • @agentswankster9817
      @agentswankster9817 ปีที่แล้ว

      I love your way of thinking 🥇🥇🥇🥇

  • @fromwithin4254
    @fromwithin4254 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Recently my boss(female) felt the need to ask me if I am s*xually active in front of my co workers and if I(female) am interested in some Co workers...all I said was I am not interested and not searching, I found it disturbing that a boss can have no level of professionalism....m married and don't feel the need to be announcing that to co workers or bosses. How do I handle such people/questions other than being busy coz work is involving so sometimes I want to take a sit?

  • @KingNeutral1
    @KingNeutral1 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    So glad I work from home cause these office politics…whew 😩

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Politics still exist remotely - anytime you have human interaction there's psychology and power at play.

    • @Eastsid3
      @Eastsid3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      ​@@JenniferBrick yup, even on our virtual meetings one of my coworkers suck up to and brown noses the boss so much.

  • @Liz-wz8dh
    @Liz-wz8dh 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Just had some of these issues, but mostly with difficult coworkers. One had a pretty bad mental health problem so it was hard for me to hide my dislike for her when she was being moody and prolbematic because management didn't want to do anything either. I just have certain buttons and her behaviors kept pressing them. It also doesn't help when management won't manage so you really can't trust them to deal with your concerns reasonably or consistently. It can leave you without a way to really deal with the stress and understandable venting can become perceived as toxic by the same managers who won't do anything to help minimize the problems. It's very frustrating.

  • @Chriskamaras
    @Chriskamaras ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I've followed you from the beginning. Your videos get better every time and you have helped me a lot!

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You're so kind to say that, Chris.

  • @deusvultpictures6550
    @deusvultpictures6550 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I learned this the hard way recently, I will NEVER put myself in that position again. From now on, I will only speak when spoken to - anything and EVERYTHING you say can and WILL be used against you.

  • @virginiamoss7045
    @virginiamoss7045 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    God, this sounds just awful! I spent 40 years being self-employed and always wondered if that was the right decision. Now I know it definitely was. How do people, evidently most people, put up with this unnecessary stress? What a waste of effort and energy! No wonder so many people suffer from anxiety and depression. My anxiety came from my clients, each one (like a boss) different from the others, but I could figure out how to handle each one, on my terms, with no one else interfering. I must have done it well since I retained the same clients for decades throughout my career which was highly efficient because I never had to contend with all the stuff in this video.

    • @littlemomentsofjoy1653
      @littlemomentsofjoy1653 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you for writing this, I was also wondering if I took the right decision since I graduated in 2017 , was always in doubt, I’m quite shy but had many opportunities to go to different companies to work but don’t know why something will always come up that I couldn’t join those companies in the end, so maybe it really was destiny. Even though I’m not earning as much as I would if I worked in one of those companies, now I have more courage and confidence that this is really the right path for me, I just need to learn how to work smarter and more efficiently I guess. Thank you✨

    • @virginiamoss7045
      @virginiamoss7045 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@littlemomentsofjoy1653 It's a trade off; less financial security for more peace and freedom and I could work out of my home. My income was uneven, but higher, eventually, than I could have made at a job. The key for me was having a back up of savings from a modest inheritance; one year all I made was $9,000 due to the Atlanta Olympics shutting down my clients businesses. I didn't sweat it, but it did diminish my savings significantly. Also, if I didn't like a client, I could manage to avoid them saying I could not get to them in a timely manner and referred them to someone else who could; often that was actually true as I was overwhelmed with work. All the clients I kept were super people, companies that were well managed and paid on time. In my whole career I lost a total of $3,000 uncollected. I'm told that's unheard of for any company or self-employed person. Wishing you success! Remember, if you fail, you are no further behind than you are right now so you will lose nothing by trying (except maybe your savings).

  • @geargeekpdx3566
    @geargeekpdx3566 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I'll do you one better: tell nobody anything EVER at work. Be a pleasant robot. That is the ONLY way you MIGHT not get fired. MIGHT.

  • @charleshart5563
    @charleshart5563 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I somewhat disagree, I reached out to my boss I had trouble with my car constantly because it was old. It was affecting my work because I didn't want to buy a new one and pay a lot of money. He got me a solid raise and helped me get the new ride. I talked to him about it and he was very cool about it.

  • @davidellis5141
    @davidellis5141 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    Good Morning 🌞 Jennifer ! I learned the hard way , not to share fiscal information with some coworkers as I was hit up for loans which I was uncomfortable doing & had to refuse. Mums 🤫 the word at work when in doubt ! Hope you & your family have a great summer ☀️ !

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Loaning money is such a loaded thing when it's to friends and family (I always expect not to get it back, because mostly you won't) - but with coworkers. So inappropriate for them to ask. Hope you have a great summer too!

  • @LindseyObrooke
    @LindseyObrooke ปีที่แล้ว +8

    You are my work bestie, Jen!!

    • @juleshappy741
      @juleshappy741 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I can really relate to your comment about the pandemic creating this isolated work situation. Thankfully, I’m starting to branch out and connect with people in other departments now. Yet, for the last few years, I was too close to “the team”. Sharing too much. I’m wiser now!

    • @LindseyObrooke
      @LindseyObrooke 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@juleshappy741 I was trying to be on a friend-level. I have been working on some extreme self awareness because I messed up some relationships that I really cared about because of it. And I am not being promoted, though I --maybe naively-- think I am a good candidate for that. It's been character building nonetheless!! It'll set me up great for my next career move. They haven't seemed to forgive some of the over-chattiness in the past, and I am working on leadership skills/political stance within myself, so there's no room for me to grow here anymore. But that's okay because it's really not anything I want to be doing -- everything's a learning lesson!

  • @CCCP85
    @CCCP85 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Sometimes we are too joyful and kind hearted at the workplace which makes others just mind their own business, but that's not true. Always be like a spy with a smile on your face, never reveal what matters to you....limit to few generic and corporate conversations which are too general. But the question is how we are going to make our friends or supporters around... Please make a video guide on this topic

  • @marshalepage5330
    @marshalepage5330 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I gave up working a over a decade ago. This video just makes me want to give up again even though I was considering returning.

    • @marshalepage5330
      @marshalepage5330 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I hate politics, why can't people just let someone exist.

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Humans gonna human 🤷‍♀️

  • @Daria-og4fl
    @Daria-og4fl ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I'm really sorry I haven't watched this video 6 mothns ago when I got a new job. The amount of stress I felt after making the 1st mistake that was mentioned in the video, and it was right in the beginning, so it felt x2 harder. I mean srsly, if anyone at your work tells you something, you should ALWAYS think before you decide to share this info with anyone. Anything can be used against you, and somtimes by people, you would less expect it from.

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Knowledge is power when you use it correctly. It's a liability if you don't. I hope things are going better for you now 💜

  • @bp227x
    @bp227x ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Considering coworkers adversaries seems like a self fulfilling prophecy...

  • @uma9183
    @uma9183 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    you are going right path, please make more video on the office politics handling

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I link to one of the videos I made about office politics at the end of this one!

    • @uma9183
      @uma9183 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@JenniferBrick Thank you, is it any Live sessions ma'am

  • @JenniferBrick
    @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +12

    What's behind all of this? Politics. But they don't need to be dirty, gross, or complicated. Actually, they're easy AF once you know the five power moves to play office politics and win. Learn them here: th-cam.com/video/dmHuvikWcqM/w-d-xo.html
    PS: Who got the Schrödinger's cat reference? Short yourself out here 📦🐈

  • @mystrength5640
    @mystrength5640 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    You soo Correct.,
    People are Selfish- and cruel.
    Keep Private Business to yourself.. 🎉

  • @sedwards6213
    @sedwards6213 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I’ve been forced to share aspects about my life. I had an interview recently where they wanted to know about my private life. I have health issues too. Then I’m discriminated against in the hiring process too. The jobs market is terrible in the UK though.

  • @isabelleetchebarren8981
    @isabelleetchebarren8981 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I agree with you! I have a new co working that came in one day showing me a mug that her late husband gave her and how much it meant to her. Her marriage anniversary was coming up. Her husband had passed away 2 years ago. Then a couple days later she comes in during her lunch with her boyfriend that she has been with for 1 year. 😂

  • @mrfriendly9956
    @mrfriendly9956 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    What an interesting clip. My initial thought is that you are worried that you might give away information to co-workers so perhaps others feel this way.

  • @timjarvis9078
    @timjarvis9078 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    When I worked as a tech operator for a company in New Zealand where I used to live all this negative politics and back stabbing was very common amongst the co workers. People who you got along with well and had good common ground with would turn on you in a jiffy. You would be pulled aside by management because some overzealous and jealous co worker told on you for something you weren’t originally involved with but somehow all became your fault as you were the one left dealing with the problem in the end. Favoritism was rife and only those who were on the same playing field or followed the trends were promoted over hard working genuine employees who’ve been there years longer over these new comers who knew very little but were promoted because they rubbed shoulders with management. Toxic workplaces are dangerous to your mental health and well being the job was soul destroying to say at least dealing with crazies on the phone and then dealing with crazies in the office who are out to get one another. I made the mistake of telling a co worker about my financial situation in my early 20s back in the 2008 era, the person I rented an apartment with was allergic to paying bills and paying his rent causing so much stress and anxiety with endless phone calls letters txts and emails plus pop ins from the landlord which drove me bat shit crazy to say the least, this girl at my job told my boss about it and then things became rather unpleasant in the workplace after that.

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Sounds like an intensely political environment.

  • @danabanana3453
    @danabanana3453 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Remeber, your coworkers are not your friends out side of work. So don't bring personal information into the work place.

  • @pantherman8719
    @pantherman8719 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I remember this one nurse cursed soo much but she was actually funny. I kept thinking "yo how is she getting away with that?" Lol

  • @NoName-zb1gm
    @NoName-zb1gm 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I've been supporting my parents for a long time and about 10 years ago I stopped telling my co-workers and bosses about it because they used that information against me and to judge me. I literally lie because everyone thinks everyone else's life is their business instead of judging me by my work.

  • @focusedallday5620
    @focusedallday5620 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Huge facts on not letting people know your next move. Stay Focused!

  • @Henryz90
    @Henryz90 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I have been many times in trap situation where coworkers start insulting boss and try to get me insult and say bad opinions to attack into me with that later

  • @Andy-kx5yv
    @Andy-kx5yv ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Move in silence ☻

  • @mkervelegan
    @mkervelegan ปีที่แล้ว +8

    As always, excellent and precise advice from Jennifer. Just listen to her whenever you have a career-based question and you can't go wrong, regardless of what endeavor you're pursuing. She should be teaching personnel management at a post-grad level with her knowledge base and invaluable insights.

    • @JenniferBrick
      @JenniferBrick  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I appreciate you 💜

    • @AnthonyManzio
      @AnthonyManzio ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@JenniferBrick Bullies should all be fired on the spot.

  • @FlashDance002
    @FlashDance002 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Too many I know told when they were job hunting, some genuine folks that showed interest rarely got promoted or took longer, seems the unskilled or low skilled git them and some were no different than one that didn't get it..and I know a lot talk of money

  • @Understatedalways
    @Understatedalways ปีที่แล้ว +3

    When a major employer in a smaller town has the monopoly ...it becomes a very lonely place, because no one can be trusted.

  • @azeemhoosain4004
    @azeemhoosain4004 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    it's always best to keep work business info all the way, if you have personal problems rather speak to someone outside the work circle or see a counsellor.
    Also, remember if you share sensitive personal info and those co-workers leave for new companies they never interact with you but they now know all your secret info.

  • @bah-bah29hinks7
    @bah-bah29hinks7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I just talk about my cats🤣

  • @victoriagraham6470
    @victoriagraham6470 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    2 gossip stories from my work: First story: I lost alot of weight due to thyroid issue and have to take daily pill. I was getting it out one day at work to take it and a coworker asked "is that your appetite surrpressor since you lost alot of weight"? I told her "no". Second story: Human Resources (I was reception) asked me to update an emergency contact list to display on the bulletin board for co-workers and some of the places I had to actually call to check to see if the number was still correct.. A few of the places were Rape Crisis, AA, NA, gambling addiction, HIV and AIDS, Mental Health, etc. Sadly the story that came back to me in the office was " that girl has a lot of problems"

  • @JP-qx2wb
    @JP-qx2wb ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I really try to keep work and personal life separated. People from my job (hospital setting) constantly spend weekends and even vacation time together…oh hell no… I can’t imagine. I leave at 4pm and I don’t want to hear from any of them past that time lol

  • @y_yy_2844
    @y_yy_2844 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Correct... you always want to put on a smiley game face and then politely make your exit when you can. Do this repeatedly to set expectations. No one will notice and you get to come across as super nice and fun BUT never provide drama fuel.
    "Everything's great! 😄 Summer weather sure is heating up! 😎Saw the funniest cat video on TH-cam!😸 Another work email just came in, gotta go! Let's catch up at lunch! 🥪 " (Narrator: They didn't catch up at lunch. Ever.)

  • @tijeraslack3
    @tijeraslack3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    One of the reasons why I think EAP’s are program. It eliminates your or others discussing personal business outside the workplace that can be a stressor. As for secrets within the workplace and me working in HR, it’s a lot of stuff you cannot talk about. Keep to yourself because it will fall in the wrong hands.