THAI WOMEN Married To Western Men - The PROBLEMS They Can Face ! (My Thailand Story Part 4)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ย. 2024
- Today's video is about the problems Thai women married to Westerners can face. I’m talking from personal experiences but highlight other issues that may arise. Please subscribe and feel free to leave a comment.
My Thailand story playlist below:
Hi guys, I forgot to leave the playlist for earlier episodes in the description. Started out as an FAQ video series, but has turned into a proper My Thailand story with part 5 and maybe even 6 on the way lol. All the best. playlist - th-cam.com/play/PL90oZabZ2sL_rA988hT43qtVvhHmlQ-ld.html
Thank you for your story very interesting. I live in Vietnam and have been married for 10 years . We have a lovely 6 year old daughter. The house is in my wife’s name , it’s an ok house but no land , typical Vietnamese terraced house. When we brought it she was telling everybody that we was renting, I found this very strange but she said the Vietnamese are very jealous and I came to realize what she was saying is true especially if they are married to a foreigner. We lead a very quiet lifestyle we don’t even have a car just a couple of Honda motorbikes. We have just had the house painted and new glass doors put on , they look very nice but the first thing the Vietnamese say is how much. What ever you by the first thing they would ask is how much. Thanks for the uploads.
Cheers, the how much ? Used to happen a lot, but haven't bought anything for a while. 😁 All the best mate.👍
Ohh same in the Philippines :-)
Well, James, you hit the nail right on the head. Asian culture tends to take care of their family. It's just a way of life. The difference is that Western culture tends to respect individualism and self-dependant, so it can be a form of culture shock. Thailand is a third-world country so the money will always be a factor. Westerners should realize this before marrying an impoverished Thai girl/guy here. So, if you don't want to adopt an entire family then think twice before marrying her. Lastly, Asians are just plain racists. It prides itself on wealth, skin color, and beauty. You can hear and see it in everyday conversations and everywhere. I ought to know since I'm a dark skin Thai man. No matter how much education or money I have, Thai people will never see below my skin color, however, it is much better than it was, so there is still hope.
As a black man I hope that one day that changes for your people. colorism is an awful thing.
@@BlackCryptoCartel It won't be in your or my lifetime, but it will change. It's not just here, but all over the world.
Great comment and yes I have to agree about racism here and Asia as a whole. I don't discuss it much on my channel, but I've heard jaw dropping remarks from my wife's relatives towards other ethnicities. All the best. 👍
The best thing for my wife was living in the states 6 years . There she saw people didn't judge her . When she moved back to Thailand , what people thought , she could careless . Same today 12 years here .
My wife spent 20 years in California. We worked at Costco and was loving the hard work there. Coming back now had her more disappointed in her own people in some ways.
Seeing another way of life /culture can certainly change one's perspective and helper filter out any negativity. Cheers.👍
My wife has lived in the US for 8 years and it is amazing how much Thai face saving issue still directs the way she feels and acts. Thailand has a wonderful culture, but the stratification,class system and focus on color has a horrible psychological impact on its people. Have enjoyed your videos and this series in particular.
Cheers Joe, I feel the same way. Love Thailand but certain aspects can grind a bit. Goes for every culture I suppose.👍
@@jamesabroad8589 Venez en France nous ne serez pas déçu....
Fascinating story, I met my wife on 2001, an on off relationship until we married in 2006, we have a couple of homes and couple of kids, I had hoped to have relocated to Thailand and settle until my wife talked about her fears for the girls (both daughters) my wife being a teacher and very familiar having worked in both Thai gov and international schools, it came as a bit of a shock to me as I had no inclination of potential problems for the kids. So now we spend the summers and occasionally xmas in our Thai home.
We never experienced problems with my daughter Annie. It does depend on a few different factors and being aware of behaviours that might occur. Good luck with your future plans.👍
Great video, James. I can relate to some of it. My Thai wife came to America on a K1 fiance visa in 2007. I was worried that she would be lonely and bored with no family or friends while I went to work every day, but she got along amazingly. In Miami we had a Thai temple about 20 minutes away, and a few Asian markets here and there, and fortunately we met another American/Thai couple at a market. They lived in the Florida Keys, so we often went to visit them and go ocean fishing. My wife spoke poor English and no Spanish, and she couldn't drive. Without Spanish, good luck getting a job in South Florida. When I applied for and received a transfer to Seattle, it was so much better for her with a large Asian population, although she certainly didn't like the climate, which is exactly like England--often cloudy, rainy, and cold in winter. But I taught her to drive, she became a US citizen (totally aced the test), and began working in Thai restaurants, which are numerous in Seattle. For 12 years in America, we worked, saved money, bought land here in Thailand, built our nice house and, three years ago, retired here. As for social issues, there is jealousy from some Thai people, and too many wrongly assume that my wife must have worked as a prostitute in order to meet a "rich" Farang. There's also some comparing between Thai wives of their Farang husbands, their houses, cars, etc., but since I'm not old enough to be my wife's dad (I retired at 57, and I stay in good shape so I look even younger than I am), I come off just fine in the comparisons. 😉. And having lived in America for 12 years, my wife learned to care a lot less about what other people think than most Thai women. I'm very proud of my wife's accomplishments and maturity when compared to any other Thai woman in our area, and of how far we've come together.
The Americans gave away South Florida so readily. My Dad lives in Keys back in the 70s but I doubt he would recognize it today.
@@HairyPixels True.
Great comment mate. Interesting to hear your story. Spending time outside of Thailand seems to help many Thai wives deal with any negativity back home. Different experiences & perspectives etc. Thanks again.👍
@@HairyPixels no my friend. Florida was under Spainish crown rule way, way before it became American.
As a matter of fact Florida was under Spanish rule even before Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Ireland came together and form the UK, never mind the US being a nation yet.
And before the Spaniards there were the Semiole Indigenous people living there.
Many of those Hispanics in Florida are of Indigenous descent.
@@danwelterweight4137 Before 1821 you can tell me what the Spanish influence was in Florida and the native population. So those people are now justification for immigration from anywhere in Latin America? Everything built by whites post 1821 all belongs to them now???
About 10 years ago, I met this German dude in Pattaya. He gave me the highlights of his 25 years of courtship, marriage, house building and kids in Phetchaban. As Zorba the Greek intoned ".... The entire catastrophe."
He caught his breath. I inquired "... Well, what do you do now?"
He responded with a smile and a glow "....I rent an apartment off Soi Buakhao and take an occasional hottie, and THAT's as good as it gets!"
Wise words for us all.
He should have rented the land for 30 years in his name (where he built his house) for his family!
He could have ended up dead !
Great story. Great Zorba reference.
I found this episode absolutely fascinating! So many complexities. Keep up the great videos James 🙂
Cheers Scott. Hope all's well mate.👍
My Thai wife and I have been married for 20 years. Still laugh at all sorts of differing perceptions of the world. But it certainly was no easy picnic in the park for the first few years. The book Thai Fever was very useful to highlight the diffence in perceptions and especially money = support.
We've had no such drama in my wife's village everyone has been great.
Yes, small town bitchy mentality. But at least people are more connected in Thai life. Western city life is so isolating really.
Either it works (with mutual perseverance) or it doesn't.
I have been married to my Thai wife for six years. Really like to see more videos like this.
We are thinking about buying a house in Bangkok and I would like have three or four bedrooms with pool. She keeps saying no I want a small house and now I know why. Never really noticed anyone saying anything negative to her but now I will pay a little more attention. Her family and our friends could not be nicer.
Great video, keep up the good work!!
What a funny coincidence---I was watching your video when a photo of me, my husband and baby boy showed up at the end in reference to other Thai wives of farang men :) (I am a stock photographer so , hence, the photo availability) This is an interesting topic. I grew up abroad and met my husband as a child and after our marriage, we visited Thailand...and, lo and behold, market sellers had obvious assumptions about HOW we came to be together! Good grief. Get a life, people! Your poor wife...I get it!
Awesome commentary. I never married my long time gf, but frictions in the family drove me nuts. Covid finally killed it, probably for the better. I'm back in July to my Thai / Oz life. Keep moving forward
Very true mate. Have a great trip.👍
Why ruin a good relationship with marriage? Marriage triggers one's own internal parental tendencies.
Thank you for your honesty. It helps some of us better understand what we may be going through as well. Stay safe.
Cheers, hope things going well mate.👍
Great information and keep up the good work mate. It also takes a lot to share those personal experiences, well done.
Cheers, much appreciated mate.👍
Amazing, I’ve experienced a lot of this but your video has given me some useful insights even after 18 years of marriage….thank you….food for thought.
Cheers, glad u got something out of it mate.👍🍺
Thank you for the insights in this video. I was headed for this situation several years ago, and I never would have realized these things about my partner's experience. She had a prior marriage in Europe, and I sympathized with the troubles she told me of, but you have given us several deeper levels of context to think about.
man what an awesome video including all the original photos and memories. the issue about not coming in the house due to face is so sad. The whole issue of face is just utterly ridiculous e.g preferring to actually Lie rather than lose face. Cannot wait for next part and your battles with the booze
Cheers, Yep, never got on with the face issue TBH. Took a long time to get used to it. 👍
Interesting hearing others experiences; my (Brit) father in law met my wife’s mum in the early 1980s in outer (very rural) Bkk - built the big house, kid (my wife) to private school, etc etc but luckily didn’t encounter such problems. Kids at her school would joke about her step dads height (normal western height though) and his ‘foreign’ name but otherwise ok. She then grew up here and our experience of mixed couples (outside of in laws friends) were at the local Thai temple in London - where we took our daughter to Thai school at the wkend; we never really got on with them. The men were usually alot older (we were in our 20s then) and the women just wanted to compare incomes/houses/cars/brand items and gossip. A common thing too was their inability to properly communication, often I’d think a guy was talking to his toddler but was actually talking to his wife. When we go back to TH now, the wife is viewed more as a foreigner, jokingly called Farang sometimes even. We’re never found the right mix sadly.
I remember our builder said we could meet an American couple he was building a house for. Turned out they were Thai from Tak. Wife was a nurse and Husband engineer. They kept their Thai passports, but were considered foreigners. Could never get my head around that TBH. 👍
Very enlightening video as it provides a perspective that probably would not have occurred to me. Thank you. Stay strong !!
👍
Cheers Rex. 👍🍺
I can totally relate…..been married 18 years to my Thai wife…..I remember her going mental with a souvenir seller in Pattaya……and chasing him down the street…..he was terrified!……about a year after we met……..ps, she wasn’t a bargirl, but if she was it wouldn’t have made a difference ……love of my life.
Things have been a little easier for my wife as I had been living in Thailand for 20 years before we met and I spoke Thai. Fast forward 25 years and things are better than ever. I am not so sure things have changed all that much but the longer you live here the more you seem to blend in, so it feels like things have changed.
One thing I find myself doing is that I mention we have been together for 25 years. There is a 20 year age difference so I know what people are going to think and getting that in early blunts those assumptions. My wife and I share a sense of not fitting in anywhere, she is not really Thai anymore and I am neither Farang nor Thai. We live a hybrid existence and try to take all the best things from our experiences and the world around us.
Excellent comment and I'm in the same headspace as yourself after 20 years here. I like the term hybrid existence, sums it up well, thanks again.👍
Yep, my wife isn't happy walking down Sukhumvit road because of what other people might think. And yes the family ... they just wont leave her alone .. and don't give up.
Sukhumvit has hundreds if not thousands of farang Thai couples. I don’t think anyone cares in inner Bangkok, it’s the most progressive part of the city
We only had issues outside the bigger cities, but depends on the individual and personality. Hope things have improved mate.👍
@@jamesabroad8589 When I am in Thailand we live in Ratchada and no one bats an eyelid. Never an issue with me but there was one time she was in Australia. We were into a chemist and I turned around to look for her and a woman in her late 40s said "your toy's over there" really caught me by surprise. Stupid people everywhere. Anyway the misses is due here in the next few weeks for one last holiday in Oz, house is on the market and then Thailand here we come. As for the family ... better when I'm around.
Wow very interesting , I know about quite a few things in Thai culture but didn't realize about those issues .
I wanted to build a big house with my Thai partner and I wondered why she only wanted a small house .
Appreciate your information on your experience 👍
Cheers, yes, the house size was an issue back in 2002, but all good now. 👍
Hi James,
I really like this channel and this sort of video where you touch on cultural issues.
As a farang of a similar age and background to you, that is married to a Thai in 2004 with two children together your story is very interesting.
Whilst I agree that there are cultural issues that can make life challenging ie saving face and the feudal system…, I do think that we as westerners can over analyze things and explain away all our problems by saying that it’s a cultural prejudice like the jaded bitter farang who gets offended by the term
farang.
We ve had our own carrot stall holder experience ourselves but my wife and her mother couldn’t give a …. what other people think of her. To the untrue gossip that she must have met me in Pattaya they just nodded and smiled 😆. It turns out that the lady in question wanted her own daughter to find a farang too 😂
Sometimes people a just plain nasty but often it’s just natural human need for gossip and there isn’t malice intended!
Forgive my directness but my belief is that most of the stress that your wife had encountered was due to her own insecurities. She cared way to much about what other people thought of her. From the unpleasant neighbour , to the carrot seller, to the not wanting to build a bigger house.
Any thoughts? 🤔
Best Tom
Yep, comes down to personality for sure. My wife (although sensitive) would shrug things off, but had a breaking point. This was a new experience for her in 2002 and views such behaviour very differently now (usually with a smile) 👍
they do care what people think , why you dont have a new car , why you have a small house .....i think it grinds them down in the beginning and then they learn how to handle or they find a new target to talk bullshit about ,,,
fair play to ya, frank and honest, enjoyed listening
Cheers Pat, appreciate it mate.👍
Another gem and accurate. I like this series because I can relate to it.
Cheers, glad you like the series mate. 👍
I was worried moving to a small village that I would be asked for money from family and friends of my Thai lady. Not at all, everyone is super friendly. My thai girl however receives all the stress of people asking her for money that I thought I would get. It never occured to me that she would be the one taking on all the stress for this until it happened.
I warned my wife from the get go that she would end up piggy in the middle.............i had to explain it a few times but got it in the end
Fascinating video James. It's the kind of thing that one doesn't often see on TH-cam. I do believe that sort of thing happens almost everywhere, sometimes in less overt ways but it's there. It's a shame. I'm glad to hear that there was some healing of the wounds over time. My late wife was of mixed race and grew up in South Africa & she had some very troubling stories to tell. Hopefully humanity will evolve out of these small minded cultural conditionings one lovely day. Thanks so much for being so honest and telling the tale. I'm looking forward to my to Thailand trip mid October. Sawasdee khap James
Very True eric, happens everywhere to a greater or lesser degree. Not long to go.👍✈
Very good. Down to earth and honest. Thanks.
Cheers Gus.👍
Your comment on Thai wives living overseas experiencing isolation and homesickness really resonated with me.
My wife and I have been married for 10 years and during that time have been living together in Australia, where we met. Wife was OK & happy here pre-covid, as we used to spend a month or two in Thailand every year. The Australian Government banned citizens from leaving the country during the pandemic. This caused some consternation as we couldn’t visit the family in Thailand for over 2 years.
We also had our first and only child during the pandemic, and now we are finally able to leave Australia again the wife’s feelings of isolation & homesickness are such that she is insisting upon moving back to Thailand, where the extended family can help her to care for our young toddler, who is a very active & precocious child.
I’m hoping to take early retirement so I can also move to Thailand & join my family there, but the early retirement scheme my employer is offering, whilst it would pay me a small fortune in Thai terms, is only available to a limited number of employees each year. Basically it’s a lottery. My wife doesn’t accept this fact and is sure that I will get it.
Fingers crossed I will be able to make this all happen in 2023. If not I don’t know what I’ll do. But I do understand my wife’s feelings of isolation and homesickness.
I guess if I don’t get the early retirement package I’ll just have to continue working here & travel to Thailand as often as I can for visits, but it kills me after so long trying to start a family to be separated from my wife & our precious long awaited child. 9 years is a long time to wait to start a family & now they are leaving me.
Hopefully you can make things work mate. Having a child probably compounded the home sickness. Thais adore kids so hopefully he/she has the best of both cultures. Good luck.👍
Sorry mate, your wife needs to be more flexible and stay with you until your retirement plans are finalized. She is being selfish.
Tell her this is not acceptable
Brilliant vid, mate. I find it so difficult to analyze the creases in a Thai/Western relationship, every case has its own can of worms. Your video however, brought quite some issues to light!!
Cheers, yes just our experiences, but know a few wives that have had similar.👍
excellent video James, great insight. Looking forward to the next. 👍
Cheers Mark, appreciate it mate.👍
Very insightful video. Thanks !!
Cheers Matthew, appreciate it mate.👍🍺
Looking forward to part 5 James! I just watched through this again, and it's still really fascinating.
Cheers Scott. Traveling a bit at the moment, but will do part 5 soon. All the best.👍🍺
Love and appreciate your honestly and what an experience!, all these are unknows to us western folk. Looking forward to the next episode👍🙏
Can't wait for part 5..Thanks James.
Cheers, yes gets a bit more interesting.😁🍺🍾
Glad you're continuing with this series, James.
I may have to start vlogging about my experiences here soon as a form of therapy 😂
Actually helps mate and going through photos and videos brought back some good memories.👍
Wow, thanks for the very personal Vlogs. Loved it!
Funny story. A few months after our son was born in 2002 we took him to the government hospital for his vaccinations, he had very blond hair as a baby. I am Welsh my wife is Thai. Another lady at the hospital
Another great vid James, very open of you, and some valuable information.
Cheers, just experiences we had, hopefully useful to some.👍
Thanks for sharing
Experiencing for family stuff, trying to understand and help her work through it.
How to be present be humble and be humble and be humble.
Another great video James. I'm sure a lot of the women were envious of your wife because she had a handsome young husband. The colourism bit shocked me at first with my ex-wife and her family because they were relatively fair and her and her older brother couldn't accept their younger brothers girlfriend because she was a tanned coloured. I actually thought she was much more beautiful overall than my wife, including her normal Thai tan skin colour.
Cheers Adam. Crazy really as everyone wants a tan in the West lol. Skin colour has never bothered me personally.👍
Great video James, We don't have the same experiences but maybe that's because we've been living in Holland for 20 years
great video, yes Thais are all about face and rich / poor . Status means a lot to them. When I married my Thai wife we had to invite the local town chief and people were falling over themselves to gain an 'audience' with him, my wife's father was like a waiter, meanwhile the town chief was courting me to invest in things
Face here Certainly takes a while to get your head around.😁👍
Hope you didnt invest ?? 555
Thank you for your story...I have learned so much that I did not know about their culture.
No worries, just my personal experiences.👍🍺
Very interesting and thought provoking, thanks! I missed what town you were living in at the time all the drama went down?
Cheers, Tak town in Tak province.👍
If you got money, the Thai gal will always serve you well. When the money disappears, so does her heart.
I lost my passport and money bag when first met my wife. She paid everything for me 1 month. Yes some, but not all.👍
Yep, and if she puts on 300 pounds, there goes your heart as well. There are expectations on both sides.
Thanks James, I know what you mean mate, been there, done it , got the t.shiirt. good luck mate, I hope yours works out better than mine. Rob.
Interesting experiences James. I’m a bit confused re your friends not coming int the new home due to “face” Can you explain a bit more. Is it because it is bigger and better than they have.? How would that be face losing?
I think he explained it with the pyramid diagram. He built a big house and moved up a level or two on the social ladder. its a little bit like peasants who wouldn't feel comfortable sitting in the Lords manor in 19th century England. Thais prefer to mix with their own social class where they can relax. Its stressful to visit a rich persons new house. You have to put on a big smile and say how much you admire every detail of the house when deep down the Thai husband would feel humiliated and the wife jealous.
@@Peter-dw5xq cheers for the explanation Peter. I understand it a lot clearer now.
Great information! Thank you!
Cheers Bubba.👍
I like your candour..it's a bit of a minefield especially when you don't understand the lingo and culture..I've had a couple of incidents when being disrespected and funny enough at the local market..I recognized it though ..body language etc.. my missus is pretty open minded anyway so she doesn't get too hung up on the bs...plus we are well traveled..
I appreciate your thoughts and effort.. it's still a great country to settle in.. cheers
Certainly a minefield that can be navigated with good communication and not caring what others think. Can be a bit of a shock for newcomers. All the best. 👍
Thanks James a good insight to life and Thai, frang relationships I was lucky turned the noodle shop into a home in the village my wife has her family and friends here as well as her sister and aunty are married to foreigners but live in their home countries
Cheers Barry, certainly helps when close family are nearby.👍
Great vid but i think you was doing the tram driver a bit of a diservice,
😅
Snow flake chill
Killed it 😂😅😂
5555
Same thing happens in Philippines.
Very interesting vlogg. Sometimes when out with girlfriend in korat all I can here is falang falang lol
If that's all you're hearing, you're doing ok.😁👍
“Love em’ and leave em’ kiss em’ and don’t ever grieve em!” That was my motto!
My BEST failsafe was when they’d make an excuse for you to give them money for some SUDDEN family financial issue I’d employ what I called, “ The Exact Reflection Boomerang!”
Example:
Thai Girl: “ Hey baby, my father needs 10K Baht so he can hire a lawyer because some person is trying to take his land! “ 😢😢😢
My Replay: “ That’s the craziest thing, my father just told me he needs $300 so he can hire a lawyer too for a property dispute!”
Their faces were completely lost as to what to say when I told them about my family member needing the exact help.
Another example:
Thai Girl: “Hey baby, my daughter needs some new school clothes, school is starting soon and her old clothes are in bad shape.”
My Reply: “Damn, that’s weird, my daughter’s mom just called me and told me my daughter needs new school clothes too!”
I didn’t give them any money for these SUDDEN family financial events. I just used the method above to shoot them down. Even a Thai lady wouldn’t expect a guy to neglect their own family financially in order to support her family. Well, most of them wouldn’t, but I’ve met a few that were so materialistic that they would expect you to neglect your own family for hers.
Thank you very much for sharing your journey. I appreciate all your videos, and personally for me this is a very meaningful series. I will say that I am at the same point as when you were at your first rental. Social difficulties are always there. It is how you rise above them all that matters. We cannot change the world. Witness that as they try, it becomes even more divisive, particularly here in the USA. Thank you.
Cheers, yes, the differences take a while to process and can be more difficult to understand for some than others.👍
Yes well said James, there was a problem with me and the thai wife. But now we live in the UK, she frei has been here 11 years now and loves england. Frei family was one of the poorest in her village but now not so. I paid for a big house and her family live in it now, everything is going okay. We bought the land a few years before we built the house, it seems all is going okay. Not been for nearly 3 years now cause of covid, but the wife talks to her mother on facetime all the time. Maybe the wife might go this high season coming, who knows ? Bri and frei east Yorkshire.
Cheers Brian. Glad all worked out mate. Hopefully getting here will be restriction free after July 1.👍
Hello James, I'm from the northeastern region of Thailand. I admire and thank you for good videos that talk about women. Not all Thai women work as prostitutes. Personally, no matter what nationality I am, I may have a career as a prostitute, depending on the individual's preferences. which is in different ways The reason why Thai women are interested in foreign men is because we think that they are not interested in their appearance. Foreign men have responsibilities to work and family. which can push them to be better people than before🙏
You're welcome. Glad you enjoyed the videos.👍🙏
It's not complicated. There are many women, in small towns generally, who are jealous of other Thai women who are with farang men who have enough money to afford a nice life. I have lived in Thailand for five years now and have had a lovely Thai girlfriend for three years. We live in Bangkok and seldom experienced negativity here, but when we are in small towns it happens.
they are jealous and will make up lies / tell your wife they have seen you with another woman or say you have no money
Small town mentality is certainly a factor everywhere. Didn't experience any negativity in BK, just didn't enjoy living there.👍🍺
Hi Guys, it must have been very difficult for your wife and then for you once you realised what was hapoening. I am glad you were able to work through it!
Hi James, I live in Kamphaeng Phet. We live where my wife grew up, I could not imagine her living in village without her family and friends.
True, not having close family and friends here certainly made the situation more difficult.👍
I had zero issues with anyone in thailand being married to a thai wife. Matter fact they were all extremely kind.
Yes, same for the first 6/12 months or so. Doesn't always happen to everyone. Hopefully continues that way for you. Good luck.👍
Our home is a decent size, but average. We are keeping the outside rather simple and unassuming. The inside is where the money is. After my Thai wife lived and worked in America for over 10 years, she defiantly has a shorter tolerance for Thai habits and customs now that we are settling in here.
I know Thais who've lived in the states that have similar tolerance levels for certain aspects of the culture here. A few went back to the US actually.👍
Hi James
Very interesting series of videos.
Could you explain more about the part when you mentioned that the Thais wouldn’t enter your new home as they would loose face please.
That would be much appreciated if you could.
Thanks
Hi. Do you have a another channel cause try as I might can't get a clear picture of your day to day family life and friends how many children you have, still married, wife's and your work history and your children's relationship with Thai relatives. Love your walkabouts.
Cheers Ajiro.This is my main channel. I do a bit of everything on here. Check the playlist section for more info. etc.
Thailand, never jump through the western hoops of marriage, stay in control of the situation.
Hi James, another thought provoking video. Knowing what you know now from the last 25 years or so, would you go through it again? Difficult question as you have a lovely family. But, for example, would you have settled in a more urban setting, where there might find more cultural diversity, say like Chiang Mai or Bangkok? My small experiences in Thailand have always been idyllic, and I always wonder how one would experience the best of Thailand without any cultural relationship friction. Thanks again.
I don't regret anything really. Buying land closer to Phitsanulok could have been a better option, but we all still love it here in Tak. Cheers. 👍
I appreciated this video: interesting observations for me to remember.
Cheers Mark, apprecite it. 👍
Hi
You write about law about buying land, so how is it now can a thai buy land if she is married to a farlang, also i want to ask if anybody here knows about chanut i think the name is, have something to do with the land you buy.
Stay safe
Rak Thais RAk Thailand samer
Mike: "Chanot" ( or a Nor Sor Sam ) is a land title deed
Highest Thailand land deeds possible
Named after the Thai letters found at the top right corner of the deed.
I think his Thai family would have seen the appropriate lawyer.😇
@@victoriapenny5607 ok
Thanks i just hear that its important to know about it, if i understand it the right way then its something about what rights y have to the land.....
Stay safe
Good advice
Did you ever think that your wife said to much, I have been married to my wife for 34years we have neaver had any of that bull shit, we have lived all over, everybody treeted us with respect.
No I didn't.
Im also married to a Thai wife ,she is very well educated and fortunately for me had her own wealth . Over the years i discovered this wierd thing regards saving face , for an example when contructing our home ,the builder was using a screw driver to tighten screws , im a builder in Australia and brought along a bag of my usefull building tools ...as you would know we farang cannot take work from Thais ...on that day i offered the builder my makita impact driver and showed him how to use it ...i came back inside and he was still using the hand screw driver , i asked my wife why he did not want to use the tool i gave him ...answer ...he would feel embarressed for me showing him up ...WTF ....HOW did i learn how to build without being showed a more efficient way of building ...and as time has gone past ive experienced this many times in all different settings ......
Mate, I had so many issues with face building our house. So frustrating. I'll probably touch on them in a future video. All the best.🍺👍
@@jamesabroad8589 cheers for replying ....all the best to too ...
Great insights. Unfortunately Ive experienced similar mutterings from passers by. Brush it off and move on I say!
Everyone is different in thaughts
Everyone is different in status it's not a big issue
What a great series. I love to reminisce but unlike yourself, I looked much better when I was younger...I think you look younger now than 20+ years ago...that street food is a killer. You had me laughing about the other farangs wives with blue contacts, etc 🤣...then you see the husband and they look like Jabba the hut 🤣
Cheers Keith. Thai cigarettes and a daily dose of street food is a killer mate. Only Salads and the odd beer now. 👍😎
You need to redo your video to get better sound. Do the recording lip sink and stop the bounce around the room and increase the volume.
Cheers, not a professional really. Sounds ok through my system.👍
...@@jamesabroad8589 My views and sound on other sites are all good only yours are muffled and hard to understand. This is not to criticise but just feedback. take it or leave it.
The modern generation do not worry so much about bar girls and farang husbands due to international travel by young Thai people.
Only jealous old people worry about that cos they did not get the golden goose.
Dear James do you know if the law about married wife is still the law
The law where Thai wives lose rights after marrying farang. No , law was changed over 20 years. No worries.👍🍺
I love the dark skin ladies in Thailand. People in America pay a lot of money to get that in America. It is ashamed that some people are so rude and cause problems for others.
My answer to those kinds of people is "you tell people you how they want you to treat them by the way they treat you."
Thailand is no different than any other place in the world. This kind of thing goes on all over the world. So be like a duck, let the water roll off your back and go on with your life.
I can't tell you how many times someone has been rude to me. The same in Paris or rome or in London or anywhere else. I think the worst was in New York City. Very rude people.
True, doesn't bother me, but can be difficult for Thai ladies to deal with.👍
sorry to say I couldn't really endure the lengthy expository to get to the end. It's not that you're boring, but I find myself preferring more concise, shorter vids these days. Did you guys divorce? What happened?
I say way needs to be said. If u can't 'endure' click on another video mate.👍
@@jamesabroad8589 ok. i do have a slightly different opinion on what is necessary and 'filler' but well--thats that. Hopefully you'll take my observation as constructive rather than thinking I'm just some asshole.
1950s small town mentality still alive and well today believe me
Of course, it’s being thought in government schools every day by the teachers!
I thought the law stands only when the Thai national changes their last name to the westerners last name , correct me if I’m wrong , my bad missed understood
Not sure about the name change TBH. Maybe, but understood it as a loose of right to any land ownership.👍
The saving face issue & everything that comes with it, including lies, in Thailand, is the single most off-putting thing about the country.
Cultural or not, it helps no one & in my opinion the sooner Thai society realise this, the better for all.
@@martycoldschool910
While I agree, losing face in Thailand & indeed other Asian countries, is almost set in stone, the long standing culture we're often told etc.
In the west its not the case at all, yes there's a small percent of people that operate in a similar way in loosing face...but overall its not even a thing, not talked about, not culture driven etc.
For many foreigners moving to Asia, it does cause problems between them & their new found partner & it takes time & understanding to lesson such.
A big issue in doing so is the language barrier with most Thai/Western couples.
I have found it to cause more issues and have Thai friends who moan about it when running a business etc. It happens everywhere, but a different level here and around Asia.👍
@@jamesabroad8589
Absolutely James.
After a couple of years of knowing eachother, a good Thai friend of mine told me the lengths she's gone to in saving face in her work place & personally.
It came about because of me questioning her why is it so rife in Thailand. She initially got angry at me bringing it up & tried to deny it. Then in me saying I was genuinely interested as it's so different to my home country, she then wanted to know what's different, which in turn helped her & enabled her to tell all.
I was in shocked at the lies on lies on lies that this person I'd valued for a number of years, would go to & it questioned my friendship with her...so much so that at my choice, I've seen her in a different light & kept her at arms length.
I don't want to be on the receiving end of such as I'm a straight forward & direct person.
...its a more complicated society then i thought!...jesus, good luck with that! 😥
It is a pretty complex society once you dig beneath the surface.👍
There is also jealousy between Thais and the comparing thing outside Thailand when you get together with other couples.
This is a great vid indeed..it helps others who thought everything is ok to actually open theire eyes and see what the mrs is going throuh..i meet mine through an app and meet her first time in Udon Thani and from there to her sister in Nam Som.we had a great time but when we came to her place in Saba Yoi 1.5 hour from Hat Yai i could feel the tensions between her and her mother and her mothers husband..she stayed in a rural kinda like block built house that her mother owned and the mother lived in a house like it next door on the same plot of land. It turned out that the husband often cut of the electricity to my partner and her son and a boy she is taking care of which made me realy mad. All this while the mother always took the husbands side..we asked if they would sell the land where we stayed but no. 2 months later the mother came and asked of we still wanted to buy since she now needed bail money for her husband who was arrested in a elephant shooting and now stood in front of a 20 years jail punishment..i said yes but now the price had fallen from 700k baht to 400k baht..i told her to take it or we would buy a house near my partners sister in Nam Som instead..she took it and we are now going to build a house with a nice wall facing her mothers land. The problems with her mother was already there when i entered the picture and it is the only problem i have seen..her father is cool and the rest that i meet is great to. Her grandmother of age 97 said that im the only farang she have ever meet face to face. Living with / marrying a thai do have some problems but most is easy solved if both you and the mrs is working good together. Again great vid.
Thanks for sharing that. It is all about communication with the Mrs. After her bad experiences, we would talk and just laugh. Good luck with everything.👍
20 years???
Did he shoot a white elephant…
🤔
@@c.k.2 apperently he did not even do the shooting but he was involved in it and in Thailand shooting a wild elephant is a big no no..
@@Mylle1974 I know. That’s why I wrote “white elephant”.
🍻
At last the truth about trendy street food!
Lovely but dangerous. 😎👍
Hey thanks for your honest info and I know it can't be easy to talk about ...I also have a newly built house with my thai gfriend in her village ...I've just accepted that sometimes I.m a square peg trying to go into a round hole ....with the lose face issue and class issue either you are kind of looked down on by the so called wealthy hisos or on the other side having the jealousy issues with the others ... its not all bad it's just sometimes sort of pulls you back from being social involved with things ....anyway what matters as with me is you and your family unit the rest is not so important .. sorry for my bad spelling it's not the best and wish you and your wife all the best ....kevin
Agree mate. We let it go over our heads after a while and concentrated on the family unit. Now my wife doesn't give a sh**.😁👍🍺
Mine got her greencard and never saw her again. Wouldn't even tell me why she left.
That's rough mate.
Interesting video, I have to say with our so called Royals at home( UK , it feels like a feudal society at times with most of government, opposition, judiciary, various institutions all think they are entitled to rule, as they come from privileged back grounds , go to the same schools ,universities .
Mother/father pressures are there for sure, especially if the Thai family are struggling financially. The other big issue is other family members, aunts, uncles etc, and neighbours, they all put pressure on your partner. Jealousy and Thai custom all play there part too. It's a real challenge for the Thai partner, getting bombarded from all angles on a regular basis. Most foreigners don't understand these pressures, but they are real, and can cause many problems. When you fully understand Thai family culture, and you understand the pressure that is put on the female members of a Thai family, you will understand that the family unit can be a very unpleasant and unforgiving place to be. Thai women who want you to help support their family is a regular thing, and it's not the family you are helping, it's your partner, because she would have to do it anyway by whatever means she can. The problem is, most of us don't understand what we are dealing with when we meet this lovely, petite, pretty little Thai lady, and it can take a very long time to fully understand what you are dealing with. It's taken me over 30 years, and i still don't know it all, sometimes i just sit there, shaking my head, and thinking, what is she doing that for?, but everything is for a reason, we just don't understand the reason. Anyway, i am rambling, take care mate.
you must be talking about family members wanting to borrow money , stand guarantor for loans or new cars , they can put her under massive guilt trip , luckily not all thai families are like this
So why do Thai men not marry western women? Are western women not interested in Asian men or are Thai men not interested in western women. Please explain.
Some do. Watch Lilly's expat life channel.👍
My mum, whom is thai, has experienced that too a couple of times by taxi drivers when she was travelling with my brother, who is half thai, in bkk she was about 65 then, and old. She is Thai and married to a UK farang in 1967. She never experienced that travelling with me, also half Thai, but I look more thai, and i treat taxi drivers with no respect at all, I scream and shout at them given the first opportunity.
Do you get the feeling that UK guys relish this kind of social and cultural drama when they come to Thailand (even though they complain about it a lot) because their lives are pretty sterile and uneventful at home?
Not really mate. 👍
My experience, Asian women like foreigner men Bcoz they are not pigs
Thai men don't have the best reputation, but not all pigs.👍
How's about Thai men marry to Western women ?
Hi James I worry about my miss getting bullied in our village, I can ignore it but one thing I don't think I am going to like is when my daughter is older and people start thinking I'm a dirty old man and my daughter is my girlfriend. Like when you was at the hotel in Chiang Mai I don't know if I could laugh it off like you did.
I have to admit, we've always laughed about it. If you have good communication with your family and you understand things that could happen all should be ok. Making light of any negativity is best approach IMO.
@@jamesabroad8589 I know you're right but I've lived there long enough to see some things and know how people think and to be honest I've had them thoughts myself with what I've seen