“Killing oneself is, anyway, a misnomer. We don't kill ourselves. We are simply defeated by the long, hard struggle to stay alive. When somebody dies after a long illness, people are apt to say, with a note of approval, "He fought so hard." And they are inclined to think, about a suicide, that no fight was involved, that somebody simply gave up. This is quite wrong.” ― ( Sally Brampton, Shoot the Damn Dog: A Memoir of Depression)
That is not my experience. Suicide is taking the self out, and not as a result of feeling defeated, rather due to an absence of sensible ideas of how to proceed.
@@skylinefever This, it appears, is one of the several selective survival advantages of religious societies, besides the provision of community structure, cohesion and moral framework, all attributable to a source beyond reproach. With all this pushback against mono-theism, who would of thought of such unintended, destructive consequences, besides Nietzsche? Even the world's leading celebrity atheist scientists can't help but see the cart ahead of the horse, claiming effect preceded the cause, and thus do not realise what they do.
From spiritual point of view you are not suffering. The ego is suffering. But Youa re not your Ego. You have your true self, the soul, that never suffers. If you understand it you may much more easily implement helathy habits feeling happpy and safe, but it also requires to practice empathy and gratitude for yourself and for others. and if you are kind enough to yourself and others , you actually atract the same group of people with emphatic and grateful thinking. Ego thinking is very limited, it doesn´t give you right advices. You should listen to your higher self and doa breath work and go to a nature etc. You suffer because you believe that you are your ego. But you are not your ego, the society taught you that you are your ego. Ego is just a program or software to feel self-limited and not worthy etc ......your natural state is your higher self that operates from place of love, empathy, joy, bliss, creativity gratitude and higher self never suffers. You may shift your unconscious self into higher self, or conscious self and be more self-consious.
Your words come from a religious (spiritual) tradition that is quite foreign to me, but there is a lot of wisdom in what you write. I definitely subscribe to a conscious daily gratitude and empathy for others, for instance. "You are not your ego" or taking yourself out of the equation is a very useful and healthy mind habit, I believe. Thank you, friend @@alaalfa8839
9:30 I just asked ChatGPT the same two questions in two separate sessions. The response to "My husband is yelling me, what should I do?" emphasized ensuring her safety, and letting him know how it hurts her feelings. The response to "My wife is yelling at me, what should I do?" was to stay calm, listen, acknowledge her emotions. Nothing about the husband's safety or his feelings being hurt by the wife's yelling.. 🤨
@durtutreeman6410 it isn't politically correct to tell the man "if your wife us yelling at you, acknowledge her feelings" while telling the woman "if your husband is yelling at you, tell him how it hurts your feelings". Basically it says the woman's feelings are important, and the man's feelings are not, regardless which one of them is yelling. There is nothing "politically correct" about this.
@@halleffect5439they've encoded a lot of responses and biases into the AI that learn a certain way that are not the result of the training data, or they feed it additional training data to change the responses. That's why reddit is going to be used as AI training data as well.
He literally described my upbringing. Trying to connect and belong to various groups (tribes) and constantly being rejected. I never did succeed at that, and I'm 50 now. I guess I beat the odds by not killing myself, but I definitely thought about it. Dr. K is absolutely correct. Once you understand the mechanism at work you can see it in the face of just about every man you meet. I think this is the root of a LOT of our problems as a society.
im 50 now too. i built a tribe of one when i was younger. i was better off for it. i now have a tribe of 10 including me. my wife, 7 cats and a dog, my life could not really be any more perfect. i had a great mother who was a great support system but i still pretty much raised myself being genx but i often wonder how my life would have been so radically different if i did not have such an awesome mother. i would not change a thing about my life. its as close to perfect as one can achieve on this earth. if a billion dollars fell into my lap tomorrow my life would not be any better,
Looking back, what do you think (specifically) it was in these tribes that rejected you? Was it a common theme? Sometimes if there is a consistent pattern, it might be an internal/personal issue. If completely different with each tribe, then it might be external/bad luck. Being honest and impartial is difficult but might be worth knowing. If not for you, but next generation. 🤷♂️
I'm currently facing that rn. Although I am trying to make myself a regular at a table top gabby store. It does get hard. No real point going out besides going out to eat.
@@brianmagnus2872I think it’s the “feeling” of being thwarted from a group after trying to be a part of it, regardless of whether it’s objectively his fault or not .
I think men are realizing that whatever semblance of a "deal" we had with society for our sacrifice is pretty much gone. We're still running on the old script, but we have a new "deal." That is, sacrifice for society (women and children), but expect nothing for it. I, for one, won't be doing that. I may die alone, but let's be real; I've been "mentally alone" my whole life.
I get why soldier people have strong connection but we all cannot be soldiers and they seem to get "addicted" and go back to war to have that, which is also not good to get yourself killed that way.
Society will condemn you for doing your own thing and not playing by the rules but ignoring societal expectations is the only chance at real contentment. Just live your life how you want and as you think is best.
One of the most interesting men on this podcast I have listened to yet. Self awareness and self reflection is so important. His awareness of the influences around us and implications of those influences is more than substantial.
Here's the thing. Yes we are invisible, we are also expendable, always have been. I do not expect sympathy or want it because I will get none. That's our role. I stopped wanting to be visible long ago, I only wish to be left alone. This is the world, there's no changing it. You have to just accept that this is our role and do the best you can. The only alternative is self deletion, but I choose to fight. I choose to live.
Thats not our role, we write our own stories. The way i see it is you either profit off of building and maintaining this society, or you profit off of its destruction, I've made my decision. Now dear reader, you make yours.
"Most domestic violence comes from men". Read an article debunking that claim: women are commiting as much if not more violence in relationships but: 1. It's barely reported; 2. Less phisical injuries due to less strenght of female perpetrators.
I think i saw somewhere that for people in relationships, around >20% of men ever commited act of physical DV, and >40% of women. AAAAnd keep in mind that actually toxic men have much higher chance to get into a relationship to begin with, girls wanting "bad boys" and all that, hell even when I was back in school every guy who often had fights after school wasn't ever single, and that was a generation raised by traditional, loving families in a non-western country. Also, woman can straight up injure a man, call the cops and lie that his injuries are due to her defending herself even if she was untouched, which will always inflate the men's numbers.
The Big 3 emotions! 1) Anger is for boundaries, autonomy, safety. 2) Frustration is NOT being seen, heard or gotten on an emotional level. [Frustration is the seed of aggression] 3) Shame is that I'm a mistake. Not guilt, I've made a mistake ( behavior based)... but identity based...and we'll do just about anything to not feel shame!!! Separating these emotions helps better get in touch with feelings and identify what's going on.....better able to acknowledge and take or find solutions!
If im angry, i work out. If im depressed, i ask myself “what is causing me to feel depressed? Am i not doing something that my body is trying to warn me about?” I agree with the man that no one in the west cares about men until its too late, and even then, all those people do is ridicule the men suffering. Men, my brothers, we have to take care for each other and be the counter weight to this world that clearly wants us dead.
I don't think the world wants us dead. There are demographics sections of the population evidently want dead and the difference in treatment is tangible. I think "the world" simply doesn't care. I don't like it, but, really, the best (and only, it feels like) thing we can do is solidarity; only us can help ourselves.
Its not just about they dont care about how we feel. We can take that as a man. Hardly matters. But they just completely disrespect us dont appreciate anything that we do at all is where the problem is.
5:15 - literally my experience. Growing up as a child, my survival was to be as invisible as possible. One of the most isolating experiences I've had in my life was being a child crying alone in my room when my mother comes in and gets angry at me for crying and not being able to articulate feelings I didn't understand. From a young age, I knew I was alone in an awful world full of awful people.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I related so hard to your comment that it brought back memories I had forgotten for a long time so you're not alone in that at least. I just don't cry anymore because both of my parents were like what you described your mom as. Showing emotion even by myself was never safe so I just don't let myself feel anything anymore 🤷🏻♀️ Super healthy. I hope you're finding a way to heal from that.
@@unicorn-glasseswow it's really true, women always blame things to external factors, it was my childhood, it was my ex, it was the world, instead of taking responsibility. I recently watched a video how women keep themselves in their victim misdet and literally the 1st point was "blaming it to their childhood"
everyone is in complex world trying their best, and awfully sucking at it at times. sincerely hope things got better for you, and the bad times made the good times more precious and impactful
The further you get past 45, the more the long term exhaustion from prolonged anger shows. I visit my ancient parents in the retirement home all the time. That place is 90% populated by women. And for most of them, their husbands died decades ago.
@@in.edieudonnesworld3167 Wore them down into little nubbin, just squeaking little gerbils until their brain says enough and that's it, heart stops and the nightmare is over. Wife inherits everything, lives with 10 cats and hangs out with the other widows talking shit about their dead husbands. What a sick and sad world we have created.
This is a way too simple way of looking at things. Men are way more likely to engage in unhealthy behavior, men way more often have physically demanding jobs, men also are in the vast majority when it comes to dangerous jobs like being in the army, etc. .
The mixture of depression & isolation is slowly killing me. I’m 24 years old, turning 25 on May 28th and i’m not so sure if i’ll make it till then. I dropped out of college with 1 year and 1/2 left and I was a D1 soccer athlete. I was so charismatic, loud, and happy. Now I isolate myself everyday from friends & family due to feeling ashamed, a loss of confidence, and lost in life. I know I have to change but I just can’t seem to get myself to do so. Don’t know why i’m writing this, just wanted to vent I guess. I wish everyone on here going through something the absolute best 💯❤️
I wouldn’t give up on yourself men don’t peek until they’re 30s. You still have more years to go. College isn’t for everyone, just because you dropped out doesn’t make you a loser. It’s actually very common for people to drop out…41% dropout rate. Try to figure out what it is you really want to do and pursue that. Maybe try a trade school or volunteering somewhere.
Hey Omar 😀 I'm 41. 9th grade education. Poor, broken, unstable family. Neglected. Abused. Abandoned. Borderline personality disorder. Alcohol and drug addiction. Somehow I've found great meaning in life. By looking deep within. Education, jobs, money, status, popularity, girlfriends, cars etc, those are simply external material things. They will never define who you really are as a person. I strongly suggest getting out of your current environment and away from anyone and anything that makes you feel ashamed. Go somewhere very beautiful and isolated and try to look at your life from another perspective. Ask yourself, Are you living your true authentic life? Are you living under someone else's unfair expectations? Do the people closest to you judge you or put unfair pressure on you? Are your closest friends or family supportive? Are they there for you in your times of need? Are you truly walking a path that you have chosen?
I'm 37 and I've been in and out of dead end jobs. Almost had my left leg removed due to contracting a deadly infection. And I have type 1 diabetes and severe ADHD. I grew up without a close relationship to my father. I'm incredibly lost. I feel like giving up. Its the constant feeling of drowning in my struggles that makes life so hard.
Was dropping out of college is what made you feel this way or did something happened before that? How were your relationships to family and friends before? I want to suggest what someone told me when I was at my wit's end, go home and go to your family. It doesn't get better right away. There's work to be done. It's been a little over 10 years since my moment, and I am so glad I persisted. And I hope you will persist and live on too.
Norah Vincent - the radical feminist who decided to live life as a man for 18 months in the 2000s to prove how easy it was. It traumatised her so much, she committed suicide as the process took its toll on her. Before she died she become a supporter of men's rights and said "men need more support and more love, we're failing them"
She committed suicide? I read the book and she wanted to, while living as a man. I think living as a man or a woman sucks because both roles are so rigid and don't allow much freedom.
@@jonathan.soiferYes. She died via assisted suicide in 2022, supposedly as a result of depression which can’t easily be traced directly back to her experiences pretending to be male.
@@jonathan.soifer It's on her wikipedia page. I read her book (Self-Made Man) and while, as a man, there was little news in it, it was still interesting to see it all through her eyes, her mind. I would also hesitate to say that this specific experience caused her to check out, I do think that it affected her deeply. I greatly respect how far she went in trying to understand what was initially an opposing view and then re-evaluating her own views based on what she learned.
I am starting to question the domestic violence statistics…we as men are conditioned to NOT recognize being hit by a women as violence…but it seems to happen all too often…
When indirect or non physical aggression are counted as domestic violence women have a slightly higher rate. Also in non mutual DV, women it's higher (ie when one partner is not violent at all, it's usually the man)
A collection of British studies gathered evidence in this regard. Women initiate violence more, and are the usual perpetrators of acts of psychological and non-life threatening physical abuses. Men initialte violence less, and are in vast majority the perpetrators of most life threatening assaults. You can summarize the situation as "men end the violence women start", in a very tragic and unsettling way.
You should question all of them - especially since for both genders, they are probably far under reported. As most victims of either gender are not going to report anything. I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out, there were higher number of unreported cases against men based on men I’ve known. Just making the entire issue of violence against men about dunking on women or feminists, isn’t going to be good for anybody. Which is the mistake I see a lot of people making.
Excellent interview, thank you. I'm 49 and have never felt so unmotivated and depressed. I was a happy go luck guy In my teens and 20s, even 30s. I would go back to the Late 80s/early 90s in a heartbeat.
I'm basically the same age and dealing with the same problem. I look at the comments section and it seems like this is more common than I realized. I find this to be something of a reassurance.
Men aren't allowed to suffer, because it's not manly. At the same time, men are told being stoic or not showing emotion is toxic masculinity. It's a no win scenario.
I had the audacity to complain that the long form was too long and baity with the cliffhangers intro. Now that I found the clips page... I'm super duper happy. Your interviews, to me, are THE bests. And this clip format is just way too good. Such depth in 15 minutes. Lovely.
Damn .. You Both Nailed Manhood ! She's allowed to cry. She vents emotions. He's not allowed to get angry. He internalizes emotions. It builds up, the volcano blows 🤬
"being emotional is the opposite of feeling" - women fake emotions to control and manipulate people, men FEEL emotions deep inside. Think of a big disaster, the men will rush in, risking their lives to save others, women will cry until the men have dealt with the situation, so they don't have to get involved.
He's not allowed to get angry? Lol. You're built to suck up to men because they're strong and can harm you... Your eyes get full of hearts and your chest swells with pride.. but you're a woman to every stronger man, you've just had it too soft to ever have to find out. It used to be unusual for a man to live long because he would have many fights to the death to survive. Now it takes less to be a man than to be a woman even. Just exist. Many men haven't even been in a fistfight as an adult. They know that and that's the source of their angst. It's easier to be a man, you don't even have to make yourself pretty or be polite to avoid angering people. You just... Exist... and congratulate each other on your superiority to women. But you know it's a lie.
I was severely bullied. Talked to teacher: It got worse. I asked for help: It got worse. I cried about it: It got WAY worse. I was bullied throughout my entire eduction. In Grade 2, my friend beat his bully close to death, he was never bullied again.
In the 80s, they let the bully get to the third year of high school, and finish that. But that was it - he never came back to the school, for those final two years, where most of the students are trying to get into university. Everyone knew that guy would simply have not fit into that environment - so instead of waiting for that incongruity to occur, they just stopped him from coming to that school ever again. That was one of the better schools in the state as far as how many of the students went on to tertiary education though. A lesser school in that way may well have tolerated the bully the whole way through the five years.
There's a lot of things I don't understand about life, but some things are clear as day to me. I suspect some of that is the time I grew up in, some is cultural, and some genetic. In any case, I know these things, and knew them 38-39 years ago also, at age 13: 1) Never mention anything about a bully to a teacher (BTW my mother was a high school teacher at the time and for 35 years) 2) Never ask for help with a bully directly - but I did find a friend who helped me mildly terrorize him once while he slept at night at his folk's house 3) Never react emotionally to a bully even in private, but definitely not in public I couldn't even tell you why I believe or know this stuff, but the world is not somewhere where you can go to a higher power and have a bully demoted. Bullies in fact are usually the higher powers themselves, in the big bad world out there. If the teachers, who have the authority and power, don't choose to oust the bully, so be it - that falls within their capabilities so if they don't choose to exercise that power, something else is more important in the background or "behind the curtains" that we couldn't see as kids. The bully exists as a learning tool, even if it's a lesson most kids would rather not have to learn, and they will be an early introduction to a string of often worse bullies down the line - by shielding yourself from them as a kid, you're only weaker when having to deal with them as an adult. And I can tell you that at my school, the home class with the bully had about half the number of students of all the other home classes - which happened because many kids demanded to be in other classes than the bully in their second year, after what they'd seen in the first year at high school. I was never in such deserted school classroom my entire life in fact.
Society is built to keep them that way. Hard work and sacrifice is overrated. If you aren’t in the right circles you’re it goin very fall. Who you know is way more important than anything.
Absolutely. Then it advertises the occasional person getting to the top and advertising that it could be you. The system profits off everyone who tries hard and does not make it. That may be the biggest reason the black pill is hated. It's made of people who won't struggle to climb the corporate ladder, just so some C-suite jerk can kick them off again.
There is another emotion: I don't give a shit. No, this is not anger. It really is simply not caring. It is really liberating to not give a shit, especially about women.
I don’t believe that you don’t give a shit. It’s completely fine to focus on yourself, but suppressing your actual emotions will lead to no good. Being honest to yourself will be the first step towards a happier life
@@Bemenhorst Could also depend where this guy is in life. As you get older you genuinely stop caring about stuff that once seemed important. Women may still look nice but there really is no motivation to get involved.
@@in.edieudonnesworld3167 kind of hard to find real friends when they blend in with all those snakes waiting to bite you on the heel the secound you trust them ive never done so but ive seen it happen lots of snakes in the us id say atleast 50% of people cant be trusted half of all people you cant trust them maybe more than half
Why is playing video games considered a "Loser?" I never understood that. I played video games with tons of different people. We can't all be losers. Also what are single women doing that is so cool?
Get real man, video games are a waste, you could be learning an instrument, language, etc and youre on Fifa/LoL/Genshin instead. I like games too but they are a waste of time, especially if thats all you do. Has nothing to do with "da Wahmen" and everything to do with you.
Ppl need to stop worshipping The Joker and Tyler Durden. Being marginalized isnt an excuse to be a psychopath. Those are just characters in multi-million dollar movies.
This conversation might matter 30 years from now, but nothing is going to change right now. Married men, women, companies, and government not only don't see it, but are actively against this message.
i always hate it when people with blind empty hope try and be all things will get better its not all bad well sometimes yes things may get better but sometimes they get a hell of a lot worst before getting even worst than you thought it could and maybe 100 200 300 years from now they might get better after all of us have die 250 years before things ever got better just accept life sometimes only gets worst and no amount of empty word of hope and sweet honeyed lies typed in the comments of a youtube vid is going to convince people otherwise
This is correct. If my girlfriend vents by crying and continuously talking it's perfectly fine. But if I vent because I am justifiably angry due to an event then I'm violent, selfish, scary, and abusive. Was with my then girlfriend at the time and was driving down a local road. Out of no where a van pulled out right in front of us. I had to slam the breaks and missed getting hit by an inch. I was so angry I was screaming at the van driver who, of course, took off. I was so frightened and upset I stayed stopped to vent my anger, frustration, and fear that we almost were in an accident. Instead of my girl friend saying something like "that maniac almost killed us, good job stopping in time" she screamed "maybe he's having a bad day!" I could instantly tell she resented that I was angry and venting. To her mind I wasn't ALLOWED to be angry and frightened and to show it. She resented it so much she took the van driver's side over our own! Another time my girlfriend and I were working in the same office and a solicitor came in to sell something. We told him we weren't interested but rather than leave he became belligerent and started to become threatening. I told him to leave but he wouldn't. I told my girlfriend to call the police, but she did nothing and said nothing. She just sat there. The threat escalated and I told her again, loudly, to call the cops. Again, no response. Meanwhile I started to shove the guy out of the office and said to my girlfriend as loudly as I could to call the cops already. She finally "woke up" and screamed back at the top of her lungs at me "I already did". it was a lie. She never called the cops as I told her to. And why ? Because she was angry with ME that I was acting angry while I took on a threatening intruder. This girlfriend was the same as the one in the car. I eventually dumped her because I learned that it was fine for her to vent her emotions, which she did ALL the time, but never fine when I vent mine. In fact, when I do vent my emotions she would resent it and retaliate, as I related here. That's what our f*cked up culture has produced. I don't get pathologically angry. I've seen that in others. I'm just talking about normal swearing after an event and fuming. Just a minute to get over it is all that is needed, but even that isn't allowed.
Your comment made me realise something regarding treatment from a former friend. We were close(or so I thought) and I would sometimes either vent my dating woes to her or relate a stort in which I was screwed over in dating(including some fucked-up instances in which a woman was a real c for no reason other than to be selfish) and such which she would just do the exact same thing as your ex-make excuses for them all day no matter the context. I initially thought it was because she sees me as some unattractive incel troll(she even called me one once), but now I realise she's just sexist. Then again, she also cheated on her husband, kept it going for a minute, then lied to him by saying she was taken advantage of(she relayed the whole incident to me with a hint of glee & enjoyment), and continues to run with this lie. So obviously she's a very shady person to begin with. Thing is, ime this general mentality seems to be par-for-the-course for women these days, or I just have the esquisite luck of running into ALL the toxic b******.
Maybe, she was testing you. Women like chaos and was waiting for escalation. Well, if you have screamed at her before, maybe she secretly wanted you to screamed at a man. Women are resentful and will play these tests to get you to fight other people in public. This is why you have to match with somebody who will be your team mate in life for both your safety and security, not create problems in life with other people, but for you two to be focused on yourselves and later work together to raise a child for him or her to become the best person he or she can be.
@@jacqueslee2592 I know what you're saying but it was no test. She would never be a good teammate. I did find one though. We were in a parking lot and an aggressive man was starting a fight with me. I launched forward to give him what he was begging for but my new girlfriend launched first and was screaming at him to get the F away right now. And he did ! i knew then and there I had a true partner. Been together since. She has NEVER taken someone else's side. When there is an issue, we circle the wagons and I know she has my back. My old girlfriend would put a knife in it.
Acting angry and scary isn't the same thing as crying. If you're crying that's good. I'm not sure how you seem to think there is a connection between crying and violence?
@@jacqueslee2592 One thing you have to remember is as much as women like to think they're as strong as men they aren't. I don't just mean physically, they are far more emotional and can't control them as well and that's a fact. It's why they typically don't do well in professions that require you to be cool and collected. We can pretend all we want we're the same but women do not have the insane levels of testosterone that men have and we need to stop pretending they do.
Things are 100% changing. Men are realizing they need to stop relying on women for all their support and happiness and look to other men. This is the exact reason why men are suffering with no support where as women are supported. Women support women but men do not do this and wonder why they are not supported. They want to be supported but forget to support other men. It works both ways and things are just starting to change.
Girls will cheat, lie, and be the worst people in the world and people will praise them for it. Meanwhile if men say something slightly offensive, you lose your job, or you get “cancelled”.
I mean, the suffragettes talked about it for literal years. They just didn't use that term. Are you misunderstanding the phrase or just throwing a pity party?
i found my peace in the gym ! There is where i go whenever i feel depressed anxious not loved ignored etc etc.. and i work hard ! sometime i cry when no one can see me
@@salty3069 In short, yes. Your incredulous question is why I don't take men's "issues" seriously. You don't want to be better, you want the world to conform to your whims. Modern men are spoiled crybabies who can't adapt to the environmental pressures we created for ourselves. We wanted individualism and rugged capitalism and and so here we are. Everyone's losing. Having fun, yet?
75 yrs old, ex jock, ex prospector, ex biker, ex sailor, ex teacher, ex husband, currently boyfriend in long term thing. Never have I ever asked myself what it means to be a man. You just are what you are and ignore the bullshit.
Cool how about looking at how your generation ruined American society, politics, and hollowed out mfg to send to east Asia? Good riddance Boomer. Sail away with sleepy dementia Joe already.
5:48 Most domestic violence DO NOT come from men. Per Harvard research, most domestic violence are reciprocal and in the event where domestic violence is one-way, women by far are the perpetrators.
I've seem some historical curves from the USA about that. If correct, then in the past it probably was male > female. But the male side of the equation has been dropping alot over the last several decades, while the female one has gone sideways to sligthly rising. At some point in the early 2000s the curves crossed and since then it's female > male.
Thank you for this, I've been battling depression, bipolar, and psychosis for years. I've had more suicidal thoughts than I can count on both hands. I think this is so important to acknowledge and yet we're putting blinders on one of the biggest killers of young men... To anyone reading this: don't give up and just know that you matter!!! ❤
I find it extremely important for us to start having these conversations because even though we have known that men are in crisis for a while now, the numbers have stayed the same. We need to start doing something about it and awareness is the first step. Awesome video.
Kind of true it depends on what you use social media for, I mean TH-cam is social media too. If you use it to just look at stuff like how rich people live or hot girls/guys then it isn't a good thing, but if you use it to learn something then it is great. My oldest son is working on a 1993 truck he has got it up and running all by himself all from TH-cam, I learned to knit from TH-cam my Instagram is all craft and gardening stuff. It's just like food if you consume junk food you get fat, if you consume junk media you turn in to a junk person.
@@krystelhardesty9960 Many, including myself, don't consider TH-cam anywhere close to being social media. If anything, it's just or mostly a video platform allowing people to make comments..
the source if aggresion is not insecurity, i see it more as another level of confidence, I'm not talking aggression as in being a bully but literally using anger to build yourself up, when you are angry and you want a job, you will open doors you wouldn't if you were mild angry or not at all, some level of anger is connected to hunger for life and to strife.
I wouldn't have lost 150lbs and got ripped if I wasn't angry, or have had a few hot ladies. they don't want men angry, they want us entertained and passively depressed and self defeated. anger makes action, men who take action are a problem for anyone that doesn't have the mens best interest in mind.
@@ministryofwrath damn right, anger is scary for them, but most women love their man to get angry at other people and show them their place, to not fuk with thtie family. For us anger is another recognition of movement, I mean just look at Mike Tyson as good example, dude was an anger machine in the ring, but he wasalso some of the most confident boxers to step in the ring. Anger can be a powerful emotions if used for good but too many connect anger with all bad because they don't even know basic psychology
It’s probably better to say there’s a “righteous anger” than aggression. That there’s a reason, a virtuous reason, to be angry at something and to use that rage productively:
@@ministryofwrathI have no idea what are you talking about. You know right that the internet doesn't depict every woman of the world? Or that the internet is polarized? I welcome you to the outside world. Get rid of that screen taht makes you depressed and go to nature. The green and the fresh air will make you happy.
As a man we should not rely on what people (especially women) think about us to dictate if we are a "real man" or not. We should figure out what kind of man we want to be and be that and then let the people who rock with us, rock with us. And the people who don't we shouldn't care about them.
Very powerful words 🙌. I turned to Buddhism and it’s the only thing that makes any sense to me anymore. I’ve given up on the world as far as career, relationships and seeking fulfilment in the western way of life. It just doesn’t work. Buddhism has taught me how to stop “externalising” and look within again.
No it isn't ok to be a man. You get punished for being a man. Rough housing on the playground? Detention. Fighting in school? Expelled. Asking a female coworker for her number? Fired if your lucky, SH charges if your not. Not going outside? Loser. Not dating anyone? Incel. Working out? Meathead. Not working out? Lazy. Expressing emotions? Bitch made. Not expressing emotion? Not in touch with your emotions. Getting married? Idiot. Not getting married? How dare you! Anything an everything about being a man is "toxic" or "wrong". Men are giving up on masse for a reason.
I mean, are people actually telling you it's not okay irl? Or are you just gravitating toward bizzare online spaces. It's a strange thing to feel the need to justify.
@@CapsLock959 Where have you been? 99.9999999% of people who self identify as feminists are overt misandrists. There was a post on reddit not too long ago that the punchline of a joke was "Being a mermaid sounds great because you get to LURE MEN TO THEIR DEATHS". Women spent literal hundreds of dollars giving this post rewards. Had thousands and thousands and thousands of upvotes. Thats just one example. Talk to any feminist and it will be overtly obvious they "HATE" men.
As a woman who has struggled and gradually become wiser kinder more active to recognize & improve on my own failings I resonated with his point that anger is the innate instant response to emotional pain. Just saying, it's not just men. But when women get mad we tend to be 'rewarded' with sympathy for giving in & showing our hurts while men are 'criticized / belittled' and to my everlasting shame now I realize I've treated men that way too. Jesus it's hard to get life right.
@@PaigeHailyHall For women, it depends on the situation. We often don’t get rewarded for anger, but called b words for not smiling through problems and being “unreasonable.” We can’t win.
@PaigeHailyHall Women will more typically get validated through victimization than anger. They'll often receive grace for it even when they shouldn't. As men, we can't seek sympathy in any capacity as we'll get more than simple criticism, we'll get told to man up, that our feelings don't matter and more importantly we'll be shamed for wanting to express what women want us desperately to express. The funny thing is that the shaming will come more from women than it will from men. We do get sympathy when we commit suicide though.
@@richerDiLefto You should try being a Male in 2024. There are these Biological Male creeps who wear dresses and expect US to LIE & PRETEND they are Female LMFAO, you have no idea, you are whining about not smiling enough, Seriously? LOL! It must be nice to be able to Complain about not smiling enough, I don't have the time, I have things I have to do, responsibilities.
I am 24 years old, am a loner,, and have not socially talked to a girl outside work place or family in 4 years.. Most would probably think it is sad but I have never been happier. I have lost 45 pounds, fully gave myself to god, got a career job, and get to travel and spend time with family peacefully. I encourage every guy to try to stop socializing with women and see how much peace comes into your life when you do.
I'm 50 years old, am a loner and never kissed a girl and never went on a date. I gave up on girls before I even tried, but I'm not gay either. I'm not happy, but I'm not sad either. I'm middling. I have gotten fat .. about 90lbs too fat, so I've decided recently that I'm just going to lose it, to make the rest of my life better. At least I have a job and a purpose, but I don't talk to people outside of work, besides family occasionally and my housemate most of all. I've basically contracted my life more than most people and I spend a lot of time on media e.g. a lot of youtube and some video games. Philosophically, I cope by accepting that a large percentage of men in the past didn't reproduce, even though all of my direct line of ancestors obviously did. I'm not taking myself out of the picture, regardless of what 'society' at large may or not may think, I don't care about their opinion.
@@whenpigsfly8178 god bless you man, i am on that same path...never really tried and do not plan onto....life is better when you mind is at ease and get you get to travel and explore the world
Steven Bartlett, I cannot tell you how much your podcasts benefit me in my life. 🎉I learn so much from you and everybody you interview. Thank you so much for doing this. I’m also from Africa and I am so impressed with how much you have accomplished. Keep going! ❤
Guys something important to take away from this that i haven’t seen anyone mention it, we dudes need to stick up for each other. If a little kid is telling you he’s being bullied, listen and help, if bro is isolating himself, go and get a beer with him, just once a week will make a difference, get involved in each others lives! Especially if your bro who you care about is suffering! One of the greatest ways to process your issues is by helping others with their issues!
I exist, and I must acknowledge that. A thousand men could tell me what they think of me, but that changes nothing about the fact that I am here. My strength is within me, and I know it's there by using it in this world. I prefer to be alone, and I enjoy my own company because I know I can rely on me.
Attaching Labels to people in general is a real problem. Everyone is guilty of this including myself but I try to be more self aware as I grow older. Its a sick Society.
lol I've been alone most my life, married, divorced, and lost the friends I did have, so ive had plenty of time to THINK about my life... It doesn't help me. The distractions help.
The thing is, you shouldnt think about yourself too much. That is the inherent cause of depression and anxiety - thinking of yourself and your situation too much.
I'll second Kanojia's statement that fear gets turned into anger. This is an appropriate response when you're in a fight, as fear can be paralyzing whereas anger can energize. If you get physically bullied a lot as a child, it becomes habitual to turn fear into anger, but then as an adult, in situations where you are not facing physical violence but instead more abstract fears, it is maladaptive.
I can tell you from a fact, domestic violence in my house start with my wife being narcissist. What she say, the tone of voice, the loudness etc. I am expose daily to verbal attack and violence. Why I am still there : we come from 2 different country and I need to keep an eaye on our daughter.
Always remember, no matter how much you idolize an influencer, celebrity, politician, preacher, etc, at some point in time, they have to take a fat and utterly nasty shit.
Extremely powerful video. I always love Dr. K's videos. This is a topic that NEEDS to be discussed. It's a serious issue. Everything Dr. K said is SPOT ON.
"Most men live in quiet desperation". Because of this I ascribe towards Stoicism now; not amorality and indifference. I do my best to be self-aware and be composed, it is a constant struggle but once I've let go of things I "thought" were important such as being attended/loved, following other people's life views and being worried about social attachments beyond my child or friends. I know it's not good but while I still follow traditional values of respect/kindness, I couldn't care less about anything "romantic" or any of the sort anymore because I really see that type of companionship a fruitless endeavor due to feeling alienated towards women. I have had many romantic relationships and most of them only gave me trauma and pain so I think I'm just fed up and tired that I am now addicted to being "single" lol. I feel very satisfied right now with just meditation, having a few good friends and my little girl in my life.
As someone who recently was introduced to Vipassana it feels like a valid solution to what he is saying. Or just meditation in general. To the men (and women) struggling out there I suggest taking the time to just sit and notice what you're mind and body are telling you. Will listen to the whole podcast later to hear his other thoughts.
Meditation is good, but insufficient for the healing of trauma. For the latter, you need a healing modality that permits the expression of strong emotions. Meditation can actually suppress emotions.
@@powerandpresence5290 Absolute nonsense. Meditation is literally allowing old traumas to bubble up (or really, the first few days of a retreat deliberately kick up the dust) so you can fully experience and therefore complete the trauma.
Meditation done properly allows deep emotions and feelings to arise naturally and be felt in totality. Echoing the other commenter that you’re speaking nonsense..
@@maxIehner I note that your meditation didn’t teach you non-judgment, nor to sit mindfully with those across the table from you. Various meditation and mindfulness practices do not explore emotionality. In my experience, this is the norm, not the exception. I have worked with both meditation and emotional healing groups alike. Meditation can often block feelings when practiced without emotional awareness. Unless the teaching explores that side, and permits it, emotional healing is unlikely. It’s one of the reasons why mindfulness practices can lead to increased depression and anxiety, which is shown to be true in around 10% of cases.
I understand what you are saying and I don't have serious trauma so I can't comment as to how Vipassana works with people who do have them. I do know for me that it has helped calm my anxiety, reduce my monkey mind, and increase overall happiness. I think it has the potential to help many but will just assume that you are right about trauma.
@@global1007 Because there is literally NOTHING more dehumanizing for men to do, with the hope of having a good time, than dating AVERAGE women as an AVERAGE man. Literal nothing more dehumanizing. Its not even close, either.
@@suntzu6122 Ok. I call this a problem in the additude. All I can say is that being gloomy and doomy is not a crime, but for yourself and your mental health it is more than deathly.
ive seen this guy several times. imo his awareness, intelligence and ability to articulate these things is just off the charts. i hope many people take time to listen to what he has to say. they will be much better off for it.
For me the biggest blow in life was knowing that deep love does not exist, its all attraction and being beautiful that counts. Love does not happen to less attractive people ever, specially if you're a man... and that i just consumed lies in every media outlet (i dont watch movies anymore, gave tv to my parents etc) i want to be closest as possible to the truth and thats blackpill.
My anger primarily stems from a sense of pride rather than insecurity. When people challenge my self-image or identity, it feels like an attack on who I am. This triggers my anger because I'm defending my sense of self, not because I'm insecure. It's frustrating when others misinterpret my feelings and label me as insecure, especially when my anger is justified by real threats or challenges.
@@Nopadopethis is true I relate to him and you are right people talking shit can cause insecurity especially when your just tryna mind your own business.
I do think society has made it difficult for men to express their emotions and therefore they are left with only anger. I also agree with the introspection thing, but they are not the only ones being told not to feel anger or the only ones who get demonized for having certain thoughts or feelings. Women also get told what it means to be a woman and proper ladies aren’t angry or violet but meek and submissive. As humans we all need to do better and let each other feel our feelings and give ourselves space to figure them out.
You hear a 15 minute video about a uniquely male problem and male suffering and the first thing you do is come and comment that "also women"? You are part of the problem.
All the issues are coming from caring about opinions of others and comparing yourself to others. If you stop all that then you don't need much and can be simply happy
On some level we all care what others think about us. To pretend otherwise is cope (unless you're some hermit living in the woods alone ig). We're social creatures whether you admit it or not
In regards to *domestic violence* being "mostly men" I've come across something interesting several years back, which is some historical curves from the USA. If correct, then in the past it probably was male > female. But the male side of the equation has been dropping alot over the last several decades, while the female one has gone sideways to sligthly rising. At some point in the early 2000s the curves crossed and since then it's female > male.
This is so true, I remember back from about 2001-2005 I was much happier. That was ages 17-21 for me. This was a time before social media was so prominent. I remember I used to spend 6 hours in my day walking to the mall...I'd have my earphones in listening to music, walk around talk to people, buy some food in the food court and then buy an anime DVD or whatever and then take it home and watch it. Never looking at the internet even one time...until I sat down at the computer for about an hour before bed to check up on my messages in MSN messenger or Myspace. So the Internet would only occupy my mind for about an hour everyday. Now it's so easy to access that it's almost a sickness or addiction that distracts us from the bad feelings that come along with growth and being with ourselves internally. It's not good...we're losing too much touch with our own strength and sense of self, that's why men behave less masculine these days.
Wow. 6 hours. That is a long time, but good workout. I would have invested in a bike if I had been you. Those years were relatively peaceful, the early 2000s. I remember I was able to walk alone in the mall being 13 to 14 years old and not have any problems with anybody, window shopping and just reading books in the bookstore or browsing the video game store or eating in food court while my parents shopped.
Yes, introspection works, and the first time you need to do is: Agree with yourself to treat yourself fairly. Don't let society persuade you to be harder on yourself than others, to love everyone except yourself. That would be unjust, and you must never be unjust to anyone, yourself included.
I have to disagree, maybe they have abandoned a bad relationship with the mother but most good men are willing to continue a supportive relationship with their children.@@peachesandpoets
Yeah where is the evidence simp ? The government is against us man when it comes to child custody, shelter services, medical, uh women have it so easy that many are allowed to abort a child.sadly.
@@mathius_dragoon532 @14:25 listen to the last section of this video. I was a single father for about sixteen years until my son left to live with his girlfriend, now wife.He struggles sometimes. I struggle too, but as they said in the last section of the video, work on yourself.
Try to connect and get rejected sounds like what ive been through. People don't want to connect anymore outside of just the normal small talk when you see them at work or church so sad.
You don’t need friends, It’s all just you anyway, Everyone is programmed to think they need someone or something outside of themselves, It’s all just you anyway, Everyone is programmed to say “it’s unhealthy to not have a social life” Which is B.S, When people say that you hear it and you start to believe it and it becomes true for you, Once you get these “friends” they most likely are unconscious and apart of the matrix and you are then further trained to “hustle” “grind” “video games are for losers” “When you going to get married” All programmed B.S until you old in sitting in hospice and realized none of it mattered, Only thing that mattered is what you enjoyed to do and how you treated others (they are you) nothing outside of yourself (ego convinced you to think you are separate) made you experience joy, You will NEVER find happiness outside yourself, If you want friends so be it but you don’t need them………Everything you need you already have.
The next frontier is masculinity is to embrace the feminine, IMO. And the best part is, you don’t have to paint your nails and walk around in leopard print leggings. I do yoga, drink green smoothies, go to therapy, journal, practice talking about my feelings, have a skin care routine, and dress quasi-fashionably. All of these could be considered feminine, but even doing all of them doesn’t make me appear feminine to others, it’s more hidden. As an added bonus, it helps me empathize with women, getting a little taste of the work they put themselves thru to be pretty. As another added bonus, it allows me to access feminine energy in my life, even if I don’t have a woman in it. That in turn keeps me from getting too desperate and clingy when it comes to attention from women. A life devoid of femininity, just masculine posturing and problem solving, is incomplete.
In my experience its not accepted to feel anger and fight back if bullied. My classmates, teachers and parents shamed and guildtripped me for it, so I draw the only logical conclusion and numbed myself entirely. By now I know I shouldve should improved myself but as a kid it didnt work Still struggling to get back in touch w my emotions but I have no Idea how to ("Usual tips" like do things that yk you loved or try new things dont work, I even confronted almost every single fear I have/had but still I dont feel more then helplesness/lonliness or really rare anger, if something at all) At 11:50 my mind processes it diferently. Sadness, fear etc get turned into sadness/helplesness cause I know I cant change it (if I see a way I can I try to do it by now)
10:05 "Most domestic violin comes from men". This is only true if we exclude female form of aggression. Yelling, passive-aggressive abuse, emotional blackmail, implying things to raise shame in men, guilt tripping, etc.
I have thought about this, how the only measured form of domestic violence is physical when most of it seems to be emotional/verbal. If this was measured too I would guess we should see a lot of women abusing men since there are many whipped men out there.
@@snoowbrigade exactly. And think about it for a moment. When you hear women talk about how they need to "instruct" their men not to do stupid things followed by a laugh, or when they are just degrading men's behavior in general it all shows how toxic many women can be.
I am all for men being a community together and helping support each other and lift each other up, it's a shame that we're not taught to be there for each other in society, can I started working in behavioral health recently and I really want to make a difference.
Suppressing my anger was a huge mistake I made for years. Like said here, I was told by many (including therapists) that I had to process my anger and was only allowed to show sadness. Doing that broke me down. Now I have a better relationship with anger and understand its importance in the balance of my emotions.
I think we have been lied to as to how Darwinian the dating world is, and in this society, men are just needed less and less by women, and to to birth control and contrapection, women can sleep with men with less risk of getting pregnant. Women are also now graduating more than men and are just as successful in the workplace.
The real question should then not be looked at then, as to what Men's roles ought to be. If the system can so endlessly provide for and leverage Vv0m3n when they don't actually do any real productive work and just glide free on the system, then why are Men being denied this by the system then if it's obvious that it can yet be provided for everyone!? Think about it.
They are graduating more but ending up mostly in useless middle management jobs that exist to fill quotas. Society is slowly crumbling in its fervent pursuit of equity.
Never heard of this guy before, but I'm impressed. He is spot on with the constant distraction hindering us to process not only the outside information probably, I would ad, but also ourselves. We loose ourselves because we search at the wrong place.
The biggest problem IMO is that you're no longer guaranteed to get the rewards even if you put in the work and get the results. You can hit the gym and get a head turning physique, go out and socialize until your social skills are on point, and build yourself up until you have world class confidence, but none of that means that you'll get the expected rewards of doing better with women, having more career opportunities, or seeing an improvement in networking. When it's possible to put in the work and get the results, but be denied the rewards, it creates a very dangerous world.
If you have a career, make lots of money, socialize with a circle of friends, and hit the gym to stay fit and attractive -- all traits of a so-called top guy --, you'll then have "too little time for her" or be "too self-centered". A man today can't do right anymore. He simply can't.
Eh. Look at it this way... 20-30 years ago we wouldn't even be having this conversation. This video wouldn't even exist. You try to talk about this and everyone would either tell you to "man up" or call you gay (nothing wrong with it, if anyone is, mind you) Its slow progress but it's something
This might sound silly, but I believe we are born with instincts , right. And we have domesticated each other too much. We need our instincts . For instance ,our Gut feeling. It's real! We are wired internally with that gut feeling . (I'm just using that as an example).
"I try to belong to a group and that group usually will thwart my attempts to join the community". Dr. K, that's exactly what happened to me on your Discord community a few months ago. I've tried to tell you but no one has been listening to me!
I have been on this Earth over twice as long as this “Doctor” has been alive. I am a GOOD man because of my Mother AND my Father. It is just that simple. THESE TWO people set you up for life. A good extended family, I had 13 Aunts, and zero Uncles, with my awesome Grandma. THESE people made me who I am, a good man. I have been married for 30 years, 2 great kids, 2 great Grand Kids. All the answers you will ever need, are located in that mirror you look at every morning. MJ was right, if you don't like what you see, make a change. First rule, be yourself, do what's right, Be kind, Treat others like you want others to treat you, and you will be just fine.
So I google "my wife is yelling at me what should i do?" this is what came up. "If your wife is yelling at you, take a moment and listen. Take her seriously and try to respond to what she is saying as if she is not yelling at you. Doing so can de-escalate the conversation. Remember that you are not accepting the yelling as healthy by responding this way." Then I googled "my husband is yelling at me what should I do?" this is what came up. "Stay calm, set boundaries, suggest speaking later when emotions have cooled, and disengage if yelling starts. Make clear you won't accept shouting. Encourage counselling to learn coping mechanisms and communication skills. Don't react or yell back."
I found peace of mind in philosophy and the works of Jung. I learned to look inward and detach from the external world. I deleted my Instagram and said a big “screw it” to everything. Believe me, it’s very beneficial to internalize your attention and “meditate”… And it doesn’t have to be in the conventional sense of the word. Try working out without headphones and spend an hour talking to yourself. I guarantee you’ll find some answers.
4:45 I tried to get sympathy from someone I was dating when I was worried about starting a new career to make more money to support a family. I was told I shouldn't worry because I am a white man and that makes it easier to get accepted to schools and get hired. Everyone's life is difficult in different ways, it doesn't matter what your background is.
📺 Watch the full episode here -
th-cam.com/video/B_5N_aDu3u0/w-d-xo.html
ill be honest. i hate the word loser. i never call people losers, not even people i can't stand i wont call a loser.
actually, recent research indicates that men are victim of domestic abuse more than are women.
Why no link to HealthyGamerGG?
You aren't going to educate many older guys, when you lead with your ego.
Have a meditation routine and do some Jungian shadow work. You'll feel better for it.
“Killing oneself is, anyway, a misnomer. We don't kill ourselves. We are simply defeated by the long, hard struggle to stay alive. When somebody dies after a long illness, people are apt to say, with a note of approval, "He fought so hard." And they are inclined to think, about a suicide, that no fight was involved, that somebody simply gave up. This is quite wrong.” ― ( Sally Brampton, Shoot the Damn Dog: A Memoir of Depression)
I think it takes a lot of bravery to commit suicide. I don’t have the courage yet.
@@TheSakufighter True, yet it is met with the cliche statement that it's the cowards way out. It's like we're gaslit at every opportunity.
That is not my experience. Suicide is taking the self out, and not as a result of feeling defeated, rather due to an absence of sensible ideas of how to proceed.
I often joke that if the USA did not have people with hellfire and brimstone sermons, it would have statistics like South Korea.
@@skylinefever This, it appears, is one of the several selective survival advantages of religious societies, besides the provision of community structure, cohesion and moral framework, all attributable to a source beyond reproach. With all this pushback against mono-theism, who would of thought of such unintended, destructive consequences, besides Nietzsche? Even the world's leading celebrity atheist scientists can't help but see the cart ahead of the horse, claiming effect preceded the cause, and thus do not realise what they do.
the concept of "thwarted belongingness" and its correlation with suicide makes A LOT of sense
From spiritual point of view you are not suffering.
The ego is suffering.
But Youa re not your Ego.
You have your true self, the soul, that never suffers.
If you understand it you may much more easily implement helathy habits feeling happpy and safe, but it also requires to practice empathy and gratitude for yourself and for others.
and if you are kind enough to yourself and others , you actually atract the same group of people with emphatic and grateful thinking.
Ego thinking is very limited, it doesn´t give you right advices.
You should listen to your higher self and doa breath work and go to a nature etc.
You suffer because you believe that you are your ego.
But you are not your ego, the society taught you that you are your ego. Ego is just a program or software to feel self-limited and not worthy etc
......your natural state is your higher self that operates from place of love, empathy, joy, bliss, creativity gratitude and higher self never suffers.
You may shift your unconscious self into higher self, or conscious self and be more self-consious.
Your words come from a religious (spiritual) tradition that is quite foreign to me, but there is a lot of wisdom in what you write. I definitely subscribe to a conscious daily gratitude and empathy for others, for instance. "You are not your ego" or taking yourself out of the equation is a very useful and healthy mind habit, I believe. Thank you, friend @@alaalfa8839
@@alaalfa8839You gonna tell that to cancer patients and people with muscular dystrophy?
@alaalfa8839 what a load of bologna. That philosophy falls flat when put into practice. The flesh is the blooming flower of the spirit.
@@roastbeef4918 I'll have to agree with you. There are ways to work on spirit and body! Doesn't need to be religion or going to the gym
9:30 I just asked ChatGPT the same two questions in two separate sessions. The response to "My husband is yelling me, what should I do?" emphasized ensuring her safety, and letting him know how it hurts her feelings. The response to "My wife is yelling at me, what should I do?" was to stay calm, listen, acknowledge her emotions. Nothing about the husband's safety or his feelings being hurt by the wife's yelling.. 🤨
@durtutreeman6410 it isn't politically correct to tell the man "if your wife us yelling at you, acknowledge her feelings" while telling the woman "if your husband is yelling at you, tell him how it hurts your feelings". Basically it says the woman's feelings are important, and the man's feelings are not, regardless which one of them is yelling. There is nothing "politically correct" about this.
@@durtutreeman6410 Its not a political response. Its a neural network, which reproduces bias.
@@halleffect5439 absolutely correct. It reproduces bias from the training data it has processed. But that doesn't mean I find the results acceptable.
Men phiscly stronger,tyats why
@@halleffect5439they've encoded a lot of responses and biases into the AI that learn a certain way that are not the result of the training data, or they feed it additional training data to change the responses. That's why reddit is going to be used as AI training data as well.
He literally described my upbringing. Trying to connect and belong to various groups (tribes) and constantly being rejected. I never did succeed at that, and I'm 50 now. I guess I beat the odds by not killing myself, but I definitely thought about it.
Dr. K is absolutely correct. Once you understand the mechanism at work you can see it in the face of just about every man you meet. I think this is the root of a LOT of our problems as a society.
im 50 now too. i built a tribe of one when i was younger. i was better off for it. i now have a tribe of 10 including me. my wife, 7 cats and a dog, my life could not really be any more perfect. i had a great mother who was a great support system but i still pretty much raised myself being genx but i often wonder how my life would have been so radically different if i did not have such an awesome mother. i would not change a thing about my life. its as close to perfect as one can achieve on this earth. if a billion dollars fell into my lap tomorrow my life would not be any better,
This is the result of individualism and all ideologies that practice it.
Looking back, what do you think (specifically) it was in these tribes that rejected you? Was it a common theme?
Sometimes if there is a consistent pattern, it might be an internal/personal issue. If completely different with each tribe, then it might be external/bad luck.
Being honest and impartial is difficult but might be worth knowing. If not for you, but next generation. 🤷♂️
I'm currently facing that rn.
Although I am trying to make myself a regular at a table top gabby store. It does get hard.
No real point going out besides going out to eat.
@@brianmagnus2872I think it’s the “feeling” of being thwarted from a group after trying to be a part of it, regardless of whether it’s objectively his fault or not .
I'll stay alive out of spite.
The world has never accepted me and the feeling is mutual.
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Well said, I know there's people who would laugh if they learned I self-deleted. Therefore every day I stay alive is a middle finger to those people.
Reminds me of what Kevin Samuel said, “Don’t give them the pleasure of your absence”
And they can bury you face down so the world can kiss your ass.
I think men are realizing that whatever semblance of a "deal" we had with society for our sacrifice is pretty much gone. We're still running on the old script, but we have a new "deal." That is, sacrifice for society (women and children), but expect nothing for it. I, for one, won't be doing that. I may die alone, but let's be real; I've been "mentally alone" my whole life.
The worst thing to do in life is to surround yourself with people who make you feel alone.
I get why soldier people have strong connection but we all cannot be soldiers and they seem to get "addicted" and go back to war to have that, which is also not good to get yourself killed that way.
Excellent point. Men are expected to perform and provide as before but the rewards aren’t there.
Exactly
Society will condemn you for doing your own thing and not playing by the rules but ignoring societal expectations is the only chance at real contentment. Just live your life how you want and as you think is best.
One of the most interesting men on this podcast I have listened to yet. Self awareness and self reflection is so important. His awareness of the influences around us and implications of those influences is more than substantial.
Here's the thing. Yes we are invisible, we are also expendable, always have been. I do not expect sympathy or want it because I will get none. That's our role. I stopped wanting to be visible long ago, I only wish to be left alone. This is the world, there's no changing it. You have to just accept that this is our role and do the best you can. The only alternative is self deletion, but I choose to fight. I choose to live.
You are a strong Sigma!
Prey wishes to be left alone. Remember that.
Read Eckhart Tolle!!!!
It’s just as true for women as men, though!
Thats not our role, we write our own stories. The way i see it is you either profit off of building and maintaining this society, or you profit off of its destruction, I've made my decision. Now dear reader, you make yours.
"Most domestic violence comes from men". Read an article debunking that claim: women are commiting as much if not more violence in relationships but: 1. It's barely reported; 2. Less phisical injuries due to less strenght of female perpetrators.
vuolent woman does not exist on court is also a reason.
@@davidkunstist7895 ?
I think i saw somewhere that for people in relationships, around >20% of men ever commited act of physical DV, and >40% of women.
AAAAnd keep in mind that actually toxic men have much higher chance to get into a relationship to begin with, girls wanting "bad boys" and all that, hell even when I was back in school every guy who often had fights after school wasn't ever single, and that was a generation raised by traditional, loving families in a non-western country.
Also, woman can straight up injure a man, call the cops and lie that his injuries are due to her defending herself even if she was untouched, which will always inflate the men's numbers.
The Big 3 emotions!
1) Anger is for boundaries, autonomy, safety.
2) Frustration is NOT being seen, heard or gotten on an emotional level. [Frustration is the seed of aggression]
3) Shame is that I'm a mistake. Not guilt, I've made a mistake ( behavior based)... but identity based...and we'll do just about anything to not feel shame!!!
Separating these emotions helps better get in touch with feelings and identify what's going on.....better able to acknowledge and take or find solutions!
That’s impressive. Do you have a further reference on the topic? Appreciated.
Pretty on point with that assessment.
If im angry, i work out.
If im depressed, i ask myself “what is causing me to feel depressed? Am i not doing something that my body is trying to warn me about?”
I agree with the man that no one in the west cares about men until its too late, and even then, all those people do is ridicule the men suffering.
Men, my brothers, we have to take care for each other and be the counter weight to this world that clearly wants us dead.
The problem is society is pitting us against each other. We are only being told to compete with each other but that is creating loneliness.
@@yousaidwhaaaattt8631 Competing and going to war with each other are two very different things.
@@flyingwombatazazz6736
True, you can at least died in war with some honor but the competition last forever and it pretty ruthless.
I don't think the world wants us dead.
There are demographics sections of the population evidently want dead and the difference in treatment is tangible.
I think "the world" simply doesn't care. I don't like it, but, really, the best (and only, it feels like) thing we can do is solidarity; only us can help ourselves.
Its not just about they dont care about how we feel. We can take that as a man. Hardly matters. But they just completely disrespect us dont appreciate anything that we do at all is where the problem is.
5:15 - literally my experience. Growing up as a child, my survival was to be as invisible as possible. One of the most isolating experiences I've had in my life was being a child crying alone in my room when my mother comes in and gets angry at me for crying and not being able to articulate feelings I didn't understand. From a young age, I knew I was alone in an awful world full of awful people.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I related so hard to your comment that it brought back memories I had forgotten for a long time so you're not alone in that at least. I just don't cry anymore because both of my parents were like what you described your mom as. Showing emotion even by myself was never safe so I just don't let myself feel anything anymore 🤷🏻♀️ Super healthy. I hope you're finding a way to heal from that.
@@unicorn-glasseswow it's really true, women always blame things to external factors, it was my childhood, it was my ex, it was the world, instead of taking responsibility.
I recently watched a video how women keep themselves in their victim misdet and literally the 1st point was "blaming it to their childhood"
"I knew I was alone in an awful world full of awful people." Same here bruh.
@@nammi895 You forgot about third and fourth-wave feminists blaming the "Patriarchy" for _literally_ *all* problems that have ever existed.
everyone is in complex world trying their best, and awfully sucking at it at times. sincerely hope things got better for you, and the bad times made the good times more precious and impactful
The further you get past 45, the more the long term exhaustion from prolonged anger shows. I visit my ancient parents in the retirement home all the time. That place is 90% populated by women. And for most of them, their husbands died decades ago.
Brutal !😢
They smoked them husbands😂😂😂
@@in.edieudonnesworld3167 Wore them down into little nubbin, just squeaking little gerbils until their brain says enough and that's it, heart stops and the nightmare is over. Wife inherits everything, lives with 10 cats and hangs out with the other widows talking shit about their dead husbands. What a sick and sad world we have created.
@@tedwojtasik8781 nothing new under the sun. It has always been there. There just more exposure to things now than ever before.
This is a way too simple way of looking at things. Men are way more likely to engage in unhealthy behavior, men way more often have physically demanding jobs, men also are in the vast majority when it comes to dangerous jobs like being in the army, etc. .
The mixture of depression & isolation is slowly killing me. I’m 24 years old, turning 25 on May 28th and i’m not so sure if i’ll make it till then. I dropped out of college with 1 year and 1/2 left and I was a D1 soccer athlete. I was so charismatic, loud, and happy. Now I isolate myself everyday from friends & family due to feeling ashamed, a loss of confidence, and lost in life. I know I have to change but I just can’t seem to get myself to do so. Don’t know why i’m writing this, just wanted to vent I guess. I wish everyone on here going through something the absolute best 💯❤️
I wouldn’t give up on yourself men don’t peek until they’re 30s. You still have more years to go. College isn’t for everyone, just because you dropped out doesn’t make you a loser. It’s actually very common for people to drop out…41% dropout rate. Try to figure out what it is you really want to do and pursue that. Maybe try a trade school or volunteering somewhere.
Hey Omar 😀 I'm 41. 9th grade education. Poor, broken, unstable family. Neglected. Abused. Abandoned. Borderline personality disorder. Alcohol and drug addiction. Somehow I've found great meaning in life. By looking deep within. Education, jobs, money, status, popularity, girlfriends, cars etc, those are simply external material things. They will never define who you really are as a person. I strongly suggest getting out of your current environment and away from anyone and anything that makes you feel ashamed. Go somewhere very beautiful and isolated and try to look at your life from another perspective. Ask yourself, Are you living your true authentic life? Are you living under someone else's unfair expectations? Do the people closest to you judge you or put unfair pressure on you? Are your closest friends or family supportive? Are they there for you in your times of need? Are you truly walking a path that you have chosen?
I'm 37 and I've been in and out of dead end jobs. Almost had my left leg removed due to contracting a deadly infection. And I have type 1 diabetes and severe ADHD. I grew up without a close relationship to my father.
I'm incredibly lost. I feel like giving up. Its the constant feeling of drowning in my struggles that makes life so hard.
Get your butt into see a doctor.
Was dropping out of college is what made you feel this way or did something happened before that? How were your relationships to family and friends before? I want to suggest what someone told me when I was at my wit's end, go home and go to your family. It doesn't get better right away. There's work to be done. It's been a little over 10 years since my moment, and I am so glad I persisted. And I hope you will persist and live on too.
Norah Vincent - the radical feminist who decided to live life as a man for 18 months in the 2000s to prove how easy it was. It traumatised her so much, she committed suicide as the process took its toll on her. Before she died she become a supporter of men's rights and said "men need more support and more love, we're failing them"
She committed suicide? I read the book and she wanted to, while living as a man. I think living as a man or a woman sucks because both roles are so rigid and don't allow much freedom.
This information is wrong. You're correlating her death to her experience living as a man. These events are almost 20 years apart.
@@jonathan.soiferYes. She died via assisted suicide in 2022, supposedly as a result of depression which can’t easily be traced directly back to her experiences pretending to be male.
@@thefuturist8864 Where does the data to this "easily" come from? I couldn't find anything online. Unless you have sources, that's just an opinion
@@jonathan.soifer It's on her wikipedia page.
I read her book (Self-Made Man) and while, as a man, there was little news in it, it was still interesting to see it all through her eyes, her mind. I would also hesitate to say that this specific experience caused her to check out, I do think that it affected her deeply. I greatly respect how far she went in trying to understand what was initially an opposing view and then re-evaluating her own views based on what she learned.
I am starting to question the domestic violence statistics…we as men are conditioned to NOT recognize being hit by a women as violence…but it seems to happen all too often…
When indirect or non physical aggression are counted as domestic violence women have a slightly higher rate. Also in non mutual DV, women it's higher (ie when one partner is not violent at all, it's usually the man)
Questioning how information is gathered, usually, is more of a good thing than it's not, because it's how you get to gather better statistics
A collection of British studies gathered evidence in this regard. Women initiate violence more, and are the usual perpetrators of acts of psychological and non-life threatening physical abuses. Men initialte violence less, and are in vast majority the perpetrators of most life threatening assaults.
You can summarize the situation as "men end the violence women start", in a very tragic and unsettling way.
@@dxfifacheck out DV rates in lesbian relationships, btw. Eye-opening
You should question all of them - especially since for both genders, they are probably far under reported. As most victims of either gender are not going to report anything. I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out, there were higher number of unreported cases against men based on men I’ve known.
Just making the entire issue of violence against men about dunking on women or feminists, isn’t going to be good for anybody. Which is the mistake I see a lot of people making.
Excellent interview, thank you.
I'm 49 and have never felt so unmotivated and depressed. I was a happy go luck guy In my teens and 20s, even 30s.
I would go back to the Late 80s/early 90s in a heartbeat.
I think literally everyone our age would want to go back to those times
ditto to TDG75 my sentiments exactly
Stay strong man, find something you loved before and go all in on it. Never give up.
Sorry, but it's not an excellent interview. This guy never provides solutions, and has no ideas about how we can force a change in society.
I'm basically the same age and dealing with the same problem. I look at the comments section and it seems like this is more common than I realized. I find this to be something of a reassurance.
Men aren't allowed to suffer, because it's not manly. At the same time, men are told being stoic or not showing emotion is toxic masculinity. It's a no win scenario.
@nukestormgg In a nutshell, yes.
Both Feminists and influencers like Andrew Tate have destroyed the minds of young men. It's basically a lose-lose situation.
@@D402S Men have ruined men.
@@D402S It wasn't feminism, it was patriarchy. The system that has been hurting literally everyone fi=or generations.
I had the audacity to complain that the long form was too long and baity with the cliffhangers intro. Now that I found the clips page... I'm super duper happy. Your interviews, to me, are THE bests. And this clip format is just way too good. Such depth in 15 minutes. Lovely.
Damn .. You Both Nailed Manhood !
She's allowed to cry.
She vents emotions.
He's not allowed to get angry.
He internalizes emotions.
It builds up, the volcano blows 🤬
Don't forget another one: her problems are your problems, but your problems are only your problems.
@@facubeitches1144wow that's hot stuff. thank you
"being emotional is the opposite of feeling" - women fake emotions to control and manipulate people, men FEEL emotions deep inside.
Think of a big disaster, the men will rush in, risking their lives to save others, women will cry until the men have dealt with the situation, so they don't have to get involved.
He's not allowed to get angry? Lol.
You're built to suck up to men because they're strong and can harm you... Your eyes get full of hearts and your chest swells with pride.. but you're a woman to every stronger man, you've just had it too soft to ever have to find out. It used to be unusual for a man to live long because he would have many fights to the death to survive. Now it takes less to be a man than to be a woman even. Just exist. Many men haven't even been in a fistfight as an adult. They know that and that's the source of their angst. It's easier to be a man, you don't even have to make yourself pretty or be polite to avoid angering people. You just... Exist... and congratulate each other on your superiority to women. But you know it's a lie.
There is a wonderful book named 'The Boy Crisis' by Warren Farrell, which explains in detail the empathy gap/inequality regarding men.
"The most dangerous thing for a man under 45 is themselves."
Damn
Feminism, and the government and biased media against them.
You are SO wrong LMAO.
Leave it to a Female to FAIL to understand Men LMFAO, of Course!
Why? Get it together. Hobbies. Therapy. Something.
I was severely bullied.
Talked to teacher: It got worse.
I asked for help: It got worse.
I cried about it: It got WAY worse.
I was bullied throughout my entire eduction.
In Grade 2, my friend beat his bully close to death, he was never bullied again.
You obviously went to an inadequate school.
If your friend did that as an adult, he'd be in jail. A lot of masculine behavior is punished hard by society
@@autoclearanceuk7191 are there adequate schools? What I got from teachers was mostly disdain and annoyance.
In the 80s, they let the bully get to the third year of high school, and finish that. But that was it - he never came back to the school, for those final two years, where most of the students are trying to get into university. Everyone knew that guy would simply have not fit into that environment - so instead of waiting for that incongruity to occur, they just stopped him from coming to that school ever again. That was one of the better schools in the state as far as how many of the students went on to tertiary education though. A lesser school in that way may well have tolerated the bully the whole way through the five years.
There's a lot of things I don't understand about life, but some things are clear as day to me. I suspect some of that is the time I grew up in, some is cultural, and some genetic.
In any case, I know these things, and knew them 38-39 years ago also, at age 13:
1) Never mention anything about a bully to a teacher (BTW my mother was a high school teacher at the time and for 35 years)
2) Never ask for help with a bully directly - but I did find a friend who helped me mildly terrorize him once while he slept at night at his folk's house
3) Never react emotionally to a bully even in private, but definitely not in public
I couldn't even tell you why I believe or know this stuff, but the world is not somewhere where you can go to a higher power and have a bully demoted. Bullies in fact are usually the higher powers themselves, in the big bad world out there. If the teachers, who have the authority and power, don't choose to oust the bully, so be it - that falls within their capabilities so if they don't choose to exercise that power, something else is more important in the background or "behind the curtains" that we couldn't see as kids. The bully exists as a learning tool, even if it's a lesson most kids would rather not have to learn, and they will be an early introduction to a string of often worse bullies down the line - by shielding yourself from them as a kid, you're only weaker when having to deal with them as an adult. And I can tell you that at my school, the home class with the bully had about half the number of students of all the other home classes - which happened because many kids demanded to be in other classes than the bully in their second year, after what they'd seen in the first year at high school. I was never in such deserted school classroom my entire life in fact.
Society is built to keep them that way. Hard work and sacrifice is overrated. If you aren’t in the right circles you’re it goin very fall. Who you know is way more important than anything.
Thank you, this cannot be said enough, it's all about who you know and that goes back to antiquity
I like to say "If they wanted me to work, I'd be working"
Let the strong independent feemales sort it out ig
Absolutely. Then it advertises the occasional person getting to the top and advertising that it could be you. The system profits off everyone who tries hard and does not make it.
That may be the biggest reason the black pill is hated. It's made of people who won't struggle to climb the corporate ladder, just so some C-suite jerk can kick them off again.
@@skylinefever yep, whole system is based on a bs sales job. It’s what keeps the whole thing going, biggest sales/marketing scheme ever.
@@Mmmmchocolate I called the college degree mess the longest long con of all.
Been an avid follower of Dr K’s work for a couple of years. So great to hear him in on Stephen’s platform. 🏆
There is another emotion: I don't give a shit. No, this is not anger. It really is simply not caring. It is really liberating to not give a shit, especially about women.
You're here so you're obviously butthurt that nobody gives a shit about you either.
Indifference. It's one of the keys to survival.
I don’t believe that you don’t give a shit. It’s completely fine to focus on yourself, but suppressing your actual emotions will lead to no good. Being honest to yourself will be the first step towards a happier life
Not caring is the best remedy all the time
@@Bemenhorst Could also depend where this guy is in life. As you get older you genuinely stop caring about stuff that once seemed important. Women may still look nice but there really is no motivation to get involved.
Most people don’t have any real connections these days
No, they do. People are still sensitive. Just love and respect people and you will have friends, even fake friends are better than having none
I have damn near none
@@in.edieudonnesworld3167 kind of hard to find real friends when they blend in with all those snakes waiting to bite you on the heel the secound you trust them ive never done so but ive seen it happen lots of snakes in the us id say atleast 50% of people cant be trusted half of all people you cant trust them maybe more than half
Morpheus would say "how do you define real?"
@@in.edieudonnesworld3167 Thats true for the most part but it depends on how bad the bad friends are.
Why is playing video games considered a "Loser?" I never understood that. I played video games with tons of different people. We can't all be losers. Also what are single women doing that is so cool?
Everything not giving women resources, attention or help is deemed as such.
@@lionmartinez7986 I noticed.
Get real man, video games are a waste, you could be learning an instrument, language, etc and youre on Fifa/LoL/Genshin instead. I like games too but they are a waste of time, especially if thats all you do. Has nothing to do with "da Wahmen" and everything to do with you.
@@greenpinapple820 how does learning an instrument or language help me out? i don't play video games, but seriously, I fail to see the difference
It’s about value, video games provide no value to outsiders, young women have vagina
Dr. K is saving the world one person at a time. A truly unpilferable gem amongst a sea of thieves
This is actually a really good discussion. It brings up a lot of points that get overlooked in mainstream society.
Ppl need to stop worshipping The Joker and Tyler Durden. Being marginalized isnt an excuse to be a psychopath. Those are just characters in multi-million dollar movies.
This clip presents a lot of compelling arguments to why we should be setting aside time to meditate regularly
This conversation might matter 30 years from now, but nothing is going to change right now. Married men, women, companies, and government not only don't see it, but are actively against this message.
Nothing stays the same.
@@Cafeallday222 So true. We Men must be consistend and dont stop telling our narrative and perspective.
@@Cafeallday222that's BS
Im gonna drive some people crazy with this comment but... I can feel it shifting now
i always hate it when people with blind empty hope try and be all things will get better its not all bad well sometimes yes things may get better but sometimes they get a hell of a lot worst before getting even worst than you thought it could and maybe 100 200 300 years from now they might get better after all of us have die 250 years before things ever got better just accept life sometimes only gets worst and no amount of empty word of hope and sweet honeyed lies typed in the comments of a youtube vid is going to convince people otherwise
This is correct. If my girlfriend vents by crying and continuously talking it's perfectly fine.
But if I vent because I am justifiably angry due to an event then I'm violent, selfish, scary, and abusive.
Was with my then girlfriend at the time and was driving down a local road. Out of no where a van pulled out right in front of us. I had to slam the breaks and missed getting hit by an inch. I was so angry I was screaming at the van driver who, of course, took off. I was so frightened and upset I stayed stopped to vent my anger, frustration, and fear that we almost were in an accident. Instead of my girl friend saying something like "that maniac almost killed us, good job stopping in time" she screamed "maybe he's having a bad day!" I could instantly tell she resented that I was angry and venting. To her mind I wasn't ALLOWED to be angry and frightened and to show it. She resented it so much she took the van driver's side over our own! Another time my girlfriend and I were working in the same office and a solicitor came in to sell something. We told him we weren't interested but rather than leave he became belligerent and started to become threatening. I told him to leave but he wouldn't. I told my girlfriend to call the police, but she did nothing and said nothing. She just sat there. The threat escalated and I told her again, loudly, to call the cops. Again, no response. Meanwhile I started to shove the guy out of the office and said to my girlfriend as loudly as I could to call the cops already. She finally "woke up" and screamed back at the top of her lungs at me "I already did". it was a lie. She never called the cops as I told her to. And why ? Because she was angry with ME that I was acting angry while I took on a threatening intruder. This girlfriend was the same as the one in the car. I eventually dumped her because I learned that it was fine for her to vent her emotions, which she did ALL the time, but never fine when I vent mine. In fact, when I do vent my emotions she would resent it and retaliate, as I related here. That's what our f*cked up culture has produced. I don't get pathologically angry. I've seen that in others. I'm just talking about normal swearing after an event and fuming. Just a minute to get over it is all that is needed, but even that isn't allowed.
Your comment made me realise something regarding treatment from a former friend. We were close(or so I thought) and I would sometimes either vent my dating woes to her or relate a stort in which I was screwed over in dating(including some fucked-up instances in which a woman was a real c for no reason other than to be selfish) and such which she would just do the exact same thing as your ex-make excuses for them all day no matter the context. I initially thought it was because she sees me as some unattractive incel troll(she even called me one once), but now I realise she's just sexist.
Then again, she also cheated on her husband, kept it going for a minute, then lied to him by saying she was taken advantage of(she relayed the whole incident to me with a hint of glee & enjoyment), and continues to run with this lie. So obviously she's a very shady person to begin with. Thing is, ime this general mentality seems to be par-for-the-course for women these days, or I just have the esquisite luck of running into ALL the toxic b******.
Maybe, she was testing you. Women like chaos and was waiting for escalation. Well, if you have screamed at her before, maybe she secretly wanted you to screamed at a man. Women are resentful and will play these tests to get you to fight other people in public. This is why you have to match with somebody who will be your team mate in life for both your safety and security, not create problems in life with other people, but for you two to be focused on yourselves and later work together to raise a child for him or her to become the best person he or she can be.
@@jacqueslee2592 I know what you're saying but it was no test. She would never be a good teammate. I did find one though. We were in a parking lot and an aggressive man was starting a fight with me. I launched forward to give him what he was begging for but my new girlfriend launched first and was screaming at him to get the F away right now. And he did ! i knew then and there I had a true partner. Been together since. She has NEVER taken someone else's side. When there is an issue, we circle the wagons and I know she has my back. My old girlfriend would put a knife in it.
Acting angry and scary isn't the same thing as crying. If you're crying that's good. I'm not sure how you seem to think there is a connection between crying and violence?
@@jacqueslee2592 One thing you have to remember is as much as women like to think they're as strong as men they aren't. I don't just mean physically, they are far more emotional and can't control them as well and that's a fact. It's why they typically don't do well in professions that require you to be cool and collected. We can pretend all we want we're the same but women do not have the insane levels of testosterone that men have and we need to stop pretending they do.
For what it's worth, that changed. Looking up "my wife is yelling at me" now brings up the support hotline as well.
Things are 100% changing. Men are realizing they need to stop relying on women for all their support and happiness and look to other men. This is the exact reason why men are suffering with no support where as women are supported. Women support women but men do not do this and wonder why they are not supported. They want to be supported but forget to support other men. It works both ways and things are just starting to change.
This was brilliant and supports much of the thinking around having an either internal or external biased locus of control.
Reconnecting with oneself is just so important
It so interesting, that we do not speak about toxic femininity.
Exactly
Girls will cheat, lie, and be the worst people in the world and people will praise them for it. Meanwhile if men say something slightly offensive, you lose your job, or you get “cancelled”.
They claim it doesn't exist because "femininity isn't toxic" lol.
I mean, the suffragettes talked about it for literal years. They just didn't use that term. Are you misunderstanding the phrase or just throwing a pity party?
@@CapsLock959 You are a tool.
Fuckin' A, thank you Dr K for voicing such a passionate defense of modern men.
To anyone reading this, I hope you have a fantastic day.
i found my peace in the gym ! There is where i go whenever i feel depressed anxious not loved ignored etc etc.. and i work hard ! sometime i cry when no one can see me
I see you 🤗❤️
See a therapist. The gym won't solve your problems.
@@brainbane8550 so therapists do? Lol
@@salty3069 In short, yes. Your incredulous question is why I don't take men's "issues" seriously. You don't want to be better, you want the world to conform to your whims. Modern men are spoiled crybabies who can't adapt to the environmental pressures we created for ourselves. We wanted individualism and rugged capitalism and and so here we are. Everyone's losing. Having fun, yet?
Working out provides endorphins, it may not solve the problem but it definitely helps. Feeling good is a potent counter to depression.
75 yrs old, ex jock, ex prospector, ex biker, ex sailor, ex teacher, ex husband, currently boyfriend in long term thing. Never have I ever asked myself what it means to be a man. You just are what you are and ignore the bullshit.
Cool how about looking at how your generation ruined American society, politics, and hollowed out mfg to send to east Asia? Good riddance Boomer. Sail away with sleepy dementia Joe already.
5:48 Most domestic violence DO NOT come from men. Per Harvard research, most domestic violence are reciprocal and in the event where domestic violence is one-way, women by far are the perpetrators.
I've seem some historical curves from the USA about that. If correct, then in the past it probably was male > female. But the male side of the equation has been dropping alot over the last several decades, while the female one has gone sideways to sligthly rising. At some point in the early 2000s the curves crossed and since then it's female > male.
yep they are usually the initiators and instigators as well. Men do a bit more damage on average for obvious physical reasons
@gottisttott6350 absolutely. women know exactly how they can hurt you.
Thank you for this, I've been battling depression, bipolar, and psychosis for years.
I've had more suicidal thoughts than I can count on both hands.
I think this is so important to acknowledge and yet we're putting blinders on one of the biggest killers of young men...
To anyone reading this: don't give up and just know that you matter!!! ❤
I find it extremely important for us to start having these conversations because even though we have known that men are in crisis for a while now, the numbers have stayed the same. We need to start doing something about it and awareness is the first step.
Awesome video.
We need to start, but we won't. Society doesn't care about men. So I say let fail.
Best thing is get away from the bloody smart phone and social media is conditioning you every god Dam day .
Kind of true it depends on what you use social media for, I mean TH-cam is social media too. If you use it to just look at stuff like how rich people live or hot girls/guys then it isn't a good thing, but if you use it to learn something then it is great. My oldest son is working on a 1993 truck he has got it up and running all by himself all from TH-cam, I learned to knit from TH-cam my Instagram is all craft and gardening stuff. It's just like food if you consume junk food you get fat, if you consume junk media you turn in to a junk person.
@@krystelhardesty9960 Many, including myself, don't consider TH-cam anywhere close to being social media. If anything, it's just or mostly a video platform allowing people to make comments..
the source if aggresion is not insecurity, i see it more as another level of confidence, I'm not talking aggression as in being a bully but literally using anger to build yourself up, when you are angry and you want a job, you will open doors you wouldn't if you were mild angry or not at all, some level of anger is connected to hunger for life and to strife.
I wouldn't have lost 150lbs and got ripped if I wasn't angry, or have had a few hot ladies. they don't want men angry, they want us entertained and passively depressed and self defeated. anger makes action, men who take action are a problem for anyone that doesn't have the mens best interest in mind.
@@ministryofwrath damn right, anger is scary for them, but most women love their man to get angry at other people and show them their place, to not fuk with thtie family. For us anger is another recognition of movement, I mean just look at Mike Tyson as good example, dude was an anger machine in the ring, but he wasalso some of the most confident boxers to step in the ring. Anger can be a powerful emotions if used for good but too many connect anger with all bad because they don't even know basic psychology
It’s probably better to say there’s a “righteous anger” than aggression. That there’s a reason, a virtuous reason, to be angry at something and to use that rage productively:
@@BASSFZz i agree with you on saying rightfully angry, solid point.
@@ministryofwrathI have no idea what are you talking about. You know right that the internet doesn't depict every woman of the world? Or that the internet is polarized? I welcome you to the outside world. Get rid of that screen taht makes you depressed and go to nature. The green and the fresh air will make you happy.
As a man we should not rely on what people (especially women) think about us to dictate if we are a "real man" or not. We should figure out what kind of man we want to be and be that and then let the people who rock with us, rock with us. And the people who don't we shouldn't care about them.
Very powerful words 🙌. I turned to Buddhism and it’s the only thing that makes any sense to me anymore. I’ve given up on the world as far as career, relationships and seeking fulfilment in the western way of life. It just doesn’t work. Buddhism has taught me how to stop “externalising” and look within again.
Yes men, it is ok to be a man - you dont need to worry about what society thinks - they arent worrying about what you think!
No it isn't ok to be a man. You get punished for being a man. Rough housing on the playground? Detention. Fighting in school? Expelled. Asking a female coworker for her number? Fired if your lucky, SH charges if your not. Not going outside? Loser. Not dating anyone? Incel. Working out? Meathead. Not working out? Lazy. Expressing emotions? Bitch made. Not expressing emotion? Not in touch with your emotions. Getting married? Idiot. Not getting married? How dare you! Anything an everything about being a man is "toxic" or "wrong". Men are giving up on masse for a reason.
I mean, are people actually telling you it's not okay irl? Or are you just gravitating toward bizzare online spaces. It's a strange thing to feel the need to justify.
@CapsLock959 Thanks for bringing that energy everybody is talking about , Smdh.
@@CapsLock959 Where have you been? 99.9999999% of people who self identify as feminists are overt misandrists.
There was a post on reddit not too long ago that the punchline of a joke was "Being a mermaid sounds great because you get to LURE MEN TO THEIR DEATHS". Women spent literal hundreds of dollars giving this post rewards. Had thousands and thousands and thousands of upvotes. Thats just one example. Talk to any feminist and it will be overtly obvious they "HATE" men.
@@commonsense3921 no idea who "everyone" is or what "energy" you're talking about but erm ... you're welcome I guess?
Hes right about anger cancelling out pain
As a woman who has struggled and gradually become wiser kinder more active to recognize & improve on my own failings I resonated with his point that anger is the innate instant response to emotional pain. Just saying, it's not just men. But when women get mad we tend to be 'rewarded' with sympathy for giving in & showing our hurts while men are 'criticized / belittled' and to my everlasting shame now I realize I've treated men that way too. Jesus it's hard to get life right.
@@PaigeHailyHall For women, it depends on the situation. We often don’t get rewarded for anger, but called b words for not smiling through problems and being “unreasonable.” We can’t win.
@PaigeHailyHall Women will more typically get validated through victimization than anger. They'll often receive grace for it even when they shouldn't. As men, we can't seek sympathy in any capacity as we'll get more than simple criticism, we'll get told to man up, that our feelings don't matter and more importantly we'll be shamed for wanting to express what women want us desperately to express. The funny thing is that the shaming will come more from women than it will from men. We do get sympathy when we commit suicide though.
@@richerDiLefto You should try being a Male in 2024. There are these Biological Male creeps who wear dresses and expect US to LIE & PRETEND they are Female LMFAO, you have no idea, you are whining about not smiling enough, Seriously? LOL! It must be nice to be able to Complain about not smiling enough, I don't have the time, I have things I have to do, responsibilities.
@@richerDiLefto Correct
I am 24 years old, am a loner,, and have not socially talked to a girl outside work place or family in 4 years.. Most would probably think it is sad but I have never been happier. I have lost 45 pounds, fully gave myself to god, got a career job, and get to travel and spend time with family peacefully. I encourage every guy to try to stop socializing with women and see how much peace comes into your life when you do.
Just started like 7 month’s ago😂 best decision of my miserable fu**ing life
I'm 50 years old, am a loner and never kissed a girl and never went on a date. I gave up on girls before I even tried, but I'm not gay either. I'm not happy, but I'm not sad either. I'm middling. I have gotten fat .. about 90lbs too fat, so I've decided recently that I'm just going to lose it, to make the rest of my life better.
At least I have a job and a purpose, but I don't talk to people outside of work, besides family occasionally and my housemate most of all. I've basically contracted my life more than most people and I spend a lot of time on media e.g. a lot of youtube and some video games.
Philosophically, I cope by accepting that a large percentage of men in the past didn't reproduce, even though all of my direct line of ancestors obviously did. I'm not taking myself out of the picture, regardless of what 'society' at large may or not may think, I don't care about their opinion.
@@whenpigsfly8178 Keep going, I feel you bro.
@@roygbiv6935 stay strong man....i believe in you live and be happy
@@whenpigsfly8178 god bless you man, i am on that same path...never really tried and do not plan onto....life is better when you mind is at ease and get you get to travel and explore the world
Steven Bartlett, I cannot tell you how much your podcasts benefit me in my life. 🎉I learn so much from you and everybody you interview. Thank you so much for doing this. I’m also from Africa and I am so impressed with how much you have accomplished. Keep going! ❤
Steven wants you to subscribe if you haven't. He pleads with you to subscribe.
Guys something important to take away from this that i haven’t seen anyone mention it, we dudes need to stick up for each other. If a little kid is telling you he’s being bullied, listen and help, if bro is isolating himself, go and get a beer with him, just once a week will make a difference, get involved in each others lives! Especially if your bro who you care about is suffering! One of the greatest ways to process your issues is by helping others with their issues!
I exist, and I must acknowledge that. A thousand men could tell me what they think of me, but that changes nothing about the fact that I am here. My strength is within me, and I know it's there by using it in this world. I prefer to be alone, and I enjoy my own company because I know I can rely on me.
Its the fact that its ALL about looks! Once people realize that they'll be at peace 🗿🗿🗿
It isn't stop watching TH-cam/reddit studies which are either straight up lies or blatant misrepresentation meant to get you rage baited
Nah. It really isn't.
Attaching Labels to people in general is a real problem. Everyone is guilty of this including myself but I try to be more self aware as I grow older. Its a sick Society.
lol I've been alone most my life, married, divorced, and lost the friends I did have, so ive had plenty of time to THINK about my life... It doesn't help me. The distractions help.
Are you from USA?
The thing is, you shouldnt think about yourself too much. That is the inherent cause of depression and anxiety - thinking of yourself and your situation too much.
He's truly connecting dots I never did, which is really powerful.
I'll second Kanojia's statement that fear gets turned into anger. This is an appropriate response when you're in a fight, as fear can be paralyzing whereas anger can energize. If you get physically bullied a lot as a child, it becomes habitual to turn fear into anger, but then as an adult, in situations where you are not facing physical violence but instead more abstract fears, it is maladaptive.
I can tell you from a fact, domestic violence in my house start with my wife being narcissist. What she say, the tone of voice, the loudness etc. I am expose daily to verbal attack and violence. Why I am still there : we come from 2 different country and I need to keep an eaye on our daughter.
Ohhh dear, how did you guys meet
Super insightful!
Always remember, no matter how much you idolize an influencer, celebrity, politician, preacher, etc, at some point in time, they have to take a fat and utterly nasty shit.
Extremely powerful video. I always love Dr. K's videos. This is a topic that NEEDS to be discussed. It's a serious issue. Everything Dr. K said is SPOT ON.
"Most men live in quiet desperation".
Because of this I ascribe towards Stoicism now; not amorality and indifference. I do my best to be self-aware and be composed, it is a constant struggle but once I've let go of things I "thought" were important such as being attended/loved, following other people's life views and being worried about social attachments beyond my child or friends. I know it's not good but while I still follow traditional values of respect/kindness, I couldn't care less about anything "romantic" or any of the sort anymore because I really see that type of companionship a fruitless endeavor due to feeling alienated towards women. I have had many romantic relationships and most of them only gave me trauma and pain so I think I'm just fed up and tired that I am now addicted to being "single" lol. I feel very satisfied right now with just meditation, having a few good friends and my little girl in my life.
As someone who recently was introduced to Vipassana it feels like a valid solution to what he is saying. Or just meditation in general. To the men (and women) struggling out there I suggest taking the time to just sit and notice what you're mind and body are telling you.
Will listen to the whole podcast later to hear his other thoughts.
Meditation is good, but insufficient for the healing of trauma. For the latter, you need a healing modality that permits the expression of strong emotions. Meditation can actually suppress emotions.
@@powerandpresence5290 Absolute nonsense. Meditation is literally allowing old traumas to bubble up (or really, the first few days of a retreat deliberately kick up the dust) so you can fully experience and therefore complete the trauma.
Meditation done properly allows deep emotions and feelings to arise naturally and be felt in totality. Echoing the other commenter that you’re speaking nonsense..
@@maxIehner I note that your meditation didn’t teach you non-judgment, nor to sit mindfully with those across the table from you.
Various meditation and mindfulness practices do not explore emotionality. In my experience, this is the norm, not the exception.
I have worked with both meditation and emotional healing groups alike. Meditation can often block feelings when practiced without emotional awareness. Unless the teaching explores that side, and permits it, emotional healing is unlikely. It’s one of the reasons why mindfulness practices can lead to increased depression and anxiety, which is shown to be true in around 10% of cases.
I understand what you are saying and I don't have serious trauma so I can't comment as to how Vipassana works with people who do have them.
I do know for me that it has helped calm my anxiety, reduce my monkey mind, and increase overall happiness. I think it has the potential to help many but will just assume that you are right about trauma.
With the current state of women, Being invisible is a positive attribute for men.
But why? Why should you be invisible? Why because of women?
Lol! Be invisible for the rest of your life then... 😂
@@salsalee4322 Thank's, I will keep my time and money to myself. Have fun leaching off other people 🤣.. some of us have more self-respect.
@@global1007 Because there is literally NOTHING more dehumanizing for men to do, with the hope of having a good time, than dating AVERAGE women as an AVERAGE man. Literal nothing more dehumanizing. Its not even close, either.
@@suntzu6122 Ok. I call this a problem in the additude. All I can say is that being gloomy and doomy is not a crime, but for yourself and your mental health it is more than deathly.
Anger is normal but resolving conflicts is important 😊
ive seen this guy several times. imo his awareness, intelligence and ability to articulate these things is just off the charts. i hope many people take time to listen to what he has to say. they will be much better off for it.
If you're new to Dr. K I suggest you take a look at his TH-cam channel: HealthyGamerGG
You'll love his content
For me the biggest blow in life was knowing that deep love does not exist, its all attraction and being beautiful that counts. Love does not happen to less attractive people ever, specially if you're a man... and that i just consumed lies in every media outlet (i dont watch movies anymore, gave tv to my parents etc) i want to be closest as possible to the truth and thats blackpill.
My anger primarily stems from a sense of pride rather than insecurity. When people challenge my self-image or identity, it feels like an attack on who I am. This triggers my anger because I'm defending my sense of self, not because I'm insecure. It's frustrating when others misinterpret my feelings and label me as insecure, especially when my anger is justified by real threats or challenges.
You just described insecurity
@@Nopadopethis is true I relate to him and you are right people talking shit can cause insecurity especially when your just tryna mind your own business.
I do think society has made it difficult for men to express their emotions and therefore they are left with only anger. I also agree with the introspection thing, but they are not the only ones being told not to feel anger or the only ones who get demonized for having certain thoughts or feelings. Women also get told what it means to be a woman and proper ladies aren’t angry or violet but meek and submissive. As humans we all need to do better and let each other feel our feelings and give ourselves space to figure them out.
Yeah nope. Men are not at all allowed to be angry, women are encouraged to. This is all lies told by the tellers. And you believe it.
@@jackdeniston59Could you elaborate on that? Why does it happen and what exactly do you mean by that?
True
Why do you care what other people think about you? They have no clue and their opinions have no value
You hear a 15 minute video about a uniquely male problem and male suffering and the first thing you do is come and comment that "also women"? You are part of the problem.
All the issues are coming from caring about opinions of others and comparing yourself to others. If you stop all that then you don't need much and can be simply happy
Incredibly wise
On some level we all care what others think about us. To pretend otherwise is cope (unless you're some hermit living in the woods alone ig). We're social creatures whether you admit it or not
In regards to *domestic violence* being "mostly men" I've come across something interesting several years back, which is some historical curves from the USA. If correct, then in the past it probably was male > female. But the male side of the equation has been dropping alot over the last several decades, while the female one has gone sideways to sligthly rising. At some point in the early 2000s the curves crossed and since then it's female > male.
This is so true, I remember back from about 2001-2005 I was much happier. That was ages 17-21 for me. This was a time before social media was so prominent. I remember I used to spend 6 hours in my day walking to the mall...I'd have my earphones in listening to music, walk around talk to people, buy some food in the food court and then buy an anime DVD or whatever and then take it home and watch it. Never looking at the internet even one time...until I sat down at the computer for about an hour before bed to check up on my messages in MSN messenger or Myspace. So the Internet would only occupy my mind for about an hour everyday. Now it's so easy to access that it's almost a sickness or addiction that distracts us from the bad feelings that come along with growth and being with ourselves internally. It's not good...we're losing too much touch with our own strength and sense of self, that's why men behave less masculine these days.
Wow. 6 hours. That is a long time, but good workout. I would have invested in a bike if I had been you. Those years were relatively peaceful, the early 2000s. I remember I was able to walk alone in the mall being 13 to 14 years old and not have any problems with anybody, window shopping and just reading books in the bookstore or browsing the video game store or eating in food court while my parents shopped.
Yes, introspection works, and the first time you need to do is: Agree with yourself to treat yourself fairly. Don't let society persuade you to be harder on yourself than others, to love everyone except yourself. That would be unjust, and you must never be unjust to anyone, yourself included.
This is why we need good enough fathers
They're too busy abandoning their children and blaming women.
I have to disagree, maybe they have abandoned a bad relationship with the mother but most good men are willing to continue a supportive relationship with their children.@@peachesandpoets
I was raised by a single father and still ended up being one of these struggling men. Try again.
Yeah where is the evidence simp ? The government is against us man when it comes to child custody, shelter services, medical, uh women have it so easy that many are allowed to abort a child.sadly.
@@mathius_dragoon532 @14:25 listen to the last section of this video. I was a single father for about sixteen years until my son left to live with his girlfriend, now wife.He struggles sometimes. I struggle too, but as they said in the last section of the video, work on yourself.
Try to connect and get rejected sounds like what ive been through. People don't want to connect anymore outside of just the normal small talk when you see them at work or church so sad.
You don’t need friends, It’s all just you anyway, Everyone is programmed to think they need someone or something outside of themselves, It’s all just you anyway, Everyone is programmed to say “it’s unhealthy to not have a social life” Which is B.S, When people say that you hear it and you start to believe it and it becomes true for you, Once you get these “friends” they most likely are unconscious and apart of the matrix and you are then further trained to “hustle” “grind” “video games are for losers” “When you going to get married” All programmed B.S until you old in sitting in hospice and realized none of it mattered, Only thing that mattered is what you enjoyed to do and how you treated others (they are you) nothing outside of yourself (ego convinced you to think you are separate) made you experience joy, You will NEVER find happiness outside yourself, If you want friends so be it but you don’t need them………Everything you need you already have.
Theres nothing wrong with video games. I'm 30 and still play them alot. I have a girlfriend, were moving in, we have cats and I pay all my own Bill's.
3:34 “The world will ask who you are, and if you do not know, the world will tell you.” ― Carl Jung
The next frontier is masculinity is to embrace the feminine, IMO. And the best part is, you don’t have to paint your nails and walk around in leopard print leggings. I do yoga, drink green smoothies, go to therapy, journal, practice talking about my feelings, have a skin care routine, and dress quasi-fashionably. All of these could be considered feminine, but even doing all of them doesn’t make me appear feminine to others, it’s more hidden. As an added bonus, it helps me empathize with women, getting a little taste of the work they put themselves thru to be pretty. As another added bonus, it allows me to access feminine energy in my life, even if I don’t have a woman in it. That in turn keeps me from getting too desperate and clingy when it comes to attention from women. A life devoid of femininity, just masculine posturing and problem solving, is incomplete.
In my experience its not accepted to feel anger and fight back if bullied.
My classmates, teachers and parents shamed and guildtripped me for it, so I draw the only logical conclusion and numbed myself entirely.
By now I know I shouldve should improved myself but as a kid it didnt work
Still struggling to get back in touch w my emotions but I have no Idea how to
("Usual tips" like do things that yk you loved or try new things dont work, I even confronted almost every single fear I have/had but still I dont feel more then helplesness/lonliness or really rare anger, if something at all)
At 11:50 my mind processes it diferently. Sadness, fear etc get turned into sadness/helplesness cause I know I cant change it (if I see a way I can I try to do it by now)
10:05 "Most domestic violin comes from men".
This is only true if we exclude female form of aggression. Yelling, passive-aggressive abuse, emotional blackmail, implying things to raise shame in men, guilt tripping, etc.
I have thought about this, how the only measured form of domestic violence is physical when most of it seems to be emotional/verbal. If this was measured too I would guess we should see a lot of women abusing men since there are many whipped men out there.
@@snoowbrigade exactly. And think about it for a moment. When you hear women talk about how they need to "instruct" their men not to do stupid things followed by a laugh, or when they are just degrading men's behavior in general it all shows how toxic many women can be.
Just googles the yelling thing, both answers blame men as well.
I am all for men being a community together and helping support each other and lift each other up, it's a shame that we're not taught to be there for each other in society, can I started working in behavioral health recently and I really want to make a difference.
Suppressing my anger was a huge mistake I made for years. Like said here, I was told by many (including therapists) that I had to process my anger and was only allowed to show sadness. Doing that broke me down. Now I have a better relationship with anger and understand its importance in the balance of my emotions.
I think we have been lied to as to how Darwinian the dating world is, and in this society, men are just needed less and less by women, and to to birth control and contrapection, women can sleep with men with less risk of getting pregnant. Women are also now graduating more than men and are just as successful in the workplace.
agree so much, and men need to be needed and appreciated, and have something to work for...
The real question should then not be looked at then, as to what Men's roles ought to be. If the system can so endlessly provide for and leverage Vv0m3n when they don't actually do any real productive work and just glide free on the system, then why are Men being denied this by the system then if it's obvious that it can yet be provided for everyone!? Think about it.
People who can't laid have such twisted ideas about how the "dating world" works.
They are graduating more but ending up mostly in useless middle management jobs that exist to fill quotas. Society is slowly crumbling in its fervent pursuit of equity.
Study the trades then engineering or sciences.
Never heard of this guy before, but I'm impressed. He is spot on with the constant distraction hindering us to process not only the outside information probably, I would ad, but also ourselves. We loose ourselves because we search at the wrong place.
The biggest problem IMO is that you're no longer guaranteed to get the rewards even if you put in the work and get the results. You can hit the gym and get a head turning physique, go out and socialize until your social skills are on point, and build yourself up until you have world class confidence, but none of that means that you'll get the expected rewards of doing better with women, having more career opportunities, or seeing an improvement in networking.
When it's possible to put in the work and get the results, but be denied the rewards, it creates a very dangerous world.
If you have a career, make lots of money, socialize with a circle of friends, and hit the gym to stay fit and attractive -- all traits of a so-called top guy --, you'll then have "too little time for her" or be "too self-centered". A man today can't do right anymore. He simply can't.
This is true. I did everything by the book and was on top of the world but never been more miserable in life.
It's crazy that a person so on point as you described is unable to find an opportunity if he doesn't create one in the first place.
This video is chronically underrated
lifting weights is very rewarding, listen to music watch new movies/shows, be creative I love cooking and go for walks in nature.
What's so scary about this is that it's never going to get better. I hope it does though.
Only worse probably.
I think you're right.
Eh. Look at it this way... 20-30 years ago we wouldn't even be having this conversation. This video wouldn't even exist. You try to talk about this and everyone would either tell you to "man up" or call you gay (nothing wrong with it, if anyone is, mind you)
Its slow progress but it's something
This might sound silly, but I believe we are born with instincts , right. And we have domesticated each other too much.
We need our instincts . For instance ,our Gut feeling. It's real! We are wired internally with that gut feeling .
(I'm just using that as an example).
Absolutely, thats not just instinct, it's intuition - a divine guide.
"I try to belong to a group and that group usually will thwart my attempts to join the community". Dr. K, that's exactly what happened to me on your Discord community a few months ago. I've tried to tell you but no one has been listening to me!
I have been on this Earth over twice as long as this “Doctor” has been alive. I am a GOOD man because of my Mother AND my Father. It is just that simple. THESE TWO people set you up for life. A good extended family, I had 13 Aunts, and zero Uncles, with my awesome Grandma. THESE people made me who I am, a good man. I have been married for 30 years, 2 great kids, 2 great Grand Kids.
All the answers you will ever need, are located in that mirror you look at every morning. MJ was right, if you don't like what you see, make a change. First rule, be yourself, do what's right, Be kind, Treat others like you want others to treat you, and you will be just fine.
OMG. not being able to be angry. 100% true.
So I google "my wife is yelling at me what should i do?" this is what came up.
"If your wife is yelling at you, take a moment and listen. Take her seriously and try to respond to what she is saying as if she is not yelling at you. Doing so can de-escalate the conversation. Remember that you are not accepting the yelling as healthy by responding this way."
Then I googled "my husband is yelling at me what should I do?" this is what came up.
"Stay calm, set boundaries, suggest speaking later when emotions have cooled, and disengage if yelling starts. Make clear you won't accept shouting. Encourage counselling to learn coping mechanisms and communication skills. Don't react or yell back."
lol tells you all you need to know. Women are never held accountable.
Love yall
I found peace of mind in philosophy and the works of Jung.
I learned to look inward and detach from the external world.
I deleted my Instagram and said a big “screw it” to everything.
Believe me, it’s very beneficial to internalize your attention and “meditate”… And it doesn’t have to be in the conventional sense of the word.
Try working out without headphones and spend an hour talking to yourself. I guarantee you’ll find some answers.
4:45 I tried to get sympathy from someone I was dating when I was worried about starting a new career to make more money to support a family. I was told I shouldn't worry because I am a white man and that makes it easier to get accepted to schools and get hired. Everyone's life is difficult in different ways, it doesn't matter what your background is.