That moment you realize this amazing speech is broken down into 10ish minute videos so it's easier for ADHD people to watch! They know their audience!! Thank you!
I didn't even think of it I seen 10 minutes and was like sure I'll watch that realised there is more then 1 video and I feel okay with it. But if I came across this and it was a 1hour 30 minute long speech I would have noped the fuck out of there.
@@thecryptosanctum7973 the amount of 90 minute ADHD lectures that I've added to watch later or another Playlist I never look at, is more than I wanna think about
"Friends forgive you your distractibility, your forgetfulness, your working memory problems and even your restlessness. They will not forgive your anger, your hostility, the quickness with which you emote to other people, because it is offensive" fuck, never has anyone put into words something I have struggled with for so long. I have portrayed myself as a clutz, at times childish or stupid just so I could hide my frustration, my anger. thank you for this
ahdd self: *stares languidly at Dr. Russell, listlessly in inner tumult over the truth of his words, but the dual truth that the world is, at the same time, too slow, to tepid, to indirect, hampered, exhausting, un-difficult, and yet too constant to be content at all with.*
Yupp. Made me cry. Never I have heard anybody put this thing into words like this. It's normal emotions but I can't control them and I'm so tired of being judged for showing them.
Vivid Kothari i was screaming hallelujah and I am not religious but he was goving a sermon up there. I feel so much more empowered to help my lil one. Now the tears.
Vivid Kothari because it resonates in your spirit in your soul. I am there too. While I lived at home I was fine because my mom and sister kept the house organized. I was responsible for some chores and I did fine. Once I was married in my own house with my own family it’s been a nightmare. I have been so hard on myself I fell into a depression. Years later By chance a friend recommended a dr for weight management. The med he gave me I noticed what I thought I did. It was unbelievable! I could accomplish so much in a day! The dr said it also helps for ADD patients. I could not believe my ears. I researched it on my own and realized I’ve always had ADD except as he says here I kept Inwardly the emotional behavior.
The worst part about adult ADHD is the shame. Everyone thinks you are actively deciding to not be "here". It takes an effort that leaves me exhausted to be present and mediate a 3.5 hour meeting. At the end of it, I feel like a truck hit me. The next day when I still haven't recovered, the problems start. Marshalling my abilities becomes challenging at best. Then procrastination rears its ugly head. Then avoiding certain tasks and responsibilities starts to snowball. I'm blessed to say I have the faculties to right the ship and correct my direction before dire consequences occur. But, many with ADHD do not have this ability, and they suffer greatly. Greatly.
i lost this year to this downward spiral... i'm treating depression (originated from an unchecked ADHD) i grew up with my issues being met with frustration and annoyance, so I bottle up i want to do things... i want to live i'm tired of just surviving :(
I agree going to work and school and leaving on time but always ending up being late I feel shame like im just one big disappointment my whole life and when I try to explain alot of people say try and I say I'm trying 100%. They'd ask then why are you late. At that point I give up and say I don't know anymore I leave on time or have the intention to finally today im gonna be on time to work and then still clock in 3 to 5 minutes after. I'm now 25 just got rediagnosed last year
This was such a fantastic speech, thank you so much for sharing your knowledge. I was diagnosed with ADD and my brother with ADHD and ODD. Everything you said hit home. I was more restless than hyperactive as a kid but emotionally I've always been all over the map, unable to build and sustain friendships, always feeling like an outsider, jumping from romantic relationship to romantic relationship. I hope the trouble with emotional inhibition makes it into the DSM V. I wish I'd had this information when I was diagnosed, and I hope others will.
+How to ADHD I wish I knew about this sooner, too. I am only now starting to realize that maybe, just maybe, I am not screwed up and that there is something wrong with me. I can very much relate to your symptoms. Thank you for sharing.
A photo of this noble man might be more worthy then the whole DSM at all... Also I can imagine the opposing forces he might have to deal with, while going against the selfclaimed experts...
I don't know what to say. I'm crying because finally someone puts into words how I have been feeling for most of my adult life, and especially now that I am over 30. Thank you, sir. I need to show this video to my psychiatrist so she can finally believe me.
I so can relate to this comment. I am too afraid to take the pills though, so am trying mindfulness. I really would love to find an organization system though, it is the one thing I cannot seem to manage properly. I have so many different systems that I miss half of my appointments because they are written in different journals, apps, etc. I am all over the place :(
Irsida, as the doctor states, though I don't know if he says so in this video or not, a person with ADHD cannot use a system of organization because ADHD is a disorder of the executive functions. If an organization system could work, then you wouldn't have ADHD. For me, the only thing that works is having somebody lead me by the hand and keep me on task every moment of the day, or the medication. My girlfriend very much dislikes me on the medication, because she's against psychotropic drugs in general, as am I, but when I don't take my meds she is mindful to keep me on track. Earlier we went to walmart and she didn't let me get lost in the isles for hours when we went in for a short list of very specific things. All the best to you. Ramadan, I hear good things about dexamph, but I also hear doctors don't like to see you've ever been prescribed it because they feel if you're coming to them for it that means you're a drug abuser. The problem is many doctors are unfamiliar with how to treat ADHD,especially in adults, and are unsure of how to proceed while helping their patient and not opening themselves up to legal liability from patients which mean to abuse their practice of medicine. Best of luck to you. I've been doing really bad at school recently because my doctor seems inexperienced in treating ADHD and I'm thinking about asking for a referral to a psychiatrist. I just moved to an apartment within walking distance of the ADHD specialist in my area, so I'm hoping I can become a patient there in the long term.
Thank you for all the comments everyone, I appreciate you sharing your views and try to help me out. Michael, I will share your comment with my bf so he understands me more and maybe finally realizes that I need his help, I can't do it all alone. I keep on getting in trouble in my relationship because of my inability to change my behaviour. I keep on making the same mistakes (overbuying groceries or getting lost in supermarkets is one of them), so I really want to find a solution.
Yeah, you really need him in the supermarket with you making sure that you just go in to get what you need and don't get lost in the glamour of all the options and possibilities. I find that when I go shopping with my girlfriend, though this is worse in the supermarket because there are 20 options of the same item, her ability to keep on task really stresses me out after a while (maybe 30 min). She's really nice about how she does it, but I apparently find it really stressing to adhere to concerted sequence of tasks. Make sure your boyfriend is braced for the possibility that you get irritable by the end of shopping.
Me too.. I still am rejected socially at school. I constantly feel lonely and like an outcast. I always think my friends right now will be better off without me because i will eventually mess it up somehow.
People get annoyed with the random talking episodes and excitement.I got to the point where I would get my phone out and set the stopwatch setting and tell acquaintances I got 10 minutes before my mind wonders. Sum up what you were going to tell me.
I felt that in my soul..I HAVE to stay busy or I get bored very easily n then get highly frustrated n irritable cuz this NEED to do stuff overshadows everything
That hit home for me. Especially since I graduated university and have been staying home until I find a job. I always feel like I need to be doing something, but I end up wasting my time and it feels terrible.
Adding to that feeling is another feeling of being so overwhelmed that I cannot decide which of those 1000 things I want to do, so I end up doing nothing.
I'm at my desk at work and literally tearing up because of how accurately this describes so much of my life. Sometimes I can't believe I made it through childhood.
I have lived my life never understanding what was wrong with me, I am so grateful to hear someone say aloud all the things I’ve lived with are explainable, It give me a sense of being ok
I'm so glad I discovered this channel. I'm 72, and am for the first time seeking medication. My life has been a wild ride. I've had brilliant successes, miserable failures.... and now, retired, I've little motivation, focus, drive, yet I want to get everything started and done. I've been told multiple times that I'm a brilliant musician. I've all the tools to get out there, put on a great performance, work regularly. Yet, I've zero executive functions to get things going, make it happen... It's like I'm watching my life waste away. It's a Herculean effort, just to hook up with the right professionals, to simply get the meds, fear is my pervasive emotion, freezing me in place.
That's how I am now. Trapped in an invisible cage, falling and failing with responsibilities weighing me down. I've been searching for something to help me out with no success. Maybe these videos will shed a little light on my situation.
An excellent speech, and what he said about friendship actually made me cry. I felt so understood. I wasn't diagnosed with ADD until I was 28, probably because I always did well academically and I am a female without the "typical" hyperactivity. But what this fantastic speech really brings home is what has always been the heartbreaking problem I've faced all my life: the problems with emotional regulation, and (more so) other people's negative reactions to it.
When my son's counsellor told us she saw markers for ADHD, I thought no freakin way, he's not a bounce off the walls kid, because that's all I knew about ADHD. Now that I've been researching about it, I see more and more of him. I see myself, yet I've never been diagnosed as ADHD. He has always been hypersensitive. He's always been super compassionate, but he struggles SO MUCH with Emotional Self-Regulation, despite me trying for years to help him with it. This doctor has helped me realize that it's NOT my parenting that's causing the issues. Thank you.
How bout you take your kid to someone whose actually licensed to diagnose ADHD, before playing armchair psychologist. He needs a neuropsychological evaluation, which are only done by clinical psychologist. Depending on age, you'll need to seek out a pediatric psychologist, so your kid's normal neurological child development isn't misunderstood and branded a "disease." Your behavior towards your child, causes a reaction. Expectations = disappointment. You have to learn to let go and accept your son for who he is, because you're actively showing him rejection, lack of acknowledgement & willingness to understand, and this greatly effects self-esteem. Caretakers get burned out. It's important to recognize the symptoms and get the respite and counseling you need, because it causing compassion fatigue. Pretty much every doctor since the pandemic, is right there, and because of it, they're not believing people who have cancer and autoimmune disease and actually yell at their patients who are deathly sick and have waited months to see them due to long wait lists. As a caretaker for a loved one who battled Alzheimer's, trust, I understand caretaker burn out completely, and it's made me better able to see it in others. Had this been a diagnosis when I was growing up, my Mom would've been able to get some respite and get the social and psychological help she needed, rather than turn to self-medicating, and thus missing out on the best years of motherhood screaming and berating her kids for doing absolutely nothing wrong. Untreated burn out is high risk for addiction.
All I wanna say is "Oh, my !", I'm 30 now and just know this yesterday. I was always a top students in class, but after starting work things started to become hard for me, even though I tried very hard. The thing is I know how to do it and I have a scheme in my head about how it would work out, but it is so damn hard for me to do it, whatever job I was given if you give me a deadline, I will not do it until deadline. It's so frustrating because I believe I am good and I should do good, people who are not knowing enough can do better than me. It's so depressing and my self esteem goes lower and lower. If I'm not into a thing, I can't even stay focus for even 5 mins and always end up doing lots of other things. I thought It's because I was lazy, but I can get up before 6 and run every other day, how can someone who does this be lazy? I feel like I am doing things so hard, it turns out, I am just trying so hard to stay focus and start doing. Six years of working, I've changed five jobs, because after doing for a while I just don't feel like doing it anymore, or because of the impulsive emotions that I later regreted, so I'd rather go away from people who I had problems with. I don't know what's wrong with me and believed it was my depression. Now I realise it's more of a ADHD problem. Tears in my eyes when I learned about this yesterday. But I still feel my life is fucked up and I may be alone forever.
It's gonna be okay listen and learn all you can about the condition we both have make a plan ..set ..timers..set reminders find a peer group ..and keep on living my friend.
I just read your comment and it happened to me almost the same that happened to you. I excelled in elementary to middle school. High school was a little bit harder but it was ok. College? I dropped it, even after changin majors like three times. Everything was too much, too long and I've never could do something that I didn't considered mediocre. Same things happened with deadlines. And the same things happened with relationships. I just found an ADHD forum and when I started to read, I was gobsmacked by it. Another user sent me this link and now I'm finding so many people with the same symptoms and the same experiences it makes me wanna cry,
On my second run to watch the video and I understand things better now. on the fourth run I will get it at 100%. The info is very dense. Dr. Barkley is eloquent, intelligent and Charismatic.
@@walid7885 Russell Barkley says once a person is diagnosed with ADHD there is no reason for them not to be taking Adderall or Ritalin. He can say what he wants, but the only people who should be involved in this decision are the parents and physician, and, if the child is old enough, them.
@@alanberkeley7282 That is his own opinion and he made a rationale for it. You can disagree of course. There is no need to call him names. His idea is that it's all about lack of inhibition. A different perspective of the old paradigm. I have a nephew with the same problem. And I see his point. It applies to my nephew's situation. But evidently we can't generalize.
@@walid7885 What if the person diagnosed has heart conditions? Or blood pressure issues? What if they don't need Adderall or Ritalin? What if they can get buy without? What if it does nothing for them? What if the diagnosis is wrong? What if they don't actually have it and are faking it to get hold of the drugs to pass exams or sell for profit or to get high? There are too many variables for them to make such sweeping statements like that which I find extremely irresponsible and quite dangerous.
I was just diagnosed with severe inattentive ADD ... although I've always known and also have been on medicine for 10 yrs. EVERYTHING YOU SAID WAS ME :'( I am crying writing this, because now at 36 it has gotten a lot worse over the yrs. my depression comes after my anxiety which is really severe also ... all I think about is time ... never having enough of it ... having now a child whom also has my ADD and also having a 9 month old and about to finish my associates and on my way to a bachelors in Social Work ... it's like when I try more, I fail worse ... I feel like a failure everyday :'(
Callie Parker as someone who thinks about time A LOT - I can say your comment almost brought me to tears... I’m often thinking of how I’m wasting it, how there’s too little of it, how to use it - I want to do everything and nothing at the same time - and in the end - just feel exhausted
You're not alone lovely & my heart goes out to you. i am over 60yo & hardly have any future left but you're still young & strong in body & spirit. I hope your future will be helped by some kind Doctor with a groundbreaking therapy. Look up U.K Professor Nunn or Mind Medicine Australia. One day we may be able to find a doorway out of this horrible maze x wishing you hope. Usually i am a swearing crazy Banshee doing a Raging Bull impersonation haha) From Oz :)
Brilliant! My husband shows the emotion side all the time and I see it in my son who’s been diagnosed with ADHD. So glad that the emotion side is part of it, it explains so much.
Maybe if I stayed medicated throughout my young adult life I wouldn't have ruined so many perfectly good relationships for myself. I struggled for several years trying to keep a steady job and it burned just about every bridge in my life. Completely ruined my entire reputation because of things I cannot control about myself. And being told that I was such an asshole, a loser, and I wouldn't ever amount to anything. after a while I just began to believe all those things about myself and just gave up trying for a very long time.
This is where I’m at. I can’t wait to get my diagnosis so that I can be medicated and start living more normally. But still I can’t I burn those bridges or go back to those jobs 😔
I had never heard of Oppositional Defiant Disorder, but now looking it up, I experienced almost ALL of those symptoms as a child. I feel like this explains so much about the behaviors I displayed then.
I heard this video about a year ago and it really did change my life. What he said about emotional self-regulation, and classmates peer bonding in the second grade made a lot of sense to me. It distinctly did happen to me, but in the third grade, because I'm a July baby and I didn't turn seven until the summer between 2nd and 3rd grade. I was always the youngest person in my class all the way up to senior year of high school. And it really did happen just like he said! All my classmates were becoming friends around me and left me out. I never understood why until now. "Your classmates will forgive you your impulsivity, your distractibility, your forgetfulness, your poor working memory, but they will never forgive your emotional volatility because it is offensive!" 58 years later and I finally get it!
It is a total pleasure to listen to a Doctor who finally makes sense. Common sense in the real meaning of theterm. In Ireland today as in probably many countries parents are fed a total load of nonsense about ADHD, impulsivity and anger. So many parents are told that their ADHD child who acts out their agression
Thank you sir for this amazing presentation i was crying from time to time when i was listening to his speech. As i read just the first few comments, i can not stop crying. So many years suffering. (today is no exception, actually today is another full-on "can not concentrate to save my life and my work" day) hope others have an easier day, and for that matter, an easier life (i am sure it is not easy, as you would not be watching this video, if things were easy for you)
Recently diagnosed, I had read his books on adults and ADHD recommended to me by my psychiatrist, but had no clue he was so compassionate. Not only in the approach to ADHD, symptoms and the effect it has on those who suffer it, but also in the respect he presents to those trying to understand it. I have been raised by university professors and been in academia all my life, and I have seen all the spectrum of academic behavior, from the pedantic ivory tower gatekeepr to the down to earth approachable genius, and everything in between. This brilliant mind is part of the latter, and he is making the world a better place. Thank you, Dr Barkley.
For now , the GOAT. I don't ever find someone saying it so clearly. I just hate ppl retelling all this romantic stuff " You are special or that Einstein also had ADHD, or being naturally creative" . Thanks for brushing off the dust and mould on the topic.
Russel Barkley is tops with me. I started rejecting friends before they rejected me by the time I was in 2nd grade. I had friends in school but not out of school. I was disciplined, ridiculed and humiliated and my mother before she died told my sister she regretted the way she treated me. I poured my heart out to her once and she told me I was unlovable. R. Barkley focuses on treatment but what about the abuse ADHD/ADD people suffer.
the relational issues are also spoken about overly simplistically in this video. it's not always being too quick to anger. for some people with ADHD, anger was never the issue - it was missing cues from peers and therefore not fitting into their norms.
for me it wasn’t regulating the negative emotions but the positive ones that cost me friendships. i was always too peppy and enthusiastic, and the other kids didn’t like that. especially when i wouldn’t shut up about my hyperfixation of the week. we really aren’t normal people lol
@5:35 "You can not be impulsive in your behaviour and not be impulsive in your emotions. That is impossible because they are a unity. They go together. Emotion is welded in everything you say and do." Yes, regular folks/non pyschs know this, its almost common sense based off of what we see. Its sad pyschs and the pysch boards did not.
I got diagnosed with adhd when I was in second grade and I'm 25 now and I have never felt like someone has described it as well as this guy describes it
That was amazing. I have listened to you in tears. Belive me, you make a huge difference in other people's lives. I appreciate this. Lots of love from Turkey.
This man has changed my life. He made my husband aware that I may have been suffering with ADHD for 43 years….and he was right! I was finally assessed and diagnosed last year. I am working in consultation with a psychiatrist who is treating me with medication. Thanks to this man I don’t feel like a freak! I feel he sees and respects the diversity and the challenges we go through. Thank you sir, you changed my life for the better 🌸
I am hearing about ODD for the first time right now at 48, I look it up and it describes me 110%. Even to this day I cannot stand any rules, I despise all forms of authority even if it comes from myself. It's so severe at times that I hate myself for making myself have to do something.
This guy makes me want to cry. He is so understanding, so passionate for the people with ADHD, and wants not only those people but everyone else to understand this. I have recently realized that I have ADHD and have for a very long time now. I am now on a journey to learn about it, and hopefully get into my doctor for some help with it.
I'm currently still on a waiting list to be seen by a specialist, but my therapist and basically everyone I know agree that there's a high likeliness I have the HI variety. This not being able to hide your raw emotions and thus missing out on connecting with others explains SO MUCH about my childhood.
It feels like I'll never have any friends because there are so many social barriers to what is "allowed" emotionally and being honest/impulsive with my emotions is not acceptable.
I just got diagnosed with ADHD, I have lived with it untreated for 18 years. This man is saying everything that I’ve felt but didn’t know how to express. The sad part is that I am enlisted in the U.S Army and they aren’t too accepting of this disorder. I won’t be able to start taking meds until after boot camp and A.I.T. But knowing that someone finally understands everything me and many people like me are feeling is refreshing. It needs to be brought to the attention of the Armed Forces, teachers, parents that this isn’t just a child choosing to be this way, they are forced to be this way. There is better options then just telling kids to deal with it or to “act right” as I’ve been told. I’m glad more research is being done on this subject and it’s being brought to light.
The way you describe ADHD fits my son to a t. Thank you for putting it in words that makes sense to me. I struggle every day trying to relate to my boy.
I can't believe after 33 years old of my life, I've finally have someone understand what is happening inside my brain. I remember when I was in grade 8, I had one of my more embarrassing violent moments. A girl, who I think liked me was making a joke about me and a friend of mine being gay for each other and I immediately started punching her. Since, I've never hit another person (man or woman). I've always struggled with emotional regulation, but I always thought that was because my parents were distant and emotionally absent from me when I was a child - this probably didn't help though. This man is literally like an angel sent from the cosmos to talk directly to ADHD people and let them know they are not unwanted nor are their voices silent.
This doctor is 100% accurate, and I say this as an adult woman who was diagnosed in 1985. Grew out of the physical hyperactivity and it went so far inside of me it turned into an anxiety disorder.
You know. You can do something about it now. I know that it doesn’t make it easier, as there are so many things that could have gone differently (I speak from experience). Maybe it would be good to see if you could spend time educating others about this? Maybe a class offered for free at a library? Maybe you could talk to some teachers? I’m currently trying to offer a, “ask me anything about ADHD” for teachers. I’d like for it to help them understand their students and provide them hope. This may not change what happen between you and your parents, but it could prevent other people from going through the same pain?
i have to say it here. i feel everything described, and my brain was thinking on the side ''could this become a new passion to focus on!'' ive been into research and help videos about adhd for about 2 weeks now. when you were talking about parents attending to help their children, it boosted that feeling, that somehow i need to know more about it.
I feel almost ignorant trying to let family know every bone they have to pick with has always been a trait of my adhd..my executive function. Moving in with my dad at 25 has been isolating. He will give me lecture about forgetting to wash the pan and that I show no progress to him as an adult. I feel hurt. He will never understand I’m trying harder at life than neurotypical to be seen and respected as the neurotypical person when im not. I am being told I am insane for being late to things and not fixing it. That I’m lazy. It hurts to been looked down upon. I’m doing good managing! I am looking to get my own place this summer. I will prove to myself I can still do ok with adhd
Started watching this from a tiktok. I had 2 kids on the spectrum, both with ADHD. Currently struggling with the orders, who just started middle school. The ODD part is a revelation for us. It explains SO much of what has been happening.
I was diagnosed at 60 years of age. Medication helps me stay away from other drugs I had been using to cope with life, but the emotional stuff that has plagued me all my life is still an enigma to me. He described me to a T. I wonder, though, how I can recover, considering my abusing drugs beginning at the age of 14. Have I damaged my brain even more? I've been clean for over 30 years now, but I do wonder.
Very well said. My son is in the process of being diagnosed with either ADD or ODD or both and he’s 20!. I’ve suspected all along there was something more to my son than a learning disability. It really describes his behaviour to a T. This man knows his stuff. What I didn’t know was that ADD can lead to ODD.
I hope your beloved son has gotten his diagnosis determined and I hope he is receiving the best treatment possible. I wish and I pray the best for him, and achieve great success in all aspects of life, as well as for you being a caring and compassionate mother to your child.
He has just described me perfectly. Great man. Thank you Dr R B. I was diagnosed at 57 years of age at the Maudsley hospital London. It's been very difficult to live with. I'm also a recovered Alcoholic (25 years sober) 👍🇬🇧
Thank you for this. I can understand now. Maybe if I start working on myself…. I could meet an understanding person. Someone calm. Someone nice. Someone patient. Someone loving. I’m going to be working on being all those things myself. Thanks again.
finally age 36 and miracle cocktail so far is Strattera 25MG (on day 3) with Fluoexetine 40MG (have been on for months).. If this doesn't initiate motor drive I know desipramine works, and will get it.
I'm so grateful for these. Everything is right on. ❤️ I'm in the process of getting a diagnosis for myself and my children. Listening to this makes me even MORE sure that this is it. This is the thing that messed me up my whole life and now my kids...
Dr Barkley is such an amazing man. What an inspiration. I have been following his work for many years since my children were diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia. The context in which he transmits information is not only relevant but profoundly informative. Thank you for your contributions Sir. From a dedicated mother across the pond in the UK who is continually perceived ‘too much’ for wanting to educate myself on how to best support my children’s needs and give them a fighting chance in a world that is unequivocally unprepared and unfit in relation to inclusion. ❤️🙏🏼
I actually didnt realise emotion wasnt considered part of it for me its a billion percent the hardest part as an undiagnosed 42 yr old mother with 5 kids 2/3 with undiagnosed adhd life has been hard and emotions have been a nonstop rollercoaster with no pause im so tired
Thank you for sharing all of these videos from this conference. My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6. People don’t really understand this disorder.
I’m not sure if I can see it as a disorder all though it comes with it’s challenges. I was diagnosed late 30’s and my kids also have ADHD. Yes, they don’t fit in perfectly in a formal school setting, but they bring colour into this world. Their creativity and ability to think outside the box is a well needed trait. They have heaps of friend, who fight over who gets to have a play date with them. I have learned to love my ADHD over the years. I see it as a difference in brain chemistry, but the creativity and hyper focus it brings can be amazing. I wouldn’t want to be a neurotypical to be honest.
I was never hyperactive as a child. My was called stupid all my life. I was told I wore my emotions on my sleeve. As an adult, I am trying to unlearn what I learned to get by. The emotion thing is what I'm struggling with. I have pretty much self isolated. I have maybe 2 friends at most now. I have never married or had children. The loneliness gets overwhelming but it is safer than rejection.
I don't have adhd, my daughter has and probably her father. It is important to understand adhd. We humans are all different gems right? Wish you good luck.
4:15 The part that's the most tough to deal with. The emotional regulation is the biggest struggle that hurts relationships, job prospects and yourself. 😢
Is this guy still doing seminars? He should be putting these on for actual people with adhd. I have watched hours of him now. And he understands us fully.
I must do all the things all the time. That is my inner self. I can not sit still because then I am unproductive, and if I am unproductive I am failing at the things. Thank you for seeing me 😭
That moment you realize this amazing speech is broken down into 10ish minute videos so it's easier for ADHD people to watch! They know their audience!! Thank you!
I loved this also. So I can come back as I see fit.
I didn't even think of it I seen 10 minutes and was like sure I'll watch that realised there is more then 1 video and I feel okay with it.
But if I came across this and it was a 1hour 30 minute long speech I would have noped the fuck out of there.
@@thecryptosanctum7973 nmmm
@Ms. Understood Did you do MBCT? How was it for you? If you don’t mind sharing
@@thecryptosanctum7973 the amount of 90 minute ADHD lectures that I've added to watch later or another Playlist I never look at, is more than I wanna think about
"Friends forgive you your distractibility, your forgetfulness, your working memory problems and even your restlessness. They will not forgive your anger, your hostility, the quickness with which you emote to other people, because it is offensive"
fuck, never has anyone put into words something I have struggled with for so long. I have portrayed myself as a clutz, at times childish or stupid just so I could hide my frustration, my anger.
thank you for this
Dr Russell: adhd makes you bad at emotional regulation
Adhd peeps: *burst into tears*
ahdd self: *stares languidly at Dr. Russell, listlessly in inner tumult over the truth of his words, but the dual truth that the world is, at the same time, too slow, to tepid, to indirect, hampered, exhausting, un-difficult, and yet too constant to be content at all with.*
why u gotta do me like this
called out
Yupp. Made me cry. Never I have heard anybody put this thing into words like this. It's normal emotions but I can't control them and I'm so tired of being judged for showing them.
Sobbed like my heart was breaking. Because it was.
why does he speak that way that it becomes hard to listen without crying! His every word sounds genuine, spoken with intensity/
Vivid Kothari i was screaming hallelujah and I am not religious but he was goving a sermon up there. I feel so much more empowered to help my lil one. Now the tears.
Vivid Kothari ,his brother died do to impulsivity!
Because he is an amazing scientist and passionate and compassionate. A true teacher! I am a neuroscientist and am in awe. Bravo Doc!
Vivid Kothari because it resonates in your spirit in your soul. I am there too. While I lived at home I was fine because my mom and sister kept the house organized. I was responsible for some chores and I did fine. Once I was married in my own house with my own family it’s been a nightmare. I have been so hard on myself I fell into a depression. Years later By chance a friend recommended a dr for weight management. The med he gave me I noticed what I thought I did. It was unbelievable! I could accomplish so much in a day!
The dr said it also helps for ADD patients. I could not believe my ears. I researched it on my own and realized I’ve always had ADD except as he says here I kept Inwardly the emotional behavior.
Because his brother died because he had ADHD. That is when he started to do research in ADHD.
The worst part about adult ADHD is the shame. Everyone thinks you are actively deciding to not be "here". It takes an effort that leaves me exhausted to be present and mediate a 3.5 hour meeting. At the end of it, I feel like a truck hit me. The next day when I still haven't recovered, the problems start. Marshalling my abilities becomes challenging at best. Then procrastination rears its ugly head. Then avoiding certain tasks and responsibilities starts to snowball. I'm blessed to say I have the faculties to right the ship and correct my direction before dire consequences occur. But, many with ADHD do not have this ability, and they suffer greatly. Greatly.
i know u made this comment two years ago but what do u mean by "faculties"?
@@feelthemoodshiftin Faculties is referring to his consciousness and mental awareness
😢
i lost this year to this downward spiral... i'm treating depression (originated from an unchecked ADHD)
i grew up with my issues being met with frustration and annoyance, so I bottle up
i want to do things... i want to live
i'm tired of just surviving :(
I agree going to work and school and leaving on time but always ending up being late I feel shame like im just one big disappointment my whole life and when I try to explain alot of people say try and I say I'm trying 100%. They'd ask then why are you late. At that point I give up and say I don't know anymore I leave on time or have the intention to finally today im gonna be on time to work and then still clock in 3 to 5 minutes after. I'm now 25 just got rediagnosed last year
This was such a fantastic speech, thank you so much for sharing your knowledge. I was diagnosed with ADD and my brother with ADHD and ODD. Everything you said hit home. I was more restless than hyperactive as a kid but emotionally I've always been all over the map, unable to build and sustain friendships, always feeling like an outsider, jumping from romantic relationship to romantic relationship. I hope the trouble with emotional inhibition makes it into the DSM V. I wish I'd had this information when I was diagnosed, and I hope others will.
+How to ADHD I wish I knew about this sooner, too. I am only now starting to realize that maybe, just maybe, I am not screwed up and that there is something wrong with me. I can very much relate to your symptoms. Thank you for sharing.
+Irsida Sheshi I can relate to both of you. Factor in relocating every 2-5 years and making friends seem utterly impossible.
Coming across your comments on these videos makes me giggle :p
Have you subscribed to @HowtoADHD yet on TH-cam???
A photo of this noble man might be more worthy then the whole DSM at all... Also I can imagine the opposing forces he might have to deal with, while going against the selfclaimed experts...
I don't know what to say. I'm crying because finally someone puts into words how I have been feeling for most of my adult life, and especially now that I am over 30. Thank you, sir. I need to show this video to my psychiatrist so she can finally believe me.
me too. my doctor half thinks im just a drug seeker, but this has been my whole life.
I so can relate to this comment. I am too afraid to take the pills though, so am trying mindfulness. I really would love to find an organization system though, it is the one thing I cannot seem to manage properly. I have so many different systems that I miss half of my appointments because they are written in different journals, apps, etc. I am all over the place :(
Irsida, as the doctor states, though I don't know if he says so in this video or not, a person with ADHD cannot use a system of organization because ADHD is a disorder of the executive functions. If an organization system could work, then you wouldn't have ADHD. For me, the only thing that works is having somebody lead me by the hand and keep me on task every moment of the day, or the medication. My girlfriend very much dislikes me on the medication, because she's against psychotropic drugs in general, as am I, but when I don't take my meds she is mindful to keep me on track. Earlier we went to walmart and she didn't let me get lost in the isles for hours when we went in for a short list of very specific things. All the best to you.
Ramadan, I hear good things about dexamph, but I also hear doctors don't like to see you've ever been prescribed it because they feel if you're coming to them for it that means you're a drug abuser. The problem is many doctors are unfamiliar with how to treat ADHD,especially in adults, and are unsure of how to proceed while helping their patient and not opening themselves up to legal liability from patients which mean to abuse their practice of medicine. Best of luck to you.
I've been doing really bad at school recently because my doctor seems inexperienced in treating ADHD and I'm thinking about asking for a referral to a psychiatrist. I just moved to an apartment within walking distance of the ADHD specialist in my area, so I'm hoping I can become a patient there in the long term.
Thank you for all the comments everyone, I appreciate you sharing your views and try to help me out. Michael, I will share your comment with my bf so he understands me more and maybe finally realizes that I need his help, I can't do it all alone. I keep on getting in trouble in my relationship because of my inability to change my behaviour. I keep on making the same mistakes (overbuying groceries or getting lost in supermarkets is one of them), so I really want to find a solution.
Yeah, you really need him in the supermarket with you making sure that you just go in to get what you need and don't get lost in the glamour of all the options and possibilities.
I find that when I go shopping with my girlfriend, though this is worse in the supermarket because there are 20 options of the same item, her ability to keep on task really stresses me out after a while (maybe 30 min). She's really nice about how she does it, but I apparently find it really stressing to adhere to concerted sequence of tasks. Make sure your boyfriend is braced for the possibility that you get irritable by the end of shopping.
I burst into tears when he said about friendship. That was me.. and I always wondered..
Yea it kinda hurts
Me too.. I still am rejected socially at school. I constantly feel lonely and like an outcast. I always think my friends right now will be better off without me because i will eventually mess it up somehow.
People get annoyed with the random talking episodes and excitement.I got to the point where I would get my phone out and set the stopwatch setting and tell acquaintances I got 10 minutes before my mind wonders. Sum up what you were going to tell me.
Madison Wickens Find new friends that can handle your excitement and learn when not to bother them.
@@janethockey9070 I just did not too long ago.. a few of em dont go to my school yet though
"It is a feeling inwardly of a need to be busy and doing multiple things."
Wow.
I felt that in my soul..I HAVE to stay busy or I get bored very easily n then get highly frustrated n irritable cuz this NEED to do stuff overshadows everything
That hit home for me. Especially since I graduated university and have been staying home until I find a job. I always feel like I need to be doing something, but I end up wasting my time and it feels terrible.
For real. I'm gonna cry.
Adding to that feeling is another feeling of being so overwhelmed that I cannot decide which of those 1000 things I want to do, so I end up doing nothing.
I'm at my desk at work and literally tearing up because of how accurately this describes so much of my life. Sometimes I can't believe I made it through childhood.
the adhd part of that is that you're watching this vid at work !!! but then so am I
I have lived my life never understanding what was wrong with me, I am so grateful to hear someone say aloud all the things I’ve lived with are explainable, It give me a sense of being ok
I'm so glad I discovered this channel.
I'm 72, and am for the first time seeking medication.
My life has been a wild ride. I've had brilliant successes, miserable failures.... and now, retired, I've little motivation, focus, drive, yet I want to get everything started and done.
I've been told multiple times that I'm a brilliant musician. I've all the tools to get out there, put on a great performance, work regularly. Yet, I've zero executive functions to get things going, make it happen... It's like I'm watching my life waste away.
It's a Herculean effort, just to hook up with the right professionals, to simply get the meds, fear is my pervasive emotion, freezing me in place.
That's how I am now. Trapped in an invisible cage, falling and failing with responsibilities weighing me down. I've been searching for something to help me out with no success. Maybe these videos will shed a little light on my situation.
If I hadn’t watched this video now, I would probably have written the same things at the age of 72.
This very man, Dr russell barkley, said that attention deficit is functionally equivalent to age related cognitive decline
I am the same 🙏🏽 People still ask me when is my album coming out. Now my fingers have arthritis 😞
I feel that last sentence. I took me years of contemplating inside of my own head if I should get help or not (spoiler, the answer is yes).
An excellent speech, and what he said about friendship actually made me cry. I felt so understood. I wasn't diagnosed with ADD until I was 28, probably because I always did well academically and I am a female without the "typical" hyperactivity. But what this fantastic speech really brings home is what has always been the heartbreaking problem I've faced all my life: the problems with emotional regulation, and (more so) other people's negative reactions to it.
Damn. My emotional dysregulation is so bad I'm glad he acknowledges it.
I wish this video existed years ago for me. But I am dearly glad it exists now for others.
I love how he refers to children as “individuals” like they’re little adults
I have diagnosed adhd and I’m blessed to say I’ve kept my three dearest high school friends. They’re the best humans
I’ve listened to the lecture twice with tears in my eyes. Finally understanding myself. Thank you
I had to rewind the video twice because I kept missing things while I was trying to pay attention.
No exaggeration
Literally the whole time I was listening to this, with every statement he said I kept saying, “correct correct correct,” this guy deliverers so well!
I am here crying as this is me. I am so glad that I have been diagnosed 🙏🏿
When my son's counsellor told us she saw markers for ADHD, I thought no freakin way, he's not a bounce off the walls kid, because that's all I knew about ADHD. Now that I've been researching about it, I see more and more of him. I see myself, yet I've never been diagnosed as ADHD. He has always been hypersensitive. He's always been super compassionate, but he struggles SO MUCH with Emotional Self-Regulation, despite me trying for years to help him with it. This doctor has helped me realize that it's NOT my parenting that's causing the issues. Thank you.
How bout you take your kid to someone whose actually licensed to diagnose ADHD, before playing armchair psychologist. He needs a neuropsychological evaluation, which are only done by clinical psychologist. Depending on age, you'll need to seek out a pediatric psychologist, so your kid's normal neurological child development isn't misunderstood and branded a "disease." Your behavior towards your child, causes a reaction. Expectations = disappointment. You have to learn to let go and accept your son for who he is, because you're actively showing him rejection, lack of acknowledgement & willingness to understand, and this greatly effects self-esteem. Caretakers get burned out. It's important to recognize the symptoms and get the respite and counseling you need, because it causing compassion fatigue.
Pretty much every doctor since the pandemic, is right there, and because of it, they're not believing people who have cancer and autoimmune disease and actually yell at their patients who are deathly sick and have waited months to see them due to long wait lists. As a caretaker for a loved one who battled Alzheimer's, trust, I understand caretaker burn out completely, and it's made me better able to see it in others. Had this been a diagnosis when I was growing up, my Mom would've been able to get some respite and get the social and psychological help she needed, rather than turn to self-medicating, and thus missing out on the best years of motherhood screaming and berating her kids for doing absolutely nothing wrong. Untreated burn out is high risk for addiction.
This man is so compelling. I have one of his books
Title please ? :) thank you
THIS DUDE IS A GENIUS!!! Please believe every word he has said. He's absolutely correct.
th-cam.com/video/fxEh69__2Cw/w-d-xo.html concerta is a cash grab stop taking it , HERES MY SOLUTION
All I wanna say is "Oh, my !", I'm 30 now and just know this yesterday. I was always a top students in class, but after starting work things started to become hard for me, even though I tried very hard. The thing is I know how to do it and I have a scheme in my head about how it would work out, but it is so damn hard for me to do it, whatever job I was given if you give me a deadline, I will not do it until deadline. It's so frustrating because I believe I am good and I should do good, people who are not knowing enough can do better than me. It's so depressing and my self esteem goes lower and lower. If I'm not into a thing, I can't even stay focus for even 5 mins and always end up doing lots of other things.
I thought It's because I was lazy, but I can get up before 6 and run every other day, how can someone who does this be lazy?
I feel like I am doing things so hard, it turns out, I am just trying so hard to stay focus and start doing.
Six years of working, I've changed five jobs, because after doing for a while I just don't feel like doing it anymore, or because of the impulsive emotions that I later regreted, so I'd rather go away from people who I had problems with. I don't know what's wrong with me and believed it was my depression. Now I realise it's more of a ADHD problem.
Tears in my eyes when I learned about this yesterday.
But I still feel my life is fucked up and I may be alone forever.
It's gonna be okay listen and learn all you can about the condition we both have make a plan ..set ..timers..set reminders find a peer group ..and keep on living my friend.
I just read your comment and it happened to me almost the same that happened to you. I excelled in elementary to middle school. High school was a little bit harder but it was ok. College? I dropped it, even after changin majors like three times. Everything was too much, too long and I've never could do something that I didn't considered mediocre. Same things happened with deadlines. And the same things happened with relationships.
I just found an ADHD forum and when I started to read, I was gobsmacked by it. Another user sent me this link and now I'm finding so many people with the same symptoms and the same experiences it makes me wanna cry,
I started crying.... I've never seen my issues articulated so well.
ALTERNATIVE TO CONCERTA THAT'S FREE
On my second run to watch the video and I understand things better now. on the fourth run I will get it at 100%. The info is very dense.
Dr. Barkley is eloquent, intelligent and Charismatic.
He's none. He's a money grabbing lying piece of shit
@@alanberkeley7282 How is that? Are you saying the things he's saying are not true? Or you're talking about something else?
@@walid7885 Russell Barkley says once a person is diagnosed with ADHD there is no reason for them not to be taking Adderall or Ritalin. He can say what he wants, but the only people who should be involved in this decision are the parents and physician, and, if the child is old enough, them.
@@alanberkeley7282 That is his own opinion and he made a rationale for it. You can disagree of course. There is no need to call him names. His idea is that it's all about lack of inhibition. A different perspective of the old paradigm. I have a nephew with the same problem. And I see his point. It applies to my nephew's situation. But evidently we can't generalize.
@@walid7885 What if the person diagnosed has heart conditions? Or blood pressure issues? What if they don't need Adderall or Ritalin? What if they can get buy without? What if it does nothing for them? What if the diagnosis is wrong? What if they don't actually have it and are faking it to get hold of the drugs to pass exams or sell for profit or to get high? There are too many variables for them to make such sweeping statements like that which I find extremely irresponsible and quite dangerous.
I was just diagnosed with severe inattentive ADD ... although I've always known and also have been on medicine for 10 yrs.
EVERYTHING YOU SAID WAS ME :'( I am crying writing this, because now at 36 it has gotten a lot worse over the yrs. my depression comes after my anxiety which is really severe also ... all I think about is time ... never having enough of it ... having now a child whom also has my ADD and also having a 9 month old and about to finish my associates and on my way to a bachelors in Social Work ... it's like when I try more, I fail worse ... I feel like a failure everyday :'(
the medication did not help you.
Callie Parker as someone who thinks about time A LOT - I can say your comment almost brought me to tears... I’m often thinking of how I’m wasting it, how there’s too little of it, how to use it - I want to do everything and nothing at the same time - and in the end - just feel exhausted
so sad to hear, reading your comment, i could not help but think of myself especially when you mentioned rumination of time
You're not alone lovely & my heart goes out to you. i am over 60yo & hardly have any future left but you're still young & strong in body & spirit.
I hope your future will be helped by some kind Doctor with a groundbreaking therapy.
Look up U.K Professor Nunn or Mind Medicine Australia. One day we may be able to find a doorway out of this horrible maze x wishing you hope. Usually i am a swearing crazy Banshee doing a Raging Bull impersonation haha)
From Oz :)
P
I am crying my eyes out so much listening to this... I have recently been diagnosed and I can relate to this from my entire life
Brilliant! My husband shows the emotion side all the time and I see it in my son who’s been diagnosed with ADHD. So glad that the emotion side is part of it, it explains so much.
Maybe if I stayed medicated throughout my young adult life I wouldn't have ruined so many perfectly good relationships for myself. I struggled for several years trying to keep a steady job and it burned just about every bridge in my life. Completely ruined my entire reputation because of things I cannot control about myself. And being told that I was such an asshole, a loser, and I wouldn't ever amount to anything. after a while I just began to believe all those things about myself and just gave up trying for a very long time.
OMG you just described my life. You’re not alone!!!! I am undiagnosed ... but all of this describes my entire life.
Same. Hugs
This is where I’m at. I can’t wait to get my diagnosis so that I can be medicated and start living more normally. But still I can’t I burn those bridges or go back to those jobs 😔
Same. Being medicated on ritalin in my youth would've set my life on a better path.
Ive become a hermit. I just cancelled Christmas with my family. And I’ve decided that I’m okay with that.
For real I can easily seems lack of emotion
I hear you. I’m 51 and pretty much live in 1 room.
I was left out and bullied. I'm still left out 50 years later! Thank goodness for my loving husband.
me too but im not married so im just alone all the time
@@JustinK0 Sorry Justin :(
@@THXx1138 Thanks but im a programmer so being alone allows me to code all day and create new things
I had never heard of Oppositional Defiant Disorder, but now looking it up, I experienced almost ALL of those symptoms as a child. I feel like this explains so much about the behaviors I displayed then.
Same, it's uncanny!
This is pretty incredible that hes answering all of my questions about my life. Hes literally explaining why I feel and think the way I do.
I heard this video about a year ago and it really did change my life. What he said about emotional self-regulation, and classmates peer bonding in the second grade made a lot of sense to me. It distinctly did happen to me, but in the third grade, because I'm a July baby and I didn't turn seven until the summer between 2nd and 3rd grade. I was always the youngest person in my class all the way up to senior year of high school. And it really did happen just like he said! All my classmates were becoming friends around me and left me out. I never understood why until now. "Your classmates will forgive you your impulsivity, your distractibility, your forgetfulness, your poor working memory, but they will never forgive your emotional volatility because it is offensive!" 58 years later and I finally get it!
It is a total pleasure to listen to a Doctor who finally makes sense. Common sense in the real meaning of theterm. In Ireland today as in probably many countries parents are fed a total load of nonsense about ADHD, impulsivity and anger. So many parents are told that their ADHD child who acts out their agression
Thank you sir for this amazing presentation
i was crying from time to time when i was listening to his speech.
As i read just the first few comments, i can not stop crying.
So many years suffering. (today is no exception, actually today is another full-on "can not concentrate to save my life and my work" day)
hope others have an easier day, and for that matter, an easier life (i am sure it is not easy, as you would not be watching this video, if things were easy for you)
Recently diagnosed, I had read his books on adults and ADHD recommended to me by my psychiatrist, but had no clue he was so compassionate. Not only in the approach to ADHD, symptoms and the effect it has on those who suffer it, but also in the respect he presents to those trying to understand it. I have been raised by university professors and been in academia all my life, and I have seen all the spectrum of academic behavior, from the pedantic ivory tower gatekeepr to the down to earth approachable genius, and everything in between. This brilliant mind is part of the latter, and he is making the world a better place. Thank you, Dr Barkley.
can you tell what the title of the book is , please
This explains why I am so exhusted after work. Regulating my emotions is all consuming. Thank you for helping make the connection.
For now , the GOAT. I don't ever find someone saying it so clearly. I just hate ppl retelling all this romantic stuff " You are special or that Einstein also had ADHD, or being naturally creative" . Thanks for brushing off the dust and mould on the topic.
I want him as my doc... finally to have someone to speak to who understands.
Russel Barkley is tops with me. I started rejecting friends before they rejected me by the time I was in 2nd grade. I had friends in school but not out of school. I was disciplined, ridiculed and humiliated and my mother before she died told my sister she regretted the way she treated me. I poured my heart out to her once and she told me I was unlovable. R. Barkley focuses on treatment but what about the abuse ADHD/ADD people suffer.
No child is unlovable. If your mom said that she likely had issues of her own from childhood
I know this is late for the party, but you should definitely read scattered minds my dr. Gabor maté.
“By dr Gabor maté “
Im so sorry that happened to you.:(
I cried when i watched this its crazy to think that he described me when i thought i was the problem.
the relational issues are also spoken about overly simplistically in this video. it's not always being too quick to anger. for some people with ADHD, anger was never the issue - it was missing cues from peers and therefore not fitting into their norms.
So true. This describes me perfectly. Thanks Laurie.
Have u researched Aspergers Syndrome. I have and found out that adhd goes along with Aspergers quite frequently. I have some minimal AS symptoms.
He also missed a point of cultural norms... Like in some cultures being late is seen as a major disrespect, in this case time regulation is a thing
for me it wasn’t regulating the negative emotions but the positive ones that cost me friendships. i was always too peppy and enthusiastic, and the other kids didn’t like that. especially when i wouldn’t shut up about my hyperfixation of the week. we really aren’t normal people lol
@@turnleftaticeland Is it us who aren't normal, or if it the other way around, with the masses in a hypnotic compliant stupor?
This man is a genius describes me to a tee.
th-cam.com/video/fxEh69__2Cw/w-d-xo.html STOP TAKING CONCERTA
@5:35 "You can not be impulsive in your behaviour and not be impulsive in your emotions. That is impossible because they are a unity. They go together. Emotion is welded in everything you say and do."
Yes, regular folks/non pyschs know this, its almost common sense based off of what we see. Its sad pyschs and the pysch boards did not.
I got diagnosed with adhd when I was in second grade and I'm 25 now and I have never felt like someone has described it as well as this guy describes it
i am blown away at the mans knowledge his passion and conviction .
That was amazing. I have listened to you in tears. Belive me, you make a huge difference in other people's lives. I appreciate this. Lots of love from Turkey.
this was so comforting to listen to you have no idea....
This makes me want to cry, I’ve always thought I was a freak my entire life. It’s really soothing that there some people out there that understand
This man has changed my life. He made my husband aware that I may have been suffering with ADHD for 43 years….and he was right! I was finally assessed and diagnosed last year. I am working in consultation with a psychiatrist who is treating me with medication. Thanks to this man I don’t feel like a freak! I feel he sees and respects the diversity and the challenges we go through. Thank you sir, you changed my life for the better 🌸
what kind of medication?
Same
That rejection hits home so hard. Feel so incredibly validated.
This has explained so much to me about myself and my son that I’m on the verge of tears.
Thank you from a bereaved mom 💔
I giggled like a little boy when he spoke about snap decisions. Then realized that was exactly what he was talking about.
I am hearing about ODD for the first time right now at 48, I look it up and it describes me 110%. Even to this day I cannot stand any rules, I despise all forms of authority even if it comes from myself. It's so severe at times that I hate myself for making myself have to do something.
.👆👆👆🍫💊🍄🍄✅
He just explained MY ENTIRE LIFE!!
Someone give this man a medal. He's earned it.
This has probably been the best introspection session I have ever had. Thank you.
This guy makes me want to cry. He is so understanding, so passionate for the people with ADHD, and wants not only those people but everyone else to understand this. I have recently realized that I have ADHD and have for a very long time now. I am now on a journey to learn about it, and hopefully get into my doctor for some help with it.
This man spoke to my soul.
I'm currently still on a waiting list to be seen by a specialist, but my therapist and basically everyone I know agree that there's a high likeliness I have the HI variety. This not being able to hide your raw emotions and thus missing out on connecting with others explains SO MUCH about my childhood.
It feels like I'll never have any friends because there are so many social barriers to what is "allowed" emotionally and being honest/impulsive with my emotions is not acceptable.
I am near tears, because for the first time, I feel completely understood. Thank you!
I just got diagnosed with ADHD, I have lived with it untreated for 18 years. This man is saying everything that I’ve felt but didn’t know how to express. The sad part is that I am enlisted in the U.S Army and they aren’t too accepting of this disorder. I won’t be able to start taking meds until after boot camp and A.I.T. But knowing that someone finally understands everything me and many people like me are feeling is refreshing. It needs to be brought to the attention of the Armed Forces, teachers, parents that this isn’t just a child choosing to be this way, they are forced to be this way. There is better options then just telling kids to deal with it or to “act right” as I’ve been told. I’m glad more research is being done on this subject and it’s being brought to light.
Hello are u there?
The way you describe ADHD fits my son to a t. Thank you for putting it in words that makes sense to me. I struggle every day trying to relate to my boy.
I can't believe after 33 years old of my life, I've finally have someone understand what is happening inside my brain.
I remember when I was in grade 8, I had one of my more embarrassing violent moments. A girl, who I think liked me was making a joke about me and a friend of mine being gay for each other and I immediately started punching her. Since, I've never hit another person (man or woman). I've always struggled with emotional regulation, but I always thought that was because my parents were distant and emotionally absent from me when I was a child - this probably didn't help though.
This man is literally like an angel sent from the cosmos to talk directly to ADHD people and let them know they are not unwanted nor are their voices silent.
This doctor is 100% accurate, and I say this as an adult woman who was diagnosed in 1985. Grew out of the physical hyperactivity and it went so far inside of me it turned into an anxiety disorder.
I wish my parents knew this when they where still alive :'(
i'm sorry friend
I understand...it would have made a world of difference...
You know. You can do something about it now. I know that it doesn’t make it easier, as there are so many things that could have gone differently (I speak from experience). Maybe it would be good to see if you could spend time educating others about this? Maybe a class offered for free at a library? Maybe you could talk to some teachers? I’m currently trying to offer a, “ask me anything about ADHD” for teachers. I’d like for it to help them understand their students and provide them hope. This may not change what happen between you and your parents, but it could prevent other people from going through the same pain?
i have to say it here.
i feel everything described, and my brain was thinking on the side ''could this become a new passion to focus on!''
ive been into research and help videos about adhd for about 2 weeks now.
when you were talking about parents attending to help their children, it boosted that feeling, that somehow i need to know more about it.
I feel almost ignorant trying to let family know every bone they have to pick with has always been a trait of my adhd..my executive function.
Moving in with my dad at 25 has been isolating. He will give me lecture about forgetting to wash the pan and that I show no progress to him as an adult. I feel hurt. He will never understand I’m trying harder at life than neurotypical to be seen and respected as the neurotypical person when im not. I am being told I am insane for being late to things and not fixing it. That I’m lazy. It hurts to been looked down upon. I’m doing good managing! I am looking to get my own place this summer. I will prove to myself I can still do ok with adhd
Started watching this from a tiktok. I had 2 kids on the spectrum, both with ADHD. Currently struggling with the orders, who just started middle school. The ODD part is a revelation for us. It explains SO much of what has been happening.
Thank you so much, Dr. Your presentation is amazingly analytical, precise.clear. Thank you
He is so passionate about this topic, and knowledgeable. I am learning so much from him!
I was diagnosed at 60 years of age. Medication helps me stay away from other drugs I had been using to cope with life, but the emotional stuff that has plagued me all my life is still an enigma to me.
He described me to a T. I wonder, though, how I can recover, considering my abusing drugs beginning at the age of 14. Have I damaged my brain even more? I've been clean for over 30 years now, but I do wonder.
His speech pushed me to get help. I'm over 30 but string of events made it unbearable. Knowledge and medication helps a lot.
Very well said. My son is in the process of being diagnosed with either ADD or ODD or both and he’s 20!. I’ve suspected all along there was something more to my son than a learning disability. It really describes his behaviour to a T. This man knows his stuff. What I didn’t know was that ADD can lead to ODD.
I hope your beloved son has gotten his diagnosis determined and I hope he is receiving the best treatment possible. I wish and I pray the best for him, and achieve great success in all aspects of life, as well as for you being a caring and compassionate mother to your child.
Best talk EVER on explaining what ADHD!!
He has just described me perfectly. Great man. Thank you Dr R B. I was diagnosed at 57 years of age at the Maudsley hospital London. It's been very difficult to live with. I'm also a recovered Alcoholic (25 years sober) 👍🇬🇧
Well done being sober
@@brendayourell8978 thank you and God bless you 👍🙏
Adhd kid here. Love your speeches. Absolutely great to explain the last five years of my life as I transitioned from kid to kidult. Haha. Adult.
Thank you for this. I can understand now. Maybe if I start working on myself…. I could meet an understanding person. Someone calm. Someone nice. Someone patient. Someone loving. I’m going to be working on being all those things myself. Thanks again.
This literally made me cry from how well it describes what I'm dealing with.
finally age 36 and miracle cocktail so far is Strattera 25MG (on day 3) with Fluoexetine 40MG (have been on for months).. If this doesn't initiate motor drive I know desipramine works, and will get it.
I'm so grateful for these. Everything is right on. ❤️ I'm in the process of getting a diagnosis for myself and my children. Listening to this makes me even MORE sure that this is it. This is the thing that messed me up my whole life and now my kids...
I have no idea why this and his other lecture made me cry. I’m so glad this exists.
Dr Barkley is such an amazing man. What an inspiration. I have been following his work for many years since my children were diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia. The context in which he transmits information is not only relevant but profoundly informative. Thank you for your contributions Sir. From a dedicated mother across the pond in the UK who is continually perceived ‘too much’ for wanting to educate myself on how to best support my children’s needs and give them a fighting chance in a world that is unequivocally unprepared and unfit in relation to inclusion. ❤️🙏🏼
I actually didnt realise emotion wasnt considered part of it for me its a billion percent the hardest part as an undiagnosed 42 yr old mother with 5 kids 2/3 with undiagnosed adhd life has been hard and emotions have been a nonstop rollercoaster with no pause im so tired
Thank you for sharing all of these videos from this conference. My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6. People don’t really understand this disorder.
I’m not sure if I can see it as a disorder all though it comes with it’s challenges. I was diagnosed late 30’s and my kids also have ADHD. Yes, they don’t fit in perfectly in a formal school setting, but they bring colour into this world. Their creativity and ability to think outside the box is a well needed trait. They have heaps of friend, who fight over who gets to have a play date with them. I have learned to love my ADHD over the years. I see it as a difference in brain chemistry, but the creativity and hyper focus it brings can be amazing. I wouldn’t want to be a neurotypical to be honest.
I was never hyperactive as a child. My was called stupid all my life. I was told I wore my emotions on my sleeve. As an adult, I am trying to unlearn what I learned to get by. The emotion thing is what I'm struggling with. I have pretty much self isolated. I have maybe 2 friends at most now. I have never married or had children. The loneliness gets overwhelming but it is safer than rejection.
As soon as he started talking about the inability to regulate emotions im just like "stop talking about me!!!"
Amazing ! I can relate so much to this, I’m 31 and I’ve only realised this week I have ADHD and it’s blowing my mind, it explains EVERYTHING!
What are your main symptoms?
Omgg. He is always so spot on.
Thank you! I have adhd and you have explained a lot! I understand myself much better.
finally a proper explanation, thanks
Do you struggle with that too? :( ...
Mine is impulsiveness... my biggest issue...
I don't have adhd, my daughter has and probably her father. It is important to understand adhd. We humans are all different gems right? Wish you good luck.
@@NG-cx1mm Exactly, i wish you all the happiness in life and to your daughter too 💓
4:15 The part that's the most tough to deal with. The emotional regulation is the biggest struggle that hurts relationships, job prospects and yourself. 😢
Is this guy still doing seminars? He should be putting these on for actual people with adhd. I have watched hours of him now. And he understands us fully.
I must do all the things all the time. That is my inner self. I can not sit still because then I am unproductive, and if I am unproductive I am failing at the things.
Thank you for seeing me 😭