As someone who got diagnosed at 42 years with ADHD after being treated 15 years for depression, this broke my heart. I may have been able to make my marriage work, better mother my kids, finish college and build a successful career had I been medicated 20 years earlier.
I can say "don't dwell," but since im also dwelling on my own stolen life at 35, i won't. All i will say is TALK. Find someone, call someone, type, anything to get your dangerous thoughts out. Once they are out and known by people who want to help, you will feel better.
As much as I appreciate his work on increasing awareness, I feel like talks like this do a disservice to the many of us who have ADHD combined with high IQ/high functioning and have therefore escaped diagnosis for a long time, often well into adulthood, by coming up with various coping mechanisms to compensate during studies etc. This is especially the case for women. For those of us in this category, it's so hard to get a diagnosis because we appear to be "successful" and well-adjusted -- even when it's clear that our coping mechanisms are the only reason for this and that our daily life is basically chaos otherwise, that our hypersensitivity and emotional reactivity (another hallmark ADHD characteristic) makes our life unnecessarily hard on so many levels, etc.
Bingo! While I love and appreciate his work it is definitely more geared towards the stereotypical hyperactive and male version of ADHD. Not addressing the Inattentive version as much or female masking due to societal expectations. Of course, these talks are old. There's been way more research in these areas since 2009.
Wow. What a comment. Thank you. I’m 38 next week. I earn in the top 1%, I’m smart, run a business - not what he describes in the beginning. It’s only now a few years off of 40 that I am really struggling. I’m interested to know more from people like you.
@@katjo71367 thanks for sharing. Serious question, didn’t you ever have a melt down, or flashpoint where some symptoms became such a problem that you needed help to the point you could have been diagnosed sooner?
@@cigall sorry, I should have been clear. I’m male. Not sure how different the symptoms are… but I’m more gobsmacked by the impact of the symptoms bearing in mind this can go undetected for so long! I feel like I’ve got on with life until the last few years and since, my mind has been nuked. It’s bizarre. Thanks for the response.
I have severe ADHD and it has completly ruined my life. This man is absolutely right. I have always felt half my age and wondered why there is a discrepancy with how I think and how I act. Enter the reality of the "executive level" - and usually ADHD sufferers tend to be half their biological age in this regard.
Similar story here. ADHD taken care of (meds + psychotherapy) for 3 months now, and this video helps me stay on course (i,e. what could happen if I did not take my condition seriously.)
Brilliant. I'm 60 years of age and was diagnosed with ADHD 5 years ago. Russell is describing me perfectly. I was like a lunatic behind the wheel. Alcoholism. Sober since 95. 👍♥️🇬🇧✝️
I'm 61 and it was only since going into recovery that it was suggested I look at ADHD - what I read was astounding - it was me totally. One hell of a relief - but also sad as well. Fortunately, I have a large and supportive family and friends especially since being in recovery. No wonder I took to alcohol to calm my racing head! I wish you well my friend, both in ADHD and with recovery. I'm currently in the process of obtaining a diagnosis.
I dropped out of college at 19 after a suicide attempt from being overwhelmed. I had no idea I had ADHD then. Listening to how a campus could be redesigned for people with ADHD makes me sad that those options were not available to me. Now, in 2020, they still are not.
I know you wrote this a year ago but thanks for sharing. I just wrote my suicide note for the first time a few days ago and I've just started my masters after getting unfairly dismissed without accommodation from a job, amongst a lot of other really difficult things this. Also out of my adhd meds and can't get any for a while. It hurts because people really don't understand how literally disabling this can be, and how frustrating it is that this world isn't accessible even to those without neurological differences. I hope it gets easier one day.
I failed out in the first year. I was treated like I was deliberately failing because of a moral deficit. I was immediately given up on and dismissed. I have to come back home and my mom threatened to kick me out constantly. I'm 36 and I'm still suffering the impact even though I am successful now.
Not only do I Feel like I’m 20 years behind. It really is that way, 😕. It hurts to see people 20 years younger than me who have achieved more in half the time.
😭 I’m at the same position in my life. Feel useless and way behind than everyone else my age. I’ve done fairly well anyways but now with chronic health issues on top, it’s extremely difficult. Pushing through though.
While I agree with the driving thing in general, a lot of ADHD people (myself included) actually hyperfocus on driving and are excellent drivers in the right conditions. However I do not deal well with distractions within the vehicle itself - other people being loud or distracting in the passenger seat etc. I also ensure I wait until the road ahead is clear and there is a wide gap between myself and the next car before attempting anything like adjusting the stereo or satnav. Also actually learning to drive was incredibly hard before I could consolidate the multiple tasks required while driving (changing gear, pedals, mirrors, steering, other controls) into the single task of simply driving. I should also point out I only started learning to drive at the age of around 32, so had a much better attitude towards it than say, a 16yr old might do.
Your comment made both laugh *and* cringe. I refuse to drive without medication, especially with my spouse or kids in the car. An exception is for a quick trip to the market. As the "on meds" version of me... I agree. The unmedicated version... Have you ever passed another car on the shoulder? On a highway? Performed a high-speed 180 in a pick-up truck? Impulsivenes. ADHD doesn't make ANYONE a better driver, medicated notwhitstanding (even though we drive much better that way).
I am currently being diagnosed with ADHD but when it comes to driving I am totally aware of my surroundings. But what does bother me is having the wipers, the radio, turn indicator all going simultaneously. I can't deal with that.
there is such thing as hyperfocused ADHD. there are several different types of ADHD. That's what makes treating this disorder so much more complicated than it seems.
Not too long ago, the stuff this guy said would have made me angry. However, looking back on my childhood, yeah I just wasn't keeping up with the other kids on a functional level. I learned everything they learned and in some ways was more advanced than my peers, just not in ways that mattered for actually functioning. Since I was 14 my mom just expected me to "get it" and manage all my own stuff while she focused entirely on her own personal life. Then she threw me out on my 18th birthday, which according to this guy is like throwing a 13 year old onto the streets, which is honestly what it felt like. I had no idea how to function and started getting involved with criminals. Luckily I had other family members who were willing to help me and get me on a better path. Still everything was a struggle but I achieved a lot with their help. I got diagnosed last year at 32 and just started medication and therapy a couple months ago. For the first time, I feel like my needs are being met, I can maintain friendships, and most importantly I feel like I actually have a future.
"just do it"... F that... Recently I described ADHD like this to my Mom "If you take a 30year old who can't swim, and throw them in the pool, it doesn't matter how many times you should at them to "just swim!" , they simply will not get it...
He definitely gives it unvarnished. I'm over taking that personally, personally. The guy is a massive asset to the community, whether t he says things in a way that soothes or one that inflames.
My 40 self is so sad for my younger undiagnosed self who just thought, and was told, I was lazy. And thinking of what I could’ve accomplished if my parents had known.
I used to not even have the radio on or let anyone talk to me basically all I could focus on was driving. I have definitely had accidents when I am anxious or something but that’s true for anyone.
For those who think the meds change your personality. It’s not your personality that’s changing but the jumping off the walls and the fidgeting a lot of adhd people have. It is calming that down and it’s causing confusion. If you feel like a zombie the dose is to high.
My son said the same thing feeling like a zombie, had no desire to go out socially. Have you adjusted to the right dose that you no longer feel this way? Are you on the ADHD drugs constantly ?
Holy shit this is on point. I never finished highschool, crashed my car and lost my license for 1 year. Bad with money, got social problems. Risky sexual activity.
This is a message for all parents who are in denial about their child's ADHD. This doesn't happen all of the time, but it CAN & DOES happen. So if your child's teacher or doctor suggests an evaluation, swallow your pride, detach yourself from your emotions, & heed their advice.
I dropped out of highschool because I was depressed (which i believe had to do with the fact I never had any idea what was going on because of my focus issues) and got diagnosed with adhd 6 years later. That diagnosis and medication has changed my life. I'm going back to school, and although it's still very difficult, I know why I struggle and have help to deal with things.
@pomegranateorange Is it childish being optimistic, happy, playful, don't take yourself too serious, forgive and forget quickly, love people? Or is it like you still can't read lol? ADHD people are usually optimistic, chatty, good in dynamic environment and in careers they love. Not only I don't feel my age, I also don't look my age, because I don't buy that bs.,,, People get pissed how fast I get good at new things, with ease. The danger there is that ADHD makes me get bored quickly with everything new, I need the next good thing. If you manage to stick to one thing long enough, you can be very successful even if you have ADHD.
I'm 45 years old and just received my ADHD diagnosis a couple of months ago. Mine is not even "severe", not as severe as some people I know, but it's been incredibly destructive nonetheless. I've been to university 3 times and left with nothing to show for it but a pile of debt. I bought the cheapest car I could afford when I was in 28 and I'm still driving the same one because I can't afford to change it--it's falling apart, and it's not safe, but what can I do? I am very intelligent, I'm articulate, I have so many talents, my superpower is that I learn very quickly and can teach myself almost anything. But I haven't been able to do anything with myself because (1) I am unable to sustain anything for the long term (2) all my time, energy, resources, money go towards paying off mistakes I made in the past or putting out fires that happened as a result of my ADHD. I have no idea how I will ever get ahead of it and make something of myself. It is devastating. Please, if you are young and just received a diagnosis, or if you are a parent of a child who has ADHD, please please take this seriously and get the appropriate treatment.
Man that 2nd paragraph hit me as so relatable. Even though I just got diagnosed at 25 and am taking medication, I feel so listless and unmotivated to do anything with my life.
@@ahmedmahay That second paragraph hit me too! I wrote a book about recovery (51,000 words), but am unnable to finish it, because the thrill and the challenge has gone. Unmotivated and listless - yep. I had an assessment for ADHD - I'm in the UK and now have to wait 6 - 8 months for a diagnosis. Like the author above, I love the challenge of learning how to do something - then get bored
I do appreciate your last words! My daughter is 13 and soon Will start the medication. I was scared but now I see the consequences of not medicating ...I cannot run the risk. Thanks a lot😊
Wish I was diagnosed as a child but as an adult I'm thankful to understand my brain and life struggles better. It's frustrating when people say it's not real, but to anyone who has it we know it's real! Hang in there!
As a student and an eldest child I had many high expectations placed on me. I was always a high achiever in elementary school but once I had to take more responsibility of my work in middle and high school, everything slipped through my fingers. At home I was expected to be a leader and act like a parent. I always struggled emotionally when the stress of babysitting my siblings (which I have five of) got to me and usually manifested in rage or bursting into tears. The expectations at home and school were far beyond my ability and there was no one to help me. I'm going to college soon and how I turn out change drastically change the future of my siblings but to be successful I need the right help. I hope to get a diagnosis within this year but my parents don't believe it is possible for me to have ADHD. They believe that only people with super obvious symptoms during childhood can have it. My younger sister is also autistic and non verbal, I want to change there view on neurodivergence for the both of us.
I am a high functioning ADHD with a very high IQ. but I am 43 years old and I have a burn out from my life. I am not behind in age or intelligence. I never wanted kids, I don’t have drivers license. But it’s the daily stress and struggle to function on my level that is literally killing me .
The high functioning part is the rub. Where we are seen to be managing well we are dismissed as not needing support at all. It's worth advocating for yourself to get tested and diagnosed. My 22 year old daughter recognised herself, aged 19, in child development for her psychology degree. She paid for an educational psychologist to do an assessment but hasn't been able to access proper support in Britain without a formal diagnosis. She got that right before Christmas after 2 years of waiting. She feels relieved that she really isn't a failure for not completing her degree. She's been referred for medication but that waiting list is 6 months. Once medication is sorted she will be flying academically, or so she was told by the psychiatrist. Having medication or not, once you have a formal diagnosis disability law kicks in and accommodations have to be made for you by employers. You'll also be able to access any other support measures so that you aren't doing it all alone. I'm 60 and my daughter is convinced that I have it. I do have recognised ptsd. Being high functioning I've had to fight to get support for that. No one can live out of an emotional energy vacuum. It's worth fighting for support.
Diagnosed at 61. I have adhd and depression burnout. Glad I Know why I'm where I am, but why didn't my doctor of 40 yrs never send me for a diagnosis? It's killing me too. 😢
I was diagnosed at 38. I was given Adderall and told I was cured. I'm smart and driven so I thought I now had inattentive part under control. However, no one ever talked to me about it being a disorder or to look out for difficulties accompanying ADHD. It wasn't until a year ago that I heard about "Executive dysfunction." My life at 58 is in ruins. I can see no future except continuing to being unemployed and living with my 80 year old parents. Please, please, please do the research necessary to get control of your disorder. You don't want to end up like me. No one would want to be me.
WOW! this man talks sense, I identify so much with what he is saying. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the Maudsley hospital in London last November, they use the Barkley scale. I'm a 57 year old man, it's answered a lot of questions for me
Emily Drum if you mean, crying and sobbing because you realise how awesome and how much infinite value you are to the world, then, yeah, carry on, I agree
Same- I was diagnosed as a child, but my caregiver said, " no, God will cure her no treatment is needed" I'm still suffering the consequences as an adult
I believe I have ADD. I’ve withdrawn from three semesters of university, this semester included. I tried very hard to just sit in the classes and learn and pay attention. After two weeks of going to every class and doing all the work, I became extremely ill. I lost taste, developed migraines, slept 18 hours at a time several days for a month, and more symptoms. I felt like I was dying, and doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me, and this isn’t the first time that after two weeks of trying the classes I fell extremely ill.
Honestly, I did better in university because I would research all of my professors on rate my professors and chose professors who were understanding about late assignments and highly passionate about what they taught. I didn’t know I had adhd but I was already setting up workarounds. I don’t believe I would have graduated if I hadn’t done my degree on one of my hyper fixations though.
Solid family life with structured days and clear, achievable expectations, along with meds, and faithful homeschooling has saved my 13 yo son. Customizing his education, one on one time, working at his pace, which is variable depending on the subject. It's been incredible for him academically, emotionally and also for our relationship, which will be the most important thing to keep intact through adolescence. I highly recommend homeschool for ADHD if you can swing it.
I have been listening and educating myself with different doctors on this subject. I have found a few that I like, But you are straight to the point! I am so thankful to find your knowledge. Thank you!
I have ADHD, and taught myself how to self regulate, but it was an arduous journey. As a child, I had great difficulty staying on task, I was in almost constant trouble at school. There were incidences of violence on my peers when I was first in school, K through 3rd grade. I was in fights in Kindergarten. In first grade, my friend and I were accosted by 5th graders who tried to bully me into giving over my lunch money. My friend and I beat the older kids up to such a degree that we were both expelled from school. In second grade, during the first recess, I was climbing a dome style monkey bars with my jump rope in my hand. When I neared the top, there were two of the most annoying girls in my class sitting on top, and when they noticed me climbing toward their vicinity, they began to chastise and make fun of me. As I got closer, one of the girls said something to her friend, and then swung down and dropped down to the ground and skipped away to the door of the school. The remaining girl stayed on the bars, with her focus trained on me. She said something which made me angry, and she started to climb through the top of the bars, like her friend did a minute earlier. I grabbed my rope, and put a loop in it and threw it over her head as she was dropping down. At the same time as she was dropping from the height, I was dropping through with the other end of the rope tightly in my hands. Right at that moment, a teacher walked around the corner of the building & saw what was happening. I dropped my end of the rope. There were more incidents like the things I just mentioned following, in subsequent years. The school district would not let my parents enroll me into any schools until I was in the counseling of a child psychologist. I also attended several sessions of child psychiatry at a place named Child Behavoral Services. They were mean to me there. As I got older, I got into. Martial arts, and excelled there. At the same time as the beginning of my martial arts training, my Dad would make me do an excercise in which I was forced to do stare at an orange, which he would put at the center of the dining room table. I would have to stare at the orange for 15 minutes, without distraction. After some time , my mental functions were much better, I did much better in school, and became a voracious reader of Stephen King novels like "The Stand". I did finish high school, and attended some college, met a girl, fell in love, got married, and then it all fell apart. I began to lose focus,. Started using drugs and alcohol, started being a womanizer, dropped out of college, got divorced , and fell apart. I got several good paying jobs, but would lose them from not showing up. This went on and on for several years, but I regained control of my life, met another girl, got married again, had a son, was very focused on my new family and my job. A year and a half later, my wife started doing bad things, drugging, and sleeping around, A LOT. My life once again spiraled out of control. I started using amphetamines, to try to gain control over my brain. It worked. I got a good job at a facility where I am able to work without supervision, and able to do my own things when I want to I am still on the amphetamines, and going strong. I have now been the longest job I have ever held, and with a woman I love for 10 years. My son is grown up, and happy. I am happy.
Does adhd cause one to be always late and postpone things and not focus well in school t the point where sometimes he reads or listens to the teacher but finds it harder to process the information as quickly as before cause his mind is focused on the idea of being distracted ? sort of an OCD within ADHD..like doing it on purpose yet no control over it
I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50. I am sporadic and i have trouble staying focused. I have been married 37 years old, and I have great friends. I am a good driver, and I have a good credit rating with a large savings account. I am not sure if I am a miracle or what? I graduated college with a 3.7 GPA,. My syllabus in college was my executive functioning device. Our three children are educated and doing well. My diagnostic psychologist was amazing. Without the extra fifty percent time on exams in math only I could have never earned my degree. I was abused as a child probably because of the stress that my ADHD behavior created.
Bumpride rolling I'm not even 30 and I have nearly all the problems he talks about. And I'm officially gifted, so it's not about my intelligence. I don't even have a driving license, because I'm already a danger to others and myself when on a bike, forget the car...
I understand. When I was in my 20's, had lost both parents in 5 months, was in an abusive relationship and had just had my first child at 24, my anxiety driven ADHD and ADD was causing me not to stay focused. I had three accidents in less than a month. I had two of the wrecks in one week. I finally manged to get control of my life largely through my higher power and a strong drive to never give up. I read self-help books, and minored in psychology in college.
@@bumpriderolling9158 shit man I'm sorry about ur parents. I know how you feel. Dude if you believe in god pretty sure you have questions of why he is a piece of dog shit
He nailed me on everything on *except* the driving. I'm an extremely good driver. I pick my sexual partners *V E R Y C A R E F U L Y* but once in a relationship I'm more physical than anything. However, I was an ugly duckling in my youth. Once I hit my twenties I was the one being pursued. But my relationships suffered. Still do.
Lol yes it's a bit easier to escape the impulsive sexuality when you have... let's call it a visually evident productive adaptation... and opportunities are scarce 😅
As a ADHDer, I had a lot of the impulsivity, so always wanted to finish school stuff fast. I never took homework home. I have very little focus, but I had to think fast. So in those moment of focus I would remember what I needed to remember. I also feel I have a mild case of OCD and think that helped to have some things in mind and do them.
It’s unfortunate how much i related to this and how much it hurts to know, how my parents simply refused to become educated on my condition. I am 20 years old, and when i was barely 6 i think, my parents took the doctors recommendations of prescribed ADHD medication and less then a year or so, took me out of it because i was having “suicidal thoughts.” Yes, a 6 year old wanted to die and ever since then, my parents never been interested in prescribing me medication, even after all these years. I was never good in high school and dropped out. Got my GED, went to community instead, my first semester professor took such great accountability for my education that i was able to pass all 4 classes within a single semester. Not only that, a nice lady was able to help me set up all of my classes. But once the semester ended, my college basically told me to take the wheel. I had to pick my college classes, and was put in a room full of professors who could give to shits wether i passed or failed. They never reached out like my first semester professor, and eventually failed all of them. ADHD is real. My parents are alway expecting so much from me, and expect me to get everything done like a normal person. I’ll tried going back to ADHD medication and they basically fought with me NOT to take it. i’ll already fucked up my education, i might as well see if medication can help me become a more competent individual in the work force.
Same here. Got diagnosed at 6 or 7 and didn't get medicated because my Parents listened to a weird Doctor. Completly forgot about it untill 25 and got diagnosed. I also only suvived school and so on due to extremly supportive teachers. Started University very late and well ... put it on halt for a few years now and feel a bit like a failure. Now my own Mother, who didn't want to medicate me as a kid got diagnosed herself as well - ironic. Not having been treated caused me alot of suffering, loss of friends and wasted time & potential from just doing nothing or being unfocused. It was kind of scary when I got treatment and the fog cleared and I realized that everyone around me was feeling like this .. normal and were doing something with their lifes the whole time. Medication helps alot, believe me
I found this interesting at first. But when he got into brain functioning in children I was lost. I'm 52 just been diagnosed, I've always been responsible and thoughtful from a child up to now. This is the people pleaser aspect of my symptoms.🙂
Is there a people pleaser aspect of symptom. As that's what I am basically outside my home. I relate to being younger than the actual age but not in the way he says. I will give mature advice to people. I advice my 60 year old parents. My older brother too. So I relate to having knowledge but not applying on myself. I have been told by my superiors that I take accountability for my tasks etc. Although I work at 11th hour a lot in work too but just soemhow manage. But as there is daily accountability in my task I suffer less. On personal level I am a mess as I have no structure . I have lost money etc. Late bill payments etc. Procrastinated to level of just ending my life. But sometimes I feel like a teen although I am 30. Mental illness sucks as there are so many mis-diagnosis. All the times I have been diagnosed bipolar. But I feel like I have ADHD. As the meds for bipolar are not that effective.
I been diagnosed when I was 7 with really mild autism its been really really really really really really really really really awful I choose not to drive because it technically is a impairment and my doctor advised me not to and because I'm scared and know I won't like it I also didn't do well in school I have been out of school for 2 years and I haven't went to college yet because I know I won't be successful I have taken medicine for it but it causes really bad side effects the worst side effect I had was paranoia from aderall and it causes you to be really wired up and it looses your creativity
I have just been diagnosed at age 56. I always knew I was different and my whole life has been a struggle. I feel like my life has been a complete waste. If you even suspect you or someone you know may have adhd, please seek help! Now.
This video completely changed my mum's perception of how ADHD affects my brother's life, and even more than that actually convinced mum of something my teachers said when I was in primary school; that I have ADHD PI and it explains SO many of the failings in my life
This is very valuable knowledge. Guys. You. Are. Not. Alone. We are many and we should share our wisdom so that less lives get destroyed from not knowing about this.
Me too, I also consider myself a great driver, but that's because I enjoy driving. But if I do not enjoy it I quickly become a public hazard. If I have someone in the vehicle talking all the time I'm screwed.
Yes! Yes! Omg same here! This lady sped by me and cut me off approaching an intersection so fast that I almost rammed into the side walk where pedestrians were walking. My instincts allowed me to pull the wheel quick enough but not too hard as to safely get out of the way without going onto the sidewalk. I was SO SHAKEN by this my hands were trembling and I had to pull over and call 911 to report this driver. The 911 operator was very understanding and happy that I called to report. I know my ADHD instincts were to thank for this.
I actually don't agree with all.he says especially about driving I've never had a serious accident ...I drive well and thank God Ave avoided things like dogs cows who were right there in front of me .
I love this doctor! He does not sugar coat it, and presents the reality of having this developmental disorder. It's not fun or good to have ADHD. So happy to have found this man 💜 I have suffered and failed at relationships despite doing my level best. This information would have made a huge difference earlier in my life!
Well thats how it feels for us too, for me anyway. It's such a vicious cycle, many people deny that adhd is even a real thing. And then when we mess up it's still our fault and we "didn't try or want hard enough". Not to mention the stigma around it. Also, this is only a short clip of this doctor, you should watch the other ones as well, he is really trying to help.
it may sound that way from this short clip, short relative to the many hours he has spent educating people through these lectures-he does care, his brother passed away in a wreck, his brother had adhd
He's bringing awareness to the seriousness of ADHD so people know to take it seriously, rather than ignoring kids when they need help and telling them they're undisciplined idiots. This is part of a series. I'd recommend watching the other videos.
I struggled for years to implement CBT in my life to deal with my Bipolar Disorder. The moment I started taking proper medication, I was able to use CBT without even a second thought. Medication is a MUST and anyone trying to shame you for taking it is doing you a massive disservice.
the 30% rule might be for the average child, but what happens if you are more mature than the average child, a higher IQ and have a different psychological makeup where you work very hard? I am a hyperfocused type, excelled at school even while being neglected by parents in every way and made the dean's list into college. It wasn't until second year of college that I ran into problems which were mostly financial. I tend to be a from a hypercompetitive social background though where failure and laziness is not accepted. I tutored at 15 and babysat at 18 and was great at it. I even took care of my younger brothers despite my abusive parents...but I am also an half hour late to work every day, and takes me forever to take a shower or finish a news article and I never finished college. That's ADHD..it just doesnt sound like how he describes it
omg hey there. I hear ya. Those life circumstances either break you or make you grow up fast. I would hate to hear what he thinks about a 12 year old being solely responsible for the care of a new born .Some of us adapt even though we still struggle in other areas
Just wait until you get married and your responsibility greatly increases, this is where a huge struggle comes into play. Most don't make it, and divorce. That's a major fact.
I have ADHD and almost none of this happened with me. Seriously. I find this almost exactly the opposite of my life path. And I was unmediated. It was education, jobs, income and stress.
His statements are true. They are based on years of scientific research and study. His is considered the gold standard in the field. People with ADD are notoriously bad at self evaluation. Denial is not a river in Egypt.
@@alanberkeley7282 oh, noz! The bad man is paid by Big Pharma! ffs He's spent his entire career researching adhd. He understands the condition better than anyone else on the planet, and that is not hyperbole. The large companies who make adhd meds ask him questions and pick his brain in order to improve the efficacy of their medications. This is called consulting, and it is a common practice in many industries. It strikes me as a good idea to ask experts about things. Since he is not stupid, he charges them for his time... so yes, you are correct, he is indeed funded by big pharma. I hope he wrings every penny he can out of them, because he explains me to me, and that is priceless.
This is about ADHD. Not ADD. And they are partially true. I have ADHD but was left untreated until I was 23 (2 years ago. I was diagnosed as a kid but never told I had it until then). I know many successful people who have ADHD and some of the top entrepreneurs of the world have ADHD. When I was a kid and teen, I was one of the best readers in my class and was very advanced in terms of reading, spelling and vocabulary. We have abilities to hyperfocus on things and are often quite innovative and creative and can get so focused on things that we can at times do things like whip out a essay in a couple of hours. It is true that we can lose focus, especially with things we aren't interested in, and sometimes can forget things, but we can also remember things that other people would not be able to. Our long term memory especially can be good, and shorter term memory more difficult to deal with. People with ADHD also can be very social (this really depends on whether or not the person is introverted or extroverted), but they also sometimes have what I call a social battery, in which they can run out of social battery after awhile and be emotionally drained and then would in turn need time alone to recover and recharge. People paint ADHD with a single brush and only focus on the hyperactive "OH LOOK A SQUIRREL" stereotype, which can be harmful, because it is more complex than that and there are different types. Women in particular are less likely to be diagnosed because typically they present as the inattentive type of ADHD, and don't present as the typical loud, brash and interrupting type.
Consequences of untreated ADHD - I have restarted the intro to this video 4 times because I keep getting distracted and I miss the intro after I start playing it. Make that 4 times because I just realized I was writing this after I restarted it *sigh*
I find this grossly unfair to people with ADHD. People are individuals and this kind of approach forces people to choose either be on medication or be deprived of certain privileges such as learning to drive and have a vehicle. A persons individual merit and earned trust should determine those things. I have severe ADHD, I good driving record, a university education, got married, had children...found myself in an abusive marriage and had the strength to leave it and carry on with life. I was never promiscuous, never abused alcohol or drugs and have a very strong sense of self. I have struggled with short term memory, and that with anxiety was a nightmare. Fortunately my strength and problem solving skills got me through High School. It took me a lot of off and on attempts, but I ended up with a General Studies certificate and a BFA plus an accumulation of related study credits. I achieved a BFA without medication. It was immensely difficult but I did it. Now on medication, I feel a little ripped off admittedly. Life could have been easier. My education would have been higher as I had wanted to do a Masters and or PhD. My career path and income prospects would have been greatly improved with medication and support for ADHD and Autism. I'm also Autistic. Medication cannot change that and honestly, I love my Autistic characteristics. It's a very challenging combination, but it has its' gifts. The thought that my rights could be removed to pursue things like a drivers licence could based on a label rather than my individual performance, is very alarming. Yes, I've struggled. Yes, I could have benefited from early diagnosis and support, but I think it's really important to not end up on the wrong side of the line here. There is a line. After viewing two other lectures by Dr. Barkley, although there was a great deal of very informative and important information there, I find his attitude rather intense and old school. Spare the rod and spoil the child though not literal I know, that's how it came across to me. Essentially his talks are vividly black and white. The occasional semantic issue in there as I recall...fade out I would have go back and find those... but I sense this undertone I don't like. None of this will dissuade me from utilizing the good I've found in his studies, or from working back into things he mentioned along the way as supporting his ideas, but I feel strongly that caution is advised on recommendations such as medicate or you should not be allowed to drive. However well meaning. I've been hit by a car, my cousin and he boyfriend were killed in his vehicle by a drunk driver. I do take this seriously. Although he has a fair point, I really think that's a case by case situation that could be caught in Student Driver Training and A Drivers test. Possibly a doctors evaluation could be advised, but not as policy. Similarly, I believe that other factors can lead to teen pregnancy and other things mentioned here.I can only speak for myself regarding maturity. I was born old. I was always ahead of my peers in terms of maturity intellectually and despite regulatory issues, I had and still have a high emotional intelligence. Magic mix of ADHD and Autism perhaps. but there it is, Individuality and Neurodiversity is extremely important to recognize. I really wish I had had the help and support that I needed. I really do. It would have made my life far more productive and better not just for myself, but for those I interacted wtih..and my relationships with the ones I love most, a little better. But I didn't until now as a senior. Better late than never. Just at the point where the die off policy has kicked in for low income older folks deemed lazy and irresponsible for not putting enough money away andnot getting their CPP up to par. It's not hard to understand why Neurodivergent people commit suicide, but now that;s been made easier too. Instead of helping us live, it's easier for them to help us die. It's sick world. I will live as ling as I can as true to my self as I can. Good luck to us all.
fascinating comments and I agree; I've been watching some of this guy's videos and am part way thru his book 'Taking charge of Adult ADHD' and am very interested in his views but like you he has an uncomfortable black and white nature. I'm reading his hard and fast attitudes to medication. Alarm bells went off and It got me thinking whether or not he gets paid by the drug companies. Sure enough after doing some research from the National Library of Medication his website once stated that 8% of his income comes from a recognised ADHD meds pharma company! 🤷
I have just found out about Dr. Russell Barkley and am binge watching these videos now and it's fucking destroying me. Right now, while listening, I have literally 3 tabs open searching for professional psychological treatment facilities in germany after completely giving up on treatment 15 years ago (almost 30 years old now) because I was simply filled with the maximum dosage of adhd medication without any further treatment and losing all trust towards medical professionals as a result. This is giving me hope, this is rekindling a fire long extinguished that I could get better and do well in life if only proper treatment were to be applied to it. Thank you so much.
As an adult living with the (life-crushing) consequences of long-term incompetently treated ADHD- parents please, please listen to everything this doc says (in this video and other videos by him). His work in ADHD research is extraordinary. Trust me, especially if you don't know first hand what living with ADHD is like. This is the road map your kids need and deserve. Listen and then follow through- I wish someone had done it for me when I was young. I'm trying to do it for myself now- but there's a lot of fall out and so much has been lost over the years. If TH-cam hadn't recommended Dr. Barkley and his work- all might be lost, but I'm finally moving forward. Everything your kids hope to achieve and to become- the foundation they need to build a future, their potential and right to freedom and happiness depend on it. They don't have a chance without this type of informed and compassionate treatment. Not one chance. Listen and follow through- it's the most supportive and loving thing a parent can do for a kid with ADHD.
With driving I didn't get my license until 19. My parents knew I had Adhd, and I still do, and took longer with me to teach me. My dad was an driving instructor and taught me to the point were I am quite good at keeping aware of what goes on around me.
I am ADHD. I was diagnosed at 3 then again at 30. I agree with what is said here. However... I also use to drive DISTRACTED, I would start my car, and once I was driving, start looking for something like my phone or a cigarette or my lighter which usually meant feeling through my purse. Then one day, it dawned on me, that I had a 3,000 pound weapon,and if a child were to run out in front of me, or a dog, a cat, anything living. I would hit it because I wouldn't be able to respond. The thought of killing a child and going to prison, my whole then future flashed in my mind. My life would be over. From that day I was 10 and 2, both hands on the wheel, to this day. I don't drive without both eyes on the road. And I refuse to look at my phone. It is something I refuse to make an exception for. And I go the speed limit. But it definitely exhausts me mentally. Oh and about the age. Technically I have never been this AGE before. So ofcourse I don't know how to act it! Lol
I had undiagnosed ADHD I’m 26 and I believe my mental age is 19 I’ve suffered and been through so much. I’ve lost the love of my life due to my actions, she now hates me and is taking me to court. I have a child that now resents me down to her mothers actions towards me. I hate it so much and no matter how hard I try to tell people I get no help. I have no one to support me and I’m dealing with it all alone! I hope I get out this mindset and I know what I want and that is my daughter and my ex partner. They are all I want but it’s never gonna happen because of my stupid undiagnosed ADHD 😢😢😢😢😢
@@kieranbaker2855 sorry to hear bro, i hope it get's better for you. have u been diagnosed yet? i know how truly difficult life can be with untreated ADHD, struggling too
Thank you for this informative video! TIL: the executive functioning and self control of a person with adhd is about 30% behind the neurotypical population - a 21 year old with adhd acts like they’re 14. This leads to a lot of risky and dangerous behavior unless the environment is structured around the person’s executive age, not their chronological age.
This man is a clinical psychologist- the most cited clinical psychologist when it comes to the study of ADHD. You don’t think he would consider gender and social influences? He has. You can watch his other videos on the gender differences in adhd. You can disagree all you want but you’re not qualified to lol
I can say that going on 40 years with untreated ADHD, having fallen through the cracks of the system to a point where help is no longer possible, and you are so low on nutrients because you can't afford more, is a waking nightmare. Treatment is awesome, when you can get it where you live. But, the reality is that the odds of starving to death are greater than actually getting help in these back-water northern Ontario towns.
I was with him until he said 14 year olds shouldn’t babysit. I babysat at 14-a lot. Not all people with adhd are baby killers!! And what about the fact that being treated as younger than your age actually really hurts! I was always told I was mature for my age. I would have really benefitted from wayyyy more support in college though. I went to an Ivy League school that didn’t give two sh!ts about its students’ well being. I was diagnosed at 16 but never tried to get services until college. I went to the disability office and the woman said she was supposed to have retired but they couldn’t find a replacement. Then I missed the meeting where I was supposed to sign up for classes so I had to meet with the Dean. A few other students were in the same boat. We were really berated. “What a terrible way to start off the semester.” I was burnt out from high school and college was worse from the beginning! I ended up failing two classes (I passed the hardest one, thanks hyperfocus). They made me take a year off. When I asked why, their answer literally was “we don’t know, it usually works.” I had to basically reapply to get back in after the year. Nothing had really changed, I just had more anxiety about not being perfect.
I'll be 50 next year, and I'm just starting to realise that I may have ADHD. I'm looking to get formally assessed. I tried so hard to continue my education, but just found organising myself and concentrating and meeting deadlines so difficult. I did end up with enough credits for half an Honours degree, but I couldn't keep all the plates in my life spinning at once.
At least one comment I've seen stated that this doesn't seem to apply to the inattentive type, mainly in women, and I gotta say I completely disagree. I was the overachiever, masking into functionality, and truly relying on external structure for my success without realizing it for nearly thirty years. All of what he is saying resonates with my lived experience, ESPECIALLY since the pandemic hit and everyone's routine got interrupted. Extended isolation removed all of the crutches and coping mechanisms I'd built up around an external framework for my whole life.
Dr Barkley is great, with a very well researched background in ADHD and also in Adults. I have later diagnosed add, could you add some balloons and sound effects? Maybe a highlight video for us that have a very hard time sitting through these wonderful excerpts?! hahaha
Told a friend about this video, especially the 30% and she seemed sceptical. She's not ADHD. Makes total sense to me. Dr Russ helping me navigate my brain more than I dared hope. If you ever see this then thank you. 🙂👏👏
I managed to graduate college, after 3 attempts, at the age of 33. I used to set a timer for 4 minutes and every time it went off I would be jolted back to getting back on task. Whoops, I wandered off again. Fucking grueling way to work. My teachers were so confused as to why I was so clever in class but dogshit at completing the work. I would get so frustrated I would cry. And then there was that time I forgot to go to the final exam.. people don’t understand
Just recently my husband was diagnosed and this video is explaining me why he drives so badly. He always hit the breaks when the car is too close to the other one, if the radio is on or if he is talking to me, the driving get bad, very close to have accidents. He got his driving license very young and had many accidents until he reached his thirties.
Untreated adhd turned me into a self medicating adolescent and adult. I also went to a bad school. Now i can’t keep a job, dropped out of college, had many car accidents myself, i just feel so stifled and no one will take me seriously bc i self medicated with drugs and food.
I was diagnosed with adhd at a very young age. Everything this man said is me except for driving.. I've always been cautious. I was put on medication when I was a child and it traumatized me as it changed my personality drastically, I became very angry and quiet. None of my friends wanted to be around me. Yes it helped with school but I hated what it made me and yes I tried many different kinds. I wish it helped like it has to others but I have learned to manage on my own. My highest education is high school and I cannot stand when people look down on me for that. You have no idea how hard school is for us.
How different my life could've been if I'd seen this in 2009/10 and could sit down and show it to my family.. They (and myself to some degree) don't know where my ADHD ends and my personality begins....
Im a great driver too. But that is more of a reaction time thing. I get lost. If someone is talking to me...my driving goes to shit. My friend says I drive like im trolling for crack. 😂
It’s helpful to remember he’s talking about statistics here. These are the issues that affect people with adhd more than they affect others. But they aren’t the only factor. Individuals with adhd vary soo much for so many different reasons. Many people go undiagnosed because they manage to compensate for their disorder- women tend to mask their behavior more than men, and people with high intelligence are often able to create strategies which mask their symptoms as well.
As a parent, the Drs never educated me as a parent. Now seeing this I know I should have held my son back and could have asked or made accommodations in his learning. But definitely good stuff. Will share.
When I started to read about mental illnesses, I thought how scarily accurate were posts and comics about anxiety and depression were for me. So I got diagnosed and yeah, turns out I have anxiety with depression episodes. I was reading about ADHD too, but it didn´t bother me until August of 2020 when my friend told me I have an ADHD energy, so I started to think about that more and compare every post, video and meme about ADHD to myself and sure, almost everything is accurate too, so now I have to wait until lockdown in my country is over and Im gonna get myself diagnosed.
I'm going for a formal assessment after five years of trying to convince child services that I was really trying. Realizing my mental age was 12 and not 17 when I had my first..... oh dear, it explains so much.
I'm 51 and have just been diagnosed with adhd, I've been a alcoholic for most of my adult years drank enormous amounts for 10 years until I blacked out. I have not had a drink for 6 years but since then people have noticed and myself included that I'm all over the place. I talk over the top of people I but in, I spend too much I don't think before I act, I'm impulsive. My life before when I was drinking, I use to split up with boyfriends every month or so and then go back, I'd go from one boyfriend to another. Sexually promiscuous in my younger years, very faithful now and I've been married for 16 years, I'm grateful I have a very patient husband who loves me dearly.
I know a number of people with ADHD that have no trouble driving. If someone told me I could not have a driver license because i had ADHD I would never admit I had it.
I disagree with being required to take meds to drive. I'm 71 yrs. old with ADHD no tickets or accidents. Using fear to force medications to drive a car?
Diagnosed with severe ADHD combined at 48. I have never had difficulty with driving, tickets, or accidents. Thank goodness my parents didn't treat me as a child like I was 30% younger or I would never have graduated high school or college. I appreciate this doctor's sense of urgency and seriousness, but I do not appreciate the way in which he paints folks with ADHD as if they are a danger to themselves because I just do not think it is true for a whole lot of us.
I looked at the DSM and I have ADHD, and do you know what? I don't. I also if you believe the DSM have ODD, OCD and Major Depression and Sluggish Cognitive Tempo which Barkley is trying to get in there. He also got a woman sacked who said too many kids were being diagnosed with ADHD and drugged. Eli Lilly are funding the research into SCT, by Barkley, so guess what happens, more kids are drugged without looking at the root causes of their problems, and who cashes in? Barkley and Lilly. The losers are kids who are being poisoned. Hitler was passionate as well. So was Stalin. Your point?
His own brother died because of an accident while he wasn't on his medication. I can bet that he cares because he is personally connected. You can look up the dsm, but he has many years of intense research and scientific tests about adhd...
I told my parents I wasn’t ready to drive. I cried and told them I didn’t feel old enough. I literally told them I should wait until I’m 18. But I am the oldest child and my grandparents were deteriorating... 😔
I love this dr . Listening to his lecture improved my performance 15% within a week without med. however, not all ADHD struggle with education or Driving. I also last in the relationship long.
I’d been diagnosed for 10 years with GAD and depression. I almost failed out of middle- and high-school multiple times. Had to take 2 years off after school before going to community college while friends graduated from universities. Dropped 2 different college programs before finally finding something I could stick with, which was not where I thought I’d be at all. I’ve had over a dozen career changes in that same time period. Probably the same amount of relationships. And to think my high-school teachers, counselors, and even my parents laughed when I brought ADHD up. I was two hours into a lengthy clinical screening when my psychiatrist said he had seen pretty much all he needed to see. At age 28. I hate how few people -genuinely- understand ADHD to this degree, and dismiss it based on their own ignorance.
Am 53 with ADHD, still waiting my diagnosus and treatment. French and living in Spain, very slow here. I love driving, drive for 10 years in England and 10 years in Spain. I was very focused when driving because I love it!!!
Experts making these statements are very shortsighted. After being Diagnosed and medicated I got divorced, lost my job, friends and all my possesions. Before that i became a Principal of a school. was married for 26 years. Own 2 properties and were well respected and had some friends. Diagnosed at 53 because of a panic attack after being attack at school by a pupil. So if people know you are ADHD you suddenly become all the things mentioned in the video. This means according to common believe, you have no choice in the matter. I beg to differ.
Sir Please ignore this doctor always hear a second third fourth opinion of many doctors before making a decision visit dr ameen just search it up on TH-cam
Great talk. I had some doubts about this point though. He said there are “legal Cases of people in their late teens and 20s who have killed babies out of anger, out of impatience, out of immaturity, out of not knowing what to do when the baby got upset and then their emotions came to the forefront”. That literally made it seem like people with ADHD can kill. Is this an extreme case of ADHD? Could the emotional regulation be that impaired?
I have severe ADHD, but I'm in college studying Biomedical Science with A's in most of my classes, I've never had a ticket, I can control my emotions, I'm certainly more mature than a number of my peers. I don't have people check up on me, and I don't take meds. I don't engage in risky sexual behaviors, and I've never taken drugs. I understand what he is trying to say, but it sounds like he's calling me, personally, stupid.
You might have self control in some of the right areas, I have ADHD (undiagnosed, but looks and sounds like it), and I wasn't getting into eccsessive sexual activity with other people, and I'm not bad with money( I'm not great, but not bad). I think in each are of our life there is a continuum in which the disorder effects us, some high, some low.
I wish you were still in practice. You are the only person in the Washington/Oregon area that actually gets it. One professional has diagnosed me as the textbook case in my 30's. My life could have been saved if diagnosed earlier. After moving and losing my private insurance. Now having to rely on state insurance due to my ADHD severity I cannot leave the house, nor work and sadly am unable to really function. I pray perhaps another professional will see my story and perhaps save the last of the life I have. I pray that one day I can go back to work making a difference in the world working with people with the need of my care. And truly to give my son a life and mother he deserves. Perhaps someone can answer why professionals are so blind to ADHD but do quick to diagnose as PTSD, anxiety, depression or trauma? Why can't they look past and see the true underlying condition?
Medications ruin me as a person, but makes me the person everyone else wished I was but it makes me a person I hate. I care about how I feel more than how you feel about me.
i understand what you mean. but prolly you can do work/chores/responsibilites without them then. some cant and get into a big TROUBLE. so if you can manage your life good, nobody forces for you to take them. for some medicine literally is life-saving. so its good to have the possibility.
Let me provide a cautionary tale of what might happen if things don't all go right. .. If you have anything approaching a severe case of adhd, you may someday find yourself living an irreparable fucked up life and hating yourself for being the architect of your own purgatory. Consequences creep up slow and possibly the most insidious part of adhd is how it impairs your ability to accurately perceive the future.
![[TH]FFWS SEA Spring 2024 Knockout Stage - Day 18](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/IfsyX-nCiZQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Shout out the fellow ADHD'er shouting out "Is there a pill for that?'". That was hilarious.
?
@@petemiller9404 2:08 a man shouts "is there a pill for that" in regards to how ADHD affects finances. I got a feeling brother has ADHD himself.
Wasn't it though XD
That guy is my spirit animal.
@@FierceBombshell Or, he might be married to one of us who has not learned this lesson.
As someone who got diagnosed at 42 years with ADHD after being treated 15 years for depression, this broke my heart. I may have been able to make my marriage work, better mother my kids, finish college and build a successful career had I been medicated 20 years earlier.
may people with ADHD feel the same, don't dwell on your past, this is who you are, you are different and amazing, your brain works differently.
Awwwwwww I Know it's very hurtful to find out you had a disorder later in life
I can say "don't dwell," but since im also dwelling on my own stolen life at 35, i won't. All i will say is TALK. Find someone, call someone, type, anything to get your dangerous thoughts out. Once they are out and known by people who want to help, you will feel better.
I'm 54. Afraid to get tested. How many years have I wasted.
@@paulbeaney4901 i feel robbed as well but I’m younger. I feel so misunderstood.
As much as I appreciate his work on increasing awareness, I feel like talks like this do a disservice to the many of us who have ADHD combined with high IQ/high functioning and have therefore escaped diagnosis for a long time, often well into adulthood, by coming up with various coping mechanisms to compensate during studies etc. This is especially the case for women. For those of us in this category, it's so hard to get a diagnosis because we appear to be "successful" and well-adjusted -- even when it's clear that our coping mechanisms are the only reason for this and that our daily life is basically chaos otherwise, that our hypersensitivity and emotional reactivity (another hallmark ADHD characteristic) makes our life unnecessarily hard on so many levels, etc.
Bingo! While I love and appreciate his work it is definitely more geared towards the stereotypical hyperactive and male version of ADHD. Not addressing the Inattentive version as much or female masking due to societal expectations. Of course, these talks are old. There's been way more research in these areas since 2009.
Wow. What a comment. Thank you. I’m 38 next week. I earn in the top 1%, I’m smart, run a business - not what he describes in the beginning. It’s only now a few years off of 40 that I am really struggling. I’m interested to know more from people like you.
I am 54 years old and just discovered that I am ADHD. Sure could have used all of this information a very long time ago!
@@katjo71367 thanks for sharing. Serious question, didn’t you ever have a melt down, or flashpoint where some symptoms became such a problem that you needed help to the point you could have been diagnosed sooner?
@@cigall sorry, I should have been clear. I’m male. Not sure how different the symptoms are… but I’m more gobsmacked by the impact of the symptoms bearing in mind this can go undetected for so long! I feel like I’ve got on with life until the last few years and since, my mind has been nuked. It’s bizarre. Thanks for the response.
I have severe ADHD and it has completly ruined my life. This man is absolutely right. I have always felt half my age and wondered why there is a discrepancy with how I think and how I act. Enter the reality of the "executive level" - and usually ADHD sufferers tend to be half their biological age in this regard.
@@alanberkeley7282 Fuck off
I empathise a-sheep
People are always telling me how I look much younger than my age. Well, duh, I'm not really this old after all.
@@alanberkeley7282 I feel better after listening to Barkley.
@s-sheep of-Christ, I will never pretend to have all the answers, but I will never believe that we are here to lead insufferable lives forever.
I am a 26-year-old who was recently diagnosed with ADHD. This video made me cry. This video is like receiving a psychic reading on steroids
Similar story here. ADHD taken care of (meds + psychotherapy) for 3 months now, and this video helps me stay on course (i,e. what could happen if I did not take my condition seriously.)
At least you know and can actively try and manage it, it will not be easy, and the best you can hope for is management.
It's okay to cry but be hopeful that life will get easier for you with medications and lifestyle changes.
Brilliant. I'm 60 years of age and was diagnosed with ADHD 5 years ago. Russell is describing me perfectly. I was like a lunatic behind the wheel. Alcoholism. Sober since 95. 👍♥️🇬🇧✝️
I'm 61 and it was only since going into recovery that it was suggested I look at ADHD - what I read was astounding - it was me totally. One hell of a relief - but also sad as well. Fortunately, I have a large and supportive family and friends especially since being in recovery. No wonder I took to alcohol to calm my racing head! I wish you well my friend, both in ADHD and with recovery. I'm currently in the process of obtaining a diagnosis.
I've been wondering about this, do you think alcoholism is connect to having ADHD?
@@jeffreyl5151 most definitely
I dropped out of college at 19 after a suicide attempt from being overwhelmed. I had no idea I had ADHD then. Listening to how a campus could be redesigned for people with ADHD makes me sad that those options were not available to me. Now, in 2020, they still are not.
Sorry to hear about your mental issues, but the world isn't meant to cater to you or your disorders.
If you are comfortable sharing , how has life been after that
Did you get employment? Start Family?
I know you wrote this a year ago but thanks for sharing. I just wrote my suicide note for the first time a few days ago and I've just started my masters after getting unfairly dismissed without accommodation from a job, amongst a lot of other really difficult things this. Also out of my adhd meds and can't get any for a while. It hurts because people really don't understand how literally disabling this can be, and how frustrating it is that this world isn't accessible even to those without neurological differences. I hope it gets easier one day.
I failed out in the first year. I was treated like I was deliberately failing because of a moral deficit. I was immediately given up on and dismissed. I have to come back home and my mom threatened to kick me out constantly. I'm 36 and I'm still suffering the impact even though I am successful now.
Go back. I am going back to college and i am going to make it this time because now I know my problem.
Not only do I Feel like I’m 20 years behind. It really is that way, 😕. It hurts to see people 20 years younger than me who have achieved more in half the time.
😭 I’m at the same position in my life. Feel useless and way behind than everyone else my age. I’ve done fairly well anyways but now with chronic health issues on top, it’s extremely difficult. Pushing through though.
Same 😟. I feel like untreated ADHD ruined my life...
100% ... Friends are buying homes, having kids, becoming Snr XYZ... I've realised that in working for 15y, I have little to show for it..
@@mchl252 totally agree..... :_(
Oh my gosh yes!! I feel so broken sometimes!!
While I agree with the driving thing in general, a lot of ADHD people (myself included) actually hyperfocus on driving and are excellent drivers in the right conditions. However I do not deal well with distractions within the vehicle itself - other people being loud or distracting in the passenger seat etc. I also ensure I wait until the road ahead is clear and there is a wide gap between myself and the next car before attempting anything like adjusting the stereo or satnav.
Also actually learning to drive was incredibly hard before I could consolidate the multiple tasks required while driving (changing gear, pedals, mirrors, steering, other controls) into the single task of simply driving. I should also point out I only started learning to drive at the age of around 32, so had a much better attitude towards it than say, a 16yr old might do.
very good point!! best wishes!!
I think we can be good or better drivers, the hyper focus required can be exhausting.
Your comment made both laugh *and* cringe. I refuse to drive without medication, especially with my spouse or kids in the car. An exception is for a quick trip to the market. As the "on meds" version of me... I agree. The unmedicated version... Have you ever passed another car on the shoulder? On a highway? Performed a high-speed 180 in a pick-up truck? Impulsivenes.
ADHD doesn't make ANYONE a better driver, medicated notwhitstanding (even though we drive much better that way).
I am currently being diagnosed with ADHD but when it comes to driving I am totally aware of my surroundings. But what does bother me is having the wipers, the radio, turn indicator all going simultaneously. I can't deal with that.
there is such thing as hyperfocused ADHD. there are several different types of ADHD. That's what makes treating this disorder so much more complicated than it seems.
Not too long ago, the stuff this guy said would have made me angry. However, looking back on my childhood, yeah I just wasn't keeping up with the other kids on a functional level. I learned everything they learned and in some ways was more advanced than my peers, just not in ways that mattered for actually functioning. Since I was 14 my mom just expected me to "get it" and manage all my own stuff while she focused entirely on her own personal life. Then she threw me out on my 18th birthday, which according to this guy is like throwing a 13 year old onto the streets, which is honestly what it felt like. I had no idea how to function and started getting involved with criminals. Luckily I had other family members who were willing to help me and get me on a better path. Still everything was a struggle but I achieved a lot with their help. I got diagnosed last year at 32 and just started medication and therapy a couple months ago. For the first time, I feel like my needs are being met, I can maintain friendships, and most importantly I feel like I actually have a future.
It just scares me to every go off them again for any reason
"just do it"... F that... Recently I described ADHD like this to my Mom "If you take a 30year old who can't swim, and throw them in the pool, it doesn't matter how many times you should at them to "just swim!" , they simply will not get it...
He definitely gives it unvarnished. I'm over taking that personally, personally. The guy is a massive asset to the community, whether t he says things in a way that soothes or one that inflames.
I relate to your experiences. Glad life is better for you now.
My 40 self is so sad for my younger undiagnosed self who just thought, and was told, I was lazy. And thinking of what I could’ve accomplished if my parents had known.
Me too
I just drive stick shift... keeps me 100% focused!
I could never drive a stick with my ADHD, my mind drifts too bad...while I drive.
Same, i only learned less than two years ago, and i find driving so much more engaging that way
Except I occasionally forget to shift
I used to not even have the radio on or let anyone talk to me basically all I could focus on was driving. I have definitely had accidents when I am anxious or something but that’s true for anyone.
I think the fact that we are aware we are more easily distracted makes us more cautious.... that’s the case for me.
For those who think the meds change your personality. It’s not your personality that’s changing but the jumping off the walls and the fidgeting a lot of adhd people have. It is calming that down and it’s causing confusion. If you feel like a zombie the dose is to high.
Also everyone changes a little as they get older.
My son said the same thing feeling like a zombie, had no desire to go out socially. Have you adjusted to the right dose that you no longer feel this way? Are you on the ADHD drugs constantly ?
Holy shit this is on point. I never finished highschool, crashed my car and lost my license for 1 year. Bad with money, got social problems. Risky sexual activity.
Same here. im seeking help now
At least your getting some. 😁
@@bengrimm622 im married now so its over haha
This is a message for all parents who are in denial about their child's ADHD. This doesn't happen all of the time, but it CAN & DOES happen. So if your child's teacher or doctor suggests an evaluation, swallow your pride, detach yourself from your emotions, & heed their advice.
I dropped out of highschool because I was depressed (which i believe had to do with the fact I never had any idea what was going on because of my focus issues) and got diagnosed with adhd 6 years later. That diagnosis and medication has changed my life. I'm going back to school, and although it's still very difficult, I know why I struggle and have help to deal with things.
Just knowing does give you the room to give yourself some grace. And it really does help to change your perspective and thus your life.
well that 30% thing rings true.
im 38. just got passed my assesment.
always felt like i never grew past the age of 20 ish.
I feel like I have stayed in my 20’s too! I never knew it was an ADHD
@Scott i live in the UK.
theres zero help for ADHD here.
they just want you to pop pills and feel "better"
@Scott What’s the difference between Concerta and Adderral?
@Scott Adderrall has an extended release and a regular. But, maybe concerts is even slower?
@pomegranateorange Is it childish being optimistic, happy, playful, don't take yourself too serious, forgive and forget quickly, love people? Or is it like you still can't read lol? ADHD people are usually optimistic, chatty, good in dynamic environment and in careers they love. Not only I don't feel my age, I also don't look my age, because I don't buy that bs.,,, People get pissed how fast I get good at new things, with ease. The danger there is that ADHD makes me get bored quickly with everything new, I need the next good thing. If you manage to stick to one thing long enough, you can be very successful even if you have ADHD.
I'm 45 years old and just received my ADHD diagnosis a couple of months ago. Mine is not even "severe", not as severe as some people I know, but it's been incredibly destructive nonetheless. I've been to university 3 times and left with nothing to show for it but a pile of debt. I bought the cheapest car I could afford when I was in 28 and I'm still driving the same one because I can't afford to change it--it's falling apart, and it's not safe, but what can I do?
I am very intelligent, I'm articulate, I have so many talents, my superpower is that I learn very quickly and can teach myself almost anything. But I haven't been able to do anything with myself because (1) I am unable to sustain anything for the long term (2) all my time, energy, resources, money go towards paying off mistakes I made in the past or putting out fires that happened as a result of my ADHD. I have no idea how I will ever get ahead of it and make something of myself. It is devastating. Please, if you are young and just received a diagnosis, or if you are a parent of a child who has ADHD, please please take this seriously and get the appropriate treatment.
Man that 2nd paragraph hit me as so relatable. Even though I just got diagnosed at 25 and am taking medication, I feel so listless and unmotivated to do anything with my life.
@@ahmedmahay That second paragraph hit me too! I wrote a book about recovery (51,000 words), but am unnable to finish it, because the thrill and the challenge has gone. Unmotivated and listless - yep. I had an assessment for ADHD - I'm in the UK and now have to wait 6 - 8 months for a diagnosis. Like the author above, I love the challenge of learning how to do something - then get bored
I do appreciate your last words! My daughter is 13 and soon Will start the medication. I was scared but now I see the consequences of not medicating ...I cannot run the risk.
Thanks a lot😊
Wish I was diagnosed as a child but as an adult I'm thankful to understand my brain and life struggles better. It's frustrating when people say it's not real, but to anyone who has it we know it's real! Hang in there!
As a student and an eldest child I had many high expectations placed on me. I was always a high achiever in elementary school but once I had to take more responsibility of my work in middle and high school, everything slipped through my fingers. At home I was expected to be a leader and act like a parent. I always struggled emotionally when the stress of babysitting my siblings (which I have five of) got to me and usually manifested in rage or bursting into tears. The expectations at home and school were far beyond my ability and there was no one to help me. I'm going to college soon and how I turn out change drastically change the future of my siblings but to be successful I need the right help.
I hope to get a diagnosis within this year but my parents don't believe it is possible for me to have ADHD. They believe that only people with super obvious symptoms during childhood can have it. My younger sister is also autistic and non verbal, I want to change there view on neurodivergence for the both of us.
I am a high functioning ADHD with a very high IQ. but I am 43 years old and I have a burn out from my life. I am not behind in age or intelligence. I never wanted kids, I don’t have drivers license. But it’s the daily stress and struggle to function on my level that is literally killing me .
The high functioning part is the rub. Where we are seen to be managing well we are dismissed as not needing support at all. It's worth advocating for yourself to get tested and diagnosed. My 22 year old daughter recognised herself, aged 19, in child development for her psychology degree. She paid for an educational psychologist to do an assessment but hasn't been able to access proper support in Britain without a formal diagnosis. She got that right before Christmas after 2 years of waiting. She feels relieved that she really isn't a failure for not completing her degree. She's been referred for medication but that waiting list is 6 months. Once medication is sorted she will be flying academically, or so she was told by the psychiatrist.
Having medication or not, once you have a formal diagnosis disability law kicks in and accommodations have to be made for you by employers. You'll also be able to access any other support measures so that you aren't doing it all alone.
I'm 60 and my daughter is convinced that I have it. I do have recognised ptsd. Being high functioning I've had to fight to get support for that. No one can live out of an emotional energy vacuum. It's worth fighting for support.
Diagnosed at 61. I have adhd and depression burnout. Glad I Know why I'm where I am, but why didn't my doctor of 40 yrs never send me for a diagnosis? It's killing me too. 😢
this is me at 33
I'm 60 with a 145 IQ and ADHD. Adderall helps.
I was diagnosed at 38. I was given Adderall and told I was cured. I'm smart and driven so I thought I now had inattentive part under control. However, no one ever talked to me about it being a disorder or to look out for difficulties accompanying ADHD. It wasn't until a year ago that I heard about "Executive dysfunction."
My life at 58 is in ruins. I can see no future except continuing to being unemployed and living with my 80 year old parents.
Please, please, please do the research necessary to get control of your disorder. You don't want to end up like me. No one would want to be me.
WOW! this man talks sense, I identify so much with what he is saying. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the Maudsley hospital in London last November, they use the Barkley scale. I'm a 57 year old man, it's answered a lot of questions for me
Results of untreated ADHD? Prison, low-paying dead end job, or unemployed artist. Take your pick
ie.. lower quality of life...
legit
Shady lawyer?
Is that your final offer or can I see another lawyer?😁
im unemployed artist lol.(like frreal)
I was one of the kids that had crippling adhd. But because i was "smart," it was overlooked. That oversight has had disastrous consequences for me.
Same struggling at the moment so I’m trying to unstuck myself to no avail
good god same, but coupled with living in a third world conservative nation and the idea of getting diagnosis is heavily stigmatized
Listening to this and sobbing because me.
Don't despair, bae, there's always help available.
I'm sobbing because so many people are conned by this big pharma puppet and can't see it
Emily Drum if you mean, crying and sobbing because you realise how awesome and how much infinite value you are to the world, then, yeah, carry on, I agree
Same- I was diagnosed as a child, but my caregiver said, " no, God will cure her no treatment is needed" I'm still suffering the consequences as an adult
@@alanberkeley7282 everything he is saying is completely spot on. meds have changed my life.
I believe I have ADD. I’ve withdrawn from three semesters of university, this semester included. I tried very hard to just sit in the classes and learn and pay attention. After two weeks of going to every class and doing all the work, I became extremely ill. I lost taste, developed migraines, slept 18 hours at a time several days for a month, and more symptoms. I felt like I was dying, and doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me, and this isn’t the first time that after two weeks of trying the classes I fell extremely ill.
Hang in there
You might want to look into ASD as well-- severe exhaustion and migraines can be symptoms of sensory overwhelm
Did you have high pressure in your head? Problems with sight?
Sorry for your struggle, I hope,things are better for you. 🙏
Honestly, I did better in university because I would research all of my professors on rate my professors and chose professors who were understanding about late assignments and highly passionate about what they taught. I didn’t know I had adhd but I was already setting up workarounds. I don’t believe I would have graduated if I hadn’t done my degree on one of my hyper fixations though.
Solid family life with structured days and clear, achievable expectations, along with meds, and faithful homeschooling has saved my 13 yo son. Customizing his education, one on one time, working at his pace, which is variable depending on the subject. It's been incredible for him academically, emotionally and also for our relationship, which will be the most important thing to keep intact through adolescence. I highly recommend homeschool for ADHD if you can swing it.
I have been listening and educating myself with different doctors on this subject. I have found a few that I like, But you are straight to the point! I am so thankful to find your knowledge. Thank you!
I have ADHD, and taught myself how to self regulate, but it was an arduous journey. As a child, I had great difficulty staying on task, I was in almost constant trouble at school. There were incidences of violence on my peers when I was first in school, K through 3rd grade. I was in fights in Kindergarten. In first grade, my friend and I were accosted by 5th graders who tried to bully me into giving over my lunch money. My friend and I beat the older kids up to such a degree that we were both expelled from school. In second grade, during the first recess, I was climbing a dome style monkey bars with my jump rope in my hand. When I neared the top, there were two of the most annoying girls in my class sitting on top, and when they noticed me climbing toward their vicinity, they began to chastise and make fun of me. As I got closer, one of the girls said something to her friend, and then swung down and dropped down to the ground and skipped away to the door of the school. The remaining girl stayed on the bars, with her focus trained on me. She said something which made me angry, and she started to climb through the top of the bars, like her friend did a minute earlier. I grabbed my rope, and put a loop in it and threw it over her head as she was dropping down. At the same time as she was dropping from the height, I was dropping through with the other end of the rope tightly in my hands. Right at that moment, a teacher walked around the corner of the building & saw what was happening. I dropped my end of the rope. There were more incidents like the things I just mentioned following, in subsequent years.
The school district would not let my parents enroll me into any schools until I was in the counseling of a child psychologist. I also attended several sessions of child psychiatry at a place named Child Behavoral Services. They were mean to me there.
As I got older, I got into. Martial arts, and excelled there. At the same time as the beginning of my martial arts training, my Dad would make me do an excercise in which I was forced to do stare at an orange, which he would put at the center of the dining room table. I would have to stare at the orange for 15 minutes, without distraction.
After some time , my mental functions were much better, I did much better in school, and became a voracious reader of Stephen King novels like "The Stand".
I did finish high school, and attended some college, met a girl, fell in love, got married, and then it all fell apart. I began to lose focus,. Started using drugs and alcohol,
started being a womanizer, dropped out of college, got divorced , and fell apart. I got several good paying jobs, but would lose them from not showing up. This went on and on for several years, but I regained control of my life, met another girl, got married again, had a son, was very focused on my new family and my job. A year and a half later, my wife started doing bad things, drugging, and sleeping around, A LOT. My life once again spiraled out of control. I started using amphetamines, to try to gain control over my brain. It worked. I got a good job at a facility where I am able to work without supervision, and able to do my own things when I want to
I am still on the amphetamines, and going strong. I have now been the longest job I have ever held, and with a woman I love for 10 years. My son is grown up, and happy. I am happy.
You & me both J.G......you pretty much just told my story! Almost to the last detail 👍
Good luck brother 🙏✌❤🏴
Does adhd cause one to be always late and postpone things and not focus well in school t the point where sometimes he reads or listens to the teacher but finds it harder to process the information as quickly as before cause his mind is focused on the idea of being distracted ? sort of an OCD within ADHD..like doing it on purpose yet no control over it
@@dobie6929 It does.
@@NalinS any way to cure it ?
@@dobie6929 Medication and meditation.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50. I am sporadic and i have trouble staying focused. I have been married 37 years old, and I have great friends. I am a good driver, and I have a good credit rating with a large savings account. I am not sure if I am a miracle or what? I graduated college with a 3.7 GPA,. My syllabus in college was my executive functioning device. Our three children are educated and doing well. My diagnostic psychologist was amazing. Without the extra fifty percent time on exams in math only I could have never earned my degree. I was abused as a child probably because of the stress that my ADHD behavior created.
Bumpride rolling I'm not even 30 and I have nearly all the problems he talks about. And I'm officially gifted, so it's not about my intelligence. I don't even have a driving license, because I'm already a danger to others and myself when on a bike, forget the car...
I understand. When I was in my 20's, had lost both parents in 5 months, was in an abusive relationship and had just had my first child at 24, my anxiety driven ADHD and ADD was causing me not to stay focused. I had three accidents in less than a month. I had two of the wrecks in one week. I finally manged to get control of my life largely through my higher power and a strong drive to never give up. I read self-help books, and minored in psychology in college.
Ignore that comment if it shows up in your notifications. TH-cam has been all scrambled for me
@@bumpriderolling9158 shit man I'm sorry about ur parents. I know how you feel. Dude if you believe in god pretty sure you have questions of why he is a piece of dog shit
Its not a miracle its just you faced and overcame the struggle and i respect and admire you. 💜💙
He nailed me on everything on *except* the driving. I'm an extremely good driver.
I pick my sexual partners *V E R Y C A R E F U L Y* but once in a relationship I'm more physical than anything.
However, I was an ugly duckling in my youth. Once I hit my twenties I was the one being pursued. But my relationships suffered. Still do.
Lol yes it's a bit easier to escape the impulsive sexuality when you have... let's call it a visually evident productive adaptation... and opportunities are scarce 😅
As a ADHDer, I had a lot of the impulsivity, so always wanted to finish school stuff fast. I never took homework home. I have very little focus, but I had to think fast. So in those moment of focus I would remember what I needed to remember. I also feel I have a mild case of OCD and think that helped to have some things in mind and do them.
It’s unfortunate how much i related to this and how much it hurts to know, how my parents simply refused to become educated on my condition. I am 20 years old, and when i was barely 6 i think, my parents took the doctors recommendations of prescribed ADHD medication and less then a year or so, took me out of it because i was having “suicidal thoughts.” Yes, a 6 year old wanted to die and ever since then, my parents never been interested in prescribing me medication, even after all these years.
I was never good in high school and dropped out. Got my GED, went to community instead, my first semester professor took such great accountability for my education that i was able to pass all 4 classes within a single semester. Not only that, a nice lady was able to help me set up all of my classes. But once the semester ended, my college basically told me to take the wheel. I had to pick my college classes, and was put in a room full of professors who could give to shits wether i passed or failed. They never reached out like my first semester professor, and eventually failed all of them.
ADHD is real. My parents are alway expecting so much from me, and expect me to get everything done like a normal person. I’ll tried going back to ADHD medication and they basically fought with me NOT to take it. i’ll already fucked up my education, i might as well see if medication can help me become a more competent individual in the work force.
Keep taking medications WITHOUT telling your parents otherwise yr life will be wrecked
Same here. Got diagnosed at 6 or 7 and didn't get medicated because my Parents listened to a weird Doctor.
Completly forgot about it untill 25 and got diagnosed. I also only suvived school and so on due to extremly supportive teachers. Started University very late and well ... put it on halt for a few years now and feel a bit like a failure. Now my own Mother, who didn't want to medicate me as a kid got diagnosed herself as well - ironic.
Not having been treated caused me alot of suffering, loss of friends and wasted time & potential from just doing nothing or being unfocused. It was kind of scary when I got treatment and the fog cleared and I realized that everyone around me was feeling like this .. normal and were doing something with their lifes the whole time. Medication helps alot, believe me
I found this interesting at first.
But when he got into brain functioning in children I was lost.
I'm 52 just been diagnosed,
I've always been responsible and thoughtful from a child up to now. This is the people pleaser aspect of my symptoms.🙂
Is there a people pleaser aspect of symptom. As that's what I am basically outside my home. I relate to being younger than the actual age but not in the way he says. I will give mature advice to people. I advice my 60 year old parents. My older brother too. So I relate to having knowledge but not applying on myself. I have been told by my superiors that I take accountability for my tasks etc. Although I work at 11th hour a lot in work too but just soemhow manage. But as there is daily accountability in my task I suffer less. On personal level I am a mess as I have no structure . I have lost money etc. Late bill payments etc. Procrastinated to level of just ending my life. But sometimes I feel like a teen although I am 30. Mental illness sucks as there are so many mis-diagnosis. All the times I have been diagnosed bipolar. But I feel like I have ADHD. As the meds for bipolar are not that effective.
I been diagnosed when I was 7 with really mild autism its been really really really really really really really really really awful I choose not to drive because it technically is a impairment and my doctor advised me not to and because I'm scared and know I won't like it I also didn't do well in school I have been out of school for 2 years and I haven't went to college yet because I know I won't be successful I have taken medicine for it but it causes really bad side effects the worst side effect I had was paranoia from aderall and it causes you to be really wired up and it looses your creativity
What's the people pleaser aspect of the symptoms?
This made me cry. This is a wonderful video!!
I have just been diagnosed at age 56. I always knew I was different and my whole life has been a struggle. I feel like my life has been a complete waste. If you even suspect you or someone you know may have adhd, please seek help! Now.
This is so true this is wonderful it’s bringing us with ADHD justice. Kudos ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Diagnosed at 30 - all of this is spot on. Medication helps so much, and crafting an environment that makes sense!
Only rich people get meds.
Thank you for this.
Thank you Doctor. I'm a parent of 11yr old son with ADHD. I should lower my expectations of his executive level.
Na...just be kind. Understanding
ADD people have different levels of intelligence.
His perception is fine. So he will definitely notice if you treat him differently. And that is why I cut contact with my mother.
This video completely changed my mum's perception of how ADHD affects my brother's life, and even more than that actually convinced mum of something my teachers said when I was in primary school; that I have ADHD PI and it explains SO many of the failings in my life
This is very valuable knowledge. Guys. You. Are. Not. Alone.
We are many and we should share our wisdom so that less lives get destroyed from not knowing about this.
Actually it helps idk how many times i have avoided an accident due to my heightened awareness
Me too, I also consider myself a great driver, but that's because I enjoy driving. But if I do not enjoy it I quickly become a public hazard. If I have someone in the vehicle talking all the time I'm screwed.
Some people will hyperfocus when driving. I could never drive too far. Now I am on meds, I can drive for hours.
Yes! Yes! Omg same here! This lady sped by me and cut me off approaching an intersection so fast that I almost rammed into the side walk where pedestrians were walking. My instincts allowed me to pull the wheel quick enough but not too hard as to safely get out of the way without going onto the sidewalk. I was SO SHAKEN by this my hands were trembling and I had to pull over and call 911 to report this driver. The 911 operator was very understanding and happy that I called to report. I know my ADHD instincts were to thank for this.
I actually don't agree with all.he says especially about driving I've never had a serious accident ...I drive well and thank God Ave avoided things like dogs cows who were right there in front of me .
Same!
My brother..completely the opposite
I love this doctor! He does not sugar coat it, and presents the reality of having this developmental disorder. It's not fun or good to have ADHD. So happy to have found this man 💜 I have suffered and failed at relationships despite doing my level best. This information would have made a huge difference earlier in my life!
This guy has just put all of how I'm feeling in one video
This guy makes it sound like adhder's are enemies of mankind.
Well thats how it feels for us too, for me anyway. It's such a vicious cycle, many people deny that adhd is even a real thing. And then when we mess up it's still our fault and we "didn't try or want hard enough". Not to mention the stigma around it.
Also, this is only a short clip of this doctor, you should watch the other ones as well, he is really trying to help.
it may sound that way from this short clip, short relative to the many hours he has spent educating people through these lectures-he does care, his brother passed away in a wreck, his brother had adhd
He's bringing awareness to the seriousness of ADHD so people know to take it seriously, rather than ignoring kids when they need help and telling them they're undisciplined idiots. This is part of a series. I'd recommend watching the other videos.
Lol
Haha right?!
I struggled for years to implement CBT in my life to deal with my Bipolar Disorder.
The moment I started taking proper medication, I was able to use CBT without even a second thought.
Medication is a MUST and anyone trying to shame you for taking it is doing you a massive disservice.
Agreed!!!👍
the 30% rule might be for the average child, but what happens if you are more mature than the average child, a higher IQ and have a different psychological makeup where you work very hard? I am a hyperfocused type, excelled at school even while being neglected by parents in every way and made the dean's list into college. It wasn't until second year of college that I ran into problems which were mostly financial. I tend to be a from a hypercompetitive social background though where failure and laziness is not accepted. I tutored at 15 and babysat at 18 and was great at it. I even took care of my younger brothers despite my abusive parents...but I am also an half hour late to work every day, and takes me forever to take a shower or finish a news article and I never finished college. That's ADHD..it just doesnt sound like how he describes it
omg hey there. I hear ya. Those life circumstances either break you or make you grow up fast. I would hate to hear what he thinks about a 12 year old being solely responsible for the care of a new born .Some of us adapt even though we still struggle in other areas
Just wait until you get married and your responsibility greatly increases, this is where a huge struggle comes into play. Most don't make it, and divorce. That's a major fact.
@@dede4004 so why get fucking married marriage is a fucking scam
@@anttwo yeah very odd- i feel like I was the same too! I swear, non-neurotypicals are the best people!!!
@@dede4004 yo my dad has adhd non medicated and hes a very good driver and got 98% in all his classes. Has over 100 friends and still married.
I have ADHD and almost none of this happened with me. Seriously. I find this almost exactly the opposite of my life path. And I was unmediated. It was education, jobs, income and stress.
THE YOU DONT HAVE ADHD ITS THAT SIMPLE
There are 6 types of ADHD .
If it doesn't interfere with your life, it's not ADHD
His statements are true. They are based on years of scientific research and study. His is considered the gold standard in the field.
People with ADD are notoriously bad at self evaluation. Denial is not a river in Egypt.
Research funded by pharma
@@alanberkeley7282 you got proof?
@@alanberkeley7282 oh, noz! The bad man is paid by Big Pharma!
ffs
He's spent his entire career researching adhd. He understands the condition better than anyone else on the planet, and that is not hyperbole.
The large companies who make adhd meds ask him questions and pick his brain in order to improve the efficacy of their medications. This is called consulting, and it is a common practice in many industries. It strikes me as a good idea to ask experts about things.
Since he is not stupid, he charges them for his time... so yes, you are correct, he is indeed funded by big pharma.
I hope he wrings every penny he can out of them, because he explains me to me, and that is priceless.
Wdym denial and river in Egypt
This is about ADHD. Not ADD. And they are partially true. I have ADHD but was left untreated until I was 23 (2 years ago. I was diagnosed as a kid but never told I had it until then). I know many successful people who have ADHD and some of the top entrepreneurs of the world have ADHD. When I was a kid and teen, I was one of the best readers in my class and was very advanced in terms of reading, spelling and vocabulary. We have abilities to hyperfocus on things and are often quite innovative and creative and can get so focused on things that we can at times do things like whip out a essay in a couple of hours. It is true that we can lose focus, especially with things we aren't interested in, and sometimes can forget things, but we can also remember things that other people would not be able to. Our long term memory especially can be good, and shorter term memory more difficult to deal with. People with ADHD also can be very social (this really depends on whether or not the person is introverted or extroverted), but they also sometimes have what I call a social battery, in which they can run out of social battery after awhile and be emotionally drained and then would in turn need time alone to recover and recharge. People paint ADHD with a single brush and only focus on the hyperactive "OH LOOK A SQUIRREL" stereotype, which can be harmful, because it is more complex than that and there are different types. Women in particular are less likely to be diagnosed because typically they present as the inattentive type of ADHD, and don't present as the typical loud, brash and interrupting type.
You helpd me so mich thx..
Thats explains Everthing..
Consequences of untreated ADHD - I have restarted the intro to this video 4 times because I keep getting distracted and I miss the intro after I start playing it.
Make that 4 times because I just realized I was writing this after I restarted it *sigh*
I come back to this video every few months forgetting everything in it and watching it "for the first time" over and over again.
I restarted a couple times. About to give up. :-)
I find this grossly unfair to people with ADHD. People are individuals and this kind of approach forces people to choose either be on medication or be deprived of certain privileges such as learning to drive and have a vehicle. A persons individual merit and earned trust should determine those things. I have severe ADHD, I good driving record, a university education, got married, had children...found myself in an abusive marriage and had the strength to leave it and carry on with life.
I was never promiscuous, never abused alcohol or drugs and have a very strong sense of self. I have struggled with short term memory, and that with anxiety was a nightmare. Fortunately my strength and problem solving skills got me through High School. It took me a lot of off and on attempts, but I ended up with a General Studies certificate and a BFA plus an accumulation of related study credits. I achieved a BFA without medication. It was immensely difficult but I did it. Now on medication, I feel a little ripped off admittedly.
Life could have been easier. My education would have been higher as I had wanted to do a Masters and or PhD. My career path and income prospects would have been greatly improved with medication and support for ADHD and Autism. I'm also Autistic. Medication cannot change that and honestly, I love my Autistic characteristics. It's a very challenging combination, but it has its' gifts.
The thought that my rights could be removed to pursue things like a drivers licence could based on a label rather than my individual performance, is very alarming. Yes, I've struggled. Yes, I could have benefited from early diagnosis and support, but I think it's really important to not end up on the wrong side of the line here. There is a line. After viewing two other lectures by Dr. Barkley, although there was a great deal of very informative and important information there, I find his attitude rather intense and old school. Spare the rod and spoil the child though not literal I know, that's how it came across to me.
Essentially his talks are vividly black and white. The occasional semantic issue in there as I recall...fade out I would have go back and find those... but I sense this undertone I don't like.
None of this will dissuade me from utilizing the good I've found in his studies, or from working back into things he mentioned along the way as supporting his ideas, but I feel strongly that caution is advised on recommendations such as medicate or you should not be allowed to drive. However well meaning.
I've been hit by a car, my cousin and he boyfriend were killed in his vehicle by a drunk driver. I do take this seriously. Although he has a fair point, I really think that's a case by case situation that could be caught in Student Driver Training and A Drivers test. Possibly a doctors evaluation could be advised, but not as policy.
Similarly, I believe that other factors can lead to teen pregnancy and other things mentioned here.I can only speak for myself regarding maturity. I was born old. I was always ahead of my peers in terms of maturity intellectually and despite regulatory issues, I had and still have a high emotional intelligence. Magic mix of ADHD and Autism perhaps. but there it is, Individuality and Neurodiversity is extremely important to recognize.
I really wish I had had the help and support that I needed. I really do. It would have made my life far more productive and better not just for myself, but for those I interacted wtih..and my relationships with the ones I love most, a little better. But I didn't until now as a senior. Better late than never. Just at the point where the die off policy has kicked in for low income older folks deemed lazy and irresponsible for not putting enough money away andnot getting their CPP up to par.
It's not hard to understand why Neurodivergent people commit suicide, but now that;s been made easier too. Instead of helping us live, it's easier for them to help us die. It's sick world.
I will live as ling as I can as true to my self as I can. Good luck to us all.
fascinating comments and I agree; I've been watching some of this guy's videos and am part way thru his book 'Taking charge of Adult ADHD' and am very interested in his views but like you he has an uncomfortable black and white nature. I'm reading his hard and fast attitudes to medication. Alarm bells went off and It got me thinking whether or not he gets paid by the drug companies. Sure enough after doing some research from the National Library of Medication his website once stated that 8% of his income comes from a recognised ADHD meds pharma company! 🤷
Agreed.
Oh my gosh, he’s amazing! And so passionate about educating people about ADHD. How amazing to have him advocating for us✨
I have just found out about Dr. Russell Barkley and am binge watching these videos now and it's fucking destroying me. Right now, while listening, I have literally 3 tabs open searching for professional psychological treatment facilities in germany after completely giving up on treatment 15 years ago (almost 30 years old now) because I was simply filled with the maximum dosage of adhd medication without any further treatment and losing all trust towards medical professionals as a result. This is giving me hope, this is rekindling a fire long extinguished that I could get better and do well in life if only proper treatment were to be applied to it. Thank you so much.
As an adult living with the (life-crushing) consequences of long-term incompetently treated ADHD- parents please, please listen to everything this doc says (in this video and other videos by him). His work in ADHD research is extraordinary. Trust me, especially if you don't know first hand what living with ADHD is like. This is the road map your kids need and deserve. Listen and then follow through- I wish someone had done it for me when I was young. I'm trying to do it for myself now- but there's a lot of fall out and so much has been lost over the years. If TH-cam hadn't recommended Dr. Barkley and his work- all might be lost, but I'm finally moving forward. Everything your kids hope to achieve and to become- the foundation they need to build a future, their potential and right to freedom and happiness depend on it. They don't have a chance without this type of informed and compassionate treatment. Not one chance. Listen and follow through- it's the most supportive and loving thing a parent can do for a kid with ADHD.
With driving I didn't get my license until 19. My parents knew I had Adhd, and I still do, and took longer with me to teach me. My dad was an driving instructor and taught me to the point were I am quite good at keeping aware of what goes on around me.
I am ADHD. I was diagnosed at 3 then again at 30. I agree with what is said here. However... I also use to drive DISTRACTED, I would start my car, and once I was driving, start looking for something like my phone or a cigarette or my lighter which usually meant feeling through my purse. Then one day, it dawned on me, that I had a 3,000 pound weapon,and if a child were to run out in front of me, or a dog, a cat, anything living. I would hit it because I wouldn't be able to respond. The thought of killing a child and going to prison, my whole then future flashed in my mind. My life would be over. From that day I was 10 and 2, both hands on the wheel, to this day. I don't drive without both eyes on the road. And I refuse to look at my phone. It is something I refuse to make an exception for. And I go the speed limit. But it definitely exhausts me mentally.
Oh and about the age. Technically I have never been this AGE before. So ofcourse I don't know how to act it! Lol
I had undiagnosed ADHD
I’m 26 and I believe my mental age is 19
I’ve suffered and been through so much.
I’ve lost the love of my life due to my actions, she now hates me and is taking me to court. I have a child that now resents me down to her mothers actions towards me. I hate it so much and no matter how hard I try to tell people I get no help. I have no one to support me and I’m dealing with it all alone! I hope I get out this mindset and I know what I want and that is my daughter and my ex partner. They are all I want but it’s never gonna happen because of my stupid undiagnosed ADHD 😢😢😢😢😢
‘I have ‘
@@kieranbaker2855 sorry to hear bro, i hope it get's better for you. have u been diagnosed yet? i know how truly difficult life can be with untreated ADHD, struggling too
Thank you for this informative video!
TIL: the executive functioning and self control of a person with adhd is about 30% behind the neurotypical population - a 21 year old with adhd acts like they’re 14.
This leads to a lot of risky and dangerous behavior unless the environment is structured around the person’s executive age, not their chronological age.
I disagreed with this. That;s more of a boy thing. Girls not at all. He thinks in this or that and leaves out that one size does not fit all.
This man is a clinical psychologist- the most cited clinical psychologist when it comes to the study of ADHD. You don’t think he would consider gender and social influences? He has.
You can watch his other videos on the gender differences in adhd. You can disagree all you want but you’re not qualified to lol
I heard him and it is like listening to the story of my life. And counting up to this day at my 58...
I can say that going on 40 years with untreated ADHD, having fallen through the cracks of the system to a point where help is no longer possible, and you are so low on nutrients because you can't afford more, is a waking nightmare.
Treatment is awesome, when you can get it where you live. But, the reality is that the odds of starving to death are greater than actually getting help in these back-water northern Ontario towns.
I was with him until he said 14 year olds shouldn’t babysit. I babysat at 14-a lot. Not all people with adhd are baby killers!! And what about the fact that being treated as younger than your age actually really hurts! I was always told I was mature for my age. I would have really benefitted from wayyyy more support in college though. I went to an Ivy League school that didn’t give two sh!ts about its students’ well being. I was diagnosed at 16 but never tried to get services until college. I went to the disability office and the woman said she was supposed to have retired but they couldn’t find a replacement. Then I missed the meeting where I was supposed to sign up for classes so I had to meet with the Dean. A few other students were in the same boat. We were really berated. “What a terrible way to start off the semester.” I was burnt out from high school and college was worse from the beginning! I ended up failing two classes (I passed the hardest one, thanks hyperfocus). They made me take a year off. When I asked why, their answer literally was “we don’t know, it usually works.” I had to basically reapply to get back in after the year. Nothing had really changed, I just had more anxiety about not being perfect.
I'll be 50 next year, and I'm just starting to realise that I may have ADHD. I'm looking to get formally assessed. I tried so hard to continue my education, but just found organising myself and concentrating and meeting deadlines so difficult. I did end up with enough credits for half an Honours degree, but I couldn't keep all the plates in my life spinning at once.
I’m 70 and just realised I have it but am I too old for treatment if I’m coping?
At least one comment I've seen stated that this doesn't seem to apply to the inattentive type, mainly in women, and I gotta say I completely disagree. I was the overachiever, masking into functionality, and truly relying on external structure for my success without realizing it for nearly thirty years. All of what he is saying resonates with my lived experience, ESPECIALLY since the pandemic hit and everyone's routine got interrupted. Extended isolation removed all of the crutches and coping mechanisms I'd built up around an external framework for my whole life.
Same here
I agree with him on the executive age. Im 27 but act like a 23 year old. I never felt my age
30% rule is 18 tho not 23
omg hey there lol
he said at 1:33 put all kids on drugs lmao. maybe just dont give them phones if they have ADHDICTION DISORDER
yes that term is made up but true
7:55 is fact tho
Dr Barkley is great, with a very well researched background in ADHD and also in Adults.
I have later diagnosed add, could you add some balloons and sound effects? Maybe a highlight video for us that have a very hard time sitting through these wonderful excerpts?! hahaha
Told a friend about this video, especially the 30% and she seemed sceptical. She's not ADHD. Makes total sense to me. Dr Russ helping me navigate my brain more than I dared hope. If you ever see this then thank you. 🙂👏👏
I managed to graduate college, after 3 attempts, at the age of 33. I used to set a timer for 4 minutes and every time it went off I would be jolted back to getting back on task. Whoops, I wandered off again. Fucking grueling way to work. My teachers were so confused as to why I was so clever in class but dogshit at completing the work. I would get so frustrated I would cry. And then there was that time I forgot to go to the final exam.. people don’t understand
Just recently my husband was diagnosed and this video is explaining me why he drives so badly. He always hit the breaks when the car is too close to the other one, if the radio is on or if he is talking to me, the driving get bad, very close to have accidents. He got his driving license very young and had many accidents until he reached his thirties.
Untreated adhd turned me into a self medicating adolescent and adult. I also went to a bad school. Now i can’t keep a job, dropped out of college, had many car accidents myself, i just feel so stifled and no one will take me seriously bc i self medicated with drugs and food.
I was diagnosed with adhd at a very young age. Everything this man said is me except for driving.. I've always been cautious. I was put on medication when I was a child and it traumatized me as it changed my personality drastically, I became very angry and quiet. None of my friends wanted to be around me. Yes it helped with school but I hated what it made me and yes I tried many different kinds. I wish it helped like it has to others but I have learned to manage on my own. My highest education is high school and I cannot stand when people look down on me for that. You have no idea how hard school is for us.
How different my life could've been if I'd seen this in 2009/10 and could sit down and show it to my family.. They (and myself to some degree) don't know where my ADHD ends and my personality begins....
I'm a great dad and a great driver. This guy makes me question whether or not I actually have ADHD.
Im a great driver too. But that is more of a reaction time thing. I get lost. If someone is talking to me...my driving goes to shit. My friend says I drive like im trolling for crack. 😂
It’s helpful to remember he’s talking about statistics here. These are the issues that affect people with adhd more than they affect others. But they aren’t the only factor. Individuals with adhd vary soo much for so many different reasons. Many people go undiagnosed because they manage to compensate for their disorder- women tend to mask their behavior more than men, and people with high intelligence are often able to create strategies which mask their symptoms as well.
As a parent, the Drs never educated me as a parent. Now seeing this I know I should have held my son back and could have asked or made accommodations in his learning. But definitely good stuff. Will share.
6:18 really hit home because of my situation with my daughter, and certain peoples unwillingness to understand what she's dealing with. ❤
When I started to read about mental illnesses, I thought how scarily accurate were posts and comics about anxiety and depression were for me. So I got diagnosed and yeah, turns out I have anxiety with depression episodes. I was reading about ADHD too, but it didn´t bother me until August of 2020 when my friend told me I have an ADHD energy, so I started to think about that more and compare every post, video and meme about ADHD to myself and sure, almost everything is accurate too, so now I have to wait until lockdown in my country is over and Im gonna get myself diagnosed.
I'm going for a formal assessment after five years of trying to convince child services that I was really trying. Realizing my mental age was 12 and not 17 when I had my first..... oh dear, it explains so much.
I'm 51 and have just been diagnosed with adhd, I've been a alcoholic for most of my adult years drank enormous amounts for 10 years until I blacked out. I have not had a drink for 6 years but since then people have noticed and myself included that I'm all over the place. I talk over the top of people I but in, I spend too much I don't think before I act, I'm impulsive. My life before when I was drinking, I use to split up with boyfriends every month or so and then go back, I'd go from one boyfriend to another. Sexually promiscuous in my younger years, very faithful now and I've been married for 16 years, I'm grateful I have a very patient husband who loves me dearly.
I know a number of people with ADHD that have no trouble driving. If someone told me I could not have a driver license because i had ADHD I would never admit I had it.
I actually drive better unmedicated because I tend to hyperfocus on the road ahead.
I disagree with being required to take meds to drive. I'm 71 yrs. old with ADHD no tickets or accidents. Using fear to force medications to drive a car?
Cool, youre an outlier. Doesnt mean generally people with adhd need meds to drive
Diagnosed with severe ADHD combined at 48. I have never had difficulty with driving, tickets, or accidents. Thank goodness my parents didn't treat me as a child like I was 30% younger or I would never have graduated high school or college. I appreciate this doctor's sense of urgency and seriousness, but I do not appreciate the way in which he paints folks with ADHD as if they are a danger to themselves because I just do not think it is true for a whole lot of us.
Same with driving....
This explains so much
He seems to truly care.
So he does, about making money from big pharma and drugging kids.
he's passionate about his field, regardless of how much one agrees or disagrees.
I looked at the DSM and I have ADHD, and do you know what? I don't. I also if you believe the DSM have ODD, OCD and Major Depression and Sluggish Cognitive Tempo which Barkley is trying to get in there. He also got a woman sacked who said too many kids were being diagnosed with ADHD and drugged. Eli Lilly are funding the research into SCT, by Barkley, so guess what happens, more kids are drugged without looking at the root causes of their problems, and who cashes in? Barkley and Lilly. The losers are kids who are being poisoned.
Hitler was passionate as well. So was Stalin. Your point?
He does, about filling his bank account with pharma dollars
His own brother died because of an accident while he wasn't on his medication. I can bet that he cares because he is personally connected. You can look up the dsm, but he has many years of intense research and scientific tests about adhd...
I told my parents I wasn’t ready to drive. I cried and told them I didn’t feel old enough. I literally told them I should wait until I’m 18. But I am the oldest child and my grandparents were deteriorating... 😔
I love this dr . Listening to his lecture improved my performance 15% within a week without med. however, not all ADHD struggle with education or Driving. I also last in the relationship long.
Made me cry
I’d been diagnosed for 10 years with GAD and depression. I almost failed out of middle- and high-school multiple times.
Had to take 2 years off after school before going to community college while friends graduated from universities. Dropped 2 different college programs before finally finding something I could stick with, which was not where I thought I’d be at all.
I’ve had over a dozen career changes in that same time period. Probably the same amount of relationships.
And to think my high-school teachers, counselors, and even my parents laughed when I brought ADHD up.
I was two hours into a lengthy clinical screening when my psychiatrist said he had seen pretty much all he needed to see. At age 28.
I hate how few people -genuinely- understand ADHD to this degree, and dismiss it based on their own ignorance.
Relatable.
I'm 66 yr severe ADD ADHD and dysgraphia school was hell back in the 50s 60s
Am 53 with ADHD, still waiting my diagnosus and treatment. French and living in Spain, very slow here. I love driving, drive for 10 years in England and 10 years in Spain. I was very focused when driving because I love it!!!
This man is my hero!
Experts making these statements are very shortsighted.
After being Diagnosed and medicated I got divorced, lost my job, friends and all my possesions.
Before that i became a Principal of a school. was married for 26 years. Own 2 properties and were well respected and had some friends.
Diagnosed at 53 because of a panic attack after being attack at school by a pupil. So if people know you are ADHD you suddenly become all the things mentioned in the video. This means according to common believe, you have no choice in the matter. I beg to differ.
perhaps you were misdiagnosed
I agree it's like we are Imbiciles If he's an expert I don't see him showing any love for anyone ...only reading on aADHD now and I'm 60 ...
Sir Please ignore this doctor always hear a second third fourth opinion of many doctors before making a decision visit dr ameen just search it up on TH-cam
Let’s talk tomorrow about this I work with many doctors
AS an adult with ADHD my advice for ADHDers who are new drivers is DON't listen to music while driving. you need to be able to focus on the road.
Even medicated
Wow just back to back facts 🙌🏼
Great talk.
I had some doubts about this point though. He said there are “legal Cases of people in their late teens and 20s who have killed babies out of anger, out of impatience, out of immaturity, out of not knowing what to do when the baby got upset and then their emotions came to the forefront”.
That literally made it seem like people with ADHD can kill. Is this an extreme case of ADHD? Could the emotional regulation be that impaired?
I have severe ADHD, but I'm in college studying Biomedical Science with A's in most of my classes, I've never had a ticket, I can control my emotions, I'm certainly more mature than a number of my peers. I don't have people check up on me, and I don't take meds. I don't engage in risky sexual behaviors, and I've never taken drugs. I understand what he is trying to say, but it sounds like he's calling me, personally, stupid.
You might have self control in some of the right areas, I have ADHD (undiagnosed, but looks and sounds like it), and I wasn't getting into eccsessive sexual activity with other people, and I'm not bad with money( I'm not great, but not bad). I think in each are of our life there is a continuum in which the disorder effects us, some high, some low.
Driving/operating machines in general.. one of the places I can hyper focus
I wish you were still in practice. You are the only person in the Washington/Oregon area that actually gets it. One professional has diagnosed me as the textbook case in my 30's. My life could have been saved if diagnosed earlier. After moving and losing my private insurance. Now having to rely on state insurance due to my ADHD severity I cannot leave the house, nor work and sadly am unable to really function. I pray perhaps another professional will see my story and perhaps save the last of the life I have. I pray that one day I can go back to work making a difference in the world working with people with the need of my care. And truly to give my son a life and mother he deserves.
Perhaps someone can answer why professionals are so blind to ADHD but do quick to diagnose as PTSD, anxiety, depression or trauma? Why can't they look past and see the true underlying condition?
Medications ruin me as a person, but makes me the person everyone else wished I was but it makes me a person I hate. I care about how I feel more than how you feel about me.
i understand what you mean. but prolly you can do work/chores/responsibilites without them then. some cant and get into a big TROUBLE. so if you can manage your life good, nobody forces for you to take them. for some medicine literally is life-saving. so its good to have the possibility.
Let me provide a cautionary tale of what might happen if things don't all go right. .. If you have anything approaching a severe case of adhd, you may someday find yourself living an irreparable fucked up life and hating yourself for being the architect of your own purgatory. Consequences creep up slow and possibly the most insidious part of adhd is how it impairs your ability to accurately perceive the future.
@Ralph Fraz Truth
I always drive to fast! BUT, I’m always alert to other drivers!