I have created a 72hr rule to protect my time and energy. If a stranger male reaches out to me, or meets me and expresses interest, he has 72 hrs to initiate a MEANINGFUL exchange. What I’ve noticed is lots of men will “how you doing” and “how was your day” you to death. These men are just orbiting your energetic field and throw out pleasantries to feign interest but put literally zero effort into getting to know who you are as an individual.
@@alexskars Absolutely, some men are so dependent on women to propel a conversation fwd yet want to be a leader. Lead a basic conversation and we’ll go from there. Icebreaker questions are a google search away, if you need assistance. But they invest so little effort to spread themselves around 10-15 DMs at a time. I match energy, you give me dry breadcrumbs, I give dry generic responses. If you don’t catch on in 72hrs, you’re done ☑️
LADIES!!! Don't EVER wait for a man to "pull the trigger"!!!! It is NOT in his best interest to do that EVER!! He will string you along FOREVER! You MUST have timelines for EVERYTHING when it comes to dealing with a man. For exclusivity, for commitment, for engagement and for marriage. Set that timeline, don't tell him about it (put it in your phone!) and when that day comes, be ready to pull the trigger!!!!
@lisam6907 Exactly! Right now I'm trying to explain this very same thing to a guy I recently dated but he wants to keep trying. He had 3 months, and I explained to him what I don't like and that he doesn't want to change because he doesn't see it as an issue. I didn't spend all these years single and working on me to keep making the same mistakes.
As far as getting married, I can give a guy 1-1.5 years to decide if he wants to marry me & that’s it & no long engagement. I’d say a year tops on that. I’ve had my time wasted before & it’s not happening again.
For real! Even one year is being generous. Men know if you’re their wife within 3 months. Usually on the very first date. They are simple, they just act dumb so they can extract our youth and beauty for as long as possible.
@@rixieplur the ones that do that are definitely time wasters & just waiting to see if someone else is gonna come around that’s better. Like you said I really do think they know pretty soon & just use the extra time to confirm & make sure. But yeah I say a year so you can really get to know someone. If they’re abusive or anything like that, the mask will fall off in that time.
Another one of my favorites!!! Soooo true!!! I filed for divorce, but could have done it years before. Ladies, healing from childhood trauma is crucial. I had to learn to be single and do the healing work. I am still teachable. Thanks Stephan. Happy New Year Everyone!! 2023!!!🙏🏽🙌🏽✋🏽✋🏽✋🏽✋🏽💖🎈
The cracks in the foundation show at 3-4 months. Honeymoon is over, the pixie dust has faded, and what's left is a man who gets cocky and careless. I hate ending things, but I want my joy more.
I was with the same man for nearing 8 years. Due to issues on both our parts, but mostly because in my heart I did not ever feel true love from him, I attempted leaving so many times. Each time, he held on so tightly, suddenly said all of the things I longed to hear, would treat me affectionately for a month and then eventually retreat back into an impenetrable shell.... cold, unreachable, in the same room but a million miles away. Experiencing this over and over again was debilitating, exhausting, and utterly confusing. I convinced him to seek therapy. Things got better. We discussed marriage, children, etc. I felt hope, and actually more love for him. Then he left me. Eight years of my precious youth and time that I can never get back. Never again.
6-7 back and forth for me so I COMPLETELY agree. It has nice and comfortable times, but deep down I knew this wasn’t my husband, especially after I (not we) bought my house. But onward and forward. NEVER again.
2.5 months in and I asked, "what are we doing?" He got defensive, albeit saying great points on getting to know each other better and working on a friendship. I'm out and thankful because yes, he's a good guy but definitely saw red flags in retrospect. Happy that I'm freed up for the man that God has for me.
You called him out and that lifted the mask he used to put up a front to see how long it would take for him to extract his resources first before you found out what he was truly doing which was wasting your time.
So spot on. There are a lot of men who won't let you go even though they cheat on you and they are not in love with you, I've seen a lot of cases like this.
I totally agree.We as females have to stop continually giving of ourselves when we know the relationship isn’t fitting for us.My cut of is 1 1/2 to 2 months.Within that time a lot of flags can be picked up.I don’t want to give off any desperate vibes…Thank you for this content.
I like your message. I do believe I can learn something from all relationships, good and bad. BUT if I learn a lesson and know better, and I stay with someone who I know isn’t right, then that’s on me and absolutely wasted time. I think it’s wasted time if you don’t learn from your experiences.
I have a problem committing to anyone 😂 I am to happy with the life I created for myself. I am looking for a man of God and one that I can learn from. A true leader and it’s not an easy task. I would rather stay single then settle for less. I am happy with just God and I living this life together ❤
I'm starting to understand why the bible says "he who finds a wife, finds a good thing" because when he finds his wife, he will most likely stop at nothing to have you. Sad thing is that apparently from what Stephan Speaks explains this *inability to let go* applies to any woman that the man receives benefits from or is comfortable with. Never be afraid to leave ladies, it will save you years of your life.
This is very true. I cut a guy off after a year because he wasn’t the right fit for me , but he still want to wanted to keep my around so he cud get what he needed. Even him knowing it wasn’t the right fit.
Wow, you hit this nail on the head. I just left this mess after almost 2 years. I knew it wasn't compatible with me after 6 months, but I went back a couple times, because I didn't wanting to let go because I had convinced myself I could find love with him and fix if i worked hard at it... but no.... no.... no that wasn't a good idea. Learned a big lesson the hard way..
Yea, there’s a difference between spending time and wasting time. Spend time to learn and make decisions within the dating phase, but then know how to discern and know when time is being wasted. The deadline is for you and him.
This topic is right on point! Thank God I let go the man last year, this is a new year, new beginnings, new journey and a new me with zero tolerance! Amen!🌹🌹🌹🌹
I LOVE this video!! ❤ Thank you for guiding me to my epiphany!! 🙌 Mine is 8-12 months because I’ve noticed that is the time most men I’ve dated start acting authentically from my retrospect. But you might be right Stephan, maybe that’s my breaking point. I don’t always listen to my intuition because I hate dating so I’d rather just work with and try to give someone a chance longer than I should. Hmmm.
Thank you for your time and advice. Dating today is challenging and exhausting. With that being said, the only option for me is to be be alone. I dont like it when a man comes in my life just to delay progress of actually having something good cause he have no clue of what a healthy relationship feels or look like. Maybe some men are scared of being in a relationships or has no real experience of being in one. Idk. I wish I could go back 15 years ago when dating wasn't so challenging for me.
I’ve been trying to break up for seven months! Last month I thought I finally succeeded by going no contact. He was so offended by something I said that I thought he finally let go. Then he pretended like that conversation never happened and that he is not a quitter. I have only broken up one other time in my life and that is with my ex-husband of almost 25 years. I don’t know what I’m doing. I also enjoy certain aspects of our relationship, but not enough to justify staying…could he be a placeholder for me?
You are talking about me!🤦🏽♀️I wasted a lot of time! I struggle to let go as well because it was what I knew! Stay in abuse! I’m okay being alone with THE LORD now! My spirit cannot tolerate the negativity! It’s draining! I set myself up thinking they would change because I changed! Also I set myself up getting my mail/packages to his mailbox! I would like my things though I could go without it because I cannot stand the negativity! Thank you, Stephan! I’m learning a lot from you! GOD bless you abundantly in this new year abundantly in JESUS! I pray it is a year of prosperity for you! THANK JESUS in advance! PRAISE GOD!🔥🙌🏽🙏🏽❤️
Your time is your life. Time spent with the wrong person might be damaging you in a way that will hurt the person you will end up with and have to work through things unnecessarily. It matters how we spend our time. It matters who we are around. Bad Company corrupts the Bible says. Absolutely go for people who are kind and read and memorize First Corinthians 13. Do that toward others and live it yourself. Because love conquers all.
My goodness the timing!!!! I’m having a challenge right now with mine. I am so afraid that history is repeating itself…again and my heart can’t take it again. I’m so torn what to do. We have the best situation and been knowing each other for almost 20 years. I just know that basically where we are is where we are gonna be in 5 years cause he is having his cake and eating it too. Icing and all. 😝
I was drawn back to listen to this again! Some people stay in it long because that’s what they were taught, seen as a young child! They didn’t have anyone to instill the truth in them! I thank GOD I received the truth! Your videos have helped me tremendously! I am grateful and thankful to GOD for you! I was hard on myself for staying and not getting out!🔥
If somebody cheats on me 1 time im divorcing asap... most guys wont even admit it bc they are so used to hiding their feelings... so if things dont get better after addressing a problem dont waste your time just leave it.
The only moment that exists is the present moment. There is no such thing as wasted time. Plus you learn lessons from everything. Most growth comes from shitty relationships. It takes some serious crap to make you realize you need to love yourself
So true it took me for us to separate and evict him for him to leave!!!! It was years ago and now I'm loco about man who I met online and we both feel very close and talk everyday and now last 2.5 months we have long distance relationship....
I would disagree, I believe the majority of men simply express a greater degree of analytical thinking and less emotionally reactive behavior when it comes to ending a relationship. Seldom will a man depart a relationship exclusively over emotional issues.
@@slickdawg5976 yes, but with all of the analysis, they never learn to release and move forward knowing that every woman is different. The healed man understands that history didn’t have to repeat itself if they learn to move slowly, vet their partner and pay attention
@@michelleglaspie3443 Again this is where men & woman differ, a man who truly desires a woman will sacrifice his short term "happiness" to achieve a desire outcome. Although I find it remarkable, a recent Center for Disease and infectious control (CDC) study suggested an astonishing percentage of men (30%) ages 25-30 have engaged in intercourse fewer than four (4) times over a two-year period, and (12%) of this same demographic are virgins. I highlight this to point to illustrate, there are millions of men who simply find it difficult to "release and move forward" due to their lack of female options. This being the case they attempt to fit the quintessential "square peg within the round hole." Vetting is indeed vital, however apparently for a significant portion of the male populous scarcity plays an even greater role.
I will be sharing this clip among friends. I didn't think guys were behaving like that however I do notice it is quite common for men hanging on to their exes...
Ok. So what about at the texting stage just 2 weeks in? 🤔 He is totally respectful. Was texting once every evening, but not really asking questions to get to know me. He was the one to pursue me on a dating app. He is legit, but I'm just not "feeling" that he is feeling it. Do I just delete and block? Do I leave him on my FB? He will like some of my posts. Do I confront him on it? I don't think so, because I already mentioned my observation about it.
You are amazing Steve all the way in Africa Kenya. Praying for you and blessing you. I am your student and love your life insights. Truly must be spiritually inspired. Happy 2023
Thank you, Stephan...he tried to go 3 times. Now, he has ended it for the 4th time. I wish I had heard this information the first time. So, I wouldn't have wasted my time
Well my experience is that the man will hang on because he's got someone cooking and cleaning and bedding him down and why leave that unless you know guaranteed that there's something better out there they're going into. They are grooming sometimes the next one and getting it ready so they can move in with the next one and not talking straight about what's going on at home or pretending like there isn't someone in the same bed rubbing butts with them. My experience 90% of the time the man sets up the next one before he leaves the last one because why do things for himself when he's got someone doing it for him. Especially if you are desperately trying to invest into the relationship and doing even more than normal trying to make him happy again or trying to get his interest again so he's not giving that up unless he's got a guarantee that he's going into something better than that. Scoundrels. Words plus actions plus time are what you can count on. Don't be casting Pearls Before Swine
I couldn’t agree more Stephan on that point. Some men wouldn’t mind to stay in a relationship despite it not going nowhere, leaving it women to pull the plug, then women are portrayed as not being a ride and die
They way I’ve seen family members and others force marrying use to make me look at marriage as a bad thing! Everyone was miserable, cheating, lying, etc! I knew in my spirit even as a young child it wasn’t right! Until I grew closer to THE LORD and I remembered a specific dream from my childhood, I hope for marriage in the right ways! That dream still sticks out in the front of my memory! It’s a love my heart yearns for and give in return! The way I see and understand marriage today comes from reading what GOD says about it! I am grateful and thankful to GOD that I now know the truth about it!🔥
I just want to say thank you so much for each of your videos, I have already seen several of them and the information, points, and ideas that you share are really valuable and important. May God continue to use your life greatly, God bless you!!
im a 23 yr old female and i don't sleep around or do casual dating. my question is when being intentional about dating to marry vs just for fun, I told my 3 month boyfriend to give me a timeline of when he would be ready...we broke up because he said he is busy and would like to focus on his goals and career. i felt played because when we met he said he also dated to marry. is giving men a 1-2 or 3 year timeline bad? and when do you know when they just blurb and say what you want to hear but string you a long?
Date and ask lots of questions. (Pinterest first date questions) Let every man you date know that you are practicing abstinence until marriage. You will chase off the players, quickly. Match his energy. Find your purpose, focus on your career and get into real hobbies/ goals. The man that God has for you is going to progress a relationahip with and respect your boundaries. Men control marriage. Women control sex.
Amazing, Stephan! This idea of no waste of time is such a pet peeve to me. If you know what you want, everything is that is not aligned with this is a waste of time!!!
I can't get out of this relationship!!! I have been wanting to break up for like a year or more and he keeps acting so sad and pitiful and then starts cleaning everything in the house and doing chores and cooking in order to show he is a valuable addition to the home. Then he complains that there is not where for him to move to that is cheap. I just try to break up with him like 5 times and he just acts like I said nothing the next day. I just don't even want to have sex with him anymore and I am having eyes for other men when I am out. This is so annoying. "Nice guys" are sometimes the worst!!!! GOD HELP ME.
Please help My bf I dated for 7 months now. When he start talking to me he had gf. After 3 weeks he we start talking he found out he gf had a another affair. He told me this and he asked me to forgive him. I forgave him and stayed with Him. Even though he ended that relationship he still talks about his ex still checking what she's is doing. He always tried to be with me talk to me but now it's more than a month now he doesn't talk much text much. I feel weird. I cry every day I am so upset. He who doesn't understand my feelings. When I say I am upset. I says you should be grateful what I'm telling the truth and that kind of stuff. Recently he told me that he is not love like he used to. He told me needs time to love fully. I don't know I feel like I'm wasting time. I told him I can't do this anymore someone who thinks about love like this.
can you please answer me this: I have been dating a man for almost a year. He's never been married and he is a great guy, honest, respectful, I have a key and can go to his home anytime but he said he's still friends with three of his exes as far as them texting him or they call him every now and then. I don't believe in going in someones' phone because that is there personal property and wouldn't want anyone going in mine even though I don't have anything to hide. I try to trust that he is not leading them on or falling for anything they might try to suggest to him..should I just leave this relationship or trust that he will continue to do the right thing and just have conversation with them? I am in my 60's.
How long do you give a guy to initiate a second date ? They said the first went well and I’ve been very clear on my interest. I feel like the confusion is my answer lol . What do I say ? Why keep texting everyday if you’re not going to ask me out again smh
@@staceym4469 hmmm sounds like you’re just someone to talk to when he has no one to talk to. (No disrespect) and I don’t want you to feel bad. But I did that once I would text this guy all the time because I was bored but I would never meet up because I didn’t like him like that. It was just entertainment when I was bored or lonely, I could be wrong about your guy but that’s what it sounds like. Anyway best of luck and always remember you are worth so much more ! Have a happy new year 🥳♥️
I wouldn't even spell anything out because then he can fake you out asking you to be his gf. And waste your youth/ rest of your life. They shouldn't have to be told and pressured. If they do have to be, it tells us how they feels about us.
Just simply tell them. Never be scared to speak your mind or say what you need to, to a man because 9 times out of 10 they wont hesitate to with us. U dont have to do it in a harsh way but just be real about what your feeling. Anybody should respect your honesty no matter how much it hurts
Yes very true that’s why intentions should be talked about in the beginning for example I want a husband not a forever boyfriend so I will not date a man that doesn’t believe in marriage. My deadlines are while dating is no longer than 90 days without asking me to be your official gf and after that is established no longer than 365 days without a ring and there needs to be a wedding date set I will not be a forever ♾️ fiancé. Anything that is not evolving and growing is essentially dead I want a healthy and alive relationship and I’m in my thirties and I want children can’t have my time be wasted lol ❤
Question.. Is it possible to put the link to the full video in the description? I’m pretty sure I might’ve seen this one but, i go back sometimes to refresh my knowledge. Thanks 🙏🏽
Woo I'm glad I got out of that relationship. It's so painful not letting go. Thank you for letting women know it has to be us to do it, because for sure he would've kept it going. 😩
Absolutely! I liked and began to pursue a guy in June 2022 because I found out he liked me for roughly 13 years. I thought it’d be a good choice to give him the first chance to date me because I’m ready. June..July..September…October, 5 rejected dates, being left on read, one word answers,etc. I agree with Steph this relationship was not the right relationship and my intuition knew it right away - but I was forcing it! :X After 6 months I hit my breaking point when he didn’t want to drive 30 mins and wait for me to get ready to go out on a date. He messaged me he wasn’t coming over and rather go home then spend time with me. I was outraged and hurt. I didn’t respond to his message, left him on read and moved on! After 5 dates and him canceling each time, I hit my breaking point where I was like I deserve better. Three weeks later, I was in my stage of moving on and healing, and I met my current boyfriend! I was amazed by the amount of effort and love my new partner had to offer and I realized my past relationship was a waste of time. I am now in a happy and healthy relationship ❤and I have no regrets! If you allow a guy to use you, he will. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? He may never call you his girlfriend or make it official. It is important to put your foot down and say enough is enough and let him go. You are loved ❤and you deserve better. Some guys are in it for just the benefits not commitment or love. You deserve the best! 🤩
Disrespectful way he talk to me in 2 months and give him time to change???? Uh, no! I don't have time to wait on somebody to talk to me like he got sense!! Thank God, I got my dream guy who was on point from day 1!
Hey Stephan how are you am in a dating relationship going on 4 months , the problem is this, this man whenever time we meet up I noticed if he is going to the bathroom and he forgets his phone he rushes out and asking me for his phone. This makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and have me thinking that this man is once a cheater always a cheater, if this is sitting beside me in his living room and he has to get up to go to tge kitchen he has to take up his phone, he does not leave his phone no where lol, and it's not like I am going to search his phone this man gives me a impression that he is cheating and that is a big red flag for me.. To tell you the truth I really do like this guy but I do not know what to do now if I should let him go, he once told me that he is a one woman man but actions speak louder than words
❤ Here’s your chance to get your personal questions answered by me for FREE go to 👉 www.askstephanspeaks.com
I have created a 72hr rule to protect my time and energy. If a stranger male reaches out to me, or meets me and expresses interest, he has 72 hrs to initiate a MEANINGFUL exchange. What I’ve noticed is lots of men will “how you doing” and “how was your day” you to death. These men are just orbiting your energetic field and throw out pleasantries to feign interest but put literally zero effort into getting to know who you are as an individual.
You’re so right, those are little breadcrumbs to show the minimal amount of interest, but never anything genuine
I like how you put that.just there to suck your divine feminine energy.which once you know how powerful that is.then you become aware
Love this!
THIS!
@@alexskars Absolutely, some men are so dependent on women to propel a conversation fwd yet want to be a leader. Lead a basic conversation and we’ll go from there. Icebreaker questions are a google search away, if you need assistance. But they invest so little effort to spread themselves around 10-15 DMs at a time. I match energy, you give me dry breadcrumbs, I give dry generic responses. If you don’t catch on in 72hrs, you’re done ☑️
LADIES!!! Don't EVER wait for a man to "pull the trigger"!!!! It is NOT in his best interest to do that EVER!! He will string you along FOREVER! You MUST have timelines for EVERYTHING when it comes to dealing with a man. For exclusivity, for commitment, for engagement and for marriage. Set that timeline, don't tell him about it (put it in your phone!) and when that day comes, be ready to pull the trigger!!!!
My deadline is 3 months and if I noticed anything and you're unwilling to change.....I'm out ✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾
Me too! by then you see everything you need to to see if it’s worth staying
@lisam6907 Exactly! Right now I'm trying to explain this very same thing to a guy I recently dated but he wants to keep trying. He had 3 months, and I explained to him what I don't like and that he doesn't want to change because he doesn't see it as an issue. I didn't spend all these years single and working on me to keep making the same mistakes.
Same here!!! Works like a charm more times 2! 😅😅
Same here!!
Yup no more than 6 by month 6 we should know the direction of where the relationship is going
As far as getting married, I can give a guy 1-1.5 years to decide if he wants to marry me & that’s it & no long engagement. I’d say a year tops on that. I’ve had my time wasted before & it’s not happening again.
For real! Even one year is being generous. Men know if you’re their wife within 3 months. Usually on the very first date. They are simple, they just act dumb so they can extract our youth and beauty for as long as possible.
@@rixieplur the ones that do that are definitely time wasters & just waiting to see if someone else is gonna come around that’s better. Like you said I really do think they know pretty soon & just use the extra time to confirm & make sure. But yeah I say a year so you can really get to know someone. If they’re abusive or anything like that, the mask will fall off in that time.
Another one of my favorites!!! Soooo true!!! I filed for divorce, but could have done it years before. Ladies, healing from childhood trauma is crucial. I had to learn to be single and do the healing work. I am still teachable. Thanks Stephan. Happy New Year Everyone!! 2023!!!🙏🏽🙌🏽✋🏽✋🏽✋🏽✋🏽💖🎈
Happy 2023! And, the very best wishes to you!🥰
The cracks in the foundation show at 3-4 months. Honeymoon is over, the pixie dust has faded, and what's left is a man who gets cocky and careless. I hate ending things, but I want my joy more.
I was with the same man for nearing 8 years.
Due to issues on both our parts, but mostly because in my heart I did not ever feel true love from him, I attempted leaving so many times. Each time, he held on so tightly, suddenly said all of the things I longed to hear, would treat me affectionately for a month and then eventually retreat back into an impenetrable shell.... cold, unreachable, in the same room but a million miles away.
Experiencing this over and over again was debilitating, exhausting, and utterly confusing.
I convinced him to seek therapy. Things got better. We discussed marriage, children, etc. I felt hope, and actually more love for him.
Then he left me.
Eight years of my precious youth and time that I can never get back.
Never again.
6-7 back and forth for me so I COMPLETELY agree. It has nice and comfortable times, but deep down I knew this wasn’t my husband, especially after I (not we) bought my house. But onward and forward. NEVER again.
I did it for almost 20 years. You didn't lose your youth. Be glad you didn't lose more, or get married and have kids with him. 😢
@@em77775 great perspective and reminder. Thank you
2.5 months in and I asked, "what are we doing?" He got defensive, albeit saying great points on getting to know each other better and working on a friendship. I'm out and thankful because yes, he's a good guy but definitely saw red flags in retrospect. Happy that I'm freed up for the man that God has for me.
You called him out and that lifted the mask he used to put up a front to see how long it would take for him to extract his resources first before you found out what he was truly doing which was wasting your time.
I am going to use that phrase what are we doing? I don't have time to waste. If you are waiting for the man to do right you may be waiting. Priceless.
@@bizlady7566 Hunty, that question must've triggered him because I saw a totally different person.
So spot on. There are a lot of men who won't let you go even though they cheat on you and they are not in love with you, I've seen a lot of cases like this.
I totally agree.We as females have to stop continually giving of ourselves when we know the relationship isn’t fitting for us.My cut of is 1 1/2 to 2 months.Within that time a lot of flags can be picked up.I don’t want to give off any desperate vibes…Thank you for this content.
That is my timeframe too, he should man up at some point.
I like your message. I do believe I can learn something from all relationships, good and bad. BUT if I learn a lesson and know better, and I stay with someone who I know isn’t right, then that’s on me and absolutely wasted time.
I think it’s wasted time if you don’t learn from your experiences.
I have a problem committing to anyone 😂 I am to happy with the life I created for myself. I am looking for a man of God and one that I can learn from. A true leader and it’s not an easy task. I would rather stay single then settle for less. I am happy with just God and I living this life together ❤
This is me especially right now ! 😂I hope God blesses us with our partner in due time! Until then cheers to self love 🥰
God is Good 😌
This is so true I went through this for 9 yrs my ex boyfriend would not change and I was not in love with him he would not leave I had to leave him
7 weeks was enough for me. Could not communicate so how in the world could the relationship go further?
I'm starting to understand why the bible says "he who finds a wife, finds a good thing" because when he finds his wife, he will most likely stop at nothing to have you. Sad thing is that apparently from what Stephan Speaks explains this *inability to let go* applies to any woman that the man receives benefits from or is comfortable with. Never be afraid to leave ladies, it will save you years of your life.
I believe rushing is the worst coz you still don't know the person slow but sure wins the race
This is very true. I cut a guy off after a year because he wasn’t the right fit for me , but he still want to wanted to keep my around so he cud get what he needed. Even him knowing it wasn’t the right fit.
Wow, you hit this nail on the head. I just left this mess after almost 2 years. I knew it wasn't compatible with me after 6 months, but I went back a couple times, because I didn't wanting to let go because I had convinced myself I could find love with him and fix if i worked hard at it... but no.... no.... no that wasn't a good idea. Learned a big lesson the hard way..
“Identifying that breaking point…… before u break…”….I felt that my dude. GREAT advice
Yea, there’s a difference between spending time and wasting time. Spend time to learn and make decisions within the dating phase, but then know how to discern and know when time is being wasted. The deadline is for you and him.
This topic is right on point! Thank God I let go the man last year, this is a new year, new beginnings, new journey and a new me with zero tolerance! Amen!🌹🌹🌹🌹
I’m right with you, congratulations!! we did it, God did that!
@@JustJayPL Yes! God will do it,and He did! Amen! You have a bless and prosperous year! Amen!🌹🌹🌹🌹
I'm with both of you'll 🥰🥰
I LOVE this video!! ❤
Thank you for guiding me to my epiphany!! 🙌
Mine is 8-12 months because I’ve noticed that is the time most men I’ve dated start acting authentically from my retrospect. But you might be right Stephan, maybe that’s my breaking point. I don’t always listen to my intuition because I hate dating so I’d rather just work with and try to give someone a chance longer than I should. Hmmm.
Exactly my issue. I wanted to try for longer than a year but it isn't worth it.
Once again, Stephan, you nailed it. Thanks for continuously putting out sound and practical advice (with examples). May 2023 be extremely good to you.
Thank you for your time and advice. Dating today is challenging and exhausting. With that being said, the only option for me is to be be alone. I dont like it when a man comes in my life just to delay progress of actually having something good cause he have no clue of what a healthy relationship feels or look like. Maybe some men are scared of being in a relationships or has no real experience of being in one. Idk. I wish I could go back 15 years ago when dating wasn't so challenging for me.
I’ve been trying to break up for seven months! Last month I thought I finally succeeded by going no contact. He was so offended by something I said that I thought he finally let go. Then he pretended like that conversation never happened and that he is not a quitter. I have only broken up one other time in my life and that is with my ex-husband of almost 25 years. I don’t know what I’m doing. I also enjoy certain aspects of our relationship, but not enough to justify staying…could he be a placeholder for me?
You are talking about me!🤦🏽♀️I wasted a lot of time! I struggle to let go as well because it was what I knew! Stay in abuse! I’m okay being alone with THE LORD now! My spirit cannot tolerate the negativity! It’s draining! I set myself up thinking they would change because I changed! Also I set myself up getting my mail/packages to his mailbox! I would like my things though I could go without it because I cannot stand the negativity!
Thank you, Stephan! I’m learning a lot from you! GOD bless you abundantly in this new year abundantly in JESUS! I pray it is a year of prosperity for you! THANK JESUS in advance! PRAISE GOD!🔥🙌🏽🙏🏽❤️
It's like you're talking to me. Like you took a peek at my situation and made this video. Thank you!!
You're too cute to be letting a dude strong you along ma. FR
Your time is your life. Time spent with the wrong person might be damaging you in a way that will hurt the person you will end up with and have to work through things unnecessarily. It matters how we spend our time. It matters who we are around. Bad Company corrupts the Bible says. Absolutely go for people who are kind and read and memorize First Corinthians 13. Do that toward others and live it yourself. Because love conquers all.
My goodness the timing!!!! I’m having a challenge right now with mine. I am so afraid that history is repeating itself…again and my heart can’t take it again. I’m so torn what to do. We have the best situation and been knowing each other for almost 20 years. I just know that basically where we are is where we are gonna be in 5 years cause he is having his cake and eating it too. Icing and all. 😝
I was drawn back to listen to this again!
Some people stay in it long because that’s what they were taught, seen as a young child! They didn’t have anyone to instill the truth in them!
I thank GOD I received the truth! Your videos have helped me tremendously! I am grateful and thankful to GOD for you! I was hard on myself for staying and not getting out!🔥
If somebody cheats on me 1 time im divorcing asap... most guys wont even admit it bc they are so used to hiding their feelings... so if things dont get better after addressing a problem dont waste your time just leave it.
The only moment that exists is the present moment. There is no such thing as wasted time.
Plus you learn lessons from everything. Most growth comes from shitty relationships. It takes some serious crap to make you realize you need to love yourself
So true it took me for us to separate and evict him for him to leave!!!! It was years ago and now I'm loco about man who I met online and we both feel very close and talk everyday and now last 2.5 months we have long distance relationship....
This is so true…. Men absolutely struggle to let go!!!!
I would disagree, I believe the majority of men simply express a greater degree of analytical thinking and less emotionally reactive behavior when it comes to ending a relationship.
Seldom will a man depart a relationship exclusively over emotional issues.
@@slickdawg5976 yes, but with all of the analysis, they never learn to release and move forward knowing that every woman is different. The healed man understands that history didn’t have to repeat itself if they learn to move slowly, vet their partner and pay attention
@@michelleglaspie3443 Again this is where men & woman differ, a man who truly desires a woman will sacrifice his short term "happiness" to achieve a desire outcome.
Although I find it remarkable, a recent Center for Disease and infectious control (CDC) study suggested an astonishing percentage of men (30%) ages 25-30 have engaged in intercourse fewer than four (4) times over a two-year period, and (12%) of this same demographic are virgins.
I highlight this to point to illustrate, there are millions of men who simply find it difficult to "release and move forward" due to their lack of female options. This being the case they attempt to fit the quintessential "square peg within the round hole."
Vetting is indeed vital, however apparently for a significant portion of the male populous scarcity plays an even greater role.
100% right. It happened to me. I waited 5 years but I realized it from the beginning that wasn’t the right relationship.
I will be sharing this clip among friends. I didn't think guys were behaving like that however I do notice it is quite common for men hanging on to their exes...
Ok. So what about at the texting stage just 2 weeks in? 🤔 He is totally respectful. Was texting once every evening, but not really asking questions to get to know me. He was the one to pursue me on a dating app. He is legit, but I'm just not "feeling" that he is feeling it. Do I just delete and block? Do I leave him on my FB? He will like some of my posts. Do I confront him on it? I don't think so, because I already mentioned my observation about it.
You are amazing Steve all the way in Africa Kenya. Praying for you and blessing you. I am your student and love your life insights. Truly must be spiritually inspired. Happy 2023
Your so right I wasted many years....never again 💯
Some men are like vampires if u don't care about yourself they will drain them life out of you to satisfy their thirst.
This is good, Coach! That example made it all make sense! 💯
Thank you, Stephan...he tried to go 3 times. Now, he has ended it for the 4th time. I wish I had heard this information the first time. So, I wouldn't have wasted my time
Well my experience is that the man will hang on because he's got someone cooking and cleaning and bedding him down and why leave that unless you know guaranteed that there's something better out there they're going into. They are grooming sometimes the next one and getting it ready so they can move in with the next one and not talking straight about what's going on at home or pretending like there isn't someone in the same bed rubbing butts with them. My experience 90% of the time the man sets up the next one before he leaves the last one because why do things for himself when he's got someone doing it for him. Especially if you are desperately trying to invest into the relationship and doing even more than normal trying to make him happy again or trying to get his interest again so he's not giving that up unless he's got a guarantee that he's going into something better than that. Scoundrels. Words plus actions plus time are what you can count on. Don't be casting Pearls Before Swine
I couldn’t agree more Stephan on that point. Some men wouldn’t mind to stay in a relationship despite it not going nowhere, leaving it women to pull the plug, then women are portrayed as not being a ride and die
They way I’ve seen family members and others force marrying use to make me look at marriage as a bad thing! Everyone was miserable, cheating, lying, etc! I knew in my spirit even as a young child it wasn’t right!
Until I grew closer to THE LORD and I remembered a specific dream from my childhood, I hope for marriage in the right ways! That dream still sticks out in the front of my memory! It’s a love my heart yearns for and give in return!
The way I see and understand marriage today comes from reading what GOD says about it! I am grateful and thankful to GOD that I now know the truth about it!🔥
Same
Thank you so much for this. I was in both situations where the relationship was abusive and they wont let go.
Well said & Great information! Thank you & Happy New Year!
I just want to say thank you so much for each of your videos, I have already seen several of them and the information, points, and ideas that you share are really valuable and important. May God continue to use your life greatly, God bless you!!
im a 23 yr old female and i don't sleep around or do casual dating. my question is when being intentional about dating to marry vs just for fun, I told my 3 month boyfriend to give me a timeline of when he would be ready...we broke up because he said he is busy and would like to focus on his goals and career. i felt played because when we met he said he also dated to marry. is giving men a 1-2 or 3 year timeline bad? and when do you know when they just blurb and say what you want to hear but string you a long?
Date and ask lots of questions. (Pinterest first date questions) Let every man you date know that you are practicing abstinence until marriage. You will chase off the players, quickly. Match his energy. Find your purpose, focus on your career and get into real hobbies/ goals. The man that God has for you is going to progress a relationahip with and respect your boundaries. Men control marriage. Women control sex.
Thank you !
@@nicaflores2448 wow oh my God, I love this 💗
Thank you, and happy new year! Wishing you @Stephan Labossiere a year filled with success, prosperity, and good health. We appreciate you 🙏
Stephan, I absolutely adore you! You are so level headed, fair and on point! X you seem like you’d be a great husband and father
Amazing, Stephan! This idea of no waste of time is such a pet peeve to me. If you know what you want, everything is that is not aligned with this is a waste of time!!!
You're right on as always!
I can't get out of this relationship!!! I have been wanting to break up for like a year or more and he keeps acting so sad and pitiful and then starts cleaning everything in the house and doing chores and cooking in order to show he is a valuable addition to the home. Then he complains that there is not where for him to move to that is cheap. I just try to break up with him like 5 times and he just acts like I said nothing the next day. I just don't even want to have sex with him anymore and I am having eyes for other men when I am out. This is so annoying. "Nice guys" are sometimes the worst!!!! GOD HELP ME.
UPDATE: HE'S OUT
Please help
My bf I dated for 7 months now. When he start talking to me he had gf. After 3 weeks he we start talking he found out he gf had a another affair. He told me this and he asked me to forgive him. I forgave him and stayed with Him. Even though he ended that relationship he still talks about his ex still checking what she's is doing. He always tried to be with me talk to me but now it's more than a month now he doesn't talk much text much. I feel weird. I cry every day I am so upset. He who doesn't understand my feelings. When I say I am upset. I says you should be grateful what I'm telling the truth and that kind of stuff.
Recently he told me that he is not love like he used to. He told me needs time to love fully. I don't know I feel like I'm wasting time. I told him I can't do this anymore someone who thinks about love like this.
I love this man
I know these are your clips but for those who would like to hear the whole video, can you post the link in the description?
I always do this and don't feel bad that your helping make this clarification...
can you please answer me this: I have been dating a man for almost a year. He's never been married and he is a great guy, honest, respectful, I have a key and can go to his home anytime but he said he's still friends with three of his exes as far as them texting him or they call him every now and then. I don't believe in going in someones' phone because that is there personal property and wouldn't want anyone going in mine even though I don't have anything to hide. I try to trust that he is not leading them on or falling for anything they might try to suggest to him..should I just leave this relationship or trust that he will continue to do the right thing and just have conversation with them? I am in my 60's.
Your videos are always right on time.
Stephan where is the rest of the video to hear the rest of the list?
👏👌 thank you for this video cause Im going through this right now , and I was thinking of giving him an opportunity but no more
How long do you give a guy to initiate a second date ? They said the first went well and I’ve been very clear on my interest. I feel like the confusion is my answer lol . What do I say ? Why keep texting everyday if you’re not going to ask me out again smh
I do believe a second date is established the night of the first date or at least by the next day or week. Never longer in my opinion.
Why can’t you initiate the second date ?
@@darkybirdblue yes I agree !
@@tonimahan7235 I did and he didn’t bite yet still texts me everyday so it’s very confusing
@@staceym4469 hmmm sounds like you’re just someone to talk to when he has no one to talk to. (No disrespect) and I don’t want you to feel bad. But I did that once I would text this guy all the time because I was bored but I would never meet up because I didn’t like him like that. It was just entertainment when I was bored or lonely, I could be wrong about your guy but that’s what it sounds like. Anyway best of luck and always remember you are worth so much more ! Have a happy new year 🥳♥️
Been waiting on this topic👂❣️
You LOUD AF‼️
Exactly hold actions with words I won’t do or with a toxic person it don’t get better it gets worse . So on point u are thank u
i couldn't agree more.
JUST DATE THEM ALL SIS ❤😂🤩
How do you effectively communicate to a man that it’s time for you to let go?
Just pack your bags when his not at home and leave. You will explain everything later.
I wouldn't even spell anything out because then he can fake you out asking you to be his gf. And waste your youth/ rest of your life. They shouldn't have to be told and pressured. If they do have to be, it tells us how they feels about us.
@@top10africa65thats if they live together some dont
Just simply tell them. Never be scared to speak your mind or say what you need to, to a man because 9 times out of 10 they wont hesitate to with us. U dont have to do it in a harsh way but just be real about what your feeling. Anybody should respect your honesty no matter how much it hurts
Yes very true that’s why intentions should be talked about in the beginning for example I want a husband not a forever boyfriend so I will not date a man that doesn’t believe in marriage. My deadlines are while dating is no longer than 90 days without asking me to be your official gf and after that is established no longer than 365 days without a ring and there needs to be a wedding date set I will not be a forever ♾️ fiancé. Anything that is not evolving and growing is essentially dead I want a healthy and alive relationship and I’m in my thirties and I want children can’t have my time be wasted lol ❤
Happy New Year 🎊
You are speaking STRAIGHT FACTS
Truth be told, happy new year 🎉 to you Stephan
Question.. Is it possible to put the link to the full video in the description? I’m pretty sure I might’ve seen this one but, i go back sometimes to refresh my knowledge. Thanks 🙏🏽
Happy new year 🎉 ✨️ 💛
Woo I'm glad I got out of that relationship. It's so painful not letting go. Thank you for letting women know it has to be us to do it, because for sure he would've kept it going. 😩
I'm only feeling one person. Period
How long is the deadline ?
Absolutely! I liked and began to pursue a guy in June 2022 because I found out he liked me for roughly 13 years. I thought it’d be a good choice to give him the first chance to date me because I’m ready. June..July..September…October, 5 rejected dates, being left on read, one word answers,etc. I agree with Steph this relationship was not the right relationship and my intuition knew it right away - but I was forcing it! :X After 6 months I hit my breaking point when he didn’t want to drive 30 mins and wait for me to get ready to go out on a date. He messaged me he wasn’t coming over and rather go home then spend time with me. I was outraged and hurt. I didn’t respond to his message, left him on read and moved on! After 5 dates and him canceling each time, I hit my breaking point where I was like I deserve better. Three weeks later, I was in my stage of moving on and healing, and I met my current boyfriend! I was amazed by the amount of effort and love my new partner had to offer and I realized my past relationship was a waste of time. I am now in a happy and healthy relationship ❤and I have no regrets!
If you allow a guy to use you, he will. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? He may never call you his girlfriend or make it official. It is important to put your foot down and say enough is enough and let him go. You are loved ❤and you deserve better. Some guys are in it for just the benefits not commitment or love. You deserve the best! 🤩
Struggling to let go happens on both sides ...
Wasted my life waiting for someone to change 😭😭.. can't advise anyone to do it.
Where is the full video
You are the new dareck jaxn ?
Your Time is your Life Pure facts So True Stephan love you.......👏🏾👋🏽❤️🥰💯
Love the hair
Agreed
How do you set a deadline what it’s the time frame?
It’s personal to you
Give him only a year to make up his mind then make sure you leave on the date you set for him.
So true
4:50 smh so true
I agree
Facts!!!
Disrespectful way he talk to me in 2 months and give him time to change???? Uh, no! I don't have time to wait on somebody to talk to me like he got sense!! Thank God, I got my dream guy who was on point from day 1!
💯 sooo True !!!!
He has till the end of the weekend
What about those who date for 12 years and end up marrying ? So if putting a deadline , does that not mean we should not rush .
I’m sure he’s getting husband benefits at boyfriend prices, so really compromising here?
That’s usually because he didn’t find “better” so he settled for the placeholder. Research the placeholder woman or the come-up woman.
Hey Stephan how are you am in a dating relationship going on 4 months , the problem is this, this man whenever time we meet up I noticed if he is going to the bathroom and he forgets his phone he rushes out and asking me for his phone. This makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and have me thinking that this man is once a cheater always a cheater, if this is sitting beside me in his living room and he has to get up to go to tge kitchen he has to take up his phone, he does not leave his phone no where lol, and it's not like I am going to search his phone this man gives me a impression that he is cheating and that is a big red flag for me.. To tell you the truth I really do like this guy but I do not know what to do now if I should let him go, he once told me that he is a one woman man but actions speak louder than words
Some hides their character after the marriage their cloves comes out they show violence ignorance and show how abusive they can be and more
That was my ex husband
Stephan You are on it..Tab’s Pink Elephant will pick up conversation from a women’s view.
#tabspinkelephant
💯 agree