Women Say They Want The Soft Life, Providers & To Be Feminine But Rather Compete With Men
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.ย. 2024
- #ericabanks #softlife #feminine
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I won’t be tussling in the comments about Finesse2Tymes as I made it clear that I don’t advocate for street dudes not only in this video but plenty of others on this channel. This situation was merely used as an example; recent at that. Let’s not deflect on the topic at hand.
For you to have to even say this smh don’t let these trolls and ignorant people waste your time you are value with many others
Hello Wildheart Waves 👋🏾, missing your wonderfully awesome thoughts and commentary. Hope you drop something soon.
I just don’t understand why everything in this generation is an aesthetic or an era or a label like… I’m over it, if you wanna be easier in yourself then just do it! Thrive in your feminity now! don’t wait to feel protected by the masculinity to do it! It doesn’t have to be an era. I hate what social media has become. People gotta stop following these trends all the time and tune into their own beliefs and reality and not just what social media is doing at the moment
Well said!
Facts! And they act like it’s authentic. The same video in different style over a hundred times on tik tok talking about “soft girl era” like just chill and do you in private
@@real2121 right!!! Things aren’t the same anymore at all!
@@Justmelanin AT ALL GIRL
literally or a "culture" like what is going on
“WEAK men create masculine women, STRONG men create feminine women”
Beyond Factssssss ‼️
@@OpulentAristocrat how so serious question?
that's not true. women are become unnaturally masculine because their environment or mindset shapes them that way. A woman that's deeply entrenched in masculine energy is not magically gonna become wifey material just because she got a new boyfriend.
@@Dontbefooled560 Figure it out weak man.
Girl, bye. Men have nothing to do with it. Stop placing blame.
Yes, us Black women need to heal. We are not, I repeat NOT the superheroes of our home or our community. We are deserving of love, protection and provision. choose to heal, choose your health and peace of mind. If you need to go to therapy to get in touch with your authentic softness, do it. If you need to move geographically, do it. If you need to save up to upgrade your life, do it. It’s our blackity black birth right, Okay! Choose you sis. We are worth it. YOU are worth it💕
Amen I agree
You are so right. Woman believe that they have to be in competition with each other. We have to do the work of healing and dealing with past trauma. Go seek mental health counseling and do the work to heal and become free. Thank you 👑 keep giving out the knowledge we need you. 🖤
Yes‼️
Yas! Learning to choose me changed the game! I don't feel so run down or burnt out anymore! I wish I could like this comment a thousand times!!❤️
heavy on MOVING
Im so glad you made this video. Because women these days need to hear this! Just because you talk in a high pitched voice, put lipstick on and wear a pink t-shirt doesn’t make you feminine. 😩 You really broke this down so well, im glad you’re making this kind of content women need.
Keep doing the good work! ✨
Preach!!!!!
Literally trans men do this
It’s almost like femininity is a social construct
You’re always on point! I’d say most modern men are not deserving of authentic femininity, but neither sex is truly giving out to the universe the energy they would like to receive. Leaves a lot of confusion.
it's true. I see so many people apprehensive to just let their guards down. and I guess I can understand but it's like, where does the line get drawn and who gives in first? It's kinda scary out here lol
🎯 this was an excellent point! Thank you Eterea. ❤️
💯
although i 1000% support the women growing in their femininity, this whole soft life era, quiet girl era, or whatever is so ANNOYINGGGG. it’s like now everybody in their “soft” era? pls just be yourself, heal, find your happiness, and grow as a woman.
Literally like when I first heard of the whole soft life I immediately cringed. It's so corny.
Because you girls seem to have to see influencers(or someone pretty) do something first before it's ok. That's how this masculine thing started; beyonce,TLC, sex and the city influenced ladies to start man-hating. Now its tik tok
Annoyingggg. Exactly catering to degenerates. Be SOFT all yall want. We'll meet back her in 2 months and see ain't nothing changed.
Exactly when i was younger and did half of these “trends” they were looked down upon and i was made fun of. I couldn’t be soft and the “clean” look is coming back instead of all the overly done make up and hair.
@@Neo.Jordon how is saying to avoid bums and such considered "man hating". What did they say that is hateful towards men?
P.S the soft lif is not just financial stability but mental peace, trust and emotional support. Having a man that is a provider and a protector of you home health and heart be sure he is your peace too and not causing you stress, cheating and not putting you first.
Love this video as all the others queen!
I didnt even realize the soft life was afforded by a man. Most women who make those videos r single and promote setting yourself up financially n a way where u can rest but still provide for urself
Idk where these women got this idea of needing to be rich in order to be soft. There are so many ways to relax yourself and reconnect with femininity.
Got plenty of time to sit and watch TH-cam vids on “leveling up” and how to put on a feminine act to keep a man around. Especially if you’re single with no children.
But at the end of the day it’s all in the mind and your attitude towards your life, people and the world. Wether it be masculinity or femininity, it’s from within.
@@sunnyblue1244because of the recession we have now and hookup culture taking over traditional dating .
A real woman will show her feminity to a man that's worth it. Worth it means- like you said treat you like a queen, his vocabulary isn't words like "b!tch" or my girl when he mentions you, talks about building financially together, takes interest in your dreams, motivate you and give advice, show romance and chivalry, takes care of his kids not just with money but with time, and most of all DOESN'T ACT LIKE MAN CHILD! That softens up a woman. I should know- this man got me over here making his favorite salmon croquettes and baking cakes from scratch and I ain't never baked before 😂😂 he deserves it because of how he treats me
I HiGHLY HIGHLY doubt that a woman who’s with a man who is masculine, on his purpose, respectful, loving, genuine and leading that she would even find it natural to be masculine. Most women WANT to be the feminine women you describe, but they are with men who don’t allow that. I think femininity comes natural when the situation allows for it.
I have to respectufully disagree. Some women don't want the traditional feminine role. Some will try to compete with a provider. We just have to be honest some women are not made for this life.
Imagine a man saying "I need authentic, pure feminine energy around me, in order to allow my masculinity to flourish"
We would all call that BS... because it is. A masculine man, is masculine whether he is confronted w/ masculinity or in the face of femininity.
Same thing for women... some have really picked up masculine traits and
a)they don't understand/ appreciate why that's off putting to men
b) they don't recognize they're even doing it
@@a.g3322 I agree. However, what if they are passionate about their career. Some women are in competition and some aren’t. Everyone has a purpose in life. Some women are nurses but will still cook and clean at home. It boils down to the character and intentions of the woman.
This makes no sense. Nobody can MAKE you be something you aren’t. If you’re masculine then that’s who you are, if you are feminine then that’s who you are. No true feminine woman would even be attracted to a man with feminine traits.
Me as a man, if I’m a masculine man I wouldn’t be with a masculine woman because I’m not attracted to that behavior because the core of who I am will naturally push it away, but if I’m a feminine man naturally then I’ll convince myself that my masculine woman is forcing me to take on her feminine traits because that’s what she lacks. No. Absolutely not. People know what they like, they just don’t always like admitting it for whatever reason.
But can’t no woman force a true masculine man to be feminine. But a man who is naturally feminine will have no problem being with a masculine woman because he secretly likes it.
U think Denzel Washington’s wife is claiming she’s the masculine one in the relationship so therefore it forces him to bring out his “feminine” side??
I think if some are not used to it they will act against it
He immediately attacked her womanhood just because hes uncomfortable when she says bro and I've met men like this. They're not leaders at all. He's attributing that one small factor to her not being feminine but I'd say it's not very masculine to wear all that jewelry and get on live whining about your preferences either. His tone was very whiny don't matter if his voice deep or not.
He said more than bro he was giving examples
I disagree. That may be the only thing he said, but Erica is very masculine. I watched her interview on The 85 South show & she was very masculine on there, as well. It’s her overall demeanor…
When she talked about what she wants in her “friends” that was masculine too
@@tieraladiosa he knew that before he got with her. He just wanted to bash her on the internet to make himself feel better
@@myiahmc.3746 I’m sure he did…but that’s not my argument.
@@tieraladiosa I agree with your argument💯 she is very masculine you can tell by the way she talks. My point is why get with a woman that publicly presents herself masculine when you want a feminine woman
I feel like the reason is because women are finally becoming fully educated and can choose what they actually want. We are multi-faceted and more then gender roles and we are bigger then society. Everyone wants something different from the next. I’ve seen men say they want more aggressive women and I’ve seen women say they want more feminine men, before saying these things were deemed wrong and if a woman tried taking on any masculine role back then, she couldn’t. If a woman wanted to work and go to school, they couldn’t. Now, it’s a whole different ball park and no matter how long it’s been, I feel women are still getting used to this new found sense of freedom. No matter what you think is natural or not, I think woman finally having the choice to choose whether they want to be feminine and live that soft life or not is beautiful.
this is it! people need to understand that no gender is a monolith. men want different type of women, women want different type of men.
This has only become a choice because their are not a lot of men who are actually men these days so a lot of women are forcing themselves to do things that men are actually meant to do FOR them. A lot of these women that are doing this don’t really want to run 5 businesses AND cook and clean and be a wife and take care of children all at once.
Exactly!! I feel like she’s just using old stereotypes women get in the kitchen in cook. You know how many men are in culinary school, actually enjoy cooking and do it well! We all have free will!!
@@xonae6547 💯💯💯
@@SJP43 I think that y’all fail to realize those men are the exception to the rules. What she’s talking about is less of gender roles and more of expectations. Ask any men about what she’s said and she’s 100% spot on. These are the things my father has taught me, my uncles have told me and my cousins show me. She is not wrong and I think women need to not argue with the nature that is a man. No man wants to come home to a woman that also wants to be a man. Men also don’t care about your education and money you make, that’s why there’s so many single women.
As someone who spent most of their 20s being rough ASF and didn’t calm down until 24-25ish - she’s very correct. i still work but I’m much calmer and at peace and I find a balance. I’ve had a lot of conversations with men the last two years and from all walks of life they’ve said they can’t take the aggression and hostility.
NOW yes both genders have both feminine and masculine energy . It looks very different on everyone. Just how we’ve determined what toxic masculinity looks on men, we have to know what toxic masculinity looks on women also.
The goal is to heal. That is the real soft life. You have to get inside your subconscious mind. The childhood trauma and low self esteem and scarcity mindset to raise your vibrations. I have some masculine traits that I’ve learned to balance with my femininity. Like being more assertive when the situation calls for it and when i need to be more goal oriented and take action.
The journey looks different on everyone. ❤
Exactly!! I agree you definitely have to heal your trauma
Well said
this was me but at 24 yeah, I had to unlearn alot of things and be true to me.
Yes, I love this. Masculinity is not a bad thing, just needs balance
I needed channels like this. I grew up with a strong independent masculine woman and I did not have my father in my life so I was taught to be strong and independent like my mother. I learned the hard way that wasn’t what I wanted when I was lied to, abused, cheated on, and taken advantage of. Im currently in a relationship and it’s my first healthy relationship. Im still unlearning what I was taught by my mother and I’m practicing self care and putting myself first. Also I’m cleaning right now while listening to your videos.
Don't blame your mother, blame your father!
Same
If you went through all of that, it means that you were not 'truly strong and independent'.
This reminds me of a TikTok I saw where a man interviewed a couple, he asked both of them what they did he went on naming all his achievements and real estates. When they asked her she said she was a stay at home mom, even though she owns a company herself. He looked so proud and happy you could tell he adores her, and she really doesn’t have to work if she doesn’t want to
I love this
I love that for her 🥲❤
I don't understand this, why did she lie?
Not “quite frankly this is not for y’all”😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭
I hate when they paint black women as “strong black women”. I am not a strong black woman. I would never take on that narrative or see that as a compliment. It pains me when I see my sisters clap and praise that behavior. All of the masculinas can have it 💕
Right!
How can he provide this thing so called “soft life” when he’s a gangster and anytime you are with him your life is in danger. I find nothing soft or easy about dating a rapper especially a street dude.
Heavy on the life in danger, damn near gotta be bucked up
Don’t matter if you street or a rapper or just a simple rich entrepreneur. If you got what others want or need then your life is in danger.
I agree but her point was all types of men want truly feminine women. Like her video with Durk, Durk dosen’t provide a soft life either but he likes India because she’s feminine and soft
@@EarCandyAsmr What makes a female who hangs around gang members feminine and soft? Is it because she wears lace fronts, acrylics and makeup? Is it because she has a lack of boundaries? Is it because she is silent about the toxic , heinous, narcissist antics of Dirk that makes her feminine? Dirk likes the fact that she’s great narcissistic supply. She feeds his need for validation, attention, control, strokes his weak fragile narcissistic ego. That’s all that’s it. This has nothing to do with femininity.
@@EarCandyAsmr- the problem is these men want a feminine woman but do absolutely nothing to create a relationship or a community where femininity can thrive.
I really love this video, and your take on femininity and I agree it’s not just dressing up and going to brunch. It’s meditating and being in tune with yourself, it’s not chasing but attracting. When I started meditating everyday and doing yoga I really started doing my makeup every day and putting on lashes and putting all of my outfits together for the week and putting myself first. And it was for me because I enjoyed it and not to get anything out of it. I also attracted a different type of man in a good way and men want to take care of me even just little things like getting free coffee or getting drinks sent over to me. But the only downside is woman don’t really like me as much as they used to, when I was in my masculine energy I had so many friends but didn’t get a lot of attention from men or it would be the men who were in there feminine energy. Great video as always! You deserve so many more subscribers I can tell you really take your time with your videos ❤
I LOVE THIS!!! do you just do normal meditation or someone who talks to you? how did you started putting yourself first?
@@ericamanser1190 hi love sorry for the late reply. Just start with mediations from TH-cam every morning, then add it to your night routine ❤️
I admire this channel. I’ve been single 5 years and still in the healing process, I’m growing , learning , appreciating my self more everyday. I’m learning a lot from you , love all the messages and thanks Wildheart .
Men set the tone, so if a woman feels unsafe, she will step up in any way to protect herself.
Omg, i was thinking why is there a LABEL and TREND for EVERYTHING! With this, its mornal self care and enjoying yourself.
This hit home for me. Up until recently, I’ve been operating in my masculine. I would always attract feminine men. Now that I rest in my femininity, I no longer even look in the direction of men like that. It doesn’t even appeal to me.
As a person who grew up with a single mom ( my dad died when I was 5) I never got to experience my mom’s femininity, she had to be a man , even left us for months on end because she was working hours from home, she came home every 3 months like she was deployed or something . So It’s really a struggle yall, im just glad im aware of my short comings and I do my best to work on it
Same I grew up with a single mom after my dad got deported. She wasn’t feminine whatsoever
Beautiful! A clear breakdown of what this "soft life" is all about. God has called me to be intentional about dating and becoming a more feminine woman over the last 2 years. I was raised by a single mother and while my grandparents were married until my papa passed away, my nana was the bread winner. Therefore, I naturally became an Alpha woman. Always being rewarded for my perfect grades and talents. I never knew anything else but how to be "strong, ambitious and a go-getter". I am so thankful for this rhetoric that has been going around online and in society today. I am highly aware the necessity of being a feminine woman now and I am so grateful for educators like yourself who are ordained to bring us back to how God created us to be. 💕
She’s ratchet. Being ratchet isn’t being feminine. Nails, weave, dressing half naked,makeup, lashes, *DOES NOT* equate femininity. Black women need to understand this.
Women* stop putting black women down! It’s just not us
What if femininity means something different for every woman?
@@jasmineportis8206 be quiet!!! I’m a black woman. That’s *WHO* I’m talking about! Take accountability, that’s your problem.
@@Lovelesslouvre cut the bs. Ratchets think they’re feminine.
I 100% agree with this video! I have noticed with this "soft life" era (as I heard some else say the soft lie era), seems very vanity and material driven. Femininity is not only equal to luxury clothing brands, 5 star restaurants, expensive trips, makeup and hair always slayed. There is absolutely nothing wrong enjoying those things and treating yourself. Can you be feminine woman while being glamorous and enjoying luxury, yes! My thing is, not all but a number of women that fit that aesthetic and give off the most masculine energy. Now, two things can be true at once, I believe femininity is a "look" and also is about character and energy, but having a feminine character and energy definitely outweighs a feminine "look". The videos you showed and the ones I've seen, the women in their "soft girl" era have the same aesthetic and are hyper focused on the feminine "look" ( like I said before the 5 star restaurants and luxury items). It is like they are copying each other but in the same breath say they are "authentic"🤣. Rule #1, if you are genuinely trying to become a softer/feminine woman, don't broadcast about it and just do it! Lead with mystery. To be honest, this just comes off as another social media trend to me.
(PS: To my fellow ladies, on their feminine journey this comment is not for you.)
Why isn't this woman at 100K subscribers yet?! Giving all the game! Started my own "soft" journey about 5 years ago and it completely transformed my life. I get so much more out of my life and relationships now due to reclaiming my time and putting me first. Wildheart blessing us with the facts!! When you said "If you taking care a man he's living the soft life that's supposed to be for you" whew! baybeeeeee that hit home!! I grew up seeing a lot of "I can do bad all by myself, I am the table" type women and they were always taking care of their men like children. No wonder they were always burned out and were treated as "one of the boys" by their men.
Always a huge red flag to me when a man doesn't contribute to or has an issue with you beautifying yourself and your life. Broke it off with a guy once because he thought me keeping my nails done, getting facials, loc retwist, and prioritizing time with friends/family/prayer on a bi weekly basis was me trying to "entice other men" lol I was confused and responded with "the women I'm around and myself included considers these things basic upkeep" he tried to argue with me. I had some people call me petty for cutting him off but I wasn't interested in dating men who want to be treated like a prized "bad B***h". The man I'm with now is a hardworking masculine provider, loves how put together I am and gives me money freely to keep it up because he loves me looking and feeling my best.
The way the "soft life aesthetic" is promoted online gives me diet boss b***h vibes dressed up as a spa days and designer bags which I hate because that's not what it's about. I agree with everything you said and absolutely loved how you broke down what having a "soft life" really looks like for black women specifically. So eloquently put without being belittling.
Honestly, i wouldn’t say I’m masculine.. but my mother wasn’t feminine so she never showed me.. i don’t know what to do sometimes i want to be this feminine black woman but I never had the guidance so I’m kinda stuck but i’m come here to educate myself.. loved this video! ❤️🔥
Focus on self. Get in tune with making a peaceful life that you enjoy. Set goals and live in your truth. Once you get in tune with yourself you will determine for yourself what femininity is.
@@chloelincoln9095 thank you ☺️
A tip i have is quietly observe average white women. I learned a ton just knowing a few of them. They’re in a different world you will soon see, they have been living this life for centuries. They are even automatically living in a higher vibration than most black ppl, because their lives are so effortless. They are groomed from birth how to rest in their feminine, receptive energy, even though that’s probably not what they call it. They are analyzing and planning and picking and practicing men from young ages. I wasn’t taught anything about this at any time. They don’t even walk the same
@@gtg488w it’s sad how alot of black women were failed? How fan we fix this issue ?
Same here! Which is why I’m ingrained to not have a relationship until I’m fully established. Stock investments, own car, own home, own space, fit athletic body, clear skin, better hair, a high paying job, and a side hustle!
Idk...I just wanna be myself.
I admit I'm 8 times out of 10 in my masculine energy because I wait for no one when it comes to taking care of my business. I'm very independent and hate asking for anything.
At the same time, when around other women, children, or men that I feel safe around, my feminine energy comes out. I want to nurture, listen, talk, serve, or be submissive. I do want to change my circumstances so that I can be in my feminine energy more often.❤️
I think in general, a lot of women reject what we call femininity because of how we label "soft life", femininity and womanhood as a society, outside of social media. Societal programming has told women, black women in particular, that being our authentic full selves is inferior - that we must chop and change, forcing an image of ourselves that isn't true to us - to be desirable to a group of people who would fuck a rotten apple core. In general, we see the characteristics that are associated with femininity - being receptive, attracting and not chasing, allowing ourselves to be protected by boundaries, being wild and moving with our bodies - following intuition and emotion - demonised.
No wonder women are confused. We are going up against all forms of attack, from everywhere - giving us conflicting messages.
We know we need to earn money for our livelihoods, but sometimes it doesn't work for our bodies to go at it all the time, and there is little to no provision for alternative lifestyles, mental health/physical health assistance, holistic maternity care, postpartum care, care for the menstruating/menopausal woman, those with PCOS, and other hormonal/bodily issues in most countries.
We want a man to love and support us, but we're called lazy if we don't want to work, plus we're led to believe that we aren't worthy of that anyway, because of x,y,z, and look at how the men around us - of all races, and ages are abusing and abandoning women - how many truly healthy relationships has the average person seen?
We want to be dress in a style that we love, and would suit us - but if we wear this, its too slutty, or too grown, or inappropriate, or prudish, or too much, or too little, or not for us - according to other people's standards.
Look at how we call people lazy, when they take time out for themselves, how both women and men reject the beauty of menstruation and women taking time for their bodies to rest, and simply be. Look at how hard we go for hustle culture - with these CEOs and business owners who are only looking to buy another home in Dubai, constantly telling folks they should be making money and working every single day, no matter how they feel.
On top of that, there are a large portion of women who have not had good men in their space or community, or been able to experience the joy of proper community systems, outside of broken nuclear families, to assist with the burden of life, full of well-rounded, heart-centered emotional, physical and financial providers. So, in order to support themselves and/or their families with no other choice, women have had to go into survival mode.
Extreme masculinity in women, is a product of trauma, in which her life experiences have shown her that life is not safe and she requires constant defense - because of the danger of r*pe, physical attack, envy from men and women, the need to support a family by herself, abandonment wounds, mental health issues, etc. As someone who is doing the work, it is very difficult to go against not only millenniums of programming, but personal trauma, in order to get to be truly receptive to 'soft life' and rest in my feminine. It is a lot easier and less traumatic to stay on the defense and not work through years and decades of pain, especially when you're not in a physically good place. It is a lot easier to be 'harsh' and overly aggressive to keep our minds and bodies safe, in a world where life is not always fair.
This was such a great read. Thank you for your commenting! ❤️
Wow, this is very well said. 👏🏾 I have to add that as black women we have always been labeled masculine since slavery, we’re put under the same system as men and treated as such. We highlight how relationships operated back then without showing the dark side and the oppression women went through then. Soft life is not necessarily something we’re advocating for to GET a man but for OURSELVES regardless of who’s there or not. Another term for self love.
As a man I 1000% agree , No sane man wants to come home to a women just as masculine as him and be expected to cater and provide for her masculine energy 💯
What steps are you going to take to ensure that she can be a feminine woman in her relationship and her community?
Love this! I was in my masculine for so long until I met a real man who allowed me to just be. I see now how manly and disrespectful I was bc I was dealing with weak men. It will actually calm your whole spirit and change your whole outlook when you give up the “strong black woman” trope. ❤ remember being feminine does not mean you can’t defend yourself or guard your heart that’s why there should be a balance of energies within all of us. sending you all light and love 💕
I'm a man who was raised by an "Alpha Female" type mother. Sometimes I wonder if some black women can't help but have a hardcore male dominate alpha mindset because they never really had no other option....To them it's about survival.
Yes! I love this. I just turned 21 recently and I’ve been working on becoming a more feminine young woman in all aspects. It definitely feels more natural to operate from the divine feminine.
Spot on as always! And that’s also why vetting is so important. Toxic men of any sort will slowly but surely unravel your feminine energy & softness (Even if they are providers) VET THESE NINJAS and be quick to move on when red flags present themselves. Took me so long to learn this but it works like a charm!
Yes same here‼️ I learned about this LATER in life
Vet these ninjas!! 🥷🏿 love this. Thank you as always for your support! ❣️✨
I watch at least a video from this Channel everyday. ❤❤❤
💗💗💗🥲✨
I believe that men want WHATEVER energy they feel is needed for when it’s convenient for THEM. You gotta be able to play both for them to seem satisfied. Maybe Finesse got out and had an epiphany cuz come on lol 🤷🏾♀️
name an instance in which men would want masculinity out of their women? you'll be hard pressed to find a lot if any men that say they want masculinity from their women..EVER.
So years ago I remember having a convo with one of my male cousins..I asked why did you end things with the mother of your child for this new woman. He said she wasn't feminine, on the other hand this new woman was and he liked that. He wasn't a street guy just knew what he wanted,and that conversation helped me develop into the woman I am today.
He wasn't married to the mother of his child?
Why did he choose to have a child with a woman who he did not consider feminine?
I would like to preface that i love your videos. My only issue with the way "soft life" pushed is that it focuses a lot more on physical materialistic attributes rather that the whole picture. Which would not even be much of an issue if it were not for the fact that a lot of women that aspire to have a "soft life" cannot afford to do so. So I do disagree with saying that women that don't aspire to have a soft life are trying to compete with men, at least not all of them. A large majority of average regular working women are just trying to survive and provide for their families because either the mans salary is not enough to sustain both of them or they are just not as privllaged to find a provider.
Also, while I agree that if one partner is providing, the other one should strive to keep the home proper and kept, it is unfair and honestly unrealistic to expect the woman to keep herself 100% polished for her man, run him baths, cook for him while also working a full time job and raising kids if they have any.(This is if both partners are working full time jobs)
As always, i love your well articulated thoughts, and I am excited for more of your content!
This!! I was looking for a comment like this one ❤
Agreed
I asked TH-cam to notify me and they didn’t but I’m still going to go and check for myself so that I can support your channel. ❤
Ok so it’s not just me because they haven’t notified me for any of her videos, and I have it turned on.
Spot on! I’m married and been with my husband for 11 years. This is spot on!!! Always keep it cute ladies always. Not materialistic. Real spiritual men don’t like materialistic women but keep your self cute and plain. Not too much make up or weave and if it is weave braids and natural weave styles. Natural as possible.
Thissss yes ma’am 🔥💯💯💯 god bless you and your husband
For me, I realized there were instances where I thought I was being helpful and ultimately I was being emasculating. Taking charge to get things done my way when I wanted then not really considering my partner or how he felt. Patience goes a long way.
therez nothing called a soft life these women need to know that what you dont pay for with hard work and effort you pay with your soul honey....
Nothing can change how I present myself in relationships. I cater and communicate and always open to change. I had to get better that boundaries and vetting. Your channel is a great source for self reflection.
I’m not shocked she’s masculine homegirl basically talked about how she wants her women to be that’s very masculine. All these ig girls and rappers are very masculine and aggressive they talk about their private parts and cussing the difference is Erica isn’t a top pick she’s not all that nor is she white or spicy so she needs to get it together. I think Erica thinks she’s different then what she actual is that’s why it’s important to look in the mirror.
Girl the title itself is a whole BAR, it's 2022 and us women need clarity more than anything, thank you for this breakdown 🙏🏾
I made whitening fish and vegetable white rice yesterday. It was delicious 😋. Then, I proceeded to clean my room and got my nails done. It was a vibe. 💄
I’m so happy Queen Chioma recommended your channel. It’s the best
Same she brought me here too
This is why I love your channel ! You didn’t sugar coat anything
When a man can protect and provide baby he will get the most feminine women out of me! 😍
Until then it’s giving crickets. 🤐🤐
Yessssss!!!! @wildheartwaves Hit every single nail on the head!
This message may go over a lot of heads.
Thanks Sis! Love this. Sending more love from the UK 🇬🇧🫶🏽🙌🏿💚
Sending love to UK! 🇬🇧 💜✨
Two videos in a week? We are blessed. I love your channel so much❣
I click so fast when my notifications went off‼️😂
This video was very much needed… they shame women for wanting to be soft and call us “lazy”
I really really love this channel.
A lot has been learnt and I agree with everything you've said
🥹💖
I literally have no words or comments You hit every valid point to the tee. Bravo Queen 💕
Mine was a provider but not a protector, I had to move on 9 yrs together , we taught each other a lot , we jus out grow the situation, now 2 yrs later and i been doing it all on my own , I’m ready to date and be back in my soft life 🙌🏾 jus Kant rush it.
I see a wild heart waved video, I click immediately! Thank you for this!
Most of the things that Americans have added to soft life has nothing to do with What Nigerians women ment when they started saying it
I don't always enjoy the masculinity/femininity conversation because it relies too much on outdated gender roles. But, people are gonna want who they want and I can't blame them for that.
I'm a lesbian, and I like all types of women. Masculine women, feminine women. But I do prefer feminine women and can see why someone else would prefer them too.
“Soft life is more than dressing up for TikTok videos and showing monotone rooms” 😩
For me, my yoga is weighlifting. I can't get in the zone while doing yoga cuz my flexibility issues snap me out of it instantly. I dont know if anyone feels the same but hearing what the soft life REALLY is is so validating to me. Social media is crazy shallow it makes me feel like I'm the crazy one. I thought I was crazy for doing exactly what you said to cultivate the soft life with your man: cultivating a peaceful state of mind, taking care of yourself and toning down agression. I can't thank you enough for acknowledging the agression in the first place, I thought I was some crazy person since I have to put my best foot forward to give my man the energy that I wanna give him.
This channel gives me such positive vibes honestly, it doesn't make me feel stupid for wanting LOVE instead of just being a sugar baby but you keep it real and don't feed us delusions! Like how if you want a provider, and to keep him, you gotta put in the work. And you acknowledge that it is WORK.
This is true my husband pulled me from work so i can attend to our children and him when he comes home from work and i give him exactly what he want without compromising myself. I love it because it makes a peaceful life for everyone in our home.
You’re right it’s femininity aka divine feminine. Soft life is the trendy TikTok term 😂😂😂 …….. a lot of the people talking about it did not study nor tap into their divine femininity . I love this channel 💙👑
I love your videos. I TRULY try to pick up everything you’re putting down so I can navigate my personal and romantic life better. I’m 22 and growing but I’m trying to heed as much as I can to avoid as many pitfalls as possible. Thank you for these videos always!!! 💜💜💜
Of course TH-cam didn’t notify me. But I’m here for the gems! 🧡
Can y’all stop confusing cultural gender roles for evolutionary psychology? This stuff is not inherent
I 10000X agreeed!!! Ate and left no crumbs because this is perfect and it just blends in what soft life really stands for. ❤ love your content because truly… you break it down to the point it’s just adds together & makes so much sense. Keep the content going ! 🥂
Hey Merrisha! I appreciate you. 💕❤️✨
Another Great video!! Thank you for the knowledge you always bring us 🙏🏾💯❤️ I have been working on my feminine side!!! I love being soft and peaceful! I’m only 21 and single and bout to graduate college. Im really working on myself to make sure I’m good for my future husband 🙏🏾
I can’t wait until we get past these masculine and feminine roles and go towards accepting androgynous roles. We should all have a little masculinity in us and all be a little soft. We have seen how these roles play out and most of the time it ends up being about control instead of love. Just be YOURSELF I can’t stress it enough 😑
When someone breaks into your house are you going to wait for you and your man to decide who deals with it w these androgynous roles…or do you want your man to take charge, knowing that your safety and security is HIS RESPONSIBILITY.
I get what you saying but I’m sure you won’t want ambiguity about what your mans responsibilities are in certain situations…if y’all are destitute, no one is looking at you like “WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR FAMILY ON YHE STREETS”…they looking at him. Because it’s his role to be a protector and provider…if you find yourself in that position (god forbid) you won’t be appreciative of this androgynous ambiguous roles. You’ll want a man that takes charge and lead…
@@safariboomin4313 Someone can break into my house, when my man is not there. Therefore, I need to be self efficient enough to know how to protect myself, WITHOUT A MAN. Yes, I would hope my man would defend me, as I would try to do him, but I wouldn’t sit back and wait on it babe. You seem so quick to accept these Patriotic ideologies, but don’t realize the pressure a provider puts on a man. Every man is not successful, let's be realistic, so your telling me a man with a 9-5, cannot split bills with his women, who is fully capable of getting a job? A man who does not "run" the household is less of one? Men are people, they use to be these little cute babies that needed love, reassurance, and PROVIDERS, just like us. The stress we continuously put on them to uphold characteristics that are dividing us, is upsetting. Men crash out trying to be everything while their women sits back and complains about what else the family needs. Marriages break, love turns into control, all because men are left taking care of another grown adult for the rest of their life. Men can be providers and still respect their partner as an equal, We need to normalize strong RECIPROCAL relationships. WAKE UP!
Lol it’s already androgynous , that’s why men don’t wanna pay for the first date anymore and think their wife should work during pregnancy 🙌🏾
@@safariboomin4313 guns exist....both a woman and a man can own one. Whoever gets to the gun first is who shoots lmao
@@pussydestroyer69285 you being contrarian for the sake of it. You know damn well gun or no gun most women world wide would want their man to take control of that situation. Women generally find provision and PROTECTION as attractive in males. If your man hides in the corner while you in an altercation you’ll find him less attractive
Plz address how this soft life can easily become a control factor. Take this soft life and COLD BED. Or sweet things in life but sour lies often. I love soft life but balance is needed. My masculine will pop up if played with.
To live a soft life you have to be born wealthy or married to a 100% provider. Wish every woman had this option. Lemme tell my landlord I deserve a soft life and I shouldn’t have to work to pay him….where I’m gonna be ….on da streets. #Concreteain’tsoft
I love this channel but when it comes to these men I really don’t care about what they want because it’s all lies he may not want her to call him gang but he wants a man TRUST ME!
Are you are heterosexual woman? I think it’s dangerous to generalize all men as liars; this sounds like trauma. I never understood not wanting to understand what men want if you are attracted to them. This is why I ask if you are into men? Can you elaborate a little more please. ❤
@@WildheartWaves elaboration; women of all walks of life have the same experiences with these “men” they seem to be the most confused and we women who often know what we want from the age of 13 are being forced to dissect every thought and moves these lost soul make it’s like this really can’t be real
@@WildheartWaves and atp I’m not sure I even like these “men” if what I’ve seen in my 30 years of life is what they have to offer
@@WildheartWaves It’s never a case of are women attracted to men it’s are they attracted to us??????? Lol like really.
@@StushgyalTV to me it’s more so “do they even like women?” A lot of men dislike women and only want us for bodies and labour.
It’s exhausting, I’ve given up on men.
Women equate money with being the leader. Money is only one form of security. Men lead by example. No woman can raise a boy into a man, the correct way. Women stopped valuing the family dynamic and placed all of their value on money. Money can’t teach your son how to pee, play basket ball, teach him how to fight, how to talk to another man, how to treat women from a MANS perspective, how to raise a family, how to protect your family and wife from danger. Certain things a degree from college can’t teach your son or even protect a woman from.
They wanna be equal to men so bad until it’s time to grab that blicky in the middle of the night, when you hear a loud noise from the bedroom. That money won’t give you the comfort late at night when you’re going through problems at your job and you just want your man to listen to you vent. Money won’t tell you he loves you when you gained some pounds.
Money can do a lot of things, but the needs women crave naturally, money and a degree won’t be able to provide it.
This was an excellent perspective & it speaks to the Protector aspect of a man that is a Leader. Thank you for commenting!
You’re talking bout a very specific type of woman. Don’t generalize just to make a point
You said a lot in this video. I think it’s great for women to rest in their femininity. I just don’t see the need to announce it. I also think with the desire to be more feminine it shouldn’t be done just to get or keep a man it’s actually a life lesson. With being softer on your self it gives you grace to take a lighter approach on life and relationships. All of it should be done to better yourselves.
What is supposed to be the definition of feminine energy to ppl tho? Cus I’m not a prissy girly girl & being a tomboy is a thing. I don’t think ppl should change themselves just for a certain lifestyle. Upgrading yeah but changing not really Cus then you’re pretending to be something you’re not.
I love all your videos and thank you for speaking love into life to us❤ “A Nation can rise no higher than it’s woman”
A lot of the women that talk about a ‘soft life’ don’t even do 1/3 of the things you listed - keep thier hair done, maintain a good physique and clean bill of health, good etiquette ect. for themselves so when they get into real relationships they are exhausted because they’ve been faking it the entire time
I just simply enjoy ANYTHING you put out.
Thank you so much!! 💖
• Listen , talk Queen talk. I had a conversation with someone about this. I grew up with a mom as a housewife. a supporter and a feminine energy. always kept herself up. made sure my step father has everything he needed when he came home. barely argued because she would listen. i aways told myself i will have that. i refuse to overwork myself and compete where i don't fit. it's okay ladies to let your guard down and act like you so needy. we know if that man left today youll be fine. but allow a man to do what a man is supposed to do ( not speaking on those who stay when being cheated on or abused. leave that now sis ) but a man who is taking care of home and protecting. it's okay to be quiet and let him have the last word. if you want peace you have to seek it as well.
Always dropping gems
Well said, Preach. Provider men will take care of their woman and family with honor ❤️
I've been on my feminine journey for the last 2 years and I have bagged some major providers and have been treated with so much love and tenderness. I love it here
Whew this channel is highly UNDERRATED 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 thanks for another GREAT video!
Thank you so much Ashani! 💕✨
I love this 💕💕💕💕💕💕you talking that peaceful life and love for self and your man the traditional balanced life I'm new here and I love it I'm glad I came across this
One thing I don't like about some of these men nowadays is that they love to compete with women, but not men. But, other than that I agree with a lot you said. Real men deserves it all.
I'm all for resting in my femininity.. however I must admit that I STILL STRUGGLE w/ diving head first into my masculinity when I feel disrespected and when I feel like I'm repeating myself about not being handled w/ the same treatment I'm expected to give. I literally lose it and get really aggressive when I'm met w/ those scenarios. How do you remain in your femininity in those instances??
Girl that's quite normal.
@@melteddarkchocolate000 yeah?? I hope so bc this whole femininity thing is something I’m still learning and it’s moreso for myself.. I just wana be a better version of myself so I thought maybe the way I respond to being gaslit and not listened to and disrespected was too masculine or somethin 😂 I’m like if there’s a better way to handle it I’m down to learn but for now, that’s all I know lol
Being disrespected is a time for action (which to me, is what masculine energy is) and to remember your boundaries in order to protect your essence - ie. letting someone know that you are not going to be spoken to like that. If they continue, you leave the space, to protect your peace, or carry on with what you have to do. When a mother bears cubs are being harmed, she moves. You do the same, but look in your past, and at your belief system, to understand why you get *overly* aggressive. These are rhetorical questions, that might be worth journalling or asking yourself: Growing up, were you heard when you felt angry? How does it make you feel when you're expected to give the same treatment that you don't receive? Is this a patten you've endured since childhood?
Defending yourself if being disrespected is NOT masculine energy. That’s normal to defend yourself. So you’re gonna let someone disrespect u because of “the soft girl life”.. oh please🙄🙄
It depends on the person and what they mean to you I don’t allow people to take me out of my character. I’ve learned if a person is constantly triggering me it may not be meant for me to deal with. I’ve started to operate from a place of love and not be hurtful in my communication. If I’m upset I’ll say I can’t communicate about this issue until I calm down this helps me not say unnecessary hurtful words and communicate effectively. I’ve adopted this with all of the people in my not just a person I’m in a relationship with.
omgg you`re the best commentary yt channel imo. delivery , analysis and critical reasoning skills are A1! you truly have more than just 5 senses.
This is pure facts right here ! I love it
Definitely a great example! Another gem🌻💕
All your talking points was on Point..Ladies you can’t have it Both Ways..
wildheart waves word really bond lmfaooo im taking all this into 2023
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I'm so glad I was taught to be feminine from birth. I have never spoken to any man like I would my woman friends and family. It's offensive. And I'm not being spoken to like a man, either. Don't call me bruh, dude or gang. I'm ignoring you. I cook, I clean, and I cater to my man. In turn he provides, protects and loves me like no other. It's not about what I'm wearing. I can have on sweats, a oversized t-shirt and my hair tied up. But I'm smelling good, my skin's glowing and my nails are always done which is what he likes. I'm old fashioned and he loves it. ❤️
Love me some wild heart, always on point and never biased!
Okay I love your channel and your videos always make me think. I get your point in this video and agree that we too, as black women, deserve soft marriages and relationships and there does need to be less negativity when it comes to our views on love. However I do believe a relationship can be soft and equal. History has proven that most women’s reality once they choose to become a house wife or give a man complete control in a relationship is overwhelming. Women take on most on the basic house hold hassles, like kids,laundry,clothes, meals, groceries. On top of their own careers, for some women, when men choose to take on some responsibilities to let the women they love breathe I think it’s beautiful and really shows respect. I don’t think a man feeling equal to the women he loves destroys his masculinity, and I definitely don’t believe a women is less feminine because she demands the relationship feel equal sorry 🫣
You're so wise.
You’re always on point with your content! So wise, thanks sis. 💟
A video suggestion would be a topic on Armon and Reginae, I would love to hear your opinion on people commenting on their relationship, calling him feminine, a simp and much more because of how he treats her and comparing her last relationship to Lucci who is considered a street ninja
❤️
I’d like to go on record of saying that you’ve completely changed my dating life. Not just my dating life, but my personal perception of myself as well. Your videos are God sent and I’m so grateful to have this shared knowledge.
❤️❤️❤️✨🫶🏽