Are you on the "AROMANTIC" Spectrum // SIGNS to know if you’re AROMANTIC
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.ย. 2024
- Hey everyone. I wanted to make a video today to talk about the signs of being Aromantic. Hopefully it will be able to help someone who's struggling with understanding themselves a little better.
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I’ve been struggling with the term aroace bc I knew I felt something towards people but I didn’t know if that was romantic or sexual plus when I was little and now I imagine my future living with my friends in an apartment, but never with a partner, but then I discovered the other types of attraction (platonic, queer platonic, aesthetic, etc…) and that moment was like “WOW, I just discovered a new way of feelings… cool” and now I know that ✨the feeling✨ was friendship
I'm so happy that you had your moment!! It's such a relief when you finally understand what all your feelings were for so long!! 😊💕
I only like some romance in books or movies sometimes.
I’m always so emotional when it comes to books or movies and their relationships! It’s like a weird thing where I envy it but don’t know how I’d react in the situation.
@@RogersRegularShow I just find it interesting and Im happy if my favorite characters are happy 😂
@@anjachanexactly! But deep down you never actually relate to the romantic aspect or crave that feeling for yourself, exept the sexual parts maybe? Does this sound like you?
@@Movietuff yeah it´s like other storys I only like reading about. I don´t want it for myself.
I like romance books but I can’t relate that to myself at all
This is a great video!! As an aroace myself, I always doubt my identity since I don't exactly fit into what is expected of an aro/ace spec. Like, I enjoy romance in Books/Shows, confused squishes and crushes on multiple friends, etc. But this showed more signs that I never thought about and definitely relate to. So, thank you very much for that! It really helps.
And to any of you watching who have difficulty accepting yourself, just know that everybody's' experience is different and that we are all not the same, and we all don't check the same box. I know quite hypocritical, but I am working on it.
Have a great day/night everyone!
(And btw I just stumbled upon this channel thanks to my recommended. You seem like a very nice and humble person and I will certainly be watching more of your videos in the future :D)
You're absolutely AMAZING, thank you so much for sharing your experience! It will surely help a lot of people out there 💕❤️
I’m 15, and to be honest, I really am 30% convinced I’m aromantic because like I have never once had a crush and every time I thought it did it was just a platonic friendship. I could relate to pretty much everything on the list, seeing people kiss makes me uncomfortable, I have literally no desire to hold hands, dating or anything like that. I mean I know that that may change soon but I kinda hope it stays this way.
You're young, so like you said "it may change" but it may not. I think it's good to allow yourself to stay open but also know it's okay if it stays the same. I'm glad I get to be a part of your life and journey.
@@RogersRegularShow Tbh either way, it changes nothing, I just want to enjoy my life either with someone, or with friends. I'll just see where life goes. I'm thinking of really being sure once High School ends because by that point to hormones have finally started to cool down. XD
I feel the exact same. I'm 15, I'm 30% sure I'm aromantic, but since I'm so young I'm not going to say for a fact that I'm aromantic. I'm going to go on with life and see what happens.
Yall are literally me rn😭 I definitely think im on the aro spectrum but only time will tell
How do you feel now? Did anything change?
So ik im asexual but idk if im aroace too.
Plz help.
Ive had plenty of crushes, but when i really think about it i, realized that i diddent want to kiss or cuddle or anything really.
Ive felt left out becouse all of my friends got gfs or bfs, and i felt so wierd for not even trying to get a romantic partner.
Ive allways felt like "romance" was really just deep friendship, and i though that you would automatically "unlock romance", if you
knew someone well enough
Also kissing kinda freaks me out, i cant envision myself kissing smo, and i have no idea why. Ive watched shows where people my age (15) kiss, and i simply dont understad how they enjoy it.
I actually really relate to this alot omg
I think I'm aromantic, as well as asexual, but it took me a while to figure out because I still have a libido.
I feel so comforted by this video, because I've been invalidating my aromanticism for 8 years now. It's time I finally acknowledge myself and love myself as is.
I'm so happy to hear that, it's so important to love yourself as you are!!
Idk abt some of these.
Pda can be enjoyed in purely sexual and platonic contexts. Not being able to interpret flirting or an inability to flirt can just be a sign of Autism. And you can still love the idea of romance for others, but not in practice for yourself. I love romance in media and for other people because it's like fantasy for me.
I appreciate it, it's good to have others give their opinions and thoughts. It makes learning a whole lot easier!!
Bro im trying to figure out if im aromantic or not. It would be really nice if you could tell me if thats aromantisicm.
So first of all, when i watch movies & think about marriage, kissing, holding hands, asking a girl out or flowers, i find it "cringe" and kinda disgusting.
However i have crushes but usually on celebrities and older people than me but the reason of that is because im sexually attracted to them and i know they can't be my gf lmao. But Like if i ever have a "crush" on someone, i only have because im sexually attracted to them and i dont want to marry them or smth.
Also i really would prefer to be single because i really dont like the romantic relationships. Idk, when i think about living with my gf, the only good thing i can imagine is that i will have sexual attraction with her. So if someone ever forces me to have a relationship with someone, i would prefer a hot girl rather than an "ugly" one with good personality.
Do you think im on the aromantic spectrum?
you may be on the aromantic spectrum but I can't truly know, it's something you will really have to know about yourself. I'd say based on what you said, it may be true cause you seem to know your feelings and it points in that direction.
One thing that helped me figure out that I'm on the aro spectrum was to look at some of the microlabels for aromanticism and delve deeper into the split attraction model. And to remember that not all people who are aromantic are also asexual (and vice versa!). There are so many different ways to be aro-spec and what it looks like and feels like for one person may be completely different to how it looks and feels for another. That being said, it can also help to listen to other people's stories and content and see if anything vibes with you, but ultimately, it's really only something you can decide for yourself.
This is wonderful! As a therapist who's aroace myself and wants to help folks like me, this is a great resource I want to offer clients to look at! One thing that also feels important to mention is just how much people (been there, done that) try to force relationships to make them work because of an innate desire for companionship and confusing that for romantic desire. And thus feeling kinda broken or lost because, I mean, why in the world can't I make a relationship work the way others do? I just offer this to say that anyone who's reading this? You're not broken. Not at all.
Thank you so much for this and your kind words, sometimes you just need to know you're not alone and you're not broken.
I go back and forth between "greyromantic asexual" and "oriented aroace", as I do experience strong platonic (and other forms of) attraction and bonds to people that can mimic a romantic relationship from the outside looking in. I'm just not really inclined to do things like hold hands or kiss or go on conventional dates.
I'm currently in a semi-long-distance relationship with my long-time partner. I was the one who asked them out initially when we were in our early 20s, though our relationship from the inside hasn't changed much since the "we were just friends" to "we're dating".
I personally don't mind romance in books or movies, but I generally don't seek it out. I'm really not a fan of overly sexualized stuff, but a wholesome romantic comedy is fine and one of my favorite movies of all time could easily be classified as a rom-com.
During middle school and high school, I was definitely very confused as to what constituted a "crush", as I thought it was a mix of aesthetic (and/or intellectual) attraction and "this person would make a good friend". The few "crushes" I've had have all been that variety and I didn't have any that were strong enough to act on until the one that led to my current (and only) "romantic" relationship.
Thank you so much for giving an insight into your own experience. So nice to see and hopefully it will help others as well.
Romantic confusion for me is on par w/ sexual confusion, all the relationships I've been in have been unsatisfying and it's like are they that way because aro or am aro because unsatisfying relationships? Anyway thank you for making these videos, I really appreciate everyone participating in this discussion because just having the language to describe this has already made a huge difference for me
I think it's very important to have these discussions, we're all learning and it's a lot easier to go through the process of learning whenever you have others to talk to... happy I get to part of it.
i think i found out I am aroace. the first girl i ever dated i thought i liked her… but when she first kissed me, i felt NOTHING. No sparks, no butterflies, nothing. If anything I was uncomfortable. I felt as if I had to fake liking it. So when I broke up with her i felt free and came out as aroace, but when I did everyone already knew. They knew from how much i defended aroace characters and how I got grossed out at romance lol
2:40 little confuson. It's funny to me beaucase I'm so confused about my feelings that I can start yelling to myself things like "why the fuck is this so complicated ?!!"
genuinely, why's life just so confusion!
@@RogersRegularShow yeah
I don't know if it's because I have Asperger's, but I'm 100% aromantic but sexually gay, I have a very high libido and I feel attracted to people, but it's purely physical, I don't feel anything emotional for anyone other than simple friendship or love for my family. I honestly thought to be a shallow psychopath,it's good to se there are more people like me.
Yes. There's so many people that have those same feelings, so don't feel alone!!
Idk what I am. I think I want a relationship? I do like sex but I don't really understand what genuine romantic attraction is supposed to feel like?
In the thousands of people I've met I have only wanted to be special to 2 of them which is why idk if I'm aromantic or not? Ive been asked out and confessed to loads of times and been extremely guilty and confused and said no every time. I have been on dates and hated every single second of them. Ive been heartbroken over those 2 people not being interested in me so that's why I'm so confused..... I don't give a shit about people romantically except those 2 incidents that were separated by 6 years each.....idk whats going on.....
At the end of the day I don’t care if I am in a relationship with someone. I think my “crushes” have been mistaken for people who are just nice to talk to people who can be good friends. In retrospect I don’t think I have actually understood what attraction or a crush is and in my mind it has been something completely different to everyone else’s idea. I think I have felt some sort of pressure in having to be with someone because that’s like a lot of things people talk about. I honestly wish someone could tell me how I feel and based on my experiences whether this label fits or not.
I wish that too sometimes, that we didn't all have to go through the process of trying to figure ourselves out. BUT It really is the best once you're able to truly understand yourself, after such a long time of figuring it out.
It's different for me...like, kisses, hugies and having a partner is not the problem for me, the real problem is that I'm NOT interested in doing romantical actions, I want to receive from my partnet, but dont want to do, I never fell in love before and all this makes me think I could be demiaro besides being demiace.
Understandable, its truly one of those things where everyone may feel something different but doesn't make it any more or less valid 😊
I'm aroace and I don't relate to any of these signs except for the fact that I don't feel romantic or sexual attraction and I'm upset about it because I have trouble accepting it
Thank you so much for this video because I'm figuring this out currently sooo perfect timing!! 🥰❤️
We love a Perfect Timing moment, hopefully it helps a little bit. Honestly, I found a little bit about myself with the video as well.
@@RogersRegularShow oh it did, good luck on your journey too!!
It's nice that you did this video 🙂
❤ thank you for always being so kind. I always look forward to your comments!!
Idk if I might be on the aromantic.
Since I wasn't exactly exposed to terms like aromantic, or asexual, due to my religion, I guess I always thought " Well you fall in love and you get married. That's the way life goes! "
I've had crushes on boys before, but I didn't exactly know whether I wanted to date them. I did sometimes think about it but I was still unsure. I would also sometimes feel like my attraction to them wasn't as strong, like sometimes I felt like I could lose the attraction at any time.
Now that I'm a teen, I look at people and think that they're really pretty or hot, but I don't exactly imagine myself all that much in a relationship with them or the attraction dies down and isn't as strong.
I might be cupioromantic, I suspect I might be but I'm not sure yet 😕😞
Hey, as you said you’re still young, so you’ve still got time to figure it all out. It’s good that you’re taking the time to try and understand yourself better, but it truly comes with time.
I had two major crushes,but mostly cos they started to pay attention to me when others didn't,
other than that we're only small crushes who weren't so important, sometimes i feel like sex and having a relationship is disgusting and complicated.
Tbh i am a bit microphobic.
Even tho i have a high libido most of the time i feel bad after i mind the business.
I wonder if i could become aroace later in life
Sometimes it just takes time to try and figure yourself out and that's okay. And sometimes things change and you feel differently down the line, and that's okay too!!
I don't know really, most of these signs apply to me but I did feel attracted to people in my life and I once had a big and long-lasting crush on someone. Right now, romance and relationships just feel so far away for some reason... maybe I just have to wait, but I feel weird to not have this figured out by now (I'm 25...)
I’ve been suspected of flirting when I was not even trying.
It happens to me all the time... lol I promise I am just being friendly!!
Well... I'm pretty sure I'm aroace. But I have one problem. My friend told me she has a crush on me and I feel like I'm hurting her so I'm not sure what to do about it. Obviously I love her the only way I know how but I don't want to keep hurting her. Leaving her seems like a bad idea too. I even started watching those videos to make sure if I'm aromatic, hoping that maybe I'm not but it seems pretty straightforward. Is there anyone who can help? What can I do? :((
In a situation like this, you've gotta do what is best for you. Other's may have hurt feelings, but things will get better. I'd explain to them your feelings or why you feel this way, and why it isn't working out. It's better to be honest.
I haven't done any of that first date first kiss stuff I have absolutely zero interest in that I didn't even go to my high school prom because of that shit I'm aromantic and heterosexual I'm perfectly happy with the single life I don't need a man to complete me or romance
Hey, I'm happy that you're happy!! 😃
I never actually related to the romantic aspects of romance stories but I was maybe exited to keep going because I saw how important the love was to those characters and I was fascinated and happy for them. But deep down I still always knew that I wouldn't crave that feeling for myself to be fulfilled.
And it was the sexual parts that actually turned me on better, so my sexuality is definitely healthy.
Every time a friend or someone told me about their crush, I couldn't even relate to that feeling. I almost thought they are overreacting.
I've been close with other girls but not the way one would think.
It all has started to make sense.
It’s such a good feeling when things start to make a little sense on how you feel, I hope you’re doing well and can continue to underarm yourself even better.
@@RogersRegularShow as someone who wants kids, that's gonna be hard to find a 100% compatible platonic partner who would be willing to do that. Also what fascinates me is that some aro partners get married for financial reasons and get along damn well because after all everyone needs a person who will always be there for them.
Can I just say that I love your lamp. I'm Aroace myself. 💚💜
Thank you ☺️ 😊
I’m currently stuck with greyromantic like another commenter here, but I always feel off in recent times because I get crushes allll the time, but most of the crushes I have are obsession/sexual/emotional attachment-based, and I’m more likely to portray romantic interest towards fictional characters and rarely ever had romantic attraction to people where I knew it was romantic.
Yet I desire an relationship, but rarely feel true romantic attraction irl (cupioromantic), so I’m not entirely sure what I actually am.
(Aroflux or a new possible term “grey-cupioromantic” are possible candidates).
Least now I know I’m Aro/Ace
🏹
Hey there, look at you!!
I'm trans masculine and aroaceflux
It’s so good for others to see that they’re not alone, I appreciate you sharing!
thinking I might be demi or aromantic but I'm really struggling with figuring it out 😅 this video was very helpful since I resonate with a lot of the things you said. Took me quite long to find (even while looking) someone with similar experiences, guess I'm probably on the aro spectrum 🤔 thanks 💜
I'm happy it was able to help, we're all just trying to "figure" things out in life. But you've got this!!
Wow great video!! :D Very informative! It's so awesome to see so many different orientations being discussed. I'm sure this will help so many people!!🥰 I'm definitely not aromantic, myself, as I tend to develop crushes on people very easily and love seeing/reading romance in books and movies! However, I do really relate to some of your points, in the video. Even though I develop attractions to people often and daydream about dating someone special, I tend to get uncomfortable with the thought of dating or flirting with someone in real life, sometimes. A few months ago, I came face to face with this gorgeous girl (whom I think I commented about before, already😅), and I couldn't even work up the courage to speak to her, ask for her number, or anything. I just completely shut down, turning into a blushing mess, not even being able to speak lol.😖 Because I get like this so much, my love life consists pretty much exclusively of crushing on and daydreaming about cute cartoon characters, celebrities, real-life people occasionally, etc. I definitely need to work on my confidence haha!
Confidence is SUCH a hard thing to work on, I said in the video I don't technically think I am completely a-romantic, but I feel connected with a lot of what I said, so I completely understand your feelings. But when I tell you, I've NEVER had the confidence to talk to ANYONE and the one time I did, it all fell apart completely LOL. but it's all a process and work, so we've got this together!!
I always want to date but i can't fall in love, I'm I aromantic?
Do you feel any romantic feelings towards people? Or is it more you find people attractive but just can't see yourself in the relationship because you don't have other feelings?
Falls under the arospec
Bro called me OUT
If the shoe fits… lol but sorry for calling you out!! 😳
Oh my Gods, I was wondering this and youtube recommend and this has helped a lot :)
It was meant to be... ✨ but actually, I'm happy that it helped a lot. It makes me happy to make videos that actually help others, we're all on this journey together.
Im ace/demi biromantic.
Love that ❤
Can I ask how old are you?
I'm 28
@@RogersRegularShow I'm just super curious, no offence. But do you live alone? Have you ever concidered the possibility of a platonic and maybe sexual relationship with someone even tho ypu're a virgin? Some aro people who are lucky enough to find a compatible partner does do that and maybe even start a family together and get married for financial reasons. Part of me is kinda terrified of that idea but it kinda fascinates me.
Thank you so much for this! I've been questioning this for about a week now and have a question:
I seem other aro signs from other video and what not and can really really relate, but I've only have had 1 bf and never been on any dates, would that give me enough experiences to truly tell if I'm aromantic? (and it was only lasted a month)
For more context, He has made attempts at physical touch and I've always been uncomfortable i guess? (Its a hard feeling to describe) and I would turn him down.
saying Love you always felt weird. I also have a hard time telling apart romantic and platonic attraction.
If anyone can tell me if I should try to get more experiences before knowing that I'm aromantic or just advice in general, it would be greatly appreciated 💚
Personally, usually you can trust in yourself and those feelings but obviously more experience and understanding it doesn't hurt. Cause in some situations it may not feel "right" with a person but may be with another, it's all really dependent on the people you are with. I always believe that it's all dependent on the relationships we build and how the other person makes you feel. So believe in your feelings but also know, it can be different depending on who you are with. But never, put pressure on yourself if it doesn't feel right.
Hello fellow beans!! I am trans (MtF), pan, demisexual, and aromantic.
Hi my fellow bean!!
3:06 oh god, if someone says that to you when you say you dont feel any romantic attraction, RUN as fast and far as you can
ive only recently (literally today) figured out im on the aro spectrum and i know the feeling of "i will feel awkward on a date" even tho ive actuall never gone on a date, and i also cant remember a single time in my life i had a crush on someone, i certainly know that im not ace because i do feel sexual attraction but finding out what label to use has been hard (more research incoming lol)
💚
I hope you're able to figure it all out, let me know how it goes!!
im omni/aroace and transmasc
thanks so much for this video
Thank you so much for checkin' it out. Happy to be a part of your journey and happy you're a part of mine.
Im was confused one of my friends is helping me figure out were i fit now i said asexaul cause i didnt no arormantic was a thing but aromantic sounds more like what im going three
Hey, I truly hope you are able to figure it out a bit. It's a lot to try to understand your feelings and I understand it completely, I'm wishing you the best in your journey of self discovery!!
@@RogersRegularShow lol yeah i ment aroace but it did explain a lot of my past liky s3x was never pleasurable for me and kissing always felt like a chore and i always grownd every time my ex wanted one amoung a bunch of other stuff and im better now and im poly told all the bfs and the husband about it 2 were not exactly happy about it nor was i heck i wanted to cry but im better now till upset but better and they no i still love them and r not leaving them
Aroace💚🖤💜
The hearts, the colors!! Love it.
Me too 😊
Very informative video
Glad you think so!
I’m questioning, and I think I may be in the aromantic spectrum, so could someone who has experienced a crush or romantic feelings tell me what it’s like?
Usually it's a bit of a flutter in your heart/stomach when you're around them... you just feel this overwhelming sense of nervousness or excitement when you're around them as well.
@@RogersRegularShow thank you!
Dear good sir if someone who has trauma turn lithromantic or is it a trauma response this is what i heard im not sure
Interesting... I will have to look more into it myself as well and will try to let you know, if I am able to!
@@RogersRegularShow thx