"it was just a misccomunication!" no, it was pretty straightforward. The trigger was her misinterupretation but they understood everything she said bright and clear
I know it was in the title, but the AGGRESSIVE hard turn into "she's too ugly for it to happen," "she's not innocent" and, "it probably wasn't even that bad" was WILD. I was sympathising a bit - she let her insecurities win, and she was nasty as a result - but now I 100% believe that she is downplaying what she did and that her BF (and his friends) deserve the world for having to put up with her.
Personally, I can see how her expressions and beliefs were instilled by her father, deeming SA as an experience only pretty girls are privied to. However, she has had two boyfriends just like her father and never considered checking in with a therapist to ask why, and for that, I lost all empathy. I do have hope that she can turn her life around though...
The girl in the first story doesn't realize that SA isn't about sexual attraction, it's about opportunity and power. All the victim has to do is be in the wrong place at the wrong time, or hang out with the wrong "friend."
And, in some cases, also desperation. Most SAers are charming, attractive and silver tongued. So the victims don't realise the danger until it's too late. But some don't get given the time of the day so they get desperate and get aggressive measures
@@JeSsE10mCcOy11 so power and opportunity then. it's not desire, or loneliness, or anything like that. it's power. it's insecurity. it's wanting to be dominant.
Yeah, offenders don't really care what you look like just as long as they get what they want at the end and also OP isn't entitled to details of the assault if the friend didn't feel like sharing it to her because, A. The friend hasn't really known her for that long to share such tough information like that to her. and B. OP insulted her looks and accused her of being a homewrecker which practically did not help the fragile state she was in.
Not even the weakest, but the easiest to do what they want. If you are strong and outspoken, but end up getting drugged and SA’d, you were the easiest because you accepted a drugged drink or not as vigilant about your drink being drugged. It can happen to anyone
First op def took her own issues out on the friend. It seems like somewhere in her mind she convinced herself that the SA was only because she was "pretty," and since the friend didn't fit her version of attractiveness, then what possible reason could she have had for being assaulted? And the op would have to face that she wasn't sexually abused for YEARS because she was pretty but because her dad was a monster. Prob her way of coping. Her past could explain some things about her reaction but it absolutely doesn't excuse them and it sounds like she absolutely wasn't in a good place for a relationship. At least she got a reality check and she'll hopefully deal with her issues before she hurts herself or someone else
"I dont think it was that bad" she tripping heavy. Oh my god, imagine saying someone getting sexually assaulted wasnt that vad because shes pretty. Only to explain op herself was sexually assaulted, no thats not an excuse, it provides context but irs excusing it.
While I agree upon reading the OG post it seems most people think it has to deal with the fact that OP gad to simply move on with her life after being SA'ed with no support system at all in fact it seemed to have only gotten worse so upon seeing another victim have people there for her and her experience being taken like it matters (which the most would agree it dose) I could understand OPs reactin even if they were in the wrong
The first story OP needs serious therapy. I mean, what the hell? Let that poor man go. You don’t deserve him at all. You are not in the right head space to even be in a friendship right now. HOLY SMOKES. 😰
Story 2: What happened to the money that Jade had paid every year for a birthday gift to OP that OP never got? That's something unresolved right there that was forgotten about.
Honestly the whole story seems unresolved to me... the parents offered excuses but not apologies. The father acknowledged he knew it was going on but didn't think it was "that bad"??? What is the reason it ever happened at all? They just thought 1 of their 4 kids would be "fine without their help" but the other 3 needed it? Have three kids and adopt another tool then act as if you only have 3 kids is deplorable.
Story One: “I don’t even think her SA was that bad.” If I said what I want to say to OP right now, I’d get terminated. That was vile. I sentence her to a lifetime of therapy. I hope OP gets better for herself and the people around her’s sake. Especially when she suffered from the same abuse and downplayed it for so long. However, I blame no one if they continue to avoid her, even decades from now.
Honestly it doesn’t sound like you want OP to get better. It sounds like you kind of want her to continue suffering. She needs to be punished for being so screwed up after being so abused. That’s what you think isn’t it?
I bet the girl from the first story isn’t ugly. Op could be a hater. Some women love calling women ugly when they're not. She mentioned that his friend had a larger chest.
I love it when people go "oh but I look so much better, the other person is so ugly". yeah friendo, what that means is your boyfriend dont care about looks as much, he cares about the person
Story 2: "They thought id be fine without them." Well he really didnt have a choice did he? They didnt give him less because they thought he didnt need them. He learned to not need them because they gave him less!
Imagine being such a horrible person that you make fun of someone for any reason just to make yourself feel better and then you write a whole story about it and you still don’t see that you are very clearly the AH
S1: Ironic that Joslyn was called a pickme and not OP 🤔 Anyway it really shows how trauma and sa can warp people in the worst ways. It doesn't justify OP's actions but explains it. She just needed to work on herself. Might be the rare situation where I hope OP, Robin, Josyln, and their friends can patch things up and move on from what happened.
I doubt there's going to be any coming back from telling someone that arguably one of the most traumatic experiences of their life wasn't "that bad",it's kind of like a German telling the Jews that the Holocaust wasnt "that bad" but like at a much lower scale and severity
Second story op : likes watches and clocks, studies to become watchmaker and likes his job very much, Op's grandparents: gives OP watches and clocks Op's sibling : how dare you?
Damn OP f'd up so badly she's trying to justify it and downplay sexual assault. My best friend once dated a girl that had past unresolved trauma. I recognize that what happened to her was bad but damn she shouldn't make my bro suffer because of it.
The boyfriend in first story made the right decision expecially after the comment about the SA she made . OP needs to leave him alone and he can do so much better then her
Story 2 Those parents didn't want him maybe he was unplanned or something but that doesn't give them the right to treat him like crap and don't think for a second op that they're sorry about anything they haven't done for you they've made it clear your whole life that they don't give a f**k about you now you don't need them so tell them they can spend all their money on the kids they actually give a f**k about
The girl in the first story is disgusting, glad he dumped her. That poor girl. Doesn't matter what kind of SA was, is still SA, It's traumatic, it doesn't matter what you look like, It can happen to anyone, men and women. What a disgusting and hateful person.
The first story is just straight up horrible. Why the hell did she say that to his gbf. She still does not understand what she did. No accountability at all. How you gonna say I am sorry than say it wasn’t even that bad. Smh
Story 1: No one is responsible for OP's past trauma, so she can't use that as an excuse for being a terrible human being to someone else. She needs to fix herself before she can be with anyone else.
The parents said they didn’t think it had gotten that bad. They knew all along it was unbalanced. They made decisions assuming an imbalance was fine, they’re just mad it became obvious. They’re offering money now because they got caught. They need to explain why ANY unfairness was fine, first. In front of everybody.
Story 2: it is not the money, it is not the size or ammount of the gifts, but the effort that OP's parents put.... if theu start to go through the list like they did with the wedding, I bet they will end up with a complete list of "we prioritized sibling over OP" over and over again. And if they live beyond their means, that means the rent OP was paying went to fund his siblings as well...
Story 2: WAIT....WHAT???? OP said "my paternal GF died when my father was young" but then "he favored me more" and "he is wealthy" and still alive the siblings are worried about inheritance when he dies?
1st story: No, sweetheart, your relationship was NOT perfect. You're drowning yourself in your insecurities. The way you explain your past, I'm going to say that some of it is definitely on you- maybe you have bad taste in men or maybe you're every bit as awful as you come across in your post. I wouldn't want anything to do with you after your absolute failure at being a decent human being either. Good on your bf for stick by his hurting friend and dumping your self-involved ass. Learn to love yourself, stay away from other people till you do.
Hmmm, sure OP. I believe all of your previous exes were abusive and it wasn't them not putting up with your shitty personality. Why are you getting mad here? We're all about refusing to believe victims here right?
Story 1: If Josh didn't "try" to understand / forgive OP, after learning of her past SA trauma, then he wasn't really in love enough to put in the work...Love is usually not that fleeting. Most people try to understand or see if they can forgive the wrong done, before deciding to throw in the towel.
I want to hug the first OP only because of the Jesus moment.... It's so hard to be transparent even after getting trashed and asked to unalive herself. Not trying to justify, in fact, it was irredeemable when she said the GBF's SA couldn't have been that serious and every girl gets grabbed ones or twice.... As if girls want to ? As if they're given a choice ? As if it's uncomfortable yet harmless gesture ? But I really want to believe that the Jesus moment is real.... The sudden moment of epiphany and then realising the depths of one's actions is equally liberating as much as it causes us to absolutely loath ourselves... Things certainly could've been better but thankfully, she realised before the number of her victim increased. Most people are rightfully disappointed in her but as someone who goes through the same and never get kindness or grace when past catches upto us, I want to hug her and let her know that her first step to actually realise the depth of damage she caused and how horrible she has been and then deciding to hold off making new relations to prevent the same and still persisting after the death threats, needs an applause, at least from one person who suffers the same and aspires to reach that place. Again, I'm not justifying her harmful actions, I simply admire the part where she realises and willing to work on it. There's surplus of people to point out the wrong and side with the right but there's hardly any to notice and appreciate when the bad start heading towards and working on self for good. 🫂🫂 (Ig it's more of consoling myself than her, besides she'd never come across this comment anyways)
Holy shit the op in the first story is coping so hard trying to prove she’s in the right
"it was just a misccomunication!"
no, it was pretty straightforward. The trigger was her misinterupretation but they understood everything she said bright and clear
She became the very thing she hated.
She's only making things worse for herself.🤦🏻♀️
the weaponization of her trauma is wild. girl, it doesnt mean you cant be a bitch
I know it was in the title, but the AGGRESSIVE hard turn into "she's too ugly for it to happen," "she's not innocent" and, "it probably wasn't even that bad" was WILD.
I was sympathising a bit - she let her insecurities win, and she was nasty as a result - but now I 100% believe that she is downplaying what she did and that her BF (and his friends) deserve the world for having to put up with her.
YEAH LMAO my jaw DROPPED💀💀 I was like "maybe this can be fixable.." then she went & said that crap😬😬😬😬 OP NOOOO
Yea always remember when someone is genuinely asking aita and they know they fucked up,you only get to know like 20% of how bad it was
Personally, I can see how her expressions and beliefs were instilled by her father, deeming SA as an experience only pretty girls are privied to. However, she has had two boyfriends just like her father and never considered checking in with a therapist to ask why, and for that, I lost all empathy.
I do have hope that she can turn her life around though...
The girl in the first story doesn't realize that SA isn't about sexual attraction, it's about opportunity and power. All the victim has to do is be in the wrong place at the wrong time, or hang out with the wrong "friend."
She probably thought that the full form of SA was Sexual attraction and people are just too lazy to add the "forceful" part
And, in some cases, also desperation. Most SAers are charming, attractive and silver tongued. So the victims don't realise the danger until it's too late. But some don't get given the time of the day so they get desperate and get aggressive measures
@@JeSsE10mCcOy11 so power and opportunity then. it's not desire, or loneliness, or anything like that. it's power. it's insecurity. it's wanting to be dominant.
S1: I hope OP's therapist will really does her job well. I hope Robin, Josephine, and their whole friend group is doing fine.
Predator animals don't go after the best-looking prey...they go after the weakest.
Yeah, offenders don't really care what you look like just as long as they get what they want at the end and also OP isn't entitled to details of the assault if the friend didn't feel like sharing it to her because,
A. The friend hasn't really known her for that long to share such tough information like that to her.
and B. OP insulted her looks and accused her of being a homewrecker which practically did not help the fragile state she was in.
Not even the weakest, but the easiest to do what they want. If you are strong and outspoken, but end up getting drugged and SA’d, you were the easiest because you accepted a drugged drink or not as vigilant about your drink being drugged. It can happen to anyone
First op def took her own issues out on the friend. It seems like somewhere in her mind she convinced herself that the SA was only because she was "pretty," and since the friend didn't fit her version of attractiveness, then what possible reason could she have had for being assaulted? And the op would have to face that she wasn't sexually abused for YEARS because she was pretty but because her dad was a monster. Prob her way of coping. Her past could explain some things about her reaction but it absolutely doesn't excuse them and it sounds like she absolutely wasn't in a good place for a relationship. At least she got a reality check and she'll hopefully deal with her issues before she hurts herself or someone else
Her therapist is gonna need a therapist
Story 1, at least in the end she owned up her mistake.
Doubt it best she did is either forgave herself or told she’s sorry to someone far away from the friend group.
@@superiorrule34 so you literally didnt finish the story
@@superiorrule34you wrote that before you watched did you
Yeah, but the bridge is still burnt to ashes. She should’ve gotten help a long time ago instead of blowing up the one good relationship she had.
@@LunaP1 Which she also recognized in the video.
"I dont think it was that bad" she tripping heavy. Oh my god, imagine saying someone getting sexually assaulted wasnt that vad because shes pretty.
Only to explain op herself was sexually assaulted, no thats not an excuse, it provides context but irs excusing it.
It's like an even worse version of gatekeeping, and I'm equally baffled and concerned.
While I agree upon reading the OG post it seems most people think it has to deal with the fact that OP gad to simply move on with her life after being SA'ed with no support system at all in fact it seemed to have only gotten worse so upon seeing another victim have people there for her and her experience being taken like it matters (which the most would agree it dose) I could understand OPs reactin even if they were in the wrong
The first story OP needs serious therapy. I mean, what the hell? Let that poor man go. You don’t deserve him at all. You are not in the right head space to even be in a friendship right now. HOLY SMOKES. 😰
Fun fact: OP did start therapy move on and is trying to be better after admitting she was the AH. She had a come to Jesus moment and is trying.
Story 2:
What happened to the money that Jade had paid every year for a birthday gift to OP that OP never got?
That's something unresolved right there that was forgotten about.
Honestly the whole story seems unresolved to me... the parents offered excuses but not apologies. The father acknowledged he knew it was going on but didn't think it was "that bad"??? What is the reason it ever happened at all? They just thought 1 of their 4 kids would be "fine without their help" but the other 3 needed it? Have three kids and adopt another tool then act as if you only have 3 kids is deplorable.
Story One: “I don’t even think her SA was that bad.”
If I said what I want to say to OP right now, I’d get terminated.
That was vile. I sentence her to a lifetime of therapy.
I hope OP gets better for herself and the people around her’s sake. Especially when she suffered from the same abuse and downplayed it for so long.
However, I blame no one if they continue to avoid her, even decades from now.
Honestly it doesn’t sound like you want OP to get better. It sounds like you kind of want her to continue suffering. She needs to be punished for being so screwed up after being so abused. That’s what you think isn’t it?
I bet the girl from the first story isn’t ugly. Op could be a hater. Some women love calling women ugly when they're not. She mentioned that his friend had a larger chest.
OP admitted she wasn't ugly halfway through the video.
I love it when people go "oh but I look so much better, the other person is so ugly". yeah friendo, what that means is your boyfriend dont care about looks as much, he cares about the person
Story 1: This was ONLY THE BEGINNING. She's an EXTREMELY INSECURE PERSON who would make her boyfriend's life a LIVING HELL.
“I thought I had my BPD-“
*_AND THERE IT IS!_*
Yup.
I dated someone w bpd before and damn...
Story 2: "They thought id be fine without them." Well he really didnt have a choice did he? They didnt give him less because they thought he didnt need them. He learned to not need them because they gave him less!
Imagine being such a horrible person that you make fun of someone for any reason just to make yourself feel better and then you write a whole story about it and you still don’t see that you are very clearly the AH
S1: Ironic that Joslyn was called a pickme and not OP 🤔
Anyway it really shows how trauma and sa can warp people in the worst ways. It doesn't justify OP's actions but explains it. She just needed to work on herself. Might be the rare situation where I hope OP, Robin, Josyln, and their friends can patch things up and move on from what happened.
I doubt there's going to be any coming back from telling someone that arguably one of the most traumatic experiences of their life wasn't "that bad",it's kind of like a German telling the Jews that the Holocaust wasnt "that bad" but like at a much lower scale and severity
@@Otis56 True but it all depends on the person. Forgiveness is possible even in the situation you mentioned.
OP is crazy. The kind of crazy that doesn't get better. I hope she is careful about future relationships. Yikes 😬😳
6:27 Wait, she was SA'd herself but instead of supporting a victim, she judged her?
The OP is a monster. I can't imagine a victim being treated the way the OP treated her.
She sounds like the mean girl from a bad romcom.
First story: Jesus Op, no wonder Ops Bf broke up with her. He finally seen her true colours and it’s being an insensitive person.
Second story op : likes watches and clocks, studies to become watchmaker and likes his job very much,
Op's grandparents: gives OP watches and clocks
Op's sibling : how dare you?
Damn OP f'd up so badly she's trying to justify it and downplay sexual assault. My best friend once dated a girl that had past unresolved trauma. I recognize that what happened to her was bad but damn she shouldn't make my bro suffer because of it.
The boyfriend in first story made the right decision expecially after the comment about the SA she made . OP needs to leave him alone and he can do so much better then her
Story 2 Those parents didn't want him maybe he was unplanned or something but that doesn't give them the right to treat him like crap and don't think for a second op that they're sorry about anything they haven't done for you they've made it clear your whole life that they don't give a f**k about you now you don't need them so tell them they can spend all their money on the kids they actually give a f**k about
Dude... Predator doesn't care for looks, down there satisfaction is more important.
The title is bad and OP keeps digging her own hole deeper. Like girl stop. You're making it worse.
The girl in the first story is disgusting, glad he dumped her. That poor girl. Doesn't matter what kind of SA was, is still SA, It's traumatic, it doesn't matter what you look like, It can happen to anyone, men and women. What a disgusting and hateful person.
1st OP is beyond the point of being an asshole
As soon as she mentioned BPD, it clicked.
Guys, this will sound harsh, but don't date people with BPD. It's not worth it.
The first story is just straight up horrible. Why the hell did she say that to his gbf. She still does not understand what she did. No accountability at all. How you gonna say I am sorry than say it wasn’t even that bad. Smh
Story 1: No one is responsible for OP's past trauma, so she can't use that as an excuse for being a terrible human being to someone else. She needs to fix herself before she can be with anyone else.
The parents said they didn’t think it had gotten that bad. They knew all along it was unbalanced. They made decisions assuming an imbalance was fine, they’re just mad it became obvious. They’re offering money now because they got caught. They need to explain why ANY unfairness was fine, first. In front of everybody.
GBF = Garrett Bobby Ferguson
you legend
Now THAT'S a reference! 😂
OP is an amazingly callous person.
She does not realize that she is just bad as the men who she says they mistreated her. Her answers expose herself.
The real travesty in S2 was turning down homemade ziti in favor of Texas Roadhouse.
Story 2: it is not the money, it is not the size or ammount of the gifts, but the effort that OP's parents put.... if theu start to go through the list like they did with the wedding, I bet they will end up with a complete list of "we prioritized sibling over OP" over and over again. And if they live beyond their means, that means the rent OP was paying went to fund his siblings as well...
Even Regina George wouldn't sink this low...
Gound the updates, OP in story one is in therapy and getting better. She knows she was trashy and is genuinely working on herself
I just feel sad for OP in story 1. I hope she get better, in new environment.
Hopefully OP 1’s positive change sticks.
Oh that's gonna be a good one
Holy crap that title! 😩
Story 2: WAIT....WHAT???? OP said "my paternal GF died when my father was young" but then "he favored me more" and "he is wealthy" and still alive the siblings are worried about inheritance when he dies?
Everyone has at least two grand fathers. Paternal = fathers side.
So them brows were T H I C C
My gnikcuF god, this woman...
messy hair = sex apparently
dafuq did I just heard on that 1st story
1st story: No, sweetheart, your relationship was NOT perfect. You're drowning yourself in your insecurities. The way you explain your past, I'm going to say that some of it is definitely on you- maybe you have bad taste in men or maybe you're every bit as awful as you come across in your post.
I wouldn't want anything to do with you after your absolute failure at being a decent human being either. Good on your bf for stick by his hurting friend and dumping your self-involved ass.
Learn to love yourself, stay away from other people till you do.
You my be your fathers so but are you your mother's child?
Hmmm, sure OP. I believe all of your previous exes were abusive and it wasn't them not putting up with your shitty personality.
Why are you getting mad here? We're all about refusing to believe victims here right?
story 1 is most likely rage bait to be honest
Story 1: If Josh didn't "try" to understand / forgive OP, after learning of her past SA trauma, then he wasn't really in love enough to put in the work...Love is usually not that fleeting. Most people try to understand or see if they can forgive the wrong done, before deciding to throw in the towel.
Do you have downs?
Cool
I want to hug the first OP only because of the Jesus moment.... It's so hard to be transparent even after getting trashed and asked to unalive herself.
Not trying to justify, in fact, it was irredeemable when she said the GBF's SA couldn't have been that serious and every girl gets grabbed ones or twice.... As if girls want to ? As if they're given a choice ? As if it's uncomfortable yet harmless gesture ?
But I really want to believe that the Jesus moment is real.... The sudden moment of epiphany and then realising the depths of one's actions is equally liberating as much as it causes us to absolutely loath ourselves... Things certainly could've been better but thankfully, she realised before the number of her victim increased. Most people are rightfully disappointed in her but as someone who goes through the same and never get kindness or grace when past catches upto us, I want to hug her and let her know that her first step to actually realise the depth of damage she caused and how horrible she has been and then deciding to hold off making new relations to prevent the same and still persisting after the death threats, needs an applause, at least from one person who suffers the same and aspires to reach that place.
Again, I'm not justifying her harmful actions, I simply admire the part where she realises and willing to work on it. There's surplus of people to point out the wrong and side with the right but there's hardly any to notice and appreciate when the bad start heading towards and working on self for good. 🫂🫂 (Ig it's more of consoling myself than her, besides she'd never come across this comment anyways)
wtf is a gbf?
Girl best friend