If it happened in the USA, then it was legally not gr4p3 and isn't gonna show up in any such statistic, because women got to define the terms, or rather, feminists did. Not that women are marching in the streets to rectify it though. She neither penetrated him anally, nor vaginally (he doesn't have that), nor did she penetrate him orally with a penis (she doesn't have that). The definition is deliberately designed that way in order to make it so that women who forcefully have vaginal sex with men are not officially guilty of gr4pe, but "involuntary sexual contact." This is what every "99% of gr4pists are men" statistic relies on, btw.
I always say that when your drunk it just makes you do things you were already thinking about doing, it lowers your inhibitions, that means that theoretically if she had actually hooked up with Nate that would mean that she was already thinking about doing it
@@sliqyplayz8072 OP did mentioned how when Becca is drunk she would insult OP meaning Becca already hated OP and does not considered her as a friend to begin with. OP is kind of dumb to think that people like this would think of them as a friend.
I agree that it’s not an excuse and that she was delusional but considering most everyone tends to act more obnoxious when they’re intoxicated, I’m not sure it’s fair to see that’s who someone really is.
Can't very well accuse someone who was about to propose to you of cheating and expose him to your friend's unhinged behavior and expect him to just "move on", you know.
Story 2 op's husband's attitude towards the whole thing with jess is how most male victims feel. The sad thing is, society would shame him for it, saying he shouldn't complain because he got to sleep with his step sister
Story 1: I remember this story previously. After hearing the year update, I'm not surprised Nate left. It's clear he never really forgave OP but probably wanted to see if he could make it work. When his car got vandalized at his job, as well as other colleague's cars, they couldn't prove it was Becca. Honestly, it probably wasn't, but that moment gave Nate the opportunity to make a clean break. Becca is an alcoholic and such an accusation from when she was on one of her drinking episodes should have been heavily scrutinized from the get go. She'd already proven in the past that her behavior was unhinged when drinking. If Becca was so concerned about OP 'knowing the truth', meaning, 'you tell her or I will', then why didn't Becca make sure to keep the 'evidence' proving her claims? If I'd have been in OP's shoes, I'd have immediately put the burden of proof on Becca, not Nate. If Becca is going to make such wild accusations, she needs to put up or shut up. As far as Becca leaving her alone and not contacting her now, I mean, why would she? She got what she wanted, she won. People like Becca aren't your friends. They're selfish and entitled and are only in it for themselves. They'll use you until they get what they want from you or there's nothing left to take. You're just a pawn for them to get what they want. She was never OP's friend.
That's why I don't understand some people saying "but she only asked him for proofs"... Op having some doubts is completely understandable ; but if someone accuses your SO of cheating, the 1st person you ask for providing some proofs is the accuser (especially if they admit being the AP). And yeah it's not a surprise that Nate left in the end. How can he fully trust OP, who thought that what Becca (someone known to be destructive and a liar) said would be as credible and trustworthy as what he could say, when she asked him first to explain and give some evidences..? And I'm quite sure it was the trigger that made Nate realise the lack of trust she has in him (even if due to her insecurities) and the way she acted throughout all these years.
Also she mentioned multiple issues she had with Becca and it seems ridiculous she’s still kept in touch with her before this issue. I think Op has a saviour complex and enjoyed the feeling of being Beccas saviour as she kept putting up with it. Very similar to the story where OPs boyfriend had a crazy friend girl May who chased off all girls in his life and he let her join their anniversary dinner. OP meet all her bfs other friends all girls as hes a dancer and they preferred OP and told her get rid of BF as they told him for years about May and kept trying to get rid of her. He then had a go at OP as obviously she’s turning everyone against him and May and it’s not their fault. He then made 2 of his posts about how May says he’s her favourite person and helps her. Then another where he wanted to get OP back without cutting May off.
@@emperorconstantinexipalaio4121 if someone puts me in the same category as a low life lying drunkard. that says a lot of their opinion about me. its not just about what was said but who said it.
@@emperorconstantinexipalaio4121 She introduced someone into his life who was an unhinged lunatic. You are responsible for the actions of people you force your partner to be around. They could have survived the cheating accusation of Becca hadn't done all the insane shit afterwards, and they could have probably survived the insane shit if OP had assured her man that she did not believe Becca at all when the accusation was first made. But the combo of being accused of something insane and the person at the heart of it all making their lives miserable afterwards is too much. OP should have been more careful who she let be close to her. She didn't and now she has no one.
@@ashleybobby1285She was a drunk that has done messed up stuff before. Man or woman no one deserves to be in that situation and then get harassed by a crazy ex or crazy friend. She saw the signs before and ignored them.
I dont get it. According to reddit if a man asks to go through his gfs/ wifes phone he's insecure and controlling. Yet, apparently if women do the exact same thing it's totally ok. Make it make sense, are we supposed to let them do whatever they want with no accountability whatsoever?
Oh and also we are supposed to believe female victims 100% of the time with or without evidence, meanwhile it's hard for anyone to believe a man even with proof. Dude needs to divorce her and move far far away from all this mess.
Becca accused OP’s bf of assault. That is plain and simple. What is her end goal? What does Becca do if she is not going to the police or the hospital to be checked out for SA? Something is not right here.
Story 1 Nate should've broken up with her. She immediately trust her bear friend over him. So the trust is broken and without it there's no relationship
Yeah, "Becca" was "a" problem, but OP was "the" problem. • She was suspicious before Becca said anything, simply because he set his phone down, screen-side down. She may have attributed that to something positive like proposal plans, but even that was an unhinged assumption. She noticed the phone was set down differently... that's fine, people sometimes notice something like that. But she took that one observation and without any other supporting evidence still came to a conclusion about it's meaning. That's jut not logically sound reasoning. That's NOT the same thing as situational-awareness, she might as well be using a fortune cookie or a horoscope to jump to conclusions, she's an idiot. • Becca is a drunk and a parasite, OP's known it for years and still associates with her. Apparently, she thinks "friendship" is a cure for alcoholism and mental illness. Well shit, if that's true, somebody alert the American Psychiatic Association. This is ground-breaking, we can apparently fix 80% of the world's problems with a group hug and a heart-felt chat over a pint of Hagen-Daz. Who would have guessed all that suffering was due to a simple lack of enablers, lol. And I'm not saying you can't show compassion for these people, but you have to do so within well-defined boundaries which never budge an inch. • She sent her boyfriend to pick up her drunk friend. Sorry, that's an imposition. Call an Uber. • More importantly, OP didn't know who to trust. That's the big one. The logic is pretty obvious, there were only three possible scenarios: 1) Becca had sex with OP's boyfriend, meaning she can't be trusted. 2) Becca lied about the sex to interfere with their relationship, meaning she can't be trusted. 3) Becca believes they had sex, but didn't and is delusional, meaning she can't be trusted. There is fundamentally no scenario in this situation in which she could be trusted, and OP is still conflicted on who to believe. Kind of hard for her boyfriend not to take that personally. No matter how incredulous the accusation, it's his job to prove a negative and establish his innocence, even when there is no evidence to even suggest his guilt in the first place. But a lack of evidence isn't enough. The testimony of a manipulative, drunken, mentally ill compulsive liar who was by her own admission nearly black-out drunk at the time, someone who has no credibility who openly resents him has their claim treated equal to his claims of his own innocence. Either OP didn't trust him at all, or she just trusts everyone equally, neither of which is a good foundation for a marriage. OP is just incredibly insecure. That what this is. Becca's story, no matter how obviously fake, gave OP permission to embrace those insecurities and run with them, and she lacks the mental faculties to reason her way out of that situation. I'm sorry it ended the way it did, but I'm glad it ended. That would have been a miserable marriage.
People are too harsh. She didn't really confront him kick him out and called him a cheater. She basically just asked if it was true. You have two people saying different things in something you can't stay neutral about, she tried to get proof that it was either a lie or not. What was she supposed to do? Simply ignore that her best friend of like 13 years just made up the worst thing ever?
OP and Nate needed to file a restraining order against Becca after the truth got out and she was making threats of violence. Also, Nate was right to break up with OP, he should’ve done it sooner. There can be no love if there is no trust.
Op did try to file a restraining order but Becca never made clear threats of violence, which is why the police they couldn't do anything about it. And yes, Nate was right to do so. Because, as understandable as her doubts were, OP chose to "push" him first for obtaining evidences. I don't know how this "Signal" app really works but even if Becca said that the messages were already deleted because of the settings, the fact that OP didn't question why there were no screenshots to back up these accusations seemed a little weird imo... You would think that if someone accuses your SO of cheating on you ; they would give you some kind of proofs, especially if they claim being the AP... Otherwise how can you believe them..? And I'm sure Nate caught on that.
Since she assaulted him in the second story. Op's husband should've gotten to the police and report the stepsister. However, he can do it at his own pace, once he feels ready. It's sickening how many males can get SA'd and not a lot of people believe them when dealing with the situation in legal action.
@@samiulhuda4001 Yet, there's always a chance that people would think the girl is lying when she admits it. Also, I don't really know that this happens all the time because there's no news about it and I don't really go online to read articles
@@deadsouljaguar7041you dont hear about it because its one of this things guys dont think is a big deal in most cases. like groping. women grope men a lot too
@ianesgrecia8568 That is not true. I know police are different in every country but the cops need to learn that females should held accountable for what they did when it comes to SA
S1: NTA. Friends like Becca will only drag you down. She doesn't want to put in the work to do better. S2: Jess is a piece of work. Considering how male victims of assault are treated, I can't blame him for staying silent.
S1: Let's be clear here. She was saying she was so incredibly drunk that she did it. She didn't accuse him of cheating. She accused him of grape. I don't blame him for leaving OP. I would, too. S2: wife revictimized him.
Maybe it's like...an exaggeration like: "Jesus, how awful!!!" Or after someone says something terrible or horrifying and shocking someone might say "Jesus christ!"
Honestly, I wouldnt call op stupid for not immediately believing her bf because there is a chance he really did cheat and her friend of 13 years is telling the truth.. However, after she explained her relationship with Becca, yes she is stupid for believing that kind of person...
She put the burden of proof on the accused, not the accuser. Plus, Nate was sober enough to drive and Becca was heavily drunk, so she didn't just accuse him of cheating, but also SA. You do not entertain the possibility of your partner without evidence based on the claims of a known alcoholic liar who has tried to break you up several times, or if you do, don't expect your relationship to recover.
Story 1. She never took a second and think about, that if they had sex, wouldnt she wonder why the trip took so long? 😅 Story 2. I think OP should really think about why her husband didn’t feel comfortable telling her, I know social stigma and everything, but his reasons for not telling her, should be really telling that he doesn’t fully trust her and that she would have his back
Story 1 is sad. In the end, Becca got exactly what she wanted, besides losing her best friend. I will say that although I understand OP’s feelings and desire to find out who was lying, based on all the background info she was giving, Becca really seemed like a super unreliable source from the get-go. I’m gonna imagine that the larger reason behind the breakup was that before the cheating accusation, Becca had been getting on his nerves for years without any repercussions from OP and he just finally felt broken. I don’t wanna make assumptions though. The only AH there, based on the given details, was Becca. Sad sorry all around.
Nah OP believing a drunken so iopath and habitual liar as females do. Also to put the burden of proof on her RELIABLE AND UPSTANDING boyfriend instead of the other sociopathic female speaks volumes as to op's character lmfao 😂😂😂
She wanted proof from him that he wasn't a r4p1st based on the accusation of a lying alcoholic who tried to break them up before. I wouldn't trust a woman after that either.
I understand being a bit hurt. But I don't know why he held such a resentment over it. She was very level headed and didn't took her at her word instantly. It's normal to want to confirm such big accusations because most people don't just throw them around.
The problem with it was that Becca was an alcoholic and mentally unstable, Op was essentially her scratching post for 13 years and her mental instability was directed at him. I honestly think that there’s more than what op is letting on.
@@whytfdraketrynarizzup21 Yeah, but it's still a lifelong best friend. It's difficult to be super logical when you are that close to someone. And she was as good as I think you can be given the circumstances.
With how drunk Becca was, she wouldn't have been able to consent, while Nate was sober since he drove, which would've meant he was culpable. I would not stay in a relationship with somebody who would entertain a claim by known liar and alcoholic who has a track record of trying to break us up that I am a r4p1st and demanded evidence from me and not her. How can I place my trust in somebody like that? This is much beyond "a bit hurt." Also "most people" aren't gollums like Becca. Further, women have made such accusations for much smaller reasons. "I'm gonna call the men I willingly had sex with r4p1sts so people don't find out I did it willingly and my crush won't think I'm a slut" is on the list of motivations that are good enough for some women to go ahead. Sure, most people don't falsely accuse, but guess what, most people also don't r4p3 drunk people, and yet somehow Becca deserves the benefit of the doubt because "most people wouldn't lie about it" but Nate doesn't get the benefit of the doubt even though most people don't do it? You know, most people that don't lie about this, never make an accusation to begin with. Out of the people who do accuse, many are liars.
1 story: I don’t understand why ppl are so upset with OP. If it turn out it true that Nate really did cheat on her, would you guy think the same about the situation. It funny that everyone condemned her for believe her friend word but wanted her to also just believe Nate word. OP did the right thing to stay in the middle and investigate the situation more before made any conclusion.
@@jedediahcoulbourne1791 and the problem with SA case is that it almost impossible to prove. So that why she need to analyze both side to see which one lying. Nate and her just know each other for couple years and her best friend know her for 13 years. So ofc so going to be very confuse. The fact that Nate want her to just believe him of his word is also very alarming.
@@hallycavallone4452 It is really stupid of OP to not asked for proof of the message. Like you can literally go check on google how to recover or go to support to try to recover said deleted message. If Becca acted fishy and hesitant then you know she is lying. If Becca just said trust me, OP should had said she need proof to confront Nate so either she give it to me or I go to Nate and recover it. OP had known full well that when Becca is drunk, Becca would start fight with OP and tried to insult OP to bring her down. When people are drunk, they usually show you their TRUE self. OP believe Becca was her friend. Becca never considered OP as a friend.
its not always what was said but also who said it. if a person known to be reliable said something i would entertain it. but if someone asked me something based on the information from lying drunkard nutjob i would judge them and understand their opinion of me is not as high as i would need it to be
All the people here saying "sHe ShOuLd HaVe BeLiEvEd HiM" makes me laugh! Like you would blindly trust a partner over a friend. Yes, OP should have dropped the friend ages ago, but that doesn''t mean she has no right to have more information before making a decision. Honestly I didn't like Nate after the first update, he gave me douchey vibes for not empathizing with OP's situation and just asking for blind trust when he was also acting shady. OP, if you ever read this, Nate breaking up the relationship is a blessing in disguise. Now that your alcoholic friend is out of your life, you can find a more understanding partner
No, lol. She is an alcoholic with a known history of violence, false accusations, and vindictive anger against OP and her bf. I don't give a flying fuck how close of friends they are. I'd look at the friend's confirmed pattern of behavior and give other people the benefit of the doubt. OP is spineless, and her ex bf deserves better than someone who'll cater to the whims of a drunk who openly treats him (and OP) like crap for years.
Understanding? The woman looked at a known liar, serial drunkard, and thought she was good friend material just because they were college room mates. Nate dodged a fucking bullet and Courtney needs therapy to not be such an enabler or figure out her desire to please those that clearly don't care about her.
@@jbgra2566 No, lol. She is an alcoholic with a known history of violence, false accusations, and vindictive anger against OP and her bf. I don't care how close of friends they are. I'd look at the friend's confirmed pattern of behavior and give other people the benefit of the doubt. OP is spineless, and Nate is better off finding a gf who won't subject him to a drunk with a long history of toxic behavior.
Because woman. Go to any video on the Depp v Heard trial, and you can read hundreds of "she's hurting real [female] victims" comments. I'd say a little less than half of women can actually talk about male victimhood without making it about themselves. I'd say OP is one of them though. I don't think she's making it about herself. I think she's trying her best to be supportive of her husband. Takes a real woman to do that. You may feel this way because enough women act like that that you may have gotten increasingly sensitive to it. Would be understandable.
It wasn't just assault, he was passed out abd couldn't consent. That stepsister is absolutely disgusting.
If it happened in the USA, then it was legally not gr4p3 and isn't gonna show up in any such statistic, because women got to define the terms, or rather, feminists did.
Not that women are marching in the streets to rectify it though.
She neither penetrated him anally, nor vaginally (he doesn't have that), nor did she penetrate him orally with a penis (she doesn't have that). The definition is deliberately designed that way in order to make it so that women who forcefully have vaginal sex with men are not officially guilty of gr4pe, but "involuntary sexual contact."
This is what every "99% of gr4pists are men" statistic relies on, btw.
I've been black-out drunk and still kept my morals. I've seen people blackout drunk and still defend their morals. Being drunk is never an excuse.
Being drunk isn't an excuse, anymore. If you're horrible when you drink, it's because that's who you REALLY are, without the filters.
I always say that when your drunk it just makes you do things you were already thinking about doing, it lowers your inhibitions, that means that theoretically if she had actually hooked up with Nate that would mean that she was already thinking about doing it
@@sliqyplayz8072 Exactly.
@@sliqyplayz8072 OP did mentioned how when Becca is drunk she would insult OP meaning Becca already hated OP and does not considered her as a friend to begin with. OP is kind of dumb to think that people like this would think of them as a friend.
I agree that it’s not an excuse and that she was delusional but considering most everyone tends to act more obnoxious when they’re intoxicated, I’m not sure it’s fair to see that’s who someone really is.
@@emperorconstantinexipalaio4121 I guess, you're right.
Can't very well accuse someone who was about to propose to you of cheating and expose him to your friend's unhinged behavior and expect him to just "move on", you know.
Rebecca showed you who she is as a person throughout the years and you still choose to act blind. You deserve everything.
Story 2 op's husband's attitude towards the whole thing with jess is how most male victims feel. The sad thing is, society would shame him for it, saying he shouldn't complain because he got to sleep with his step sister
Sad but true. It doesn't help how a lot of people mock them for telling anyone that they were SA'D
Story 1: I remember this story previously. After hearing the year update, I'm not surprised Nate left. It's clear he never really forgave OP but probably wanted to see if he could make it work. When his car got vandalized at his job, as well as other colleague's cars, they couldn't prove it was Becca. Honestly, it probably wasn't, but that moment gave Nate the opportunity to make a clean break. Becca is an alcoholic and such an accusation from when she was on one of her drinking episodes should have been heavily scrutinized from the get go. She'd already proven in the past that her behavior was unhinged when drinking. If Becca was so concerned about OP 'knowing the truth', meaning, 'you tell her or I will', then why didn't Becca make sure to keep the 'evidence' proving her claims? If I'd have been in OP's shoes, I'd have immediately put the burden of proof on Becca, not Nate. If Becca is going to make such wild accusations, she needs to put up or shut up. As far as Becca leaving her alone and not contacting her now, I mean, why would she? She got what she wanted, she won. People like Becca aren't your friends. They're selfish and entitled and are only in it for themselves. They'll use you until they get what they want from you or there's nothing left to take. You're just a pawn for them to get what they want. She was never OP's friend.
That's why I don't understand some people saying "but she only asked him for proofs"... Op having some doubts is completely understandable ; but if someone accuses your SO of cheating, the 1st person you ask for providing some proofs is the accuser (especially if they admit being the AP).
And yeah it's not a surprise that Nate left in the end. How can he fully trust OP, who thought that what Becca (someone known to be destructive and a liar) said would be as credible and trustworthy as what he could say, when she asked him first to explain and give some evidences..? And I'm quite sure it was the trigger that made Nate realise the lack of trust she has in him (even if due to her insecurities) and the way she acted throughout all these years.
Also she mentioned multiple issues she had with Becca and it seems ridiculous she’s still kept in touch with her before this issue. I think Op has a saviour complex and enjoyed the feeling of being Beccas saviour as she kept putting up with it.
Very similar to the story where OPs boyfriend had a crazy friend girl May who chased off all girls in his life and he let her join their anniversary dinner. OP meet all her bfs other friends all girls as hes a dancer and they preferred OP and told her get rid of BF as they told him for years about May and kept trying to get rid of her. He then had a go at OP as obviously she’s turning everyone against him and May and it’s not their fault.
He then made 2 of his posts about how May says he’s her favourite person and helps her. Then another where he wanted to get OP back without cutting May off.
Story 1: classic "I believe my friend's wild accusations without a shred of evidence." Ned did the right thing. He deserves better.
All she did was ask for proof and then she took his side as soon as she could tell he was being honest lol
@@emperorconstantinexipalaio4121 if someone puts me in the same category as a low life lying drunkard. that says a lot of their opinion about me. its not just about what was said but who said it.
Yes, cause if your best friend came to you and confessed to hooking up with your partner, you'd have no questions what so ever.
@@emperorconstantinexipalaio4121 She introduced someone into his life who was an unhinged lunatic. You are responsible for the actions of people you force your partner to be around. They could have survived the cheating accusation of Becca hadn't done all the insane shit afterwards, and they could have probably survived the insane shit if OP had assured her man that she did not believe Becca at all when the accusation was first made. But the combo of being accused of something insane and the person at the heart of it all making their lives miserable afterwards is too much.
OP should have been more careful who she let be close to her. She didn't and now she has no one.
@@ashleybobby1285She was a drunk that has done messed up stuff before. Man or woman no one deserves to be in that situation and then get harassed by a crazy ex or crazy friend. She saw the signs before and ignored them.
I dont get it. According to reddit if a man asks to go through his gfs/ wifes phone he's insecure and controlling. Yet, apparently if women do the exact same thing it's totally ok. Make it make sense, are we supposed to let them do whatever they want with no accountability whatsoever?
Oh and also we are supposed to believe female victims 100% of the time with or without evidence, meanwhile it's hard for anyone to believe a man even with proof. Dude needs to divorce her and move far far away from all this mess.
Gender bias because in their minds, men cant be assaulted
"I slept with your bf but i was drunk so you should leave him and keep me around " when your a drunk i guess thinking like this makes sense
Story 2, took me almost 2 years to really see myself as a victim of SA. Still flinch when women grab at me or try to touch me
Becca accused OP’s bf of assault. That is plain and simple. What is her end goal? What does Becca do if she is not going to the police or the hospital to be checked out for SA? Something is not right here.
Story 1 Nate should've broken up with her. She immediately trust her bear friend over him. So the trust is broken and without it there's no relationship
He did
Yeah, "Becca" was "a" problem, but OP was "the" problem.
• She was suspicious before Becca said anything, simply because he set his phone down, screen-side down. She may have attributed that to something positive like proposal plans, but even that was an unhinged assumption. She noticed the phone was set down differently... that's fine, people sometimes notice something like that. But she took that one observation and without any other supporting evidence still came to a conclusion about it's meaning. That's jut not logically sound reasoning. That's NOT the same thing as situational-awareness, she might as well be using a fortune cookie or a horoscope to jump to conclusions, she's an idiot.
• Becca is a drunk and a parasite, OP's known it for years and still associates with her. Apparently, she thinks "friendship" is a cure for alcoholism and mental illness. Well shit, if that's true, somebody alert the American Psychiatic Association. This is ground-breaking, we can apparently fix 80% of the world's problems with a group hug and a heart-felt chat over a pint of Hagen-Daz. Who would have guessed all that suffering was due to a simple lack of enablers, lol. And I'm not saying you can't show compassion for these people, but you have to do so within well-defined boundaries which never budge an inch.
• She sent her boyfriend to pick up her drunk friend. Sorry, that's an imposition. Call an Uber.
• More importantly, OP didn't know who to trust. That's the big one. The logic is pretty obvious, there were only three possible scenarios:
1) Becca had sex with OP's boyfriend, meaning she can't be trusted.
2) Becca lied about the sex to interfere with their relationship, meaning she can't be trusted.
3) Becca believes they had sex, but didn't and is delusional, meaning she can't be trusted.
There is fundamentally no scenario in this situation in which she could be trusted, and OP is still conflicted on who to believe. Kind of hard for her boyfriend not to take that personally. No matter how incredulous the accusation, it's his job to prove a negative and establish his innocence, even when there is no evidence to even suggest his guilt in the first place. But a lack of evidence isn't enough. The testimony of a manipulative, drunken, mentally ill compulsive liar who was by her own admission nearly black-out drunk at the time, someone who has no credibility who openly resents him has their claim treated equal to his claims of his own innocence. Either OP didn't trust him at all, or she just trusts everyone equally, neither of which is a good foundation for a marriage.
OP is just incredibly insecure. That what this is. Becca's story, no matter how obviously fake, gave OP permission to embrace those insecurities and run with them, and she lacks the mental faculties to reason her way out of that situation.
I'm sorry it ended the way it did, but I'm glad it ended. That would have been a miserable marriage.
He did.
um, she didn't believe either
People are too harsh. She didn't really confront him kick him out and called him a cheater. She basically just asked if it was true. You have two people saying different things in something you can't stay neutral about, she tried to get proof that it was either a lie or not.
What was she supposed to do? Simply ignore that her best friend of like 13 years just made up the worst thing ever?
Its crazy how threatening to hurt you does not issue cause for an action but when its towards insurance company...
OP and Nate needed to file a restraining order against Becca after the truth got out and she was making threats of violence. Also, Nate was right to break up with OP, he should’ve done it sooner. There can be no love if there is no trust.
Op did try to file a restraining order but Becca never made clear threats of violence, which is why the police they couldn't do anything about it.
And yes, Nate was right to do so. Because, as understandable as her doubts were, OP chose to "push" him first for obtaining evidences. I don't know how this "Signal" app really works but even if Becca said that the messages were already deleted because of the settings, the fact that OP didn't question why there were no screenshots to back up these accusations seemed a little weird imo... You would think that if someone accuses your SO of cheating on you ; they would give you some kind of proofs, especially if they claim being the AP... Otherwise how can you believe them..? And I'm sure Nate caught on that.
Since she assaulted him in the second story. Op's husband should've gotten to the police and report the stepsister. However, he can do it at his own pace, once he feels ready.
It's sickening how many males can get SA'd and not a lot of people believe them when dealing with the situation in legal action.
oh plz this shit happens all the time and you will never get anyone to take it seriously. unless the girl admits it
@@samiulhuda4001 Yet, there's always a chance that people would think the girl is lying when she admits it. Also, I don't really know that this happens all the time because there's no news about it and I don't really go online to read articles
@@deadsouljaguar7041you dont hear about it because its one of this things guys dont think is a big deal in most cases. like groping. women grope men a lot too
You say as if police would even take him seriouly. At BEST he would be the one acused of messing with her even if its the oposite.
@ianesgrecia8568 That is not true. I know police are different in every country but the cops need to learn that females should held accountable for what they did when it comes to SA
S1: NTA. Friends like Becca will only drag you down. She doesn't want to put in the work to do better.
S2: Jess is a piece of work. Considering how male victims of assault are treated, I can't blame him for staying silent.
S1 Dodged a bullet.
Story 1: This op is actually stupid by 6:02 I am wondering how there is even a question of if her friend is lying its obvious she is 🤦
The Minecraft base is really comin along! Nice work!
S1: Let's be clear here. She was saying she was so incredibly drunk that she did it.
She didn't accuse him of cheating. She accused him of grape.
I don't blame him for leaving OP. I would, too.
S2: wife revictimized him.
Op, it's your fault in the first story. Why would you believe someone like that.
Becca REEKS of BPD.
Frantic, desperate efforts to avoid abandonment.
Im effing pissed with false SA accusation. Its effing hard for victims to speak yet some POS use this to blackmailing other people.
Please, fenales make up SA claims all the time lmao I eill never believe them ever 😂😂😂
most sa accusations are false. and most sa victims dont say shit.
@@AesopRock77 Thank you.
Story 2: damn, how could Jesus do this to them
still wondering why she said Jesus
Maybe it's like...an exaggeration like:
"Jesus, how awful!!!" Or after someone says something terrible or horrifying and shocking someone might say "Jesus christ!"
There always red flag from that backstabbing snake friend
"What's going on??"
*runs*
Honestly, I wouldnt call op stupid for not immediately believing her bf because there is a chance he really did cheat and her friend of 13 years is telling the truth..
However, after she explained her relationship with Becca, yes she is stupid for believing that kind of person...
She put the burden of proof on the accused, not the accuser.
Plus, Nate was sober enough to drive and Becca was heavily drunk, so she didn't just accuse him of cheating, but also SA.
You do not entertain the possibility of your partner without evidence based on the claims of a known alcoholic liar who has tried to break you up several times, or if you do, don't expect your relationship to recover.
Let's not pretend that this isn't Creepshowart and Emily Artfuls story!
Day 9 of telling secretvoices to have a good day
Day 9 of tellign you have a great day
Story 1. She never took a second and think about, that if they had sex, wouldnt she wonder why the trip took so long? 😅
Story 2. I think OP should really think about why her husband didn’t feel comfortable telling her, I know social stigma and everything, but his reasons for not telling her, should be really telling that he doesn’t fully trust her and that she would have his back
And your “friends“ with her why?. 🤔
Story 2: Come on…Jesus didn’t do this. Jess did. 🤦♂️🤷♂️
Story 1 is sad. In the end, Becca got exactly what she wanted, besides losing her best friend. I will say that although I understand OP’s feelings and desire to find out who was lying, based on all the background info she was giving, Becca really seemed like a super unreliable source from the get-go.
I’m gonna imagine that the larger reason behind the breakup was that before the cheating accusation, Becca had been getting on his nerves for years without any repercussions from OP and he just finally felt broken. I don’t wanna make assumptions though. The only AH there, based on the given details, was Becca. Sad sorry all around.
Nah OP believing a drunken so iopath and habitual liar as females do.
Also to put the burden of proof on her RELIABLE AND UPSTANDING boyfriend instead of the other sociopathic female speaks volumes as to op's character lmfao 😂😂😂
She wanted proof from him that he wasn't a r4p1st based on the accusation of a lying alcoholic who tried to break them up before. I wouldn't trust a woman after that either.
Day 5
I understand being a bit hurt. But I don't know why he held such a resentment over it. She was very level headed and didn't took her at her word instantly. It's normal to want to confirm such big accusations because most people don't just throw them around.
The problem with it was that Becca was an alcoholic and mentally unstable, Op was essentially her scratching post for 13 years and her mental instability was directed at him. I honestly think that there’s more than what op is letting on.
@@whytfdraketrynarizzup21 Yeah, but it's still a lifelong best friend. It's difficult to be super logical when you are that close to someone. And she was as good as I think you can be given the circumstances.
@@DanJuega doesnt matter if it was her mother. if someone compares my trustworthyness with a lying drunkard. there is nothing left to be said
With how drunk Becca was, she wouldn't have been able to consent, while Nate was sober since he drove, which would've meant he was culpable.
I would not stay in a relationship with somebody who would entertain a claim by known liar and alcoholic who has a track record of trying to break us up that I am a r4p1st and demanded evidence from me and not her.
How can I place my trust in somebody like that? This is much beyond "a bit hurt."
Also "most people" aren't gollums like Becca.
Further, women have made such accusations for much smaller reasons. "I'm gonna call the men I willingly had sex with r4p1sts so people don't find out I did it willingly and my crush won't think I'm a slut" is on the list of motivations that are good enough for some women to go ahead. Sure, most people don't falsely accuse, but guess what, most people also don't r4p3 drunk people, and yet somehow Becca deserves the benefit of the doubt because "most people wouldn't lie about it" but Nate doesn't get the benefit of the doubt even though most people don't do it?
You know, most people that don't lie about this, never make an accusation to begin with. Out of the people who do accuse, many are liars.
@@ZenoDovahkiin But she also gave the benefit of the doubt to her boyfriend. It's not like she immediately believed her either.
1 story: I don’t understand why ppl are so upset with OP. If it turn out it true that Nate really did cheat on her, would you guy think the same about the situation. It funny that everyone condemned her for believe her friend word but wanted her to also just believe Nate word. OP did the right thing to stay in the middle and investigate the situation more before made any conclusion.
You must prove guilt, not innocence.
@@jedediahcoulbourne1791 That apply for both side.
@@jedediahcoulbourne1791 and the problem with SA case is that it almost impossible to prove. So that why she need to analyze both side to see which one lying. Nate and her just know each other for couple years and her best friend know her for 13 years. So ofc so going to be very confuse. The fact that Nate want her to just believe him of his word is also very alarming.
@@hallycavallone4452 It is really stupid of OP to not asked for proof of the message. Like you can literally go check on google how to recover or go to support to try to recover said deleted message. If Becca acted fishy and hesitant then you know she is lying. If Becca just said trust me, OP should had said she need proof to confront Nate so either she give it to me or I go to Nate and recover it. OP had known full well that when Becca is drunk, Becca would start fight with OP and tried to insult OP to bring her down. When people are drunk, they usually show you their TRUE self. OP believe Becca was her friend. Becca never considered OP as a friend.
its not always what was said but also who said it. if a person known to be reliable said something i would entertain it. but if someone asked me something based on the information from lying drunkard nutjob i would judge them and understand their opinion of me is not as high as i would need it to be
All the people here saying "sHe ShOuLd HaVe BeLiEvEd HiM" makes me laugh! Like you would blindly trust a partner over a friend.
Yes, OP should have dropped the friend ages ago, but that doesn''t mean she has no right to have more information before making a decision.
Honestly I didn't like Nate after the first update, he gave me douchey vibes for not empathizing with OP's situation and just asking for blind trust when he was also acting shady.
OP, if you ever read this, Nate breaking up the relationship is a blessing in disguise. Now that your alcoholic friend is out of your life, you can find a more understanding partner
No, lol. She is an alcoholic with a known history of violence, false accusations, and vindictive anger against OP and her bf.
I don't give a flying fuck how close of friends they are. I'd look at the friend's confirmed pattern of behavior and give other people the benefit of the doubt.
OP is spineless, and her ex bf deserves better than someone who'll cater to the whims of a drunk who openly treats him (and OP) like crap for years.
Clown lmfao, stay away from relationships and friendships because you dont know better.
Yeah how dare he not fall on his sword for her crazy alcoholic friend, what a jerk.
Understanding? The woman looked at a known liar, serial drunkard, and thought she was good friend material just because they were college room mates. Nate dodged a fucking bullet and Courtney needs therapy to not be such an enabler or figure out her desire to please those that clearly don't care about her.
@@jbgra2566 No, lol. She is an alcoholic with a known history of violence, false accusations, and vindictive anger against OP and her bf.
I don't care how close of friends they are. I'd look at the friend's confirmed pattern of behavior and give other people the benefit of the doubt.
OP is spineless, and Nate is better off finding a gf who won't subject him to a drunk with a long history of toxic behavior.
Why does it feel like the wife in the second story is making her husband SA all about herself?
That's just how females are 😂
Because woman.
Go to any video on the Depp v Heard trial, and you can read hundreds of "she's hurting real [female] victims" comments. I'd say a little less than half of women can actually talk about male victimhood without making it about themselves.
I'd say OP is one of them though. I don't think she's making it about herself. I think she's trying her best to be supportive of her husband. Takes a real woman to do that.
You may feel this way because enough women act like that that you may have gotten increasingly sensitive to it. Would be understandable.
PS: Not women's fault intrinsically, it's more how western society treat these issues. They aren't used to male victims being acknowledged.
Nice, my comment defending her got deleted.