Guys all you have to do is standout. Then everyone is standing out, then no one is standing out. Want to improve the situation? Delete the dating apps.
100%. I like Courtney and she has a lot of good advice. But just because dating apps worked for her, doesn’t mean they are even an option for most men.
@@americancapitalist9094 To be fair to her though, the second half of the video was basically her saying just get off of them in a gentle way. But yes absolutely.
Met a girl off the dating apps who said she swipes left on guys if she doesn’t like how their name is spelled. I basically told her she’s going overboard and she told me she “earned her right to be picky and don’t be so sensitive”. That’s what men have to deal with today.
As a man using Tinder I found it was incredibly toxic to my pscyhe. I rarely if ever get a match and many of the girls profiles are narcassictic with comments basically being like "dance for me monkey" or "if I swiped right it's for your dog, not you". It's hard not to get resentful when that's what you keep seeing. As an introvert I decided I'll have to suck it up and approach women in public. I genuinely believe I have a lot to offer and the couple of times I did approach I ended up hooking up with the girl. These apps totally ruined my self confidence too. When I'm with a girl she always assumes I'm getting laid like twice a week and girls are all up in my DM's. I never correct them because if I were to tell them they're the only match I had in two weeks, or no girl has ever messaged me before they'd think something was wrong with me. I really think women have no idea about if a man doesn't invest a large amount of energy into finding women he can remain single for the rest of his life, without any girl ever approaching him.
THe most hilarious ones were the unattractive sjws who say “swipe left if you voted right” or “conservatives swipe left” 😂😂😂 as if they would’ve gotten swiped on regardless
@@maximusdecimusmeridious3784 you would be shocked how many matches unattractive girls get. You underestimate how many guys that are starving for something. Just think about it. If the vast majority of men are getting nothing. And we know men. Why wouldn't a large majority of these men, who don't believe they can get a top quality women and are not willing to put themselves out there not go for any type of woman? Men are not like women. Whereas we see many woman say they would rather get nothing than have to settle, men do not say such things. In reality men will get what they can get. Very few men, will wait and work and grind to get the top women. Biologically speaking, out genetic make up works against us. Whereas women search for the best mate to give them the best offspring they can get during their 9 month pregnancy, dudes are trying to create as many children as possible and spread their genes
Yea, women are totally clueless when it comes to many struggles men have to overcome. Women apply their situation (a lot of matches, they being approched, easily getting laid etc.) to men. Women are so hypocritical, when they EXPECT men to do all the hard work (like approaching, initiative, planning how to "entertain them" like we are monkeys in their circus), but at the same time they won't approach men, because "it's scary/hard/time-consuming etc." (all type of excuses). They scream "We want equality!", but at the same time expect to still have the "traditional" advantages.
I'm 6'4", I model, Bodybuild and play sports and let me tell you, that dating apps aren't the way to go if you really want to find genuine relationships or stay confident in yourself. I've gotten hundreds of matches and asked them all what they want and most of the girls on there just want an ego boost, want to smash/hookup or just BS you. The amount of narcissists on there is wild so i deleted all those apps and found that staying focused on myself and my goals has made me more desirable to women in person and I've had alot more interactions with them just by staying focused on my success.
It doesnt matter if deleting the apps made you more desirable to women or even having more interactions with them after deleting cause you should be having interactions with them anyway. This whole thing about being admired by girls gets old and means nothing unless you sleep with them or make them your girlfriend
@@ABABABABABABABABABABBBBBB I said staying focused and working towards my own personal growth and success brought me more interactions with women as well as having more worthwhile interactions with them in person rather than hoping to see a few pretty ones on an app. never said that deleting dating apps made me desirable at all. They did however, make me stop worrying or checking up on them frequently and gave me more drive and focus on other worthwhile things is what helped mostly
But you have that option. I live and run a business in a place where I literally come into contact with zero single women withing 5 years of my age. I have to stay here to run my successful business, so I try to make these apps work out, to get in touch with girls just beyond where I live. I wish there were any women my age here. I can't just drive around to other places looking for women all the time, that would take up all my time. I think you are right though. These apps do not work for men, and we shouldn't use them
@@jaymase3735 I agree. I have a suit guy friend and paradoxically he only matched with below average looking women. Those ladies there (yes, especially the attractive ones) seem to draw pleasure out of saying no to a boss man. And some of those women don’t have the confidence to match with a suit guy (because he looks like requiring character also from ladies which most attractive women there don’t have). So, yes, for us quality men here, Tinder is certainly garbage.
My problem with dating apps is that 99% of the girls I match with are 👻's. After 1 or 2 texts, they're already done. I don't say anything out of the ordinary either. It's incredibly hard to meet women from my experience.
And I'm pretty sure that's not your fault, girls don't care anymore. And why would they? They get attention and validation in seconds, so all the things that they are biologically set to crave. Someone said that social media for women is like porn for men. You don't even have to get out of bed to basically see/get whatever you want.
That's it! Also, as a serious man, I definitely don't want to stay hours finding out how to behave like a 🤡only for temporarily amuse those ladies and get some more pitiful replies. In two years of Tinder, I've met a really awesome person only once, but she was incredibly distant (on the other side of the world, indeed) and we never got to see each other physically, despite we both wanted to really hard. Fantastic vibe tho. Unluckily, now she engaged a relationship with another guy of her city and we are done for now. That's the only regret I have, or I would have canceled this app out of my life long time ago.
You have to be direct and not get involved in back and forth texting. A couple of messages then ask to meet, this gets rid of the time wasters. If a women is truly into you she will want to meet.
The moral of the story is that even if you're a "Chad," dating apps and even social media are used more for an ego boost and hookups rather than serious relationships. A lot of women (not all) hide behind these dating apps because they are afraid that if they actually go out in the real world and meet people, some men might find out they're not as glamorous and perfect as they seem online. Go meet people outside and get dates that way unless you're lucky enough to get matches and dates via dating apps and social media.
On a dating app an average girl will get plenty of responses. An average guy will get little to no responses. Dating apps are a waste of time for the average guy. Agreed take your chances going out places.
@@rnt45t1 Keep clean, get some cool clothes that fit you well, get a proper haircut that suits your face and have an accessory or two, like a nice watch and a bracelet or necklace. Wear a nice subtle cologne or after-shave. Take care of your physical body. Eat well, get exercise. No drugs, no booze and no smoking. Keep your home clean and tidy.
Dating apps these days are profit-driven and it's very important to understand this. Hinge is designed to be deleted? BS. It's designed as a gamified funnel to selling a monthly subscription that uses the hope of providing value (in the form of a relationship) as the engine of conversion for the sake of maximizing reliable cash flow back to Hinge. All dating apps these days use the same mechanics that casino engineers employ to keep people playing and get them addicted to the hope of scoring big (lights, flashes, notifications, flags, pop-ups, anything RED, to keep it exciting and to keep your brain scattered and stimulated rather than focused). As long as they preserve the feeling of hope, people will keep playing, and wasting their time and money.
am i the only one who wasnt dumb enough to waste money on a dating app? that sounds like the biggest waste of money ever especially if the main functions of the app like matching and messaging are free, so anything more than that is a gimmick
This analogy is spot on i agree with this. Totally makes sense im like why use a dating app when you can meet the girl in real life you have to anyways at some point right so why put extra time and effort into using a stupid app when you can meet a women and person and a make move. Dating give you no health or social benefits.
I need to do this… too many hook ups that I have no self control of in my life… women basically use me and throw me away after a night. Guys might think it’s amazing but it really isn’t.
I deleted all dating apps. I’ve had some success on it but ultimately it’s not worth it. And with all due with respect Courtney I know you are trying to be understanding and empathetic. But you will never truly know what it’s like for a regular guy. You are an incredibly beautiful woman. And you’re going to attract the top guys with ease. And those guys aren’t going to have the as many challenges as the ‘average’ guy. So yes it’s possible to meet someone special for some people, but for the average guy save yourself the headache.
No offense Patrick but as long as you feel that she is an incredibly beautiful woman you will have problems with dating. Work on yourself brother don't make a woman the center of your life. Once you focus on you and will start achieving success they will flock.
@@GoAlphaIce how is he wrong? Do you think she went through hordes of rejection, ghosts, and flakes? She had positive reinforcement from the outset. Its amazing how people who got a yes early on in life thinks versus others who never got that yes.
@@vitamindealer7915 I hear you but please stop focusing on what you did not get brother (it will poison your mind an body), focus on what's ahead. I was born in a small village outside of the US. I worked hard all my life and was told no for 10 years straight by US employers, but I kept improving till I got my yes, beginning was hard but it was all temporary. Been told no by many women but kept improving and started getting yes's. I joined the Army, was told 14 times in MEPS I won't get the MOS I want but kept coming until I got the one I wanted. Had young kids die in front of me regardless of how much I wanted to save them. Brother there are 3.5 billion women and you have one life so enjoy it. Women biologically can see and feel your inner strength so start working on it.
Dating apps, alongside Instagram, has made women delusional and, as a result of it, it’s made men remain single. I’ve asked women if they prefer online dating or meeting in person and 99% of them prefer meeting in person. If you’re a man who wants to date then meet women in person instead of online because you’re only making it harder for yourself, with all of the competition in her inbox. After all, online dating for women is dating on easy mode and online dating for men is dating in hard mode
It's damaging to self esteem to never get matches. I get that. But matches are like phone numbers. They don't mean anything unless it results in meeting up. In a way it's 10x worse to get matches regularly but to be used for validation and attention. It's like one endless tease. If I had to choose, I'd much rather only get 3-5 matches per month that resulted in actual meetups. The harsh reality is women have so much abundance of choice that their interest can change hour to hour and day to day. The flakey nature of society is at an all time high. 💯
For the average looking guys….don’t waste your time on the dating apps. It is basically a sausage fest. The best way to meet women is introduction thru mutual friends or families.
no friends, no family. Now what lol? It sucks living in the country, don't ever leave a city. there's 3 hot girls in the entire county and the entire county is after them.
@@alanparks3402 if you are white, go to a Asia country. And don’t go there just to have sex. Go there to look for a serious relationship. But you have to learn a little bit to speak the local language. Don’t go for the girls that can speak English well, because they probably are dating many foreigners etc.
When my ex wife and I split up we both signed up for CMB. Within 3 weeks she had hundreds of messages in her in box. I did dating apps for 9 months and can count on two hands how many girls I matched with and had a conversation going.
Yet very hot attractive women on there, find no one, and keep resetting their profile. So all those messages and matches are junk. Online dating doesn't work for women either, it just doesn't work in different ways.
Online dating sucks, i'd rather do Cold approach over using those lop sided apps that favour women. With online dating, girls have thousands of guys messaging her trying to meet her in person and setup a date. With cold approaching, you've already met her in person; essentially skipping the waiting line of all those guys texting/messaging her for days or even weeks, you've immediately accomplished and are ahead of all of them. She's already seen you physically, has gotten a sense of your personality to determine if she wants to go out with you, and more than likely wherever you approached her you have a common interest.
@@CanucksxDream Guys don't understand it because the majority of guys are deemed unattractive by women, whether online or IRL. So you end up mostly getting rejected, whether online or IRL. But IRL hurts a lot more. There's also the idea that they're not actually that unattractive, but they lack game. Well, game is something that is only useful at the beginning and is meant to be used over and over. A guy wanting a relationship doesn't really see the point of developing game. I'd rather find a woman that doesn't judge me based on my superficial ability to get unknown women's attention because that's not gonna matter at all for the rest of the relationship. Plus, getting rejected over and over feels way too demeaning if you're really looking for something serious. You can treat it as a "numbers game" if you're disconnected from the whole thing. And on top of that, if you manage to get successful at cold approach, you won't really want to be in a relationship as now you have options and it seems a waste to have developed a skill and only use it once.
I'm 6'5. During lockdown I tried dating apps and I was very unsuccessful. I am average in the looks department but I do have something. In real life when I walk into a room lots of people look at me and girls freely chat to me. Dating apps are not a good indicator of your worth in the dating field please do not beat yourself up over this.
Umm im 6'6" and have been told many times how handsome i am. If i walk into a room, no random stranger woman is going to just start chatting me up. Little lone look at me. Lol. When i walk through stores women look away from me like they have a mission.
I'm 44. I'm so glad I got to live my young dating life before social media, smart phones, and dating apps. I feel sorry for the young guys of today. It's so much harder for guys now. When you're out and about, every girl has her face in her smart phone. Girls are so much less approachable. And back in our day, if you were lonely, it sucked, but at least you didn't log onto your social media and see a million pictures of all the girls who rejected you partying and hooking up with other guys. When we talked to a girl in a bar, we had a better chance because she wasn't also chatting with 20 other guys on a dating app. I'm not saying things were super easy and perfect back in the day, but young guys: picture this world: 1) NO smart phones....when you were out, you could actually talk to a girl without feeling like you were interrupting something. 2) NO social media....if you got rejected, you just moved on. You didn't have to see the girl on Instagram posting selfies at the club. 3) and best of all....NO DATING APPS. In our society, men are expected to make the first move. For that reason, women have always had to put in less effort than men. But back in the day, at least they had to put in SOME effort. They had to at least get dressed and leave the house. When you talked to a girl in a bar, you were only competing against the other guys in that bar. Now, the girl can just wake up, roll over, grab her smart phone, and she's got dozens of messages on dating apps.
Never been on a dating app in my life, I always felt like it was a route for people with low confidence. I just never had a problem meeting women when I was single. Just put yourself out there, and women will pick up your vibe. You don't have to walk around hitting on every woman you see, just be friendly. When you see the signs, express interest. Yes you can get a little nervous sometimes, that's one of the things that makes it so rewarding when it works out. No guts, no glory!
They are a route for people with limited social lives or who have work/hobbies etc. where women do not appear. However, if you use them to start with because you have low confidemce, mr. average will hace even less confidence by the time he has finished.
@@RS-xo7rd Not judging, well maybe I did a little bit, but if it makes you happy I support it. Just adding my 2 cents. Number one place you used to meet people was work. Obviously that could be frowned on nowadays but but do what you love doing. Mountain biking, coffee shops, wherever. That's where you meet real people, not at a bar or a nightclub. I know I'm probably stating the obvious.
Um...your entire post was judging. Maybe the "intent" was not to judge but you sure succeeded on messing that up. How about I reword it for you. "Never been on a dating app in my life, I always felt like the women on it are out for free cash. I just never had a problem meeting women when I was single 10 years ago, which of course means I'm out of touch with today's reality because it changed so much! Completely different world. Just put yourself out there, 10 years ago, and women will pick up your vibe because that sure isn't happening these days. You shouldn't walk around hitting on every woman you see, just be friendly. Look at them like they are trash, and ignore them, and they'll wonder what the heck is going on. These days sadism works. When you see the signs, then nonchalantly express interest. Yes you can get a little nervous sometimes, scrap that one and move on to the next because you blew it, that's one of the things that makes it so rewarding when it works out. No guts, no glory! Nor any glory hole either!" There. The current market with dating apps and social media. And for the record, I never had problems finding dates. Now, date someone at work is a death sentence, not "frowned upon." Frowned upon implies that you won't be utterly destroyed, if you are a man.
I agree! I haven't been on dating apps much lately. I've been trying to get out more and fester up the courage to ask out girls in person. It's been a slow process, but I definitely more of a sense of accomplishment for building my confidence than dating apps. 100%!
I’m gonna be honest, if you’re not naturally a very attractive dude you’re gonna struggle a lot on dating apps. Not saying you can’t implement some of these tactics to improve your profile and increase your chances, but you’re still going to have a hard time nonetheless. Most people on dating apps just look at the first photo and at your face for a brief five seconds when deciding whether to swipe right or not, so if you weren’t blessed with elite facial features, odds are you’re going to have a hard time no matter what.
honestly that helps get dates but usually the 1st date is the last date . i photograph well and have no problem writing to people, getting calls and dates but after 6 months of this crap i only had two second dates and a string of first dates and then rejections or ghosting
So true. I've had female friends tell me that even if they match with an attractive guy, they are always thinking in the back of there head, "He's cute, but there might be something better." I stick with meeting people in real life, and guess what? Surprise! It works! LOL. I believe having the balls to approach women in grocery stores, coffee shops, a yoga studio, etc separates you from 99% of men.
@@ebrowntaylor1 i have to stop with the dating apps. the entitlement and lack of basic etiquette is disgusting. i just dont have many single friends now so whenever i get a date its nice to be out and about but then i get bummed if i like the person and then i stop hearing from them
@@kellymulderino7156 i dont know how old you are, but dry spells in life arent uncommon - i had no dates during the 2 year pandemic... got back on the apps in January and met a great lady in the first 2 months. its all timing.
Thank you for the last tip about meeting women in person. Learning how to overcome the anxiety of doing this is, IMO, the #1 skill a man can learn to improve their life. After a long term relationship, I spent years on a dating app with no success. When I finally started speaking to random women in person, (and not just women, people) my entire life changed for the better
Honesly, my life changed when i ditched online dating stuff and went out to meet girls in person, the problem with dating apps are that all of them require some sort of gold/premium membership and 90% of girls dont have it, so they cannot even see your profile when you like them, ditch tinder and go out you'll be much more successful.
I had a feeling you would cover this at some point. Thank you! Validation, to me, is the number 1 reason why I no longer use any dating app! It's too much of a chore to try so hard to stand out, when no one on there have any intention of using it for what it was designed for. If you ask me, I'm not looking for a pen pal, text buddy, or looking to waste my time on someone who may or may not exist.
Correction! Women are so quick to judge based on looks, even if you ladies say otherwise. I love that you were honest in this video. As someone who isn't as photogenic in photos versus in person. Any picture angle didn't helped me whatsoever. I even had a lady friend help me out, with minimal results. As I was using these dating apps, I was going to meetups and meeting people. Guess what? I ended up running into women that rejected me on a lot of these apps. I ended up showing them who I was. They were surprised, I moved on from them after. They weren't attractive to me, when I saw their shallowness. And F it! Countering Ryan's opinion, you do have to be an 8 to a 10 to get matches. She's a woman, she has to defend her sisterhood. Remember this brothers, women are very superficially shallow and unrealistic with their preferences. I've done all of these actions, and rarely did I get any results. Because most women are very shallow , remember that. This is why! For me, in person is best. Go to different places. Meet people. But keep this in mind! These apps don't work for a lot of men, most, because of hypergamy and female nature.
So you put crappy pictures to an app that relies on first impression and then blame women for being shallow for not seing what a wonderful man you are behind the app? Maybe you just think too much of yourself, you sound bitter and insufferable
Are MEN also "so quick to judge based on looks"? I've heard that UNLESS I post a "full-body" photo (& I'm NOT fat!) no man will ever pick me online. My experience hs been that women have a much broader definition of men's looks than men do of women's.
Dating apps make it appear that there is unlimited choice. Stanford business school studied this with grocery store chains and types of jam. The more choice of type jam flavor means less ability of the customer to make a choice. In one sample of grocery store chains there were 4 types. The other sample placed 13 types of jam on the shelves. Who sold more units? The stores with only four types. The lesson: more choice means less ability to commit to a product. Same for dating apps. People think they have all this choice so there is an endless pool of people joining and never really committing to a serious relationship. Hence the hookups, ghosting, and frustration men and women have with online dating.
I recently went on two very good dates where the girl was super responsive and we even kissed in the end on both occasions. She told me she was looking for a relationship with traditional values and I mirrored that because it's what I am after... She said such a thing on her profile too. However, after the second date, she ghosted me completely. Worst part about it is that I loaned her a scarf of mine because it was cold on the day of the second date and she basically isn't even bothering to contact me about returning it. I tried reaching about specifically about it, but it's pointless. Inconsiderate, immature, and a thief. Needless to say, it's tough to stay motivated in these apps.
@Big Al Hey man I appreciate the input. I never did give her a second chance after she clearly ghosted me. I do admit that I should have never loaned her my scarf though, dumb move, oh well. I honestly don't care if she moves to her next opportunity, but don't steal basically. That's what I am focusing on here. I don't care about her. Haha.
@@maj0rdave Giving her the scarf was 100% the gentlemanly way to go, and if she was a quality girl she would've appreciated it. There must've been some red flags that you missed during the 2 dates because it takes a pretty low quality human being to ghost people like that and unless she's a very good actress, she had to give off some of that low quality vibe but you somehow missed it.
@@GubyIQ There were a couple of red flags she shared with me, but since the mutual attraction (or so I thought) seemed to have been there at the time, I overlooked it. I mean, you're probably right, I had a gut feeling she was playing me and I should have listened to it. I'm already over it anyway. I appreciate the comment.
@@maj0rdave if i may ask- what made you think she was playing you before stealing your scarf? like constantly checking her phone, being late, rescheduling the dates?
I considered dating apps but I’m not simping for anyone just to make an “impression.” You wanna stand out? Live your life the way it makes sense for YOU and not someone else. It’s more meaningful in the long run when you’re completely free of obligation.
I did the PUA thing some years ago. I knew I had to overcome my dread of approaching women in public, and I did that to some extent. And I must say that I learned a hell of a lot from the experience, but also began to realize that I was just giving women free attention--and that 99% of the women out there only want attention. So I quit, stopped playing the game altogether and moved on to other things. I think that was the right move in my case. I'm not cut out to be a circus animal.
The thing with dating apps is that you're first judged based on your looks and how you present yourself on your profile. It's like copying and pasting someone's work resume because you don't know how to create a dating profile. Then that can make you come off not as being a genuine person. Just because a person has a good profile doesn't mean that person is going to be the right person when you start to date them. That person's profile can be totally misleading just for that person to get dates.
You had the first part right...in fact I remember one "Chad" laughing about sleeping with whoops a 14 year old girl. The joke was he thought she was 16...when the women swiped right many (not most) of them either laughed it off as accidents happen or whatnot. He got the same amount of swipes as anyone else. The first is 90%, the second is 2%, the rest is how you appear outside of the profile, i.e., money, etc.
I’ll never forget when I used Tinder back in 2018 I had it for several months, got a match but surprise surprise she didn’t talk to me. My best friend’s friend he just got out of a long relationship and went on tinder for a week and managed to get 3 matches, talked with all 3 and got a date with one of them, all in that same week. After hearing that I was like “Screw this, it only works for certain people and I’m not one of them” and immediately deleted it.
for the guys- it's always the same guy because of course it is. and that same guy humblebrags by stating you just need to change your photos. it's ladies choice online- but they only want the one guy
I am sure Courtney’s advice on how to improve your profiles is helpful. I have never tried a dating app; and the more and more I hear, the more I think I never will. I’m glad that I have new hobbies that I want to pursue, a business I want to build, dreams of traveling. Hopefully, by working on own goals, I’ll meet the type of people I’d like to attract.
This is the way. It seems more likely to not work out if you’re dedicated too much trying to find dates. It seems too forced and unnatural like finding a job when unemployed.
Courtney I really appreciate how you are very honest and straight to the point. There are thousands of channels on youtube that are disguise themselves as "Men's Lifestyle Help" channels, but really all they do are tell young impressionable men exactly what they want to hear just so they can push some product or BS course. You are one of the few channels that give honest advice without sugarcoating, yet still delivering it in a graceful and kind way. You're like the big sister every young man needs!
Completely agree with Courtney. Dating apps are just a waste of time (the area where you live also plays a role), it's very difficult to show your personality via text messages and I would add, meeting girls while sitting on the toilet is not really the most fun way to get to know each other.
problem is if texting goes well and photos are ood the women build up the way they think you are and 90% of the time the 1st date is a disappointment and then you never hear from them again
The online dating thing is strange in a way. I'm 49 and I can remember picking up girls on dating apps and even in Yahoo chat rooms of all places but this was before social media. I believe social media is what blew up women's expectations because they get so much free attention online for doing nothing at all! I have a dating profile now and rarely do I even get a reply. However my ex met her current husband online so evidently some girls still use it and he is no Chad. This could be a rarity and maybe a few girls actually get on dating sites to actually find a date but the majority just want free attention. Even at age 49 approaching 40yr old women that you would think have less options rarely reply. The entire thing is a mess and I have basically considered dating dead online or not. It shouldn't be this difficult so obviously times have changed and not for the better.
Dudes hold your head up high. I’m 5’5 and I can say with confidence I get a lot of success on Hinge even with girls who know they’re taller along with girls talking to me in public. Literally average dude (not on the height scale 😂) and it’s not that bad. Also I’ve noticed since I’m 27 being more focused on my career it just makes it more chill and easy to interact with women instead of trying so hard. So just do your thing. Listen to Courtney!
Not sure if you've done Tinder or Bumble but I've done those two and Hinge and I found Hinge to be the best for me. As a 25 M, shit was hard on Tinder and honestly, I couldn't stand Bumble lol. Hinge has been cool because you can send messages with your likes and I've found pretty good success with them. Allows you to distinguish yourself a bit better in addition to having a good profile.
All of those apps you have to get a match in order to be able to send a message. If you dont ever get a match like me then those apps are impossible and pointless. And im 6'6" and attractive. Pof is what i use but even that is still a joke.
@@WheresWaldo05 ya you’ve never been on hinge then. Cause you can send direct messages off their photos and questions and answers to those questions. And if they wanna match off of your message they will. Pof is sooo outdated.
@@shaydyluke Might have misremembered but i know their logo is black and white. And pretty sure you are capped on how many messages you can send. Most apps are. Either way that setup is a bad one. So is bumble with women messaging first. Cause that is literally the opposite of women want to do in life. Men need to make the first move. And pof might be outdated but its the only app in 10 yesrs of hardcore dating apps uses that i get any replies. All the other apps its 1 to pofs 100.
I'm 58 and I think I've tried most of the major dating apps/sites (paid and free) over the past 10 years since I got divorced. Courtney here can give all the advice she likes about messages, profiles, photos, etc, but looking at womens' profiles I can never find a shred of common interests, values, personality or lifestyle. Most women in their mid-to late 50s seem to be retired or semi-retired (how?), grandmothers, they all have 'wonderful families', loads of friends, go on holiday several times a year, have at least one dog, ALL drink wine, love to socialize, love the beach ... the list goes on. Is it any wonder I've given up?
Now grant it, I met my wife online. We met on eharmony, then fizzled out. Both dated psychos and then met again on match. Realized we were pretty normal and been together ever since (8yrs, 6 yes married and 3 kids). That being said, online dating was so much $$$ for so few connections (anything that made it past looking at pictures/profile and even fewer dates. The dates I did have, were mostly catfishes, women who wanted a free meal or other serious red flags.
You said in one sentence you met your wife on eharmony. Then the next sentence you say it fizzled out which means you are no longer together. But then the very next sentence you claim you are still together. Either stop with the lies or make some sense!!
@@WheresWaldo05 they met on eharmony, and it didn't work out the first time. they both dated psychos, and then they met again on match. does that make sense?
@@rodiusmaximus Saying "in one sentence", is a figure of speech. But your confusion is understandeable since you got C's or lower in English composition classes.
@@WheresWaldo05 My 'confusion' has nothing to do with your statement about 'one sentence'. It's the part where you can't read more than one sentence. The dude clearly said they met, broke up, dated other people, then met again. My C in English is clearly better than your F.
I have had plenty of success on dating apps. However, overall in my life, I’ve always been far more successful in person. I would give all men this advice: 1. Most women seek love, attention, & protection 2. Most men seek sex, adoration, and feminine nurturing. 3. If you want a traditional woman she’s likely not on the dating site, and if she is, you’re hoping somehow you’ll pop up on her feed and even more unlikely stand out from the thousands of others in her in box 4. Most women that are single and not serious are Liberal and woke (this is factual not an opinion). It absolutely makes sense that this group of women do not have traditional values, and are looking to score with the highest value male they can get to smash. 5. So Either 1. You will probably not score or 2. Those you score with will be much lower in dating value than you. Red pilled men don’t want women because of today’s dating environment. This is unfortunate. Best strategy. Wait and Work on yourself. Become high value. Live a great life. Then go look in the places high value women are more plentiful and let them chase you. You’re chances of finding, dating, and keeping a high value woman on traditional dating apps are extremely low.
Fucking nailed it. Almost every woman is Liberal only at least 4 are conservative but are old school of obviously seeking high value, and tall guy. Im just going to give bumble a month thats it if i don't get anything to the shit hole and other dating apps belonged as I've despised even before using one.
Meeting someone in person isn't "plenty of other options" unfortunately. As a 33 (turning 34 in 3 months) year old guy who's never had a girlfriend the in person route is extremely tough as well and has been limited to girls within a specific area or types of places based purely on the pot luck of what kind of family class you've been born into, as well as how you developed throughout your childhood, through teens and into your adult years, where what you do, and don't, experience is crucial to how you perceive life and opportunities of meeting a woman. I was born with horrendous eyesight and nobody knew until I was like 4 years old why I was being "shy" or not as involved, this was because I literally couldn't see beyond a feet or so in front of me. So I wore glasses my entire childhood from age 5 or so. I was also one of the youngest in my year group so this made me feel like everyone at school had a head start on me, because of being older, then I did actually focus a lot on my schoolwork because I basically thought I'd never be good looking or ever need to focus on my appearance because dating apps didn't exist when I was at primary school or secondary school. Everyone who was in a previous generation found their partner through real life and neither person was particularly fantastic looking yet I saw that it was possible. Throughout college and uni I did start wearing contact lenses but my uni life I lived at home to avoid getting into lots of debt and still wasn't massively in tune with my appearance, which probably I only started becoming more aware of as I got into my mid 20s and still hadn't had a girlfriend and the internet and social media were both in full swing and dating apps were emerging. I've had some attention in person, probably equivalent to the total amount of attention I've had from girls online and/or dating apps, so it's fairly balanced, but nothing ever develops. Girls on dating apps ghost, I don't have enough time to give them the attention they apparently need nor have the energy to come up with massively unique conversations and incredibly humorous stand out jokes and laughable stuff, because effectively that's still only a slight bit ahead of small talk. It doesn't really imply a great deal for what you've got going for yourself in terms of your career, how kind or generous you are as a person, and actually how interesting and exciting you can be and want to share tonnes of experiences with a girl.
I never really pursued dating. I am thankful I have plenty of oppurtunity, but i want to be at my best first before even thinking of dating. My mistake in college was letting people pressure me into asking out bad girls who had no future except finding a mate that can support their needs. Thanks to this channel, my path is more peaceful towards my career.
I'm 6' 0", great bone structure, great jawline, great smile, funny, athletic, smart, successful, charming, an excellent cook, full of anecdotes and can keep a conversation going with a wall. I've had one date since I started using dating apps back in college ~8 years ago. It's hopeless.
Guys ....unless you are Tom Brady or Tom Selleck . Your chances of finding a girl on dating apps is slim . Dating apps work for women as long as they are young and have youth on their side . As a woman gets older . It works against them because ...women rely on their beauty to attract.
Way too many guys get on dating apps without even thinking about what they want first. If you're looking for a woman who's going to support you in building the life of your dreams, good luck finding that by hopping on Tinder. Way too many men compromise and even give up on all their ambitious goals just to get into long-term relationships. I think it's more normal to use online dating apps to meet someone now-a-days, but you have to know what you want or else you're just going to end up in an unhealthy situation.
Absolutely! Majority of men on the dating apps aren’t truly genuine themselves and lack ambition, purpose and vision. Decent gentlemen like myself gave up on the apps because I have highest standards and boundaries one can ever have. I’m Christian and extremely ambitious, I have purpose and vision in my personal life and I would rather date a girl who is into her reading and writing than someone who posts 24/7 selfies of themselves because to me that comes across like an attention seeking and someone in need of validation.
The biggest problem I had with dating apps were the constant “bot” accounts that kept messaging me. But as far as real accounts go, this video has a lot of great tips and advice 👍
Agreed. So many sites have bots, and I've fallen for it several times, luckily without great financial damage. There are reviews covering many sites and well worth consulting.
Fake pictures, bots there's really no way to know if a person is telling the truth. To easy to lie about everything, kids, gender, stds, jobs, anything.
Dating apps are complete garbage. They reward shallowness, I had to hide my photos to even get women to converse with me. And then they blocked me after I showed my face. I had a small, but noticeable uptick in activity to my profile during the initial phase of the pandemic since I kept my job as an essential employee. In my experience, I have had more attention in real life, especially since I've been working out and training.Now, I even get checked out by women in front of their guys but I flat out ignore them since I'm not looking for trouble. I deleted all my dating profiles, since they didn't work all that well for me and have tried exploring speed dating events, but alas no luck there since they were cancelled due to COVID. I've not given up though.
I used the anger and frustration from getting nowhere on dating apps, etc as fuel to actually drop my balls and start to approach women I find interesting in real life, to ask to them out, etc. sadly got rejected most of the time. ohh well, atleast it better then staring at some screen waiting for a match/message.
I think from a evolutionary biological perspective, woman have to be picky about what man they date because if they get pregnant, they will under- go a physical, physiological and emotional transformation for 9 months and possibly risk death during child birth..so I get it. It is what it is. I have found that when a woman looks at you repeatedly in public it a a possible sign that she is open and receptive to talking to you and possibly going further in dating depending how the conversation goes. So my advice, save your self frustration at approach women who look at you, smile at you, wave at you, etc.
@@Eserr7856 From an evolutionary perspective women want to get pregnant...yet fewer and fewer are doing so....they are fine to throw off evolution when it is selfish, but they cry about evolution when it helps men.
@@CatGamer-wc2ij you sound bitter and angry against women, evolution doesn't care about your feelings and failings in mating. Adapt, evolve, restrategize, win or fail, it is what it is.
@@Eserr7856 Please tell me exactly where I sound bitter? This way I can address your points civilly. Name calling and blaming is equally as bad as body shaming or something non-sensical like that. You pointed out evolution, and so did I. Were you justifying their actions? If so justify ALL men for our biological drives. Or are you attacking them since they can't "control" themselves due to biology, i.e., pathetic gender? I am simply confused about where you come from....you seem to want it all ways and that's not happening.
Okay, I've used dating websites in the past on five different occasions. Here's how the dates went: The first time was a woman who as emotionally distraught because she was constantly fighting with her family, and spent the whole date using me as a sounding board where I was ready to scream out in anguish during the entire date. The next time was with a woman who was shabbily dressed and very scrawny looking (she was dressed very attractively and filled out nicely in her photos to hide this), and was just looking for a free meal because she was unemployed and had no money, and was totally broke (you could tell by the way she focused on her meal and devoured her food that she really wasn't into meeting somebody otherwise). The third time was with a woman who was very friendly, but in the end was just using the meet-up of the date to try and recruit me into a multi-level marketing company, which I of course declined. For the 4th time, I figure my luck had to start changing, and met a woman who initially appeared to be levelheaded, but as it turned out she was totally into Buddhism which was the only thing she talked about the entire date. The last date I met a woman who again appeared to be straight forward, but in the end was only looking for somebody to help raise her pre-teen daughter, which of course turned me off right away. After that last one, I decided NO MORE DATING WEBSITES FOR ME! I'll just stick with trying to meet women IRL. At least this way you know more of what you're getting beforehand.
Here's how mine went 1. Raped me on a third date 2. Lied to be about selling coke 3. Called me a fucking idiot when I said I don't invite strangers to my home 4. Spoke about himself and was a police inspector. He asked me for all my exes first names 5. Was addicted to porn. So yeah consider yourself lucky lol
Dating apps aren't quite for dating as they are hook ups. If you wanna date for long term, you gotta make good impressions with a physical approach. Too many 4s 5s and 6s have too many options while those options become orbiters. Not cool folks
I hear ya - Joseph! Great tips - by Courtney! I can see how a lot of men might struggle to get what they want - when it comes to using Dating Apps… If you’re just an average guy with not that much of experience with the online dating - it’s going to be hard to stand out. Women just have too many options nowadays - it’s just the way it is, you’re just going to have to be patient until you start to understand what works, and what doesn’t! It’s just like anything - there’s going to be plenty of setbacks on your way to master any particular skill - and being successful with Dating Apps is a skill that you have to develop! If you keep working on it - it’ll just be a matter of time before you become great at it! Cheers! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
Let me turn the tables? Why should she date you? What are you 1- 10? Are you built like a tank? Do you have a 6 figure salary? How big is your social media following? If the answer is no to any of the above? Then you're a 7 at best. You got to have all 3 to be Chad. If the answer is no on 2 of the above you're a 5 or below. No on all 3?? Then forget it! Don't bother as no girl above a 1. Go read redpill, hit the gym, do overtime at work, get your MBA, etc. Once you get the $$ and a fit body it will make a big difference
Thank you for acknowledging that there's plenty of girls who toy with people's emotions just for attention. I had no idea so many people did that. Especially women. So now I'm all too familiar with being strung along and the manipulation tactics it entails. Thanks for not glossing over it. Now I know to not internalize being treated like that. But for most of my life I didn't know any better. I've gone from being too trusting to being hypervigilant of everyone.
Rule of thumb: if a woman’s profile has more than a third of drinking photos (bars, holding a drink, etc.)… *…she’s only on the app to get dudes to buy drinks for her.*
I am 26 years old and still never had a girlfriend. I am tempted to make a profile on a dating app but the thing that is keeping me from doing that is the fact that I don't trust it.
Well, I do know women who have spent way to much on dating apps. But I think that the advice about the business model is spot on: They are designed to keep you on the app ("sticky"), just give you enough hope to waste your money, but not enough that they lose you as a customer because you get into a long term relationship. Exactly like gambling. Think about it - if a manufacturer built a car that never needed repair, they would quickly go out of business. A dating app where everyone met the love of their life on the first swipe would go out of business. I am not saying dating apps are bad, they are no better or worse than any other way of meeting someone. I do think a healthy degree of skepticism should be applied. As far as ways to meet people, try them all. I have to say though you are most likely to meet someone you have something in common with when you are doing things you like to do. So just get out and enjoy life.
I have a sneaking suspicion that a new guy signing up receives an 'algorithmic boost' as it were. This is done to create a false sense of success and that it might continue into the future. Interestingly, if you then delete the app and leave for a month or two before signing back up, this boost seems to reoccur. To you're point though, these apps are businesses like any other and are created with the intent of making a profit. Definitely a financial incentive to ensure people become hooked on the dopamine rush the app could give them.
I'm sorry Courtney, I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one. You are an attractive woman and your bf is an attractive man. You two are literally what dating apps were designed for. Also your perspective is from the attractive side, its like taking financial advice from a Hedge Fund manager, while the advice is helpful, its not going to help a poor man in Mozambique Good video though
Is it possible to make yourself more attractive physically, like exercising and grooming to the best of your ability? If so, then maybe add in to that and do some research about finances. But don’t do it just to find chicks 🐣 (the baby chick is a joke), but to help radiate your energy to attract better people in your life.
You can make yourself more attractive by either being a catfish online or getting surgery to your face. If not those then nothing else is correct or helps. #facts
Hedge fund managers arent financial experts. They are stock "experts". Would you pay a hedge fund manager to help you tidy up your bills and finances in yor personal life? I wouldnt. I would get advise from a financial planner. Apples to oranges.
Yeah 2 matches on Hinge in a week plus since I have been on there. I’m a very attractive guy in his 30’s but apps don’t work but in real life I get way more looks
Girls from dating apps who show sincere interest in me, activity, ask questions, are curious ... well, the kind of girls that generally show a real desire to get to know me, unfortunately ALWAYS have children from a previous relationship, are already in their 30's, or are simply not very pretty (to put it mildly ), and most often ... all at once! Anyway, I always find them physically unattractive, even if they have a great personality. I have such a strange feeling that most of our next generations will be children from unplanned, accidental pregnancies raised by single mothers, because women show no interest in anything other than the typical "Chad" (even the appearance of a model won't help if it's not followed by "numbers" - I mean being famous on Instagram, TikTok or something like that is a must to get a physically attractive girl).
Exactly. It just shows how shallow women are - they have to be hurt strong enough in the first place to just start treating men with basic respect ("show sincere interest in me, activity, ask questions, are curious"). It's awful.
Ya those are bottom of the barrel used up fishes 🤣 Somewhat right. Dated a chick who self sabotaged our thing and next thing you know she got knocked up by a black guy with 2 different baby mommas...guess who's a single mom now? 🤣
Dating apps should be used in addition to meeting someone in real life. That means, yes guys, that cute girl that you have practically been undressing with your eyes, you have to go have a conversation with. The beginning of the conversation doesn't have to be anything amazing. A simple "Hi my name is (insert your name) what's your name?" Should work. I don't always agree with Courtney, but, the realist thing I probably have heard her say is you've got to know when to walk away and dating apps aren't for everyone. So, using the app in addition to approaching someone in real life SIGNIFICANTLY increases your odds of finding someone.
What a great even handed look at the issue. Hitting the truth but with a taste of optimism and It’s great to hear this content from a woman. Spoiler alert: The best advice is to get off the dating apps and meet people in real life. Oddly enough you can be in a small country town and literally have better odds.
A big issue with dating apps as a guy is that even if you get a date, the woman is still being messaged and liked by lots of other guys on the app. What’s to say she doesn’t go home that evening and then find a better option out of the hundreds of guys who are liking her profile. I am even guilty of this “paradox of choice” where I always think there might be someone more compatible or convenient for me to date, but women really have this issue x100 compared to most guys. That’s why it is so hard to create a genuine connection with someone from the apps. People are always thinking they can do better than the option in front of them.
She is 100% accurate on the pricing/profit model. When dating apps first came out they were a lot more easy going and both men and women generally enjoyed them more. They were also much much cheaper. But as more and more people joined and a single company started acquiring the apps, they adjusted their pricing model, and they now currently get their profits from men paying for the apps. Once the dating app company(s) learned how much men would pay for the apps, the adjusted their pricing model. As a man, when I first got on dating apps I was getting 30-40 good matches a day living in a good area, and I could go on good dates multiple times a week. Now, in 2023, I still can get matches without issue, but the amount of fake profiles, scam artists, and the generally ridiculous pricing model has turned me away.
Great advice as always. Reminds me of a Ted Talk about dating apps that actually work to steer you AWAY from your best matches! What?! Why?!! To keep you ON the app. If you met your perfect match, then you'd both delete your account and then they would lose 2 customers!
I've spoken to so many girls about a good profile and the range of answers is insane, "if your photos look too good we swipe left thinking it's fake", "if you've got a picture of you with a drink it's weird", "if you've got a picture of you holding your pet it doesn't look manly"
Let me translate to you guys from womanese: >It''s difficult to stand out You have to stand out and not have average looks. You have to be a supermodel otherwise you will be just like any other guy on this app. >Using apps for validation Us, women, are allowed to do this. Also we will gladly validate Chad and his good looks. >Your profile stinks. You don't have supermodel pictures on your profile. Eeeewww. >Your messages are weak In the meantime Chad can send me a message of "WYD? Wanna fook?" and I'll faint from happiness.
I’m 24 and I’m basically all set career wise and very well off. I devoted a lot of time to my career to get here and had to skip on a lot of social experiences. I’ve gotten lots of matches online but not with people I’m interested in. Normally single moms. Then when I started pursuing some of those options they’d be like omg you must be dating so many people. Made me feel like I was settling and putting myself up as a half price clearance sale. Started pursuing people I met in person and in person I seem to meet better women. Dating has just overall been confusing and really bad for my confidence and I’ll blame apps for that. Other than that I’m pretty confident with everything else in life
I dropped 100$ for 6 months of Tinder and 20$ bumble. Overall, I wasted so much time and money. Even if I match someone they either never respond or they tell me to sub to their only fans to talk. Thanks for the vid
Just get rid of dating apps honestly, worst idea ever, because honestly dating is difficult because you got guys that are immature, disgusting, rude, don’t take things serious, and just bad, and then you got girls that are also immature, that also lead on dudes then to fall on them and make the guy look like a bad person, and there girls that don’t take anything serious also and just think everything is funny, and you got me a 16 year old Autistic 6ft tall dude that’s hardworking, works at Walmart, and also open minded, cool, mature, mannerable, and confident but nope almost every girl at school not all but most that I’ve met don’t take me seriously, or just think I’m a clown. same thing with friends, most friends I used to have treated me more like Someone they knew but not friends instead of treating me like a friend.
Even if you get off them, it's changed dating period. If you approach a girl in real life, her ego and believed options have been so wildly inflated by dating apps that she'll likely not be interested in you.
I’ve always made neat & clean cut profiles! I quit the dating sites back In 2019! I used to care and feel discouraged about it! When I moved back to Detroit and started getting money it’s more of I don’t need anyone now! I’m my own person and no one can tell me any different
I appreciate the perspective. I think the app culture we have kind of stuck ourselves in brings a lot of troubles as well as boons. On one hand people who may never interact with each other can (sometimes on a worldwide perspective) which is pretty cool. On the other hand I feel like it brings along with two difficult aspects. One is a "meat market mentality" which is to say if you have a lot of options, generally you will pick the best one or even look and look and look for the best one. Maybe the best one isn't even showcased yet. That mindset will get a lot of men and/or women to not "settle" even if truly their choice may be a great one. The second aspect I think apps brings is that it gives a false sense of that you are out there. Similar to how some video games make you feel like you are socializing. In reality you are simply on a computer screen/phone and not really honing those skills which would allow you greater success in the dating sphere
Be patient. Be persistent. For better or worse, many women do judge the book by its cover when it comes to dating apps, so initial impressions are important. But the next steps, if she shows any interest, have to be made to cultivate her interest. There aren’t really any shortcuts. Live your best life, be healthy, happy, active, and keep learning to beef up your heart and mind, and you’ll have the best chance of that shining through. The good thing about this is you will be making your own life better while you patiently build your ‘brand’. Just be good to people, be true to yourself, keep making friends along the way, and when you least expect it, you’ll meet someone who is simpatico.
You should do a video of what dating apps and sites are like from a woman's point of view. Ask them questions such as, do they feel overwhelmed? How do they choose a guy amongst the hundreds or thousands of options? Do they ever have a fear of missing out when they choose a guy to go out with knowing they have hundreds or thousands of other guys in their queue?
I'm so frustrated with dating apps. They have pummeled my confidence into oblivion. If I can't even get a reply, It's unlikely I will ever get a date, even MORE unlikely to get a date, WAY WAY more unlikely to get a second date, and EXTRAORDINARILY unlikely to find a long term partner. And with real life... it's pretty much the same. Never see any mutual interest tbh
Focus on building friendships with women and forget about dating. Probably with modern day dating everyone wants to jump into dating right away. The key to a good relationship is friendship. You'll likely be way more comfortable around the person.
As a 31yo man, that has totally removed himself from the dating market, the more I see what's happening, the more I think my decision was the correct one.
I've been on a lot of dates, but I have to admit that I'm really good at texting. The downside for me is that while I'm good at texting, I'm more of an introvert in real life. But now it has gotten a lot better. It used to be much worse
@@CourtneyRyan I made a quick burner account on Tinder to test this. I even changed the specifics to my age and within the smallest distance possible and it still took a while to show up.
It seems like the only winning move is not to play. If the goal is to stand out in a game of superficiality, what is the benefit to anyone looking for love?
I saw this one article that used a dating app's API to gather metrics. It showed the top female profiles and top male profiles. Based on my memory, the top female profiles had at least 70 matches a day. The top male profiles had like 2 matches a day... This article is an old one and it's strange to imagine some of the most attractive men only getting 2 matches a day, but I think you can see there is a major gap. The numbers aren't in your favor. Use online dating to supplement real life dating.
You summed it all up pretty well. Being single isn’t that bad these days for men either, I’ve saved so much more money working full time than I would have if I was married with kids. I do want those things someday but if it doesn’t happen it doesn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard though.
Yeah that’s crazy. Does society ever stop to think about this ridiculous imbalance? Nope. It’s just too rare for a woman to make the move. If you’re a guy who doesn’t go out of his way to seek them out you’ll get zero attention and remain single/lonely. We need to reverse the roles a bit here. Make it closer to 50/50 instead of 99/1.
I saw an article like that once, and it examined the most successful people on a dating app (forgot which one). They actually showed two men and one woman, I don’t know their success rates or any metrics, but they claimed they were most successful, and they showed their profiles and talked a bit about them.
Im glad Courtney capped off this video not by saying make these changes and you WILL be successful. She acknowledges that dating apps are very superficial and if your not fairly good looking you may not be successful, but there are other options. Shes 100% correct, all hope is not lost, meet someone in person. Part of attraction is someone wanting/persuing you, so when you do that in person it increases the attraction of women toward you because by approaching her you've shown: 1.) That at least have the confidence or courage to approach 2.) That you desire her which increases attraction
Then what are guys supposed to do to meet women outside of apps? As far as I know many women don't even want to be approached anymore. I'm assuming dating girls is nearly impossible now for guys altogether (especially the average and below average guys).
Join a club. A social club like Toastmaster. Or a volunteer club. There are more girls in there and you have the opportunity to make friends, take it slow and read the room.
@@kalunkoup What on earth is toastmaster? And no, there isn't more girls there. I mean I already go to the gym and there's plenty of girls there, unfortunately it's seen as a crime to approach girls there. Lol I honestly wish I could willingly give up, but my dumb monkey brain won't allow me to do so
Asking some guys to be self aware is easier said than done. Probably the best advice you can offer, but the hardest for someone to apply to themselves. Self awareness hurts. I don't personally have a problem with it but so many guys do. And their fear of looking inward keeps them from moving forward.
Validation and ego boost is spot on- i think majority of women are on them for that, The disturbing things is women are still on the dating app even when they have a partner. They still want daily validation.
Great tips! I can see how a lot of men might struggle to get what they want - when it comes to using Dating Apps… If you’re just an average guy with not that much of experience with the online dating - it’s going to be hard to stand out. Women just have too many options nowadays - it’s just the way it is, you’re just going to have to be patient until you start to understand what works, and what doesn’t! It’s just like anything - there’s going to be plenty of setbacks on your way to master any particular skill - and being successful with Dating Apps is a skill that you have to develop! If you keep working on it - it’ll just be a matter of time before you become great at it! Cheers! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
There are women who are beautiful, but don't know that they're beautiful. There are also lot of women who used to be overweight or made fun of when they were younger that have self esteem issues. And then there are women who know they're beautiful but are tired of people seeing them just for their outer appearance, and are just waiting for someone to recognize/connect with them on their inner beauty. The IG/social media model/attention seeking women are instantly identifiable and not worth the trouble.
Courtney, help us with this: Most women's bios are something like: "No I will not do this or that for you. Swipe left if you're sexist or conservative. I expect this this and this. Benefits of dating me are: none" Yes I see all of this stuff literally every day. No wonder half the population is single
Depending on what anyone looks for, they will invest the time and effort into that goal. Someone in search of a relationship will most likely review a person's entire profile, not just a photo or their bio alone. Someone in search of a fling or dopamine hit are not mature and will haphazardly make selfish decisions that hurt (long-term) rather than help (short-term). You have to be yourself, know who you are, what you want, and who you want in your life. Dating is like pruning; if we do not remove the overgrowth, we cannot grow healthily. Even if Courtney's viewers knew what her and Teddy's dating profiles were like, it still does not show who they are until they meet in person.
Dating apps never worked for me but I do really well in real life....it's weird. I have a girlfriend now but I still get attention from girls IRL....barely any matches on dating apps and no high value girls.
Women who are average or slightly cute are always feeling entitled to guys that are in the top 10. Guys in the top 10 are willing to sleep with them but not give them a serious relationship. Then the women feel like they are being wronged. In reality, it’s the women’s fault. Chads know their worth, and they know they deserve a girl in their level. Just because they we have fun with a 6 or a 7 when we ourselves are a 10, does not mean we have feelings for her. I highly recommend women to shop in their price range and stop friend zoning men that are on their level, if they don’t want to get their hearts broken.
This is great. I'm divorced and single and had an awful time with dating apps. I have a female friend who is going through a divorce and single. We were complaining to each other about the dating scene. I brought up the topic of how bad dating apps are for men and how women have all the choices. She was like "where are all my choices?" I said ,"create a profile and you'll have 20 guys hitting you up by the end of the week." Her response was, "oh I already made one and went on several dates."
I saw a study recently and it shows that 95% of women swipe on 5% of men, whereas men are willing to swipe on nearly 50% of women. What this means is that for the most part, only the top 5% of men see any success on dating apps. Women know they are going to get tons of messages and matches, so they know they can bat way above their average and meet up with basically anyone they want to swipe right on, thus they only swipe right on the best of the best. As a result, those top guys see plenty of action, and the bottom 95% may get one or two matches in a week or something like that. Trust me, if you’re a guy and you’re not in that top 5% (you’d know if you are) then get off dating apps. It’s not worth the effort you’d have to put in just to match with someone who is probably just average and likely will end up not responding to your message anyways. All the dating apps will do is ruin your mental psyche making you feel invisible and worthless. If you want to see more success, constantly put yourself out there in public. The more you’re out in public the better chances you have of finding yourself in a situation where you might meet someone
5:15 The girl who said she wouldn't date anyone from a dating because they're on a dating app, despite being on there herself: what a child and narcissist. She managed to insult both men and women on the apps with her comment. Disgusting.
I think the issue is due to a variety of reasons. 1- More men to women ratio. The country I live in. Believe it or not, there’s roughly 100 men to 10 women on dating apps. Girls get likes instantly. 2- A new profile vs old. When I got on dating apps the first time, I was loaded with likes and conversions. About 3-4 matches a week, nothing major but something was working. After deleting & re-download and app multiple times over a span, now I’m at the point where I barely get one match in 10 days. Anxiety and stress. Yes. 3- On and average 50% of the women are just seeking validation, attention & someone to talk to. I believe the figure is higher. Figuring out the balance between Either taking it slow in messaging and possibly wasting your time or get flirty and get ghosted or unmatched. I’ve met women through dating apps, but it’s a numbers game. If you are getting on for the first time or travelling around. Enjoy while it lasts. Meeting women in real life is much more easier & in public go for women that are giving you choosing signals, you’re bound to have a better time or atleast improve your game, and like the comment someone posted. Most women assume us men get bombarded with likes and matches. Just keep it that way.
Given by the data provided by dating apps, can be assumed that less than 1% do end up in a successful relationship. To some maybe being non zero is good enough for them but would not let them have high hopes on them
Personally I use it because it's a relatively risk free way to at least attempt to find someone. Cold approaching is generally dangerous because harassment is based more on a female's feelings than a man's intentions and I don't like the idea that any women could (I have to assume the worst so can and will are the same when it comes to risk assessment for me) give me a record because she's not interested. Can't really go anywhere because I'm broke. The workplace is by far the most dangerous place to approach women since your career is on the line. Yes I realize that if you have experience it's not as bad but to get experience you will make mistakes and when dealing with women you cannot afford to make any mistakes.
Guys all you have to do is standout. Then everyone is standing out, then no one is standing out. Want to improve the situation? Delete the dating apps.
Lol, but so true !
100%. I like Courtney and she has a lot of good advice. But just because dating apps worked for her, doesn’t mean they are even an option for most men.
👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿 best comment on this vid.
@@americancapitalist9094 absolutely not an option. Work on you first young men, the females will come later and a newer crop ta boot.
@@americancapitalist9094 To be fair to her though, the second half of the video was basically her saying just get off of them in a gentle way. But yes absolutely.
Met a girl off the dating apps who said she swipes left on guys if she doesn’t like how their name is spelled. I basically told her she’s going overboard and she told me she “earned her right to be picky and don’t be so sensitive”. That’s what men have to deal with today.
Amen!! Women are shallow!
Well women are totally swamped by attention. The result is an obvious and understandable one. They get very picky.
@@whywhenwhere4377 thats not very picky thats deranged & neurotic
Karma will reach her in her thirties.
Maybe if it’s extremely weird the way it’s spelt, she might assume that your parents are weird
As a man using Tinder I found it was incredibly toxic to my pscyhe. I rarely if ever get a match and many of the girls profiles are narcassictic with comments basically being like "dance for me monkey" or "if I swiped right it's for your dog, not you". It's hard not to get resentful when that's what you keep seeing.
As an introvert I decided I'll have to suck it up and approach women in public. I genuinely believe I have a lot to offer and the couple of times I did approach I ended up hooking up with the girl. These apps totally ruined my self confidence too. When I'm with a girl she always assumes I'm getting laid like twice a week and girls are all up in my DM's. I never correct them because if I were to tell them they're the only match I had in two weeks, or no girl has ever messaged me before they'd think something was wrong with me. I really think women have no idea about if a man doesn't invest a large amount of energy into finding women he can remain single for the rest of his life, without any girl ever approaching him.
100%. well said from my perspective
THe most hilarious ones were the unattractive sjws who say “swipe left if you voted right” or “conservatives swipe left” 😂😂😂 as if they would’ve gotten swiped on regardless
@@maximusdecimusmeridious3784 Don't get me started on 2s acting like 10s lol
@@maximusdecimusmeridious3784 you would be shocked how many matches unattractive girls get. You underestimate how many guys that are starving for something. Just think about it. If the vast majority of men are getting nothing. And we know men. Why wouldn't a large majority of these men, who don't believe they can get a top quality women and are not willing to put themselves out there not go for any type of woman? Men are not like women. Whereas we see many woman say they would rather get nothing than have to settle, men do not say such things. In reality men will get what they can get. Very few men, will wait and work and grind to get the top women. Biologically speaking, out genetic make up works against us. Whereas women search for the best mate to give them the best offspring they can get during their 9 month pregnancy, dudes are trying to create as many children as possible and spread their genes
Yea, women are totally clueless when it comes to many struggles men have to overcome. Women apply their situation (a lot of matches, they being approched, easily getting laid etc.) to men. Women are so hypocritical, when they EXPECT men to do all the hard work (like approaching, initiative, planning how to "entertain them" like we are monkeys in their circus), but at the same time they won't approach men, because "it's scary/hard/time-consuming etc." (all type of excuses). They scream "We want equality!", but at the same time expect to still have the "traditional" advantages.
I'm 6'4", I model, Bodybuild and play sports and let me tell you, that dating apps aren't the way to go if you really want to find genuine relationships or stay confident in yourself. I've gotten hundreds of matches and asked them all what they want and most of the girls on there just want an ego boost, want to smash/hookup or just BS you.
The amount of narcissists on there is wild so i deleted all those apps and found that staying focused on myself and my goals has made me more desirable to women in person and I've had alot more interactions with them just by staying focused on my success.
It doesnt matter if deleting the apps made you more desirable to women or even having more interactions with them after deleting cause you should be having interactions with them anyway. This whole thing about being admired by girls gets old and means nothing unless you sleep with them or make them your girlfriend
@@ABABABABABABABABABABBBBBB I said staying focused and working towards my own personal growth and success brought me more interactions with women as well as having more worthwhile interactions with them in person rather than hoping to see a few pretty ones on an app.
never said that deleting dating apps made me desirable at all. They did however, make me stop worrying or checking up on them frequently and gave me more drive and focus on other worthwhile things is what helped mostly
I realized this a few years ago. …lately tried again on apps ….bad idea. You are completely right. Well said brother
But you have that option. I live and run a business in a place where I literally come into contact with zero single women withing 5 years of my age. I have to stay here to run my successful business, so I try to make these apps work out, to get in touch with girls just beyond where I live.
I wish there were any women my age here. I can't just drive around to other places looking for women all the time, that would take up all my time. I think you are right though. These apps do not work for men, and we shouldn't use them
@@jaymase3735 I agree. I have a suit guy friend and paradoxically he only matched with below average looking women. Those ladies there (yes, especially the attractive ones) seem to draw pleasure out of saying no to a boss man. And some of those women don’t have the confidence to match with a suit guy (because he looks like requiring character also from ladies which most attractive women there don’t have). So, yes, for us quality men here, Tinder is certainly garbage.
My problem with dating apps is that 99% of the girls I match with are 👻's. After 1 or 2 texts, they're already done. I don't say anything out of the ordinary either. It's incredibly hard to meet women from my experience.
Same here.
And I'm pretty sure that's not your fault, girls don't care anymore. And why would they? They get attention and validation in seconds, so all the things that they are biologically set to crave. Someone said that social media for women is like porn for men. You don't even have to get out of bed to basically see/get whatever you want.
That's it! Also, as a serious man, I definitely don't want to stay hours finding out how to behave like a 🤡only for temporarily amuse those ladies and get some more pitiful replies.
In two years of Tinder, I've met a really awesome person only once, but she was incredibly distant (on the other side of the world, indeed) and we never got to see each other physically, despite we both wanted to really hard. Fantastic vibe tho. Unluckily, now she engaged a relationship with another guy of her city and we are done for now. That's the only regret I have, or I would have canceled this app out of my life long time ago.
You have to be direct and not get involved in back and forth texting. A couple of messages then ask to meet, this gets rid of the time wasters. If a women is truly into you she will want to meet.
Yep... tik tok brain. China infiltrated their attention span... and media infiltrated their ego to delusional levels
Step One to a good dating life: Stay the hell away from dating apps!
Lies again? Phone Stalker
Step two, stop chasing women who don't and never will, want you.
The moral of the story is that even if you're a "Chad," dating apps and even social media are used more for an ego boost and hookups rather than serious relationships. A lot of women (not all) hide behind these dating apps because they are afraid that if they actually go out in the real world and meet people, some men might find out they're not as glamorous and perfect as they seem online. Go meet people outside and get dates that way unless you're lucky enough to get matches and dates via dating apps and social media.
That is what I do. I just speak to everyone in person, including hot girls.
On a dating app an average girl will get plenty of responses. An average guy will get little to no responses. Dating apps are a waste of time for the average guy. Agreed take your chances going out places.
Still have to be attractive enough to not have the girl instantly think you're creepy and run away...
@@rnt45t1 Keep clean, get some cool clothes that fit you well, get a proper haircut that suits your face and have an accessory or two, like a nice watch and a bracelet or necklace. Wear a nice subtle cologne or after-shave.
Take care of your physical body. Eat well, get exercise. No drugs, no booze and no smoking.
Keep your home clean and tidy.
@@antonboludo8886 I'm bald :/ I do work out though and I stopped drinking and went completely straight edge last year. Lost 60lbs.
Dating apps these days are profit-driven and it's very important to understand this. Hinge is designed to be deleted? BS. It's designed as a gamified funnel to selling a monthly subscription that uses the hope of providing value (in the form of a relationship) as the engine of conversion for the sake of maximizing reliable cash flow back to Hinge. All dating apps these days use the same mechanics that casino engineers employ to keep people playing and get them addicted to the hope of scoring big (lights, flashes, notifications, flags, pop-ups, anything RED, to keep it exciting and to keep your brain scattered and stimulated rather than focused). As long as they preserve the feeling of hope, people will keep playing, and wasting their time and money.
This is unreal how factual this is
It saddens me to know how horrible dating has become. I can’t deny longing to meet someone soon.
am i the only one who wasnt dumb enough to waste money on a dating app? that sounds like the biggest waste of money ever especially if the main functions of the app like matching and messaging are free, so anything more than that is a gimmick
@@NickmadeStupidVideo on the same boat.
figured out stuff and decided to never go past the paywall
🙌
This analogy is spot on i agree with this. Totally makes sense im like why use a dating app when you can meet the girl in real life you have to anyways at some point right so why put extra time and effort into using a stupid app when you can meet a women and person and a make move. Dating give you no health or social benefits.
The moment I got away from all dating apps, I met the right woman. That in itself is very telling.
I need to do this… too many hook ups that I have no self control of in my life… women basically use me and throw me away after a night. Guys might think it’s amazing but it really isn’t.
"I met the right woman"
Are you sure?
How do you know she is the right woman?..
@@haitaelpastor976 Without a shadow of a doubt.
@Knight-Sgt. Reyes "She is right"
Famous last words.
I deleted all dating apps. I’ve had some success on it but ultimately it’s not worth it. And with all due with respect Courtney I know you are trying to be understanding and empathetic. But you will never truly know what it’s like for a regular guy. You are an incredibly beautiful woman. And you’re going to attract the top guys with ease. And those guys aren’t going to have the as many challenges as the ‘average’ guy. So yes it’s possible to meet someone special for some people, but for the average guy save yourself the headache.
No offense Patrick but as long as you feel that she is an incredibly beautiful woman you will have problems with dating. Work on yourself brother don't make a woman the center of your life. Once you focus on you and will start achieving success they will flock.
@@GoAlphaIce no offense taken
@@GoAlphaIce how is he wrong? Do you think she went through hordes of rejection, ghosts, and flakes? She had positive reinforcement from the outset. Its amazing how people who got a yes early on in life thinks versus others who never got that yes.
@@Idontknowhoiamanymore good start brother, keep grinding)
@@vitamindealer7915 I hear you but please stop focusing on what you did not get brother (it will poison your mind an body), focus on what's ahead. I was born in a small village outside of the US. I worked hard all my life and was told no for 10 years straight by US employers, but I kept improving till I got my yes, beginning was hard but it was all temporary. Been told no by many women but kept improving and started getting yes's. I joined the Army, was told 14 times in MEPS I won't get the MOS I want but kept coming until I got the one I wanted. Had young kids die in front of me regardless of how much I wanted to save them. Brother there are 3.5 billion women and you have one life so enjoy it. Women biologically can see and feel your inner strength so start working on it.
Dating apps, alongside Instagram, has made women delusional and, as a result of it, it’s made men remain single. I’ve asked women if they prefer online dating or meeting in person and 99% of them prefer meeting in person. If you’re a man who wants to date then meet women in person instead of online because you’re only making it harder for yourself, with all of the competition in her inbox. After all, online dating for women is dating on easy mode and online dating for men is dating in hard mode
Meeting women in person is also impossible now
@@UserRobot215 they want to text to know you first
I'm looking for someone it's hard because of scams on those dating site of fake profiles..
@@courtneyjames8223 maybe I really DO look uncannily like Brad Pitt in 2004...
Where can we find you in person? i am all for it
It's damaging to self esteem to never get matches. I get that. But matches are like phone numbers. They don't mean anything unless it results in meeting up.
In a way it's 10x worse to get matches regularly but to be used for validation and attention. It's like one endless tease. If I had to choose, I'd much rather only get 3-5 matches per month that resulted in actual meetups.
The harsh reality is women have so much abundance of choice that their interest can change hour to hour and day to day. The flakey nature of society is at an all time high. 💯
For the average looking guys….don’t waste your time on the dating apps. It is basically a sausage fest. The best way to meet women is introduction thru mutual friends or families.
A better way is to just go be around Women. Go where they go.
yeah but seems they are all on apps now
@@SystematicMechanic yeah just go where they go...and you can sit there while they stare at their phones
no friends, no family. Now what lol? It sucks living in the country, don't ever leave a city. there's 3 hot girls in the entire county and the entire county is after them.
@@alanparks3402 if you are white, go to a Asia country. And don’t go there just to have sex. Go there to look for a serious relationship. But you have to learn a little bit to speak the local language. Don’t go for the girls that can speak English well, because they probably are dating many foreigners etc.
When my ex wife and I split up we both signed up for CMB. Within 3 weeks she had hundreds of messages in her in box. I did dating apps for 9 months and can count on two hands how many girls I matched with and had a conversation going.
Yet very hot attractive women on there, find no one, and keep resetting their profile. So all those messages and matches are junk. Online dating doesn't work for women either, it just doesn't work in different ways.
@@delawarehistory1675😂😂😂😂 doesn't work for women. What lala land are you living in?
Long story short for men in dating apps:
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!!!
You forgot that smack on the floor 👋
AMEN!!!
steven he's dad: you a failure! timmy has all the girls! all!
Online dating sucks, i'd rather do Cold approach over using those lop sided apps that favour women. With online dating, girls have thousands of guys messaging her trying to meet her in person and setup a date.
With cold approaching, you've already met her in person; essentially skipping the waiting line of all those guys texting/messaging her for days or even weeks, you've immediately accomplished and are ahead of all of them. She's already seen you physically, has gotten a sense of your personality to determine if she wants to go out with you, and more than likely wherever you approached her you have a common interest.
that''s exactly what guys don't understand, thank you!
@@CanucksxDream Guys don't understand it because the majority of guys are deemed unattractive by women, whether online or IRL. So you end up mostly getting rejected, whether online or IRL. But IRL hurts a lot more. There's also the idea that they're not actually that unattractive, but they lack game. Well, game is something that is only useful at the beginning and is meant to be used over and over. A guy wanting a relationship doesn't really see the point of developing game. I'd rather find a woman that doesn't judge me based on my superficial ability to get unknown women's attention because that's not gonna matter at all for the rest of the relationship. Plus, getting rejected over and over feels way too demeaning if you're really looking for something serious. You can treat it as a "numbers game" if you're disconnected from the whole thing. And on top of that, if you manage to get successful at cold approach, you won't really want to be in a relationship as now you have options and it seems a waste to have developed a skill and only use it once.
@@mrkiky you can show your true personality in person, and you cant really fake it whcih iz why game is better if you do it naturally
@@CanucksxDream Game is about showing your true personality. Yea right!
@@mrkiky I mean you could try and fake your personality in person, but the girl will be able to tell lmao.
I'm 6'5. During lockdown I tried dating apps and I was very unsuccessful. I am average in the looks department but I do have something. In real life when I walk into a room lots of people look at me and girls freely chat to me. Dating apps are not a good indicator of your worth in the dating field please do not beat yourself up over this.
The best advice for using dating apps is DONT use them.
Just put 6’5” in your profile and try not to look like/come off as a school shooter lmao. Although that may attract the wrong type of women
Just put 6'5 in your bio and they will flock. Height matters, online especially
@@Kameraspie What if you look like a Neanderthal?
Umm im 6'6" and have been told many times how handsome i am. If i walk into a room, no random stranger woman is going to just start chatting me up. Little lone look at me. Lol. When i walk through stores women look away from me like they have a mission.
I'm 44. I'm so glad I got to live my young dating life before social media, smart phones, and dating apps. I feel sorry for the young guys of today. It's so much harder for guys now. When you're out and about, every girl has her face in her smart phone. Girls are so much less approachable. And back in our day, if you were lonely, it sucked, but at least you didn't log onto your social media and see a million pictures of all the girls who rejected you partying and hooking up with other guys. When we talked to a girl in a bar, we had a better chance because she wasn't also chatting with 20 other guys on a dating app. I'm not saying things were super easy and perfect back in the day, but young guys: picture this world: 1) NO smart phones....when you were out, you could actually talk to a girl without feeling like you were interrupting something. 2) NO social media....if you got rejected, you just moved on. You didn't have to see the girl on Instagram posting selfies at the club. 3) and best of all....NO DATING APPS. In our society, men are expected to make the first move. For that reason, women have always had to put in less effort than men. But back in the day, at least they had to put in SOME effort. They had to at least get dressed and leave the house. When you talked to a girl in a bar, you were only competing against the other guys in that bar. Now, the girl can just wake up, roll over, grab her smart phone, and she's got dozens of messages on dating apps.
Cool story bro
Never been on a dating app in my life, I always felt like it was a route for people with low confidence. I just never had a problem meeting women when I was single. Just put yourself out there, and women will pick up your vibe. You don't have to walk around hitting on every woman you see, just be friendly. When you see the signs, express interest. Yes you can get a little nervous sometimes, that's one of the things that makes it so rewarding when it works out. No guts, no glory!
They are a route for people with limited social lives or who have work/hobbies etc. where women do not appear. However, if you use them to start with because you have low confidemce, mr. average will hace even less confidence by the time he has finished.
@@RS-xo7rd Not judging, well maybe I did a little bit, but if it makes you happy I support it. Just adding my 2 cents. Number one place you used to meet people was work. Obviously that could be frowned on nowadays but but do what you love doing. Mountain biking, coffee shops, wherever. That's where you meet real people, not at a bar or a nightclub. I know I'm probably stating the obvious.
Um...your entire post was judging. Maybe the "intent" was not to judge but you sure succeeded on messing that up. How about I reword it for you.
"Never been on a dating app in my life, I always felt like the women on it are out for free cash. I just never had a problem meeting women when I was single 10 years ago, which of course means I'm out of touch with today's reality because it changed so much! Completely different world. Just put yourself out there, 10 years ago, and women will pick up your vibe because that sure isn't happening these days. You shouldn't walk around hitting on every woman you see, just be friendly. Look at them like they are trash, and ignore them, and they'll wonder what the heck is going on. These days sadism works. When you see the signs, then nonchalantly express interest. Yes you can get a little nervous sometimes, scrap that one and move on to the next because you blew it, that's one of the things that makes it so rewarding when it works out. No guts, no glory! Nor any glory hole either!"
There. The current market with dating apps and social media. And for the record, I never had problems finding dates. Now, date someone at work is a death sentence, not "frowned upon." Frowned upon implies that you won't be utterly destroyed, if you are a man.
@@LordHolley LOL, I don't vibe well with most of the people who hang out at nightclubs.
I agree! I haven't been on dating apps much lately. I've been trying to get out more and fester up the courage to ask out girls in person.
It's been a slow process, but I definitely more of a sense of accomplishment for building my confidence than dating apps. 100%!
I’m gonna be honest, if you’re not naturally a very attractive dude you’re gonna struggle a lot on dating apps. Not saying you can’t implement some of these tactics to improve your profile and increase your chances, but you’re still going to have a hard time nonetheless. Most people on dating apps just look at the first photo and at your face for a brief five seconds when deciding whether to swipe right or not, so if you weren’t blessed with elite facial features, odds are you’re going to have a hard time no matter what.
same for unattractive women on them too tho. if people would aim more realistically...
honestly that helps get dates but usually the 1st date is the last date . i photograph well and have no problem writing to people, getting calls and dates but after 6 months of this crap i only had two second dates and a string of first dates and then rejections or ghosting
So true. I've had female friends tell me that even if they match with an attractive guy, they are always thinking in the back of there head, "He's cute, but there might be something better." I stick with meeting people in real life, and guess what? Surprise! It works! LOL. I believe having the balls to approach women in grocery stores, coffee shops, a yoga studio, etc separates you from 99% of men.
@@ebrowntaylor1 i have to stop with the dating apps. the entitlement and lack of basic etiquette is disgusting. i just dont have many single friends now so whenever i get a date its nice to be out and about but then i get bummed if i like the person and then i stop hearing from them
@@kellymulderino7156 i dont know how old you are, but dry spells in life arent uncommon - i had no dates during the 2 year pandemic... got back on the apps in January and met a great lady in the first 2 months. its all timing.
Thank you for the last tip about meeting women in person. Learning how to overcome the anxiety of doing this is, IMO, the #1 skill a man can learn to improve their life. After a long term relationship, I spent years on a dating app with no success. When I finally started speaking to random women in person, (and not just women, people) my entire life changed for the better
Well said!! I hopeLots of single guys heed your advice and ditch those dating apps completely.
Social confidence is not THE most important skill. It's just another piece to the puzzle in living your life to the best you can.
Honesly, my life changed when i ditched online dating stuff and went out to meet girls in person, the problem with dating apps are that all of them require some sort of gold/premium membership and 90% of girls dont have it, so they cannot even see your profile when you like them, ditch tinder and go out you'll be much more successful.
I had a feeling you would cover this at some point. Thank you! Validation, to me, is the number 1 reason why I no longer use any dating app! It's too much of a chore to try so hard to stand out, when no one on there have any intention of using it for what it was designed for.
If you ask me, I'm not looking for a pen pal, text buddy, or looking to waste my time on someone who may or may not exist.
Totally makes sense!
@@CourtneyRyan I'm better off just going out and taking my dog for a walk
@@tommygunn6901 haha I feel you
@@JackedStacked21 lol I've used every app from POF to Hinge and Bumble. Nope, never again!
@@tommygunn6901 brutal man
Correction! Women are so quick to judge based on looks, even if you ladies say otherwise. I love that you were honest in this video. As someone who isn't as photogenic in photos versus in person. Any picture angle didn't helped me whatsoever. I even had a lady friend help me out, with minimal results. As I was using these dating apps, I was going to meetups and meeting people. Guess what? I ended up running into women that rejected me on a lot of these apps. I ended up showing them who I was. They were surprised, I moved on from them after. They weren't attractive to me, when I saw their shallowness. And F it! Countering Ryan's opinion, you do have to be an 8 to a 10 to get matches. She's a woman, she has to defend her sisterhood. Remember this brothers, women are very superficially shallow and unrealistic with their preferences. I've done all of these actions, and rarely did I get any results. Because most women are very shallow , remember that. This is why! For me, in person is best. Go to different places. Meet people. But keep this in mind! These apps don't work for a lot of men, most, because of hypergamy and female nature.
So you put crappy pictures to an app that relies on first impression and then blame women for being shallow for not seing what a wonderful man you are behind the app? Maybe you just think too much of yourself, you sound bitter and insufferable
You are correct.
Are MEN also "so quick to judge based on looks"? I've heard that UNLESS I post a "full-body" photo (& I'm NOT fat!) no man will ever pick me online. My experience hs been that women have a much broader definition of men's looks than men do of women's.
Dating apps make it appear that there is unlimited choice. Stanford business school studied this with grocery store chains and types of jam. The more choice of type jam flavor means less ability of the customer to make a choice. In one sample of grocery store chains there were 4 types. The other sample placed 13 types of jam on the shelves. Who sold more units? The stores with only four types. The lesson: more choice means less ability to commit to a product. Same for dating apps. People think they have all this choice so there is an endless pool of people joining and never really committing to a serious relationship. Hence the hookups, ghosting, and frustration men and women have with online dating.
I recently went on two very good dates where the girl was super responsive and we even kissed in the end on both occasions. She told me she was looking for a relationship with traditional values and I mirrored that because it's what I am after... She said such a thing on her profile too. However, after the second date, she ghosted me completely. Worst part about it is that I loaned her a scarf of mine because it was cold on the day of the second date and she basically isn't even bothering to contact me about returning it. I tried reaching about specifically about it, but it's pointless. Inconsiderate, immature, and a thief. Needless to say, it's tough to stay motivated in these apps.
@Big Al Hey man I appreciate the input. I never did give her a second chance after she clearly ghosted me. I do admit that I should have never loaned her my scarf though, dumb move, oh well. I honestly don't care if she moves to her next opportunity, but don't steal basically. That's what I am focusing on here. I don't care about her. Haha.
Nobody who would be into a traditional relationship or values, would ever outrightly state that they are into that.
@@maj0rdave Giving her the scarf was 100% the gentlemanly way to go, and if she was a quality girl she would've appreciated it. There must've been some red flags that you missed during the 2 dates because it takes a pretty low quality human being to ghost people like that and unless she's a very good actress, she had to give off some of that low quality vibe but you somehow missed it.
@@GubyIQ There were a couple of red flags she shared with me, but since the mutual attraction (or so I thought) seemed to have been there at the time, I overlooked it. I mean, you're probably right, I had a gut feeling she was playing me and I should have listened to it. I'm already over it anyway. I appreciate the comment.
@@maj0rdave if i may ask- what made you think she was playing you before stealing your scarf? like constantly checking her phone, being late, rescheduling the dates?
I considered dating apps but I’m not simping for anyone just to make an “impression.” You wanna stand out? Live your life the way it makes sense for YOU and not someone else. It’s more meaningful in the long run when you’re completely free of obligation.
I did the PUA thing some years ago. I knew I had to overcome my dread of approaching women in public, and I did that to some extent. And I must say that I learned a hell of a lot from the experience, but also began to realize that I was just giving women free attention--and that 99% of the women out there only want attention. So I quit, stopped playing the game altogether and moved on to other things. I think that was the right move in my case. I'm not cut out to be a circus animal.
Well said not everyone needs to be a pua we just want one girl to like us back...
The thing with dating apps is that you're first judged based on your looks and how you present yourself on your profile. It's like copying and pasting someone's work resume because you don't know how to create a dating profile. Then that can make you come off not as being a genuine person. Just because a person has a good profile doesn't mean that person is going to be the right person when you start to date them. That person's profile can be totally misleading just for that person to get dates.
You had the first part right...in fact I remember one "Chad" laughing about sleeping with whoops a 14 year old girl. The joke was he thought she was 16...when the women swiped right many (not most) of them either laughed it off as accidents happen or whatnot. He got the same amount of swipes as anyone else.
The first is 90%, the second is 2%, the rest is how you appear outside of the profile, i.e., money, etc.
I’ll never forget when I used Tinder back in 2018 I had it for several months, got a match but surprise surprise she didn’t talk to me. My best friend’s friend he just got out of a long relationship and went on tinder for a week and managed to get 3 matches, talked with all 3 and got a date with one of them, all in that same week. After hearing that I was like “Screw this, it only works for certain people and I’m not one of them” and immediately deleted it.
for the guys- it's always the same guy because of course it is. and that same guy humblebrags by stating you just need to change your photos.
it's ladies choice online- but they only want the one guy
I am sure Courtney’s advice on how to improve your profiles is helpful.
I have never tried a dating app; and the more and more I hear, the more I think I never will. I’m glad that I have new hobbies that I want to pursue, a business I want to build, dreams of traveling. Hopefully, by working on own goals, I’ll meet the type of people I’d like to attract.
This is the way. It seems more likely to not work out if you’re dedicated too much trying to find dates. It seems too forced and unnatural like finding a job when unemployed.
@@charliedallachie3539, that line of reasoning is so true...
Courtney I really appreciate how you are very honest and straight to the point. There are thousands of channels on youtube that are disguise themselves as "Men's Lifestyle Help" channels, but really all they do are tell young impressionable men exactly what they want to hear just so they can push some product or BS course. You are one of the few channels that give honest advice without sugarcoating, yet still delivering it in a graceful and kind way. You're like the big sister every young man needs!
Completely agree with Courtney. Dating apps are just a waste of time (the area where you live also plays a role), it's very difficult to show your personality via text messages and I would add, meeting girls while sitting on the toilet is not really the most fun way to get to know each other.
You can't meet a girl at college or work anymore without taking a HUGE risk either
That’s why I don’t do these modern dating apps because old school is better
problem is if texting goes well and photos are ood the women build up the way they think you are and 90% of the time the 1st date is a disappointment and then you never hear from them again
The online dating thing is strange in a way. I'm 49 and I can remember picking up girls on dating apps and even in Yahoo chat rooms of all places but this was before social media. I believe social media is what blew up women's expectations because they get so much free attention online for doing nothing at all! I have a dating profile now and rarely do I even get a reply. However my ex met her current husband online so evidently some girls still use it and he is no Chad. This could be a rarity and maybe a few girls actually get on dating sites to actually find a date but the majority just want free attention. Even at age 49 approaching 40yr old women that you would think have less options rarely reply. The entire thing is a mess and I have basically considered dating dead online or not. It shouldn't be this difficult so obviously times have changed and not for the better.
Dudes hold your head up high. I’m 5’5 and I can say with confidence I get a lot of success on Hinge even with girls who know they’re taller along with girls talking to me in public. Literally average dude (not on the height scale 😂) and it’s not that bad. Also I’ve noticed since I’m 27 being more focused on my career it just makes it more chill and easy to interact with women instead of trying so hard. So just do your thing. Listen to Courtney!
Not sure if you've done Tinder or Bumble but I've done those two and Hinge and I found Hinge to be the best for me. As a 25 M, shit was hard on Tinder and honestly, I couldn't stand Bumble lol. Hinge has been cool because you can send messages with your likes and I've found pretty good success with them. Allows you to distinguish yourself a bit better in addition to having a good profile.
@@sneakers_guy5488 yeah dude I did the bumble and tinder thing. They don’t compare imo I’m with you.
All of those apps you have to get a match in order to be able to send a message. If you dont ever get a match like me then those apps are impossible and pointless. And im 6'6" and attractive. Pof is what i use but even that is still a joke.
@@WheresWaldo05 ya you’ve never been on hinge then. Cause you can send direct messages off their photos and questions and answers to those questions. And if they wanna match off of your message they will. Pof is sooo outdated.
@@shaydyluke Might have misremembered but i know their logo is black and white. And pretty sure you are capped on how many messages you can send. Most apps are. Either way that setup is a bad one. So is bumble with women messaging first. Cause that is literally the opposite of women want to do in life. Men need to make the first move. And pof might be outdated but its the only app in 10 yesrs of hardcore dating apps uses that i get any replies. All the other apps its 1 to pofs 100.
I'm 58 and I think I've tried most of the major dating apps/sites (paid and free) over the past 10 years since I got divorced. Courtney here can give all the advice she likes about messages, profiles, photos, etc, but looking at womens' profiles I can never find a shred of common interests, values, personality or lifestyle. Most women in their mid-to late 50s seem to be retired or semi-retired (how?), grandmothers, they all have 'wonderful families', loads of friends, go on holiday several times a year, have at least one dog, ALL drink wine, love to socialize, love the beach ... the list goes on. Is it any wonder I've given up?
How? How?? They got the cash and prizes in the divorce... thats how...
@@johnqpublic9074 , Exactly right
Now grant it, I met my wife online. We met on eharmony, then fizzled out. Both dated psychos and then met again on match. Realized we were pretty normal and been together ever since (8yrs, 6 yes married and 3 kids).
That being said, online dating was so much $$$ for so few connections (anything that made it past looking at pictures/profile and even fewer dates. The dates I did have, were mostly catfishes, women who wanted a free meal or other serious red flags.
You said in one sentence you met your wife on eharmony. Then the next sentence you say it fizzled out which means you are no longer together. But then the very next sentence you claim you are still together. Either stop with the lies or make some sense!!
@@WheresWaldo05 they met on eharmony, and it didn't work out the first time. they both dated psychos, and then they met again on match. does that make sense?
@@sheepnoisebah kids these days can't read unless you remove all the punctuation and capital letters lol
@@rodiusmaximus Saying "in one sentence", is a figure of speech. But your confusion is understandeable since you got C's or lower in English composition classes.
@@WheresWaldo05 My 'confusion' has nothing to do with your statement about 'one sentence'. It's the part where you can't read more than one sentence. The dude clearly said they met, broke up, dated other people, then met again. My C in English is clearly better than your F.
Worst decision iv made in a longtime was installing a dating app. Its bad for mental health, its true
Same for me, everyone endorsing tinder or bumble should be ashamed of themselves.
I have had plenty of success on dating apps. However, overall in my life, I’ve always been far more successful in person. I would give all men this advice:
1. Most women seek love, attention, & protection
2. Most men seek sex, adoration, and feminine nurturing.
3. If you want a traditional woman she’s likely not on the dating site, and if she is, you’re hoping somehow you’ll pop up on her feed and even more unlikely stand out from the thousands of others in her in box
4. Most women that are single and not serious are Liberal and woke (this is factual not an opinion). It absolutely makes sense that this group of women do not have traditional values, and are looking to score with the highest value male they can get to smash.
5. So Either 1. You will probably not score or 2. Those you score with will be much lower in dating value than you.
Red pilled men don’t want women because of today’s dating environment. This is unfortunate.
Best strategy. Wait and Work on yourself. Become high value. Live a great life. Then go look in the places high value women are more plentiful and let them chase you. You’re chances of finding, dating, and keeping a high value woman on traditional dating apps are extremely low.
Fucking nailed it. Almost every woman is Liberal only at least 4 are conservative but are old school of obviously seeking high value, and tall guy.
Im just going to give bumble a month thats it if i don't get anything to the shit hole and other dating apps belonged as I've despised even before using one.
what about the option of going MGTOW? Is it even worth it to chase women these days?
Meeting someone in person isn't "plenty of other options" unfortunately. As a 33 (turning 34 in 3 months) year old guy who's never had a girlfriend the in person route is extremely tough as well and has been limited to girls within a specific area or types of places based purely on the pot luck of what kind of family class you've been born into, as well as how you developed throughout your childhood, through teens and into your adult years, where what you do, and don't, experience is crucial to how you perceive life and opportunities of meeting a woman.
I was born with horrendous eyesight and nobody knew until I was like 4 years old why I was being "shy" or not as involved, this was because I literally couldn't see beyond a feet or so in front of me. So I wore glasses my entire childhood from age 5 or so. I was also one of the youngest in my year group so this made me feel like everyone at school had a head start on me, because of being older, then I did actually focus a lot on my schoolwork because I basically thought I'd never be good looking or ever need to focus on my appearance because dating apps didn't exist when I was at primary school or secondary school. Everyone who was in a previous generation found their partner through real life and neither person was particularly fantastic looking yet I saw that it was possible. Throughout college and uni I did start wearing contact lenses but my uni life I lived at home to avoid getting into lots of debt and still wasn't massively in tune with my appearance, which probably I only started becoming more aware of as I got into my mid 20s and still hadn't had a girlfriend and the internet and social media were both in full swing and dating apps were emerging.
I've had some attention in person, probably equivalent to the total amount of attention I've had from girls online and/or dating apps, so it's fairly balanced, but nothing ever develops. Girls on dating apps ghost, I don't have enough time to give them the attention they apparently need nor have the energy to come up with massively unique conversations and incredibly humorous stand out jokes and laughable stuff, because effectively that's still only a slight bit ahead of small talk. It doesn't really imply a great deal for what you've got going for yourself in terms of your career, how kind or generous you are as a person, and actually how interesting and exciting you can be and want to share tonnes of experiences with a girl.
I never really pursued dating. I am thankful I have plenty of oppurtunity, but i want to be at my best first before even thinking of dating. My mistake in college was letting people pressure me into asking out bad girls who had no future except finding a mate that can support their needs. Thanks to this channel, my path is more peaceful towards my career.
I'm 6' 0", great bone structure, great jawline, great smile, funny, athletic, smart, successful, charming, an excellent cook, full of anecdotes and can keep a conversation going with a wall. I've had one date since I started using dating apps back in college ~8 years ago. It's hopeless.
Guys ....unless you are Tom Brady or Tom Selleck . Your chances of finding a girl on dating apps is slim . Dating apps work for women as long as they are young and have youth on their side . As a woman gets older . It works against them because ...women rely on their beauty to attract.
Way too many guys get on dating apps without even thinking about what they want first. If you're looking for a woman who's going to support you in building the life of your dreams, good luck finding that by hopping on Tinder. Way too many men compromise and even give up on all their ambitious goals just to get into long-term relationships.
I think it's more normal to use online dating apps to meet someone now-a-days, but you have to know what you want or else you're just going to end up in an unhealthy situation.
This 💯 Standards and vetting is key
Absolutely!
Majority of men on the dating apps aren’t truly genuine themselves and lack ambition, purpose and vision.
Decent gentlemen like myself gave up on the apps because I have highest standards and boundaries one can ever have. I’m Christian and extremely ambitious, I have purpose and vision in my personal life and I would rather date a girl who is into her reading and writing than someone who posts 24/7 selfies of themselves because to me that comes across like an attention seeking and someone in need of validation.
The biggest problem I had with dating apps were the constant “bot” accounts that kept messaging me. But as far as real accounts go, this video has a lot of great tips and advice 👍
Agreed. So many sites have bots, and I've fallen for it several times, luckily without great financial damage. There are reviews covering many sites and well worth consulting.
Fake pictures, bots there's really no way to know if a person is telling the truth. To easy to lie about everything, kids, gender, stds, jobs, anything.
I had no idea so many Korean supermodels lived in the Midwest until I started using Tinder 😄
Dating apps are complete garbage. They reward shallowness, I had to hide my photos to even get women to converse with me. And then they blocked me after I showed my face. I had a small, but noticeable uptick in activity to my profile during the initial phase of the pandemic since I kept my job as an essential employee. In my experience, I have had more attention in real life, especially since I've been working out and training.Now, I even get checked out by women in front of their guys but I flat out ignore them since I'm not looking for trouble. I deleted all my dating profiles, since they didn't work all that well for me and have tried exploring speed dating events, but alas no luck there since they were cancelled due to COVID. I've not given up though.
Yeah.This give good advice but Hallee,Maria and Tressa aren’t swiping right on you 😂😂
😱😱😱😱😱 !!
I’m willing to bet less than one percent of guys use dating apps for validation. While upwards of 90 percent of women or more use them for validation
That’s a fact. Guys don’t care about attention. We aren’t wired that way
I used the anger and frustration from getting nowhere on dating apps, etc as fuel to actually drop my balls and start to approach women I find interesting in real life, to ask to them out, etc. sadly got rejected most of the time. ohh well, atleast it better then staring at some screen waiting for a match/message.
I think from a evolutionary biological perspective, woman have to be picky about what man they date because if they get pregnant, they will under- go a physical, physiological and emotional transformation for 9 months and possibly risk death during child birth..so I get it. It is what it is. I have found that when a woman looks at you repeatedly in public it a a possible sign that she is open and receptive to talking to you and possibly going further in dating depending how the conversation goes. So my advice, save your self frustration at approach women who look at you, smile at you, wave at you, etc.
Looksmax and follow optimized strategy by following John Anthony lifestyles
@@Eserr7856 From an evolutionary perspective women want to get pregnant...yet fewer and fewer are doing so....they are fine to throw off evolution when it is selfish, but they cry about evolution when it helps men.
@@CatGamer-wc2ij you sound bitter and angry against women, evolution doesn't care about your feelings and failings in mating. Adapt, evolve, restrategize, win or fail, it is what it is.
@@Eserr7856 Please tell me exactly where I sound bitter? This way I can address your points civilly. Name calling and blaming is equally as bad as body shaming or something non-sensical like that.
You pointed out evolution, and so did I. Were you justifying their actions? If so justify ALL men for our biological drives. Or are you attacking them since they can't "control" themselves due to biology, i.e., pathetic gender? I am simply confused about where you come from....you seem to want it all ways and that's not happening.
Okay, I've used dating websites in the past on five different occasions. Here's how the dates went:
The first time was a woman who as emotionally distraught because she was constantly fighting with her family, and spent the whole date using me as a sounding board where I was ready to scream out in anguish during the entire date. The next time was with a woman who was shabbily dressed and very scrawny looking (she was dressed very attractively and filled out nicely in her photos to hide this), and was just looking for a free meal because she was unemployed and had no money, and was totally broke (you could tell by the way she focused on her meal and devoured her food that she really wasn't into meeting somebody otherwise). The third time was with a woman who was very friendly, but in the end was just using the meet-up of the date to try and recruit me into a multi-level marketing company, which I of course declined. For the 4th time, I figure my luck had to start changing, and met a woman who initially appeared to be levelheaded, but as it turned out she was totally into Buddhism which was the only thing she talked about the entire date. The last date I met a woman who again appeared to be straight forward, but in the end was only looking for somebody to help raise her pre-teen daughter, which of course turned me off right away.
After that last one, I decided NO MORE DATING WEBSITES FOR ME! I'll just stick with trying to meet women IRL. At least this way you know more of what you're getting beforehand.
Here's how mine went
1. Raped me on a third date
2. Lied to be about selling coke
3. Called me a fucking idiot when I said I don't invite strangers to my home
4. Spoke about himself and was a police inspector. He asked me for all my exes first names
5. Was addicted to porn.
So yeah consider yourself lucky lol
They were all different people
Dating apps aren't quite for dating as they are hook ups. If you wanna date for long term, you gotta make good impressions with a physical approach. Too many 4s 5s and 6s have too many options while those options become orbiters. Not cool folks
It’s tough out there
@@CourtneyRyan yep, so it's good to be tough haha what many call outcome independent
I hear ya - Joseph! Great tips - by Courtney!
I can see how a lot of men might struggle to get what they want - when it comes to using Dating Apps…
If you’re just an average guy with not that much of experience with the online dating - it’s going to be hard to stand out.
Women just have too many options nowadays - it’s just the way it is, you’re just going to have to be patient until you start to understand what works, and what doesn’t!
It’s just like anything - there’s going to be plenty of setbacks on your way to master any particular skill - and being successful with Dating Apps is a skill that you have to develop!
If you keep working on it - it’ll just be a matter of time before you become great at it! Cheers!
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
Exactly.. Those 4s, 5,s ,6s... Match way more then the should... Over value them.. vs in person.
Let me turn the tables? Why should she date you? What are you 1- 10? Are you built like a tank? Do you have a 6 figure salary? How big is your social media following? If the answer is no to any of the above? Then you're a 7 at best. You got to have all 3 to be Chad. If the answer is no on 2 of the above you're a 5 or below. No on all 3?? Then forget it! Don't bother as no girl above a 1. Go read redpill, hit the gym, do overtime at work, get your MBA, etc. Once you get the $$ and a fit body it will make a big difference
Thank you for acknowledging that there's plenty of girls who toy with people's emotions just for attention. I had no idea so many people did that. Especially women. So now I'm all too familiar with being strung along and the manipulation tactics it entails. Thanks for not glossing over it. Now I know to not internalize being treated like that. But for most of my life I didn't know any better. I've gone from being too trusting to being hypervigilant of everyone.
Rule of thumb: if a woman’s profile has more than a third of drinking photos (bars, holding a drink, etc.)…
*…she’s only on the app to get dudes to buy drinks for her.*
They don’t even need the app for that. How often you see chicks in the club with their purse lol just an id under the phone case
I am 26 years old and still never had a girlfriend. I am tempted to make a profile on a dating app but the thing that is keeping me from doing that is the fact that I don't trust it.
Make one bro
Well, I do know women who have spent way to much on dating apps. But I think that the advice about the business model is spot on: They are designed to keep you on the app ("sticky"), just give you enough hope to waste your money, but not enough that they lose you as a customer because you get into a long term relationship. Exactly like gambling. Think about it - if a manufacturer built a car that never needed repair, they would quickly go out of business. A dating app where everyone met the love of their life on the first swipe would go out of business. I am not saying dating apps are bad, they are no better or worse than any other way of meeting someone. I do think a healthy degree of skepticism should be applied. As far as ways to meet people, try them all. I have to say though you are most likely to meet someone you have something in common with when you are doing things you like to do. So just get out and enjoy life.
Putting it more succinctly: dating apps have a strong financial incentive to keep you single.
I have a sneaking suspicion that a new guy signing up receives an 'algorithmic boost' as it were.
This is done to create a false sense of success and that it might continue into the future. Interestingly, if you then delete the app and leave for a month or two before signing back up, this boost seems to reoccur.
To you're point though, these apps are businesses like any other and are created with the intent of making a profit. Definitely a financial incentive to ensure people become hooked on the dopamine rush the app could give them.
I'm sorry Courtney, I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one.
You are an attractive woman and your bf is an attractive man. You two are literally what dating apps were designed for.
Also your perspective is from the attractive side, its like taking financial advice from a Hedge Fund manager, while the advice is helpful, its not going to help a poor man in Mozambique
Good video though
Is it possible to make yourself more attractive physically, like exercising and grooming to the best of your ability? If so, then maybe add in to that and do some research about finances. But don’t do it just to find chicks 🐣 (the baby chick is a joke), but to help radiate your energy to attract better people in your life.
@@mamc1986 Make yourself more attractive? You mean like the Tinder Swindler? There's a lot to unpack there.
You can make yourself more attractive by either being a catfish online or getting surgery to your face. If not those then nothing else is correct or helps. #facts
as a less than average looking woman i agree this advice is for pretty people
Hedge fund managers arent financial experts. They are stock "experts". Would you pay a hedge fund manager to help you tidy up your bills and finances in yor personal life? I wouldnt. I would get advise from a financial planner. Apples to oranges.
I’m glad she tells the truth about knowing when to walk away. I get looks and better interaction in person but zero on apps.
Yeah 2 matches on Hinge in a week plus since I have been on there. I’m a very attractive guy in his 30’s but apps don’t work but in real life I get way more looks
I’m a successful tech professional… I’d never use a dating app. That’s like publicly saying “I’m low value.”
Great 👍 😊
Girls from dating apps who show sincere interest in me, activity, ask questions, are curious ... well, the kind of girls that generally show a real desire to get to know me, unfortunately ALWAYS have children from a previous relationship, are already in their 30's, or are simply not very pretty (to put it mildly ), and most often ... all at once! Anyway, I always find them physically unattractive, even if they have a great personality. I have such a strange feeling that most of our next generations will be children from unplanned, accidental pregnancies raised by single mothers, because women show no interest in anything other than the typical "Chad" (even the appearance of a model won't help if it's not followed by "numbers" - I mean being famous on Instagram, TikTok or something like that is a must to get a physically attractive girl).
Exactly. It just shows how shallow women are - they have to be hurt strong enough in the first place to just start treating men with basic respect ("show sincere interest in me, activity, ask questions, are curious"). It's awful.
No surprise that the most desperate women are the most responsive.
Ya those are bottom of the barrel used up fishes 🤣
Somewhat right. Dated a chick who self sabotaged our thing and next thing you know she got knocked up by a black guy with 2 different baby mommas...guess who's a single mom now? 🤣
Dating apps should be used in addition to meeting someone in real life. That means, yes guys, that cute girl that you have practically been undressing with your eyes, you have to go have a conversation with. The beginning of the conversation doesn't have to be anything amazing. A simple "Hi my name is (insert your name) what's your name?" Should work. I don't always agree with Courtney, but, the realist thing I probably have heard her say is you've got to know when to walk away and dating apps aren't for everyone. So, using the app in addition to approaching someone in real life SIGNIFICANTLY increases your odds of finding someone.
What a great even handed look at the issue. Hitting the truth but with a taste of optimism and It’s great to hear this content from a woman.
Spoiler alert: The best advice is to get off the dating apps and meet people in real life. Oddly enough you can be in a small country town and literally have better odds.
Most women stand out using makeup and filters and they look terrible in real life and still have the cheek to be choosy of men who are natural.
A big issue with dating apps as a guy is that even if you get a date, the woman is still being messaged and liked by lots of other guys on the app. What’s to say she doesn’t go home that evening and then find a better option out of the hundreds of guys who are liking her profile. I am even guilty of this “paradox of choice” where I always think there might be someone more compatible or convenient for me to date, but women really have this issue x100 compared to most guys. That’s why it is so hard to create a genuine connection with someone from the apps. People are always thinking they can do better than the option in front of them.
So so true brother
She is 100% accurate on the pricing/profit model. When dating apps first came out they were a lot more easy going and both men and women generally enjoyed them more. They were also much much cheaper. But as more and more people joined and a single company started acquiring the apps, they adjusted their pricing model, and they now currently get their profits from men paying for the apps. Once the dating app company(s) learned how much men would pay for the apps, the adjusted their pricing model. As a man, when I first got on dating apps I was getting 30-40 good matches a day living in a good area, and I could go on good dates multiple times a week. Now, in 2023, I still can get matches without issue, but the amount of fake profiles, scam artists, and the generally ridiculous pricing model has turned me away.
Great advice as always. Reminds me of a Ted Talk about dating apps that actually work to steer you AWAY from your best matches! What?! Why?!! To keep you ON the app. If you met your perfect match, then you'd both delete your account and then they would lose 2 customers!
I've spoken to so many girls about a good profile and the range of answers is insane, "if your photos look too good we swipe left thinking it's fake", "if you've got a picture of you with a drink it's weird", "if you've got a picture of you holding your pet it doesn't look manly"
Let me translate to you guys from womanese:
>It''s difficult to stand out
You have to stand out and not have average looks. You have to be a supermodel otherwise you will be just like any other guy on this app.
>Using apps for validation
Us, women, are allowed to do this. Also we will gladly validate Chad and his good looks.
>Your profile stinks.
You don't have supermodel pictures on your profile. Eeeewww.
>Your messages are weak
In the meantime Chad can send me a message of "WYD? Wanna fook?" and I'll faint from happiness.
So so true
I’m 24 and I’m basically all set career wise and very well off. I devoted a lot of time to my career to get here and had to skip on a lot of social experiences. I’ve gotten lots of matches online but not with people I’m interested in. Normally single moms. Then when I started pursuing some of those options they’d be like omg you must be dating so many people. Made me feel like I was settling and putting myself up as a half price clearance sale. Started pursuing people I met in person and in person I seem to meet better women. Dating has just overall been confusing and really bad for my confidence and I’ll blame apps for that. Other than that I’m pretty confident with everything else in life
LMAO you're all set until you are laid off. Wake up bro.
I dropped 100$ for 6 months of Tinder and 20$ bumble. Overall, I wasted so much time and money. Even if I match someone they either never respond or they tell me to sub to their only fans to talk. Thanks for the vid
They don't respond to my messages either
Should’ve spent that money on weed
Just get rid of dating apps honestly, worst idea ever, because honestly dating is difficult because you got guys that are immature, disgusting, rude, don’t take things serious, and just bad, and then you got girls that are also immature, that also lead on dudes then to fall on them and make the guy look like a bad person, and there girls that don’t take anything serious also and just think everything is funny, and you got me a 16 year old Autistic 6ft tall dude that’s hardworking, works at Walmart, and also open minded, cool, mature, mannerable, and confident but nope almost every girl at school not all but most that I’ve met don’t take me seriously, or just think I’m a clown. same thing with friends, most friends I used to have treated me more like Someone they knew but not friends instead of treating me like a friend.
Guys just get off dating apps, most women are trying to get an ego boost.
Even if you get off them, it's changed dating period. If you approach a girl in real life, her ego and believed options have been so wildly inflated by dating apps that she'll likely not be interested in you.
I’ve always made neat & clean cut profiles! I quit the dating sites back In 2019!
I used to care and feel discouraged about it!
When I moved back to Detroit and started getting money it’s more of I don’t need anyone now! I’m my own person and no one can tell me any different
I appreciate the perspective. I think the app culture we have kind of stuck ourselves in brings a lot of troubles as well as boons. On one hand people who may never interact with each other can (sometimes on a worldwide perspective) which is pretty cool. On the other hand I feel like it brings along with two difficult aspects. One is a "meat market mentality" which is to say if you have a lot of options, generally you will pick the best one or even look and look and look for the best one. Maybe the best one isn't even showcased yet. That mindset will get a lot of men and/or women to not "settle" even if truly their choice may be a great one. The second aspect I think apps brings is that it gives a false sense of that you are out there. Similar to how some video games make you feel like you are socializing. In reality you are simply on a computer screen/phone and not really honing those skills which would allow you greater success in the dating sphere
Be patient. Be persistent. For better or worse, many women do judge the book by its cover when it comes to dating apps, so initial impressions are important. But the next steps, if she shows any interest, have to be made to cultivate her interest. There aren’t really any shortcuts. Live your best life, be healthy, happy, active, and keep learning to beef up your heart and mind, and you’ll have the best chance of that shining through. The good thing about this is you will be making your own life better while you patiently build your ‘brand’. Just be good to people, be true to yourself, keep making friends along the way, and when you least expect it, you’ll meet someone who is simpatico.
You should do a video of what dating apps and sites are like from a woman's point of view. Ask them questions such as, do they feel overwhelmed? How do they choose a guy amongst the hundreds or thousands of options? Do they ever have a fear of missing out when they choose a guy to go out with knowing they have hundreds or thousands of other guys in their queue?
I'm so frustrated with dating apps. They have pummeled my confidence into
oblivion. If I can't even get a reply, It's unlikely I will ever get a date, even MORE unlikely to get a date, WAY WAY more unlikely to get a second date, and EXTRAORDINARILY unlikely to find a long term partner. And with real life... it's pretty much the same. Never see any mutual interest tbh
Focus on building friendships with women and forget about dating. Probably with modern day dating everyone wants to jump into dating right away. The key to a good relationship is friendship. You'll likely be way more comfortable around the person.
@@caribbaviator7058 that’s true. Although I’m even frustrated with trying to make friends haha I suck at that too
As a 31yo man, that has totally removed himself from the dating market, the more I see what's happening, the more I think my decision was the correct one.
I've been on a lot of dates, but I have to admit that I'm really good at texting. The downside for me is that while I'm good at texting, I'm more of an introvert in real life. But now it has gotten a lot better. It used to be much worse
Unless you get the Premium version, there's a very small chance you'll even show up on a girls swipe session.
My guy friends were telling me about that! It’s crazy how different the experience is for men and women
@@CourtneyRyan I made a quick burner account on Tinder to test this. I even changed the specifics to my age and within the smallest distance possible and it still took a while to show up.
It seems like the only winning move is not to play. If the goal is to stand out in a game of superficiality, what is the benefit to anyone looking for love?
I saw this one article that used a dating app's API to gather metrics. It showed the top female profiles and top male profiles. Based on my memory, the top female profiles had at least 70 matches a day. The top male profiles had like 2 matches a day... This article is an old one and it's strange to imagine some of the most attractive men only getting 2 matches a day, but I think you can see there is a major gap.
The numbers aren't in your favor. Use online dating to supplement real life dating.
You summed it all up pretty well. Being single isn’t that bad these days for men either, I’ve saved so much more money working full time than I would have if I was married with kids. I do want those things someday but if it doesn’t happen it doesn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard though.
because men are swiping right like 40% of the time whereas women are swiping right like 5% of the time
Yeah that’s crazy. Does society ever stop to think about this ridiculous imbalance? Nope. It’s just too rare for a woman to make the move. If you’re a guy who doesn’t go out of his way to seek them out you’ll get zero attention and remain single/lonely. We need to reverse the roles a bit here. Make it closer to 50/50 instead of 99/1.
I saw an article like that once, and it examined the most successful people on a dating app (forgot which one). They actually showed two men and one woman, I don’t know their success rates or any metrics, but they claimed they were most successful, and they showed their profiles and talked a bit about them.
@@dave87gnBurden proof of fallacy Ad homeman attack
Im glad Courtney capped off this video not by saying make these changes and you WILL be successful. She acknowledges that dating apps are very superficial and if your not fairly good looking you may not be successful, but there are other options.
Shes 100% correct, all hope is not lost, meet someone in person. Part of attraction is someone wanting/persuing you, so when you do that in person it increases the attraction of women toward you because by approaching her you've shown:
1.) That at least have the confidence or courage to approach
2.) That you desire her which increases attraction
Then what are guys supposed to do to meet women outside of apps? As far as I know many women don't even want to be approached anymore.
I'm assuming dating girls is nearly impossible now for guys altogether (especially the average and below average guys).
Join a club. A social club like Toastmaster. Or a volunteer club. There are more girls in there and you have the opportunity to make friends, take it slow and read the room.
@@kalunkoup What on earth is toastmaster? And no, there isn't more girls there.
I mean I already go to the gym and there's plenty of girls there, unfortunately it's seen as a crime to approach girls there.
Lol I honestly wish I could willingly give up, but my dumb monkey brain won't allow me to do so
Asking some guys to be self aware is easier said than done. Probably the best advice you can offer, but the hardest for someone to apply to themselves. Self awareness hurts. I don't personally have a problem with it but so many guys do. And their fear of looking inward keeps them from moving forward.
Apps are largely meant to drain a dude's pocket. There are few actual benefits of using them. Use the same effort to approach someone in person.
Validation and ego boost is spot on- i think majority of women are on them for that, The disturbing things is women are still on the dating app even when they have a partner. They still want daily validation.
That hit hard.
Great tips! I can see how a lot of men might struggle to get what they want - when it comes to using Dating Apps…
If you’re just an average guy with not that much of experience with the online dating - it’s going to be hard to stand out.
Women just have too many options nowadays - it’s just the way it is, you’re just going to have to be patient until you start to understand what works, and what doesn’t!
It’s just like anything - there’s going to be plenty of setbacks on your way to master any particular skill - and being successful with Dating Apps is a skill that you have to develop!
If you keep working on it - it’ll just be a matter of time before you become great at it! Cheers!
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
There are women who are beautiful, but don't know that they're beautiful. There are also lot of women who used to be overweight or made fun of when they were younger that have self esteem issues. And then there are women who know they're beautiful but are tired of people seeing them just for their outer appearance, and are just waiting for someone to recognize/connect with them on their inner beauty. The IG/social media model/attention seeking women are instantly identifiable and not worth the trouble.
Congrats on your 303k subscribers. Well deserved.
Courtney, help us with this:
Most women's bios are something like:
"No I will not do this or that for you. Swipe left if you're sexist or conservative. I expect this this and this. Benefits of dating me are: none"
Yes I see all of this stuff literally every day. No wonder half the population is single
Depending on what anyone looks for, they will invest the time and effort into that goal. Someone in search of a relationship will most likely review a person's entire profile, not just a photo or their bio alone. Someone in search of a fling or dopamine hit are not mature and will haphazardly make selfish decisions that hurt (long-term) rather than help (short-term). You have to be yourself, know who you are, what you want, and who you want in your life. Dating is like pruning; if we do not remove the overgrowth, we cannot grow healthily.
Even if Courtney's viewers knew what her and Teddy's dating profiles were like, it still does not show who they are until they meet in person.
Dating apps never worked for me but I do really well in real life....it's weird. I have a girlfriend now but I still get attention from girls IRL....barely any matches on dating apps and no high value girls.
Ratios are out of wack
Women who are average or slightly cute are always feeling entitled to guys that are in the top 10. Guys in the top 10 are willing to sleep with them but not give them a serious relationship. Then the women feel like they are being wronged. In reality, it’s the women’s fault. Chads know their worth, and they know they deserve a girl in their level. Just because they we have fun with a 6 or a 7 when we ourselves are a 10, does not mean we have feelings for her. I highly recommend women to shop in their price range and stop friend zoning men that are on their level, if they don’t want to get their hearts broken.
This is great. I'm divorced and single and had an awful time with dating apps. I have a female friend who is going through a divorce and single. We were complaining to each other about the dating scene. I brought up the topic of how bad dating apps are for men and how women have all the choices. She was like "where are all my choices?" I said ,"create a profile and you'll have 20 guys hitting you up by the end of the week." Her response was, "oh I already made one and went on several dates."
...dude, i'm so facepalming so hard.
i must ask- what the actual hell?
I saw a study recently and it shows that 95% of women swipe on 5% of men, whereas men are willing to swipe on nearly 50% of women. What this means is that for the most part, only the top 5% of men see any success on dating apps. Women know they are going to get tons of messages and matches, so they know they can bat way above their average and meet up with basically anyone they want to swipe right on, thus they only swipe right on the best of the best. As a result, those top guys see plenty of action, and the bottom 95% may get one or two matches in a week or something like that. Trust me, if you’re a guy and you’re not in that top 5% (you’d know if you are) then get off dating apps. It’s not worth the effort you’d have to put in just to match with someone who is probably just average and likely will end up not responding to your message anyways. All the dating apps will do is ruin your mental psyche making you feel invisible and worthless.
If you want to see more success, constantly put yourself out there in public. The more you’re out in public the better chances you have of finding yourself in a situation where you might meet someone
And women have become wise to it, so there's really no surprising them.
Yep 😵💫
I realize after watching this video, dating apps are not for me.
5:15 The girl who said she wouldn't date anyone from a dating because they're on a dating app, despite being on there herself: what a child and narcissist. She managed to insult both men and women on the apps with her comment. Disgusting.
I think the issue is due to a variety of reasons.
1- More men to women ratio. The country I live in. Believe it or not, there’s roughly 100 men to 10 women on dating apps. Girls get likes instantly.
2- A new profile vs old. When I got on dating apps the first time, I was loaded with likes and conversions. About 3-4 matches a week, nothing major but something was working. After deleting & re-download and app multiple times over a span, now I’m at the point where I barely get one match in 10 days. Anxiety and stress. Yes.
3- On and average 50% of the women are just seeking validation, attention & someone to talk to. I believe the figure is higher. Figuring out the balance between Either taking it slow in messaging and possibly wasting your time or get flirty and get ghosted or unmatched.
I’ve met women through dating apps, but it’s a numbers game. If you are getting on for the first time or travelling around. Enjoy while it lasts.
Meeting women in real life is much more easier & in public go for women that are giving you choosing signals, you’re bound to have a better time or atleast improve your game, and like the comment someone posted. Most women assume us men get bombarded with likes and matches. Just keep it that way.
Given by the data provided by dating apps, can be assumed that less than 1% do end up in a successful relationship. To some maybe being non zero is good enough for them but would not let them have high hopes on them
Personally I use it because it's a relatively risk free way to at least attempt to find someone.
Cold approaching is generally dangerous because harassment is based more on a female's feelings than a man's intentions and I don't like the idea that any women could (I have to assume the worst so can and will are the same when it comes to risk assessment for me) give me a record because she's not interested.
Can't really go anywhere because I'm broke.
The workplace is by far the most dangerous place to approach women since your career is on the line.
Yes I realize that if you have experience it's not as bad but to get experience you will make mistakes and when dealing with women you cannot afford to make any mistakes.