1. Honest Self-Reflection 2. Look at your circle 3. Be the best you 4. Mindset and Reframing 5. Write down your goals Great Video! Keep up the good work🙏🏼
Nice summary - Joey! Great tips - by Courtney! The way you see the world - only you know! You could see it as a beautiful place where you want to live and raise your children… Or you could see it as a very scary place. It all depends on what you focus on. And the good news is - you can change that at any time. Because whatever you choose to focus on - the Universe has a way of lining it all up for you - and deliver - good or bad! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
I used to feel so down because I didn't have a girlfriend. I then began focusing on being content with myself before looking for a partner and got to a place where I was at peace and was actively growing in different aspects of my life. I then naturally started talking to a girl in my university class, became great friends and now we've been dating for almost a year. Obviously there is more to the story but let this be a lesson to many that you need to love yourself first and be the person you want to attract. It takes hard work, nothing is owed to you.
That's a great thing to hear mate Hopefully two of you will be able to continue to grow together and preserve at a couple ❣️ Keep pushing to be better everyday and I'm sure we'll get the best results 😌
I'm 35 now, wish I'd heard this when I was 25, but focused on looking forward. Breaking down insecurities takes a lot of work and I'm the type who needs to hear advice 100 times before it sinks in. But videos like this help me get to where I want to be
This is (imo) one of your best videos. Attractive people attract attractive people physically, mentally, and emotionally. Got out of a 4 year relationship and made some mistakes. But I later leveled up and just went out more. The more you go out, the more likely you are to meet new people, do certain things, experience new things, and create a good lifestyle. Well done! 🙏🏽
I agree with everything you said. One of the problems we have is the contradictory advice we give men. On the one hand, we tell them just to be themselves and the right one will come. On the other hand, to get what we want, we may have to change up alot of things about our mindset and routine that we otherwise wouldn't do if it weren't for women.
"we tell them just to be themselves and the right one will come." Real talk anyone who says this to you isn't your friend this is MALICIOUS advice. Cut these people out of your life.
"I'm not having success dating, I would like to make a change to increase my success" Hey, but wait... if you change your tactic that doesn't change your DNetics. Learning how to "game" the system is a violation of her agency to be the saxophone selector. Using techniques to raise your odds TAKES that agency away from her. No please don't do that JUST BE YOURSELF!
@@tylergrant4196 You have to action. It can't just be one or two things. You almost have to throw the kitchen sink at it, depending on your goals. You can't just sit around and wait for some woman to see how great of a guy you are.
The amount of self improvement I've made in the past 8 months since my 4 year relationship ended thanks to Courtney is astounding. We're a couple of years apart so it genuinely feels like I'm listening to advice from the older sister I never had. You should be really proud of what you're doing 👏
Sometimes people will judge you the way you see yourself. If you come off as a negative person and not confident, people might see you the same way you see yourself. If you come as a positive person and confident, people might see you the same way you see yourself..
This is so true! I've had some experience recently where people have become more attracted to me from what I have done and the positive things I've said. Do you feel like you have grown or had any experience with people being attracted to you?
For those unsure about what specific action to take, these helped me a ton: 1. Quit porn completely 2. 10 min meditation daily 3. Write down goals 4. Eat healthy 5-6 days a week 5. 3x full body workout per week (easy to stick to and very effective for natural lifters) 6. Get up earlier Being consistent with these actions over the last few years has made a massive difference to my quality of life
@@Alex_3fl Yea just froth them up with T, let them get desperate, then hunger will be the best spice and that 2 will look like a 7 huh? Why compete when you can blockade.
Courtney I love the passion you have to help people in the area of dating. Only one thing missing here is that you have to be "happy alone" first before you can be happy with someone be that friends, or dating partner.
This video is holding me by the lapels, shaking me, lightly slapping my face and going "are you self-aware?👏huh?👏look at you! look at your damn self. Look at it. NO! LOOK. AT. IT! SEE IT!" and I'm in tears yelling "I SEE IT😭" no? too melodramatic? well this is a wake up call for a lot of people I hope...
I may not listen to people much but listening to you every now and then definitely hasn't been a bad decision (this far at least 😂) Keep up all the great work ❣️
your voice and delivery are so therapeutic. especially w/combined hand mannerisms / body language. your ideas are genuinely healthy, unbiased, and come from a non-black-and-white and well grounded perspective.
I honestly really needed to hear this. Thank you, Courtney, for helping us realize the best versions of ourselves and for helping us to keep our goals in focus.
Every successful dating endeavor I’ve been on started with me shooting my shot and she went along. No games; she answered my texts, I was interested, she was interested, we met up, we pursued one another. It flows very easy when both people are interested. If you aren’t feeling the same love you’re giving out, stop giving it out.
This is soooo true!!! I attracted the girl of my dreams!!!!!! Unfortunately she’s married and has one kid but I can tell she likes me and loves working with me. We bring out the best out of each other and she brings me hope that maybe one day out there, there’s someone like her for me
Courtney R! This is one of your best advice videos yet. A real eye opener (for me anyways) I never thought about any of the things you said before. I have a lot of work to do…
I have been following these video for few months now and I gotta say lads, and ladettes... This gal has good points! I have gotten amazing experiences in my life in short ammount of time and things are looking so much better in the future. Nothing but respect to you Courtney, thank you for making us take our stupid heads out of our own asses and be better for OURSELF first, and then for other people
This video was really what I needed right now. It helped. I feel so beat up mentally and emotionally because I can't attract people that I really want and am only attracting people I don't even like in that way or the people that I've left behind and moved on from a long time ago and don't want back.
I am exactly what I want to attract (very fit, kind, fun loving, responsible, accountable, accomplished, and good with my money), but I rarely attract any of that, smh. And I have had my goals clear in my head for decades
Thanks Courtney you’ve helped me work on myself a lot , I used to be a really big people pleaser and a pushover now I can keep my foot down and put myself first . Keep up the content x
I truly understood this at age 40 last year. I am intimidated by the amount of time it will take me to be someone I would be attracted to. I hope people can be attracted to others for trying to go in the direction of being the person they want to be. Some of us got an extremely late start.
Good, logical advice. Thanks, Courtney. Another way of saying the same thing is that "attraction comes down to the energy someone gives off, fundamentally." That "energy" is both obvious and subtle, spoken and unspoken. Cheers, J
Everything you said was on point, perfectly logical. And yet, everyday, you see a couple that seem completely miss-matched. They are the exception, not the rule, but they aren't "rare" either. The woman you choose to engage should be your female counterpart. Like matching book ends. I always say she should look right in place next to you in a full length picture. If you are looking for a real LTR, the first, most important thing to learn is who to choose. It starts with looks, you need to be physically attracted to her, but it goes nowhere unless she is attracted to you also, usually. It quickly gets much deeper than that but these rules are not cut into stone. There are regular exceptions, these are general guidelines. You certainly up your odds by following the general guidelines BUT, there is a phenomena of "opposites attract". Seeking that "exception" is bad strategy, a likely fail, but someone wins the lottery everyday.
All very true. The other thing Courtney does not mention-- do you want a short-term, or a long-term relationship? She assumes that everyone is looking for a long-term relationship, yet that isn't always the case, depending on where someone is in their life.
@@marcmays48 Agree, but she hasn't reached that point of her life, and an LTR to someone 50+ isn't really in her target audience. What constitutes "long term" to me, a mature man now, is likely considerable less time than it was when I was Courney's age. Doubt you'd ever hear her promote "hookups" for any age though. She seems sincere and smart. Not a sexpert, not here for that. Even though I disagree with her on occasion, I've never felt like she is phony or putting on a show. Nothing more classy than honesty. She also put's some effort into her videos as a whole, not many "just phone one in's" that I've seen, if any. She is serious.
Thanks for the excellent coverage of this topic. I recently had a heavy day after losing a friend. That night I decided to step a little outside my comfort zones and went to a pop R&B/hiphop showcase at a familiar venue. Things went great and I had some terrific conversations with a new crowd of people. We connected on social media and I’ll probably get more involved in their community. Sometimes being your best self means trying new things!
Great video as usual. Listening to you is always calming to me and often motivational. It is good to know that the work we put in is productive even if the reward has not come yet. Also, its good to remember that the reward is not dating a wonderful woman (which is a goal but not something we can guarantee) but improving ourselves which is under our control. I am going to write down my goals so that I have something to look at over time and see if I am achieving them. Thanks for the tip.
Having thought about it,, I already am what I want to attract/am continuously working towards it, I have even gotten some pretty nice and even insane compliments from females, but I sort of despise approaching women at the moment because I've already done it a couple dozen times, yet never been successful doing it and it feels harder and harder to stay motivated to do it. Seems like the best way to meet women is to first be acquaintaces with them so you can actually get to know them before asking them out. The other thing about approaching random females is I'm not the most outgoing guy in the world, so it feels like a chore to approach them and not something I'm enthusiastic to do anymore.
I'll give you some advice. You haven't approached women a couple dozen times you've approached women hundreds if not thousands of times. Your mind set is off. Every interaction with a women is an approach not just the ones you want to mate with. Try this, Club - if your alone just go up to a 6-7 that has a friend , doesn't matter if it's a guy girl or girl girl doesn't matter . I assume you play video games because you use the Term IRL. Just ask them what video games they play out of the blue or excuse me can I ask you guys a question what video games do you play? If your as handsome as you say and dress nice and smell nice( highly recommend Prada colonge ) they should respond (even if they don't play video games talk to them for 1-2 minutes with excitement about your favorite game ) then be like nice to meet you guys then walk to another group do the same thing . There's your opener and you should have quite a few women talking and looking at you. ...
@@kevinturner5283 hey man really appreciate the advice dude...for me approaching is the hardest part I must say, it isn't talking, when I actually talk I am a pretty good conversationalist and can usually get a laugh out of people pretty naturally too, but it depends. Another issue I have is I overthink the shit out of everything and it's difficult for me to control. Luckily however I do like video games and I somewhat regularly go to the bar so I could definitely at least try out what you said.
I’ve been struggling with this for a while. I hit the gym and have been eating better, but for the rest of my week there are many nights where I’m just chilling at home after work playing video games or watching tv to unwind from a long work day. Therefore, I mainly attract couch potatoes or lower quality women who I ironically think are boring. There are tweaks that I know I need to make to attract more attractive women, but once you have a comfortable routine, it’s hard to break from it.
This advice assumes that the man is in any way attractive to begin with, or even is in the situations, ever, that would put him in a place where he could naturally meet someone. I quit drinking last year, and I honestly do not know where strangers naturally meet anymore. Don't say things like "the supermarket" or "the gym" because those places only work if you are already attractive. There's little hope for an average looking bald man, like myself, in not being instantly labeled as "creepy" by women in public. It's freaking devastatingly lonely. I work out, I'm not fat, but I'm bald. I have been working on becoming someone worth being attracted to, but it's incredibly difficult to stay positive when everything feels so hopeless. Even if I had a decent in person interaction with a woman, I feel like I would be so blindsided by it I would have no idea what to do. I gave up on online dating a long time ago.
@@rnt45t1 don't listen to these people, they give the same advice to everyone, we are individuals, with individual problems, mindset people don't take in consideration real people, they see everything as a one size fits all. I would say you been counseling from a professional, not a youtuber who consults via phone but an actual doctor or counselor, depression is a big causation of negative thinking. I'm a recovering Alcoholic and believe me, therapy from a professional really helps, it's not instant but it helps understand what has caused your current dilemma.
Hi Courtney, great stuff, especially about leveling up your life and being the best version of yourself. That's definitely one of the best pieces of advice that someone can give. With regard to "be what you want to attract" however, I do think it's important to call out that men and women aren't carbon copies of one another and that if a man focuses solely on himself fulfilling all the checkboxes that he wants in a woman that that actually *won't* be enough in most cases. For instance if I want a woman who is pretty, fit, respectful, faithful and kind (which are qualities that will pretty much make any guy happy) then me simply achieving those things won't make me attractive to the vast majority of women who want a man who is all those things plus exciting, successful, ambitious, romantic, funny, and so on. So I think a better way to put it as opposed to "be what you want to attract" would be "be attractive to what you want to attract." And I don't mean being attractive in ways that force you to transform yourself into something you don't want to be (like say you're a Christian who meets a hot girl who is into Buddhism, don't change your religion just move on, lol) but rather make sure that you're maximizing your own attractiveness with regard to qualities that you either already have or want to have that could then end up being on the girl of your dream's checklist even if you yourself don't require all those same things from her, which of course ties back to your great advice about being the best version of yourself. Just my two cents. Thanks for the positive but always honest videos.
This is the one!! I have always known that the ladies that I find super attractive do not desire dudes like me. I am really trying to take some of your advice but my gangsta ways die hard. I am constantly trying to be the best ME but I think that scares people even more hahha oh well. I am just trying to be a nicer person I am not even interested in dating, I just find that these suggestions are a great help
I perfectly agree with you on this Courtney. Sometimes people who aren't being what they attract still attract good things but overall yes I agree one should be what they attract. I perfectly 100% agree with that because most times then not when you're being what you want to attract often times it comes to you. This is why everyone should try to be the best versions of themselves. This is crucial for everyday living.
My best decision that I almost did not make was going to College for my Bachelors... it got me a job before I even graduated and I have grown so much as a person... and the women (both beautiful, smart and DRIVEN) are ABUNDANT there. Very good dating pool of HIGH VALUE women (when it comes to women Quality over Quantity for me ALWAYS). I still have to be VERY careful because it is the workplace and I respect all my coworkers. I also still have a lot of things to work on myself... mainly imposter syndrome. I don't give myself credit for my accomplishments (some incredible) and sometimes it is surreal that I am even doing the kind of work I do and being around such intelligent people. I am finally in a good place and feel that great things are coming in the future. Ironically had I decided to just chase women in clubs/bars and get bad grades/dropout I would not be where I am now. I focused on myself. I have worked hard on myself, appearance, how I dress, how good I smell, etc... that all attracts women. My attitude is significantly better and I am generally more at peace/content with what I have and where I am going in life.. happiness fluctuates but peace stays. One thing I would like to share, because I know many have experienced what I experienced... past trauma can last long into adulthood. For me at least, it has been extremely difficult to reinvent myself in my late 20s... especially when I had a horrible time growing up and having my self esteem SHATTERED and having to pick up the pieces. I would have constantly be on the defensive and fight for myself... having "friends" betray me... that all affected my mindset negatively and created a cloud of negativity that would REPEL people before I even would open my mouth. I also still have Trust issues from all the betrayal I experienced... I admit I am damaged but finally in a place of healing, almost like the damage that was done to me is slowly but surely going away and I know it will take time... it actually has taken nearly 10 years to get to where I am now. For anyone who has had struggles growing up/traumatic upbringing, DO NOT GIVE UP, get professional help if you need it, keep grinding, find your passions and if you think about giving up think about the people that did not believe in you and how good it would feel to PROVE THEM WRONG. That is what kept me going in my hardest times, not dreams of fast cars or hot girls... I wanted to prove all those doubters in my life wrong. My energy is so much better now, I enjoy the little things more often and I don't sweat the small stuff or cry over spilt milk. I find women to be much more into me... for some reason the married ones flirt harder with me though but I have integrity and I won't go down that path. Young single ladies only. I have passions outside of work... I am very unique/one of a kind (and all of you are too!) I am finding everything is more about VIBE and ENERGY than what I actually say, if my energy is off my words do not matter. Controlling my energy and giving out good vibes is always my goal. Going into details about my struggles is not really positive energy but I felt I needed to post it here, I hope it helps someone else. I am not the only one who has gone through these struggles. I want to be real about my situation and presenting myself AS I AM and not AS I AM NOT. Oh and CBD, Omega 3, Zinc and Vitamin D have helped me ALOT lol.... I am not a doctor tho.
I am so damn proud of you! We may not know each other at all, but I loved every single word of this comment and I felt so proud of you. You’re a good man 💖
I might add one more - be authentic. From experience I am convinced that faking it on any significant level - when it comes to saying 'no' to things you disagree with or can't get behind, your values, your goals for yourself and how your see the trajectory of your life - don't ever be afraid to express those. There is room for compromise and meeting in the middle, but you have to be able to express yourself authentically and there has to be room for that in your life whether you're relating to your family, friends, or significant other. Don't pretend to be someone you're not or to believe something you don't for the sake of keeping the peace. Respect one another's beliefs - or at least each other's right to hold those beliefs/values/opinions/positions - but don't give yourself up for the sake of avoiding conflict.
Thank you again for dressing modestly. I am from a conservative culture. We don't date until after high school and when we do it is courtship for a husband. My husband wanted a girl who cooked on fire every day, that was top of his list because he lives on a remote rural Alaska homestead and harvests his own timber for firewood. He wanted a girl who never had a boyfriend. He had a list of physical stuff, describing me exactly In his wallet. Two sides. One was "must haves". The other side was "dealbreakers". Lying was at the top. My list was no drinking, smoking, or gambling. Someone who could support a family. Don't laugh, I wanted a guy to take me to the carnival and who lived in a place like my grandma on a mountain with a lot of forest and no people. So this guy shows up on a motorcycle to my sari-sari store in the province, muddy, and buys a diet coke. He shows me pictures of his place, with his airplane parked in front, his boat, pictures from traveling all over the world shooting big game animals - bears, moose, alligators, anacondas, leopard, massive fish, etc. and then he asks me out. I tell him to talk to my father. He talks to him on the phone. I quit my job that day, got on the back of his motorcycle, and my father married us 3 months later. We have two boys just like him. Fierce MMA fighters. Brilliant. But real mountain men that hunt/fish and do crazy expeditions in the wilderness.
You are so right I have accepted that I myself am the issue but have also accepted that I probably won't change anything so I shouldn't expect anything different either or any girls to date me. So now my goal has shifted to finding happiness being single and how to overcome the depression of being lonely. This is really difficult though
Here. 2nd. 🥈 It's a good video, as far as general life advice goes. Everyone would be better off if they ate right, exercised more, had a positive mental attitude, and set and achieved goals. I agree with Courtney on these general points. However, from the standpoint of meeting and attracting women, this advice won't move the needle much, unfortunately. 😕 When I was in college, I was eating well, in the best shape of my life, had a great attitude, and was working towards important goals. Still experienced more rejection and disappointment in my dating life there, than any other time in my life. By way of contrast, even though I am relatively out of shape, don't eat as well, and have more of a "Meh," attitude, I still do much better with women now. Why? Women prioritize other qualities than what Courtney describes. Focus first on getting your finances handled. Then approaching more women. Then learning to escalate. And so on. These steps will actually change your results for the better, faster. On the other hand, the "Law of Attraction" (at least, as Rhonda Byrne has described it), is pure bunkum. You can't think of something, feel good about it, and have it magically appear in your life with no efforts required on your part. The reticular activation system *IS* a thing, if you know what you're looking for... but that's a different concept. 😁 Women will tend to seek out partners who are at their level, or more preferably above their level. Become that guy, and your results will improve, but focus on the most important things first, and add in the other things as you have time to do so.
Starting last year I started to make these types of changes\improvements. So this year I'm working a little harder on sprucing myself up to the best ME ever from spiritual, mental, physical, nutritional, financial & I believe focusing on these for the rest of the year, so nest year God willing I will have all the things I desire.....thank you for confirming my plan....as always Ms. Courtney great job and your hair looks really nice.....did you spend a lot of time on it?
I've always been confident in things like my job, my body, my personality but when it comes to dating I have zero confidence and im terrified. I know im good looking and i know there are many women out there but I've been rejected by pretty much every woman ive ever tried talking to. Only 1 relationship, lasted 4 years, i worked and paid the bills, she went to school full time, she eventually cheated and left me and moved on, that was 6 years ago and I've had no success since
@@kevinturner5283 i get rejected during the introduction phase. They usually show a little bit of interest which prompts me to talk to them, but very soon after that things go downhill in a hurry. I met my previous gf in high school and was the youngest person i know to get an apartment. But the bills were tough to juggle plus food and gas and she wanted more than i could offer her. It was the hardest thing to go through when she left and to this day 6 years later i still haven't fully recovered from that.
FIRST of all I want to say: Thank you, Courtney! 😁 I really appreciate what you do!😊 I’ve been watching many of your videos for months. They’re a significant part of this whole process of self-improvement to which I’ve been submitting myself. The world becomes a better place with the help of people like you, I hope you always know that 😉 Secondly (not less important), I believe you are the living proof of the type of women I have always believed it existed. You’ve given me hope to find and get to know someone like you one day. Thank you for that as well 💯
Being as one desires attracts synchronicities that match the frequency of embodied energy into this reality by using the gravitation of the imagination to calculate action and work backwards from a desired result to a starting place in time.
You're completely right miss the way you are explaining it for me is extraordinary keep it up cause for a guy just have confidence and be a 👍 version of yourself. Admire you Courtney👊
Idk about attraction on a "spiritual energy" level but I do know like attracts like. Like dancing? Go take a dancing class and show off your skills at the club. Want to learn cooking? Go take a cooking class and show off your chef skills. So it's being around the environment you thrive and surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals.
Out of almost 8 Billion people on this Earth, there's always someone for somebody. Accept & be true yo yourself! Timings everything! If it's meant to be then, it'll happen! You can never force anything....ever! So, having said that just remember...If it's not worth having, it's easy. However, if it's worth having, it wont be easy!
If it's easy to have, you probably won't value it. But that choice is up to you. What you're saying, encourages women to play silly games, to make men have to work more, to end up in a relationship. "I want more hoops to jump through, and more idiocy to deal with!" : said no one. Ever.
Great tips! The way you see the world - only you know! You could see it as a beautiful place where you want to live and raise your children… Or you could see it as a very scary place. It all depends on what you focus on. And the good news is - you can change that at any time. Because whatever you choose to focus on - the Universe has a way of lining it all up for you - and deliver - good or bad! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
Hey Courtney, great advice! I'm doing my best to be the best person I can be, but I have adrenal fatigue which severely limits the energy I have to do this. I'm striving to get better, though, so that someday I can be fully functional and attract the people I want in my life.
Every time I hear you talk about being yourself with your soft feminine voice I always think of the movie "just friends" when the mom starts singing be yourself 😂😭
I'd say first you have to know yourself and then be yourself Second is to have respect for yourself. Third is to be on your own grind or purpose. Myself I'm very easy going to a point but my personal needs are always met. I've been called a man set apart which I can see. Not an Alpha or a Beta just me. I've had a couple Alphas at work, you know the type, office politics, stealing credit, boss brown nosers, ladder climbers etc, try to 'F' with me and they did not come off too well. Word gets around after. A strong man doesn't want or need an equally strong woman just as feminine woman doesn't want or need a feminine man. So know what type of person you are looking for to share Some of life's better moments...and some of the bad shit should that happen...avoid anything like co-habitation unless long term serious vetting has taken place and then cross everything; your fingers, legs, eyeballs, the balls between your legs and hope for the best.
Let me speak on "being yourself," what it really means is really getting in touch with your essence and aligning your actions motives and behavior etc with said essence. With that brings confidence and many other things will fall into place in life because now you're being true to yourself.
I attract very feminine women but I lack the assertiveness and dominance. It’s an area I’ve been working on especially when society has told men to play nice and go 50/50.
That's encouraging though. Once you fully understand that women aren't attracted to "nice" and that relationships are rarely 50/50 and it's up to the man to lead, you will naturally grow in confidence. Reading books like No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover and understanding the "Captain and First Mate" model of relationships by Rian Stone will help you here.
"Be the change you wish to see." "You receive what you attract." This is where I wanna touch on addiction/bad habits of any sort. Men, consider if you'd want a partner who has really bad habits or addictions (alcohol, smoking, drugs, food, pornography). If you don't want a partner (short or long term) who doesn't have a handle on these things then you also cannot be a person who deals with these things. Up who YOU are and the better women come into your circle.
"You have to attract what you are, not what you want, you're not entitled to that"...so says the girl who believes men should pay for women on the first date simply out of masculinity and chivalry, even though the question remains what you did to deserve that in the first place besides being born with a set of double X chromosomes. I'm a believer in the golden rule: treat others the way you want to be treated. If I myself don't expect to be treated to free meals, why should you, even if you're a girl? The women I'm going for are from different country than me, but at least they follow this too. They pay for themselves which I respect and am glad they do so. And for what it's worth, there's a large community of them where I live, just not in the same province.
Been working on a positive mindset...and on my emotional intelligence.I have been working on my body,hygiene, and style as well. I've been meditating on gratitude and forgiveness. I let go of all of my toxic friends and family.i want to have a better body,mind,soul,...I want to attract my dream girl that has also been working on herself.ive been working on myself for the last 3 yrs ...and I notice women have been actually been approaching me now...:0
The toughest part of this are the interpersonal relationships. I have ADHD and making friends at 46, AFTER having learned that I have this disorder, only seven months ago, it’s something I don’t feel like doing: which may be the ADHD.
@@cdula26 It's obvious from this comment you don't know how ADHD works. You think it's a set of behaviors like most people do. LOL! Being alive 45 years doesn't mean I just acquired this disorder...it's genetic. It's not that I haven't had in person friends or anything but they don't like to do much either! LMAO.You may say you don't care to know--fine. Just don't say things based on what you don't know. We have a major problem with object permanence. "According to the American Psychological Association (APA), the definition of object permanence, or object constancy, is knowing that things or people continue to exist even when you are not directly looking at them." This is why we have problems with forgetting, distraction, organization, and more. - Russell Barkley Ph.D “The back and front parts of the brain involve two processes, knowledge and doing. ADHD splits them apart… I don’t care what you know, you won’t be able to do them… You’ve got a real problem on your hands.” “ADHD is a performance disorder. A disorder of intention, not attention. It’s an executive function disorder (EF)…. It’s time blindness. You won’t be able to aim your behavior toward the future to care for yourself as effectively as other people can…” “They know what to do. They just can’t do it. It ends up looking like a problem with motivation… The only way to deal with executive deficits is to re-engineer the environment around them to help them show what they know… All treatments must be out there, in their lives, where you have to build that scaffolding…” “Build that “ramp.” You must reinforce external reminders and consequences. Put them “in the now…” “EF deficits (Executive Function) are neuro-genetic in origin. Therefore, medications may be essential for most (but not all) cases. Meds are neuro-genetic therapies.” “ADHD is the diabetes of psychology. It’s a chronic disorder that must be managed every day to prevent the secondary harms it’s going to cause… ADHD is the most treatable disorder in psychiatry… The biggest problem is, most people don’t get treatment.” The medication helps me most of the time and I am working on myself. There is no blame as in "making an excuse". It's the way it is and all I can do is try.
@@DarkGloComics being someone who is diagnosed with ADHD myself, I read about 3 sentences of your post. My comment still stands, blaming adhd for anything is a crutch.
@@cdula26 you don’t have it. How do I know? Because having it and accepting it is to know that there is no “crutch”. That’s like telling someone in a wheel chair they are using their disability as a crutch. You can talk shit if you want…no need to lie to back it up.
I'm all about putting effort into making yourself better in anyway possible. None of this effort will be wasted regardless if you don't have a woman in your life. Don't let your happiness to be based on this. The chance of finding one that will add any value to your life is very low.
Very true on all accounts. I've put a lot of this into practice since my teens. I'm almost 40 now. Still never been in a serious relationship, but that's because I've always enjoyed working on myself. Currently I'm working on getting into better physical shape and being more open-minded about being with a "nice girl" rather than someone who's "exciting". I grew up in a chaotic environment, so it's taken a long time to remove myself from that mindset. Literally had to move across the North American continent (Alaska to Massachusetts)! Anyway, really good video with advice I can truly vouch for and abide by. Currently interested in someone who feels right and things are going smoothly, so we'll see what happens. Thanks!
I was hit with some hard truth recently. "You are what you attract." When it comes inner circle. I hang with a few old high school friends. Too this day I'm not sure how it happened cause we dont have a damm thing in common. I never touch a hard drug until I met them.
Even if you manage to attract someone who you are nothing like, they’ll eventually find out the real you and probably be turned off by your poor habits and life choices. So either way, they’ll probably end up chucking you the deuces ✌🏽. You may as well be genuinely the best version of yourself and live with the results
1. Honest Self-Reflection
2. Look at your circle
3. Be the best you
4. Mindset and Reframing
5. Write down your goals
Great Video! Keep up the good work🙏🏼
Nice summary - Joey! Great tips - by Courtney!
The way you see the world - only you know! You could see it as a beautiful place where you want to live and raise your children…
Or you could see it as a very scary place. It all depends on what you focus on. And the good news is - you can change that at any time.
Because whatever you choose to focus on - the Universe has a way of lining it all up for you - and deliver - good or bad!
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
I used to feel so down because I didn't have a girlfriend. I then began focusing on being content with myself before looking for a partner and got to a place where I was at peace and was actively growing in different aspects of my life. I then naturally started talking to a girl in my university class, became great friends and now we've been dating for almost a year. Obviously there is more to the story but let this be a lesson to many that you need to love yourself first and be the person you want to attract. It takes hard work, nothing is owed to you.
That's a great thing to hear mate
Hopefully two of you will be able to continue to grow together and preserve at a couple ❣️
Keep pushing to be better everyday and I'm sure we'll get the best results 😌
Your in college, wait until after graduation and see if its the same.
That’s great to hear. I’m going to SDSU and hoping for a smilies result.
Dude your in college that’s like a fucking layup
@@el_txserpico4501 that’s what I said this kid has no clue and probably rich as fuck
I'm 35 now, wish I'd heard this when I was 25, but focused on looking forward. Breaking down insecurities takes a lot of work and I'm the type who needs to hear advice 100 times before it sinks in. But videos like this help me get to where I want to be
This is (imo) one of your best videos. Attractive people attract attractive people physically, mentally, and emotionally. Got out of a 4 year relationship and made some mistakes. But I later leveled up and just went out more. The more you go out, the more likely you are to meet new people, do certain things, experience new things, and create a good lifestyle. Well done! 🙏🏽
What places do you recommend going out to meet new people?
@@sithcowboy6567 bars.....to for nd crazy girls
I disagree completely. If this were true, dysfunctional relationship wouldn't exist, let alone be a majority (Which they are).
I agree with everything you said. One of the problems we have is the contradictory advice we give men. On the one hand, we tell them just to be themselves and the right one will come. On the other hand, to get what we want, we may have to change up alot of things about our mindset and routine that we otherwise wouldn't do if it weren't for women.
Yeah great point. I've been struggling with this lately. If anyone has any advice or takes on this, that would be helpful.
"we tell them just to be themselves and the right one will come."
Real talk anyone who says this to you isn't your friend this is MALICIOUS advice. Cut these people out of your life.
"I'm not having success dating, I would like to make a change to increase my success"
Hey, but wait... if you change your tactic that doesn't change your DNetics. Learning how to "game" the system is a violation of her agency to be the saxophone selector. Using techniques to raise your odds TAKES that agency away from her. No please don't do that JUST BE YOURSELF!
@@Syncrotron9001 I mean, you see this type of advice given by women in real life and on the internet.
@@tylergrant4196 You have to action. It can't just be one or two things. You almost have to throw the kitchen sink at it, depending on your goals. You can't just sit around and wait for some woman to see how great of a guy you are.
The amount of self improvement I've made in the past 8 months since my 4 year relationship ended thanks to Courtney is astounding. We're a couple of years apart so it genuinely feels like I'm listening to advice from the older sister I never had. You should be really proud of what you're doing 👏
🥺 I’m so glad. Hugs!!
Sometimes people will judge you the way you see yourself. If you come off as a negative person and not confident, people might see you the same way you see yourself. If you come as a positive person and confident, people might see you the same way you see yourself..
I will occasionally act negative and lacking in confidence just to keep people with whom I don't want to associate away from me...
🤷🏻♂️
This is so true! I've had some experience recently where people have become more attracted to me from what I have done and the positive things I've said. Do you feel like you have grown or had any experience with people being attracted to you?
For those unsure about what specific action to take, these helped me a ton:
1. Quit porn completely
2. 10 min meditation daily
3. Write down goals
4. Eat healthy 5-6 days a week
5. 3x full body workout per week (easy to stick to and very effective for natural lifters)
6. Get up earlier
Being consistent with these actions over the last few years has made a massive difference to my quality of life
nofap is cringe
Quitting porn is crucial for most men Id say (not fapping necessarily)
@@Alex_3fl Yea just froth them up with T, let them get desperate, then hunger will be the best spice and that 2 will look like a 7 huh?
Why compete when you can blockade.
@@Syncrotron9001 porn is an addiction and actually messes with your mind. You can still masturbate though, which is actually healthy.
Porn is not a issue, blaming porn is victim mentality.
Courtney I love the passion you have to help people in the area of dating. Only one thing missing here is that you have to be "happy alone" first before you can be happy with someone be that friends, or dating partner.
This video is holding me by the lapels, shaking me, lightly slapping my face and going "are you self-aware?👏huh?👏look at you! look at your damn self. Look at it. NO! LOOK. AT. IT! SEE IT!"
and I'm in tears yelling "I SEE IT😭"
no?
too melodramatic?
well this is a wake up call for a lot of people I hope...
😂🙌🏼 love it
I may not listen to people much but listening to you every now and then definitely hasn't been a bad decision (this far at least 😂)
Keep up all the great work ❣️
It's good to be around positive people who support you and you do the same and support them.
your voice and delivery are so therapeutic. especially w/combined hand mannerisms / body language. your ideas are genuinely healthy, unbiased, and come from a non-black-and-white and well grounded perspective.
How you envision yourself is what you'll become. Write your goals down in "I will..." statements. Best self improvement process I did for myself.
I honestly really needed to hear this.
Thank you, Courtney, for helping us realize the best versions of ourselves and for helping us to keep our goals in focus.
Every successful dating endeavor I’ve been on started with me shooting my shot and she went along. No games; she answered my texts, I was interested, she was interested, we met up, we pursued one another. It flows very easy when both people are interested. If you aren’t feeling the same love you’re giving out, stop giving it out.
👍
This is soooo true!!! I attracted the girl of my dreams!!!!!! Unfortunately she’s married and has one kid but I can tell she likes me and loves working with me. We bring out the best out of each other and she brings me hope that maybe one day out there, there’s someone like her for me
Courtney R!
This is one of your best advice videos yet. A real eye opener (for me anyways) I never thought about any of the things you said before. I have a lot of work to do…
I have been following these video for few months now and I gotta say lads, and ladettes... This gal has good points! I have gotten amazing experiences in my life in short ammount of time and things are looking so much better in the future. Nothing but respect to you Courtney, thank you for making us take our stupid heads out of our own asses and be better for OURSELF first, and then for other people
You’re the best. Thank you, I’m so glad you’re here! ❤️
This video was really what I needed right now. It helped. I feel so beat up mentally and emotionally because I can't attract people that I really want and am only attracting people I don't even like in that way or the people that I've left behind and moved on from a long time ago and don't want back.
I am exactly what I want to attract (very fit, kind, fun loving, responsible, accountable, accomplished, and good with my money), but I rarely attract any of that, smh. And I have had my goals clear in my head for decades
Thanks Courtney you’ve helped me work on myself a lot , I used to be a really big people pleaser and a pushover now I can keep my foot down and put myself first . Keep up the content x
I truly understood this at age 40 last year. I am intimidated by the amount of time it will take me to be someone I would be attracted to. I hope people can be attracted to others for trying to go in the direction of being the person they want to be. Some of us got an extremely late start.
Good, logical advice. Thanks, Courtney. Another way of saying the same thing is that "attraction comes down to the energy someone gives off, fundamentally." That "energy" is both obvious and subtle, spoken and unspoken. Cheers, J
Everything you said was on point, perfectly logical. And yet, everyday, you see a couple that seem completely miss-matched. They are the exception, not the rule, but they aren't "rare" either.
The woman you choose to engage should be your female counterpart. Like matching book ends. I always say she should look right in place next to you in a full length picture. If you are looking for a real LTR, the first, most important thing to learn is who to choose. It starts with looks, you need to be physically attracted to her, but it goes nowhere unless she is attracted to you also, usually.
It quickly gets much deeper than that but these rules are not cut into stone. There are regular exceptions, these are general guidelines. You certainly up your odds by following the general guidelines BUT, there is a phenomena of "opposites attract". Seeking that "exception" is bad strategy, a likely fail, but someone wins the lottery everyday.
All very true. The other thing Courtney does not mention-- do you want a short-term, or a long-term relationship? She assumes that everyone is looking for a long-term relationship, yet that isn't always the case, depending on where someone is in their life.
@@marcmays48 Agree, but she hasn't reached that point of her life, and an LTR to someone 50+ isn't really in her target audience. What constitutes "long term" to me, a mature man now, is likely considerable less time than it was when I was Courney's age. Doubt you'd ever hear her promote "hookups" for any age though. She seems sincere and smart. Not a sexpert, not here for that.
Even though I disagree with her on occasion, I've never felt like she is phony or putting on a show. Nothing more classy than honesty. She also put's some effort into her videos as a whole, not many "just phone one in's" that I've seen, if any. She is serious.
Thanks for the excellent coverage of this topic. I recently had a heavy day after losing a friend. That night I decided to step a little outside my comfort zones and went to a pop R&B/hiphop showcase at a familiar venue. Things went great and I had some terrific conversations with a new crowd of people. We connected on social media and I’ll probably get more involved in their community. Sometimes being your best self means trying new things!
Great video as usual. Listening to you is always calming to me and often motivational. It is good to know that the work we put in is productive even if the reward has not come yet. Also, its good to remember that the reward is not dating a wonderful woman (which is a goal but not something we can guarantee) but improving ourselves which is under our control. I am going to write down my goals so that I have something to look at over time and see if I am achieving them. Thanks for the tip.
Having thought about it,, I already am what I want to attract/am continuously working towards it, I have even gotten some pretty nice and even insane compliments from females, but I sort of despise approaching women at the moment because I've already done it a couple dozen times, yet never been successful doing it and it feels harder and harder to stay motivated to do it. Seems like the best way to meet women is to first be acquaintaces with them so you can actually get to know them before asking them out. The other thing about approaching random females is I'm not the most outgoing guy in the world, so it feels like a chore to approach them and not something I'm enthusiastic to do anymore.
I'll give you some advice. You haven't approached women a couple dozen times you've approached women hundreds if not thousands of times. Your mind set is off. Every interaction with a women is an approach not just the ones you want to mate with.
Try this, Club - if your alone just go up to a 6-7 that has a friend , doesn't matter if it's a guy girl or girl girl doesn't matter . I assume you play video games because you use the Term IRL. Just ask them what video games they play out of the blue or excuse me can I ask you guys a question what video games do you play? If your as handsome as you say and dress nice and smell nice( highly recommend Prada colonge ) they should respond (even if they don't play video games talk to them for 1-2 minutes with excitement about your favorite game ) then be like nice to meet you guys then walk to another group do the same thing . There's your opener and you should have quite a few women talking and looking at you. ...
@@kevinturner5283 hey man really appreciate the advice dude...for me approaching is the hardest part I must say, it isn't talking, when I actually talk I am a pretty good conversationalist and can usually get a laugh out of people pretty naturally too, but it depends. Another issue I have is I overthink the shit out of everything and it's difficult for me to control. Luckily however I do like video games and I somewhat regularly go to the bar so I could definitely at least try out what you said.
I’ve been struggling with this for a while. I hit the gym and have been eating better, but for the rest of my week there are many nights where I’m just chilling at home after work playing video games or watching tv to unwind from a long work day. Therefore, I mainly attract couch potatoes or lower quality women who I ironically think are boring. There are tweaks that I know I need to make to attract more attractive women, but once you have a comfortable routine, it’s hard to break from it.
This advice assumes that the man is in any way attractive to begin with, or even is in the situations, ever, that would put him in a place where he could naturally meet someone. I quit drinking last year, and I honestly do not know where strangers naturally meet anymore. Don't say things like "the supermarket" or "the gym" because those places only work if you are already attractive.
There's little hope for an average looking bald man, like myself, in not being instantly labeled as "creepy" by women in public. It's freaking devastatingly lonely. I work out, I'm not fat, but I'm bald. I have been working on becoming someone worth being attracted to, but it's incredibly difficult to stay positive when everything feels so hopeless. Even if I had a decent in person interaction with a woman, I feel like I would be so blindsided by it I would have no idea what to do.
I gave up on online dating a long time ago.
How old are you man? I've seen avarage bald dudes over 40 hooking with younger women, and what i notice these guys dress pretty sharp
Your mindset is holding you back. PERIOD.
@@Krelian89 I'm 33.
@@mikecicero6177 How, exactly? I hear this all the time but I cannot see how.
@@rnt45t1 don't listen to these people, they give the same advice to everyone, we are individuals, with individual problems, mindset people don't take in consideration real people, they see everything as a one size fits all. I would say you been counseling from a professional, not a youtuber who consults via phone but an actual doctor or counselor, depression is a big causation of negative thinking. I'm a recovering Alcoholic and believe me, therapy from a professional really helps, it's not instant but it helps understand what has caused your current dilemma.
i love your videos, you have a very lovely personality!
i wish more people would be like you, then this world would be a much better place!
Hi Courtney, great stuff, especially about leveling up your life and being the best version of yourself. That's definitely one of the best pieces of advice that someone can give. With regard to "be what you want to attract" however, I do think it's important to call out that men and women aren't carbon copies of one another and that if a man focuses solely on himself fulfilling all the checkboxes that he wants in a woman that that actually *won't* be enough in most cases. For instance if I want a woman who is pretty, fit, respectful, faithful and kind (which are qualities that will pretty much make any guy happy) then me simply achieving those things won't make me attractive to the vast majority of women who want a man who is all those things plus exciting, successful, ambitious, romantic, funny, and so on. So I think a better way to put it as opposed to "be what you want to attract" would be "be attractive to what you want to attract." And I don't mean being attractive in ways that force you to transform yourself into something you don't want to be (like say you're a Christian who meets a hot girl who is into Buddhism, don't change your religion just move on, lol) but rather make sure that you're maximizing your own attractiveness with regard to qualities that you either already have or want to have that could then end up being on the girl of your dream's checklist even if you yourself don't require all those same things from her, which of course ties back to your great advice about being the best version of yourself. Just my two cents. Thanks for the positive but always honest videos.
Simply you are the best*
Wholesome genuine advice! Your strength is your authenticity.
“Well, ihprollywillbee!” 🤣 I loved that face you made.
Time stamp?
Hahaha 😂
This is the one!! I have always known that the ladies that I find super attractive do not desire dudes like me. I am really trying to take some of your advice but my gangsta ways die hard. I am constantly trying to be the best ME but I think that scares people even more hahha oh well. I am just trying to be a nicer person I am not even interested in dating, I just find that these suggestions are a great help
I perfectly agree with you on this Courtney. Sometimes people who aren't being what they attract still attract good things but overall yes I agree one should be what they attract. I perfectly 100% agree with that because most times then not when you're being what you want to attract often times it comes to you. This is why everyone should try to be the best versions of themselves. This is crucial for everyday living.
My best decision that I almost did not make was going to College for my Bachelors... it got me a job before I even graduated and I have grown so much as a person... and the women (both beautiful, smart and DRIVEN) are ABUNDANT there. Very good dating pool of HIGH VALUE women (when it comes to women Quality over Quantity for me ALWAYS). I still have to be VERY careful because it is the workplace and I respect all my coworkers. I also still have a lot of things to work on myself... mainly imposter syndrome. I don't give myself credit for my accomplishments (some incredible) and sometimes it is surreal that I am even doing the kind of work I do and being around such intelligent people. I am finally in a good place and feel that great things are coming in the future. Ironically had I decided to just chase women in clubs/bars and get bad grades/dropout I would not be where I am now. I focused on myself.
I have worked hard on myself, appearance, how I dress, how good I smell, etc... that all attracts women. My attitude is significantly better and I am generally more at peace/content with what I have and where I am going in life.. happiness fluctuates but peace stays.
One thing I would like to share, because I know many have experienced what I experienced... past trauma can last long into adulthood. For me at least, it has been extremely difficult to reinvent myself in my late 20s... especially when I had a horrible time growing up and having my self esteem SHATTERED and having to pick up the pieces. I would have constantly be on the defensive and fight for myself... having "friends" betray me... that all affected my mindset negatively and created a cloud of negativity that would REPEL people before I even would open my mouth. I also still have Trust issues from all the betrayal I experienced... I admit I am damaged but finally in a place of healing, almost like the damage that was done to me is slowly but surely going away and I know it will take time... it actually has taken nearly 10 years to get to where I am now. For anyone who has had struggles growing up/traumatic upbringing, DO NOT GIVE UP, get professional help if you need it, keep grinding, find your passions and if you think about giving up think about the people that did not believe in you and how good it would feel to PROVE THEM WRONG. That is what kept me going in my hardest times, not dreams of fast cars or hot girls... I wanted to prove all those doubters in my life wrong.
My energy is so much better now, I enjoy the little things more often and I don't sweat the small stuff or cry over spilt milk. I find women to be much more into me... for some reason the married ones flirt harder with me though but I have integrity and I won't go down that path. Young single ladies only. I have passions outside of work... I am very unique/one of a kind (and all of you are too!) I am finding everything is more about VIBE and ENERGY than what I actually say, if my energy is off my words do not matter. Controlling my energy and giving out good vibes is always my goal. Going into details about my struggles is not really positive energy but I felt I needed to post it here, I hope it helps someone else. I am not the only one who has gone through these struggles. I want to be real about my situation and presenting myself AS I AM and not AS I AM NOT. Oh and CBD, Omega 3, Zinc and Vitamin D have helped me ALOT lol.... I am not a doctor tho.
I am so damn proud of you!
We may not know each other at all, but I loved every single word of this comment and I felt so proud of you. You’re a good man 💖
i have learned self love is important from this channel. thanks a lot mam
Love this one, thanks for the reminders! ( A lot of hard honesty here )
I might add one more - be authentic.
From experience I am convinced that faking it on any significant level - when it comes to saying 'no' to things you disagree with or can't get behind, your values, your goals for yourself and how your see the trajectory of your life - don't ever be afraid to express those. There is room for compromise and meeting in the middle, but you have to be able to express yourself authentically and there has to be room for that in your life whether you're relating to your family, friends, or significant other. Don't pretend to be someone you're not or to believe something you don't for the sake of keeping the peace. Respect one another's beliefs - or at least each other's right to hold those beliefs/values/opinions/positions - but don't give yourself up for the sake of avoiding conflict.
Find the right person I agree Courtney Ryan you got to be positive not negative thumbs up
Thank you again for dressing modestly. I am from a conservative culture. We don't date until after high school and when we do it is courtship for a husband.
My husband wanted a girl who cooked on fire every day, that was top of his list because he lives on a remote rural Alaska homestead and harvests his own timber for firewood. He wanted a girl who never had a boyfriend. He had a list of physical stuff, describing me exactly In his wallet. Two sides. One was "must haves". The other side was "dealbreakers". Lying was at the top.
My list was no drinking, smoking, or gambling. Someone who could support a family. Don't laugh, I wanted a guy to take me to the carnival and who lived in a place like my grandma on a mountain with a lot of forest and no people. So this guy shows up on a motorcycle to my sari-sari store in the province, muddy, and buys a diet coke.
He shows me pictures of his place, with his airplane parked in front, his boat, pictures from traveling all over the world shooting big game animals - bears, moose, alligators, anacondas, leopard, massive fish, etc. and then he asks me out. I tell him to talk to my father. He talks to him on the phone. I quit my job that day, got on the back of his motorcycle, and my father married us 3 months later. We have two boys just like him. Fierce MMA fighters. Brilliant. But real mountain men that hunt/fish and do crazy expeditions in the wilderness.
weird
You are so right I have accepted that I myself am the issue but have also accepted that I probably won't change anything so I shouldn't expect anything different either or any girls to date me. So now my goal has shifted to finding happiness being single and how to overcome the depression of being lonely. This is really difficult though
One of the best videos ever ❤️ you're G.O.A.T Courtney ! Please keep posting awesome content like this !! Best wing girl 🙌
Here. 2nd. 🥈
It's a good video, as far as general life advice goes. Everyone would be better off if they ate right, exercised more, had a positive mental attitude, and set and achieved goals. I agree with Courtney on these general points.
However, from the standpoint of meeting and attracting women, this advice won't move the needle much, unfortunately. 😕
When I was in college, I was eating well, in the best shape of my life, had a great attitude, and was working towards important goals. Still experienced more rejection and disappointment in my dating life there, than any other time in my life.
By way of contrast, even though I am relatively out of shape, don't eat as well, and have more of a "Meh," attitude, I still do much better with women now. Why?
Women prioritize other qualities than what Courtney describes. Focus first on getting your finances handled. Then approaching more women. Then learning to escalate. And so on. These steps will actually change your results for the better, faster.
On the other hand, the "Law of Attraction" (at least, as Rhonda Byrne has described it), is pure bunkum. You can't think of something, feel good about it, and have it magically appear in your life with no efforts required on your part.
The reticular activation system *IS* a thing, if you know what you're looking for... but that's a different concept. 😁
Women will tend to seek out partners who are at their level, or more preferably above their level. Become that guy, and your results will improve, but focus on the most important things first, and add in the other things as you have time to do so.
Yay!
Great video Courtney! Keep up the good work, you truly care about men. 💯
You provide such excellent content! I'm so happy that I found you! Thank you for being awesome! Cheers! 💝
Starting last year I started to make these types of
changes\improvements. So this year I'm working a little harder on sprucing myself up to the best ME ever from spiritual, mental, physical, nutritional, financial & I believe focusing on these for the rest of the year, so nest year God willing I will have all the things I desire.....thank you for confirming my plan....as always
Ms. Courtney great job and your hair looks really nice.....did you spend a lot of time on it?
I've always been confident in things like my job, my body, my personality but when it comes to dating I have zero confidence and im terrified. I know im good looking and i know there are many women out there but I've been rejected by pretty much every woman ive ever tried talking to. Only 1 relationship, lasted 4 years, i worked and paid the bills, she went to school full time, she eventually cheated and left me and moved on, that was 6 years ago and I've had no success since
How often and when do you get rejected during the interaction ? When you linked with your 4 year Gf how did that happen?
@@kevinturner5283 i get rejected during the introduction phase. They usually show a little bit of interest which prompts me to talk to them, but very soon after that things go downhill in a hurry. I met my previous gf in high school and was the youngest person i know to get an apartment. But the bills were tough to juggle plus food and gas and she wanted more than i could offer her. It was the hardest thing to go through when she left and to this day 6 years later i still haven't fully recovered from that.
FIRST of all I want to say: Thank you, Courtney! 😁 I really appreciate what you do!😊 I’ve been watching many of your videos for months. They’re a significant part of this whole process of self-improvement to which I’ve been submitting myself. The world becomes a better place with the help of people like you, I hope you always know that 😉
Secondly (not less important), I believe you are the living proof of the type of women I have always believed it existed. You’ve given me hope to find and get to know someone like you one day. Thank you for that as well 💯
Being as one desires attracts synchronicities that match the frequency of embodied energy into this reality by using the gravitation of the imagination to calculate action and work backwards from a desired result to a starting place in time.
Courtney has got to be one of the most level-headed people on TH-cam
Muchas gracias , I was thinking of this minutes before you released this video. Amazing advice. 🙏 god bless.
although what you said is suppose to be common sense but to actually hears it, actually made a difference. Thank You so much for that
❤️🥰
One of you best👌. Thanks for this.
You're completely right miss the way you are explaining it for me is extraordinary keep it up cause for a guy just have confidence and be a 👍 version of yourself. Admire you Courtney👊
Idk about attraction on a "spiritual energy" level but I do know like attracts like. Like dancing? Go take a dancing class and show off your skills at the club. Want to learn cooking? Go take a cooking class and show off your chef skills. So it's being around the environment you thrive and surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals.
I am very naive and too trusting. Now that I know what needs to be improved, I can get my talent back. thanks!
Out of almost 8 Billion people on this Earth, there's always someone for somebody. Accept & be true yo yourself! Timings everything! If it's meant to be then, it'll happen! You can never force anything....ever! So, having said that just remember...If it's not worth having, it's easy. However, if it's worth having, it wont be easy!
If it's easy to have, you probably won't value it. But that choice is up to you. What you're saying, encourages women to play silly games, to make men have to work more, to end up in a relationship. "I want more hoops to jump through, and more idiocy to deal with!" : said no one. Ever.
I wish people would stop saying or believing ‘there’s always someone for somebody.’ The reality is that not everyone will find their life partner.
Not true. Women's sexual strategy is hypergamy. Historically, only a minority of men have reproduced.
Excellent video.
Many thanks to Courtney.
Love this video homegirl. You're really impressive, Teddy's a lucky guy.
Great tips! The way you see the world - only you know! You could see it as a beautiful place where you want to live and raise your children…
Or you could see it as a very scary place. It all depends on what you focus on. And the good news is - you can change that at any time.
Because whatever you choose to focus on - the Universe has a way of lining it all up for you - and deliver - good or bad!
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
Hey Courtney, great advice! I'm doing my best to be the best person I can be, but I have adrenal fatigue which severely limits the energy I have to do this. I'm striving to get better, though, so that someday I can be fully functional and attract the people I want in my life.
Every time I hear you talk about being yourself with your soft feminine voice I always think of the movie "just friends" when the mom starts singing be yourself 😂😭
This is fantastic content Courtney, thanks for being an inspiration on here and expressing yourself so well :)
So true! Gotta BE-DO-HAVE to get what you want.
Oh I really enjoyed this video Courtney, thank you.
I really like a girl who's somewhat similar to me: sweet, compassionate, honest, intelligent, unique and fit.
This Video helps me to start the life I wanted , Thanks Courtney, appreciate your time helping guys to become better version of them self 💯💪🏾☑️.
I'd say first you have to know yourself and then be yourself Second is to have respect for yourself. Third is to be on your own grind or purpose. Myself I'm very easy going to a point but my personal needs are always met. I've been called a man set apart which I can see. Not an Alpha or a Beta just me. I've had a couple Alphas at work, you know the type, office politics, stealing credit, boss brown nosers, ladder climbers etc, try to 'F' with me and they did not come off too well. Word gets around after. A strong man doesn't want or need an equally strong woman just as feminine woman doesn't want or need a feminine man. So know what type of person you are looking for to share Some of life's better moments...and some of the bad shit should that happen...avoid anything like co-habitation unless long term serious vetting has taken place and then cross everything; your fingers, legs, eyeballs, the balls between your legs and hope for the best.
'Your mind/set is the most powerful tool', Lao Tuz. From experience, it's worked, *every time*
Let me speak on "being yourself," what it really means is really getting in touch with your essence and aligning your actions motives and behavior etc with said essence. With that brings confidence and many other things will fall into place in life because now you're being true to yourself.
I attract very feminine women but I lack the assertiveness and dominance. It’s an area I’ve been working on especially when society has told men to play nice and go 50/50.
That's encouraging though. Once you fully understand that women aren't attracted to "nice" and that relationships are rarely 50/50 and it's up to the man to lead, you will naturally grow in confidence. Reading books like No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover and understanding the "Captain and First Mate" model of relationships by Rian Stone will help you here.
"Be the change you wish to see."
"You receive what you attract."
This is where I wanna touch on addiction/bad habits of any sort. Men, consider if you'd want a partner who has really bad habits or addictions (alcohol, smoking, drugs, food, pornography). If you don't want a partner (short or long term) who doesn't have a handle on these things then you also cannot be a person who deals with these things. Up who YOU are and the better women come into your circle.
"You have to attract what you are, not what you want, you're not entitled to that"...so says the girl who believes men should pay for women on the first date simply out of masculinity and chivalry, even though the question remains what you did to deserve that in the first place besides being born with a set of double X chromosomes. I'm a believer in the golden rule: treat others the way you want to be treated. If I myself don't expect to be treated to free meals, why should you, even if you're a girl? The women I'm going for are from different country than me, but at least they follow this too. They pay for themselves which I respect and am glad they do so. And for what it's worth, there's a large community of them where I live, just not in the same province.
When you gave that body analogy, it reminded me of Michael Scott when he “declared bankruptcy” 😂 you can’t just say it, you have to do it!
20% of success is hard work, 80% is great desire.
Not the 1st this time😂 but your hair is always perfect! Great video!
Thank you so much ❤️
Been working on a positive mindset...and on my emotional intelligence.I have been working on my body,hygiene, and style as well. I've been meditating on gratitude and forgiveness. I let go of all of my toxic friends and family.i want to have a better body,mind,soul,...I want to attract my dream girl that has also been working on herself.ive been working on myself for the last 3 yrs ...and I notice women have been actually been approaching me now...:0
Very good vid I think its one of your best alot of good info
Amen to this... great video... keep up the go0dwork Courtney!
Right on courtney
thankyou so much Courtney for this
The toughest part of this are the interpersonal relationships. I have ADHD and making friends at 46, AFTER having learned that I have this disorder, only seven months ago, it’s something I don’t feel like doing: which may be the ADHD.
Victim
Blaming ADHD, which you just found out you had 7 months ago, after being alive 45 years? Come on, you’re better than that.
@@cdula26 It's obvious from this comment you don't know how ADHD works. You think it's a set of behaviors like most people do. LOL! Being alive 45 years doesn't mean I just acquired this disorder...it's genetic. It's not that I haven't had in person friends or anything but they don't like to do much either! LMAO.You may say you don't care to know--fine. Just don't say things based on what you don't know.
We have a major problem with object permanence.
"According to the American Psychological Association (APA), the definition of object permanence, or object constancy, is knowing that things or people continue to exist even when you are not directly looking at them."
This is why we have problems with forgetting, distraction, organization, and more.
- Russell Barkley Ph.D
“The back and front parts of the brain involve two processes, knowledge and doing. ADHD splits them apart… I don’t care what you know, you won’t be able to do them… You’ve got a real problem on your hands.”
“ADHD is a performance disorder. A disorder of intention, not attention. It’s an executive function disorder (EF)…. It’s time blindness. You won’t be able to aim your behavior toward the future to care for yourself as effectively as other people can…”
“They know what to do. They just can’t do it. It ends up looking like a problem with motivation… The only way to deal with executive deficits is to re-engineer the environment around them to help them show what they know… All treatments must be out there, in their lives, where you have to build that scaffolding…”
“Build that “ramp.” You must reinforce external reminders and consequences. Put them “in the now…”
“EF deficits (Executive Function) are neuro-genetic in origin. Therefore, medications may be essential for most (but not all) cases. Meds are neuro-genetic therapies.”
“ADHD is the diabetes of psychology. It’s a chronic disorder that must be managed every day to prevent the secondary harms it’s going to cause… ADHD is the most treatable disorder in psychiatry… The biggest problem is, most people don’t get treatment.”
The medication helps me most of the time and I am working on myself. There is no blame as in "making an excuse". It's the way it is and all I can do is try.
@@DarkGloComics being someone who is diagnosed with ADHD myself, I read about 3 sentences of your post. My comment still stands, blaming adhd for anything is a crutch.
@@cdula26 you don’t have it. How do I know? Because having it and accepting it is to know that there is no “crutch”. That’s like telling someone in a wheel chair they are using their disability as a crutch. You can talk shit if you want…no need to lie to back it up.
“… learning to love yourself, is the greatest love of all…” - Grammy Award-Winning Artist, Whitney Houston
I'm all about putting effort into making yourself better in anyway possible. None of this effort will be wasted regardless if you don't have a woman in your life. Don't let your happiness to be based on this. The chance of finding one that will add any value to your life is very low.
Your a rockstar at this point. Good girl.👍
Very true on all accounts. I've put a lot of this into practice since my teens. I'm almost 40 now. Still never been in a serious relationship, but that's because I've always enjoyed working on myself. Currently I'm working on getting into better physical shape and being more open-minded about being with a "nice girl" rather than someone who's "exciting". I grew up in a chaotic environment, so it's taken a long time to remove myself from that mindset. Literally had to move across the North American continent (Alaska to Massachusetts)!
Anyway, really good video with advice I can truly vouch for and abide by. Currently interested in someone who feels right and things are going smoothly, so we'll see what happens.
Thanks!
100% Thank you, Courtney!
I was hit with some hard truth recently. "You are what you attract." When it comes inner circle. I hang with a few old high school friends. Too this day I'm not sure how it happened cause we dont have a damm thing in common. I never touch a hard drug until I met them.
One day everything will be well, that is our hope. Everything's fine today, that is our illusion.
What if what I want to get is Courtney's heart and love? But being serious, good advice.
What you throw out there, you will get that back in return just like throwing a boomerang!
Exactly! ❤️
I'm not really all that, but somehow I attract the greatest people. Now, I'm trying to catch up.
My check list is simple, give me my chance, wich never happen, so too bad.
Even if you manage to attract someone who you are nothing like, they’ll eventually find out the real you and probably be turned off by your poor habits and life choices. So either way, they’ll probably end up chucking you the deuces ✌🏽. You may as well be genuinely the best version of yourself and live with the results
Fantastic video and message!
I see it all the time people putting negative energy in the universe and being surprised when it returns their way.
Am in love with this video.many thanks 👏🤝
Videos like this make a difference