I'm a 28 yrs old mom. Because of a tumor I crossed the line from morphine to dope. 12 surgeries and the physical pain and psychological pain was too much and dope took it all away. I died for 40 mins.14 narcans and CPR brought me back and now I have brain damage. I'm 10 months cancer free and 9 months clean. it is possible but it's hard. My heart is with you David❤.❤❤
Being a self-aware addict is so difficult. It comes with tremendous guilt and a clear picture that you're fucking up your life. I can completely relate to his story.
As an addict myself, it's extremely difficult. Probably the hardest thing in life. I'm 28 so I know it is bad for me. Spiritually too. But my thing are pills and cigarettes. I rotate between opiates and amphetamines but benzos I have to take daily to not have seizures. Been doing shit since I was 17
@@ezekiel5687 the hardest is to recover from the past trauma, to reconnect, to love yourself , to know you can do and deserve better etc etc . for addicts. I am not one luckily, good luck from the bottom of my heart
Went to school with this dude. He was super nice and always hella chill. The town we grew up in took a lot of lives due to drugs. Hope he can get out of this hole he’s in.
The way he explained addiction is 100% accurate, every addiction starts with the inability to cope. Which if accompanied by trauma and genetic disposition is fire.
I watch the videos all the but this one hit home with for reason I use too smoke pop Sherman and it took me waking up in the hospital for me to hit bottom but by GOD'S Grace i haven't smoke that shit since 2010 I'm grateful for your story it made realize how far i have come I wish blessings upon you from your testimony I believe you too can overcome your downfalls I wish you nothing but the best on your journey you got this 🙏🙌
I have had friends like him. My best friend who is now a fentanyl addict is just the same. I don't know alot of other people who are that smart. He's super talented. All wasted to the drugs. If he turned the motivation he has to get high into anything else he'd be a huge success.
It’s really hard. Even if you consciously work through and move past whatever trauma, your brain’s systems that produce feelings of motivation, happiness, love, empathy, contentment, etc are completely hijacked. And especially with opioids, it never forgets that feeling and will play mind games with you to get you to justify using even after years of being clean. They mimic your natural endorphins (“endorphin” is a portmanteau of “endogenous” and “morphine”, a morphine like substance produced by the body naturally). Even after acute withdrawal is over, most addicts deal with the effects of PAWS for a year or more or several years sometimes. Even after PAWS, the pull is strong. I actually think the acute withdrawal is the easiest part even though it is one of the most painful things I’ve ever endured. The long path to rebalancing your brain’s neurotransmitter systems and staying away long term is much harder. Even after three years of being clean, I would still wake up some mornings and feel the ache in my bones. I would drive by a corner or hear or song that would make me instantly start thinking “that would be fun to do just one more time” even though I know nothing about it will be fun. Even if you overcome all that, it’s hard to get any job that isn’t terrible with years missing on your resume and a potential criminal record. It’s also very common to have no family or to have alienated them to the point that you have no help getting on your feet and you’re starting from $0. Even if you’re a genius, it’s hard to crawl out of a hole like that especially in our society. I have read that more intelligent people are more likely to fall prey to substance addiction, but that they are also more likely to overcome addiction. I really hope that’s the case for this guy in the video and for all the other addicts suffering out there. It is possible, but it takes hard work and you have to be willing to try and try and try again even if you keep failing until you don’t. A lot of addicts get clean and then fail and then spiral into guilt and shame and back into addiction. If anyone out there is on this path right now, just know that relapses happen. They are a part of recovery. I’m not saying you shouldn’t avoid them at all costs, but don’t let them destroy you. It’s not starting back over from square one just because you had a moment of weakness. The “days since last use/days sober” number doesn’t matter, it’s your mindset to keep going that matters. You are human and you will make mistakes and fail, but if you pick up the pieces and keep pushing, it will get easier and easier the longer you try (truly try) until one day you will know deep down inside that you’ve made it out and that you are past it. Might take years, might take decades. But it will be worth it. You are worth it. You are worthy of love, both from yourself and others. And you are not alone in this world or in this struggle. Don’t ever forget that.
You are filled with resilience and intelligence. Addiction doesnt judge its victims. The more you reach for a higher power, the more you tell on yourself and rally people who understand it, around you, the more power you will see. You can arrest this monster! I've seen the miracle of it! Keep pushing for what you have built within you my friend. Thank you for sharing!
It’s a hard freaking demon to beat down , although impossible . I think what hurts me the most about it is just how I will for ever be looked at differently from my family . The love I used to feel around them is not the same anymore and that is something that will for ever fuck with my mind . Need my soft white underbelly interview
@@isaiahamaro8232 I'm so sorry. You're worthy of love no matter what you go through or deal with. My brother was an addict and my mother and I did everything we could to still love him no matter what. At times it wasn't easy but it was necessary. He passed away ik 2019 from a car accident. I'm forever grateful for the love we have him. I'll be praying for your strength ✝️🙏
You still might eventually get that back! It can take years for someone to gain their families trust back. I don’t doubt that they love you, but there’s a lot of hurt that happens and family has to emotionally detach. It’s odd and a weird place to be in, bc I’ve been the addict who hurts, and I’ve also been the family member who’s been hurt by it too. Keep doing the right thing though and don’t ever give up, for real. 🙏
Smart guy, hard working, recognises his mistakes. I see no reason why he can't overcome these addictions. If you're reading this, keep at it. You'll get there.
None of those things matter when you put a substance in your body that literally changes your brain chemistry. A heroin addiction is nothing compared to a fentanyl addiction. Only the people with the strongest wills can ever hope to escape it without a medical intervention, but we live in a country that makes getting help for these things very difficult. It's why we are the only modern nation that has problems of this magnitude. These people pay with their lives for our "freedom" from socialized medicine.
@@pdizzle10484 I know. That's the tragedy unfortunately. I'm from the UK and some of the shit I see going on in the US is genuinely terrifying. It is ruining the lives of so many great people with so much potential...
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Fentanyl completely changes your brain so no matter how hard working or smart you are.
When the nhs will start substitution therapy and any kind of psychological and psychiatric support for free, no insurance or wait list crap, it’s far easier, all you need is the will, which many people on this channel give hints of
This guy is definitely a salesman. He is articulate and smart. Car sales is definitely somewhere he can flourish for sure.. I hope he gets it together and stops doing drugs. The gift of gab is either a blessing or a nightmare. He has it but it could go one way or the other. I hope he turns it into a positive, that will take him far. I wish David the best of luck.
My cousin just overdosed and died a couple days ago from fentanyl. David, I pray you find a way to heal from your trauma, and become able to get clean and sober in order to preserve your life, and your loved ones hearts.
@@heather1845 I’m deeply sorry for the loss of your brother. I have one younger brother that struggles with his on and off use and I couldn’t imagine the loss of a sibling, so my heart goes out to you, and thank you for the condolences. I think that’s part of the reason I watch these videos too. Life can be rough for people, and it’s important for other humans to see that there are typically, many reasons that lead hurt people to use and to get involved in the sorts of stuff many others do not understand.
@@HashslingingSLASHER92 such a sweet soul you are! That is exactly why I watch. Also to understand. We had a terrible childhood and he got it worse. He just wanted so art and go about his way the hurt of the verbal and physical abuse at the hands our bio mom. Was just too heavy. He wasn't his addiction. He was a smart, small, nutty, genius, street artist whom just couldn't handle the pain on his own. This has been different. It hurts. I pray your little brother feels how much you care. I'll get thinking of you from time to time and sure hope things are looking up for him/y'all . Big hugs
David, it's so sad to see you at this place in your life. You were always so nice to me in school. I hope you find the strength to stop and better your life. You're so smart and clearly capable. Just keep truckin!
David, you have a good heart. You’re better than the life you’re living. It’s never too late and I believe you are capable of making a life for yourself that you can be proud of. Don’t give up!
David you were always so intelligent and kind hearted to everyone around you. There’s no doubt in my mind that there is a bigger purpose for you in this life. Much love brother I’ll be thinking positive for you.
Damn. Give this brother the offer to Florida. He wants to change and thrive. Good luck and be strong have courage and be brave. You can rise above this.
If he's committed to change. The dope on the east coast is so fucked you get the same mystery soup of fent and analogous as the west but on the east almost every stamp bag has xylazine or some type of benzo in it to make it stronger. Xylazine withdrawal is so much worst than fent and you also get deep necrotic sores on your shins.
I love you baby brother. We are here for you. We believe in you. You can do this. I will always be here to support you with whatever I can help with. Your family and friends LOVE you so so so so much. Our whole family needs to heal and I have faith that we will. We need you here we need you alive. Please please please please reach out to us when you want to use. You can do this. You can do this I know it.
This guy is in the beginning stages of change. He knows he has a problem but he is having problems actually doing things to change it for the better. He’s very articulate and self aware which is good, most addicts are drowning in self denial and victimizing themselves which they feel vindicates their continued use. This guy at least believes in something greater than himself and is fully aware of how destructive and unmanageable his life is. I really hope that last part clicks in and he gets to a meeting and makes the right choice. Experience: an ex-fentanyl and Xanax addict with a couple years clean and an operations manager for a rehab facility.
I am an addict. I am free from what shackled me. I pray this dude finds his way. If he doesn't, he is a statistic. A throwaway as far as most of society and our Government is concerned. I see value in him. He has my prayers
I've been to five funerals this last year due to fentanyl. From Seattle to Philadelphia. It has devastated so many lives. This has become an epidemic in our Country. I wish this young man well in life. Hopefully, he gets help. All these people are looking for is love. ❤
Sorry patriot girl. I have lost friends too. In fact in 2017 my dumbass took half of a fake Percocet not knowing and got real sick. Luckily I was on pain meds too I think having a bit of tolerance helped. I don't use drugs other than some legal weed here and there. Don't even drink anymore. It's scary because it can happen to anyone not just a drug addict.
@@col.cottonhill6655 I use to be addicted to fake percs only cuz I would get really bad withdrawals without it and needed it to get better. I use to break lil pieces and snort it, my tolerance was so high I did 10+ pills a day. A person with no tolerance would have been dead if they did that much but luckily I’m on Suboxone and it helped me get off it. It helps with the withdrawals.
This one hurt my soul to watch. You’re so much better than that life of despair….I pray with all my heart you get clean and sober and live the life you deserve xoxo
Dude get back into radiology!! You're such a good looking guy! Get well and get settled and I bet you meet a gorgeous nurse that wants to settle down with you ^_^ Praying for you!
We take those small victories, David! I’m in that odd area as well where I’m going back and forth but can’t seem to quit it completely yet but we keep at it. Wishing nothing but the best for you ❤
Me too! Before I do it I try to REALLY think about how I’m going to feel afterward; disappointed. I am becoming more mindful instead of just reacting to the thought of getting high. Keep it up Ashley.
You can do it. I just got to 20 days clean, and I was on h for 10 years…. It’s been the hardest shit of my life. And I OD’d 24 days ago because it was fent not h, I’ve never OD’d once in my life. I wish you the best of luck.
You're awesome!!!! I'm so proud of you and tou can do it! Remember, anything worth having takes work! You are doing so well for yourself and we are all behind you!
Damn,,,,this is the most genuine person I have seen on here!!!!! God, please be with David. Grant him serenity and peace! Please Lord heal David... In Jesus name, Amen!
Wow, David, a man after my own heart, you were honest, you were sympathetic, you talked about God in a way that Ik made Him proud, and you gave me chills when Mark asked what’s your one wish and instead of responding with something selfish, you responded sincerely with the wish to take back the hurt you caused your family. You are on the right path young man and God hears you, ask and your desire will be granted. Much love
i love this guy. I was the only self aware user that wasnt blind to what was going on. He deserves help and im rooting for him. Good luck. It is possible. 3 months clean from 5 years of fentanyl use.
The most powerful thing he said was “I”. He blames no one for his decision. He knows that HE has to make the change. God can help, and you must rely upon him fully. You’re not alone.
I have to comment again...God bless that man for hearing the sincere desire to be free and honoring it with a chance to show it. That straight despair ..Ive sat with it so many times...Ive thankfully never had to know the streets, but I got close. I just get this feeling you are SO close to a shift. Opposition ALWAYS comes before huge positive things. My struggle is very similar but was with pain medication. It took time to get here, itll take time getting out, getting blessed by God along the way. You seem like such a good man..I think If I met you Id love being around you. Stand tall! You are definitely worth FAR more than you can see right now ♥️♥️♥️ I'm bawling my eyes out on this car ride this morning...If I could embrace you I would!
David, I hope you see this … I randomly watched your interview and then caught on that it was taped almost a year ago… I have been free from drugs and alcohol for over 13 years mostly through a 12 step program . What I hear from you and see on your face is a desperation to be set free from the chains of addiction.. the gift of desperation is waiting for you to unwrap it and walk away from the horrid life worse than death life of an addict. I heard your references to the Big Book of AA.. so clearly it did make an impact on you. I hope you have found your way, you are an incredible human being more than worthy of living happily, joyous and free in sobriety . I would love an update, until then I will keep you in my prayers. ❤
I grew up with this guy and the last time I saw him was at a mutual friends funeral from fentanyl overdose. He was sober last time I saw him I hate that he is at this point in his life. I hope you get better David
This man is so honest. My heart goes out to him. You’re so much better than your circumstances as a kid. I was the same. Always had to work and was beaten so badly by my father. Keep going back to school. I hate to say. But an education is the way out. You’re going to be amazing in the health care field. I’m in nursing. I’m shocked my Brain didn’t suffer all the decades I was a drink on Klonopin every day!
I feel deep empathy toward you. Your soul shines with light even through all your trials. I believe you will walk through that door of sobriety and never look back! Sending lots of love from Iceland. God bless you. Keep listening to the divine guidance and you will succeed and make your Mama so very proud. I’m rooting for you ❤
Keep going, David!! You can do this. The future is determined by small choices, oftentimes. I'd be happy to get an x-ray from you - please get back into school - you can have a much better life that you can be proud of ❤
WELL DONE TO HIS MOTHER FOR WORKING 3JOBS TO SUPPORT HER CHILDREN !!! SHE IS A HERO !!!!!! he does not look like a typical street junkie YET, but if he does not stop mistreating himself ,he soon will. I understand the poor conditions he was brought up in , and he can definitely reward himself with a glass of wine everyday , a can of red bull, a bar of chocolate , a joint here and there etc NO thank you , DAVID,, typically people cannot risk dying or losing all they build during their lives in order to experiment the high of drug use since we get good highs pretty often by achieving things , by making money , by traveling abroad , by feeling respectful members in society , by helping /becoming role models for children and so on and so forth .WE see drug addicts everywhere and they radiate pure misery in bad health ,so , we know what it is like and we stay the furthest away possible . WISH U ALL THE BEST BUDDY , greetings from Athens,Greece .
He’s a very intelligent, self aware guy. I wish him the best . David I have a feeling that you already know this, but it’s all up to you, and you alone, to fix your life. You are the solution to your problems. The world needs people like you who are healthy and capable- which you can become for certain
Your awareness and intelligence about your disease is truly remarkable! Many people are so gone and don’t have that luck. I think you want it bad enough, and I believe you can help so many people! Especially youth! I think you’ll find if you can start helping other people, you’re also help yourself! I wish you the best of luck!
It's crazy how fast time flies, they say it for a reason. The age of some of these addicts really hit's home for me. I'm 35 but can probably look in my lower to mid 20's, even after a decade of opiates/cigarettes. I'm always thankful I don't look as old as I am and I don't wear years of using on my face like it happens with some.
This guy spoke so much truth at the end of this interview. I was speaking to someone about my recovery yesterday. He didn't understand why I couldn't stop when my addiction got out of hand. I've learned to say: 'with all due respect, you don't get it because you've never experienced it.' People usually have good intentions but should never pretend to know what's best for someone going through addiction. It's not helpful to assume based on a lack of personal experience you know how to fix addiction. Unless, of course, you're an exceptionally empathetic individual with the correct training.
And rehab! Give him that Florida rehab, Mark. He knows what his issues are and he’s READY, he just needs the tools deal with his trauma and to stay sober.
I like this guy i so wish him the best such a nice guy He is still young great personality nice looking Please get the help you need David so can have such a great life My heart breaks for this man. Thank you Mark for all you do
I just lost my brother to a fatal fentanyl overdose, after many previous overdoses. Fentanyl kills. Please don't let the devil get you too. There is still hope.
Dear sweet David, my little brother in NA.. please please keep coming back, better yet stay, it works, I've seen it work for so many and you can do it too, you're worth it, you're loved and everything can be forgiven, please you have so much potential to be free.. use the program, connect, go to meetings, pick up the phone or the literature or pray whatever the next right thing is, you never have to pick up again, your life can be beyond your wildest dreams, 1 minute at a time ❤❤❤
This man is about to experience a shift for the better. God grant David a new steay job and a true friend or two. Prayers for you, David. I related to a lot of what you said. You are forgiven
David you have insight. Something most addicts don't have. Please keep believing and I wish you all the luck in the world. You are worth it. Keep on grinding on. You can beat this. Continue with being a radiographer. You will regret it if you don't since you are still young @ 30. Much love to you my friend. X
Also radiology technicians are BADLY needed now. If he can get into rehab and sober living, and back into school while working, he’s on track for a solid well-paying career. Get out of LA and get away from the triggers and keep going to meetings Surround himself with a recovery community. He’s right there, he wants this and he’s capable and knows what he needs - he just needs the tools and coping skills from rehab/therapy to resist and to be surrounded with a supportive community instead of other addicts and dealers on Skid Row. Walk through that door, David. You can do it!
Keep walking thru the fire. Your faith is your balance in the hard times. I've been struggling with addiction and depression. I'm in therapy and taking Care of myself day by day. Active in basketball 🏀 and keep busy in my sketch books.
I feel you're pain, so meany people are in you're situation, want to get better but its too hard and life has gone too far. I know what you mean about a purpose that keeps you going, i wasn't religious and don't believe in much but I know there's something out there that keeps us alive, because being alive is the biggest miracle off all. I've used drugs for years... 5 weeks ago I quit my job because it was getting to much, I had a great up bringing and great everything but as soon as you adapt the lifestyle, its with you forever .. I don't even know were im going with this but I feel just like you and it scares me. There is some purpose to all of this and that is so true 👍 you're a beautiful human and It will work for you 💛
Omgosh, so sad what children endure. I was a single mom (more like abandoned as my husband left) and had to work up to 3 jobs for years. Dads, please at least take care of your children if you decide to leave your wives or the mother of your children. These kids need fathers!
David,much love to you,and even more good energy headed your way. Thank you for being brave and sharing your story. Head up brother,and keep fighting.❤
Good Morning Internet People!👋😃or whatever time of day it is in your part of the world. Peace and Love and all that Jazz from 6:10am Brooklyn NY🇺🇸 to you and wherever in the world🌍 you are, my SWU fam.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are worthwhile ❤ I see strength breaking through layers of darkness. Your stark honesty shines through. I am praying for you 🙏🏼 You are loved.
I wake up and ask for guidance, strength and direction! I will start doing the same, because I need to. Not an addict, just personal stuff. Thanks David for the reminder.
These stories,. The origins are the same. How our lifestyles were as kids effects us so much. This is why I invest in my kids so heavily. Time education love laughter play stability prayer health. We must provide these to give our kids a chance to be a whole person. Praying for this man
David eres sumamente inteligente y bueno...esa es tu oportunidad de vida...don't let the present momentum fade. Thousands of us this side of the screen are sending you strength....even all the way from Peru 😉
I think I finally understood, listening to David, why i've been compulsively watching these interviews: they are like cautionary tales to me. I live in a (still) rich part of europe and i believe us westerners are led by our so called elites to our doom. In the back of my mind i think that listening to all these people might help me avoid some of the pitfalls that come with a harder life than the one i've been living up until now... i'm hoping that when the proverbial shit will hits the proverbial fan, the memory of these peoples' experiences might help me and mine surviving a rough life in the decades to come... Thank you Mark for this salutary work you are doing, thanks to David, Rebecca and all the others for telling their life stories. Love, N.
U can hear when Marks brain turns on to the interview. When he believes what the person is saying. When he starts to believe in someone. It really doesn’t happen often. But when it does his voice changes.
David, you have the smarts to overcome this addiction. Your goals are at your reach. The faith you have will help you on this journey. I hope you succeed and enjoy this precious life we all have. May God Bless You. In the name of Jesus. ❤❤❤
I have been on Percocet and Vicodin for accidents and injuries and I understand the withdrawals. However, it never seemed like a big deal because I was taking fairly low doses every day. So, stopping has never been a big deal. I read that most people who get narcotics in the hospital or for injuries usually stop fairly easily. The addicts who can’t stop are in a very complicated situation that isn’t just about withdrawals. Read “Chasing the Scream”. If you really want to understand addiction. It’s much more complicated than just stop for those who are addicts. I have my brother battle meth addiction for 30 years. He is slowly losing the battle and it’s a miracle he is 55 years old. His health is starting to seriously decline now. So, I doubt he will make it into his 60’s.
The poignant interview with fentanyl addict David sheds light on the gripping reality of addiction and the struggles faced by those trying to break free from its grasp. This kind of people should be featured on OTR!
Recovery is a journey and you have the right mindset to make it happen. Keep seeking access to mental health because it's a tool for keeping up your sobriety. If you ever decide to go back, I'm sure the Catholic Church will welcome you back with open arms. Peace be with you!
The best way to get a job in your situation is to literally go door to door for as long as it takes. Hit up the restaurant areas. Show up in person, looking good and ready to go. He speaks and presents himself well. Go out there and you’ll find work in ONE DAY. Guaranteed
You got this David, you deserve a great life. You just gotta believe it ❤
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David, I wish you all the best, hope you gets better and live the life you dream of. We can see in your eyes that you are way better than your current situation, and you have the strength to achieve your goals. I am from Brazil and I am sending you all the prayers and good thougths.
David, im a David too. Nice to meet you. Hearing you talk about alcohol made me wonder.... Can't you just drink hard instead of smoking fenty? I'm British so we are way more liberal on the drinking front but faced with the demon of opiates I know what id prefer. Sending love and positive vibes for your recovery. Its ok to switch a very dangerous drug for a safe one!
![[Live] : ONE 169 วันนี้!! "อนาโตลี vs อูมาร์"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/IK3YZVWuFJg/mqdefault.jpg)
I'm a 28 yrs old mom. Because of a tumor I crossed the line from morphine to dope. 12 surgeries and the physical pain and psychological pain was too much and dope took it all away. I died for 40 mins.14 narcans and CPR brought me back and now I have brain damage. I'm 10 months cancer free and 9 months clean. it is possible but it's hard. My heart is with you David❤.❤❤
Dang you been through a lot 🙏
@@Hazy216 thanks
@@RufusP.Jackson thanks sweetheart,❤️❤️
@devaakdemir4942 Im Glad you're stills there!
@@Hazy216 11 months clean 12 months cancer free
Being a self-aware addict is so difficult. It comes with tremendous guilt and a clear picture that you're fucking up your life. I can completely relate to his story.
Me too. ALOT of people are lost. I don't wanna blame all my problems but the system is fucked. The system is designed to make addicts
As an addict myself, it's extremely difficult. Probably the hardest thing in life. I'm 28 so I know it is bad for me. Spiritually too. But my thing are pills and cigarettes. I rotate between opiates and amphetamines but benzos I have to take daily to not have seizures. Been doing shit since I was 17
@@ezekiel5687 the hardest is to recover from the past trauma, to reconnect, to love yourself , to know you can do and deserve better etc etc . for addicts. I am not one luckily, good luck from the bottom of my heart
@@ezekiel5687 stay up, it's a daily battle
I can absolutely identify with this!
Went to school with this dude. He was super nice and always hella chill. The town we grew up in took a lot of lives due to drugs. Hope he can get out of this hole he’s in.
The way he explained addiction is 100% accurate, every addiction starts with the inability to cope. Which if accompanied by trauma and genetic disposition is fire.
I watch the videos all the but this one hit home with for reason I use too smoke pop Sherman and it took me waking up in the hospital for me to hit bottom but by GOD'S Grace i haven't smoke that shit since 2010 I'm grateful for your story it made realize how far i have come I wish blessings upon you from your testimony I believe you too can overcome your downfalls I wish you nothing but the best on your journey you got this 🙏🙌
You’re a smart guy! You’re better than the addiction! You can beat it and be so successful in life! 🙏🏽
I have had friends like him. My best friend who is now a fentanyl addict is just the same. I don't know alot of other people who are that smart. He's super talented. All wasted to the drugs. If he turned the motivation he has to get high into anything else he'd be a huge success.
Agree Jessica!
It’s really hard. Even if you consciously work through and move past whatever trauma, your brain’s systems that produce feelings of motivation, happiness, love, empathy, contentment, etc are completely hijacked. And especially with opioids, it never forgets that feeling and will play mind games with you to get you to justify using even after years of being clean. They mimic your natural endorphins (“endorphin” is a portmanteau of “endogenous” and “morphine”, a morphine like substance produced by the body naturally). Even after acute withdrawal is over, most addicts deal with the effects of PAWS for a year or more or several years sometimes. Even after PAWS, the pull is strong. I actually think the acute withdrawal is the easiest part even though it is one of the most painful things I’ve ever endured. The long path to rebalancing your brain’s neurotransmitter systems and staying away long term is much harder. Even after three years of being clean, I would still wake up some mornings and feel the ache in my bones. I would drive by a corner or hear or song that would make me instantly start thinking “that would be fun to do just one more time” even though I know nothing about it will be fun. Even if you overcome all that, it’s hard to get any job that isn’t terrible with years missing on your resume and a potential criminal record. It’s also very common to have no family or to have alienated them to the point that you have no help getting on your feet and you’re starting from $0. Even if you’re a genius, it’s hard to crawl out of a hole like that especially in our society. I have read that more intelligent people are more likely to fall prey to substance addiction, but that they are also more likely to overcome addiction. I really hope that’s the case for this guy in the video and for all the other addicts suffering out there. It is possible, but it takes hard work and you have to be willing to try and try and try again even if you keep failing until you don’t. A lot of addicts get clean and then fail and then spiral into guilt and shame and back into addiction. If anyone out there is on this path right now, just know that relapses happen. They are a part of recovery. I’m not saying you shouldn’t avoid them at all costs, but don’t let them destroy you. It’s not starting back over from square one just because you had a moment of weakness. The “days since last use/days sober” number doesn’t matter, it’s your mindset to keep going that matters. You are human and you will make mistakes and fail, but if you pick up the pieces and keep pushing, it will get easier and easier the longer you try (truly try) until one day you will know deep down inside that you’ve made it out and that you are past it. Might take years, might take decades. But it will be worth it. You are worth it. You are worthy of love, both from yourself and others. And you are not alone in this world or in this struggle. Don’t ever forget that.
"You can beat it and be SO SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE!" ❤❤❤❤very good advice.
You are filled with resilience and intelligence. Addiction doesnt judge its victims. The more you reach for a higher power, the more you tell on yourself and rally people who understand it, around you, the more power you will see. You can arrest this monster! I've seen the miracle of it! Keep pushing for what you have built within you my friend. Thank you for sharing!
It’s a hard freaking demon to beat down , although impossible . I think what hurts me the most about it is just how I will for ever be looked at differently from my family . The love I used to feel around them is not the same anymore and that is something that will for ever fuck with my mind . Need my soft white underbelly interview
@@isaiahamaro8232 I'm so sorry. You're worthy of love no matter what you go through or deal with. My brother was an addict and my mother and I did everything we could to still love him no matter what. At times it wasn't easy but it was necessary. He passed away ik 2019 from a car accident. I'm forever grateful for the love we have him. I'll be praying for your strength ✝️🙏
What happened 8 or 9 years ago that started his addiction?
You still might eventually get that back! It can take years for someone to gain their families trust back. I don’t doubt that they love you, but there’s a lot of hurt that happens and family has to emotionally detach. It’s odd and a weird place to be in, bc I’ve been the addict who hurts, and I’ve also been the family member who’s been hurt by it too. Keep doing the right thing though and don’t ever give up, for real. 🙏
Smart guy, hard working, recognises his mistakes. I see no reason why he can't overcome these addictions. If you're reading this, keep at it. You'll get there.
thank you because watching this channel keeps me clean.
None of those things matter when you put a substance in your body that literally changes your brain chemistry. A heroin addiction is nothing compared to a fentanyl addiction. Only the people with the strongest wills can ever hope to escape it without a medical intervention, but we live in a country that makes getting help for these things very difficult. It's why we are the only modern nation that has problems of this magnitude. These people pay with their lives for our "freedom" from socialized medicine.
@@pdizzle10484 I know. That's the tragedy unfortunately. I'm from the UK and some of the shit I see going on in the US is genuinely terrifying. It is ruining the lives of so many great people with so much potential...
Fentanyl completely changes your brain so no matter how hard working or smart you are.
When the nhs will start substitution therapy and any kind of psychological and psychiatric support for free, no insurance or wait list crap, it’s far easier, all you need is the will, which many people on this channel give hints of
He's an adorable person...look at the way he keeps his hands folded...that's from childhood training. I hope his life gets better.
Very self aware and is not sugar coating his situation like so many others. He can do it!!! God speed.
Yes! Taking accountability and no excuses, he’s one step ahead of those not ready to admit their actual situations. I pray for this man. He can do it.
Oh David! Please DON'T QUIT! You have the stamina and intelligence to do this. You're an amazing young man.
This guy is definitely a salesman. He is articulate and smart. Car sales is definitely somewhere he can flourish for sure.. I hope he gets it together and stops doing drugs. The gift of gab is either a blessing or a nightmare. He has it but it could go one way or the other. I hope he turns it into a positive, that will take him far. I wish David the best of luck.
My cousin just overdosed and died a couple days ago from fentanyl.
David, I pray you find a way to heal from your trauma, and become able to get clean and sober in order to preserve your life, and your loved ones hearts.
Just lost my brother. My heart goes out to you. ❤🤗Our childhood is a compilation of these videos. Xoxo
@@heather1845 I’m deeply sorry for the loss of your brother. I have one younger brother that struggles with his on and off use and I couldn’t imagine the loss of a sibling, so my heart goes out to you, and thank you for the condolences.
I think that’s part of the reason I watch these videos too. Life can be rough for people, and it’s important for other humans to see that there are typically, many reasons that lead hurt people to use and to get involved in the sorts of stuff many others do not understand.
@@HashslingingSLASHER92 such a sweet soul you are! That is exactly why I watch. Also to understand. We had a terrible childhood and he got it worse. He just wanted so art and go about his way the hurt of the verbal and physical abuse at the hands our bio mom. Was just too heavy. He wasn't his addiction. He was a smart, small, nutty, genius, street artist whom just couldn't handle the pain on his own. This has been different. It hurts. I pray your little brother feels how much you care. I'll get thinking of you from time to time and sure hope things are looking up for him/y'all . Big hugs
I pray he gets the help he needs. He’s so smart! You got this! Put the drugs down, Sir please. Sending prayers to him 🙏🏽❤️
Prayers alone will not help. You must go and see this man. Amen 🙏
David, you're family to us. You never burned a bridge in our home. Much Love
Why not get this guy into rehab rather than begging Rebecca??
Omg. 😂
Right ‼️
David, it's so sad to see you at this place in your life. You were always so nice to me in school. I hope you find the strength to stop and better your life. You're so smart and clearly capable. Just keep truckin!
David, you have a good heart. You’re better than the life you’re living. It’s never too late and I believe you are capable of making a life for yourself that you can be proud of. Don’t give up!
David you were always so intelligent and kind hearted to everyone around you. There’s no doubt in my mind that there is a bigger purpose for you in this life. Much love brother I’ll be thinking positive for you.
Damn. Give this brother the offer to Florida. He wants to change and thrive. Good luck and be strong have courage and be brave. You can rise above this.
For real! Someone ready.
THIS
Yes!
If he's committed to change. The dope on the east coast is so fucked you get the same mystery soup of fent and analogous as the west but on the east almost every stamp bag has xylazine or some type of benzo in it to make it stronger. Xylazine withdrawal is so much worst than fent and you also get deep necrotic sores on your shins.
3:39 “Comfort, friends, and food…” -Things that all children should have 😭💯
I love you baby brother. We are here for you. We believe in you. You can do this. I will always be here to support you with whatever I can help with. Your family and friends LOVE you so so so so much.
Our whole family needs to heal and I have faith that we will. We need you here we need you alive. Please please please please reach out to us when you want to use. You can do this. You can do this I know it.
This guy is in the beginning stages of change. He knows he has a problem but he is having problems actually doing things to change it for the better.
He’s very articulate and self aware which is good, most addicts are drowning in self denial and victimizing themselves which they feel vindicates their continued use.
This guy at least believes in something greater than himself and is fully aware of how destructive and unmanageable his life is.
I really hope that last part clicks in and he gets to a meeting and makes the right choice.
Experience: an ex-fentanyl and Xanax addict with a couple years clean and an operations manager for a rehab facility.
I am an addict. I am free from what shackled me. I pray this dude finds his way. If he doesn't, he is a statistic. A throwaway as far as most of society and our Government is concerned. I see value in him. He has my prayers
Crazy seeing you here dude !
@@XrpAndy lol. I live on TH-cam. This is a good channel
I've been to five funerals this last year due to fentanyl. From Seattle to Philadelphia. It has devastated so many lives. This has become an epidemic in our Country. I wish this young man well in life. Hopefully, he gets help.
All these people are looking for is love. ❤
Lol really ? 5? I don’t even know 5 people who’s dumb e nuff to take a retard drug like that
Sorry patriot girl. I have lost friends too. In fact in 2017 my dumbass took half of a fake Percocet not knowing and got real sick. Luckily I was on pain meds too I think having a bit of tolerance helped. I don't use drugs other than some legal weed here and there. Don't even drink anymore. It's scary because it can happen to anyone not just a drug addict.
Sorry for ur lost also Majority of the overdosing happens from people that doesn’t have a tolerance built up.
Very true! The majority of addicts have mental trauma.
@@col.cottonhill6655 I use to be addicted to fake percs only cuz I would get really bad withdrawals without it and needed it to get better. I use to break lil pieces and snort it, my tolerance was so high I did 10+ pills a day. A person with no tolerance would have been dead if they did that much but luckily I’m on Suboxone and it helped me get off it. It helps with the withdrawals.
This one hurt my soul to watch. You’re so much better than that life of despair….I pray with all my heart you get clean and sober and live the life you deserve xoxo
Thank you David for opening up. The first step is wanting to change. You are so well spoken and clear thinking. Best of luck to you in your journey.
Dude get back into radiology!! You're such a good looking guy! Get well and get settled and I bet you meet a gorgeous nurse that wants to settle down with you ^_^ Praying for you!
Such a smart guy! I can tell by what he is saying that he’s tired of doing the drugs. You’re right there buddy you CAN do it and you will.
David your story (and reality) touched my heart. Keep on pushing forward because you ARE worth it! ❤
You can still be the man your mom raised you to be. Do it for you! You deserve better.
We take those small victories, David! I’m in that odd area as well where I’m going back and forth but can’t seem to quit it completely yet but we keep at it. Wishing nothing but the best for you ❤
Me too! Before I do it I try to REALLY think about how I’m going to feel afterward; disappointed. I am becoming more mindful instead of just reacting to the thought of getting high. Keep it up Ashley.
The small victories end up being the biggest victories!! Keep pushing, beautiful!
You can do it. I just got to 20 days clean, and I was on h for 10 years…. It’s been the hardest shit of my life. And I OD’d 24 days ago because it was fent not h, I’ve never OD’d once in my life. I wish you the best of luck.
You're awesome!!!! I'm so proud of you and tou can do it! Remember, anything worth having takes work! You are doing so well for yourself and we are all behind you!
Thank you, Mark. I admire your work. It gives me great insight into the world. Wishing you well always. ❤
Damn,,,,this is the most genuine person I have seen on here!!!!! God, please be with David. Grant him serenity and peace! Please Lord heal David... In Jesus name, Amen!
Wow, David, a man after my own heart, you were honest, you were sympathetic, you talked about God in a way that Ik made Him proud, and you gave me chills when Mark asked what’s your one wish and instead of responding with something selfish, you responded sincerely with the wish to take back the hurt you caused your family. You are on the right path young man and God hears you, ask and your desire will be granted. Much love
i love this guy. I was the only self aware user that wasnt blind to what was going on. He deserves help and im rooting for him. Good luck. It is possible. 3 months clean from 5 years of fentanyl use.
Congratulations , amazing struggling just to give up smoking
you got this hom,ie, thank you boss@@latouchetherapy
The most powerful thing he said was “I”. He blames no one for his decision. He knows that HE has to make the change. God can help, and you must rely upon him fully.
You’re not alone.
I have to comment again...God bless that man for hearing the sincere desire to be free and honoring it with a chance to show it. That straight despair ..Ive sat with it so many times...Ive thankfully never had to know the streets, but I got close. I just get this feeling you are SO close to a shift. Opposition ALWAYS comes before huge positive things. My struggle is very similar but was with pain medication. It took time to get here, itll take time getting out, getting blessed by God along the way. You seem like such a good man..I think If I met you Id love being around you. Stand tall! You are definitely worth FAR more than you can see right now ♥️♥️♥️ I'm bawling my eyes out on this car ride this morning...If I could embrace you I would!
David, I hope you see this … I randomly watched your interview and then caught on that it was taped almost a year ago… I have been free from drugs and alcohol for over 13 years mostly through a 12 step program . What I hear from you and see on your face is a desperation to be set free from the chains of addiction.. the gift of desperation is waiting for you to unwrap it and walk away from the horrid life worse than death life of an addict. I heard your references to the Big Book of AA.. so clearly it did make an impact on you. I hope you have found your way, you are an incredible human being more than worthy of living happily, joyous and free in sobriety . I would love an update, until then I will keep you in my prayers. ❤
I grew up with this guy and the last time I saw him was at a mutual friends funeral from fentanyl overdose. He was sober last time I saw him I hate that he is at this point in his life. I hope you get better David
Yeah me too dude. He went Alex’s funeral
@@BABiiB420 Petaluma gang
This man is so honest. My heart goes out to him.
You’re so much better than your circumstances as a kid.
I was the same. Always had to work and was beaten so badly by my father.
Keep going back to school.
I hate to say. But an education is the way out.
You’re going to be amazing in the health care field. I’m in nursing. I’m shocked my Brain didn’t suffer all the decades I was a drink on Klonopin every day!
I feel deep empathy toward you. Your soul shines with light even through all your trials. I believe you will walk through that door of sobriety and never look back! Sending lots of love from Iceland. God bless you. Keep listening to the divine guidance and you will succeed and make your Mama so very proud. I’m rooting for you ❤
Keep going, David!! You can do this. The future is determined by small choices, oftentimes. I'd be happy to get an x-ray from you - please get back into school - you can have a much better life that you can be proud of ❤
Focus on your sober sleep. That is what motivated me as well. Please never stop pushing, you seem like an awesome guy.
WELL DONE TO HIS MOTHER FOR WORKING 3JOBS TO SUPPORT HER CHILDREN !!! SHE IS A HERO !!!!!!
he does not look like a typical street junkie YET, but if he does not stop mistreating himself ,he soon will.
I understand the poor conditions he was brought up in , and he can definitely reward himself with a glass of wine everyday , a can of red bull, a bar of chocolate , a joint here and there etc
NO thank you , DAVID,, typically people cannot risk dying or losing all they build during their lives in order to experiment the high of drug use since we get good highs pretty often by achieving things , by making money , by traveling abroad , by feeling respectful members in society , by helping /becoming role models for children and so on and so forth .WE see drug addicts everywhere and they radiate pure misery in bad health ,so , we know what it is like and we stay the furthest away possible .
WISH U ALL THE BEST BUDDY , greetings from Athens,Greece .
Advocating for a drug addict to use drugs as a reward is wrong
He’s a very intelligent, self aware guy. I wish him the best . David I have a feeling that you already know this, but it’s all up to you, and you alone, to fix your life. You are the solution to your problems. The world needs people like you who are healthy and capable- which you can become for certain
I really feel like David can make it. He knows what he needs to do. Once you get rid of the demon, GOD will show you the way.
This channel has scared me into never trying drugs.
Your awareness and intelligence about your disease is truly remarkable! Many people are so gone and don’t have that luck. I think you want it bad enough, and I believe you can help so many people! Especially youth! I think you’ll find if you can start helping other people, you’re also help yourself! I wish you the best of luck!
It's crazy how fast time flies, they say it for a reason. The age of some of these addicts really hit's home for me. I'm 35 but can probably look in my lower to mid 20's, even after a decade of opiates/cigarettes. I'm always thankful I don't look as old as I am and I don't wear years of using on my face like it happens with some.
God damn this dude hits the nail on the head explaining addiction. Smart dude just gotta get over that speed bump.
This guy spoke so much truth at the end of this interview. I was speaking to someone about my recovery yesterday. He didn't understand why I couldn't stop when my addiction got out of hand. I've learned to say: 'with all due respect, you don't get it because you've never experienced it.' People usually have good intentions but should never pretend to know what's best for someone going through addiction. It's not helpful to assume based on a lack of personal experience you know how to fix addiction. Unless, of course, you're an exceptionally empathetic individual with the correct training.
And rehab! Give him that Florida rehab, Mark. He knows what his issues are and he’s READY, he just needs the tools deal with his trauma and to stay sober.
I like this guy i so wish him the best such a nice guy He is still young great personality nice looking Please get the help you need David so can have such a great life My heart breaks for this man. Thank you Mark for all you do
get yourself to a meeting dude ! you have obviously done enough research. God bless you mate stay safe.
No one should have to work three jobs and still be on food stamps. Unbelievable it’s just really sad
I just lost my brother to a fatal fentanyl overdose, after many previous overdoses. Fentanyl kills. Please don't let the devil get you too. There is still hope.
Dear sweet David, my little brother in NA.. please please keep coming back, better yet stay, it works, I've seen it work for so many and you can do it too, you're worth it, you're loved and everything can be forgiven, please you have so much potential to be free.. use the program, connect, go to meetings, pick up the phone or the literature or pray whatever the next right thing is, you never have to pick up again, your life can be beyond your wildest dreams, 1 minute at a time ❤❤❤
This man is about to experience a shift for the better. God grant David a new steay job and a true friend or two. Prayers for you, David. I related to a lot of what you said. You are forgiven
Poor guy. The struggle is so real it's painful to see even someone I don't know have to suffer this way
David you have insight. Something most addicts don't have. Please keep believing and I wish you all the luck in the world. You are worth it. Keep on grinding on. You can beat this. Continue with being a radiographer. You will regret it if you don't since you are still young @ 30. Much love to you my friend. X
Also radiology technicians are BADLY needed now. If he can get into rehab and sober living, and back into school while working, he’s on track for a solid well-paying career. Get out of LA and get away from the triggers and keep going to meetings Surround himself with a recovery community. He’s right there, he wants this and he’s capable and knows what he needs - he just needs the tools and coping skills from rehab/therapy to resist and to be surrounded with a supportive community instead of other addicts and dealers on Skid Row. Walk through that door, David. You can do it!
Keep walking thru the fire. Your faith is your balance in the hard times. I've been struggling with addiction and depression. I'm in therapy and taking Care of myself day by day. Active in basketball 🏀 and keep busy in my sketch books.
This man needs a chance. I hope you can get the help you seem to want. ❤
Thanks for sharing. I don’t comment much on here but thank you for the transparency brother! God Bless Us All
I grew up with David, damn, lifes a trip
Me too dude. Petaluma gang
I feel you're pain, so meany people are in you're situation, want to get better but its too hard and life has gone too far. I know what you mean about a purpose that keeps you going, i wasn't religious and don't believe in much but I know there's something out there that keeps us alive, because being alive is the biggest miracle off all. I've used drugs for years... 5 weeks ago I quit my job because it was getting to much, I had a great up bringing and great everything but as soon as you adapt the lifestyle, its with you forever .. I don't even know were im going with this but I feel just like you and it scares me. There is some purpose to all of this and that is so true 👍 you're a beautiful human and It will work for you 💛
You cand do it David. Keep God in your mind & heart, remember your worth as a child of God. You got this bro!!!
Omgosh, so sad what children endure. I was a single mom (more like abandoned as my husband left) and had to work up to 3 jobs for years. Dads, please at least take care of your children if you decide to leave your wives or the mother of your children. These kids need fathers!
Hope he has the best ahead. He seems like one of the few on this channel that is self aware
David,much love to you,and even more good energy headed your way. Thank you for being brave and sharing your story. Head up brother,and keep fighting.❤
Good Morning Internet People!👋😃or whatever time of day it is in your part of the world. Peace and Love and all that Jazz from 6:10am Brooklyn NY🇺🇸 to you and wherever in the world🌍 you are, my SWU fam.
GM brother eyes, 4:30am in Denver CO! Have a great day my friend!!!
@Gram #7 Wat up Grams! Friggin chilly today. 30°. I wasn’t ready for this today. I thought we were done with this cold.
You’ve got this!! You have so much to offer and are so loved even by strangers
Thank you for sharing your story. You are worthwhile ❤ I see strength breaking through layers of darkness. Your stark honesty shines through. I am praying for you 🙏🏼 You are loved.
I wake up and ask for guidance, strength and direction! I will start doing the same, because I need to. Not an addict, just personal stuff. Thanks David for the reminder.
I really like this person. Prayers for David. 🙏
It always starts at home.. absent parents are destroying our country.
If you have children please talk with them about drugs before it’s too late
These stories,. The origins are the same. How our lifestyles were as kids effects us so much. This is why I invest in my kids so heavily. Time education love laughter play stability prayer health. We must provide these to give our kids a chance to be a whole person. Praying for this man
You have value just because you exist. Just showing up is enough. You got this brother!!
David eres sumamente inteligente y bueno...esa es tu oportunidad de vida...don't let the present momentum fade. Thousands of us this side of the screen are sending you strength....even all the way from Peru 😉
I think I finally understood, listening to David, why i've been compulsively watching these interviews: they are like cautionary tales to me. I live in a (still) rich part of europe and i believe us westerners are led by our so called elites to our doom. In the back of my mind i think that listening to all these people might help me avoid some of the pitfalls that come with a harder life than the one i've been living up until now... i'm hoping that when the proverbial shit will hits the proverbial fan, the memory of these peoples' experiences might help me and mine surviving a rough life in the decades to come... Thank you Mark for this salutary work you are doing, thanks to David, Rebecca and all the others for telling their life stories. Love, N.
U can hear when Marks brain turns on to the interview. When he believes what the person is saying. When he starts to believe in someone. It really doesn’t happen often. But when it does his voice changes.
David, you have the smarts to overcome this addiction. Your goals are at your reach. The faith you have will help you on this journey. I hope you succeed and enjoy this precious life we all have. May God Bless You. In the name of Jesus. ❤❤❤
I have been on Percocet and Vicodin for accidents and injuries and I understand the withdrawals. However, it never seemed like a big deal because I was taking fairly low doses every day. So, stopping has never been a big deal. I read that most people who get narcotics in the hospital or for injuries usually stop fairly easily. The addicts who can’t stop are in a very complicated situation that isn’t just about withdrawals. Read “Chasing the Scream”. If you really want to understand addiction. It’s much more complicated than just stop for those who are addicts. I have my brother battle meth addiction for 30 years. He is slowly losing the battle and it’s a miracle he is 55 years old. His health is starting to seriously decline now. So, I doubt he will make it into his 60’s.
Thank you for sharing
A purpose of a driven life is a good book
The poignant interview with fentanyl addict David sheds light on the gripping reality of addiction and the struggles faced by those trying to break free from its grasp. This kind of people should be featured on OTR!
David, I got clean when I turned 30. it's a great age to do it man.
Get this guy some help he 100% needs a opportunity and a hand up!
Awesome interview- I prayed for him.
This man got a calling on his life 🙏🏽 He don’t know it but he going places
I'd like to see a updated interview to see how hes doing. ❤
Recovery is a journey and you have the right mindset to make it happen. Keep seeking access to mental health because it's a tool for keeping up your sobriety. If you ever decide to go back, I'm sure the Catholic Church will welcome you back with open arms. Peace be with you!
The best way to get a job in your situation is to literally go door to door for as long as it takes. Hit up the restaurant areas. Show up in person, looking good and ready to go. He speaks and presents himself well. Go out there and you’ll find work in ONE DAY. Guaranteed
Smart Guy ! We’re all rooting for you !!! ❤
You got this David, you deserve a great life. You just gotta believe it ❤
David, I wish you all the best, hope you gets better and live the life you dream of. We can see in your eyes that you are way better than your current situation, and you have the strength to achieve your goals. I am from Brazil and I am sending you all the prayers and good thougths.
David, im a David too. Nice to meet you. Hearing you talk about alcohol made me wonder.... Can't you just drink hard instead of smoking fenty? I'm British so we are way more liberal on the drinking front but faced with the demon of opiates I know what id prefer. Sending love and positive vibes for your recovery. Its ok to switch a very dangerous drug for a safe one!
May the higher power be with you always. You will make it.
I love your honesty. That's always been my strongest attribute to life
I wish you all the best dude. You can do this. You know what to do. Walk the walk and don't look back because you can shake it. 🙏🏼