This is what made me find answers to my dilemma. I watch this all my life and the man always goes to jail. Then I looked into the family and saw men walking around like a hurt puppy that chewed the couch but they walked around like this all the time. They started the argument in the bed room and took it to the living room and then they shut down and it always looked like I started the argument and was a ass to them. I figured it all out.
Oh yes. Don’t miss this one at all. Hours of circular agreements, word salad, projection, deflection, 0 accountability. My narc was a machine. She could go on for days on end. Eventually I got to the point where I could withstand the onslaught of her verbal attacks for hours without reacting and I would hang in there with her and validate her irrational feelings without reacting. Of course eventually she would cut so low or fabricate a false reality so bad that I would lose my cool. Her response was always, there it is (as if my true nature which was to get angry was finally coming through). Like it was a game to see just how much it took this time to break me. Like the emperor prodding darth Vader to feel his hate and accept his destiny of the dark side.
It's hard to take a step back and remove yourself from these situations when they arise, when you lose it. Especially when the abuse is cumulative and you get blindsided by a hurtful comment or bad behavior. It is correct to say you will always be held to account for your reaction and you will be constantly be reminded about it for eternity
My evil husband and I are separated by law because of domestic violence again after 18 years and I can't even tell you how many arrests, moving all over the country, loss of everything material and personal and familial, ect.... There's a couple times he beat me up really really bad. He had me living with him in a tent in Oklahoma and about a week before he beat my face up he told me he knew exactly what buttons to push to get me to throw the first punch. I won't go into the conversation after that. A week later in the throes of the fight inside the tent he sat on me and told me to stop reacting with my face bruised and bloody. They set you up gleefully. I'm not the same person and I'm really really fighting a hardened heart. This time around the cops could see right through him and I told them when they came that I this time around the cops could see what was going on. I told him the truth and I told them if they needed to take me to jail for being the first one to make contact physically so be it. They disagreed with me and the next day he was arrested , bonded out like always because of the flying monkeys, divorce papers have been filed and he's probably been served, and I'm going all the way whatever is asked of me by the courts this time. I'm an abusive person now. Hyper vigilant hypersensitive hyperactive hyper everything. Sucks.
Wow I didn’t even know how to label what it is that I’m experiencing. I’m so beaten down that I feel like the narcissist. I learned that I’m capable of acting narcissistic but I’m not out for blood. It’s a last resort defense mechanism. I feel horrible when I act out. I started stealing from her to buy weed because I couldn’t fall asleep without it. I felt so ashamed and awful. I did it out of a place of weakness. But I feel like somehow she manipulated me over the year I’ve been here to become this shell of a person. She wonders why I always want her pills??? 🤦♂️ I want to take her pills because I can’t deal with her without them. Even then I still can’t. I am planning on leaving the 5th.
It's like being cruelly mistreated and let down emotionally and as a normal human being by someone you have put your trust in. It's called crazymaking.
Reading the Bible is the very best tool for me. Second would be praying to God Almighty, my creator, who knows me better than I know myself. He's my saviour, my comforter and my best friend ❣️
This is what made me find answers to my dilemma. I watch this all my life and the man always goes to jail. Then I looked into the family and saw men walking around like a hurt puppy that chewed the couch but they walked around like this all the time. They started the argument in the bed room and took it to the living room and then they shut down and it always looked like I started the argument and was a ass to them. I figured it all out.
Oh yes. Don’t miss this one at all. Hours of circular agreements, word salad, projection, deflection, 0 accountability. My narc was a machine. She could go on for days on end. Eventually I got to the point where I could withstand the onslaught of her verbal attacks for hours without reacting and I would hang in there with her and validate her irrational feelings without reacting. Of course eventually she would cut so low or fabricate a false reality so bad that I would lose my cool. Her response was always, there it is (as if my true nature which was to get angry was finally coming through). Like it was a game to see just how much it took this time to break me. Like the emperor prodding darth Vader to feel his hate and accept his destiny of the dark side.
It's hard to take a step back and remove yourself from these situations when they arise, when you lose it. Especially when the abuse is cumulative and you get blindsided by a hurtful comment or bad behavior.
It is correct to say you will always be held to account for your reaction and you will be constantly be reminded about it for eternity
My evil husband and I are separated by law because of domestic violence again after 18 years and I can't even tell you how many arrests, moving all over the country, loss of everything material and personal and familial, ect.... There's a couple times he beat me up really really bad. He had me living with him in a tent in Oklahoma and about a week before he beat my face up he told me he knew exactly what buttons to push to get me to throw the first punch. I won't go into the conversation after that. A week later in the throes of the fight inside the tent he sat on me and told me to stop reacting with my face bruised and bloody. They set you up gleefully. I'm not the same person and I'm really really fighting a hardened heart. This time around the cops could see right through him and I told them when they came that I this time around the cops could see what was going on. I told him the truth and I told them if they needed to take me to jail for being the first one to make contact physically so be it. They disagreed with me and the next day he was arrested , bonded out like always because of the flying monkeys, divorce papers have been filed and he's probably been served, and I'm going all the way whatever is asked of me by the courts this time. I'm an abusive person now. Hyper vigilant hypersensitive hyperactive hyper everything. Sucks.
Silent treatment is more damaging than physical abuse according to research.
I cursed this narc out on zoom in front of students in June, it was reactive abuse.
Wow I didn’t even know how to label what it is that I’m experiencing. I’m so beaten down that I feel like the narcissist. I learned that I’m capable of acting narcissistic but I’m not out for blood. It’s a last resort defense mechanism. I feel horrible when I act out. I started stealing from her to buy weed because I couldn’t fall asleep without it. I felt so ashamed and awful. I did it out of a place of weakness. But I feel like somehow she manipulated me over the year I’ve been here to become this shell of a person. She wonders why I always want her pills??? 🤦♂️ I want to take her pills because I can’t deal with her without them. Even then I still can’t. I am planning on leaving the 5th.
I don’t like the words, reactive abuse. It’s more like defend yourself.
It's like being cruelly mistreated and let down emotionally and as a normal human being by someone you have put your trust in. It's called crazymaking.
Thank you.
Great video 😊
Reading the Bible is the very best tool for me. Second would be praying to God Almighty, my creator, who knows me better than I know myself. He's my saviour, my comforter and my best friend ❣️