Al-Qaeda Calls Off Attack On Nation's Capitol To Spare Life Of 'Twilight' Author

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 1.8K

  • @EayuProuxm
    @EayuProuxm 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8971

    "Why? Why? But WHY? The themes are universal."
    I love how offended he is while saying that.

    • @DoriZuza
      @DoriZuza 2 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      Best part of the video

    • @HellHunter00
      @HellHunter00 2 ปีที่แล้ว +94

      1:50
      That..that is...wow..
      🤣🤣 He can't even.

    • @drkissinger1
      @drkissinger1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +83

      That's by far the best part: detecting just the smallest hint of contempt and immediately getting defensive.

    • @Mia-ge7xf
      @Mia-ge7xf ปีที่แล้ว +4

      The brilliant acting!!!

    • @etherealhoney96
      @etherealhoney96 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      "the books are for kids thats what ur thinking, yes? THAT IS THE HEIGHT OF ARROGANCE" lmfaoooo

  • @ZeSgtSchultz
    @ZeSgtSchultz 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6857

    "The themes are universal"

    • @Crystal-od5is
      @Crystal-od5is 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      666 likes

    • @arikalamari19
      @arikalamari19 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      that was cute

    • @afoolsbabybear2266
      @afoolsbabybear2266 3 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      You will be hooked or my mother is a Jew

    • @DoriZuza
      @DoriZuza 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      He sounded so offended 😂

  • @jeffsanders1609
    @jeffsanders1609 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6168

    She actually finished Midnight Sun this year. Al Queda had to wait ten years but it paid off in the end!

  • @KrimsonVagus
    @KrimsonVagus 8 ปีที่แล้ว +21146

    0:21 The entire Arabic conversation was very accurately translated in English.
    It's that awkward moment when a satire channel is more well-researched than some documentaries out there lol

    • @AlexanderMccarthey87
      @AlexanderMccarthey87 7 ปีที่แล้ว +830

      It does sound well done.

    • @dabtican4953
      @dabtican4953 5 ปีที่แล้ว +891

      Probably also to make it believable to Arabic speakers if they see this cause if not they'd realise the joke if they didn't already

    • @luiysia
      @luiysia 5 ปีที่แล้ว +393

      and the twilight references are all accurate as well, simply incredible

    • @agdgdgwngo
      @agdgdgwngo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +696

      That's the thing with Onion stuff, it's actually very well researched. scripted and acted. I first used to think it is a less well done version of say The Day Today but its actually probably better. I see people posting this stuff thinking its real all the time.

    • @hydragons
      @hydragons 5 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      even google understand them well

  • @Lsthnbrd
    @Lsthnbrd 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6928

    “Why does Al Qaeda care if Mrs Meyers is alive?”
    “That is… wow.”

    • @kevinle5460
      @kevinle5460 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      YOU CURR!

    • @uncovidvaxxforthestrongand3582
      @uncovidvaxxforthestrongand3582 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      😂😂😂😂😂😂🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧

    • @hus390
      @hus390 ปีที่แล้ว +225

      A very offended fan

    • @theeleanorshellstrop
      @theeleanorshellstrop ปีที่แล้ว +95

      his taking offense just cracks me up

    • @hehehehahahahahaha
      @hehehehahahahahaha ปีที่แล้ว +56

      You know she could always resume her work on midnight sun- or write another book on renesmes point of view…

  • @aradicalkiwi806
    @aradicalkiwi806 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9500

    Bin Laden is on team Jacob, wow all respect lost

    • @4our2wenty02
      @4our2wenty02 5 ปีที่แล้ว +88

      😂

    • @CT--gs1wj
      @CT--gs1wj 5 ปีที่แล้ว +889

      Now we know the real cause of his assassination

    • @NJ-wb1cz
      @NJ-wb1cz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +894

      @@CT--gs1wj yeah, Obama was cleary an Edward guy

    • @MeguminIsWaifu
      @MeguminIsWaifu 4 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      911 likes perfect

    • @busterb7482
      @busterb7482 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Excuse me Bin Laden, he slapped her, he's obviously not right for her

  • @Fadic4
    @Fadic4 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4094

    The Arabic was actually true

    • @gxashxg299
      @gxashxg299 5 ปีที่แล้ว +140

      Ikr I died of laughter I understood it all

    • @xl000
      @xl000 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      The NSA is now monitoring your IP address and all of your social media
      XKeyscore much ?

    • @otter4206
      @otter4206 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@gxashxg299 what did they say?

    • @IzzuddinRafli
      @IzzuddinRafli 4 ปีที่แล้ว +122

      @@otter4206 Exactly what the translations on screen say

    • @cvspvr
      @cvspvr 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      i would watch the full length al qaeda twilight remake

  • @TeaAtTwo2
    @TeaAtTwo2 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2548

    The Mr Al- Farouq actor is an awesome comedic actor. I hope he gets more work.

    • @gundamator4709
      @gundamator4709 3 ปีที่แล้ว +303

      actor? what are you smoking everyone knows mr omar al-farouq is one of al-queda's best members and a pr director.

    • @TCt83067695
      @TCt83067695 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      @@gundamator4709 was*
      He must have moved on now to new opportunities

    • @sundhaug92
      @sundhaug92 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      His name is Miles Grose

    • @Gangstabob716
      @Gangstabob716 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@sundhaug92Whats his ethnicity? Cant find it online

    • @TheMostSusGuy
      @TheMostSusGuy ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@gundamator4709 Oh. Is he real Al-Farouq?

  • @ladenbinosama7534
    @ladenbinosama7534 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3147

    It's amazing how a satire show is doing a better job at speaking different languages than some of the best Hollywood movies out there.

    • @chippysteve4524
      @chippysteve4524 2 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Since when did Hollywood give a sh!t about reality?
      I missed that meeting ;-)
      They even overdub knife-sharpening sounds when someone(non-metallic) gets stabbed FFS.

    • @mikearchibald744
      @mikearchibald744 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@chippysteve4524 I love the vppt vppt of silencers on guns. Where are these silencers?

    • @mr.nobody4529
      @mr.nobody4529 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      ​@@mikearchibald744In the minds of Hollywood executives lol

    • @ilphi08
      @ilphi08 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      To be fair, it's easier to cast someone that could speak the langauge a whole lot more than someone attractive and could speak the language at the same time

  • @lanelawless
    @lanelawless 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2463

    I think the funniest joke in this video is just that the Onion has a correspondent who's just a member of Al Qaeda.

    • @ayoungethan
      @ayoungethan ปีที่แล้ว +63

      "embedded"

    • @Mickeysternum245
      @Mickeysternum245 ปีที่แล้ว +358

      And he's introduced as their terrorism expert

    • @biseinerheult78
      @biseinerheult78 ปีที่แล้ว +113

      @@Mickeysternum245I mean he‘s definitely more of an expert on the matter than most tv „experts“.

    • @echo5327
      @echo5327 ปีที่แล้ว +141

      Best part is he’s a recurring character

    • @Dav-lc8sc
      @Dav-lc8sc 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Exactly 😂

  • @hakimibnobaydah
    @hakimibnobaydah 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1619

    The Arabic was spot-on and they even made it in Iraqi Arabic! The onion is amazing

    • @theevildrummingsithlord1492
      @theevildrummingsithlord1492 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Is Iraqi Arabic like a separate dialect?

    • @mshaqed2538
      @mshaqed2538 3 ปีที่แล้ว +243

      @@theevildrummingsithlord1492 Yes, arabic isn't a single language, and it can differ between deifferent countries.
      For expamle, in Egypt they yse the sound g instead of j, which doesn't accur in other countries.

    • @theevildrummingsithlord1492
      @theevildrummingsithlord1492 3 ปีที่แล้ว +73

      @@mshaqed2538 Oh wow. That's interesting. Thanks for explaining!

    • @ChangedNames
      @ChangedNames 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Felt a little lebnani to me

    • @Vercingetorix.Fantasia
      @Vercingetorix.Fantasia 2 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      @@theevildrummingsithlord1492 oh man, Arabic much like hindi, has so many dialects. The words and sounds change slightly every 30 miles lol

  • @onlyhousestarklivesmatter
    @onlyhousestarklivesmatter 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3814

    just the pure joy he had when he said Alhamdulillah (praise Allah) for Robert and Kristen, I died. 😂😂😂

    • @anuragneelam8527
      @anuragneelam8527 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Oh wait I thought it was “allahu ahkbar” that meant praise allah, I didn’t know there were two ways to say it! Neat!

    • @onlyhousestarklivesmatter
      @onlyhousestarklivesmatter 2 ปีที่แล้ว +174

      @@anuragneelam8527 to be honest Allah huAkbar kinda means God Is Great (Akbar = great). It can be used to praise God but the term is usually said to reinforce that God is One hence the greatest.
      Alhamdulillah is usually said when you want to thank Allah if a thing goes your way or you are glad about a blessing, so you are praising Allah but the context is different from Allah huAkbar. Alhamdulillah is like saying "thanks to Allah (God)", so basically, "Thank God".

    • @anuragneelam8527
      @anuragneelam8527 2 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      @@onlyhousestarklivesmatter oh neat, ty for the info :)

    • @scottdoesntmatter4409
      @scottdoesntmatter4409 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@anuragneelam8527 Allahu akbar is the phrase Islamic terrorists shout when they commit acts of jihad.

    • @kidfox3971
      @kidfox3971 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      ​@@onlyhousestarklivesmatter That's also the notification you get in Hearts of Iron 4 if you're cursed enough to reform the Ottoman Sultanate in 1940.

  • @vladutcarson5530
    @vladutcarson5530 8 ปีที่แล้ว +9240

    you will be hooked or my mother is a jew . ahahaha splendid

    • @CyberDog00
      @CyberDog00 5 ปีที่แล้ว +122

      Vlad Carson I fucking miss this type of content

    • @notinthemoodfornames8033
      @notinthemoodfornames8033 5 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Who doesn’t

    • @Crystal-od5is
      @Crystal-od5is 5 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Lmao I gave the video a like as soon as I heard that line.

    • @samr6408
      @samr6408 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      IM YOUR 2K LIKE MADE MY DAY

    • @Prisoner
      @Prisoner 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      What's the joke?

  • @orbemsolis
    @orbemsolis 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1839

    OR MY MOTHER IS A JEW

    • @demetriusmiddleton1246
      @demetriusmiddleton1246 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      😭😭😭😭

    • @gtabibi7069
      @gtabibi7069 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      My mother is one

    • @awddfg
      @awddfg 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@gtabibi7069 *_disgusting_*

    • @Baraa.K.Mohammad
      @Baraa.K.Mohammad 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@gtabibi7069 Yikes...

    • @oracle8192
      @oracle8192 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@gtabibi7069 oh God I'm so sorry for you, did she try to sell you into slavery or give all your possessions to the bank she works at as collateral?

  • @geegeezlouis86
    @geegeezlouis86 14 ปีที่แล้ว +1530

    "Why? The themes are universal."
    I love the Onion. So much.

    • @faisalpaalijo7127
      @faisalpaalijo7127 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Are you an old man named Louis?...

    • @geegeezlouis86
      @geegeezlouis86 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@faisalpaalijo7127 I was 16 when I posted that comment so no. I made this account when I was like 12 and couldn't think of a username, I was going for "geez, Louise!" and picked a random number and misspelled Louise and here we are 14 years later

    • @SInkiHui1997
      @SInkiHui1997 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@geegeezlouis86 responding to a comment you left 10 years ago, feeling old yet?

    • @geegeezlouis86
      @geegeezlouis86 3 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@SInkiHui1997 not really come back in 10 more years

    • @achrafjk7531
      @achrafjk7531 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Dexter clarence Fongkot Is that an Attack on Titan reference?

  • @user-hh2is9kg9j
    @user-hh2is9kg9j 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1298

    The Arabic translation is really accurate as others have said. Unlike Hollywood movies which have huge budgets and can't get Arabic right. I am not sure about other languages but they always butcher Arabic I was watching the movie "Contact" and they show the reaction of different countries to the aliens and they showed Arabic written backward which is completely unreadable. The irony was that the movie is about deciphering Alien language but they failed to decipher a human language.

    • @LusciousTwinkle
      @LusciousTwinkle 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      as its part of a script theres no excuse....

    • @Abdul-Akeem_Akinloye
      @Abdul-Akeem_Akinloye 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      This made me chuckle.

    • @ananthropomorphictalkinggo6641
      @ananthropomorphictalkinggo6641 2 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      The onion is all about details like that.

    • @js2010ish
      @js2010ish 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      😤 so frustrating to hear! I love Contact, too, what a shame

    • @cmfrtblynmb02
      @cmfrtblynmb02 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same with Turkish. Half of the time they butcher it.

  • @mohamedmedhat2436
    @mohamedmedhat2436 5 ปีที่แล้ว +570

    That was actuall arabic, I love this channel.

    • @Jimrlst
      @Jimrlst 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Baron Von Grijffenbourg Yes (acording to alot of other commenters)

    • @SerTempleton
      @SerTempleton 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      @@Jimrlst I am yet to see an actual expensive Hollywood piece with actual Arabic. They all pass gibberish as Arabic.
      Yet the onion got a fluent Arabic dialogue. 🤯

    • @bigdikbubls
      @bigdikbubls 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@SerTempleton that's really shitty though. I never knew

    • @gino9094
      @gino9094 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@SerTempleton In Malaysia a guy explained to me that Arabic can have a lot of meanings for words but the way it is said is just onlynso slightly different. Like if you are talking to a friend or a CEO etc

  • @CrossStarX
    @CrossStarX 11 ปีที่แล้ว +3315

    i lost it at "Osama Bin Laden himself is a member of Team Jacob"
    ...
    your move, Team Edward.

    • @szahmad2416
      @szahmad2416 4 ปีที่แล้ว +116

      Seal Team 6 (looking up from their copy): “We got this”.

    • @cracno1125
      @cracno1125 4 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      JACOB AKBAR !

    • @Mecanotech
      @Mecanotech 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I laughed

    • @XD152awesomeness
      @XD152awesomeness 4 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      Lol I was about to say, it seems Obama was team Edward

    • @kaushalsuvarna5156
      @kaushalsuvarna5156 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Edward is now Batman
      #checkmate

  • @MasterTSayge
    @MasterTSayge 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5263

    10 years ago, the Onion Report was comedy gold.
    Now the Onion Report is something to take seriously.

    • @PeerKristijan
      @PeerKristijan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@thesssradio5008 302*

    • @cosmicanomaly3416
      @cosmicanomaly3416 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Wormhole Tech*

    • @zackyjack8891
      @zackyjack8891 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      You should’ve seen 2020 befor talking the future

    • @reactaleu
      @reactaleu 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @OtakuRajini BurstVersus used to*

    • @tarikarifhodzic3334
      @tarikarifhodzic3334 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      It was always satire

  • @glenm99
    @glenm99 ปีที่แล้ว +204

    I love how they introduce him with the words "terrorism expert." Just... the subtlety.

  • @MasterTSayge
    @MasterTSayge 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1864

    "Or my mother is a Jew, I'm that certain."
    Funniest part. lol!

    • @gino9094
      @gino9094 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      01:40 :D

  • @josephstalin6549
    @josephstalin6549 5 ปีที่แล้ว +790

    “Only one has the ability to play news before it happens.” The Onion dosen’t need wormhole satilites, it just needs a writing team

  • @planetary109
    @planetary109 11 ปีที่แล้ว +3382

    "Al Qaeda claimed responsibility for the failed attack..." lmfao!

    • @mrstorch5068
      @mrstorch5068 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      You know they actually do that right?

    • @mrstorch5068
      @mrstorch5068 3 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      @@lonewolf-y1n Firstly they still exist albeit very much diminished. Also, I meant that terror groups have actually claimed responsibility for failed attacks, which is kind of funny.

    • @HellHunter00
      @HellHunter00 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @@mrstorch5068 I suppose since their intent is to spread fear and cause alarm, even if the attack failed, it could still make people fearful that it could have been successful and/or the next one might be.

    • @gendoruwo6322
      @gendoruwo6322 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      they are very responsible group.

  • @mercster
    @mercster 5 ปีที่แล้ว +290

    "Why? The themes are universal."

  • @F33bs
    @F33bs 14 ปีที่แล้ว +1013

    "'September 11th' once again tops list of least popular baby names"
    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

  • @incervialbi
    @incervialbi 11 ปีที่แล้ว +492

    Lol he called him a cur. I always found it SUPER awesome and derogatory sounding. I think i'll use it.

    • @GH69107
      @GH69107 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Actually in Arabic, it means son of a donkey, a foal.

    • @cageybee7221
      @cageybee7221 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @@GH69107 in other words it means "ass child"

  • @Vercingetorix.Fantasia
    @Vercingetorix.Fantasia 2 ปีที่แล้ว +118

    Omar al Farooq was hands down my favorite return character on the onion

    • @c99kfm
      @c99kfm หลายเดือนก่อน

      I have a hard time choosing between him and Michael Falk. Luckily, I can have both.

  • @gordistador
    @gordistador 6 ปีที่แล้ว +714

    They cancelled it as Twilight itself terrorizes people.

  • @konjovi2
    @konjovi2 5 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    The al qaeda actor is superb. I want more of him!

  • @TheThriceIsRight
    @TheThriceIsRight 6 ปีที่แล้ว +190

    First of all, I won't allow anyone to say "Stephanie Meyer" without the title "sheikh"

    • @theevildrummingsithlord1492
      @theevildrummingsithlord1492 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      A MEMRI TV reference? Allah be praised!

    • @user-bs3cj2ky8s
      @user-bs3cj2ky8s 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That would be insulting since the term sheikh means an old man.

    • @jhnnbhfvv6405
      @jhnnbhfvv6405 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@user-bs3cj2ky8s the women version of it is sheikah, and sometime it does not refer to older people it can be used to the Arab royal families.

  • @drollfurball2863
    @drollfurball2863 8 ปีที่แล้ว +384

    So... Will you attack the 50 shades author?

    • @NJ-wb1cz
      @NJ-wb1cz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@milascave2 I think the mullahs are coming to the conclusion that the texts expertly show failings of the western decadency and thus can be considered an essential study material for any devout muslim, especially those who have enough room in their harems for a sex dungeon.

    • @NJ-wb1cz
      @NJ-wb1cz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@milascave2 hm.. your pointless pedantry clearly shows that you're a loser without a harem

    • @ميم-ش6ع2م
      @ميم-ش6ع2م 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I HOPE SO

    • @milascave2
      @milascave2 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@NJ-wb1cz Actually, I lost track of what thread I was answering. I had answered as a joke and so did you but I had recently been dealing with a for-real Islamophobe. The post was a year old, but hey, I answer old posts too. Peace out. (And yea, I used to have a harem, but not anymore.)

    • @milascave2
      @milascave2 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Actually, the book sucked.

  • @TheFtjz
    @TheFtjz 9 ปีที่แล้ว +775

    osama team jacob

    • @jtheman4678
      @jtheman4678 6 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      TheFtjz i knew i didnt like him at all but that makes it worst lol

    • @jarjarbinkssithlord834
      @jarjarbinkssithlord834 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      that is a war crime worse than what they did in 2001

  • @brandonhughes4076
    @brandonhughes4076 ปีที่แล้ว +100

    "Only one has the power to report the news before it happens"
    The Onion predicted their own ability to predict the future

    • @UncleHaul
      @UncleHaul ปีที่แล้ว

      Ever read their article when bush took office? They must be using melange over there no one can get so much so right randomly.

    • @spanishSpaniard
      @spanishSpaniard ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Another piece of information confirming theh knew everything all along.

  • @LusciousTwinkle
    @LusciousTwinkle 8 ปีที่แล้ว +138

    2010 was an excellent year for The Onion...This is one of my top 5...

  • @CoverHaven
    @CoverHaven 14 ปีที่แล้ว +299

    I can't swallow that Onion works so hard for the videos and only get a few views...
    they deserve more!!

    • @oliverseguin7812
      @oliverseguin7812 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      well 11 years later Asad, and this is still being watched :)

    • @alexandrep4913
      @alexandrep4913 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      My dude, I hope you doing well.

    • @SARYM911
      @SARYM911 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      "I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet. But your kids are gonna love it.”"

    • @hidum5779
      @hidum5779 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ain't that the truth even today. The amount of work they put can't be compared with today's videos too

    • @LiberachiBB
      @LiberachiBB ปีที่แล้ว

      @@SARYM911 this almost brought a tear to my eye. I need to go to a BttF Fan Expo and STAT. pay the most

  • @TheLoyalOfficer
    @TheLoyalOfficer 7 ปีที่แล้ว +244

    Seriously - I think this is the FUNNIEST video the Onion ever produced!

    • @felixgutierrez993
      @felixgutierrez993 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      UM THE DEATH PENALTY IS TOTALLY BADASS!

    • @elderberrylinux5279
      @elderberrylinux5279 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@felixgutierrez993 AND SHOULD BE DONE VIA "HEAD-RIPPING-OFF MACHINE!"

    • @felixgutierrez993
      @felixgutierrez993 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@elderberrylinux5279 YES

    • @Earthling..
      @Earthling.. 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Not even close for me.

  • @joshhill1582
    @joshhill1582 3 ปีที่แล้ว +91

    I want a full version of that remake of Twilight

  • @yuhyuh7603
    @yuhyuh7603 3 ปีที่แล้ว +187

    I watch this on full volume in public and sometimes people think it's real

    • @simoneangeliquemaloney3990
      @simoneangeliquemaloney3990 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      You are the hero we need but not the one we deserve

    • @kaushalsuvarna5156
      @kaushalsuvarna5156 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I just held myself from doing it today
      You sir are a hero

    • @JPCPSeto
      @JPCPSeto ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@kaushalsuvarna5156 Why TF are you a hero for playing TH-cam videos in public? Even if it's good?

    • @kaushalsuvarna5156
      @kaushalsuvarna5156 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@JPCPSeto I'm afraid you have to find some answers yourself

    • @ayoungethan
      @ayoungethan ปีที่แล้ว

      God bless you!

  • @BlooGremlin
    @BlooGremlin ปีที่แล้ว +47

    "Thats, thats... wow, I dont believe the filth that is streaming from your lips you curr" might be something i start saying to my friends when we disagree on stuff

    • @5nokli
      @5nokli 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Had me laughing!

  • @Manikese
    @Manikese ปีที่แล้ว +45

    “If you give them a chance, you will be hooked, or my mother is a Jew” 😂

    • @dyawr
      @dyawr ปีที่แล้ว

      😂😂

  • @averagejoe7860
    @averagejoe7860 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    "bin laden himself is team jacob" isn't something i though id hear today

  • @SPFAlpha
    @SPFAlpha 14 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    "I do not believe the filth that is streaming out of your mouth" OMG!!!!!!!!!

  • @nanaa428
    @nanaa428 4 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    As a native arabic speaker, i was actually very impressed with the arabic. The accent is almost perfectly on point.

    • @Bipolar.Baddie
      @Bipolar.Baddie 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I think they're trying to mimic Iraqi Arabic since they're from Al-Qaeda. Irsael doesnt even bother to make their "intercepted Hamas messages" believable 😭😭😭

  • @deathpyre42
    @deathpyre42 3 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    The best part is, this is actually a sequel to the bit in the conspiracy theory segement where Omar threatened an attack on DC to prove the 9/11 conspiracy theorist wrong.

    • @villedocvalle
      @villedocvalle 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Lol the onion sets the standard for quality comedy/satire

  • @wobinich2009
    @wobinich2009 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    It gets even crazier when you learn that 9/11 was the beginning of a sequence of events that indirectly caused the creation of Twilight.

  • @mrrowwmeoww
    @mrrowwmeoww ปีที่แล้ว +61

    the funniest part is al qaeda technically caused twilight
    the 9/11 attacks caused gerard way to start my chemical romance, and the author of twilight says MCR was a big inspiration for twilight

  • @acdcdave1387
    @acdcdave1387 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    All these years later and I still laugh so hard when I watch The Onion. I lost it when he called him a cur

  • @DoggoWillink
    @DoggoWillink ปีที่แล้ว +14

    2:18 his impression is hilarious here, didn’t really catch that at first lol.

  • @lilpenguin092
    @lilpenguin092 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I am so glad these sketches are coming up in the algorithm again lol

  • @admiralstiffplank
    @admiralstiffplank ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Omar's incredulous "wow" was so well-delivered! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @SerbAtheist
    @SerbAtheist 14 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Omar Al-Farouq... you never fail to kill me... literally!

  • @sb99.1
    @sb99.1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    😂 the recreation was perfect! ONN was at the peak of media and content at the golden age. All the characters were hilarious. Omar Al faroque character and the actor's performance were just on different level!

  • @ShankarSivarajan
    @ShankarSivarajan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    1:56 She _did_ resume work on Midnight Sun.

  • @LusciousTwinkle
    @LusciousTwinkle 4 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    i just love that they arent only fans, but book purists to boot!! Why has The Onion not been so massive recently?? its so brilliant...

    • @songbirdsandsandwiches8217
      @songbirdsandsandwiches8217 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Onion was bought out a few years ago, a lot of it's satirical bite was lost soon after.

    • @LusciousTwinkle
      @LusciousTwinkle 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@songbirdsandsandwiches8217 That makes sense....So sad...Perhaps it can make a comeback what with all this PCness being just about over...

    • @villedocvalle
      @villedocvalle 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      A lot people don’t know what quality is, even if it walked up and introduced & described itself.

  • @zechariahellis
    @zechariahellis 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    “Osama Bin Laden himself is a member of team Jacob” my god this channel is fucking hilarious

  • @littletriptoheaven
    @littletriptoheaven 12 ปีที่แล้ว +123

    "The themes are universal" Hahahahahaha I love you Onion.

  • @DavidNasr
    @DavidNasr 3 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    the conversation is funnier in arabic than the translation

    • @edinfific2576
      @edinfific2576 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes, they translated "Hurry, hurry!" into "Let's get over there." But even so, it's funnier in Arabic, even in the couple words I understood because I understand them from experience rather than from a dry translation.

  • @Hermionerox24
    @Hermionerox24 11 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    'All military caravans will now contain either real or decoy Taylor Lautner'
    MADE MY DAY

  • @Aatell764
    @Aatell764 2 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    Th Onion news network is just pure gold how do they come up with this stuff and then have actors actually pull off the skits so seriously surely they had to film this over like 20 times because the actors broke character laughing their asses off.

    • @dungeontnt
      @dungeontnt ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I can contain my laugher to... It is a hard skill to lern

    • @KD-xb5np
      @KD-xb5np ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I wish they had blooper reels, those would be hilarious to watch.

  • @lizxu322
    @lizxu322 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The "Praise Allah!" was filled with so much emotion

  • @mybalcony4066
    @mybalcony4066 4 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    Well the midnight sun is coming out soon so I guess they did right by calling off the attack lmao

    • @ayoungethan
      @ayoungethan ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Letting her live is asymmetrical warfare

  • @TheSpankymonkey
    @TheSpankymonkey 14 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    I only trust the Onion to bring me the very best and factual news each and every day!

  • @Fixeish
    @Fixeish 5 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    "It sounds like the US barely avoided a major attack here, is that right? Yes, for the moment, ..." HAHAHAHAHA

  • @neuvocastezero1838
    @neuvocastezero1838 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    "...should be stoned to death, for encumbering Jacob Black with so much heartache."

  • @oberonpanopticon
    @oberonpanopticon 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    “It seems like the US avoided a major attack here”
    “Yes for the moment”

  • @exactinmidget92
    @exactinmidget92 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    so glad i found a new video with Omar.

  • @florptytoo
    @florptytoo ปีที่แล้ว +21

    "Or my mother is a Jew"
    I cannot 🤣

  • @TaeSunWoo
    @TaeSunWoo ปีที่แล้ว +6

    0:46 “yes, for the moments” I’m dying

  • @MrFoxfire510
    @MrFoxfire510 12 ปีที่แล้ว +199

    LMAO , "You know if you give them a chance, you will be hooked or my mother is a jew" lolol talking about the twilight books hahaha

  • @aristideau5072
    @aristideau5072 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I was just wondering (after 10+ years) if there were anymore of these videos after watching the original 911 ones.
    Are there anymore with this guy? He is hilarious

  • @g.w.7893
    @g.w.7893 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    How these actors are able to keep straight faces must take miraculous levels of focus.

  • @davidsego7783
    @davidsego7783 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Commenting after the capital attack on 1/6/21

    • @Game_Hero
      @Game_Hero 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      If Stephanie Meyer had been there, there would have been no attack

  • @Top_Weeb
    @Top_Weeb ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Omar Al-Farouq is my favorite recurring Onion character.

  • @cvb777
    @cvb777 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I miss these Onion reports. Bring them back!

  • @jannchavez9257
    @jannchavez9257 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I can't believe there will be a new version soon.

  • @artanis1443
    @artanis1443 14 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    This is brilliant. What makes them even cooler is that they actually used Arabic speakers who speak Arabic with an Iraqi dialect to make this skit. So anyone who says this is racist, Arabs were in on it, acted in it, and helped write it.

  • @magnustoth8506
    @magnustoth8506 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is brilliant. So many good lines worth remembering.

  • @chiefzackery6651
    @chiefzackery6651 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Midnight sun is coming in august, the onion needs to bring back Al-Farouq!!!!

  • @Terranova339
    @Terranova339 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    0:20 the text was actually correct and well acted DAMN that's impressive. Even big films and series with insane budget cant seem to get that right. Im so impresed by the onions quality

  • @nathanaelraynard2641
    @nathanaelraynard2641 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    ngl now i really believe that onion actually have a wormhole time travel thing

  • @blacklight4720
    @blacklight4720 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    That visual effects... Especially wearwolf transformation.

  • @krishnasuryawanshi7788
    @krishnasuryawanshi7788 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    TH-cam recommending me after 12 years

  • @lvmike424
    @lvmike424 14 ปีที่แล้ว

    The most reliable news source for sure!

  • @damianmedina8888
    @damianmedina8888 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This is pure gold love it that still in 2020 you guys still as funny

  • @ijayawardena3692
    @ijayawardena3692 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    damn onion, you did it again.

    • @lambgordon490
      @lambgordon490 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Onion is just very early journalism
      ~someone in yt comment

    • @ijayawardena3692
      @ijayawardena3692 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@lambgordon490 yup id agree

  • @bigjed3467
    @bigjed3467 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Omar Al-Farouk is such a G

  • @victor9
    @victor9 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    this guy should be a movie star. so funny

  • @PixelBoyMiner
    @PixelBoyMiner 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This is my favorite skit ever

  • @olivia-yy5nk
    @olivia-yy5nk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    It was smart to keep her alive considering Midnight Sun has just come out!

  • @granthamilton1918
    @granthamilton1918 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Interesting cause 9/11 actually is indirectly responsible for the twilight books.

  • @gamesgames3318
    @gamesgames3318 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is a masterpiece i can't believe it doesnt have more views.

  • @Kurtplox
    @Kurtplox 14 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    "Osama BinLaden himself was a member of team Jacob!!"
    LMAO

  • @DannyDeVito-p5y
    @DannyDeVito-p5y 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I really miss THIS version of The Onion.....they were such a great source of real artistic satire. Bring it back, please.

  • @BeezOne84
    @BeezOne84 14 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    The style, the quality, the satire OMG...
    They'are kick ass!!! :))
    Stay tuned for Onion news.

  • @JG-zs8tr
    @JG-zs8tr หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Both actors are fantastic in this.

  • @TheSlenderLynx857
    @TheSlenderLynx857 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    "I do not believe the filth that is streaming from your lips you cur"

  • @rexlevitak1
    @rexlevitak1 12 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This 3 minute clip has done more to destroy the fear of terrorism then both wars combined

  • @iamsheel
    @iamsheel 7 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Omer is fixed in this video. every thing is fixed and accurate. the Onion is perfect, the only accurate and perfect news network :D

  • @jaydenmarriott5842
    @jaydenmarriott5842 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Technically 9/11 did cause twilight...
    Let me explain:
    Gerard Way, lead singer of my chemical romance, witnessed 9/11 and was moved to write the song "Skylines and Turnstiles," thus starting MCR.
    MCR inspired Stephenie Meyer to a degree to write twilight. (Fun fact: MCR was asked to make the soundtrack for Twilight, but refused. A few years later they were instead featured on the kids TV show: Yo Gaba Gaba)
    If you want to take this further, 50 shades of gray started as fan fiction of twilight.

    • @rooty
      @rooty ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Can we somehow work Muse into this, who also inspired Meyer and later turned into a bunch of 9/11 truthers

  • @HiEyGurl
    @HiEyGurl ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I know this is satire but i for some reason feel really Nostalgic and kinda depressed